Starsky and Hutch (1975–1979): Season 2, Episode 18 - Survival - full transcript

Hutch goes undercover to get a criminal and he gets enough evidence to put him away. The criminal then instructs his lawyer to make sure that he doesn't testify. So the lawyer pays one of Hutch's informants to set him up by setting up a meet. The lawyer then sends a guy to force Hutch off the road and does. But he's not dead but pinned under his car and get out. When he doesn't show up, Starsky tries to find him. A man who's not exactly sane comes across Starsky and thinks he's a spy. He goes to see Starsky but Starsky brushes him off. Hutch tries to use his radio and a boy with a ham radio picks up his transmission. And the boy calls Starsky but can't tell him where Hutch is.


Okay, let's run this thing
down one more time.

Now, when you're
ready for us to come in,

you say a code word, which is?

Suffering succotash.

Don't kid around, man.

Your life's going
to be at stake.

Starsky, I think we've
rehearsed this thing enough.

Yeah, I think you're afraid
of losing your spontaneity.


And I think you're just jealous

because I'm the
one who's going in.


Hutchinson. It begins with an H.

Hutchinson. Okay, just a second.

STARSKY: Go get it, Biggy.

You know,

I bet you're just dynamite
with the ladies, Bigalow.

Very funny, very funny.

Here you are, stock
number 14692A.


It's a desk lamp.

Well, of course
it's a desk lamp.

14692As are always desk lamps.

What did you expect,
a wastepaper basket?

Bigalow, you funny guy.

What I expected

is what's written here
on this paper, Bigalow.

It says "one transistorized
power-pack transmitter."

I'm going undercover.
I'm not decorating an office.


14692A is a desk lamp.

What are you talking about?

Look right here,

under "description
of requested material."

It says one transistorized,
power-pack transmitter.

I'll have you know, Hutchinson,
I don't read descriptions.

Nobody in my department
reads descriptions.

We only read numbers.

Then what do you
need descriptions for?

For the simpletons

who can't understand
our number system.

Starsky, Hutchinson,
you about ready?

Not quite, captain.

We still got one small problem.

Captain Dobey.

Captain Dobey, just a second.

I've got $50,000
upstairs in marked bills.

You also got a half a
dozen officers waiting,

so whatever your problem is,

you'd better get it
straightened out.


Here you are, captain. 22271R.

What is this, Bigalow,
some kind of joke?

You know what this is?

It's a transistorized
power-pack transmitter.

My requisition calls
for a desk lamp.

I'm decorating my office,
not going undercover.

Happy birthday, cap.

Thank you, Starsky.

You're welcome.

Roy Scanlon.

I'm expected.

Zebra Three. Everybody
got their positions?

Roger. We're in position.


Okay. Sit tight.


HUTCH: I'm going in.

Hey, hey, hey, Big Hump.

What's happening?

Well, if you had eyes,

you might see that I'm
loading your merchandise.

Oh, yeah.

And the name is
Humphries, Scanlon.

HUMPHRIES: Watch my mouth.


HUTCH: So you did.

So you did.

Ah, what's in a name, right?

I'll call you "Vic".

Or do you get off
on "Victor", huh?

Whatever, Scanlon. Yeah.

Off the car.

All right, let's
get to it, Victor.

I'm kind of anxious to
get home, you know.

You know the old song...

"New York, New York
It's A Wonderful Town."

Well, maybe you'd just
like to see the merchandise.

Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

That's a good idea.

Nice, Vic. Very, very nice.

HUTCH: You're going to make
my friends back on the east coast

very happy.


I assume that these...
these little beauties

come with what you call
your basic 90-day warranty?

Scanlon, I'm a busy man.

Now, if you like
the merchandise,

show me your money.

If not, the meeting's over.

Yeah, well, take it easy, Vic.

Take it easy.

I said, get off the car.

All right, Scanlon,
let's see what you got.

Fifty G, as agreed.

Aw, you're not going
to count it, Victor?

I'm flattered.

Well, don't be.

You see, I figure it's me
that's coming out ahead.

What are you talking, Vic?

Well, you know
your friends back east

are never gonna see
these little beauties here...

or you, for that matter.

Hutch is getting
ripped. Let's move.

Come on, Vic,

you're not dumb enough
to kill a cop, are you?

Get him. Get him.




Take him.


Hey, get me another
cop! Come on!

Hey, where's Humphries, huh?

Hey, you okay?

Oh, boy.

Humphries... Humphries
came right in here.

