Station 19 (2018–…): Season 5, Episode 17 - The Road You Didn't Take - full transcript

♪ Feel a change in the weather

♪ There's a bite in the cold

♪ This I know

♪ This I know

♪ There's a tear
in the leather ♪

♪ There's a crease in the fold

♪ This I know

♪ This I know

Luisa, hi.

Where are you?

On the I am. Stop it.



No, I'm on a mini road trip
with a friend.

A chance to clear my head.

I should be home tonight.

Good. Spoke to your union reps
this morning.

Long story short, they've
agreed to let your colleagues

testify as
character witnesses at trial,

which is a huge win,
all things considered.

Hm.

We have two very different
perspectives on huge wins.

I'm on trial
for defending myself

against a sexual predator,

and my friends are allowed to
say I'm a good person?

That's a hell of a prize.

A predator who was also
a fellow a firefighter



who can't stand trial
for what he did to you,

because he's dead.

And whose fault is that?

This is very good
for your case.

The union could have followed
the department's lead on this

and stayed on the sidelines,

but they're supporting you
out loud.

We'll talk later.

Sure.

Okay, back to "Little Orphan
Jack Gets A Brother" road trip.

I got snacks.
Why do you look like that?

I know I shouldn't have left you
in charge of snacks.

Pork rinds, seriously?

I wonder if my soon-to-be
brother likes pork rinds.

Might want to put that
on the list, actually.

What list?

I made a list

of, you know,
fun facts about myself,

so that we can
compare things we like.

You know,
like food or music.
Oh.

I've been reading a book
on fetal development,

and it turns out that
preferences start in the womb,

I guess, and I figured,
since we shared the same one...

Wait, wait, wait. Why are you
reading a book about wombs?

Beca...

It's just
a really good read.

I'll let you borrow it
when I'm done.

You'll love it.

Ooh, it smells good.

Dad's making us breakfast.

Look.

Dad?
It's a nickname.

Get with the program.Ahh.

This is
a celebratory breakfast,

because we sign Pru papers
tomorrow.

Yes! Yes!
What?

Yeah, man. Alright!

I smell bacon.
What are we celebrating?

Pru papers!
Pru papers!

No! No! Yes!

When's the party?

Soon, soon.

Now, who wants scrambled eggs
and who wants over easy?

I'm...

I'm gonna go
set up the clinic.

Okay, I'll be right down.

Breakfast is
just about ready.

You know, when my dad died
in the line of duty,

one of his teammates
took me under his wing.

Saved my life.

It's really cool what
you and Miranda are doing.

Appreciate you, man.Yeah.

Thank you. Uh, hey, can you
put this on the table for me?

Yeah.

So are we telling people
why eggs make you sick?

Because I'm on hormones.
I don't know.

Are we?

Well,
conventional wisdom says

that we wait until
you're pregnant.

And then wait
until the first trimester.

Right. But everyone knew
we were looking at donors,

and we were all out
the same day.

I mean, do you think people
suspect it's Jack?

I doubt anyone would

fathom that
you'd let that happen.

Okay, then maybe we should
talk to him first.

And for the record,
I don't believe in

the whole "wait until
the first trimester" wisdom.

I think it's just
some patriarchal holdover

to stop women from
leaning on each other

in case of miscarriage.

Oh, my God.

What?
The... The green card interview.

It's in three weeks. Finally!

It only took a year.

Oh, so many reasons
to eat bacon.

Yeah.

Morning.

I hope I'm not disturbing
your morning meditation there.

Just reading about
the curious track record

of our prospective mayor.

You know, I haven't
been here that long,

but I do know that Michael Dixon
would be a poison to this city.

Ah, a common enemy
unites us.

You know, Sean, I haven't...

I haven't apologized
to you properly.

Well, thank you,
but no need.

What happened was between me
and my team, and we're good.

Good, then.
Good.

You plan on making an appearance
at every clinic day, chief?

Or just the ones
where Fire Zaddy's working?

I like to show support
to all my stations.

I'm heading over to 88
for a car wash after this,

and you make
one more comment like that,

I'll write you up
for insubordination.

Got it?
Got it.

Morning.

- Morning, 19.
- Morning, Chief.

Hey, uh, we've got
a breakfast spread

in the beanery
if you're hungry.

No, thank you, Warren. I already
had my morning protein shake.

Happy clinic day,
everyone.

- Yay.
- Yeah, the last one was great.

