Step by Step (1991–1998): Season 6, Episode 12 - Loose Lips - full transcript

Come on, Al, pull!

I am pulling.

Pull harder!

Karen,
if I pull any harder,

I'm gonna
break your pelvis.

Who cares?

Once I get
these jeans on,

Okay. Okay.
I got it.

Button it!

If that's what it takes
to get 'em on,

That was just
the button.



Now we gotta
close her up.

I have a date
with Cameron Loring,

the hottest guy in school.

And he really likes girls
in tight jeans.

Karen, please.

I know.

I'm shallow,
I'm superficial,

and an embarrassment
to sisterhood.

Now shut up
and help me zip.

Okay.

All right, on three.
Ready?

One, two, three!

See?
Told you they fit.

Now all I have to do
is put on some
six-inch heels.



Cameron
also likes tall girls.

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So anyway, Alana,
I was wondering

if tonight
you'd care to join me

for dinner, or perhaps
a trip to the cinema?

What'd she say?
What'd she say?

Shh! Shut up!
Be quiet.

Very well, then.

Okay. All right.
Tonight it is.

All right.
Ciao,baby.

She said yes?
Yeah, she said yes.

I don't believe it.

You got a date
with Alana Mills?

Boy, she's hot.

I heard she French-kisses
on the first date.

Baby.

Yeah. Tongue town.
Tongue town.

Tongue town.
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Tongue town.
Tongue town.

We need to get those boys
a football.

All right, showgirls.
Break it up.

We got some
grocery shopping to do.

Come on.
Move it or lose it.

Move it or...

Lucky you're younger
than me.

Hey, J.T., bro,

how about, lending me
your bachelor pad
tonight?

What for?

No, I just happen
to have a date

with the hottest babe
in school.

You're serious.

Wow, well, way to go, Mark.

Yeah, man,
I'm proud of you.

You've finally grown up
to be a horn dog,

just like the rest of us.

Of course you can use
the pad, bro.

All right.
Thanks, J.T.

And tonight,
when I'm with Alana,

I'll be thinking of you.

Bro, we need to talk.

Men are scum.

They're nothing
but skirt-chasing,

two-timing, lying pigs.

Bad date?

Cameron dumped me
for Liz Kavanagh.

Which makes no sense.

I mean,
I have a better body.

Especially in these jeans.

I have longer legs.

Especially in
these boots.

except for the highlights.

Karen, has it ever
occurred to you

that it just might not
be about looks?

Yeah, right.

It's gotta be something.

Lips! That's it!

Well, Karen,
if this guy dumped you
because of your lips,

he's not worth
going out with anyway.

I'm going to my room.

Man, can you believe
that Pamela Anderson

can run across
a beach like that

and never be nominated
for an Emmy?

Yeah.
That's right.

I be cool,
I be bad,

I be fly.

You be Zorro.

That's right, gentlemen.

I'm coming into this date
with my own spit,

and I'm coming out
with somebody else's.

Hey!

God, that's her.

Man.
Now I'm really nervous.

Mark, Mark, listen.
Just calm down.

You'll be fine,
all right?

Go with the flow.
All right.

Go with the flow.
Okay.

Go with the flow.

Go with the flow.

- Hi.
- I...

Nice place.

Sorry,
but that's what happens

when you have lots
of athletic equipment.

So... Well, do you have
my English homework?

Yeah,
it's all done.

Ten pages, footnotes,
and bibliography.

Wow, that's great.

Gotta find a way
to thank you.

Well, a person could
say "Thank you" in many ways.

A fruit basket,
for example,

or a witty card,
or note, or...

That works, too.

Maybe we should just,
you know, get to know each
other a little bit better.

Maybe share a beverage,
or some pickles.

Why don't we just
turn out the lights
and see what happens?

Wait.

Um, you know,
you'll have to excuse me.

I'll be right back.

Go fish.

Man, guys. Guys.

She wants
to turn off the lights
and see what happens.

What should I do?

Yeah.

Yeah, but I thought
there'd be a few stops
along the way.

I mean, man, this,
this train is like
the bullet train.

She's...
She's just moving
way too fast for me.

She's moving way too fast
for Charlie Sheen.

Mark, okay, listen.
Listen.

Just go back in there,
all right?

Put on some slow music,
and, go with the flow.

Okay. All right,
I'll give it a shot.

All right?
All right.

With the flow.
With the flow.

Just go with the flow.
Going with the flow.

Go with the flow.

Okay, I'm back
with the beverages.

I, see you've
turned down the lights again.

Is that okay?

Sure.

I'm not afraid
of the dark anymore.

I got rid of that
nightlight years ago.

Let me open this
for you.

Jeez.

It's okay.
I'll just take
my shirt off.

Take off your shirt?

Here, could you
hang this up for me?

Wonder how Mark's doing.

Guess the date's over.

I can't believe Mark
didn't call me last night.

I was up all night
wondering what happened
with him and Alana.

Well, I know what
I would do with her.

Hey, guys.

Hey, um, so how'd it go
with Alana last night?

Well, I'd rather not
talk about it.

Come on, man.
I need details.

Guys, come on,
just back off.

No, no, no.

At least tell me...
Did you kiss her?

Well, actually,
she kissed me.

She kissed you?
My gosh!

Tell me, man,
did you see any skin?

Well, she did
take her shirt off, but...

She took her shirt off!
Shh.

Who took
her shirt off?

Alana Mills.

Yeah, she was all over
our buddy Mark last night.

All right.
Way to go, Foster.

It's no big deal.

You know, I always thought
you were kind of a geek,

but I guess you're cool.
Yeah.

Well, what can I say?

Color me studly?
Yeah.

Okay, so you're alone,
her shirt's off.

What happened?
Yeah, come on.

