Step by Step (1991–1998): Season 5, Episode 2 - Three Girls and a Baby - full transcript
Cody believes his own obituary, especially when the money machine does the same... Frank and Carol are sick and tired of spending no quality time since months, so the girls are to babysit Lilly while the parents book a romantic dinner, alas in a restaurant where the staff on strike expects solidarity, the movie theater is terribly chatter-noisy and sneezy, making out-point gets them visited by a bear... The girls wrestle with diapers and Dana's feminist nightmare-version of fairy-tales, then lock themselves out of the nursery and make it worse trying to use tools, still Dana would refuse male help from the fire department Karen called for...
J.T., dude, you gotta
help me out, man.
-I got a major problem.
-Sure, man. What is it?
I'm dead.
You mean, you're in trouble?
No. I mean, I'm dead.
Deceased.
Pushin' up the daisies.
That sweet chariot
is swingin' low
and coming forward
to carry me home.
Cody, what are you
talking about?
This. Check it out.
The newspaper ran
my obituary this morning.
I wasn't even cold yet.
"Cody Lambert
of Port Washington, Wisconsin
"died yesterday
of natural causes."
You see?
I'm on the voyage
to that final frontier
from which the Enterprise
never returned.
God!
Cody, you're not dead.
Think about it.
If you're dead, then how come
we could see you?
That's right.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Maybe I'm a ghost.
Cool!
Dude, I always wanted
to walk through a wall.
All right.
Dude, maybe St. Peter
didn't get my paperwork yet.
Yeah, hey,
this is Frank Lambert
over at Lambert Constructions.
-Dad, please.
-Yeah, Al, would you just
wait a minute, please?
Thank you.
-Have my roofing tiles
come in yet?
-Mom,
-my waffles are cold.
-All right,
just a minute, Mark.
Karen, how's this? Karen,
Karen, Karen, how's this?
Give me a minute,
would you, please?
-Mom, you missed a spot.
-Dad!
-Mom, waffles?
-Just a minute, Mark.
But, Mom, they're cold.
Give me that.
There. Now, they're hot.
All right.
Now I'm sorry, pal.
Yeah, but that's just
not gonna cut it, okay?
-Dad, permission slip.
-Yeah, okay. Hang on.
Yeah, but well, when are
they coming in anyway?
Permission slip.
Well, listen here,
that's not gonna work
'cause I'm putting
the roof on today.
Listen, I ordered those tiles
-six weeks ago.
-Permission slip.
And you promised me
that they'd be in...
Yeah, yeah,
hold on a minute, hold on.
Who are you?
I'm Brendan's friend.
Can I go to the museum too?
Sure. Why not?
-Okay, listen, you call me
as soon a they come in...
-Thanks.
...would you?
No problem, pal.
-Come on. Let's go.
-Okay, kids, come on.
-Everybody, in the car.
-Shotgun.
No, I get it.
Carol, come home for dinner.
I'll see you at 6:00.
- I can't. I have PTA tomorrow.
- Don't push me.
Al pushed you.
- Brendan's got,
Cub Scouts.
- Maybe on the weekend?
- I'll get back to you.
Yeah, you'll get back to me.
Come on, Dad.
We're late.
You'll get back to me?
Frank, Frank, this is crazy.
I mean, we have not spent
five minutes alone together
in the last month.
I know.
And it's gonna stop tonight.
You're gonna call
and cancel your PTA.
- I...
- And I'm gonna make us
a reservation
at Chez Paris
restaurant, okay?
We'll have a nice quiet dinner
go to a movie,
we'll park by the lake
and I can help you work off
some of those
post-pregnancy bounce.
Well, if I have to workout
I guess I might as well
work out on you.
Hey, Cody. How's it going?
How do you think it's going?
I'm dead.
Man, frankly,
this whole thing's
starting to bunch my shorts.
Cody, for the 100th time,
you're not dead.
Yes, I am, bro.
Dude, now I even
got documentation
to prove it, okay?