Hopefully this one's
gonna be even better.

Bishop, Warren, and DeLuca,

I would love it if you'd walk me
through the med stations later.

There's a board meeting
next week,

and I'd like to more
fluently talk about the work

that you all are doing here, see
if we can expand the program.

You know, I can show you
through the check-in process

with all the patients
if you want.

We can do everything later.
Thank you.

Alright, it's a road trip
and the radio's broken,

so I'm gonna start singing
or we're gonna start talking.

You're nervous
about meeting your brother.

It feels weird to even say
the word "brother.

You know, I mean,
Miller was my brother.

Warren's my brother.

Me and this guy,
we just share the same DNA.

Yeah, but still,
it's a piece of the puzzle. Yeah, I guess.

I hadn't really considered
I'd ever meet

someone
from my bio family.

Never?
I mean, I knew they probably existed.

I guess I just didn't allow
myself to... think that far.

Mm.

But now that
I found out about him,

it's like
all I can think about.

I wonder if we...
looked alike when we were kids,

or, um...

if he grew up
the way I did.

You know, I hope he didn't,

but if he did,
it might be nice to...

have someone who gets it.

Finally. Well, whatever happens,

if he's an ass or you just
don't want to be there,

we leave, alright?

No questions asked, okay?

Thank you.

You're pretty family-smug

after that reunion
with your mom.

For the past two years,

I swore I never wanted to
see her again,

but then I saw her...
there at my front door.

And instead of yelling
or screaming, I just...

I was just happy
to see my mom.

Hmm.

It's like... It's like
all my life,

without even knowing it, I've
been trying to do this puzzle,

but I just never could.

And I kept
getting pissed at myself,

like,
"What is wrong with me?"

But it wasn't me.

I just didn't
have all the pieces.

I hate puzzles.

Terrible at them.

I'm gonna put that on
the list... "hates puzzles."

Yeah.

Okay, so when you get
your green card,

are we gonna have, like,
a big burgers, beer, and bald eagles party?

No, that's
after the citizenship,

which is still
gonna take a few years.

Seriously? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember
when my mom took her test.

She was drilling me on
presidents' middle names.

I would never have
passed that test.

I'm honestly just happy to be
able to leave the country again.

Okay, so, the two of you. How
is it going working together?

Um, I...

It's pretty perfect.

Crisis One requested
to 778 Mulberry Drive.

Oh, that's me. That's me.

- You too?
- You too?

Okay, okay. Let's go.

Look, if you grip that wheel
any harder, you might break it.

We're 10 minutes away,

and I have no idea
what to expect.

I feel like my stomach
is sweating.

Yeah, yeah.
I know the feeling.

'Cause you might
go to jail?

Wow, that is not... Oh, sorry, alright?

I'm too anxious to edit.

Let's scream.
Let's scream it out.

Seriously?
Yeah.

We're both drowning
in anxiety.

We can't meet your brother
like this.

We'll make
a terrible impression.

We gotta...
We gotta get it out.

Yeah, let's do it. Yeah?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah? You ready?

Mm-hmm.

Count of three.
Okay.

One...
On three?

Yes. One.

Two.

Hi, there. 19?

Yeah, that's us. I'm Clarke Wright.

Social worker,
Crisis One volunteer.

Alright,
I'm Lieutenant Ruiz.

This is Hughes.
Do we know what's going on?

Neighbor
called in a domestic dispute.

I cannot believe that you are
buying into this hateful crap!

Come on!
You've taken my child, Bryan!

- Excuse me.
- Oh, thank God.

Okay. Please.
This is my ex-husband,

and he has
taken our child.

We live in Florida,
and he has taken my daughter.

He has kidnapped her.

She is not...
He is not...

Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Sir, you need to back up, okay?

- But you don't understand.
- Alright, sir, please.

They left in the middle
of the night a few days ago,

and, um, I had to track them
down using my daughter's phone.

And I am worried sick.

It's okay. It's okay.
What's your daughter's name?

Mary.
Her name is Mary.

No. You've got to be
kidding me.

It's not Mary.
My name is Matt.

Do you hear me, Mom?

My name is Matt.

Hey, what color's
my toothbrush?

If they ask me that,
I'm gonna get deported.

Turquoise,
and yours is pink.

There's something
a little wrong with you.

You know that, right?

Is that seriously part
of the green card interview?

Yeah.
Ridiculous, right?

