Starsky and Hutch (1975–1979): Season 4, Episode 1 - Discomania - full transcript

Along with a female officer, the Detectives go undercover at Fever, a popular discotheque, in order to set a trap for a serial killer who is murdering women that refuse to dance with him.

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[♪♪♪]

"Intimidation: Controlling
People for Love and Money."

Oh, boy. Don't tell
me you're into that

human dynamics garbage, Starsk.

In chapter seven, they
tell you to expect hostility.

Yeah, did they also tell you
you got ripped off at 14.95?

You can go through
your life being a pawn

if you want to, but not me.

That book tells you how to
be the master of all situations.



From asking your
boss for a raise...

to getting better
service in a restaurant.

What if the waiter's
read the same book?

MAN: Ma, listen. I
still think, at your age,

you ought to consider
moving out here.

I got a house that's
big enough for you

and the whole neighborhood.

Please, Ma.

Okay.

Okay, so you won't move
out. All right. All right.

Uh, I'll call you on
Thursday, okay?

I love you.

[♪♪♪]

You should've danced
with me, Sharon.



You should've loved me.

STARSKY: All kinds
of good stuff in here.

Eye control and body language.

Eye control?

Yeah. Eye control.

"When dealing with a
hostile business associate,

"convey your sense
of inner strength

"by moving in close

"and permeating your
opponent's defenses

with an intense... Hm.

Unblinking gaze."

Speak to you two in my
office a moment, please.

[STARSKY CLEARING THROAT]

Something wrong, captain?

Yeah, they found a dead
lady up on Skyway Drive.

Starsky. Hm?

If you wanna talk to
me in a close proximity,

lay off the tostadas, huh?

Excuse me.

You know, 14.95 would buy

an awful lot of mints.

Hm.

DOBEY: Medical examiner
claims it's a heroin OD

with barbiturates.

Think she was dumped?

The lab's trying to
determine the make of the car

from the rug fibers on
her clothing. Come on.

Got a name on her yet?

Just Sharon.

According to this
ankle bracelet.

Twenty-two karat. Must
have cost some bucks.

[KNOCK ON DOOR] Come in!

This is my office, Starsky.

Mm-hm. Come in.

Well, come on in!

Somebody said you were here.

Well, that figures, Harding.
After all, it's my office.

What do you have there?

Uh, 43 missing persons
in the last three months,

and it turns out your
girl is one of them.

Sharon. You ID'd her.

Except her name
is Gloria Parkins.

Her ankle bracelet says Sharon.

Don't believe
everything you read.

I've been trying to tell
him the same thing myself.

I keep hanging around this
group, I'm gonna get paranoid.

Come on, Starsky,
don't take it personally.

It's nothing more
than your breath.

Tostadas?

Tostadas.

Yeah.

Gloria Parkins,

last seen two weeks ago.

Left home one evening on the...

Yeah, the 25th at 8:30
on her way to Fever.

What the heck is Fever?

[VILLAGE PEOPLE'S
"MACHO MAN" PLAYING]

♪ Body Wanna feel my body ♪

♪ Body ♪

♪ Body ♪
♪ All right ♪

♪ Body Gonna thrill my body ♪

♪ Body Gonna thrill my ♪

♪ Body ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ Body ♪
♪ All right ♪

♪ Body Don't ya stop my ♪

♪ Body Don't you stop my ♪

♪ Body ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ Body ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Body It's so hot, my ♪

♪ Body It's so hot, my ♪

♪ My body, touch
my body All right ♪

♪ Every man ought to
be A macho, macho man ♪

♪ To live A life of freedom ♪

♪ Machos make a stand ♪

♪ Have their own
Lifestyle and ideals ♪

♪ Possess the strength
And confidence ♪

♪ Life's a steal ♪

♪ You can best believe
That he's a macho man ♪

♪ He's a special person
In anybody's land ♪

♪ Hey, hey Hey, hey, hey ♪

Excuse me, man. My fault.

♪ Macho man, yeah ♪

♪ I've got to be A macho man ♪

♪ I've got to be a mucho
Mucho, macho man ♪

♪ I've got To be a macho ♪

♪ Dig the hair On my chest ♪

♪ Macho, macho man ♪

♪ So dig my big Thick mustache ♪

♪ I've got to be A macho man ♪

♪ I've got to be a mucho
Mucho, macho, macho man ♪

♪ I've got to be a macho ♪

♪ Big broad shoulders, Yeah ♪

♪ Macho, macho man ♪
♪ Dig my muscles ♪

♪ I've got to be A macho man ♪

♪ Talking 'bout a mucho,
Mucho, macho, macho man ♪

♪ I've got to be A macho ♪

[MUSIC STOPS]
[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

Hey, hey, hey.

