Step by Step (1991–1998): Season 5, Episode 14 - Torn Between Two Mothers - full transcript
Frank is caught in the middle of a dispute between Carol and his well-meaning but overbearing mother, Helen, over the rearing of baby Lily. He wants to stay out of the argument, but realizes his marriage is more important when Helen announces plans to move to Port Washington to be Lily's nanny.
Hey, dude.
-What's up, Code?
-Hey, what's happening?
Not too much, man.
I'm looking for a job
but the only thing
I'm qualified for
is telephone sales.
So what's wrong with that?
They want me to sell
hearing aids over the phone.
No way, there's gotta be
something better than that.
Let me take a look.
Do you have
any knowledge
of word processing
or any other computer skills?
I got to level 9
on Donkey Kong.
Dude, I don't think
that's gonna get you
65 grand a year, though.
Let's see here.
College degree? No.
Responsible adult.
Don't think so.
Here's one, dude.
Check this out.
"Welcome to the exciting world
of medical technology."
"If you're willing to submit
to virtually painless
"brain experimentation..."
Look, "You can earn
up to five bucks an hour."
No way, man.
Dude, you're on your own.
I know a good job
when I see one.
Man, I'm gonna go see
if I can get my brain a job.
-Hi, honey.
-Hi.
- Look what I got you.
- Flowers?
-Yeah, and?
-Candy.
Yeah, your favorite.
Okay, what's wrong?
Come on, can't a guy
just bring his wife
flowers and candy?
And, and, and a $10 bill.
Okay, Frank, spill it.
Well, my mother's
coming for a visit...
God!
Well, honey, she just
wants to see the baby.
That's just an excuse.
The real reason she comes
is to make me miserable.
You know, I say black,
she says white.
I say high, she says low.
She contradicts
everything I say.
-No, she doesn't.
-See, you're just like her.
Well, I can't just call her up
and tell her not to come.
Why not?
Because that's her now.
You knew she was coming,
Frank, and you didn't tell me.
That's right, because
I knew you would act
exactly like this.
Yeah, well, if she starts
telling me what to do
I am not gonna be nice to her.
You just do anything you want.
-Fine. Fine.
-Fine. Fine.
-Hi!
-Hi!
How nice to see you.
I hope I'm not arriving
at a bad time.
No, no, no, no.
You're always welcome here.
- Hi, ma.
- Frank.
-How's my sweet little angel?
-Well, I'm fine.
Not you, the baby. Where's
my newest granddaughter?
Yeah, she's upstairs.
Come on in, ma.
Hey, everybody, Nanna's here!
Come on down.
They are gonna be
so surprised to see you.
Hi, Nanna.
This can't be Brendan.
You're so big. It must be JT.
Nope, it's me! And guess what.
I made the honor roll.
You're right.
You're not JT.
Hi, grandma.helen/.com.
Grandma-dot-what?
We've been exchanging e-mail.
And we've even surfed
the internet together.
By the way,
thanks for downloading
Teri Hatcher's picture for me.
I thought
it was a baseball player.
Look, Lily, it's Nanna.
My!
Come to me,
my little darling.
Hi, JT.
Yeah, Nanna's really cool.
She sends you money
on your birthday.
Only until you're 18.
Wait a minute...
You mean I'm off the payroll?
But I was countin'
on that money.
I still don't have a job yet.
Come on, you guys, go out
and get Nanna's luggage.
Bring it in.
Let them do it.
They're still getting paid.
Come on, go!
She is the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
-Well, thank you.
-Aw...
You know, um, this blanket
seems a little rough.
I know it's none
of my business,
but, what sort of
fabric softener are you using?
Light And Fluffy.
That's your
problem right there.
Mommy isn't using a liquid.
But have no fear, Nanna's here
and Nanna's going to
teach Mommy how to do
all the right things.
Al, if I did my hair like this
and got a really good tan
would I look like Pocahontas?
You're scary.
Guys.
I just signed us up
for a class that
every woman should take.
How to tell
if a diamond is real?
No.
A woman's self-defense class.