Don't you think it's stupid,

all the effort
and resources funneled around

things like keeping
foreigners like Carina

out of this country
when things like healthcare

and schools
and public transportation

and the minimum wage
and just, I don't know,

all of it, is just, like,
"You guys figure it out."

Absolutely. But we don't
make those decisions.

Yeah, you're right.
The Dixons of the world do.

Ah.

Is this where
the clinic thing is?

Yeah, we're just
about to open up.

How can we help you?

Leg's been harder
and harder to walk on.

Thought I should
have it looked it.

Well, you came to
the right place.

Why don't you follow us

and we'll see
if we can figure it out.

There's more in the back.

- You brought your medals with you?
- I don't know who I'm meeting.

He could be some super wealthy
Bruce Wayne-esque type orphan.

I want him to know that
I made something of myself, too.

Don't look at me
like that.

You didn't Google him?

What? No.
I don't Google.

I wouldn't want him
to do that to me.

I want to meet him,
you know, clean,

like an honest
first impression.

I hate people who Google people,
honestly.

I'm putting that
on my list.

"Healthy sperm snacks"?

There's protein bars
back there.

Jack,
what the hell is this?

It's...
It's bananas.

It's dried bananas,
dark chocolate, pumpkin seeds.

Yeah, I see that. Walnuts,
and there's Brazil nuts.

Those are really good
for you.

Pretty much everything else
about me is pretty healthy.

I just wanted to make sure my
little guys were healthy, too.

Okay, we did not want people
to find out this way.

"We"?
Yes.

Carina and Maya
are trying to get pregnant,

and I might have
contributed to the process.

Jack, we had a pact.

I didn't sleep with Carina
or anything.

I did it in a receptacle,
like a cup.

Jack, we had a...

We had a pact
to not get into

any complicated
or messy relationships.

It's not complicated, messy,
or a relationship.

No?
No, it's not.

We even talked about it
to the point where

I almost didn't
want to do it anymore

just to stop the talking.
It's not messy.

You don't think potentially
being the baby daddy

for your friend/ex/coworker
is complicated?

It may be a little complex,
but not messy.

Okay. I guess.

I mean, if...
if you're happy.

Yeah, I'm happy.

We had a pact,

and I still flirted and danced
and kissed Jeremy.

Hold on, okay?

No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to make this about me.

No, honestly. I am...
I am thrilled this is about you.

No, I just...

We made the pact because
I always... pick bad guys.

No.

Andy, what...

what Jeremy did was not
because you pick bad guys.

It's not.
It's because he's a predator.

End of sentence.

I just...

I know. I know.

- But if I hadn't broken the pact...
- Andy, stop.

Look at me. Look at me.

Nothing that happened
was your fault.

Nothing.

It is not your fault,
you understand?

I didn't mean it.

I don't always
pick bad guys.

Well...
we're almost there.

Hey.
Oh, thanks.

So, uh, is there a reason

the chief gave you
the cold shoulder?

What are you
talking about?

We gonna play it
like that?

Look, she asked Bishop,
DeLuca, and I

to show her around the clinic
and not you?

She basically pretended like
you weren't even in the room.

Well, because you and DeLuca
are the doctors.

Yeah,
but Bishop isn't.

Is it 'cause of
that thing with Beckett?

You accusing him of drinking
when he wasn't?

Yeah. That's...
That's probably what it is.

Alright, look.

We were in the corps together,
years ago.

We haven't seen each other
since then, but that bond...

That bond goes deep.

She promoted me because
she trusts me, plain and simple.

I think she just
doesn't want anybody

to read into that
the wrong way.

That's why she's being
overly formal these days.

So it's, um...

It's not because you're trying
to become captain

by taking down an innocent man,

and she has egg on her face
because she trusted you?

Beckett's not innocent.

But he was clean.

That day.

Sorry. It just hurts.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

A-Are those my toes?

Those are your toes.
Warren!

Oh.

Oh.

Erroll, is it?
I'm Dr. Warren. Erroll, are you diabetic?

Not sure.
I... I don't think so.

My toes started
to turn a while back,

but I just thought
it was my bad circulation.

Can you feel that?

No.

Bad circulation is right.

Can I take a look
at the other foot?

Ahh.

Yeah. This is diabetic
neuropathy and foot disease

until proven otherwise.

We need to get you to Grey-Sloan
as soon as possible.

No, I don't have insurance.

Ah-ah. We'll worry
about that later.

Right now, you just need to
not lose any more toes.