That little ear sore was by
Pavlov's Dog, my little veggies.

But now get ready,
all you disco monsters,

for a chance to bag 50...

I said, 50.
- -big ones.

So grab your clone
and get ready to win it,

because dance contest
time's in just a minute.

Whoo!

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, pretty lady.
How you doing? Huh?

[CHUCKLES] Good?

Looking good. Definitely.

Hey. What do you say
you and me get out there

and, uh, spin around a little
bit, win those 50 big ones?

Huh? What do you say? Hm?

No, I'm sorry. I've
already promised

the next dance to someone else.

Promised, eh? He's not here.

I am here. Come on.

[CHUCKLES]

And I'll tell you what, if
we do not... If we do...

I say, if we do N-O-T, not win

those 50 big ones,
I'm gonna pay it.

What's your name anyhow?

Rita.

Oh, Ri-ta.

It looks to me like you have
found yourself a dance partner.

And after the dance
is done, if you are...

real lucky,

I'm gonna tell you
all about myself.

Hey, uh, excuse me, pops.

Uh, come on, Rita, let's boogie.

Who you calling pops?

♪ Dancing all night long ♪

Look, I'm a little chubby,

but then again
you're a little old.

So I figure we're even.

♪ Dancing ♪

You wanna dance?

♪ Dancing ♪

♪ Dancing ♪

♪ Dancing all night long ♪

[SIRENS WAILING]

HUTCH: What a waste.

HARDING: Carol Sanders.

Missing three weeks before
she was found last month.

Yeah wearing a solid
gold ankle bracelet

with the name Sharon on it.

Lived with her mother
on the west side.

Went out one night to...

On her way to a
disco named Fever.

Never missed a weekend,
according to her little sister.

What about this one?

Michelle Brady.

Last seen leaving her parent"
house sometime last night.

On her way to Fever?

[♪♪♪]

All the same.

The same thing.

Bright lights.

Life in the fast lane.

They don't know
what love is, do they?

[SNAPPING]

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

Has anybody checked
out this Fever place?

Yeah. Sergeant Thorpe.

But so far we've gotten nowhere.

Well, maybe Starsky
and I will have better luck.

We're gonna check
it out tomorrow night.

What's your cover?
Parking attendants?

Look Harding, you've just
lost two cases to Homicide.

I hope she's not the third.

["DISCO INFERNO" PLAYING]

♪ I heard somebody say ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco inferno ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn... ♪

Roll the glitter.

I gave it my best shot.

♪ Disco inferno ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn... ♪

Well, now...

you'll get...

all you can handle.

Miss me, baby?

Well, don't just sit
there. It's dancing time.

And time is flying.

You're not gonna...

You're not gonna
kill me, are you?

No, baby, I'm gonna
dance with you.

And unless you wanna
end up like... Please!

Your dearly departed friend,

you'll do the same.

Now dance with me. Move! Dance!

Come on, dance!

Come on! Move, move!
Come on! Come on!

Move! More! Go on, move!

Come on, dance, dance!
Move, move, move. That's it.

Come on, come on. Dance, dance.

Come on! Dance, dance!
Dance! Go on! Move.

Come on, come on,
move. Move. Move. Move...

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHATTER]

Starsky, if you're gonna
jerk around like that,

why don't you go
do it in a dark corner?

It's called body language, pal.

If you take a look over
at that lady over there,

you'd see the
effect it's having.

She's probably got
some weird fetish

for left-handed people.

I think I'm gonna
dance with her.

Starsky, this is not
a pleasure cruise.

We are here to nail a killer.

Well, the best way
to do that is to mingle.

Does she look like
a suspect to you?

Well, her profile does match
those of the other victims.

Maybe she's had some
contact with our man.

Hey, that's good thinking.

That'll be $5, please.

What?

Five dollars for your drinks.

I really must. Sorry.

Hi. What are you
doing all alone?

I was asking myself
the same question.

How you doing?

Ah, I've had better days. But
then I've had worse too. Ha.

Uh, my name's
Judith. What's yours?

Dave. Oh.

Glad to meet you.
Oh, are you really?

'Cause if you are, I really
find you very attractive.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, that's sweet of
you, kid, thanks, but I'm...

You're taken, right?

All the cute ones
are always taken

when I come up to them.

