Starsky and Hutch (1975–1979): Season 4, Episode 22 - Sweet Revenge - full transcript

The series finale: James Michael Gunther, the businessman who was the lead villain in "Targets Without a Badge" two shows earlier, returns to put out a murder contract on Dave Starsky. Starsky is critically wounded and seems to be dying. Hutchinson wants revenge, but can't seem to find Gunther -- until Gunther unexpectedly hands him a present -- the corpse of his own lawyer Bates in Gunther's office.

Mr. Lancaster?

Thank you, Mr. Bates.

I am able to
report, with pleasure

that the upsurge
in steel production

has increased
profits by 17 percent.

As you know, I will be leaving
on Saturday for Hong Kong,

where I will be meeting
with Lord Jensen.

If all goes as planned,

our acquisition of
Graykirk and Sons

will effectively double our
shipping capacity by June.

I'm sure you'll
relay to Lord Jensen

Mr. Gunther's appreciation
for his assistance.

Of course.

And inform him that
Mr. Gunther's yacht

will be available to him

throughout the
term of the festival.

Thank you.

Mr. Schneider?

Yes, Mr. Bates.

We'll hear your summary

of our activities
in Johannesburg,

if you would.

Well, the outlook

couldn't be better, Mr. Gunther.

Import total exceed fiscal '77,

and with minimal
cooperation from Wall Street,

our stockholders should receive
an unprecedented dividend.

And overall, I'm delighted
with the progress we're making.

As we all are,
Mr. Schneider. Thank you.

Mr. Judson, we'll hear your
report on Federated Charities,

if you would.

I-I'd prefer to move
on to your report,

Mr. Bates.

Yes, sir.

Of course.

Reports from Southern
California indicate

that our operations there

have completely terminated,

at least for the next
two fiscal years.

San Diego and Newport
have ceased all activities.

The doors to Reno remain
open, as do Phoenix,

but we've lost the
L.A.-Atlanta axis,

and consequently the
Southwestern profit picture

is going to indicate
an 80 percent loss.

Admittedly, it isn't a very
pretty picture, but we...

I am convinced
that we still have

sufficient strength to regroup

and in a couple of...

I appreciate all this
optimism about the future,

regardless of how
distant it might be.

But the next report
I expect to hear,

the only report that I
am at all concerned with,

is that we have
eliminated, now and forever,

the two individuals

who are almost
single-handedly responsible

for the massive damage
inflicted on this organization.

Now and forever, gentlemen.

Now and forever gone.

"I'll marry you tomorrow,
but let's honeymoon tonight."

That's not a lyric.
Sure it is. Big hit in '62.

Yeah, how about, uh:

"The beer that made Milwaukee
famous made a fool out of me."

Where's that from?

I don't know, but
it was a monster.

Quit spitting on your...

Quit spitting on your paddle!

Right here, Charlie.

"If I had to do
it all over again,

I'd do it all over you."


"Don't cry down my back, baby,

you might rust my spurs." Mm-hm.

"The phone don't ring,
darling, you'll know it's me."

"I'd rather have a
bottle in front of me

than a frontal lobotomy."


If I don't beat you on
trivia, I'll beat you on talent.

Makes it point 20-19, my
favor. Match point, set point.

And in case you've
forgotten our bet,

one point away from
a three-course meal

at a restaurant of my choice.
Just shut up and serve.

All right. I just heard of
this restaurant in Elmwood.

It's so expensive, they
take credit references

with your reservation.

Starsky and Hutch, I, uh,
wanna speak to you a minute.

One second,
captain. Final point.

I know things are going
a little slow around here

with the painting and all.

You're probably gonna say
it... It's none of my business,

but I was just wondering...

Uh, where was I?

You were just
wondering, captain.

Yeah. I was wondering
what's going on.

I don't know, captain.

But I'm sure as
hell gonna find out.

Game, set and match, sucker.

What? What'd he say?

I don't know, captain,
but I'm sure gonna find out.

