Step by Step (1991–1998): Season 2, Episode 10 - Virgin Territory - full transcript

J.T. and Cody get dates with two girls with "easy" reputations, but the dates come to a halt when Cody announces he wants to wait until he meets "the dudette of his dreams." J.T. is upset at first, but later realizes Cody is right.

[instrumental music]

Admit it, boys,
the old man was awesome today.

Yeah, totally.

I was blockin' shots

hittin' the boards and playin'

some hard-nose defense.

Yeah, it sure was nice
of that brownie troop

to let you play
in their game, huh?

- Oh, Frank.
- Hi, hon.

Oh, thank goodness
I got here before you ate.

I just got the results
of our cholesterol tests



from Dr. Tyler.

Mine's 160, but yours is 273.

Well, don't worry, honey,
a little more junk food

and layin' around the house,
you'll catch right up.

[laughing]

Okay, guys. Here you go.

Bacon chili cheeseburgers
all around.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, burgers.

Hey!

Frank, you can't eat
this cheeseburger.

It's dripping
with saturated fat.

Come on, Frank, you know,
if you're not gonna deal

with your cholesterol problem

then I will. Come with me.



I wanna take you to Edna Smith's
health food cafe.

Edna Smith, honey,
she's a scrawny, pale woman

with a hackin' cough.

If I eat what she eats

I'm gonna be dead
within the week.

Frank, the doctor says
you have to do something

about your cholesterol problem.

[sighs]
Alright,
I'll go to the sprout joint.

But, if she starts combing
her legs, I'm outta there.

[scoffs]

Man, poor dad,
having to eat lunch

in a vegetarian restaurant.

Yeah, you know,
I used to be a vegetarian.

It was pretty cool, until I
found out you couldn't eat meat.

And I shined it right on.

[both laugh]

[theme song]

[screaming]

♪ The dream got broken ♪

♪ Seemed like all was lost ♪

♪ What would be the future? ♪

♪ Could you pay the cost? ♪

♪ You wonder ♪

♪ Will there ever be ♪

♪ A second time around ♪

♪ Woah-a woah-a ♪

♪ When the tears are over ♪

♪ And the moment has come ♪

♪ Say my Lord ♪

♪ I think I found someone ♪

♪ You know it will be better ♪

♪ 'Cause you're
puttin' it together ♪

♪ For the second time around ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall ♪

♪ The stronger we stay ♪

♪ It will be better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪

♪ We'll make it better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪♪

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Hey, Codeman, check it out.

Those are the sisters that just
moved into town last month.

Kellie and Kimmie Peterson.

I hear their motto is,
"Just say yes."

No way. Then they must know
Nancy Reagan.

Hey, Batlina.

Send a small soda over
to Kellie Peterson on me.

[scoffs]
J.T., the only way

you're gonna get
Kellie Peterson

is with some plastic surgery
and a breath transplant.

Schmuck.

Major harshin'
from the Dana burger, huh?

[J.T.]
Yeah.

It shows how much she knows.

I hear nobodystrikes out

with Kellie Peterson. Ha-ha!

Check this out.

Hey, Kellie. You wanna go
to movies with me tonight?

No.

Okay.

[giggling]

Kellie, why'd you say no to him?

I don't know. I just thought
I'd try something different.

[laughing]

Gee, I'd love to go out
with that cute one

sitting next to him.

Any chance you'd change your
mind so we could, uh, double?

Sure, why not?

Saying no wasn't as much fun

as I thought it would be.

Don't feel bad, cuz,
I mean, heh

every dude strikes out
once in a while.

But as
Alfred Lord Tennyson once said

"'Tis better to have
loved and lost

than never to have had
the love jones at all."

J.T. I changed my mind.

- You did?
- Yeah.

Do you guys wanna go
to the movies with us tonight?

Huh. Well, I say yes.
How about you, cuz?

I say yes. Yes, yes. God, yes.

Little over the top there,
eh, brother?

[instrumental music]

- 'Give me the sour cream.'
- 'Hey, give me a roll.'

- Get your own roll.
- Pass the potatoes, please.

Shut your face
and pass the butter.

Hey, he has more
butter than me.

Okay, here's another lobster.

Oh, Carol, I'm sorry I'm late.

Floyd screwed up
at work again today.