Ohh.

Okay, Jack,
I know you're nervous,

but we didn't
drive three hours

for you to just
stare at the house.

This looks really nice,
right?

Yeah.

Like, what do you
think he does for a living

to afford a house
this nice?

Alright, I'm ringing
the doorbell.

No. A-Andy.

Hi.

Jack.

Hey, uh...

Wow.
Yeah.

Huh!

Nice to, you know...

I'm s...
This is weird, man.

For sure.
I'm sorry. Yeah.

I'm Joshua.

Josh. Joshua.

Nice to meet you,
Joshua Josh Joshua.

I'm... I'm Andy.

I'm...
Wife.

No.Girlfriend.

Uh, oh... Not girlfriend. Just a friend.

Like a regular,
really good friend.

But almost ex-fiancee...

Cool.
I mean, we...

- We work together.
- We work together.

Yeah, firefighters.

Wow.
Yeah.

I should have you guys
take look at my smoke alarms.

Do you guys want to...?

Oh, yeah.
Cool, cool, cool.

Let's go around
to the back.

Oh, okay.Okay.

My family's inside.
They're loud.

Right... Right this way.

Okay.
Excuse me.

Oh.
Sorry.

Listen, it's gonna
be okay, all right?

When we divorced,

she threw her
World's Best Mom mug at my head.

Should have realized then.

Oh, you just love telling
that story, don't you?

Such symbolism.

Always the victim.

He told us who he is.

Our son told us
who he is.

Why can't you listen?

She's a child!

She... She doesn't know
anything yet.

He told us who he was
a few years ago,

and Jane just freaked out.

She signed him up
for a beauty pageant.

I should have taken him away
right then, but...

she's his mom,

and I thought
she would come around.

It would have been nice
to be navigating this

with someone
who got how I was feeling.

You know, someone who was going
through the exact same thing.

Trying to parent a kid

in a world that is committed

to rejecting him
at every single step?

It's hard.

Oh, crap.

Randall, honey.
Thank God.

Jane, what the hell?

Where is he?

You are scaring
my neighbors.

Well, what did you think
would happen?

You kidnapped
our daughter!

You're not my dad!

He's not your child.

Don't make me go back,
please.

Okay.

It's all right,
it's all right.

It's alright.

Hey.
Lieutenant Sullivan, can I help you?

I'm just saying hi.

Didn't we do that
when I got here?

Pictures, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I want to have
a photographer here again

on the next clinic day,

but these will have to do
for the board meeting.

I want them to have
a clear picture of

how... how busy it's getting
with word spreading.

See if we can get
more funding.

Hey.
Hi.

Heard you got
your interview.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

So you still don't like me,
huh?

I did not say that.

You're Italian, so
your body language says it all.

Is the new chief
mad at you?

Why would you say that?

I'm Italian.
I pick up on body language.

You just said that.
Ha-ha.

Okay, alright. You planning
any more of your moves?

Moves?

You got Maya demoted,
then you got a promotion,

then you reported Beckett.

You're talking to Warren,
right?

I just want to make sure
that none of your future moves

involve my wife,
because we're about to...

We... are...

...making a life here,

and a family, and it's important
for me that she's happy.

None of the things you just
mentioned are moves, okay?

They're just me looking out
for the team that I care about.

Mm.

You guys...
You guys thirsty?

Oh, uh, thanks.
Wow.

Yeah. That looks great.

Yeah.

Pitcher with the sliced lemons.
Very fancy.

That's how we do.

What do you do?

Not to be rude, but...

Oh, it's okay.
I, uh, I'm in finance.

What's that mean?

Uh...
I turn money into more money.

Gotcha. Yeah, I had a friend
who used to do that.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, my God.
What is in these?

Wife and kids got super
into baking during COVID

and just haven't stopped.

It's become, like,
a whole family thing now.

I even get in there.

Me and Lulu made these
last night.

Laura, my eldest.

She hates her name,

even though she loves my aunt
she was named after.

How many kids
do you have?

Two. Almost three.
My wife is expecting.

But then that's it.

A kid for every bedroom of this
house, and then we're done.

It's a really nice house. Thank you.

We saw it and it looked so much
like the one I grew up in,

I fell in love.

My folks had to help us out
with the down payment.

So you... you, uh,

grew up in a nice house,
had a good childhood, yeah?

Yeah, I guess.

Played a lot of
Little League baseball.

Uh, what about you?

