Step by Step (1991–1998): Season 1, Episode 17 - The Boys in the Band - full transcript

J.T. helps Al come up with a name for her band and he becomes the manager. The band gets to perform at the bowling alley where Frank just did a remodeling job. The other four girls in the band get the flu and J.T. is forced to get Dana and Karen as replacements. Since no one else is available, J.T. and Cody dress up as girls. The crowd finds out J.T. and Cody are guys and Carol saves the band by performing herself. There is a mouse loose in the house. Frank wants to kill it but Carol believes the mouse should live.

[rock music]

♪ We can ride in ecstasy ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna stop it ♪

♪ So come on baby run me ♪♪

[all cheering]

- Yeah!
- You guys are the best!

Al, you've got a great band.

Now, all you need
is a cool name.

How about,
"Chicks with Attitude?"

[all]
Yeah!

How about
"Chicks with No Talent?"



Dana, talent's not
that important.

But this band needs..

...something that will
move the audience.

That will touch them
in a special way.

You need...better clothes!

Karen's got a point, Al.

All the big groups
hire fashion consultants.

- Could we hire you, Karen?
- I'm sorry.

I made a vow,
"Never use my fashion gift

for financial gain."

Guys, we don't need
a fashion consultant.

What we need is a gig.

You guys are 12 years old.

Where are you gonna get a gig?
Mr. Roger's neighborhood?



[keyboard tinkling]

What you kids really need
is a manager.

Someone who knows
how to mold a career

someone hip and cool,
someone like me.

What a crock!

I've never heard
so much hot air.

Me neither!
We gotta hire this guy!

[all]
Yeah.

Smart move,
you guys are gonna be hot.

Stick with me,
you'll be working big stadiums.

Oh, yeah, big stadiums.
I can hear you guys now.

"Peanuts here,
hey, get your peanuts here!"

[theme song]

[all screaming]

♪ The dream wide broken ♪

♪ Seemed like all was lost ♪

♪ What would be the future? ♪

♪ Could you pay the cost? ♪

♪ You wonder ♪

♪ Will there ever be ♪

♪ A second time around? ♪

♪ Woah-a woah-a ♪

♪ When the tears are over ♪

♪ And the moment has come ♪

♪ Say My Lord I think
I found someone ♪

♪ You know it will be better ♪

♪ 'Cause you're
putting it together ♪

♪ For the second time around ♪

♪ We got the woman and man ♪

♪ We got the kids in a clan ♪

♪ Only time will tell ♪

♪ If all these dreams
fit under one umbrella ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall ♪

♪ The stronger we stay ♪

♪ It will be better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪

♪ Step by step♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪Only time will tell ♪

♪ But you know what they say ♪

♪ We'll make it better ♪

♪The second time around ♪♪

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

- Hey, kiddo.
- Hey, dad!

You been working out?
You look like a million bucks.

Speaking of money,
could you lend me some?

J.T., you owe money to half
the people in this house.

When are you gonna
stop borrowing?

Dad, I'm 30 bucks away
from a suede jacket.

Why do you need
a suede jacket?

I'm a rock and roll manager,
what I wear is important.

Suede makes a statement.

Yeah, it says
your father is a pushover.

Alright, I'll loan you
the $30, but this is it.

The bank is closed,
if you want more money

you're gettin' a job.

[laughing]
Good one, dad.

Why do I get the feeling he'll
be living with us when he's 40?

[Penny screaming]

[Carol gasps]

There's a mouse
in the beauty shop!

There's a mouse
in the beauty shop!

Somebody help me!

Don't be such a weenie,
it's just a little mouse!

Look at Carol,
she's not scared.

Yeah, yeah, c-come on,
Penny, look at Carol.

She's not scare..
Oh, look, there it is.

[Penny and Carol screaming]

Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank,
don't let it..

...goin the living room!

Oh, great, mom, thanks
for leaving the door open.

Now I've got a rodent
in the house.

Well, it might be good for you,
it might toughen you up.

The way these people
are acting, you'd think

the mouse had a hockey mask
and a chainsaw.

- Carol--
- Ah!

Honey, I'm gonna
take care of this.

Now, do you have a mouse trap?

A mouse trap, you mean
like to kill the mouse?

