Step by Step (1991–1998): Season 4, Episode 19 - She Came in Through the Bedroom Window - full transcript
Cody is told by his professor he uses the word dude too much when giving a talk. He comes up with a plan to stop him using the word, with the control going to Dana. She zaps him with electricity every time he says the word and she is loving it. Frank is putting in a window for one his old girlfriends but he hasn't told Carol. This is happening just as Carol is feeling insecure over the size she has grown to and, when she finds out, she is very upset.
Hey, step-babes.
Hey.
I'm glad you guys are here.
Check this out?
Cody, if that outfit means
that you are going
on a suicide bombing mission,
I just want you to know
you have my full support.
Well, thanks.
But, no, this isn't a bomb.
This is an experiment
for my public speaking class.
See, I was given a speech
on my favorite topic,
adult children
and sideshow freaks.
Well, the Professor dude
stopped me and said
I use the word dude too much.
Dude, can you believe that?
Well, Cody, that's
just the way you talk.
That's what I told the dude,
you know?
He said it was
like a verbal tic.
And unless I stopped
using the word "Dude,"
I'd never be
an effective speaker.
Dude.
Cody, this is all
very fascinating
but it still doesn't explain
why you're wearing
that high-voltage vest.
Simple.
Shock therapy.
Yeah.
These batteries right here.
They're connected
to two electrodes
that I super-glued
to my butt.
All I need is someone
to zap me with a big bolt
of electricity every time
I use the word "Dude."
So, any volunteers?
Me! Me!
Pick me.
All right.
Now, Dana-man,
I know you're just trying
to be a friend here,
but this is gonna be
a tough job, okay?
Every time I say the word
"Dude," you gotta zap me
with a big bolt
of electricity no matter
how much pain I'm in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it.
Where's the trigger?
This button over here.
Like this?
Right.
But only when I
use the word, "Dude."
Dude, that hurt.
Cool.
Damn.
-Give me the ball!
-No!
Help! I'm pregnant
and I can't get up.
Great. Shamu
beached herself again.
Boys, the next one
who does a fat joke
gets his head shaved
when he's sleeping.
Now, come on.
Help me up.
How're we gonna get her up?
I don't want
to pop her hernia.
Wait, I've got it.
We'll just rock her
back an forth like a car
stuck in the snow.
Cute, Mark.
On three.
One, two, three.
Hi, boys.
Raising the Titanic
again?
Yeah.
I need to go ice my shoulder.
I think I blew out
a rotator cuff.
I'm getting
a little tired
of being the butt
of everyone's jokes
around here.
I have to admit, honey,
your butt's
a pretty big target.
Upsy-daisy.
There.
-Thank you.
-I know you can.
Listen, I'm just teasing you.
I think you look beautiful.
Yeah, well, I don't
feel beautiful.
I feel like a big tub of lard.
Carol, you're
eight months pregnant.
You're supposed
to feel like a tub of lard.
Excuse me.
I meant a beautiful tub
of lard, honey.
A sexy tub.
It doesn't even have
to be a tub. It can...
Shut up, Frank.
I don't know.
Do you really think
it's possible for Cody
to stop saying "Dude?"
Dana's already zapped him
about 5000 times.
If he doesn't stop soon, we're
gonna have to put a light bulb
in his mouth.
You know, I'm simply
trying to help the boy.
Good morning, du...
Duly appointed friends
and family.
Good thinking, Cody.
You saved your butt
on that one.
Dude, tell me about it.
Guess I won't be
needing that morning
cup of coffee?
Cody, why don't you have
something to eat so you don't
have to talk so much?
Here, have a blueberry muffin.
Blueberry muffin.
I love blueberry muffins.
Dude.
I gotta find
another word to use
when I get jazzed up
about my food.
Hey, Barky,
what are you, deaf?
He said, "food!"
Not "dude!"
Hey, Dana.
You know, far be it
from me to be picky, bu...