This morning I went
to my bank machine
to get out some cash,
you know,
for my cemetery plot,
my shroud,
other sundry items
I might need
in the afterlife.
Check this out. I put my card
in the machine.
Guess what it said.
You have lost your mind.
No, no, that's not it.
It said, "Account closed.
Card holder deceased."
Knock, knock, knocking
on heaven's doorknob.
Penniless to boot.
Man,
that gives me the blues.
Thank you, girls,
for taking care
of Lilly tonight.
No problem. It'll be cool.
Okay, Frank and I
are bringing
the cellular phones
so you can reach us
at any time.
And here are the numbers
for the pediatrician,
the restaurant,
the Poison Control Center,
and the medevac helicopter
in case you have to airlift
the baby to Chicago.
Mom, with all due respect
to your mothering abilities
taking care of a baby
is not that complicated.
You know, I mean, they eat,
they sleep, they poop.
Kind of like J.T.
Well, I know
it all seems very simple
but taking care of a baby
is a lot harder
than you think.
Believe me, we can handle
a night with the baby.
Okay, honey. Come on.
Let's hurry up.
We only have three
and a half hours
to be alone. Let's move.
Okay, all right,
all right. Bye, girls.
Bye, Lilly. Goodbye, you.
Bye-bye, Lilly.
Bye, Lilly. Come on.
-Come on, let's go.
Here we go.
-Bye-bye, Lilly.
-Bye-bye.
-Okay, here we go. Bye, girls.
Okay. And remember,
there are extra diapers
in the closet
- and make sure
you put her down by 7:00.
- Look at that,
Three hours
and 26 minutes now.
-Bye. Call me.
-Bye. Okay. Bye.
-Bye, Lilly.
-Call. No, we'll call you.
What's that smell?
Well...
I would say that
the baby just dropped
a diaper potato.
Gross.
Karen, relax.
This is no big deal.
One of us just takes
the baby upstairs
and changes the diaper.
Go ahead, Al.
Me? Why do I have to do it?
'Cause you're the youngest
and majority rules.
All in favor of Al changing
the baby, say aye.
Aye.
Man, what a rip.
My God, it's green!
- Madame.
- Thank you.
-Monsieur.
-Yeah.
How are you this evening?
Well, we don't have
seven little brats
hanging on us.
We're doing great.
Bon.Pierre wants everything
to be absolument parfait.
Especially for madame.
Viva la France.
Pierre, how come
it's so quiet in here tonight?
We have a, um,
little problem.
The help,
just went on strike.
But do not worry.
Pierre will make
this evening tres bon.
Well...
Frank, I didn't know
you spoke French.
Well...
I want this evening
to be tres bon.
How romantic.
Can, we help you
with something?
Yeah, you folks plan
on eating here tonight?
Well, yeah.
Well, we're striking
this establishment
for unfair business practices.
We would appreciate it
if you would take
your restaurant dollars
elsewhere.
Well, Mister...
Soupy.
Mr. Soupy, I'm real sorry
about the strike
but Pierre is a very nice man.
Yeah, so come on.
Give us a break here,
can't you?
I mean, I haven't been alone
with my wife in months.
We,
we have seven kids?
Yeah, well, we got kids too.
And you strike breakers
are taking the food
right out of their mouths.
Hey, kids, come over here
and look at the people
that are starving you
to death.
Go ahead,
take a look at these faces
and then try and eat.
-Come on, Frank.
Let's get out of here.
-Yeah, all right.
Give me those.
Go on, get back
on the picking line.
And then
Prince Charming who had
gorgeous eyes like that
tasty Val Kilmer
in Batman Forever...
...kissed Sleeping Beauty.
Who had dark,
raven hair like me.
And Prince Charming
whisked Sleeping Beauty
away to his castle
where they drove
matching Beemers
and lived happily ever after.
The end.
Well, Lilly, as entertaining
as that inane drivel
may have been,
that is not the way
it happened.
Sleeping Beauty was not
some hopeless,
bubble-headed female.
