Static Shock (2000–2004): Season 1, Episode 1 - Shock to the System - full transcript

Subtitles by Synchrofusion

Speed it up we don't have all night

Why you sweating me dude?

The guards are on ice the alarms shut off
Everythings covered

What the heck is up with that?

You mean "what up with that"

Either you slang properly or don't use it at all

It's a kid on a flying man-hole

I don't care if it's Aladin on his flying
carpet!

Get Him!

Metal weapons and dumb thugs



How easy does it get?

Like turning on lights in a roach motel

That's my taser punch

Shocking isn't it?

I got him dupe

Okay you got me off guard
I'm new at this so sue me

Not that I've got a curfew or anything..

but I've really got to wrap this up

Stick around fellas

You've got company

Piece of cake with frosting and sprinkles

My first bad guy beat down and I hardly
broke a sweat

Hard to believe just a few days ago I was the last person you'd call hero material

#Check me out now will ya
I've got the looks that fill ya#



#If ya down
I'll fell ya#

Coming up like weeds

Hey puff daddy you're taking a lot of time for guy with only five wiskers

At least I'm growing mine on purpose!

Just hurry up

And give your little weak rapping a rest

Don't forget your dog collar!

Ruff!

Sisters!

Agh

Dang static electricity

Isn't it time we got some hardwood floors
people

Sorry son, I'm in a hurry this morning

I feel you pops
Got a big day in front of me myself

Big

Big, big

I'm taking my friendship with Frida
to another level

Gonna ask her to homecoming

What she ever do to you?

What's this? An egg smoothy?

You know that just the way momma made em.

Funny, I don't remember needing a straw
to eat hers

Come on Virgil your sister went through
all this trouble

Least you could do is given them a try

Humph

Momma if you listening...

I could use some help here

[phone rining]

Hello?

Heey Teddy

Yeah I really liked that lecture last night

Tonight?

You mean a real date?

Let me check my schedule

Of course I have a schedule!

No I don't have a little black book
It's baysly

Good looking out moms

Fluffy egg goodness!

V Man!
Richie!

Is today gonna be that day or what?

You mean me and Frida?

Of course, today is the day
Man its on!

Yo, yo, Heres your chance bro

Let me hear that stron rap you're
gonna drop on her

Well Frida...

We've known each other for a long time now and

I was wonder if you do me the honor

Snoore

Do me the honor? Man you sound like
a form letter

That's not gonna cut with... Hey!

Frida

Hey Guys

Guess what. Mr Mcdonald said we could
put up the decorations early this year

Cool. Eyy look at me gotta go
Good luck with your um.. test

Where were you this weekend Virigil

I've been dying to talk to you about homecoming
-Really

Yeah I took your advice

You know Eddie the quater back

I heard he wanted to take me to the dance

But Dave also left a message! And Cleo said
Seth Grey wanted my phone number

Isn't it wild

I'm juggling three hotties!

You know Frida.. Hot isn't everything

In some circles wit and umm

off beat charm still count for alot. In fact...

I was wondering if you would do me the honor
-Hey Frida

Looking Good

You smell good too

You need to brush up on body language 101

Her's says not in this life time

Let's see if your face can understand
what my fist is saying

Yo. I know you're not sweating my man Virgil

Frances

Nah Wade, we was just playing

Here Virg

Catch you later Virgil

Tangling with F Stop are you crazy?

The dude makes Norman Bates look
like Mr. Rogers

Tell me something I don't know

If it wasn't for Wade I'd be looking
for a good plastic surgen right now

If any more static breaks out between you and F Stop
You know I got your back

Thanks man, peace!
-And Out

If only he knew Kong Fu

I'm picking up where I left off

Chum

Come on guys

Can't we do this later fellas?

Beatdowns just don't feel right without
lockers and dim school lighting

Virgil the jokester

Laugh your way out of this funny man

F Stop Wade and his Homie headin our way

You'll be seeing more of me believe that

Ah Wade.. I had them just where I wanted them man

Meet me under the stone bridge in a half

half hour? but

But I gotta meet pops in a half hour
- In a half

"Say sun where were you this after noon"?

Well dad the nice gangbangers invited
me for tea and cookies

"Son don't you know that bangers are dangerous"?