Hey.
When JT uses the "D" word,
do I still
got to get the juice?
I'm sorry.
I just really want to help you
get this monkey off your back.
You know, a lesser friend
wouldn't be able to watch me
take this much pain.
It comes from love.
Yeah, right.
Cody, let's get out of here
before the Bride of Satan
gets trigger-happy again.
Good idea.
You lead the way, man.
I'm kind of seeing two
of everything right now.
Dude.
Hey, Dad. I thought you left
for work already.
No, I had to help Carol
through an emotional crisis.
Tried to put on
a pair of jeans
and blew out the zipper.
You got a message.
-Pam Marshall called.
-Be quiet!
I don't want Carol
to hear that.
Pam is my old girlfriend.
Man, what a hound.
Carol's in the shop,
so you're taking out
a loaner?
JT, what kind of man
do you think I am?
Obviously a man with needs.
Son, go wash your mind
out with soap.
I am not having an affair
with Pam.
I'm remodeling her bedroom.
It is
a professional relationship.
Then, why don't you
just tell Carol?
Yeah, son.
That's a real good idea.
Carol's here feeling
like the Goodyear Blimp
and I'm gonna tell her
I'm putting in
a fantasy bedroom
for my ex-girlfriend.
Yeah, better yet,
why don't I just tell her
I'm just shacking up
with the Laker Girls?
Except on weekends, of course,
when I'm jumping
Victoria Principal.
Poor Uncle Frank, man.
He got himself
in quite a bind there.
Dude...
Hey.
Thanks.
No. Thank you.
Coming.
Don't give up hope.
I'm coming soon.
Hi.
Hi.
Is Frank home?
No, but I'm his wife.
Maybe I could help you.
I'm his wife.
You must be Carol.
Hi, I'm Pam Marshall.
Frank's doing
a remodeling job for me.
How nice.
-Come on in.
-Thanks.
Wow, you must be
due any day now.
Well, I've actually
got another month to go.
Twins?
No. Just one.
Well, I won't take up
any more of your time.
Frank's ordering my tile
in the morning
and I just wanted to let him
know I changed my mind
on the color.
Would you mind giving him
this sample for me?
Sure. No problem. Thanks.
-It was nice
to meet you, Carol.
-Thanks.
You know, you got yourself
a terrific husband.
Well, thanks.
I think so, too.
I'm so glad you're
not bothered by the fact
that he's working for me.
Why would I be
bothered by that?
No, just because he's
remodeling my bedroom
and I'm his old girlfriend.
He did mention that.
Didn't he?
No. No, he didn't.
Well.
I'm sure that's just because
he's been so busy, you know,
tied up in my bedroom.
Not tied up
like Basic-Instincttied-up
or anything like that.
I just meant, involved.
Well, anyway, thanks
for taking that tile.
I'm sure you'll see
that Frank gets it.
Don't worry.
When Frank gets home,
he'll get it.
Lie to me.
He thinks he can keep
some skinny bimbo from me.
Honey.
I just bowled the best game
of my life.
A 256.
You no-good, lying
sack of dirt.
All right.
It was a 218.
I'm not talking
about your stupid bowling.
I'm talking
about Pam Marshall.
Did I tell you that I have
a job remodeling her bedroom?
And that she's
my old girlfriend?
Isn't that funny?
You are pathetic.
Come on, Carol.
It's strictly
a business relationship.
Yeah? Then why are you
hiding her from me?
Right, like I'm gonna
tell you I'm working
with a gorgeous woman
while you're here looking
like a tub of lar...
-I'm not helping myself. Am I?
-Not one bit.
Well, what do you
want me to do, honey?
Honey, you want me to quit?
I'm serious,
if you want me to quit
then just tell me to quit
and I'll quit.
-I want you to quit.
-I can't do that.
I have a ton of money
invested in that project.
Not to mention, time.
I've been busting my hump
in that woman's bedroom.
Yeah, Carol.