No, I'm gonna catch it
so I can put it on trial.

That's what mouse traps do,
they kill mice.

[sighs]
We can't kill it, Frank.

Carol, you don't want it in
the house, and you don't want me

to kill it.
What would you like me to do?

Well, can't you just catch it

and set it free?

Well, that's a good idea.

I'll drive it out
to that mouse preserve

on the edge of town.

Is this how you men
get your jollies?

By hunting down and murdering
poor defenseless creatures?

Well, there's nothing on TV.

[instrumental music]

Alright, guys,
next rehearsal's tomorrow.

- 3 o'clock.
- Okay.

Oh, this reminds me,
when I was your age

I used to sing in a band.

Did all those really great
songs. You know this one?

♪ Oh sugar doo doo
doo doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ Oh honey honey
doo doo doo doo doo doo ♪

♪ You are my candy boy.. ♪♪

Well, don't look at me
like I'm senile.

Then don't sing.

Pam, Patty,
your mom just called.

She's got the flu so I'm gonna
take you home, okay?

- Okay, thanks.
- See you guys tomorrow.

- Bye, Al.
- See ya, see you tomorrow.

Bye, Al.

"You are my candy boy?"

People actually
liked that stuff?

It was a more innocent
and stupid time.

Hey, Carol!

[girls giggling]

- Hi, Cody!
- Hello, Cody.

- Hi, Cody.
- Hi, Cody!

[giggles]

Hey, Chicks with Attitude.
Alright.

Hey, rock on, little dudettes!

- Rock on!
- Bye!

[laughs]
Tcha.

Cody, all my friends
have crushes on you.

Yeah, I know!

[laughs]

Oh, don't worry, Dana,
only one woman has my heart.

- That's you.
- Mm, lucky me.

Who's got your brain?

Wouldn't you like to know?

[laughing]

J.T., did you find us
a job yet?

Nothing, not even a nibble.

I couldn't get us a gig.

You can't get us a gig.

Great, this band
is going nowhere fast.

[sighs]
I gotta find her a job.

Hey, I got it!

Dude, I know how you can get
all the gigs you want!

You work for nothing!

Tcha.

But then how do you
make any money?

I don't know.

Hey, but they take less taxes
out that way, huh?

[chuckles]

I never thought of that!

Yeah, righteous!

[instrumental music]

Nice job on the remodel, Frank.

I especially love
that wallpaper.

Glad I thought of it.

Yeah, that's it.
Heh, you're a man of vision.

- Hey, dad.
- Oh, uh, come here, son.

J.T., I want you
to meet Sid Greco.

- Hi.
- Hi, how are you doing?

Hey, listen, why don't you guys
stick around, bowl a few frames.

Yeah, we'd love to,
but we're gonna go to a game

between the Bucks
and the Bulls tonight.

A friend of ours is gonna get us
into the locker room afterwards.

- We get to meet Michael Jordan!
- Yes!

How is that more fun
than bowling?

It's not.
Yeah, we must be nuts.

- Hey, uh, Mr. Greco.
- 'Yeah?'

I see you have a stage.
You have live entertainment?

Oh, yeah, every weekend.

Ah, well, have I got
a hot act for you.

An all-girl rock band.

Tell him how terrific
they are, dad.

Yeah, well,
they practice at my house

and I can't believe what I hear.

An all-girl band?

Hey, maybe that is
a cute gimmick.

I got an opening Sunday night.

Does that mean we got the job?

- You got the job.
- Yes! Yes! Thank you.

I gotta call Al, I thought
I'd never get her a job.

- I was looking at all--
- Here, here, here.

He-he thought he'd never
get her a job here.

It's always been a dream
of theirs to work here.

- Isn't that right, J.T.?
- Mm-hm, right.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hm.

[Al]
What do you mean you have
the flu?

You can't be sick!

The whole band is sick.

Okay, feel better.
See ya.

[sighing]

Hey, Al, check this out.

I got your new outfits
for the band.

Now you can look sharp
at your debut tomorrow night.

There isn't going to be
a debut tomorrow night.

The girls are all
sick with the flu.

They can't do the gig.

They have to, Greco already
paid me an advance.

That's where I got the money
for the outfits.

So return 'em
and give him back his money.