It's taught
by the police department.
I think it is
every woman's responsibility
to learn to defend herself
against an attacker.
Wait a minute, Dana.
Is this one of those classes
where you learn
how to kick a guy in the groin
and bring him to his knees?
-Yeah.
-Cool, I'm in.
All right!
I don't know. This doesn't
sound like much fun.
Karen, this isn't about fun.
This is about women
standing up and saying,
"We're not gonna
be victims any more."
It's about the sisterhood
banding together and saying,
"Mess with me
at your own risk."
Will there be
any cute guys there?
Sure, it's a self-defense
class and mixer.
Man, I'm telling you,
this is gonna be
the easiest money I ever made.
Yeah, I got this great gig
being a sparring dummy
for some chick
self-defense class.
Yeah, yeah,
it's taught by the police.
They put me
in this padded suit.
I get to attack
all the women in the class
while they try
and fight me off.
Talk about
your dream job?
What are you laughin' about?
Nothing.
It was just Barky.
Okay, Lily, come on,
burp for mommy.
Carol, sweetie, you don't
wanna pat her like that.
What you wanna do is rub her
back in a circular motion
very gently, like this.
Helen, you know,
I do have some experience
in burping babies,
and the way you're doing it
just doesn't work.
There.
That was a good one.
By the way, dear,
have you, um, thought about
what sort of solid food
you want to start her out on?
Yeah, I thought
I'd start her on carrots.
Really?
Have you thought about peas?
I started Frank out
on peas and he's loved
them ever since.
Frank hates peas.
Maybe it's the just the way
you prepare them.
I'll give you my recipe.
Lily's gonna
love Nanna's peas.
Not as much as you're gonna
love Mommy's carrots.
Well, how are
my three favorite girls?
Frank,
I'm so glad you're here.
Carol and I
are just discussing
what sort of solid food
to start the baby out on.
Yeah, Frank, I think
she should start on carrots,
but your mother thinks
she should start on peas.
What do you think, Frank?
Yeah, what do you think?
What do I think?
Why, why not both?
Why not both?
All goes down the little tube
and ends up
in the diaper, anyway.
Look. You got a letter
from the babysitting
service, honey.
A babysitter?
You got six kids.
What do you need
a babysitter for?
Well, I need someone
to look after Lily
when I go back to work.
You're going back to work?
Frank, you're not gonna
let her go back
to work, are you?
- He is not letting me
do anything.
I want to work. I like
to work. Tell her, Frank.
she loves to work.
And, and I love her.
Yeah, but I love you too.
I just love everybody.
All I'm saying is,
I don't feel good
about your going back to work
and having
my little granddaughter
raised by a complete stranger.
Come on, darling.
You and Nanna are gonna go
for a little walk.
Hmph.
Well, Uncle Frank,
I'd hate to be in your shoes.
Well, I don't blame you, Cody.
Who'd want to be
caught between
his mother and his wife?
I didn't mean that. I mean,
I hate those shoes, dude.
I mean,
yeah, you know.
Well, sure,
that wife-mom thing
is a drag, too, I guess.
-Yo, Codeman!
-Hey, hey, hey!
It's Nanna-Nanna-Bo-Bana!
If I had a book,
I'd give to grandma.
I love her more than
green eggs and ham-a.
What've you been up to?
Well, I have just
finished rewashing
all of Lily's clothes
with the new fabric softener.
Man,
Nanna's fabric softener!
Gotta love that?
I'm glad you said that.
I did your sheets too.
Buddy!
You're the best Nanna
in the whole world.
I'm gonna sleep
like a baby tonight. Dude.
Dear.
Frank,
after I have finished
putting away Lily's clothes
I'm gonna make you a big pot
of your favorite pea soup.
Yeah, ma, ma, listen.
I, I think we need
to have a little talk.
If it's about Carol going back
to work, I was wrong.
- Really?
- Yes.
If she she wants to work,
that's her choice.
Well, I'm really glad
to hear you say that.
And I'm sorry
that I acted so emotionally.
It's just that I...