You owe me a dinner, buddy boy.

Well, a bet's a bet.

Oh, all right.

Hey, look, as long
as I'm buying, What?

You mind if I pick the date?

Yours. How about tomorrow?

Tomorrow? Sounds great.

How about 5 in the morning?

Uh-uh. This time you owe
me a three-course dinner.

Like hamburgers, fries
and a chocolate shake?

No way. I'm taking about
a broiled lobster maybe.

Maybe even New York
steak. Come on, open up.

What do you look so ill for?

It's not every day you get to
buy your best buddy a meal.

Starsky, get down!




A couple guys
dressed up like officers.

He's lucky to be alive.

He's gonna be okay.

He's dying.


He... He suffered
massive damage.

The body can only withstand...

Well, there's a chance.

There's always a chance.

Of course there's a chance.

There's always a chance.

He's in a coma.

Ahem, hey, doc, um...

You know...

there's not too much I can do
at headquarters I can't do here.


I think I'm gonna stay.

I mean...

I think one of us
ought to be here...

in case we lose him.

Why don't you, um...

go wash up, get
something to eat.


Catch up with Huggy.

He just went for some coffee.

Excuse me, where's
the men's room?

Captain, you...? You
want something to eat?

Excuse me.

Oh, don't tell me.
That goes over here.

I know what's going on
out there better than you.

I don't wanna sit and wait for
them to make another move.

At this time, we don't
have much choice!

We do too! We
take the offensive.

What? How? Who? Where?

We make the move.

You don't even
know who they are.

What? Lower level, garage.

Captain, we find out.


We go out and look for them.

For what, a bullet in the head?

Beats sitting around
here pouring coffee.

Hutch, if you go out now,

it'll be like shooting
a duck in a barrel.

Now, come on, be calm.

Calm down and wait till I
can find you a new partner.

I already got a partner.

I don't need another one.

Don't be standing there.

Get out there with him.


Dobey send you after me?

Your keys.

You can't drive a
car without keys.

Starsky's gonna die, Hug.

Starsky's gonna die and...

there ain't nothing
anybody can do about it.

Well, at least from
their end, there isn't.

I'm still here.

I'm still alive. They
haven't got me yet.

And until then,

there damn well better
be something I can do.


Oh, uh, what's it look like?

Looks like Dobey's car.

Take it slow, huh?

Hey, excuse me. You're,
uh, blocking my car there.

Can I give you a hand?
Oh, I'd appreciate it. Uh...

If, uh, you take his legs, I
can grab him under the arms.

Yeah, sure.

Talk to me.

Tell me something I don't know.

I wanna hear it now!

It was a paid hit.

I don't know who wanted it done.

Who paid?

Give me a name, damn it!

A girl. What girl?

Brown. Who?

Jenny Brown.


I don't know.

Park Towers.

Hutchinson, where are
you, and what's going on?

Look, just get me a patrol
car and an ambulance

on the, uh, uh, third level of
the County Hospital garage.

That's right here. No kidding.

What? Brown. Brown. Jenny Brown.

Run her name
through the computer.

I want the results immediately.

Hutch, this is Huggy.
Did you say Jenny Brown?

Jenny Brown, right.
What's it to you?

Well, heh,

it's gotta be her then. Who?

She's the Muhammad
Ali of the modeling world.

She's been on
the cover of Vogue,

Cosmopolitan, you name it.

I just did.

Don't move.

I'm sorry?

Who gave you money
to pay for the hit?

Who gave you money
to pay for the hit?

I really haven't any idea

what you're talking about.

Look, Miss Brown,

my partner is dying,

and you paid for the hit.

Now, I'm gonna put you in a car,

and I'm gonna take you
downtown and I'm gonna book you.

And then you're gonna
be allowed one phone call.

And what I suggest that you say

is you've been arrested
as an accomplice

on two attempted
murders, and that your boss,

who left you holding the bag,

I'm gonna go after next.