I get all the leftovers. Is it
because I'm overweight?

Huh? Is that it?

You can be honest with me.

No. No, no.

Because I'm fat, right?

No. Now, listen, ah, Judith?

Yeah.

Judith, uh, you know all
those great painters in Europe?

You know, Rubens
and all those cats?

Yeah.

You never caught them
painting skinny chicks, huh?

A little belly and
tush went a long way.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Thanks.

Yeah, you know, I, uh...

I usually try to stick
with the private clubs.

But, uh, I just
felt like being out

with the people
tonight, you know?

You come here often?

Nope. This is my first time.

Someone at work recommended it.

Lot of guys been hitting on you?

So far you're the first.

You know, you're a better
dancer than I expected.

Well, what did you expect?

Ooh, Abbott and
Costello go disco.

From the way your captain
described the two of you.

Don't tell me.

Sergeant Lizzie
Thorpe, third class.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

I usually work Vice.

Mm.

Hey, thanks for the info. Yeah.

Take care. So long.

Bye-bye.

♪ You know you're
gonna be My destiny ♪

Hm. I see you finally got
bored with my friend here.

Decided to let good
taste prevail. Oh.

My name's David.

I'd deem it a pleasure
to get you on that floor.

If you mean the dance floor,

I've already been warned.

Yeah, Dave, meet Liz Thorpe.

Sergeant, third class.

You mean, I've been having
lewd and lascivious thoughts

about a fellow police officer?

Who has an 8-year-old daughter
and an 8-foot-tall husband.

Strictly business.

Uh-huh.

What kind of information do
we have on Michelle Brady?

Well, not much. Like the
others, she was a very hot dancer

who liked to show off her wares.

The bartender says he
remembers her coming in

with the lady over
there in the red shorts.

You gentlemen had any luck?

I was speaking
to this young lady.

She said Michelle Brady
spent most of the night

last night dancing with, uh,

that Travolta clone over there.

I think I'll just hustle on over

and find out his life story.

That's a good idea.

Beats busting conventioneers.

I think I'm gonna go
lay some body English

on that, uh, ahem,

pair of hot pants.

♪ You and I ♪

Hi.

What are you doing all alone?

Heh.

Well, I was just, uh,

wondering that
myself. [CHUCKLES]

How you doing? Oh.

I've had better days. Yeah.

But then I've had
worse too. Yeah.

Uh, my name is
Judith, what's yours?

[CLEARS THROAT]

It's Ken. Oh.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Do you really mean that?

Because if you do,

I really find you
very attractive.

Ooh, that's nice.

Now, that's very nice.

She's the one.

She's my ticket to ride.

Nope. Never laid eyes on her.

Of course, that
don't mean nothing.

[YELLING] What's that?!

I said, that don't mean nothin'!

You know, a couple of
months in a... In a place like this,

and all you see is a room

full of blank faces
and blow-dried hair.

Yeah, not to mention
the decline and fall

of the Western world, huh?

Heavy. Uh, heavy.

No, she went home
alone the other night.

She wasn't feeling too good.

Uh-huh? Why do you ask?

I work in the same
shoe store as her brother.

Let me tell you, Liz,

growing up in Brooklyn,
no bowl of cherries.

We used to rob hubcaps,
sell 'em for a quarter.

No kidding. Ha.

Scotch on the rocks
and a Coke here.

Okay. That'll be $3, sir.

Buy yourself a mink
coat, sweetheart.

Why, thank you very much.

All right, all you bionic
zombies out there.

Get ready to swirl and sway

because the contest
is just a minute away.

And 50 bills...
I said, 50 bills.

Buys a lot of pills.

So get down, space
heads. Get down. Whoo!

Listen, I was watching you

out on that dance
floor the other day.

You and me, we could
win that dance contest.

You like ladies who dance?

I can't live without 'em.

Come on, bright eyes.

I'll introduce myself
after the contest.

And here we go,
my little veggies.

Your last chance
at fame and fortune.

["DISCO INFERNO" PLAYING]

♪ I heard somebody say ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco inferno ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn... ♪

Does Marty come in here often?

Yeah. A real creep.

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco inferno ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down ♪
♪ Burn it ♪

♪ I Just can't stop ♪

♪ When my spark gets hot ♪

♪ Just can't stop ♪

All he's into is sex,
music and drugs. Heh.

Thanks.

Come to think of it,

I could use a guy like that.

[CHUCKLES]

Forget about him, honey.

He'll just leave a
ring around your tub.

