Step by Step (1991–1998): Season 7, Episode 1 - Making the Grade - full transcript

[instrumental music]

Bye, honey. Have fun in school.
I'll miss you.

Okay, I think I got everything
I need for school.

I got the notebooks,
the day runner

seventy-five function
calculator.

How 'bout you, honey?

I got a bag full of M&M's
and a Gameboy.

[chuckles]

- Goodbye.
- 'Bye. Bye, bye, bye.'

Okay, now, Lilly,
I'll tell you the best thing

about the first day of class
is they give you



a whole new box of crayons.

Crayons?
Dad, we have computers.

I get to make my own webpage.

My first day at school,
I made my own sock puppet.

Okay, honey, smile!

[camera clicks]

[horn honking]

- That's my bus!
- Oh, uh, J.T.?

Son, take your sister
out to the bus.

- Dad, I'm still eating.
- Yeah!

You're always still eating.
Take her with you.

[groans]

- Come on, Lilly.
- Okay.

- Bye, mom.
- I'm gonna miss you so much.



Bye-bye, bye, bye, bye.

- Okay, okay.
- Bye, bye, bye.

- Guys, bye.
- Bye, bye.

[Frank chuckles]

- Whoa.
- Oh.

Am I gonna break
some hearts or what?

You look so beautiful, Karen.

I know.

- Mom? Photo?
- Huh! Oh, right.

Okay.

[camera clicks]

Oh, I can't believe my baby
is going off to college.

It just seems like yesterday
you were sitting on the floor

playing with my cosmetic bag

trying on all of mommy's makeup.

Carol, that was yesterday.

[horn honking]

Oh, there's my ride.
See you later.

Karen, Karen, Karen,
Karen, Karen.

I love you.
I love you so much.

I love you,
I'm gonna missyou!

Uh, mom, let go.
You're wrinkling my rayon.

[gasps]
Oh, sorry.

- Okay, sweetheart, bye-bye.
- Okay.

Have a good day.
I love you and I'll miss you.

Call me. I'll be waiting
by the phone.

[sighs]

- Honey, did you hear that?
- Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

It's just a little back up
on the breakfast sausage.

Not that. The silence
that the kids are all gone.

I mean, soon they'll be
gone for good.

Then, what are we gonna do?

Well, I don't know about you,
but..

...I'm gonna run around naked
with my underwear on my head

singin' "Free At Last."

Well, I don't feel
that way at all.

I mean, Lilly's now
in the first grade

and Mark and Allen
are in high school.

And Dana, J.T.
and now Karen are in college.

I mean, it's all
going by so fast.

Oh, come on now, honey,
I mean, listen between your kids

and my kids and Lilly
for the past seven years

we've been up to our
eyeballs in kids.

I mean, why don't you take
advantage of the fact

they're not gonna be around.

Find something
that really interests you

and just sort of
throw yourself into it.

Ooh!
We could have another baby.

Don't throw yourself
into that, okay?

[theme music]

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over
a different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall
the stronger we stay ♪

♪ We'll make it better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Hi, I'm looking
for Karen Foster.

Oh! Who isn't?
She's over there.

Hi, honey.

Mom, what are you doing here?

Well, I've been thinking about
this for a couple of days

and I have decided
that I'm going to college too.

Isn't that wonderful?

No! You're my mother.

You shouldn't be going
to college with me.

Oh, look, I know this seems
little awkward at first

but before long you'll just see
me as another student.

Excuse me, could you move so I
could sit next to my daughter?

- Thank you.
- Mom!

[sighs]

We're still havin' lunch, right?

- Yeah.
- Great! Where are we eating?

[instrumental music]

Karen!

Mother, will you stop
following me?

I'm not.
I'm in your next class.

You're in two of my classes?

Actually, five.

Karen!

[Dana]
I don't know why I even bother
to look at my grades.

I always get the same thing.

A, A plus.

A plus-plus, hmm.

Man, I can't believe
they gave us a pop quiz

like that without
any warning.