Code blue, station one.
Code blue, station one.

Code blue, station one.

Code blue, station one.

What you got? A cardiac arrest.

Hook up a board.

Okay. Right there. That's it.

Doctor, there
are no vital signs.

We lost him.

Excuse me, Captain Dobey,

it's Detective Hutchinson
on the telephone.

How's he doing, captain?

I think you better get down
here right away, Hutch.


Stop it.

Nothing. Give me
the defibrillator.

Four hundred watt-seconds.

Let's cut the bandages.


Cut faster, P.A.

Okay, let me at him.

Ready with sodium
bicarb and epinephrine?

Yes, sir.

Continue compression.

Okay. Let me hit
him one more time.

Stand clear.

Continue compression.


One more time.

Stand clear.

Okay. We... We got him back.

Normal sinus rhythm.
Start the lidocaine drip.

He's alive.

Still not out of it,

but I'll be damned
if he isn't alive.

Excuse me.

He's still alive.

Yeah? When?

Hold it. How is he?

He's, uh, holding his own.

Just a light snack.
You want something?

Okay, I'll get back
to you. Yeah, sure.

I can dig it.

That mechanic who
tried to waste you

in the hospital garage...

Yeah, did you get him an ID?

Nope. They got to him
in his cell at the county.

Knifed him.

Riley? Hutchinson.

Look, uh... Uh, Jenny Brown,
we booked her last night.

W... Wait a second!

I want her transferred
to maximum security.


Well, who sprung her?

Yeah, thanks.

"Don't cry down my back,
baby, you might rust my spurs."

"When the phone don't ring,
darling, you'll know it's me."

Good morning,
Detective Hutchinson.

How can I help you, detective?

Jenny Brown.

Excuse me.


No. No, tell her I'll
have to call back.

Yes. Fine.

Now, then, uh...

Jenny Brown.

Jenny Brown.

Your firm bailed
her out this morning.


Well, who requested...?

Excuse me.


No, of course.

No, for lunch.

Yes, three of us.


Who posted bail for her?

Detective Hutchinson,
as officers of the court,

I'm sure you must know
that we cannot divulge...

Look, either you tell
her to hold those calls

or I will, so help me.


No, not right now.

And, uh, hold my calls.

For a few minutes.


As I was saying,
Detective Hutchinson...

I'm sure you're well
aware of the legalities.

I'm aware of the fact that the
lady you sprung from county jail

handled an exchange of
money between two killers

and a certain unknown
individual or individuals

that want me and
my partner dead.

I'm afraid this is really
leading us nowhere, detective.

Discussing my client with
you, as I'm sure you know...

is against the
ethics of an attorney.

Now, where does
murder fit in to your ethic?

I don't really believe we have
anything further to discuss.

No, I guess not.

But I do wanna thank
you for one thing.


And what might that be?

My confusion about prostitutes.

Now I know that the,
uh, high-priced ones

can also wear three-piece suits.

What are you doing here?

Trying to catch up to you.

Take heart, my
man. You're in luck.

Huggy's about to make
a very special delivery.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

Receptionist's call sheet

with a list of all the
outgoing calls made

by the Honorable Jonathan Wells.


Every time I get a door open,

it's slammed back in my face.

I'll tell you, this
thing, whatever it is,

it's a hell of a lot bigger

than either one of us thought.

Somebody's got the power,

somebody's got
the control, right?

Whoever it is is
up there laughing

at this puny little cop

trying to chip
away at a mountain.

Maybe, maybe not.
You gotta keep pushing.

Maybe they'll make a mistake.

Bates? Bates?

Six, seven, eight calls.

San Francisco area code.
Who's this guy, Bates?

There's a telephone.

Give me some change,
will you? I'm out.

What's the number?

Um, area code, you got? Yeah.




I put it all in, operat...
All right, all right.



Who answered?

Who's Bates?

I don't know, I...

At least now I know
who this number is.