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco inferno ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco inferno ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down ♪

♪ Burnin' ♪

Uh. ♪ I heard somebody say ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪
Uh...

♪ Disco inferno ♪

We just got started.

That's what I'm afraid of.

♪ Burn that mother down ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco inferno ♪
♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Just can't stop ♪

♪ When my spark gets hot ♪

♪ Just can't stop ♪

♪ When my spark gets hot ♪

♪ I heard somebody say ♪
♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco inferno ♪
♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco inferno ♪
♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down ♪
♪ Burn it ♪

♪ I heard somebody say ♪
♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco inferno ♪
♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

[CROWD CLAPPING, CHEERING]

DISC JOCKEY: Yeah, wait. Hold.

Hold it down now. Okay.

And now, second place,

for 25 big ones,

a shiny trophy

and a chance at
fame and fortune,

let's hear it for
Lizzie and Marty.

[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

DISC JOCKEY:
Okay, all you bionic...

♪ Let me be there for you ♪

♪ No other one's allowed to ♪

♪ Let me be there for you ♪

♪ No other one's allowed to ♪

♪ Let me be be there for you ♪

Come on, get up and dance.

All right.

Hey, Lizzie.

You asked for a
slow dance, you got it.

Come on. Hey, I thought we...

Well, I'll see you around.

Yeah.

Have a ball, baby.

You will. You will see me.

♪ Can't break the spell ♪

♪ Help raise the planet ♪

♪ Make me feel pretty ♪

♪ Can't break the spell ♪

♪ No other one's allowed to ♪

Whew.

Hey, babe, you all right?

Oh.

I think I could use some air.

Starsky. Hmm?

Come on. Oh.

Let's check it out. Excuse us.

♪ Let me be there for you ♪

Marty. Marty, I'm warning you.

Hey, cut the jive, babe.

You didn't follow me
back here for your health.

HUTCH: Hot lips, cool it.

Oh. Where do you guys
think you're coming from?

Ninth precinct. We'd
like to talk to you.

Yeah. Yo, how about
talking to this, huh?

Spread them, cutie.

You all right?
Yeah, I'm all right.

♪ Can't break the spell ♪

♪ Help make love better ♪

♪ Make me feel pretty... ♪

Okay.

We're taking a little walk.

Hey, where?
What's this all about?

This is about a
little time in the slam.

Whew.

Well, sergeant, it's your bust.

You wanna book him?

No. You go ahead.

I promised my husband
I'd be home by 12.

Okay.

You need a lift? No,
I'm parked in the garage.

You feeling all right?
Yeah, I'm a little tired.

Let's go.

Why don't you just wait here,

and I'll go get
your things for you.

No, no. That's okay.

It's been a real pleasure
working with you.

Oh, it's been my pleasure.

You take care of yourself.

Okay. Good night.

Good night.

[DOOR CLOSES]

♪ Let me be there for you ♪

♪ No other one's allowed to ♪

♪ Hey, baby ♪

♪ Let me be there for you ♪

♪ No other one's allowed to ♪

♪ Hey, baby ♪

♪ Make me feel pretty ♪

♪ Can't break the spell ♪

♪ No other one's... ♪

[♪♪♪]

[SLOW FOOTSTEPS]

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLING] [GASPS]

Aw, Lizzie.

You meet the strangest
people at discotheques.

You like my wheels?

I hope so.

'Cause they're gonna
carry us to my palace.

I'm telling you, I
ripped that bracelet

off of the guy
sitting next to me.

What was his name, Marty?

If we were that well-acquainted,

I wouldn't have ripped him off.

He's just some clown I've
seen hanging around the club.

Look, Marty, I'm tired.

That's not good enough.

Yeah, look, uh, you know,
you got nothing to hold me on.

What, are you kidding?
We got a floating pawnshop.

So I pick a few
pockets. Big deal.

Well, it's enough to
put you up for the night.

Make him comfortable.

Uh-huh.

[SIGHS]

Thanks a whole bunch.

Yeah.

Don't tell me
his alibi holds up.

Airtight. Possession
of stolen goods.

He was in the slam the
night Michelle Brady bought it.

You know who
that leaves us with:

the other guy at the table.

And Marty said he got
this bracelet from him.

Lizzie.

You see her home okay?

Well, yeah. She said she
was headed straight home.

Yeah, this is Detective
Sergeant Starsky.

Give me Lizzie Thorpe's
home immediately.

I don't believe we
missed the guy.

We were sitting
there all night long.

He's sitting with her.
I don't believe that.