He put a chimney on a house
that doesn't

even have a fireplace.

Oh, wow, lobster.
What's the occasion?

Well, Verne at the fish shack
was so happy

with the remodel you did,
he sent over

an entire crate
of lobsters for us.

Well, slap a two pounder
and a tub of butter on me

and I'm a happy camper. He-he!

- Ah! What's that?
- Well..

Frank, you know, shellfish
are so high in cholesterol

so I made you
a little tofu lobster.

Isn't he cute?
See the little claws.

The little tail, little eyes.

Tofu? I don't want tofu, honey.

I want lobster.

They got lobster.

And it's really quite tasty.

It sure is.

Mmm, this is so good.

- Dana!
- Mom.

I just want Frank
to know how much

we're enjoying
the fruits of his labor.

Thank you, Frank.

Thank you for every tender

succulent morsel.

[slurping]

Give me that..
No, no, give it..

Hey, daddy.. Dad!

Mine! I built the fish shack

I get the lobster! Stop!

Frank, before you bite
into that

I just want to say one thing.

With your cholesterol,
eating that lobster

is like swallowing
a live grenade.

A live grenade
drenched in butter.

Alright.

I won't eat it.

But I do wish I had
a live grenade.

[instrumental music]

Yeah, my favorite part of the
flick was when Schwarzenegger

ripped that dude's arm off

and clubbed the other guys
with it. Ha-ha-ha!

Boy, for me, it was
the feel-good movie of the year.

So, what do you guys
wanna do now?

Hey, I got an idea,
how about, uh

we take a little drive
and check out the view

from, oh, I don't know

Suck Face Hill?

Oh, I'm sick of Suck Face Hill.

I was just there last night.

And the night before that
and the night before that.

[sighs]

Well, we wouldn't wanna break
your streak now, would we?

You know, I've got
a much more exciting idea.

I don't think anything
could be more exciting

than Suck Face Hill.

Why don't we go back
to our house?

Our parents are away.

[giggles]

That would bemore exciting.

Excuse us for a minute.
We'll be right back.

See you soon, Codeman.

Tch-yeah.

[sighs]

Yeah, yeah! We're in!

Touchdown! Tonight is the night!

Heh, you know, J.T.,
I was thinkin'

uh, maybe call it a night
and head home, huh?

Head home? Why?

Oh, you know,
it's getting kinda late

and I still got
a lot of welding to do

on my mom's birthday present.

Codeman, the girls
are practically begging us

for our bods.

And I, for one,
don't need to be asked twice.

Especially since
I've never been asked once.

Yeah, well, I'm not
going to their house, dude.

Cody, what is the problem?

You know, I'm..

I'm just..

I've never, uh..

I'm a virgin.

You're a what?

You know, I'm pure,
I'm fresh, untainted.

Tch-ya!

I have not boldly gone where
other men have gone before.

But this can't be.
You're the Codeman.

It's a law of nature.
Birds fly, fish swim.

The Codeman is nota virgin.

Tch-yeah, well, I am.

And I don't want to get,
you know

un-virginized. Tch-ya!.

What are you? Crazy?

Look, this may not make any
sense to you. That's cool.

But it's somethin' I feel
really strongly about.

Look, here's the keys to my van.

You can do whatever you want,
bro. I'm goin' home.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Another rice cake, Frank?

Oh, sure. Yeah, I'd love one.

They are tasty. Heh-he-heh.

Hey, Carol, you were right.

Daddy had food in his truck.

Good Lord!
What is all that stuff?

We entered
the perpetrator's vehicle

at approximately 8:34 p.m.

We proceeded to search--

Just tell her what we found,
cheeseball.

Four bags of Corn Nuts,
two dozen doughnut holes

'a case of Milk Duds'

a Boston cream pie
and a canned ham.

A canned ham?

Oh, Frank, you're pathetic.

Come on, guys.
Let's go check his tool box.

- He alwayshides food in there.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Hey, guys, wait, wait.

Don't touch that pepperoni!

[Frank]
'Hey, Cody.'

Hey, Uncle Frank. Hey, Carol.

Hey, pal, w-why the long face?

Oh, I don't know.

I think it comes from my mom's
side of the family, you know?

We all kinda got that Jay Leno
thing going on.