Hello. Hello yourself.

Did you see him?

Where's Humphries?
That's what I'm asking you.

Hey, come on.

How many fingers
do I got up? Huh?


Oh, beautiful. Paramedic!

I'll be right back.



Brains ain't exactly
your strong suit,

are they, sweetheart?

Get out.


Head still hurting?


Wanna bite?

You had to ask, didn't you?

It's good.

Good for you.

You know something, Starsk?

When they do your autopsy,

they're going to find
a petrified beef burrito.

Mm-hmm, with onions.

Well, well,

Detectives Starsky
and Hutchinson.

The dynamic duo.

I hope I'm not
interrupting your lunch.

You are, but that's okay.

I just lost my appetite
as soon as you arrived.

Oh, come on, Starsk, lighten up.

This guy's got a
pretty difficult few days

ahead of him.

I forgot.

This is the eminent Mr. Balford

that's representing
Vic Humphries.

Well, beats chasing ambulances.

If you gentlemen are through,

I'd like a copy of
the arrest report.

With pleasure.

I wouldn't read that out loud
to your client if I were you.

He's depressed enough as it is.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

What are you doing here?

I thought you were disbarred.

What do you mean
it's gonna be rough?

Well, Victor, they've got us
boxed in this time, you know?

With Hutchinson's testimony,

they've got us
nailed to the wall.

Us, huh?

I am the one in
the jail, counselor.

Are you trying to tell me

that we don't have
any options at all?

Not with that blond
cop's testimony.

And if he doesn't testify?

Oh, the case goes
out the window.

See, he was the inside man.

Then we do have
one option, don't we?

I've got the perfect alibi,

because you're
going to see to it

that I don't get out
on bail until tomorrow.


Killing a cop, uh...

that's a bad idea.

Well, you got a better one?

If not, then you'd just better
shut up and listen, counselor.

Now, you get Lou Scobie for me.

Lou Scobie?

no real national energy policy.

I'll tell you something...


What you need to do

is make contact

with the people that
I believe do care.

The representatives
who want to be elected...


The same ones who
fight the seniority system

with all their might...

until they gain seniority.

Ooh! Ow!

They need you to put
them back into office.


KBEX, on the line with
Michael Jackson. Hello?

Yeah? Speak to me.

MAN'S VOICE: Hutch? This is Lou.

Who? Lou Scobie.

HUTCH: Yeah, what is it, Lou?

I got a biggie for you

on that murder/extortion ring
you've been trying to bust open.

Yeah, well, you
know something, Lou?

The last hot tip you gave me,

it took me two weeks to unthaw.

Can you give me a hint?

Yeah. I know who's
doing the burning.

Who's that?


All right, Lou, same place?

No, no.

I think they're
watching me there.

You know where
Barnaby's Tavern is?

Yeah. Why way out there?

Because right now,

that's the only
place I feel safe.

Well, look, Lou.

Uh, I'm gonna send
Starsky out there to meet you.

No. No Starsky.

I don't trust him.

You come yourself or forget it.


All right, Lou. I'll see
you in 20 minutes.

I guess I was okay, huh?

Yeah. Now just one more thing.

Uh, Hutchinson's car,
what does it look like?

Uh, I think it's a Ford,
'72 or '73, light brown.

You were just fine, yeah.


Well, uh... don't miss, huh?

Don't worry.

Your cop friend

will never get off that
mountain road alive.


the hurricane season
starting here in this country.

Hundreds of thousands of
people in a mass migration,

a move by good Samaritan
after good Samaritan.

The problem is

we have to know and
understand the problem

before we can get involved,

and that's what I mean by a
communication breakdown.

Right now, out there,

there is somebody
walking home, needing help.

The reason he's not getting any,

or she isn't...

is because I didn't know,
you didn't know, we don't know

who you are or where
you are or what you want.

Until tomorrow,
thanks for the company.

Thanks for your involvement.

I'm Michael Jackson, KBEX.


[WEAKLY] This is Zebra Three...

to Central.

Please come in.

This is Zebra Three to Central.

This is an emergency.
Please, please come in.



[SCREAMS] Hello, up there!

[ECHOING] Hello, up there!

[SCREAMS] Can anybody
hear me? I'm trapped.



All America on
wheels. What a joke.

No, I can't relieve
an officer's duty

every time something
like this happens.

I'm not talking
about every time.

I'm talking about right now.

I'm tellin' you, captain.
This ain't Hutch's style.