Well, I really
couldn't handle the thought
of some stranger taking care
of my little Lily.
Well, you don't have
to worry about that.
But I do.
And that's why I have decided
to move to Port Washington
and be the baby's
nanny myself.
Great!
I knew you'd be pleased.
I'll let you tell Carol
the good news.
She'll flip.
I'm a dead man.
All right,
everybody on your feet,
and pretend
you're being grabbed at
by an imaginary male attacker.
Now remember, it's elbow,
stomp, flip, punch!
Ready? Go!
Excuse me. Paula Abdul!
This is a self-defense class,
it's, not Dance Fever.
I'm just trying to give it
some pizazz.
There's no pizazz involved
here, sugar-britches.
It's all about survival.
That means fighting dirty.
That's bitin', scratchin',
crushin' windpipes
and kicking groin.
Yes! Empowerment!
Now I think
it's time we practiced
on a real-life dirtbag.
Lambert, get out here.
Okay, ladies.
Who wants a piece of me?
Me! Me! Me! Pick me!
What are you guys doing here?
Learning to defend ourselves
against vermin like you.
You two know each other?
Sort of.
Our parents are married.
Well, you'll have to forget
about those personal feelings
and just look at him as some
vicious lowlife scumball.
I don't think there'll be
any problem with that.
Alrighty then, let's rumble!
Ladies, take a seat.
Foster, come here.
All right, now pretend you're
walking down a dark street.
Lambert, attack her.
Hyah!
That felt great.
Now listen.
Most important thing.
Once you get a guy down,
don't let him up.
You gotta hit him like this.
Like this?
-I think she's got it now.
-Okay.
Nice job, hairball.
On your feet.
All right, ladies.
Line up. Single file.
God, I feel kind of
bad for JT.
Me too.
He looks so fat in that suit.
All right, ladies.
The next move
we're gonna practice
is something
that's guaranteed to stop
your attacker cold
in his tracks.
I call it...
Ringing the chimes.
And it goes
something like this.
That's it. I quit?
Ladies, and...
Up! Up! Up! Up!
Boy, Nanna's pea soup?
I'm telling you,
when God wants pea soup
he gets the recipe
from Nanna.
Yeah, I bet he gets a lot
of instructions from Nanna.
-Hey, Cody.
-Hey, what's up, Uncle Frank?
-Hi, honey.
-What are you so happy about?
Well, why shouldn't I be happy
when I'm thinkin' about
getting my wife
a new Cadillac?
You didn't talk
to your mother, did you?
Yes, I did.
And she actually apologized
for even suggesting
that you quit your job.
So what'd she say
about the nanny?
That's where
the Cadillac comes in.
Honey, she wants to move
to Port Washington
and be the baby's nanny.
God, you said no,
didn't you?
Well, I didn't say yes.
I guess I'll just be
moseying on my way now.
No, no, no.
Cody, you sit here.
I want Frank to know
this is not just my problem.
What do you think
of a 45-year-old man
who still can't stand up
to his mother?
-Well, I guess
he'd be kinda...
-Immature? Exactly!
Even a four-year-old
would have more
guts than that.
So what do you think
when he can't back up his wife
on a decision
they made together?
-Well, I suppose that...
-He's spineless? Exactly!
In fact, he's practically
a jellyfish.
So what do you think
this man should do?
Well, I guess he should...
Tell his mother she should
get her nosy butt
out of his house?
I could not agree more.
You know, Frank, I had
a few things I wanted to say
but I think Cody
pretty much said it all.
I'm sorry I had to be so hard
on you, Uncle Frank.
It's not your fault, Cody.
Carol's right. It's time
I stood up to my mother.
Thanks, grandma.
Mom never lets us
have ice cream before dinner.
Well, you're in luck.
Nanna's in charge this week.
Hey, you guys, come on.
Let's go outside.
There's this awesome
solar eclipse happening.
Cody, it's night-time.
Yeah. Well, that's what
they want you to think.
Come on, you guys.
I'm just trying to get you out
of the line of fire.
What's going on?
Mom, um, we really
do need to talk.
What about?