Uh, no, Cody,
I meant, you seem a little down.

Do you wanna talk about it?

Oh, yeah, I do. Hah.

But you may not wanna
hear this, Carol.

Heh, it's kind of personal.

Oh, no, I mean,
you may be Frank's nephew

but I still care
about your problems.

Well, okay then. Heh..

It's about my sex life.

Okay. Well, uh, I have to go.

Okay, pal. What's the problem?

J.T. and I went out with
the Peterson sisters tonight.

Heh. Totally awesomechicks,
Uncle Frank.

Kimmie Peterson liked me a lot.

In fact, she liked me a way lot.

A way, way, way--

Y- yeah, Cody, I'm with you.

I understand, yeah.

Kimmie likes you a way lot

but I'm not hearin' a problem.

Oh. Well, okay.

She liked me so much
she wanted to take me back

to her house and, uh..

...do the wild monkey dance.

- "The wild monkey dance."
- That's right.

I didn't wanna do that.

I'm saving myself for true love.

Uh, Cody, uh, could I
back you up here a minute

and ask you where
J.T. is right now?

Probably at the Petersons

notsaving himselffor true love.

That does it.
I'm going to the Petersons.

Wow, what a swell night
this has been.

Alright, J.T.

I'm going to ask you
a man-to-man question

and I want a very
serious answer.

Were you doin' the wild
monkey dance tonight?

Relax, dad.
Nothing happened.

Thanks to Codeman.

Kimmie was so upset
when you ditched her

that the girls just went home.

- I'm sorry, cuz.
- Hey, sure. No problem.

I'll just go upstairs
and write "Not tonight"

in my diary
for the 5000th time!

You know somethin', Codeman?
You're a real whacko.

Now, wait a minute, J.T.

that's no way to talk
to your best friend.

Oh, that's okay, Uncle Frank.

Maybe he's right.
Heh, am I a whacko?

Am I from another galaxy?
Tch-eh!

Am I totally out of touch
with reality as we know it?

Wha-what was that
first choice again?

I don't know what to do,
you know? Tch-eh!

I mean, I'm tryin' to stay
totally pure and chaste

while these nubile young foxes

are throwin' themselves
at me all the time.

Wouldn't it drive you crazy

if you had these beautiful,
gorgeous, awesome babes

like, jumpin' on you
night and day, sayin'

"Take me, take me?"
Tch-eh!

Makes me a little crazy
just hearin' about it.

Totally.

I mean, hey, I'm a normal dude.

[chuckles]
I have urges.

I read the swimsuit edition
like everybody else...you know?

But I'm tryin' to make
a moral decision here.

I wanna stay pure
for the dudette of my dreams.

Well, then do it.
I- I don't mean do it.

Uh, th-the monkey thing, uh..

- I mean, you know what I mean.
- Yeah.

I wanna stick
to what I believe in

but my best friend
thinks I'm a whacko, tch-ya!

And worst part about it

I'm beginning to wonder
if he's right.

Yeah, listen, Cody,
a lot of teenagers think

they're ready for sex,
but emotionally they're not.

Now, I personally think
it makes a lot of sense

for a guy to wait.

But you're the only one who can
decide what's right for you.

Yeah. I know, Uncle Frank.

I just gotta figure out
what that is.

Thanks.

[instrumental music]

[crickets chirping]

[laughs]

- Okay.
- Huh?

Give me the ice cream.

It's mine. I found it.

- Frank..
- Ha!

I love you, Carol, but you
try to touch my ice cream

you'll be dead
before you hit the floor.

Okay, Frank,
just put down the can

and step away
from the ice cream.

- No.
- Frank!

Ha-uh, I'm warnin' you.

I'm not afraid to use this.

Oh, you're gonna
clean that up, mister.

I don't care. It's worth it.

Frank, you gotta get
your mind off junk food.

Now, I'll tell you what,
if you come back to bed

we can play the lucky burglar.

W- well, I..

Frank, it's either
junk food or...me.

This used to be
such an easy choice.

- Frank!
- Oh, okay, I-I, uh-uh.. You.

- I choose you.
- Oh, good.

Uh, could we put a little
whipped cream behind your ear?

- Frank.
- Chocolate sauce?

No! Choc..

- No.
- Oh!