No, no.
She was an intelligent,
capable woman
who chose to sleep alone
rather than marry
some macho creep.
Prince Charming, therefore,
did not set her free
but rather condemned her
to a life of
marital enslavement
which male-dominated
society has perpetrated
since the beginning of time.
Where do you get this slop?
Feminist Fairy Tales.
It's a very important book.
What's the difference?
The baby's asleep. Let's go.
Wow. Getting her to sleep
was pretty easy.
Of course, like I told Mom,
any boob can
take care of a baby.
Nice going, boob.
Relax, we're gonna
read her another story
and she'll go
right back to sleep.
My God.
We locked the baby
in the bedroom.
All right, I see her.
She's okay. She's chewing
on her foot.
All right, this should do it.
All right, give me a hammer.
-No, Dana, come on...
-Just give me the hammer.
-Dana, I'm telling you...
-Just give me it.
We've got to get
the door open
before Mom gets home.
Okay, fine. You're crazy.
All right,
I'm just gonna...
I have to try
and loosen it up.
Nice going, Bob Vila.
Okay, okay.
I called the fire department.
They're on their way.
Fire department? Karen!
We do not need
men to help us.
We are three strong women.
We're capable
of handling this ourselves.
- Hello?
- Hi, honey.
Mom,
I'm so glad you called.
We have got a huge problem.
Give me it!
You speak, you die.
Hi, Mom.
Dana, what's going on?
What's the huge problem?
You know Karen.
Zits.
So how's dinner?
Well, we had a little
trouble at the restaurant
so we're going to
an early movie.
How's the baby?
She's fine.
That must be
the firemen.
Firemen? Dana,
what's going on?
We're watching Backdraft.
You know the...
you know the... The movie
with all the firemen
running around?
Yeah, that William Baldwin
is such a hottie?
Um, Mom, I gotta go.
All right, well,
call me if you need me.
- Will do.
- Bye.
Bye.
It's right over here.
Joy.
Here come
the big strong firemen
to save the day.
What're you gonna do?
Break down the door
with your ax?
Nope. Got a screwdriver?
Let me save you some time.
I tried that.
It does not work.
Well, sure,
after I loosened it up
for 'em.
Excuse us.
Excuse us.
This is
some romantic dinner.
We've got two and a half hours
left on our date.
Let's just relax
and enjoy the movie.
Okay.
Frank, would you
tell him to be quiet?
Well, honey,
he's coughing up a lung.
I don't think
he's doing it on purpose.
We better head home.
Looks like rain.
-What'd he say?
-Something about a train.
A train? Nobody rides
a train anymore.
Cousin Edna does.
She's afraid of flying.
Isn't that Meg Ryan?
I love her.
She was in that movie.
When Harry Met Sally.
No, the other one.
When A Man Loves A Woman?
No, no.
The one with,
what's his name?
That Forrest Gumpguy?
Yeah.
What's the name of that movie?
It's Sleepless in Seattle!
They started it.
-Is this yours?
-No.
You sure?
See, this is nice.
We're all alone on a lake
on a beautiful night?
Yeah, this is better
than a movie.
And the following preview
has been approved
for adult audiences only.
Frank! Wild animal.
You ain't seen
nothing yet, honey.
No, no, no, no,
Frank, outside.
Love al fresco, okey-dokey.
Geez!
-Honey, that's a bear.
-Duh!
Well, do something.
- What?
- Well, scare it off!
Shoo, bear!
Shoo, go, bear.
Go, bear, shoo! No!
- No.
- Not on my truck!
I just waxed my truck. Geez.
Boy, this is perfect.
Now the whole evening
is ruined.
First, the Incredible Hulk
tells me I can't eat
in my favorite restaurant.
Then Dr. Hawking Phlegm
blows lung butter
all over my hot dog
and now I got a bear
using my truck
for an outhouse.
Get out of here! God, geez!
What are you laughing at?