Well...
...you can't be
the baby's nanny.
Why not?
Well, you're the nicest person
in the world
and I love you, but...
Well, how would you
feel if somebody came
into your house
and told you what kind of
baby foods to feed your child
or what kind of
fabric softener to use?
Or just everything about
how to raise your kid?
-But I'm only trying to help.
-I know.
I know you are, but...
...when you try and help
you always wanna do things
your way.
Which is fine
if you're in your own house.
But this is Carol's
house, mom.
And there can only be one
Mrs. Lambert in charge here.
And that Mrs. Lambert
is Carol.
So what you're saying is,
I am a bossy, controlling
know-it-all.
Yes.
God, I never thought
this day would come.
Come on now. I had
to stand up to you some day.
I'm not
talking about that.
What I'm talking about is
I have become
my own mother-in-law.
Granny Lambert?
She was so sweet.
She was a witch.
All she ever said was,
"You're putting in
too much starch.
"Don't overcook the potatoes.
"You don't know
how to clean the tub."
And now I'm doing
the same thing to Carol?
She must hate me.
No, ma. No.
No, Carol doesn't hate you.
She loves you.
She just, she just wants you
to lighten up.
You know, let her do things
her own way.
Well, she's right, you know.
This is her house
and she should be the boss.
Thanks, ma.
You had a very hard day.
You must be starving.
How about a bowl of pea soup?
Ma...
...as long as
we're being honest here...
Frank?
I don't mind you
standing up for your wife.
I don't mind
not being the baby's nanny.
But please,
don't mess with my pea soup.
Yes, ma'am.
Hey, guys. Where's Cody?
We were supposed to play chess
this afternoon.
He's not home yet.
It's the first day at that
new medical job he's got.
I can't believe
he's letting people
experiment on his brain.
I hope he doesn't
get messed up.
It's Cody. What's to mess up?
Hey, dudes.
What's happenin'?
Cody, what's happened to you?
It's all part
of my new job, man.
Today they shaved my head
and, stuck these wires
into my brain.
Every 15 seconds,
this little gizmo shoots
1000 volts of juice
right in the old cassava.
Incoming.
Dude, and they pay me
for this.
Talk about easy money?
Five bucks an hour?
-What's up, Code?
-Hey, what's happening?
Not too much, man.
I'm looking for a job
but the only thing
I'm qualified for
is telephone sales.
So what's wrong with that?
They want me to sell
hearing aids over the phone.
No way, there's gotta be
something better than that.
Let me take a look.
Do you have
any knowledge
of word processing
or any other computer skills?
I got to level 9
on Donkey Kong.
Dude, I don't think
that's gonna get you
65 grand a year, though.
Let's see here.
College degree? No.
Responsible adult.
Don't think so.
Here's one, dude.
Check this out.
"Welcome to the exciting world
of medical technology."
"If you're willing to submit
to virtually painless
"brain experimentation..."
Look, "You can earn
up to five bucks an hour."
No way, man.
Dude, you're on your own.
I know a good job
when I see one.
Man, I'm gonna go see
if I can get my brain a job.
-Hi, honey.
-Hi.
- Look what I got you.
- Flowers?
-Yeah, and?
-Candy.
Yeah, your favorite.
Okay, what's wrong?
Come on, can't a guy
just bring his wife
flowers and candy?
And, and, and a $10 bill.
Okay, Frank, spill it.
Well, my mother's
coming for a visit...
God!
Well, honey, she just
wants to see the baby.
That's just an excuse.
The real reason she comes
is to make me miserable.
You know, I say black,
she says white.
I say high, she says low.
She contradicts
everything I say.
-No, she doesn't.
-See, you're just like her.
Well, I can't just call her up
and tell her not to come.
Why not?
Because that's her now.
You knew she was coming,
Frank, and you didn't tell me.
That's right, because
I knew you would act
exactly like this.
Yeah, well, if she starts
telling me what to do
I am not gonna be nice to her.
You just do anything you want.
-Fine. Fine.
-Fine. Fine.
-Hi!
-Hi!