You know what, Starsky?

You're acting like a mother hen.

Just because he
stood this girl up...

Maybe he found something
more important to do with his time.

More important
than coming to work?

More important
than making a call?

That's good, Smitty.


See you next week.

See you, Smitty.

Captain, I may not know
a lot about a lot of things.

But there's one thing
I know about Hutch.

He's a creature of habit.
He does things a certain way.

He's not about to cook a
meal for a beautiful lady

and then go off and
forget them both.

Something's wrong.
I got a feeling.

All right. Take as
much time as you need.


I'm taking your
name off the roster,

just for today.



Make sure you let me
know what happens.

MAN: ♪ ...The glory Of
the coming of the Lord ♪

♪ He is trampling out the... ♪
HUTCH: You, up there!

You, up there, I'm
trapped under my car!

I need help!

♪ ...Goes marching on ♪

♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪
You, up there!

I need help!

♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪
I'm down in the canyon!

♪ His truth goes marching on ♪


Am I glad to see you.

I was beginning to think
I wasn't going to make it.

You wouldn't happen to have
any water, by any chance?

Maybe, for openers,

you could take
some of the pressure

off this leg.

You with the 105th?


I'm a police officer.

MP, huh?

Where's your uniform, MP?

I don't wear a uniform.

I'm a detective with
the police department.

Who am I talking to?

Colonel Sonny McPherson.

53rd Infantry.

Where are we, colonel?

What's the matter, boy?

Got knocked in the head?

This here's occupied France.

Now, I'm gonna ask you again.

Are you with the 105th
Armor or ain't you?

Yeah, that's my
outfit, all right.


I guess I must have
gotten separated.

Maybe you could help
me get back to my unit

and take some of the
pressure off this leg!

You speak pretty
good English for a Jerry.

You see, there
ain't no 105th Armor.

Goddamn, I got me a spy.

You got me wrong, colonel.

No, no, I ain't got
nothing wrong.

You're a German
soldier in civilian clothes.

I could shoot you right now.

I'm gonna get
myself another medal.



Detective Starsky. Now,
what can I do for you?

Nothing much.

I heard you managed
to spring your friend here.

I just wanted to be the first
to say I'm sorry it happened.

We don't have to listen to this.

I've just got one question.

Where were you
the last 24 hours?


Working for my client.

Does that include making sure

the prosecution's key
witness doesn't show up?

Now, what's that
supposed to mean?

My, my.

Aren't we shocked and outraged.

You been coaching him, Balford?

Well, you're way
off base, uh, Starsky.

I mean, way off.

But I'll tell you this.

If someone did hit on him...

I'd be the first to
congratulate him.

If something happened to Hutch,

and you're the man,

I'm going to come
after you myself.

Ain't no lawyer in the world
be able to help you then.

You all saw that?

This officer struck my
client without provocation.

I mean, Detective Starsky,

I mean, you can be sure

that I will file a formal
charge of harassment


File away.

Dumb. That's what it was.

What did you hope to accomplish?

I told you, captain.
It was a reaction.

Starsky, there's got to be
a hundred other suspects

out there.

Why pick on Humphries?

Because he's got
the most to gain.


Maybe he's the only
one I could think of.

Yeah, sure. Thank you.

Some girl...

Says Huggy Bear wants
you to meet him at the Pits.

Could be about Hutch.



Hey, you made it in a hurry.

What do you got?

You know the name Roy Slater?

Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, hit man from...

Tucson. Yeah.

One very bad dude.

Loves to hurt chicks

and handle jobs other
people won't touch.


Well, the word is
he's gonna blast a cop.

It might have happened already.

I don't know.


Huh? Yeah, okay.

Uh, where do I find this guy?

I'm not sure,

but there used to be a
chick named Carla Iverson.

Used to work

at the old amusement
park in Mandalay Heights

before they tore it down.

Well, I'm not sure how
you can find her now.

If she's in this
city, I'll find her.

SONNY: Must have
been 15,000 of us,

marching down
Pennsylvania Avenue...

Washington D.C.

Fifteen thousand.

We were living in tents...

shacks made out
of old newspapers.

Sonny, I'm going to
die if you don't help me.


You have to help me.

You're a Jerry. I
don't have to help you.

Do you know how many
of my people, of my friends

that you killed?

You know, I don't
even have to stay here.


I can send an armored
patrol to pick you up.

Don't go.

Colonel, colonel, don't go.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You were telling
me about MacArthur,

about meeting MacArthur...

about the Bonus March.