- Huh!
- Rich.

Pop quiz,
it's supposed to be a surprise.

Honey, you know, I love
that you know these things.

Hey, hey, look at this,
top of the class.

"Foster, A."
Some things never change.

Yay! Let's see what I got.

"Halke, C." Yes!

Be it all, that I can be.
Yes!

Wait, you're actually
happy about a C?

Well, yes!
C is good, C is average.

C is a...smile.
Turned out inside.

Ooh! Free puppet show!

Rich, don't you think
that maybe

you should aim
a little higher?

Why?

So that you could learn more
and get better grades.

You know, challenge yourself.
Grow.

Well, you know, I have a very
simple philosophy about that.

You always aim low and you'll
never be disappointed.

Wait, so,
that's your life plan?

To just aim low
and be average?

Well, yeah, that and uh..

get a big screen TV.

Big.

Rich, listen very carefully.

I have spent my life

striving for excellence

pushing myself
to achieve goals

working day and night
to reach my highest potential.

Tsk. Honey, no wonder
you're so cranky all the time.

I think it would be
really good for you

and our relationship..

...if you tried
a little harder in school.

In fact, why don't we

study together
for tomorrow's test?

Oh! Okay.

Alright, I-I give, I give,
I give, I.. God!

I knew you would see it my way.

[chuckles]

[instrumental music]

- Frank!
- Oh, yeah, honey.

I am excited and
I have youto thank for it.

- Mm-mm.
- Wow!

- Mm.
- Mm-mm.

Hey, you're more than welcome

if you are talkin'
about last night.

[chuckles]

I'll dress up
like Burt Reynolds any day.

Hair on, hair off,
hair on, hair off.

- Well, that was great.
- Yeah, buddy!

- But that's not it.
- Huh?

I enrolled in college today.

College?

That wouldn't be the same
college our kids are going to?

Well, now that you mentioned

I guess I did see Karen
there couple of times.

[sighing]
Well, what uh,
what class are you takin'?

- Uh, Psychology..
- Ah..

Yeah, and English, American
History, Philosophy, and..

- Near Eastern Studies.
- Near Eastern Studies?

Carol, that is
a full course load.

And if I remember correctly

it is Karen's
full course load.

I know, I know

that way we can share books
and save money.

- Isn't that great?
- No, honey, come here.

Carol, listen, I know you're
feeling a little separation

from the kids,
but going to college

with Karen is insane.

Well, you told me to do it.

- I told you?
- Yes.

You said find something
I really care about

and just throw myself into it.

Yeah, but I meant like,
flower arranging or folk dancing

or macrame,
not stalking your daughter.

I am notstalking
my daughter.

I understand
she needs her freedom.

I'm willing to give her
all the room she needs.

Now, if you will excuse me,
I have to go upstairs

and pick out her
outfit for tomorrow.

[instrumental music]

"Name the four major time spans

in the Earth's history?"

- Four major--
- Without looking.

It's okay, I know this.
I know this.

First one
is the Precambrian Era.

Ha! Very good!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And the, um,
the second one is the, um..

...the-the dinosaur era.

Followed shortly
by the dead dinosaur era.

And then after that
was the disco era. That's right.

You know what, Rich,
I'm getting tired of this now.

I'm killing myself here

trying to help you study

and you're just foolin' around.

I know you're doing
such a good job.

Chill, I'm just kidding.

Did anyone ever tell you

that you have just
the most perfect ears?

I mean, look at 'em,
they're not too big

not too small,
not too waxy.

You see,
this is the problem with you.

You never take
anything seriously.

[scoffs]
Dana, I-I don't know

how you can say that, I mean..

I'm being very serious
with you right now.

I mean, look at me.
This is me being serious.

That's not funny.

It's a little funny.

Rich, you're impossible.

If this is the way you're gonna
be for the rest of your life

I don't know that we have
much of a future together.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Hey, roomie, check it out.

I just made the mother
of all food raids

on dad's fridge. Ha-ha-ha!