Listen, that was
a bad choice of words, honey.
I chose you over her!
Listen, when I married you,
I lost all interest
in beautiful women.
Just shut up, Frank!
Just shut up!
Hello, Frank.
I thought
you might be thirsty.
Well, what's the occasion?
Well...
you've been busting your hump
in my bedroom, so...
I thought it called
for a little celebration.
I'll drink to that.
Nice distance.
And I'm a little tired.
Here's to you
and your expert hands
in my bedroom.
I am so hot.
Are you hot?
No, I'm fine.
How about now?
Pam, what are you doing?
I want you, Frank.
I want you bad.
It's not right.
I love my wife
and I wouldn't do anything
to hurt her.
But what she doesn't know
won't hurt her.
No, Frank!
Don't bust your hump.
Frank!
I gotta get over there
right now.
Frank,
it looks great.
Yeah, well, listen,
I'm glad you like it.
I thought you might
be thirsty. Champagne?
Yeah, well, I don't usually
drink on the job, there, Pam.
Come on. Just a sip.
I want to propose a toast.
You've done
such a terrific job here.
Well, all right. I guess one
little sip won't hurt here.
Okay, now.
Watch out.
Must be an old bottle.
One for you.
There we go.
And a little for me.
Well, here's
to my new bedroom.
Cheers.
You know, Frank.
I've been thinking
about remodeling my kitchen.
Would you take a look?
You have such good ideas.
Well, I'd be glad to look.
Sure. Sure.
I'm really happy
I hired you.
You are so terrific.
Thanks.
I don't know.
I think a job like that
would take about a month.
Maybe a month and a half.
You'll want to get
new cabinets and appliances,
you know.
The first thing you're
gonna have to do
is get rid
of those dated faucets
and maybe put in
a nice "C" spout.
Yes, yes.
You really have an eye
for beautiful things.
Hey. It's my job.
You know what I'm thinking?
That, um,
you'll probably like
a nice "C" spout here
in the Jacuzzi.
No.
I'd like to have you
in the Jacuzzi.
Jeez.
Now, now, now.
Listen, Pam.
This isn't right.
Give me five minutes.
I'll make it right.
Now wait a minute. No.
Now, I'm not gonna do this.
I'm a happily married man.
What were you thinking?
Well, I figured
there was some reason
you didn't tell your wife
you were working here.
Well, of course there is.
Carol's eight months pregnant.
She feels so insecure
about everything.
I didn't want to worry her.
Right.
Well, I'm glad I didn't
throw myself at you,
or I'd be really embarrassed.
Any chance we can just
forget this ever happened?
Sure.
Thanks.
Well, I think I'll go
see my shrink now.
We've been
working on rejection.
Carol.
What are you doing here?
No.
The blackouts are back.
It must be the hormones again.
I gotta go,
so I'll see you at dinner.
Carol.
You didn't have to do this.
You can trust me.
I know, Frank, but...
my imagination
just got away from me.
Well, here I am,
I keep thinking
I look like this big blimp
and this gorgeous woman
walks back into your life
and I just figured
you'd find her
more attractive than me.
Carol, you are
the most beautiful woman
I have ever laid my eyes on.
Yeah. Even like this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
-Hey, guys.
-Hey, Code.
Hey, Code.
So, how's that,
shock therapy thing going?
Man, I've been
zapped so many times,
my butt feels
like a London broil.
Dude.
Cody.
I am so proud of you.
You went a whole hour
without saying...
What's what word
you're not supposed to say?
Cody, this is so stupid, man.
You need to say
the word, "Dude"
to communicate.
It's part of who you are.
Why don't you bag
this whole thing
and quit, bro?
I can't do that, dude.
Okay.
Changed my mind.
Yeah, JT's right.
I'm not gonna change.
Dana, give me the remote.
Winners never quit,
and quitters never win.
Give me.
Come on.
All right.
Okay.