Well, yak it up, honey,
'cause I hope you realize
the next chance
you and I have to be alone
is about the turn
of the century.
Frank, I know we're
really desperate to be alone
but sometimes things just
don't work out
like you planned.
What are we gonna do?
There's a bear on our hood.
-Are you still hungry?
-Yeah, I'm starving.
Well, let's see
what I can do here.
Hey, Tony? Yeah,
Frank Lambert here.
I'd like to order a pizza,
a number three
with extra cheese.
You're gonna
have to deliver it
up here to Blue Ridge Lake.
I'll be the only truck
with a bear on the hood.
The point is,
the reason there aren't
more female firefighters
is that men are still
stereotyping us
as docile, domesticated,
subservient creatures.
More iced tea?
No, no.
We really should get back
to the station.
Mayday. Dad and Carol
just pulled up.
All right, everybody, out.
Out, out, out, out.
I get it, I get it.
You don't want your mom
to know you screwed up
and locked the baby
in the bedroom.
Move it, fire boy!
Girls.
Mom.
So is everything okay
with the baby?
Wonderful.
Like I say, taking care
of babies is a breeze.
Well then,
maybe you'd like to explain
why there is a firetruck
parked out front.
I can explain the firetruck.
You don't have to.
The man driving
the firetruck just did.
So is there anything that
you would like to say to me?
Come on, say the words.
Say the words.
Taking care...
Of a baby is harder
than I thought.
Thank you.
Goodnight, girls.
I hate it when she's right.
Who cares? I've got a date
with a fireman.
Well, there it is.
The last of my worldly
possessions?
Now I'm just looking
for that stairway to Heaven.
-Thanks a lot, man.
-Totally.
"Death, be not proud."
Cody, where's that guy going
with all your stuff?
Well, the way I figured,
I won't be needing it anymore.
I mean, hey, what good's
a matching set
of Elvis glasses
when you're dead?
Cody, great news,
you're alive.
Don't toy with me, dude.
It's in the paper.
They did a follow-up article
on the Cody Lambert that died.
Apparently, he was some
big war hero in World War I.
World War I?
How old was he?
Hundred and sixteen.
They even have
a picture of him.
Give me...
Well, hey, that's not me.
Wow, man.
Dude, I'm still alive!
Wow! I can sing,
I can dance.
I can play my guitar!
Right...
I need my guitar back!
help me out, man.
-I got a major problem.
-Sure, man. What is it?
I'm dead.
You mean, you're in trouble?
No. I mean, I'm dead.
Deceased.
Pushin' up the daisies.
That sweet chariot
is swingin' low
and coming forward
to carry me home.
Cody, what are you
talking about?
This. Check it out.
The newspaper ran
my obituary this morning.
I wasn't even cold yet.
"Cody Lambert
of Port Washington, Wisconsin
"died yesterday
of natural causes."
You see?
I'm on the voyage
to that final frontier
from which the Enterprise
never returned.
God!
Cody, you're not dead.
Think about it.
If you're dead, then how come
we could see you?
That's right.
Yeah, that's a good point.
Maybe I'm a ghost.
Cool!
Dude, I always wanted
to walk through a wall.
All right.
Dude, maybe St. Peter
didn't get my paperwork yet.
Yeah, hey,
this is Frank Lambert
over at Lambert Constructions.
-Dad, please.
-Yeah, Al, would you just
wait a minute, please?
Thank you.
-Have my roofing tiles
come in yet?
-Mom,
-my waffles are cold.
-All right,
just a minute, Mark.
Karen, how's this? Karen,
Karen, Karen, how's this?
Give me a minute,
would you, please?
-Mom, you missed a spot.
-Dad!
-Mom, waffles?
-Just a minute, Mark.
But, Mom, they're cold.
Give me that.
There. Now, they're hot.
All right.
Now I'm sorry, pal.
Yeah, but that's just
not gonna cut it, okay?
-Dad, permission slip.
-Yeah, okay. Hang on.
Yeah, but well, when are
they coming in anyway?
Permission slip.