I used my new shopping coat.
Check it out, man.

We're gonna chow down tonight.

I'm not in the mood.

[laughs]
You will be
when you see this ham.

Check it out.

- No, thanks.
- No?

Well, how about salami?

J.T., man,
I don't want anything.

I think Dana just dumped me

'cause I'm getting lousy grades.

That's not fair.

She knew you were stupid
when she started dating you.

- Yeah.
- 'Yeah.'

Rich, come here, buddy.
Let me talk to you for a second.

You're my bud. Come on.
Come here.

Look, Rich..

...I'm a sensitive guy.

I know it's tough
to get dumped

and I feel your pain.

But, Rich,
there's only one thing to do.

Get over it, man!

This could be the best thing
that ever happened to you.

- How do you figure?
- Because..

Now you can spend
more time with me.

We can do all the things
we used to do.

Party, hang, pig-out.

Look, just 'cause
your girlfriend's away

doesn't mean that
I don't wanna be with Dana.

Rich, just forget about her.

Guys like us,
we don't need women.

We'll make our own fun.
Check it out.

Two spoons..

...a jar of peanut butter..

...and a solid hour of
"Xena, The Warrior Princess."

We're set, man.

I've a feeling
tonight's the night

she outgrows
her breast plate.

[J.T. grunting]

See ya.

Ride that horse, Xena.
Ride it.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter]

Yoo-hoo, Karen.

Hi, I'm a transfer
from Dr. Adler's class.

Sweetheart, why didn't you tell
me you were transferring?

Gee, it must have
slipped my mind.

Today we're going to examine
chapter two

on our early
childhood development.

The focus of our
discussion will be

child's attachment
to security objects.

Can, uh, anyone give me
an example of this?

- Ooh, ooh, ooh.
- Yes.

Hi, my name is Carol Lambert

and I have the cutest story
about my daughter here, Karen

when she was a little baby.

Oh, God, no.

Anyway, she had this
little washcloth

with this adorable,
little mouse on it.

Mom, I'm begging you.

Oh, sweetheart, it's nothing
to be ashamed of.

Anyway, she had
this little washcloth

and there was
a little mouse on it

so we nicknamed it "Mousy."

But Karen, she didn't have
all her teeth yet

so she called it "Mouthy."

[laughs]

Mouthy, Mouthy, Mouthy.

[laughs]

She took Mouthy everywhere

when she slept,
when she ate.

She even went tinkle

with little Mouthy
when she went to the potty.

[laughs]
Remember? Where..

'Karen, where are you going?'

Into therapy!

[instrumental music]

Well, well, well!
Look who's here.

Joe Average,
Mr. Mediocre

Remedial Rich.

You comin' to watch them
post your usual C?

God, I hope I don't get a C.

Pulled an all-nighter.

Rich, I don't think it qualifies
as an all-nighter

to sit around
with J.T. watching

a woman slay dragons
in her bra.

Dana, I wasn't with J.T.
last night, alright?

I thought about what you said

and I realized
that you were right.

So I...took my books,
headed off to the library

and I've been studying
until 4:00 a.m.

You really did study
in the library all night?

Yes, I did
and you know what?

I even used a highlighter
for the first time.

Yellow on my hands
to prove it.

You highlighted for me?

I highlighted for us.

[chuckles]
Oh, baby..

- Oh, now don't get too excited.
- Oh..

Okay, you can get
a little excited.

[chuckling]

Listen, I was so wiped
from studying all night

and I'm so upset
about our fight

that I don't think
I did well at all.

Rich, I don't care

what grade you got
on the test, okay?

What's important to me is that

you took something seriously

and you worked so hard.

And that shows me

that you really care
about our future.

See?

Okay, everybody.

Read 'em and weep.

I know I did.

[sighing]
Okay.

[sighs]

Rich Halke.

Rich Halke.
Halke. Halke..

A. Ha-ha! I got an A.

[laughs]
I got an..

What the hell kinda
sick joke is this?