Uh, no, not a lot of
extracurriculars.

That's okay.

But, you know, it's fine.
I'm here, right?

The system's tough.
What are you gonna do?

The system?

Yeah, the foster system.

It sounds like
you got adopted by

some really great...
great family, great parents.

Jack, I wasn't adopted.

What do you mean?

I, uh...

I grew up
with our parents.

Mom got... pregnant with you
when she was in high school.

She was pretty far along
before anyone found out.

She was terrified.

You have to understand
that both our parents

grew up poor
and super conservative.

They wanted you
to have a life

they knew they weren't
capable of providing.

You know, what are
the chances that you marry

and start a family with
your high school sweetheart?

Anyway, uh...

Dad's retired now.

He was
a school superintendent.

Mom's a teacher.
Part time now.

But she, uh, does crafts
with the kids all the time.

She's better with them
than she was with me.

Did you know...
Did you...

S-Sorry,
did you know about me?

Did they talk about me?

Mm. Uh...

When the...

genetic testing
came back with a match, um...

me, Vivian, Brooke, and Abby
confronted our parents together,

and they broke down
and admitted everything.

Uh...

Brooke? Viv...

My sister...

Your...

Whole family.

Our sisters.

They want to meet you, too, but
we didn't want to overwhelm you.

Mom says
she didn't know where you were,

and even if she did,

it wouldn't be right to invade
and uproot your life like that.

She said you might not even know
that you were adopted.

Anyway, they'd like
to meet you someday.

They wanted me
to make sure that I stress

that it's totally
your decision, though.

Okay, okay. That's enough.

We're gonna leave, okay?

It's okay.
We don't have to stay.

What do you want to do?

Let's go. Come on.
Let's go.

That's enough for today.

Okay.

Okay, come on. Come on.

Hey,
I... I'm sorry, man.

Jack, I...

I didn't know how to...

To be honest, on the phone,

you sounded like
you really needed this,

and I wanted you to know that
you had a family out there

who wanted to meet you,
too.

Okay. Let's go.

Let's go.
We're gonna go, okay?

I'm here.

I'm right here.

Can they put my toes back on
over at Grey-Sloan?

I'm afraid
that might not be possible.

With this kind of decay,
the tissue has essentially died

from lack of blood flow.

The diabetes has damaged
your blood vessels.

But how... how did this happen
so fast without me knowing?

You didn't have
any symptoms?

I didn't have any insurance.

You know, the foot's
been tingly and... and numb

for... for a few months now,
you know?

Hard to walk, 'cause
I couldn't feel the floor.

But it never felt like
anything major enough

to go into debt over it,
you know?

Thought I could just
tough it out.

Well, we're glad
you're here now.

What do you do for work?

Toll booth worker.

Eh, or I was before
they made them all computers.

Okay, Erroll.
I'm gonna call for transport.

Our aid car's out, but...

we'll get another one
to get you over to Grey-Sloan.

Sound good?

Alright.

That's gonna be like
a million dollars, too, right?

A-An ambulance
on top of all this?

No, no, no.

All of our services here
are for free.

Oh, no, but an ambulance or
an... or an aid car, whatever.

We're gonna figure it all out
for you, I promise.

I promise.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, I... I would hate to lose
my toes and my house, you know?

I don't know how to explain
to my mother I'm a boy.

I know who I am,
and I... I always have.

She would always try
to explain away

why I didn't want to play
dress-up with the other girls

or why I cut my hair short.

What she doesn't understand is,

it wouldn't matter
if I wore makeup

or ugly dresses to church.

I'm still a boy.

And if I go back,

I'll never be able to
get gender-affirming care.

They'll force me to go
through a female puberty

that is going to
make me feel...

I'm scared.Yeah.

I'm scared of what
that will do to me.

I'm scared I won't survive.

Hey. Hey, so it looks like

Bryan has recently
been awarded full custody.

- Oh, good.
- Alright.

The kidnapping charges
are dropped.

That's great.

Uh, can I talk to my dad? Yeah, of course.

He's inside with the officers,
filling out an incident report.

Okay.
We'll see you in a minute, Matt.

Alright.

I think we can resolve this
from here,

and we'll fill out the incident
report and get it back to you.

Mom! It is my job to protect her!
Randall, help me!

- Mom, what are you doing?!
- Go!

- Mary! Mary!
- Hey! No, no, no!

- Go! Mary, stop it, please! Randall, hurry!
- Hey!