I can't, they were on sale,
no refunds.

Oh, man!

[sighing]
I'm dead meat!

If dad finds out I owe even
more money, he'll make me..

...get a job!

Oh, no, no, no, no.

We are dragging
your lazy friends out of bed--

J.T., they're running fevers
and throwing up.

We'll work it into the act.

They'll throw up on stage.
We'll just change the name.

Uh, we'll call you,
"Chicks Who Barf."

J.T. I'm just as upset
as you are.

- But it's over.
- Why are you saying that?

Because we have to put together

a five girl band by tomorrow
and we're four girls short!

Oh, okay, just wanted to know.

[instrumental music]

Okay. Now, cheese?

Yeah.

Okay, cheese.

[Frank]
Okay, cheese.

Okay, that's gonna do it.

Now when little Mickey
sticks his head in there

he won't know what hit him.

You know, I've been
reading up on rodents.

Of course you have.

Did you know that they have long
incisors in each jaw

for ripping and tearing flesh?

Yeah, Mark, what's the point?

My point is,
don't let him bite me!

Don't worry, I'm gonna
take care of Jaws Jr.

- Frank--
- Carol, look out!

- What, what, what?
- No, it's okay, it's okay.

It's okay.

I just put a trap.

Frank, I insist
you use a humane trap.

Like what, maybe a little sofa
so I can catch him napping?

- There he is!
- Ah!

Shh, shh, don't worry.

- Oh..
- Oh, there he goes!

- He's going under the couch.
- Oh!

Shh!

[gasps]

[Frank grunts]

Oh..

[laughs]
I got him!

Oh..

Aw, isn't he cute?

He's not cute, Carol,
he's a dirty rodent.

Okay, Frank, go ahead.
Waste the sucker.

You're not gonna kill him.
Are you, daddy?

Uh, um, no, no. No.

Here, you, uh, take him outside
and set him free.

Alright!

Ah, see, now that's
the Frank Lambert I married.

Well, I might as well
get rid of this trap.

Put it away before somebody
gets hurt. Ha-ha.

[Carol gasps]

Is he gone yet?

Oh..

Mark, is anybody in the kitchen?

- No.
- Excuse me.

[Frank screams]

[instrumental music]

Sure. Sure, I understand,
Mr. Greco.

Okay, bye.

[sighs]
He said he paid for
an all-girl band

so the band's gotta be
all girls.

Talk about inflexible! Tcha.

It's finished, J.T.
It's hopeless.

No, it's not, all we gotta do
is find some girls.

[indistinct chattering]

Close enough!

Dana, Karen, uh, listen.

My band needs girls
for the bowling alley gig.

[scoffs]
Good luck!

[both laughing]

What are we laughing at?

All you have to do
is stand right

in front of a crowd
and look gorgeous.

People will be staring at you
for two solid hours.

What a lovely way to spend
an evening!

[giggles]
I'm in!

What's in it for me?

You know this suede jacket
you like so much?

Do this and you can borrow it.

No, no. I do this
and youcan borrow it.

[instrumental music]

Dana, Karen! What are you doing
in these outfits?

They're covering
for my sick band members.

Well, where's the rest
of the band?

Oh, they're here.
Come on girls, hurry up!

What is going on?

We needed girls,
we couldn't get girls.

We're girls.

And darn cute ones,
I might add!

This is a sad day
for the Lambert men.

What are you talking about?
I'm still one of the guys.

Hey, dude, are my boobs
straight, man?

Lambert, how are you doing?

Oh, Sid. Uh, yeah, I want you
to meet Carol, my wife.

- Hi.
- Hi.

And some members
of the band, that's Al.

- 'Hi, Al.'
- Hey.

Uh, Jenny...and Kiki.

- Hi.
- Hi.

[giggling]

We should set up.
Come on, girls!

Hey, uh, where's your son?

Oh, J.T., uh, he had a date.

Yeah, well, boys will be boys.

[chuckles]
Sometimes.

Hey, uh, foxy lady.

Wha.. Wha..

[high-pitched]
Well..

I thought this band
was all little girls

but you are obviously a woman.

All woman.

Oh, how you dudes go on!

I gotta jam now.

[chuckles]

Oh, Frank, this is
just so exciting!