Now, if you dudes
will excuse me,
I have to remove
a few electrodes
from a very sensitive area.
You know, you try
to help a friend
and they just give up on you.
Well, I wouldn't
worry about it, Dana.
As far as I am concerned,
you will always be
a pain in the butt.
Hey.
I'm glad you guys are here.
Check this out?
Cody, if that outfit means
that you are going
on a suicide bombing mission,
I just want you to know
you have my full support.
Well, thanks.
But, no, this isn't a bomb.
This is an experiment
for my public speaking class.
See, I was given a speech
on my favorite topic,
adult children
and sideshow freaks.
Well, the Professor dude
stopped me and said
I use the word dude too much.
Dude, can you believe that?
Well, Cody, that's
just the way you talk.
That's what I told the dude,
you know?
He said it was
like a verbal tic.
And unless I stopped
using the word "Dude,"
I'd never be
an effective speaker.
Dude.
Cody, this is all
very fascinating
but it still doesn't explain
why you're wearing
that high-voltage vest.
Simple.
Shock therapy.
Yeah.
These batteries right here.
They're connected
to two electrodes
that I super-glued
to my butt.
All I need is someone
to zap me with a big bolt
of electricity every time
I use the word "Dude."
So, any volunteers?
Me! Me!
Pick me.
All right.
Now, Dana-man,
I know you're just trying
to be a friend here,
but this is gonna be
a tough job, okay?
Every time I say the word
"Dude," you gotta zap me
with a big bolt
of electricity no matter
how much pain I'm in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it.
Where's the trigger?
This button over here.
Like this?
Right.
But only when I
use the word, "Dude."
Dude, that hurt.
Cool.
Damn.
-Give me the ball!
-No!
Help! I'm pregnant
and I can't get up.
Great. Shamu
beached herself again.
Boys, the next one
who does a fat joke
gets his head shaved
when he's sleeping.
Now, come on.
Help me up.
How're we gonna get her up?
I don't want
to pop her hernia.
Wait, I've got it.
We'll just rock her
back an forth like a car
stuck in the snow.
Cute, Mark.
On three.
One, two, three.
Hi, boys.
Raising the Titanic
again?
Yeah.
I need to go ice my shoulder.
I think I blew out
a rotator cuff.
I'm getting
a little tired
of being the butt
of everyone's jokes
around here.
I have to admit, honey,
your butt's
a pretty big target.
Upsy-daisy.
There.
-Thank you.
-I know you can.
Listen, I'm just teasing you.
I think you look beautiful.
Yeah, well, I don't
feel beautiful.
I feel like a big tub of lard.
Carol, you're
eight months pregnant.
You're supposed
to feel like a tub of lard.
Excuse me.
I meant a beautiful tub
of lard, honey.
A sexy tub.
It doesn't even have
to be a tub. It can...
Shut up, Frank.
I don't know.
Do you really think
it's possible for Cody
to stop saying "Dude?"
Dana's already zapped him
about 5000 times.
If he doesn't stop soon, we're
gonna have to put a light bulb
in his mouth.
You know, I'm simply
trying to help the boy.
Good morning, du...
Duly appointed friends
and family.
Good thinking, Cody.
You saved your butt
on that one.
Dude, tell me about it.
Guess I won't be
needing that morning
cup of coffee?
Cody, why don't you have
something to eat so you don't
have to talk so much?
Here, have a blueberry muffin.
Blueberry muffin.
I love blueberry muffins.
Dude.
I gotta find
another word to use
when I get jazzed up
about my food.
Hey, Barky,
what are you, deaf?
He said, "food!"
Not "dude!"
Hey, Dana.
You know, far be it
from me to be picky, bu...
Hey.
When JT uses the "D" word,
do I still
got to get the juice?
I'm sorry.
I just really want to help you
get this monkey off your back.
You know, a lesser friend
wouldn't be able to watch me
take this much pain.
It comes from love.
Yeah, right.