♪ Come home to me
- Go! Go! Go!

♪ Come home to me We're going!

♪ Come home to me

Stop, stop, stop!

Stop, stop!

♪ Came home last night Stop right now!

♪ Find myself waiting
on me Stop, stop, stop!

Get out of the car.

♪ Where you been?

♪ How you been?

♪ Who you been with?

♪ What you been doing wrong?

♪ What you've been doing

♪ I can tell that we're still
moving on, moving up ♪

♪ But love flows
in endless ways ♪

♪ Letting dreams
transform the place ♪

But you're my daughter!
You're my daughter!

Get in the car.

Mary!

♪ Come home to me,
come home to me ♪

♪ Come home to me

Stop this! Mary!

Tell them that
this is wrong!

I'm your mother!

My name is Matt, Mom.

This is me.
I'm sad for you.

I'm sad that you
don't want to get to know me

or the man
that I'll become.

I'm sad that
you're going to miss out

on loving me
when I feel the most me.

Honey, I love you.

I'm trying to help you.

I am...
I'm trying to save you.

Honey, you're a child.

Y-You don't know
what's good for you.

I know that when you call me
"Mary," it makes me want to die.

Do you think me wanting to die
is good for me, Mom?

Hey, that was really brave,
Matt.

Her loss.

Yeah, her loss.

But, Matt, if you ever need
more support or more help,

Station 19 has clinic hours,
okay?

Thank you. You're welcome.

Alright, you guys.
Alright.

You got this?

Hey, uh...

consider relocating.

Consider changing your phone
number so they can't track you.

I'm not saying
you can't make up with his mom,

but sometimes when people
get told that they're wrong

and they really think
they're right...

Just... be smart.

Be careful, okay?
Good luck.

Sounds like you're
speaking from experience.

So, Erroll has been
admitted to Grey-Sloan.

How do you watch your toes
turn to black mush

and not get help, huh?

Well, he obviously needs
mental health care as well.

Yeah, something else this broken
system isn't gonna provide!

I'm sorry,
but this is nuts.

I mean, that guy didn't get his
diabetes checked out

until his toes fell off because
he didn't want to go into debt?

I mean, what is that?

And what if
we didn't have this clinic?

What then?

What happens to Erroll,

and all the Errolls out there?

Yeah, but we do
have the clinic.

Yeah,
but it's not enough.

And... And if Dixon
is elected mayor,

he's going to shut
this place down, okay?

This... This world is
a broken and cruel place,

and we keep
putting people in charge

that are fixated
on making it worse.

He's not gonna win. We
You don't know that!

Have you seen
the rest of the field?

He could very easily win,
and nothing terrifies me more.

I'm a first responder.

I'm great at problem solving,
but on this, I got nothing.

Well, I mean,
you could run for mayor.

I can't do that.

Why not?
Scared you're gonna lose?

No, because
I think I could win.

Okay, yeah.
Maybe thatterrifies me more.

I think you should do it,
Travis.

I'll vote for you.

I mean, I don't even
have my green card yet,

but you know
what I mean.

Wait, are we
actually talking about

you running
for mayor of Seattle?

Yeah. No. No.
I don't know.

Not to actually be mayor,

but to just, you know,
make sure Dixon isn't.

I think you would win.

Yeah?
Yeah.

But that's crazy, right?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Like you said,
the world is crazy.

Oh, okay.

♪ When it's over

Great.

Flat tire.

♪ When it's all done

After this day?

Yep, after this day.

After this
stupid, stupid day.

I mean...

now we're getting
into cosmic joke territory.

Yeah? What's the...
What's the joke?

What's the lesson?
What's the point of any of this?

Here, I can...

The fact that they
thought that...

they were protecting me
by... by staying away?

That...
That... That's the joke.

I was just a kid...

A kid
that they didn't want...

...till they were ready
to have a good one?

Jack, what they did has nothing
to do with who you are.

Come on!
Okay?

Here. Do you know...

Ow! Oh!

Jack, okay. Wait, wait, wait.
Here.

I got you. I got you.

I got you.

♪ Amen

Here, here, here.

I needed protection,
you know?

I needed... I needed somebody
to bake cookies with.

That smug bastard
who got to live i-in that house

with those... kids
and those parents.

♪ We say

You know, he...
He didn't have to suffer.

He didn't have to...

♪ Amen

He didn't have to...

He didn't have to get...

passed from predator
to predator and...