Yeah. Yeah, uh, look, this is
Detective Sergeant Starsky,

police headquarters.

Uh, let me speak to Lizzie.

What?

Lizzie never made it home.

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

You wanted a slow
dance, didn't you, Lizzie?

'Cause that's what
I'm gonna give you.

All the slow dances
you'll ever need.

[GASPING]

DOBEY: Now, wait a
minute. Let me get this straight.

You're trying to tell me that
he was seated next to her?

We're not positive.

It looks that way.

Where were you?
Why didn't you nail him?

Checking that punk Marty.
All indications pointed to him.

We've got him in holding
with a sketch artist.

I'm gonna put out an APB on him.

On Lizzie?

We already did that, captain.

Now, listen, you two...

[PHONE RINGS]

Yeah.

This is he.

You did? Where?

Is it still there?

Thanks.

They found Lizzie's car.

[♪♪♪]

See? Your own private room.

The last girl that stayed here

didn't treat me right.

She's in another place now.

You sleep real tight.

'Cause you're gonna need it.

We got a big day tomorrow.

[SIREN WAILING]

HUTCH: Well, this looks like
the right place to jump somebody.

STARSKY: Of course. But we
don't even know if she got this far.

You through here, Smitty?

WOMAN [OVER RADIO]:
Ten-7 investigation.

Central three, 1000
Chestnut, a 918x.

Gettin' old. 1000
Chestnut, a 918x.

MAN [OVER RADIO]:
Nawlin 30 to Headquarters.

She got here.

What's this? What's what?

HUTCH: M. Is that a P?

STARSKY: It's an E.

E. It's an E.

R.

M-E-R. What's that
supposed to mean?

Mer. Mer.

Merle. Merlin.

Mercury. Meredith.

Merrific.

Hey, look, it's a start.

MAN [OVER RADIO]: Uh,
negative. Frisby, home break-in.

[SIGHS]

MAN [OVER RADIO]:
Mission five to headquarters.

What's this?

What?

An antihistamine prescription
for a P.K. Anderson.

Smitty.

Dust it down again, will you?

We're just loaded with hot tips.

Is that, uh...

Sharon in the picture, Tony?

Who is she?

An old girlfriend?

An ex-wife?

Fiancé?

Shut up.

It's none of your business.

So why am I here, Tony?

Do I remind you
of her, is that it?

Are you gonna kill me
just to get back at her?

You're pushing it, baby.

Tony... there's nothing
wrong in losing someone.

Unless you lose yourself too.

I told you to shut up.

The next time I come in
here, you be wearing this dress.

You and me are
gonna have some fun.

[♪♪♪]

Merle, Merlin. I told you,
I didn't catch his name.

You're about as useful
as a rubber crutch.

Hey, you know how
loud it is in that joint?

Okay, one more time. M-E-R.

Now come on, let's
run it through again.

What is this, Scrabble?
Give me a break.

How'd that sketch turn out?

Terrific. Fits half the guys

on the west side.

You got a great
eye for detail, kid

Hey, I was focusing
on the lady, you dig?

Got a lab report on
that capsule you found.

What capsule?

The prescription
bottle in the garage.

And?

Well, it had traces of
antihistamines and barbiturates.

The girl we found
was on barbiturates.

Oh, yeah. Along with half
the population below 50.

STARSKY: Shut up, kid.

Did you check the drugstore?

Yeah, prescription was
made out to a Pat Anderson.

His office is down
the street from there.

Hey, do you wanna keep
an eye on this turkey?

Oh, guys. Let me know
how you make out, huh?

STARSKY: Put back
the piggy bank, kid.

Now, what can I do
for you young fellas?

Excuse me. Mrs. Anderson.

Uh, does this vial
look familiar to you?

Yeah. Yeah, that's mine.

Mr. Mariposa must
have dropped it.

Who? Excuse me.

My boss.

He had a horrible
cold last month,

so I lent him my prescription.

How old's your boss?

Around 42, I imagine.

What's his first name?

Tony. Anthony, I mean.

And where is your boss today?

Home.

What's his address?

When I first sat down
at your table, uh...

what did you think?

I saw an angry, frightened man.

What are you
talking, "frightened"?

What do I got to
be frightened about?

I don't know.

Why don't we talk about that?

You wanna play truth or
consequence, huh, baby?

Okay by me.

We, uh, tell the truth,

or we pay the
consequence, right?

What's the consequence?

What do you think?

WOMAN [OVER RADIO]:
Zebra Three. Zebra Three.