The man turned down a
chance at the presidency

because it was a
step down in power.


Huggy, this number
is... Is Gunther Industries.

It's the private line
to James Gunther.

Captain, you gotta eat.

You just can't keep
going from day to day

without putting
something in your stomach.

How about some food?

We got nice sandwiches.

Captain, when is the last
time you ate something?

Come on, tell me.
Yesterday? Today?

I don't know, Huggy.

I've just been drinking
a lot of coffee. Exactly.

And all coffee, no solid food
makes captain a very shaky boy.



I don't know what to do, Starsk.

I'm pushing the odds.

I don't know what to do.

I mean, what if...?

What if...?

Oh, man, what
am I talking about?

What am I talking about?



You... You're awake.

He's awake.

Nurse, nurse, look,
he's awake, he's...

He's awake.

He's awake! He's
awake! He's okay!

He's awake! He's all right!

He's awake, he's
awake. He's awake.

He's awake. He's
awake, he's awake.

He's awake.

He's awake. He's... He's awake.

Good morning.

Never ceases to amaze me.

What's that, sir?

How we struggle...

to order the world about us...

centre it all in on us...

try to eliminate chance...


determine cause...

assign effects.

I don't follow.

There's a fly in
our ointment, Bates.

I'm sorry.

So am I.

I wish I'd seen him sooner.

What are we going to do?

Coffee, sir.

Ah, providence, once again.

I don't think there's
anything really to discuss.

I mean, I've already
given you my... opinion.

I think we should
leave for a while.

Go away until things quiet down.

Hide our heads
beneath the covers.

Shall I serve, sir?

Allow me.

Did it ever occur to you, Bates,

that eventually life doesn't
provide an alternative?

There's always
alternatives, sir.

We can always make a choice.

Yours is to run?

Sir, I don't see,
in this instance,

there's really any...


Well... Well, there is.

Bates, there isn't.

Your coffee.

Officer! We got them, Starsky!

Later. This is really important.

So is his health. I must forbid.

Yeah, later,
sweetheart. Listen to this.

A man with a cardiac
arrest needs rest.

You know all that information
we gave to Wallenby

to put into the
computer? Please, get out.

Wait till you hear this.
Wait till you hear this.

Sergeant, if you
don't leave right now,

I'm gonna call
hospital security.

Yeah, why don't you...
Good idea, call them.

That's a good id... Here we go.

Gunther Industries, fourth
largest holding company.

Holding Gunther
Petroleum, Will you get out?

Texas Shorthorn
Cattle Company...


Wait, wait. Wait a second.

Please get out
of here right now.

New World Textiles,
Westland Electronics

and catch this:
Gunther Properties

owning and managing one
condominium of one Jenny Brown.

Sergeant, please! Get
out of here right now!

Shh! Wait a second. Here.

Wells, Calley, Hodgson,
law firm that bailed out Brown

and legal consultant
to 13 subsidiaries

of Gunther Industries.
I want you out now!

All right, all right.
That's it, that's it.


Well, anyway, you
ain't heard nothing yet.

Listen to this.

The late Federal Judge McLellan

served on the board
of directors of... Count:

one, two, three
Gunther-owned companies.

Here, look with your own eyes.

Please tell your man to get out.

And the late Deputy
D.A. Clayburn.

Hutch. Wait a second, captain.

Hutch. Clayburn... What?

Listen, your flight to...

Shh-shh. Shh-shh. Shh! Shh.

Your flight to San Francisco

leaves in... Shh-shh.

Your flight to San Francisco
leaves in 30 minutes.

That's okay. You
gotta get started.

Right, right. Look,
when he wakes up...

you'll read him
the rest, right? Yes.

Okay, okay.

Gunther Overseas Oil...

$53 billion invested in
the North Sea project...

82 million in Iran...

14 million in Venezuela.

Gunther Trading...

owns the second largest
import-export business...

in Hong Kong.

And my father repaired
sewing machines.