Well, listen here,
that's not gonna work
'cause I'm putting
the roof on today.
Listen, I ordered those tiles
-six weeks ago.
-Permission slip.
And you promised me
that they'd be in...
Yeah, yeah,
hold on a minute, hold on.
Who are you?
I'm Brendan's friend.
Can I go to the museum too?
Sure. Why not?
-Okay, listen, you call me
as soon a they come in...
-Thanks.
...would you?
No problem, pal.
-Come on. Let's go.
-Okay, kids, come on.
-Everybody, in the car.
-Shotgun.
No, I get it.
Carol, come home for dinner.
I'll see you at 6:00.
- I can't. I have PTA tomorrow.
- Don't push me.
Al pushed you.
- Brendan's got,
Cub Scouts.
- Maybe on the weekend?
- I'll get back to you.
Yeah, you'll get back to me.
Come on, Dad.
We're late.
You'll get back to me?
Frank, Frank, this is crazy.
I mean, we have not spent
five minutes alone together
in the last month.
I know.
And it's gonna stop tonight.
You're gonna call
and cancel your PTA.
- I...
- And I'm gonna make us
a reservation
at Chez Paris
restaurant, okay?
We'll have a nice quiet dinner
go to a movie,
we'll park by the lake
and I can help you work off
some of those
post-pregnancy bounce.
Well, if I have to workout
I guess I might as well
work out on you.
Hey, Cody. How's it going?
How do you think it's going?
I'm dead.
Man, frankly,
this whole thing's
starting to bunch my shorts.
Cody, for the 100th time,
you're not dead.
Yes, I am, bro.
Dude, now I even
got documentation
to prove it, okay?
This morning I went
to my bank machine
to get out some cash,
you know,
for my cemetery plot,
my shroud,
other sundry items
I might need
in the afterlife.
Check this out. I put my card
in the machine.
Guess what it said.
You have lost your mind.
No, no, that's not it.
It said, "Account closed.
Card holder deceased."
Knock, knock, knocking
on heaven's doorknob.
Penniless to boot.
Man,
that gives me the blues.
Thank you, girls,
for taking care
of Lilly tonight.
No problem. It'll be cool.
Okay, Frank and I
are bringing
the cellular phones
so you can reach us
at any time.
And here are the numbers
for the pediatrician,
the restaurant,
the Poison Control Center,
and the medevac helicopter
in case you have to airlift
the baby to Chicago.
Mom, with all due respect
to your mothering abilities
taking care of a baby
is not that complicated.
You know, I mean, they eat,
they sleep, they poop.
Kind of like J.T.
Well, I know
it all seems very simple
but taking care of a baby
is a lot harder
than you think.
Believe me, we can handle
a night with the baby.
Okay, honey. Come on.
Let's hurry up.
We only have three
and a half hours
to be alone. Let's move.
Okay, all right,
all right. Bye, girls.
Bye, Lilly. Goodbye, you.
Bye-bye, Lilly.
Bye, Lilly. Come on.
-Come on, let's go.
Here we go.
-Bye-bye, Lilly.
-Bye-bye.
-Okay, here we go. Bye, girls.
Okay. And remember,
there are extra diapers
in the closet
- and make sure
you put her down by 7:00.
- Look at that,
Three hours
and 26 minutes now.
-Bye. Call me.
-Bye. Okay. Bye.
-Bye, Lilly.
-Call. No, we'll call you.
What's that smell?
Well...
I would say that
the baby just dropped
a diaper potato.
Gross.
Karen, relax.
This is no big deal.
One of us just takes
the baby upstairs
and changes the diaper.
Go ahead, Al.
Me? Why do I have to do it?
'Cause you're the youngest
and majority rules.
All in favor of Al changing
the baby, say aye.
Aye.
Man, what a rip.
My God, it's green!
- Madame.
- Thank you.
-Monsieur.
-Yeah.
How are you this evening?
Well, we don't have
seven little brats
hanging on us.
We're doing great.