It's not a joke.

You studied
and you got a good grade.

That's usually
how it works.

- I got an A. Yay!
- That's my baby.

Baby, let's see what you got.
Let's see what you got.

Dana Foster, uh..

Dana Foster.

B.

B?

Let me see that!

B? This stinks!

[sighs]
Dana. Dana, Dana, Dana.

B, you know I..

- I am shocked and appalled.
- Don't go there.

I mean, I'm a very
ambitious person.

I strive for excellence
and you know..

You keep slackin' off
like this, missy

I'm afraid we're not gonna have
much of a future together.

What do you think now?

Huh, I think, uh..

[clears throat]

...we need to go home and, uh..

...pull an all-nighter.

[instrumental music]

[thud]

O-ow!

Oh, you think you're in pain?

Try having your mother
tell your entire class

about your
potty training habits.

She told them about Mouthy?

Yes.

So, excuse me,
I'm going upstairs

to take my mascara off
and cry my eyes out.

[thud]

[Carol sighs]

[exhales]
I am so upset!

- Ow! Honey--
- Oh, not now, Frank.

I'm not in the mood.

Karen says
I'm ruining her life.

Really? Well, let's just take
a look at it, shall we? Um..

She's 18.
She's going to college.

She's trying real hard
to be an adult, and..

every time she turns around
her mommy's there.

[imitates buzzer]
Survey says,
you're ruining her life.

Oh, thanks a lot, Frank.
Take her side.

Honey, I'm not takin'
anybody's side here.

I'm trying to be
objective, okay?

I mean, how would you
feel it, uh

i-if your mother
went to college with you, huh?

Oh, well, that's different.

I mean, my mom was a mom-mom.

I am a different
kind of a mom.

You know,
kind of a...cool mom.

Kind of a hip mom,
sort of a groovy kind of mom.

[thud]

I'll prove it to you. Al.

How would you feel
if I went to school with you?

Horrified, humiliated
and nauseous.

Well?

Would you, uh, like me to check
with some of the other kids?

No, no, you're right.

Karen's right.
You're all right.

I'm a clingy, overbearing

nightmare of a mother.

But I can't help it.

It seems like just yesterday
I was holding Karen in my arms

then I blinked
and she went off to college

and I'm afraid
if I blink again

she's gonna be gone forever.
They're all gonna be gone.

Listen, honey, I know
it's hard for you, but..

...that's what it's like
to be a parent.

I mean, you invest
all your time and love

and energy
into raising your kids

and if you do your job
exactly right

they grow up
and leave you.

They have to?

I mean, why can't
we all live here forever

like "The Waltons?"

[laughs]

Okay.

Even John-Boy
moved away eventually.

Listen, honey,
I know how you feel.

But I also want you to know
that I think

you are the most
wonderful mother

in the whole world.

But part of being
a good mother

is knowing when to let go.

Yeah.

Guess I better go upstairs
and apologize.

Yeah, you know what, why don't
you do yourself a favor

and apologize tomorrow?

I think Karen's pretty well
had it with you today.

Aah..

[instrumental music]

I love shopping late at night.

It's less crowded.

Okay, let's see
what we got today.

Ooh, lovely, mm..

Jell-O, I love it.
I love Jell-O.

Honey, yes! Lots of honey!
Lots of honey, lots..

'Cottage cheese.
Hey, gotta get that.'

'Eggs, yes, we love eggs too.'

We love eggs, hm.

That should do it. Alright.

[Frank coughing]

Oh, hello, J.T.
What's happening?

Oh, nothin', nothin'.

I certainly
wasn't stealing any food.

Oh, I know, son, I trust you.
You're a good kid.

As a matter of fact,
how about a hug?

Uh-huh..

No thanks, dad.
I-I'm a little too old for that.

- I'm just not into it.
- J.T.

- Uh-huh.
- I want a hug.

Ooh.

Just like the old days.

[J.T. groans]

Clean up on aisle three.

[instrumental music]