How nice to see you.
I hope I'm not arriving
at a bad time.
No, no, no, no.
You're always welcome here.
- Hi, ma.
- Frank.
-How's my sweet little angel?
-Well, I'm fine.
Not you, the baby. Where's
my newest granddaughter?
Yeah, she's upstairs.
Come on in, ma.
Hey, everybody, Nanna's here!
Come on down.
They are gonna be
so surprised to see you.
Hi, Nanna.
This can't be Brendan.
You're so big. It must be JT.
Nope, it's me! And guess what.
I made the honor roll.
You're right.
You're not JT.
Hi, grandma.helen/.com.
Grandma-dot-what?
We've been exchanging e-mail.
And we've even surfed
the internet together.
By the way,
thanks for downloading
Teri Hatcher's picture for me.
I thought
it was a baseball player.
Look, Lily, it's Nanna.
My!
Come to me,
my little darling.
Hi, JT.
Yeah, Nanna's really cool.
She sends you money
on your birthday.
Only until you're 18.
Wait a minute...
You mean I'm off the payroll?
But I was countin'
on that money.
I still don't have a job yet.
Come on, you guys, go out
and get Nanna's luggage.
Bring it in.
Let them do it.
They're still getting paid.
Come on, go!
She is the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
-Well, thank you.
-Aw...
You know, um, this blanket
seems a little rough.
I know it's none
of my business,
but, what sort of
fabric softener are you using?
Light And Fluffy.
That's your
problem right there.
Mommy isn't using a liquid.
But have no fear, Nanna's here
and Nanna's going to
teach Mommy how to do
all the right things.
Al, if I did my hair like this
and got a really good tan
would I look like Pocahontas?
You're scary.
Guys.
I just signed us up
for a class that
every woman should take.
How to tell
if a diamond is real?
No.
A woman's self-defense class.
It's taught
by the police department.
I think it is
every woman's responsibility
to learn to defend herself
against an attacker.
Wait a minute, Dana.
Is this one of those classes
where you learn
how to kick a guy in the groin
and bring him to his knees?
-Yeah.
-Cool, I'm in.
All right!
I don't know. This doesn't
sound like much fun.
Karen, this isn't about fun.
This is about women
standing up and saying,
"We're not gonna
be victims any more."
It's about the sisterhood
banding together and saying,
"Mess with me
at your own risk."
Will there be
any cute guys there?
Sure, it's a self-defense
class and mixer.
Man, I'm telling you,
this is gonna be
the easiest money I ever made.
Yeah, I got this great gig
being a sparring dummy
for some chick
self-defense class.
Yeah, yeah,
it's taught by the police.
They put me
in this padded suit.
I get to attack
all the women in the class
while they try
and fight me off.
Talk about
your dream job?
What are you laughin' about?
Nothing.
It was just Barky.
Okay, Lily, come on,
burp for mommy.
Carol, sweetie, you don't
wanna pat her like that.
What you wanna do is rub her
back in a circular motion
very gently, like this.
Helen, you know,
I do have some experience
in burping babies,
and the way you're doing it
just doesn't work.
There.
That was a good one.
By the way, dear,
have you, um, thought about
what sort of solid food
you want to start her out on?
Yeah, I thought
I'd start her on carrots.
Really?
Have you thought about peas?
I started Frank out
on peas and he's loved
them ever since.
Frank hates peas.
Maybe it's the just the way
you prepare them.
I'll give you my recipe.
Lily's gonna
love Nanna's peas.
Not as much as you're gonna
love Mommy's carrots.
Well, how are
my three favorite girls?
Frank,
I'm so glad you're here.
Carol and I
are just discussing
what sort of solid food
to start the baby out on.
Yeah, Frank, I think
she should start on carrots,
but your mother thinks
she should start on peas.
What do you think, Frank?
Yeah, what do you think?
What do I think?
Why, why not both?
Why not both?
All goes down the little tube
and ends up
in the diaper, anyway.
Look. You got a letter
from the babysitting
service, honey.
A babysitter?
You got six kids.