With all do respect dad... Well duh!

Gee it's so nice out, its a shame to be indoors

Welcome to our crib Virgil
-Cozy

This place should be on that show
"This Old Warehouse"

I like you Virgil you funny, and your smart

But keeping Frances off your butt takes
up too much of my time

I never asked you to do that Wade

Hear that? Dissing Wade, must be crazy

Punk Frances is looking for street cred
young brother

One day he's gonna catch you out there
and I won't be around

Sick dude like him, who know what
he'll do then

Gee, I was hoping he'd get bored of me
and go terrorize a (?)

This is no joke Virgil

There's only one way your gonna
save your skin

Roll with my crew
-Me?

You don't want me

I'm only 14 and I'm too stringy
to be a banger

Don't front Virgil Im offering you life insurance

Join up and F Stop will back off quickly

He ain't looking to tangle with this possy

I feel what you're saying

But it's my pops

He's got a tini little problem with gangs

And I'm too young to be homeless

Your Pops gonna watch your back all day?

He's gonna bet on F Stop for you?
Always said you were smart Virgil

Don't Prove me wrong now

Football injury huh?
-Yes sir

Two things, One since when do you
play football without a helment

And two, since when does your narrow behind
play football at all

Who asked you miss nosy

Pops can I be excused I'm really sore
-Sure Son

Come on dad, Football?
-He'll talk about it when he's ready

[ringing]

Hello

Tell me its not true.
Tell me you didn't join Wades crew

Were'd you hear that?!
It's all over Virg.Its like they want everyone to know

But I didn't...

not exactly

I mean, I didn't say yes

I just sort of nodded like I was thinking on it.

Geez Virgil your mom died from gang fire
-Don't you think I know that?

What am I gonna do?

I got the F problem big time
-Yeah now you go the Wade problem too.

He's gonna expect favors man

Okay, okay, I'll squash this

Tell him there's been a misunderstanding

Maybe I can be a banger water boy or something

Hold on I got incoming

Hello...

Meet us at the docks, now

Gate 10 we're taking care of your
problem tongiht

Wade... Wade!

Terrific

Hello?

Keep your mouth shut

What's going on?

There's gonna be a major throw down tonight
with all of the major crews in the city

Wade, we gotta talk

Shush

look

Time to go the permanent route
little bro. This way

Oww man. I've stepped into it big this time.

Virgil?

This is gonna be fun

Freeze!

You are in a restricted area

Drop all weapons and step into the open

[screaming]

What's going on?

Grab your mask

I'm home

I'm alive

Dang static electricity!

Down boy

Don't slam the doors
-Yes sir

Dad's razor... its possessed

I'm a human fuse box

[ringing]

I got it, I got it

Hello?

Virgil, what happened
You are gonna trip

Meet me in the auto junk yard ASAP, bye

Say what?

Virgil!

Yo, Virgil!

I'm worried about his butt and he's rushing me
off the phone

Tell me that's not cool
- How the hell did you..

There was this explosion last night.
There was this gas

It changed me Richie, check it out

Double wow

No more asking my pops to borrow his
card dude

Uh, you don't even drive yet V

Whatever. Oh, and I really like this!

Talk about your static cling

V man you could so be a super hero

I could, Couldn't I

Come on V, we gotta get you some gear!

Not your best look chicken legs

Alright, now this is just embarassing

Eh, you look like a battery commercial.
Next!

We've got ourselves a winner

And that's pretty much how it all began

We need a ladder

Guess I should ground them

The new lab computers

Those lights go over there

Hey, I though Virgil was coming?

He had to uh.. get his VCR fixed you know
how it flashes

12 o Clock, 12 o Clock

.. that..

check it out!

Special delivery

I had business at the warehouse and look
what I found

Who are you?

The names Static

I put a "shock" to your system

Good line

I see you've still got some work to do.

Fortaunetly I'm what you call an
all purpose superhero

It's beautiful

Not as beautiful as the sight I see.
My "sherie"

Why isn't this easy for Virgil?

See ya

He's a natural

It's getting worse. They keep mutating

Is the hazmat team here yet?

He's burning up!

[sinister laughter]

What a trip

This is gonna be fun!