Yeah, there was 15,000 of us.

You know, we
were living in tents...

shacks made out
of old newspapers.


Would you take this, please?

It's my ID.

Take this to Sergeant
David Starsky...

Metropolitan division,
police headquarters.

You don't want to hear nothing.

You don't want to hear no how.

Help me.

No. I don't have
to listen to you.

My name is Colonel
Sonny McPherson.

The war is over. Help me.

I can't help.

I can't...

♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪♪

Business must be
good downstairs.

You cold?

Put your $20 on the table
here where I can see it.

You haven't got all night.

What do you want, cop?

Roy Slater.

Roy Slater?

It's important.


Roy Slater is part of my past,

and I'd just as soon
forget about him, okay?


for you.

Not for me.

This where he comes to
when he comes in town?

Carla, tell me
about his victims.

I don't know what
you're talking about,


What happened to your hand?

Nothing. It was an accident.

What happened?


How did it happen?

Do you know what I think, Carla?

I think you know a
lot about his victims.

I think you're afraid

of becoming one of his victims

if you say the wrong
thing to the wrong person...

or to a cop.

Isn't that so?

Look, he's crazy.

You don't know how
mean he can get.

Where is he?

You know, someone
very, very, very close to me

might be dead
because of your friend.

And I've got no way of knowing

unless I can find
him, and I can ask him.

And I can only give
you one thing in return.

And that's the chance
never to see Roy Slater again.

Hotel Garvey.


Hotel Garvey.


Eleven, Ocean Eleven,

please respond to a 415

at the Mandalay Heights
Amusement Park...

Okay, Mildred, let's
see if you can hear me.

This is Zebra Three to Central.

This is Zebra Three to Central.

This is an emergency. Over.

Units in the vicinity
of East Brewer,

a 211 in progress

at the corner of
Brewer and Denton.

Oh, come on, Mildred.

Roger. This is Ocean
Nine in the vicinity...


Come on, Mildred. This
is an emergency, baby.


In progress at that address.

Zebra six, Zebra
nine, and Zebra 12,

proceed with extreme caution.

They are armed and dangerous.

Repeat, proceed
with extreme caution.

How about the rest of
you radio freaks out there?

This is... an emergency.




HUTCH: Officer needs help.


Officer needs help...

I'm in a canyon six miles...


Find Sonny...

Sonny thinks he's a colonel.

He can tell you my location...


Bobby, get my zipper, would you?


Don't you shush me, young man.

Mom, there's somebody
in trouble out here.

I think it's a police
officer. I heard him.

Well, that's a new one.


Well, even if it was so,

how do you know
where it's coming from?

Didn't you tell me this
thing picks up signals

from all over the world?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, then, let
some police officer

take care of their own.

This room is a mess.

Don't you have work to do?

Bobby, get back
to your homework.


I can't be spending
all my time with you.

I have a date tonight.

Turn it off now.

Bobby, turn it off.


Good night.



Slater? Police.





Give it up.


You're not even close.

Aah, aah, aah!


All right, what you got?

Got the feedback on
those numbers they found

in Slater's apartment.

Guess who one
of them belongs to.

Who? The eminent James Balford.

That's Humphrie" attorney.


Well, what about the truck?

Just as you thought,
it was in an accident,

and whatever it hit
was painted brown...

just like Hutch's car.

That's wonderful.

We've got circumstantial
evidence against a dead man,

a phone number found
on a piece of paper

belonging to the guy
that set him up, maybe.


Sounds to me like
Humphries is the winner.

Yeah, but how do we get him?
One of you, answer the phone?

Never mind. I'll do it myself.

What are you, drawing
pictures, Wofford?

Dobey here.

I'm looking for
Sergeant Starsky.


Starsky, I got a ham
operator on the phone.

Sounds like a kid.

Says he's been
receiving radio signals

from what he thinks
is an injured officer.

I'm Colonel Sonny McPherson.

I captured a German
spy up in the hills.

What was he carrying,
a fifth of Muscatel?

Will someone get
this drunk out of here?

No, no, I'm Colonel McPherson.

Norton, would you see the
old gentlemen home, please?

No, you have to understand.
You have to understand.

Why can't anybody ever
listen to anyone anymore?

See? What'd I tell you, man?

I told you I saw a flash.


Hey, Lance, come here, man.

Look at this. There's
somebody in this car.

Come on. Hey. Hold on.

I think we got us a cop.


Look at all the credit cards.