[instrumental music]

- Oh, hi, mom.
- Hi, girls. How was work?

Very interesting.

Everyone's talking about how
Cody ditched Kimmie Peterson.

Yeah? Well, why is that such
a hot topic of conversation?

Because it doesn't
make any sense.

No guy has ever turned down
Kimmie Peterson.

Well, it makes perfect sense.

Frank told me that Cody's saving

himself for true love.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Are you saying
that Cody is a virgin?

Well, why is that
so hard to believe?

'Cause 80% of the guys
his age aren't.

"Eighty percent?"
Eighty percent?

Who are all these boys
sleeping with?

I don't know.
Local girls, I guess.

How local?

I mean, like, local in this town

or-or-or, uh

local in this kitchen?

Mom, relax, I'm still pure
and Karen hasn't done it

more than 15 or 20 times.

[both gasp]

That is not true.
Mom, ask any guy at school.

I'm just a tease.

Oh, good girl.

[chuckles]

Look, mom, you've talked
to us about sex a lot.

We get the message.
We know you want us to wait.

Well, I'm not trying
to force anything on you.

It's just my opinion.

And-and-and you are certainly
entitled to your opinion.

I just wanna make sure

that your opinion

ismy opinion.

And I'm so glad it is.

Oh, my little angels.

[giggles]

[instrumental music]

[Cody sighs]

- Hey, Codeman.
- Hey, cuz.

Here's the bandage you wanted.

Oh, thanks, bro. Tch-uh.

Look..

I'm sorry I called you a whacko.

I was really out of line.

Uh, it's okay, bro.

No, no, it's not.

It's just that lately
my hormones have gone turbo

and taken over my brain.

That ever happened to you, Cody?

Tch-yeah, all the time, dude.

Yeah, it's the burden
of manhood...you know?

But that doesn't mean we can
walk around like cavemen, sayin'

"Hey, cave babe,
how about a bronto burger

and a little cave whoopee?"

[chuckles]
You know?

I know what you mean.

I'm not real proud
of the way I've been acting.

Not surprised after last night,
dad hasn't called me

into his workshop for one
of his little man-to-man chats.

[laughing]

Oh, J.T., could I see you
for a minute in the workshop?

Well, Codeman, hah,
see you in a couple of hours.

Yeah. Hang tough, dude.

- Cody?
- Oh, hey, Kimmie.

- How's it goin'?
- Okay, I guess.

Could we talk for a second?

Sure. What's up?

Um. Uh..

I was just wondering
why you took off last night.

I mean...nobody's ever
done that to me before.

Don't you like me?

Oh, sure, I like you.

Then why didn't you wanna go
back to my house with me?

[sighs]
You know,
I was up half the night

tryin' to figure things out.

And then I got up
real early this morning.

I went to the rock quarry. Heh.

And I just walked
around...thinking.

And after four hours

I came to two major conclusions.

Number one, if you're gonna be
walking around a rock quarry

wear shoes.

And number two,
I think that a dude and a babe

should hang out together,
get to know each other

fall in love
and get married, you know?

Before they, uh,
constipate the relationship.

Are you saying we could
go out and have fun

just going to the movies
or talking

and not have sex?

- Uh, well, yeah.
- And you'd still like me?

Sure.

[giggles]

Kimmie,
you're a pretty righteous babe.

Once you get that giggling
thing under wraps.

Huh!

You know, this might be
kinda personal, but uh..

...now, you might
wanna give some thought

into changing your lifestyle
a little bit.

This AIDS stuff
is really dangerous.

I wouldn't wanna see
anything happen to you.

Wow, Cody, I..

I've never met anyone
like you before.

You know, it's weird.
I hear that all the time.

You wanna get somethin' to eat?

Sure. I'm starving.

Come on over
to my Uncle Frank's truck.

- I'll make you a ham sandwich.
- Okay.

[instrumental music]

Hey, pizza guy!

Huh?

Don't touch that door!

Are you Fr..

Yes, I'm Frank Lambert.

Now, here's your money.

Plus the ten-dollar tip
I promised ya.

- Thanks.
- Hey!

What is this?
I ordered pepperoni.

A tofu pizza.

A tofu..
I gave you a ten-dollar tip.

Yeah, but, uh..

...I promised him a 20.

[instrumental music]