What do you need
a babysitter for?
Well, I need someone
to look after Lily
when I go back to work.
You're going back to work?
Frank, you're not gonna
let her go back
to work, are you?
- He is not letting me
do anything.
I want to work. I like
to work. Tell her, Frank.
she loves to work.
And, and I love her.
Yeah, but I love you too.
I just love everybody.
All I'm saying is,
I don't feel good
about your going back to work
and having
my little granddaughter
raised by a complete stranger.
Come on, darling.
You and Nanna are gonna go
for a little walk.
Hmph.
Well, Uncle Frank,
I'd hate to be in your shoes.
Well, I don't blame you, Cody.
Who'd want to be
caught between
his mother and his wife?
I didn't mean that. I mean,
I hate those shoes, dude.
I mean,
yeah, you know.
Well, sure,
that wife-mom thing
is a drag, too, I guess.
-Yo, Codeman!
-Hey, hey, hey!
It's Nanna-Nanna-Bo-Bana!
If I had a book,
I'd give to grandma.
I love her more than
green eggs and ham-a.
What've you been up to?
Well, I have just
finished rewashing
all of Lily's clothes
with the new fabric softener.
Man,
Nanna's fabric softener!
Gotta love that?
I'm glad you said that.
I did your sheets too.
Buddy!
You're the best Nanna
in the whole world.
I'm gonna sleep
like a baby tonight. Dude.
Dear.
Frank,
after I have finished
putting away Lily's clothes
I'm gonna make you a big pot
of your favorite pea soup.
Yeah, ma, ma, listen.
I, I think we need
to have a little talk.
If it's about Carol going back
to work, I was wrong.
- Really?
- Yes.
If she she wants to work,
that's her choice.
Well, I'm really glad
to hear you say that.
And I'm sorry
that I acted so emotionally.
It's just that I...
Well, I really
couldn't handle the thought
of some stranger taking care
of my little Lily.
Well, you don't have
to worry about that.
But I do.
And that's why I have decided
to move to Port Washington
and be the baby's
nanny myself.
Great!
I knew you'd be pleased.
I'll let you tell Carol
the good news.
She'll flip.
I'm a dead man.
All right,
everybody on your feet,
and pretend
you're being grabbed at
by an imaginary male attacker.
Now remember, it's elbow,
stomp, flip, punch!
Ready? Go!
Excuse me. Paula Abdul!
This is a self-defense class,
it's, not Dance Fever.
I'm just trying to give it
some pizazz.
There's no pizazz involved
here, sugar-britches.
It's all about survival.
That means fighting dirty.
That's bitin', scratchin',
crushin' windpipes
and kicking groin.
Yes! Empowerment!
Now I think
it's time we practiced
on a real-life dirtbag.
Lambert, get out here.
Okay, ladies.
Who wants a piece of me?
Me! Me! Me! Pick me!
What are you guys doing here?
Learning to defend ourselves
against vermin like you.
You two know each other?
Sort of.
Our parents are married.
Well, you'll have to forget
about those personal feelings
and just look at him as some
vicious lowlife scumball.
I don't think there'll be
any problem with that.
Alrighty then, let's rumble!
Ladies, take a seat.
Foster, come here.
All right, now pretend you're
walking down a dark street.
Lambert, attack her.
Hyah!
That felt great.
Now listen.
Most important thing.
Once you get a guy down,
don't let him up.
You gotta hit him like this.
Like this?
-I think she's got it now.
-Okay.
Nice job, hairball.
On your feet.
All right, ladies.
Line up. Single file.
God, I feel kind of
bad for JT.
Me too.
He looks so fat in that suit.
All right, ladies.
The next move
we're gonna practice
is something
that's guaranteed to stop
your attacker cold
in his tracks.
I call it...
Ringing the chimes.
And it goes
something like this.
That's it. I quit?
Ladies, and...
Up! Up! Up! Up!
Boy, Nanna's pea soup?
I'm telling you,
when God wants pea soup
he gets the recipe
from Nanna.
Yeah, I bet he gets a lot
of instructions from Nanna.