I mean, this could be such
a big break for Al, you know?

One night they're playing
Greco's Bowl-O-Rama

the next night they're playing--

McKay's Bowl-O-Rama.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the cloakroom

at Greco's Bowl-O-Rama
is proud to welcome..

...Chicks With Attitude!

[cheering]

I think that Kiki broad
likes me.

Alright, Port Washington,
let's rock and roll!

[rock music]

[applause]

♪ When love is a game
that's outta control ♪

♪ You drive me insane
burning my soul ♪

♪ I need a man
to take the heat ♪

♪ When it comes to good love
baby you can't be beat ♪

♪ I can't fight the fire ♪

♪ You burn me up
you feel my desire ♪

♪ I can't fight the fire.. ♪♪

[high-pitched]
Oh, no!

[indistinct chatter]

Do you know any oldies?

Hey, come on, people,
don't leave!

Hey, where are you two going,
I've got your shoes!

Okay, let's rock this joint!
One, two, three!

♪ Good lovin' ♪

♪ Good lovin' ♪

♪ Good lovin' ♪

♪ Good lovin' ♪

♪ I was feelin' ♪

♪ Whoa so bad now ♪

♪ And I asked my family doctor
just what I had now ♪

♪ I said doctor ♪♪ Doctor ♪

♪ Mr. M. D. ♪♪ Doctor ♪

♪ Now can you tell me ♪

♪ Yeah what's ailing me? ♪

♪ Doctor ♪

♪ He said yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yes indeed ♪

♪ All I really need ♪

♪ Is good lovin' ♪

♪ Good lovin' ♪

♪ Good lovin' ♪♪ All I want is love ♪

♪ Good lovin' ♪♪ All I need is love ♪

♪ Good lovin' ♪♪ Love lovin' in the morning ♪

♪ Good lovin' ♪♪ Love love at night ♪

♪ Good lovin' ♪♪ Love love ♪

♪ Good lovin' ♪♪ Love love love love love ♪♪

[rock music]

Whoo!

[applauding]

[instrumental music]

[laughing]

What a night!

Yeah, and Carol,
you were terrific.

- Oh.
- 'Hey, you're not kidding.'

Any time you wanna sit in
with my band, you've got a gig.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

I didn't know
you could sing like that.

Yeah, well, you oughta spend
more time with me in the shower.

Okay.

Hey, wait a minute, guys.
Wait, whoa..

I just got one question.

Does this dress make me
look too hippie?

No, but if you're gonna
keep wearing minis

you might wanna
get a Thighmaster.

You know, I just realized
when we were

all up there tonight singing,
I don't know

it was just like
we're all the Partridge family.

[laughs]

[all sighing]

Oh, I like that show, man,
you know.

Ben and Hoss
and Little Joe, you know?

'It's cool!'

[humming "Bonanza"]

Well, come on, J.T., I'll help
you get outta that dress.

Uh, in a minute, honey,
J.T. and I have to talk.

Yeah, well, don't take long.
I'm thinking of taking a shower.

♪ Gimme that good good love ♪♪

[Carol humming]

Sit down, son.

Uh...listen.

What did I tell you
about getting into debt?

You didn't have to ask Greco
for an advance on that salary.

Those outfits could have waited.

[sighs]
But, dad, this was
really important.

What was important,
you had to prove you were

a hotshot rock and roll manager?

It's not about that, dad.

So you were gonna make
some money managing Al's band?

I'm not making
any money for this.

Well, then, what was it?

Well, you know, Al, she really
loves to play the drums

and she really wanted
her band to get a gig.

And those outfits were so cool--

Wait, wait a minute, now.

You're telling me you did
this whole thing just for Al?

Yeah, but don't make a whole
mushy thing out of this, okay?

Hey, I think it's very nice.

I, I didn't know you looked
out for her that way.

Hey, I'm her big brother.

It's what a big brother's
supposed to do, right?

J.T.?

You're the best big brother
in the world.

Aw, a hug, just what
I was trying to avoid.

You're also the ugliest
big sister in the world.

Y- you know, J.T., if you and
Cody are gonna stay in the band

I got a good name for you.

Chicks With Facial Hair.

I got facial hair?
Alright!

[instrumental music]

[theme music]