Patch through
from Captain Dobey.

Yeah, captain, go ahead.

DOBEY: The third
girl, Michelle Brady.

They found her
dead on Tyler Road.

We'll be there in 20 minutes.

Follow up your
leads on Lizzie first.

And don't come back without her.

[SIGHS] It's 214 Carrington.

It's gotta be one
of these driveways

up here on the right.

Starsky, you just went by it.

[TIRES SCREECH]

Look, I'm worried
about her as you are.

I'm sorry.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

Did you...

kill those two girls?

Three.

Michelle?

My turn.

Are you, by any chance...

a cop?

Yes. I am.

My turn.

Why did you...?

No, wait.

I, uh... I have a
better question.

Tony...

would you like to,
um, turn up the music...

and dance with a lady cop?

Nobody home?

There's a car in the garage.

It's a three-car garage.

Well, what do you think, huh?

Well, if we don't find out
something pretty soon,

we're gonna have another
dead body on our hands.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

No. Oh, God. No!

[GASPS]

Tony...

You're not gonna
kill me, are you?

I have to, baby.

You know that.

[SOBS]

STARSKY: Well,
what are we gonna do?

Go back to the station
house and wait for a call?

I don't know, maybe the
lab's come up with something

on that, uh, fiber
from the trunk.

And, like, a make on the car.

[SNAPS] The Mercedes. What?

Mercedes. M-E-R.

That's what she was
trying to spell. Mercedes.

Only she didn't finish it.
Man, I hope you're right.

[TIRES SCREECH]

Please, Tony. Let me go.

Locked.

You had it all,
kid. You blew it.

All that love out the
window for nothing.

[WEEPING]

I got the stairs.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

Starsk.

The door.

It's time to pay the piper.

[SCREAMS]

No!

[GRUNTS]

HUTCH: Just take it easy.

Just take it easy.

Work all your life
for that dream house.

Picket fence.

What do you get?

Empty rooms.

Strangers.

It's like the old
man used to say:

"Staying alive's the main thing.

"Just hang in there, kid.

Long enough to stay alive."

That's enough, Tony. Come on.

"You'll be all right."

HUTCH: To tell you
the truth, captain,

I'm so sick of discos,
I could scream.

Well, Edith's been on my
back to take her dancing

for the last couple of months.

But the old ballrooms we
like are slowly closing up.

Get out there and
cut it up a little bit.

[LAUGHS]

I guess you two think
we're too old, huh?

STARSKY: Oh, no,
captain. Nothing like that.

It's just that, well, to
be honest with you,

I don't think you could
learn these new dances.

I've seen those
TV disco routines.

Just a rip-off from the '40s.

No kiddin'.

As a matter of fact, if it
wasn't for the big bands

and the dances of my generation,

your generation wouldn't
have your, uh, Philly Dog.

Ahem. Well, I don't know.
With a little guidance,

maybe the captain could
manage a few steps.

Manage?

With my rhythm, I'll blow
you off the dance floor.

[LAUGHS] This might
be your lucky day, captain.

What do you think?

Think we could, uh, teach
him the salsa samba?

Good idea.

I-I know the samba.

No, this is the salsa
samba, captain.

All you do is take the samba
and put a little salsa on it.

How about a little music,
huh? That's a good idea.

Grab your chair on the way out.

All right.

Okay. Get a Mexican station.

Right.

Here we go, here
we go. You got it.

There we go. [SAMBA
MUSIC PLAYING]

Okay. Now, captain, to
a simple four beat, right?

Take three steps
to your left and kick.

Then you take three
steps to your right and kick.

Now take your right hand,

put it right about here.

Gotta stomach it.

Take your left
hand, put it out there.

Mm-hmm. Right.

Captain, you are holding
one long, lovely lady.

Nice.

Okay, here we go. A-one, two...

STARSKY & HUTCH:
A-one, two, three, four.

ALL: One, two, three,
kick. One, two, three, kick.

One, two, three, kick.
One, two, three, kick.

Good, captain. That's
it. You're trucking.

One, two, three, kick.

Big strong line, right?

Hey!

Remember now.
One, two, three, kick.

She's beautiful. She's
lovely. One, two, three, kick.

Aah, two, three, kick.

One, two, huh, hey.
Okay. Gently, captain.

One, two, three, huh.
Gently. Gently, captain.

Huh, huh, huh, ha.

Huh, huh, ha! Yeah!
Do it! Oh, yeah!

I told you I'd dance
you off the floor, didn't I?

Olé!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]