Cody, let's get out of here
before the Bride of Satan
gets trigger-happy again.
Good idea.
You lead the way, man.
I'm kind of seeing two
of everything right now.
Dude.
Hey, Dad. I thought you left
for work already.
No, I had to help Carol
through an emotional crisis.
Tried to put on
a pair of jeans
and blew out the zipper.
You got a message.
-Pam Marshall called.
-Be quiet!
I don't want Carol
to hear that.
Pam is my old girlfriend.
Man, what a hound.
Carol's in the shop,
so you're taking out
a loaner?
JT, what kind of man
do you think I am?
Obviously a man with needs.
Son, go wash your mind
out with soap.
I am not having an affair
with Pam.
I'm remodeling her bedroom.
It is
a professional relationship.
Then, why don't you
just tell Carol?
Yeah, son.
That's a real good idea.
Carol's here feeling
like the Goodyear Blimp
and I'm gonna tell her
I'm putting in
a fantasy bedroom
for my ex-girlfriend.
Yeah, better yet,
why don't I just tell her
I'm just shacking up
with the Laker Girls?
Except on weekends, of course,
when I'm jumping
Victoria Principal.
Poor Uncle Frank, man.
He got himself
in quite a bind there.
Dude...
Hey.
Thanks.
No. Thank you.
Coming.
Don't give up hope.
I'm coming soon.
Hi.
Hi.
Is Frank home?
No, but I'm his wife.
Maybe I could help you.
I'm his wife.
You must be Carol.
Hi, I'm Pam Marshall.
Frank's doing
a remodeling job for me.
How nice.
-Come on in.
-Thanks.
Wow, you must be
due any day now.
Well, I've actually
got another month to go.
Twins?
No. Just one.
Well, I won't take up
any more of your time.
Frank's ordering my tile
in the morning
and I just wanted to let him
know I changed my mind
on the color.
Would you mind giving him
this sample for me?
Sure. No problem. Thanks.
-It was nice
to meet you, Carol.
-Thanks.
You know, you got yourself
a terrific husband.
Well, thanks.
I think so, too.
I'm so glad you're
not bothered by the fact
that he's working for me.
Why would I be
bothered by that?
No, just because he's
remodeling my bedroom
and I'm his old girlfriend.
He did mention that.
Didn't he?
No. No, he didn't.
Well.
I'm sure that's just because
he's been so busy, you know,
tied up in my bedroom.
Not tied up
like Basic-Instincttied-up
or anything like that.
I just meant, involved.
Well, anyway, thanks
for taking that tile.
I'm sure you'll see
that Frank gets it.
Don't worry.
When Frank gets home,
he'll get it.
Lie to me.
He thinks he can keep
some skinny bimbo from me.
Honey.
I just bowled the best game
of my life.
A 256.
You no-good, lying
sack of dirt.
All right.
It was a 218.
I'm not talking
about your stupid bowling.
I'm talking
about Pam Marshall.
Did I tell you that I have
a job remodeling her bedroom?
And that she's
my old girlfriend?
Isn't that funny?
You are pathetic.
Come on, Carol.
It's strictly
a business relationship.
Yeah? Then why are you
hiding her from me?
Right, like I'm gonna
tell you I'm working
with a gorgeous woman
while you're here looking
like a tub of lar...
-I'm not helping myself. Am I?
-Not one bit.
Well, what do you
want me to do, honey?
Honey, you want me to quit?
I'm serious,
if you want me to quit
then just tell me to quit
and I'll quit.
-I want you to quit.
-I can't do that.
I have a ton of money
invested in that project.
Not to mention, time.
I've been busting my hump
in that woman's bedroom.
Yeah, Carol.
Listen, that was
a bad choice of words, honey.
I chose you over her!
Listen, when I married you,
I lost all interest
in beautiful women.
Just shut up, Frank!
Just shut up!
Hello, Frank.
I thought
you might be thirsty.