-Hey, Cody.
-Hey, what's up, Uncle Frank?
-Hi, honey.
-What are you so happy about?
Well, why shouldn't I be happy
when I'm thinkin' about
getting my wife
a new Cadillac?
You didn't talk
to your mother, did you?
Yes, I did.
And she actually apologized
for even suggesting
that you quit your job.
So what'd she say
about the nanny?
That's where
the Cadillac comes in.
Honey, she wants to move
to Port Washington
and be the baby's nanny.
God, you said no,
didn't you?
Well, I didn't say yes.
I guess I'll just be
moseying on my way now.
No, no, no.
Cody, you sit here.
I want Frank to know
this is not just my problem.
What do you think
of a 45-year-old man
who still can't stand up
to his mother?
-Well, I guess
he'd be kinda...
-Immature? Exactly!
Even a four-year-old
would have more
guts than that.
So what do you think
when he can't back up his wife
on a decision
they made together?
-Well, I suppose that...
-He's spineless? Exactly!
In fact, he's practically
a jellyfish.
So what do you think
this man should do?
Well, I guess he should...
Tell his mother she should
get her nosy butt
out of his house?
I could not agree more.
You know, Frank, I had
a few things I wanted to say
but I think Cody
pretty much said it all.
I'm sorry I had to be so hard
on you, Uncle Frank.
It's not your fault, Cody.
Carol's right. It's time
I stood up to my mother.
Thanks, grandma.
Mom never lets us
have ice cream before dinner.
Well, you're in luck.
Nanna's in charge this week.
Hey, you guys, come on.
Let's go outside.
There's this awesome
solar eclipse happening.
Cody, it's night-time.
Yeah. Well, that's what
they want you to think.
Come on, you guys.
I'm just trying to get you out
of the line of fire.
What's going on?
Mom, um, we really
do need to talk.
What about?
Well...
...you can't be
the baby's nanny.
Why not?
Well, you're the nicest person
in the world
and I love you, but...
Well, how would you
feel if somebody came
into your house
and told you what kind of
baby foods to feed your child
or what kind of
fabric softener to use?
Or just everything about
how to raise your kid?
-But I'm only trying to help.
-I know.
I know you are, but...
...when you try and help
you always wanna do things
your way.
Which is fine
if you're in your own house.
But this is Carol's
house, mom.
And there can only be one
Mrs. Lambert in charge here.
And that Mrs. Lambert
is Carol.
So what you're saying is,
I am a bossy, controlling
know-it-all.
Yes.
God, I never thought
this day would come.
Come on now. I had
to stand up to you some day.
I'm not
talking about that.
What I'm talking about is
I have become
my own mother-in-law.
Granny Lambert?
She was so sweet.
She was a witch.
All she ever said was,
"You're putting in
too much starch.
"Don't overcook the potatoes.
"You don't know
how to clean the tub."
And now I'm doing
the same thing to Carol?
She must hate me.
No, ma. No.
No, Carol doesn't hate you.
She loves you.
She just, she just wants you
to lighten up.
You know, let her do things
her own way.
Well, she's right, you know.
This is her house
and she should be the boss.
Thanks, ma.
You had a very hard day.
You must be starving.
How about a bowl of pea soup?
Ma...
...as long as
we're being honest here...
Frank?
I don't mind you
standing up for your wife.
I don't mind
not being the baby's nanny.
But please,
don't mess with my pea soup.
Yes, ma'am.
Hey, guys. Where's Cody?
We were supposed to play chess
this afternoon.
He's not home yet.
It's the first day at that
new medical job he's got.
I can't believe
he's letting people
experiment on his brain.
I hope he doesn't
get messed up.
It's Cody. What's to mess up?
Hey, dudes.
What's happenin'?
Cody, what's happened to you?
It's all part
of my new job, man.
Today they shaved my head
and, stuck these wires
into my brain.
Every 15 seconds,
this little gizmo shoots
1000 volts of juice
right in the old cassava.
Incoming.
Dude, and they pay me
for this.
Talk about easy money?
Five bucks an hour?