"Easy as alphabet
soup," he used to say.

"Nothing can't be fixed.
Just put your mind to it."

Mr. Fix-It.

Oh, you and he would
have gotten on fine, Bates.

You and your college degrees,

he and his sewing machines.

You ever...?

No, I expect not.

I guess that's what's
supposed to be so funny.



He's arrived, sir.


Show him in.


That'll be all, Thomas.

Come in, Sergeant
Kenneth Hutchinson.

James Gunther.

Yes, that's correct.

The James Gunther.

James Marshall
Gunther, to be correct.

You've met my butler, Thomas.

Meet my assistant, Mr. Bates.

He so looked forward
to meeting you.

You've come to arrest me.

Ah, yes, the warrant.


You gonna kill me?

Try it.

You tried to kill my
partner how many times?

You kill me, he'll
come after you.

Kill him, and there'll
be somebody else.

There'll always
be somebody else.

Come here.

Come here!

Assume the position.

You have the right
to remain silent.

If you give up that right,

anything you say can and
will be used against you

in a court of law.

You have the right to
speak to an attorney

and have that attorney
present during questioning.

If you so desire and
cannot afford one,

one will be appointed
for you without charge

before questioning.



Look what the cat dragged
in. Look at this. My goodness.

Where the hell have you been?

What? It's 8:45.

By whose clock?

Oh, well, is something
wrong with you?

Well, uh...

Four pain killers.

Feeling no pain.
Well, we're even.


Where are you going?

Move over. Move over.

Shh. Be careful. Be careful.

How long do you think it
takes to stuff veal, huh?

Oh, boy. Look at this.

Oh, boy.

Say, did you run into
any trouble downstairs?

Not really. No?

No, no, I ran into an orderly,

but I turned him into
a bottle of Jim Beam.

That's the little short
guy with the mustache.

The little short guy
with the mustache.

Same guy, same guy. Oh, boy.

Hey. What?

Um... That's beautiful, huh?

That is beautiful.
This is beautiful.

That's beautiful.
It warms my heart.

Well, I couldn't have my
buddy eating hospital food

for another week,
I'll tell you that.

I'm telling you,

if I eat any more chipped
beef on a shingle...

Everything all right?

Fine. Everything's terrific.

I think she's gone.

Gone, huh?

Would you like some
orange juice or something?

Nothing, thank you.

I think it's okay.

She gone? She's gone.

Say, did you bring
anything to drink?

There's nothing
in there. Who, me?

Well, who else am I talking to?


Captain, you'll give
a guy a heart attack.

Thought you'd like
something to eat.

Look at this. Look at this.

Oh, captain.

What's he breathing so hard for?

I'd like to see you score
a 10-pound antipasto

at 2 a.m. in the morning.

Oh, yeah? Where's Huggy?

- I lost him downstairs.
- Yeah?

Got in an argument
with a very large nurse

and a drunken orderly. - Oh!

Cheese it, fellas. Shh!
There's a huge nurse on my tail.

Shh! Shh, shh.



Quiet. Shh!


Huggy, did you bring some wine?

Is the Pope a Pole?

Somebody turn the lights on.

Chateau Martin, 1977.

Ohhh. All right.

I gotta have light to eat!


Captain Mysterious. Candlelight.

That's a good idea, Hugs.

That's better.

Where can I hang this?

Voilà. Up there. Thank you.

Be careful of the food.



Where's my glass?

There it is.


Starsky, you're uncouth.

Gentlemen, I'm
gonna propose a toast.

My toast...

to four very, very heavy dudes.

Well, at least three.

God bless us all.

I'm gonna remember this
night for a long time to come.

Uh, w-w-wait a second,

wait a second, wait a second.

Let me get something
straight here before...

Before we start. DOBEY: What?


Yeah, sure.

Uh, what was that
that you hung that, uh...

That lantern from up there?

Uh... I don't know.

Looks like... One of them...

Fire-sensitive, uh, sprinklers.