Bon.Pierre wants everything
to be absolument parfait.
Especially for madame.
Viva la France.
Pierre, how come
it's so quiet in here tonight?
We have a, um,
little problem.
The help,
just went on strike.
But do not worry.
Pierre will make
this evening tres bon.
Well...
Frank, I didn't know
you spoke French.
Well...
I want this evening
to be tres bon.
How romantic.
Can, we help you
with something?
Yeah, you folks plan
on eating here tonight?
Well, yeah.
Well, we're striking
this establishment
for unfair business practices.
We would appreciate it
if you would take
your restaurant dollars
elsewhere.
Well, Mister...
Soupy.
Mr. Soupy, I'm real sorry
about the strike
but Pierre is a very nice man.
Yeah, so come on.
Give us a break here,
can't you?
I mean, I haven't been alone
with my wife in months.
We,
we have seven kids?
Yeah, well, we got kids too.
And you strike breakers
are taking the food
right out of their mouths.
Hey, kids, come over here
and look at the people
that are starving you
to death.
Go ahead,
take a look at these faces
and then try and eat.
-Come on, Frank.
Let's get out of here.
-Yeah, all right.
Give me those.
Go on, get back
on the picking line.
And then
Prince Charming who had
gorgeous eyes like that
tasty Val Kilmer
in Batman Forever...
...kissed Sleeping Beauty.
Who had dark,
raven hair like me.
And Prince Charming
whisked Sleeping Beauty
away to his castle
where they drove
matching Beemers
and lived happily ever after.
The end.
Well, Lilly, as entertaining
as that inane drivel
may have been,
that is not the way
it happened.
Sleeping Beauty was not
some hopeless,
bubble-headed female.
No, no.
She was an intelligent,
capable woman
who chose to sleep alone
rather than marry
some macho creep.
Prince Charming, therefore,
did not set her free
but rather condemned her
to a life of
marital enslavement
which male-dominated
society has perpetrated
since the beginning of time.
Where do you get this slop?
Feminist Fairy Tales.
It's a very important book.
What's the difference?
The baby's asleep. Let's go.
Wow. Getting her to sleep
was pretty easy.
Of course, like I told Mom,
any boob can
take care of a baby.
Nice going, boob.
Relax, we're gonna
read her another story
and she'll go
right back to sleep.
My God.
We locked the baby
in the bedroom.
All right, I see her.
She's okay. She's chewing
on her foot.
All right, this should do it.
All right, give me a hammer.
-No, Dana, come on...
-Just give me the hammer.
-Dana, I'm telling you...
-Just give me it.
We've got to get
the door open
before Mom gets home.
Okay, fine. You're crazy.
All right,
I'm just gonna...
I have to try
and loosen it up.
Nice going, Bob Vila.
Okay, okay.
I called the fire department.
They're on their way.
Fire department? Karen!
We do not need
men to help us.
We are three strong women.
We're capable
of handling this ourselves.
- Hello?
- Hi, honey.
Mom,
I'm so glad you called.
We have got a huge problem.
Give me it!
You speak, you die.
Hi, Mom.
Dana, what's going on?
What's the huge problem?
You know Karen.
Zits.
So how's dinner?
Well, we had a little
trouble at the restaurant
so we're going to
an early movie.
How's the baby?
She's fine.
That must be
the firemen.
Firemen? Dana,
what's going on?
We're watching Backdraft.
You know the...
you know the... The movie
with all the firemen
running around?
Yeah, that William Baldwin
is such a hottie?
Um, Mom, I gotta go.
All right, well,
call me if you need me.
- Will do.
- Bye.
Bye.
It's right over here.
Joy.
Here come
the big strong firemen
to save the day.
What're you gonna do?
Break down the door
with your ax?
Nope. Got a screwdriver?
Let me save you some time.
I tried that.
It does not work.
Well, sure,
after I loosened it up
for 'em.
Excuse us.
Excuse us.
This is
some romantic dinner.
We've got two and a half hours
left on our date.