Harry will give us good
money for these things.


continued aggressions

formulated by the Yankee
imperialist governments

of the west.

This is Radio
Moscow signing off.

That's the frequency he was on,

but he just stopped

When did it stop?

Just before you got here.

It never was very strong.

And you got no hint as to
where it might be coming from?

Sometimes, a
signal gets magnified

depending upon where
it's broadcasting from.

What you're saying

is that no matter how
far away it might be,

it might sound like it's
coming from next door.


A signal coming from
the other side of the world

sounds like it's next
door, and vice versa.

Look... think real hard, Bobby.

Did he say anything,
anything else,

that might help me?

He said somebody's
name a couple of times...

Uh, it was really crazy.

He said something like...


Yeah, something
like that. Sonny.

You see, Sonny
thinks he's colonel.

Thinks he's colonel...

Oh, my God.

You got a telephone around here?

There's one in the living
room, but this one's faster.

Why don't you come down
to the station sometime, huh?

I'll show you the
communications center.

Oh, that'd be great.

All right, I'm here.

Captain, this is Starsky.

That old geezer
n the military outfit,

is her still there?

No, we got him out of here
right after you left. Why?

He might know where Hutch is.

What did you do, drunk tank?

No, we had an ordinance

to take him back to the
Veterans Administration.

That's where he hangs out.



Vic? Harry Trask.

Yeah, Harry. What's up?

Well, word is that
you're real interested

in a cop named Hutchinson.

Anything to it?

You must be
hearing things, Harry.

Well, then I guess
you're not interested

if this cop's dead
or alive, huh?

What are you getting at?

I just bought
Hutchinson's credit cards

off a couple of punks.

They say they found
him pinned under his car

up in the hills...

very much alive.

Now, your boys

must be getting
a little sloppy, Vic.

Yeah, there'll be a grand
in this for you, Harry.

If Sonny's in any
trouble, I'd like to help.

No, he's not in any trouble.

He's kind of a weird old bird,

but if he's been
bothering someone again...

Nothing like that.

I was hoping he could
help me find someone.

This way.

Well, if that
someone's in the city,

then Sonny's your man.


The last 30 years
or so, what I hear,

he's covered it all
probably a dozen times.

Looking for spies, huh?

Yeah, and doing
reconnaissance work.

That's what he
did in the real war,

until a couple of
shells hit too close.

If Sonny's on the grounds,

I think you'll find
him over there.

Why over there?

It's quiet. It's peaceful.

A lot of our
people like it there.

Hey, look, do you mind if
I take care of this myself?

All right. Sergeant Starsky...


He's a real sweet old guy.

He doesn't hurt anybody.




I'm sorry, I can't give
you those extra rations.

I had to send them
up to the 4th Battalion.

They're all out, you know.

Colonel, sir, I'm
Sergeant Starsky.

You came to see me
about a German prisoner?

Oh, yes, the fifth sector.

Over here.

Now, I've sent an armored patrol

to take care of him.

Where I could use
you, if you're available...


is over here in the west end.



I've been ordered
to pick him up.


But he's to be shot.

Spy, you know.

Civilian clothes and all that.

Allied Command, sir.

They want him.

They think he might
be very important.


Yes, sir.

They think he might
be the key to the war.

Is this the fifth sector?

He's important?

Yes, sir.

I found him, you know.

Yes, sir.

Can you tell us exactly
where we can pick him up?


Now, the fifth longitude...


Crossed by line H.


Off the canyon road, here...

16 telephone poles
from this bridge.

Thank you, sir.



Hutch? Hutch?



We made it, partner.

And what happened
to Humphries' lawyer,

the smiling barracuda, huh?

He ain't smilin' anymore.

Not after that bail
the judge set on him.

Hee hee. That's too bad.

He was one of
my favorite people.

Hey... where are we going?

Taking you for a little stroll.

What for?

Surprise, surprise.

What for?

I wanna let you take a
peek at your new wheels.

Oh, Starsky, you
know I love you,

but our taste in wheels don't
exactly match, you know?

Yeah. I know. Mine's better.

Yes, sir. You're gonna
love this little buggy.

A genuine Hutchinson original...

Or I should say a
replica of the same?

Complete with assorted dents,
dings, and putrefied upholstery.

Not to mention,

there's an added extra
which I'm going throw in

just because I like your face.



What's the matter?
Don't you like it?


It's beautiful.

It's... It's just beautiful.

That's what I was afraid
you were going to say.