Little, little boys.

You have so much
to learn.

- Mark.
- No, no, no.

Let's just say that
Alana's a woman,

I'm a man,

and she wasn't
wearing a shirt.

And let's just say
you ran out of the room

crying for your mommy.

Man.

You ran away?

Please say
it ain't so.

I knew it, Foster.

You're a wimp.

Hey, guess what,
everybody?

Alana Mills
took her shirt off

and Foster
ran for his mommy!

Great.
Now the whole
school knows.

Would you
take it easy?

The whole school
doesn't know.

Attention,
fellow students.

Important announcement.

Mark Foster
ran away from a girl.

It's official,
he's a wimp.

Okay, Al,
what's going on?

Well, come here, Dad.

Listen, I got a message
that there's something
wrong with Mark.

Now, what's the emergency?

Yeah, everyone's
making fun of him.

Everybody always
makes fun of Mark.

I know, but this time
it's pretty bad.

He locked himself
in his locker.

What?
Here.

There's a flyer
going around school.

It explains
the whole thing.

"Hottest girl in school...

"Shirt off...

"Ran like a bunny"?

"Mama's boy."
Boy.

Okay, I got it.

Locker number six.

Thanks, Al.
I'll see you at dinner.

Sure.

Mark.

Go away.

Mark...

Frank, we're gonna have to talk later.

I'm waiting until nightfall.

Then... I can make my way home through the sewer system.

Come on, Mark.
Don't you think that's
a little extreme?

I mean, you're gonna have
to come out of that locker
sooner or later...

Thanks.

Frank, I was alone
with a girl's chest.

It was everything
I ever dreamed about,

and I ran like
the wimp that I am.

Mark,
you are not a wimp.

Frank, even the kid
that walks backwards

and thinks he's Batman
made fun of me.

Well, you just have
to forget

about what all the other
kids are saying, okay?

It doesn't matter
what they say.

Now, as far
as I'm concerned,

you, you were
alone with a girl

who wanted to move
faster than you did,

and you didn't feel
comfortable with that,

so you walked out,

and I think
that takes guts.

You really think so?

I absolutely think so.

Mark, is it true
what everyone's saying
about you and Alana Mills?

Yes, it is.

Go ahead.
Take your best shot.

Would you like to go
to the movies with me
sometime?

You wanna go out
on a date with me?

Yeah, I hear you're
the only guy in school

who isn't a horn dog.

Well,
that's absolutely true.

Mark here's a fine,
young gentleman.

Thanks, Frank.
I can take it from here.

Bye.

Would you like
to walk me to Biology?

It'd be my pleasure.

It's okay.
All right.

Okay, look, guys.
I don't have much time.

Karen is
right behind me.

What?
Yeah.

I know. I know.
And I...

So, look,
just don't stare,

How big are they?

Hewwo.

Mama!

These burgers are good.

So, what's new?

That's a...
That's a nice sweater,
Karen.

Yeah, it, um, goes,
really well with that
shade of lip size.

Here, have some corn.

Thanks.

All right, Karen.
Look.

Let's just stop pretending
everything's normal, okay?

had some collagen injections,
and your lips are swollen.

What'd you
enhance them with,
a caulking gun?

You know,
J.T., shut up.

She doesn't need
any of your lip.

Karen!
You look pretty cool.

Wiwwy?

Yeah. You look
just like the Joker.

Okay. I get it.

I wook widicuwous.

I'm never going out
in public again.

I'm compwetewy humiwiated.

Karen, it's me.

Go away.
I don't need you
to yell at me.

I'm not gonna yell at you,

but I think we should
talk about this.

Don't want you
to see me.

I wook wike a fweak.

It can't be that bad.

Besides, collagen's
only temporary.

In a couple of weeks,
it'll dissolve

and you'll be
back to normal.

Honey, you don't
have to hide that way.

It can't be that bad.

Wow.

I never should have
done this.

Well, I agree.

I really don't think
it's right to mess with
your body that way.

I know.

Well, why'd you do it?

I guess I panicked
when Cameron dumped me,

and I thought
this would help.

So you did this
to yourself

for a guy
you went out with once?

Well, no,
it's not just that.

I see all these models
in magazines and on T.V.,

and I see
what guys want.

They want women
to be perfect.

You know, no fat,

teeny waist,
big chest,

full, pouty...
wips.

You know what?
You're right.

Those images are out there
everywhere you look,

and it stinks.

Whoever cooked up this idea

that women weren't
worth anything unless
they look a certain way

ought to be shot.

But, Karen, I mean,

I know sometimes you get
caught up in your looks,

but if you wanna know
how beautiful
you really are,

you gotta look inside.

You're funny
and you're sweet,

and, best of all,
you've got a good heart.

That's what counts.

Wish I'd thought of that
before I did it.

Now I've got to pay
this off my cwedit card

and walk awound
wooking wike a duck.

Yeah, but I bet

this is "wast" time
you use collagen again.

Absowutewy.

All right, J.T.,
you take the fridge,
I'll take the cupboards.

Okay.
Okay.

Rich! Look! Cake!

No, no.
J.T., come on, man.

Chocolate cake
is your dad's favorite.

You leave something
like that out,

you're just asking
for it to be taken.

All right,
let's go for it.

Yes.

Aah!

I think your dad's
onto us.

Ha!

Well, well, well.

What have we
got here?

We were just having
a little snack, Dad.

A little snack?

Do you know what I've been
paying for food lately?

$900 a week.

You touch the food
in this house again,

I'm gonna sic
an attack dog on you.

Night.

Attack dog!

He's bluffing.
Let's raid the fridge.

Come on.

Did you hear that?
Yeah.

Nice doggie.

N-Nice doggie.
Nice doggie.