Let's just relax
and enjoy the movie.
Okay.
Frank, would you
tell him to be quiet?
Well, honey,
he's coughing up a lung.
I don't think
he's doing it on purpose.
We better head home.
Looks like rain.
-What'd he say?
-Something about a train.
A train? Nobody rides
a train anymore.
Cousin Edna does.
She's afraid of flying.
Isn't that Meg Ryan?
I love her.
She was in that movie.
When Harry Met Sally.
No, the other one.
When A Man Loves A Woman?
No, no.
The one with,
what's his name?
That Forrest Gumpguy?
Yeah.
What's the name of that movie?
It's Sleepless in Seattle!
They started it.
-Is this yours?
-No.
You sure?
See, this is nice.
We're all alone on a lake
on a beautiful night?
Yeah, this is better
than a movie.
And the following preview
has been approved
for adult audiences only.
Frank! Wild animal.
You ain't seen
nothing yet, honey.
No, no, no, no,
Frank, outside.
Love al fresco, okey-dokey.
Geez!
-Honey, that's a bear.
-Duh!
Well, do something.
- What?
- Well, scare it off!
Shoo, bear!
Shoo, go, bear.
Go, bear, shoo! No!
- No.
- Not on my truck!
I just waxed my truck. Geez.
Boy, this is perfect.
Now the whole evening
is ruined.
First, the Incredible Hulk
tells me I can't eat
in my favorite restaurant.
Then Dr. Hawking Phlegm
blows lung butter
all over my hot dog
and now I got a bear
using my truck
for an outhouse.
Get out of here! God, geez!
What are you laughing at?
Well, yak it up, honey,
'cause I hope you realize
the next chance
you and I have to be alone
is about the turn
of the century.
Frank, I know we're
really desperate to be alone
but sometimes things just
don't work out
like you planned.
What are we gonna do?
There's a bear on our hood.
-Are you still hungry?
-Yeah, I'm starving.
Well, let's see
what I can do here.
Hey, Tony? Yeah,
Frank Lambert here.
I'd like to order a pizza,
a number three
with extra cheese.
You're gonna
have to deliver it
up here to Blue Ridge Lake.
I'll be the only truck
with a bear on the hood.
The point is,
the reason there aren't
more female firefighters
is that men are still
stereotyping us
as docile, domesticated,
subservient creatures.
More iced tea?
No, no.
We really should get back
to the station.
Mayday. Dad and Carol
just pulled up.
All right, everybody, out.
Out, out, out, out.
I get it, I get it.
You don't want your mom
to know you screwed up
and locked the baby
in the bedroom.
Move it, fire boy!
Girls.
Mom.
So is everything okay
with the baby?
Wonderful.
Like I say, taking care
of babies is a breeze.
Well then,
maybe you'd like to explain
why there is a firetruck
parked out front.
I can explain the firetruck.
You don't have to.
The man driving
the firetruck just did.
So is there anything that
you would like to say to me?
Come on, say the words.
Say the words.
Taking care...
Of a baby is harder
than I thought.
Thank you.
Goodnight, girls.
I hate it when she's right.
Who cares? I've got a date
with a fireman.
Well, there it is.
The last of my worldly
possessions?
Now I'm just looking
for that stairway to Heaven.
-Thanks a lot, man.
-Totally.
"Death, be not proud."
Cody, where's that guy going
with all your stuff?
Well, the way I figured,
I won't be needing it anymore.
I mean, hey, what good's
a matching set
of Elvis glasses
when you're dead?
Cody, great news,
you're alive.
Don't toy with me, dude.
It's in the paper.
They did a follow-up article
on the Cody Lambert that died.
Apparently, he was some
big war hero in World War I.
World War I?
How old was he?
Hundred and sixteen.
They even have
a picture of him.
Give me...
Well, hey, that's not me.
Wow, man.
Dude, I'm still alive!
Wow! I can sing,
I can dance.
I can play my guitar!
Right...
I need my guitar back!