Well, what's the occasion?
Well...
you've been busting your hump
in my bedroom, so...
I thought it called
for a little celebration.
I'll drink to that.
Nice distance.
And I'm a little tired.
Here's to you
and your expert hands
in my bedroom.
I am so hot.
Are you hot?
No, I'm fine.
How about now?
Pam, what are you doing?
I want you, Frank.
I want you bad.
It's not right.
I love my wife
and I wouldn't do anything
to hurt her.
But what she doesn't know
won't hurt her.
No, Frank!
Don't bust your hump.
Frank!
I gotta get over there
right now.
Frank,
it looks great.
Yeah, well, listen,
I'm glad you like it.
I thought you might
be thirsty. Champagne?
Yeah, well, I don't usually
drink on the job, there, Pam.
Come on. Just a sip.
I want to propose a toast.
You've done
such a terrific job here.
Well, all right. I guess one
little sip won't hurt here.
Okay, now.
Watch out.
Must be an old bottle.
One for you.
There we go.
And a little for me.
Well, here's
to my new bedroom.
Cheers.
You know, Frank.
I've been thinking
about remodeling my kitchen.
Would you take a look?
You have such good ideas.
Well, I'd be glad to look.
Sure. Sure.
I'm really happy
I hired you.
You are so terrific.
Thanks.
I don't know.
I think a job like that
would take about a month.
Maybe a month and a half.
You'll want to get
new cabinets and appliances,
you know.
The first thing you're
gonna have to do
is get rid
of those dated faucets
and maybe put in
a nice "C" spout.
Yes, yes.
You really have an eye
for beautiful things.
Hey. It's my job.
You know what I'm thinking?
That, um,
you'll probably like
a nice "C" spout here
in the Jacuzzi.
No.
I'd like to have you
in the Jacuzzi.
Jeez.
Now, now, now.
Listen, Pam.
This isn't right.
Give me five minutes.
I'll make it right.
Now wait a minute. No.
Now, I'm not gonna do this.
I'm a happily married man.
What were you thinking?
Well, I figured
there was some reason
you didn't tell your wife
you were working here.
Well, of course there is.
Carol's eight months pregnant.
She feels so insecure
about everything.
I didn't want to worry her.
Right.
Well, I'm glad I didn't
throw myself at you,
or I'd be really embarrassed.
Any chance we can just
forget this ever happened?
Sure.
Thanks.
Well, I think I'll go
see my shrink now.
We've been
working on rejection.
Carol.
What are you doing here?
No.
The blackouts are back.
It must be the hormones again.
I gotta go,
so I'll see you at dinner.
Carol.
You didn't have to do this.
You can trust me.
I know, Frank, but...
my imagination
just got away from me.
Well, here I am,
I keep thinking
I look like this big blimp
and this gorgeous woman
walks back into your life
and I just figured
you'd find her
more attractive than me.
Carol, you are
the most beautiful woman
I have ever laid my eyes on.
Yeah. Even like this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
-Hey, guys.
-Hey, Code.
Hey, Code.
So, how's that,
shock therapy thing going?
Man, I've been
zapped so many times,
my butt feels
like a London broil.
Dude.
Cody.
I am so proud of you.
You went a whole hour
without saying...
What's what word
you're not supposed to say?
Cody, this is so stupid, man.
You need to say
the word, "Dude"
to communicate.
It's part of who you are.
Why don't you bag
this whole thing
and quit, bro?
I can't do that, dude.
Okay.
Changed my mind.
Yeah, JT's right.
I'm not gonna change.
Dana, give me the remote.
Winners never quit,
and quitters never win.
Give me.
Come on.
All right.
Okay.
Now, if you dudes
will excuse me,
I have to remove
a few electrodes
from a very sensitive area.
You know, you try
to help a friend
and they just give up on you.
Well, I wouldn't
worry about it, Dana.
As far as I am concerned,
you will always be
a pain in the butt.