♪ Amen

And...

And all because our...

♪ Amen

...our parents
didn't want me.

They just didn't want me.

They just didn't want me.

♪ Amen

♪ Amen

So are you gonna share?

Do I have to beg?

I had a friend
when I was a kid named Angel.

Mm-hmm.

He was my favorite person.

Made me laugh so hard.

He used to do these
dirty puppet shows

with puppets he would make
out of empty cans.

So funny.

When we were in high school,

his mom and dad walked in on him
making out with this dude, Mike.

Mike?
Yeah.

Twist. Okay.

Yeah.

His dad beat the crap
out of him.

But his mom...

She had his back?

No.

No, she kicked him out and said
he could never come back.

He was so funny.
He was so smart.

He was such a good friend.

And his parents,

I mean, they put love into him
to make him that way, right?

They put love into him,
and then this one thing that...

This one part of him
that they can't accept,

that they can't understand,
they...

and they just throw him out
with the trash.

In Jesus's name, no less.

Well,
what happened to him?

He slept on my floor
for a few weeks.

Then his dad showed up
at my door with a shotgun.

Whoa. Okay.
Yeah.

My parents
tried to talk to him,

but his dad
wanted him out of town.

It's like, if they
weren't gonna love their kid,

then no one else
was allowed to.

People are so messed up.Mm-hmm.

They're so stuck on their stupid
ideas of right and wrong and...

They can't see that hating
their own kid is just like...

Inarguably wrong.

Yeah.

Well, what happened to Angel
after that?

I never heard him laugh again,
I can tell you that.

They wrecked him.

They poured all that love
into him and they just...

They wrecked him.

Did you tell anybody
about what happened to you?

Yeah.

Then they would just,
you know, move me to a new home

a couple weeks later.

I think I wanted to
meet Josh so bad

because so much
of my childhood sucked.

I thought maybe...

I could borrow some of his
memories, you know?

Mm.

I hate that nobody protected you
when you were a kid,

and I hate that the person
who abused you got away with it.

They always do.

For every one of me,

there's a dozen other kids
who probably told nobody

because they thought
what happened to them was their fault.

Predators, they...

...they do what they do because
of that kind of thinking.

And they can keep
getting away with it

because...

we... we carry around the shame
that... that belongs to them.

There's...
There's more of you.

What?

When we would get moved
from the homes,

they would just... put
another kid in our place, right?

And... And the system doesn't
do anything about the abusers.

They... They just
get new victims,

so...
what Jeremy did to you,

chances are...
he's done to someone else.

Oh, my God.
Yeah.

And we gotta find them,
right? Yeah, we gotta find them.

We gotta get them
to come forward.

I mean, he definitely
had done it before.

He knew what he was doing.

H-How... How...
How do we do that?

How do we find them?

I have no idea.

Oh.

Jack, I... I am...

I am so lucky...

you're my brother.

♪ Once was enough

♪ Realized
everything turns to dust ♪

♪ Everything to dust

♪ I lied in your words

♪ When you said
everyone has to go ♪

Wonderful.

Whatever you said to Sullivan,
I think you scared him.

Good.
I'm sick of his moves.

Well, I don't think
the Beckett thing is a move.

He definitely is a drunk,

but Sullivan is sleeping
his way to the top, so...

Oh.

You'll get back there,
bambina.

Should we study?

Mm. Now?
Oh. Look.

What? Your left eye is bluer
than the right one.

Oh? I'm gonna write that down
on the clipboard...

Maya Bishop.

But first...

♪ Leave a light on

But first what?

♪ I waited every day

♪ You never came

♪ To set it straight

♪ I'll leave a light on

♪ Leave a light on

♪ Leave a light on

♪ Her face in a crowd

Huh.

I was cold.

Mm-hmm.
I was mean.

Mm-hmm.

And I hated it.
Mm.

Maybe a little too cold
and mean,

'cause folks are noticing,

and they started
asking questions.

Damned if I do...

damned if I don't.

You know, a lot of people
are wondering

about the nature of our...
relationship.

Hmm.

What'd you tell them?

That you're the one
who got away.

Liar.

Don't call me that.

♪ ...things that I
could never describe ♪

♪ I wanted everything
to never end ♪

♪ Can we start again
and leave a light on? ♪

♪ Leave a light on

♪ I waited every day,
you never came ♪

♪ To set is straight

♪ I'll leave a light on

♪ Leave a light on

♪ Leave a light on