Starsky and Hutch (1975–1979): Season 2, Episode 15 - The Psychic - full transcript

After Starsky and Hutch successfully chase down a transvestite shoplifter violating his parole, they get a tip from a Huggy Bear about a dead body. The flamboyant jive-talker got his information from Joe Collandra, formerly a stage psychic, now the owner of a diner, who was just showing off and now regrets it. Collandra's previous stint at using his paranormal abilities to help the police resulted in misery for the beleaguered ex-showman, and now he wants nothing to do with psychic detection. The trouble is, his vision of a dead body, in a place that is very like an amusement park, proves to be true. And now the skeptical Starsky and the believing Hutch need his help in a crime the dead man was involved with: the kidnapping of a schoolgirl, the daughter of a wealthy football team owner.






Where's he going?

If you ever catch
him, you can ask him.

If I ever catch him, I
won't have to ask him.



Hey, what's going on?

About 20 more minutes
and a dash more of oregano.

Aw, Fireball.

All right.

Kill me. Kill me.

What for? Shoplifting?

Shoplifting to you.

It's a violation
of parole for me.

That's two years
back in the joint.

Go ahead and shoot.

No, no.

You're not gonna shoot?

Well, look at it
this way, Fireball.

We're gonna do you a favor.

I mean, I wouldn't
be caught dead

in a dress like that.

Oh, I don't know,

you look rather nice in
basic black and pearls.

What happened to you? Don't ask.

Come on.

Well, I wonder
what the idle rich

are up to this morning.

Any minute now.

Morning, Daddy.

Hi, sweetheart.


Did you look in on Mom?


She's still asleep.

Oh, good.

Oh, now, that's breakfast?

Nag, nag, nag.

Papers still want
you to fire Billy

and hire Parsegian?

You know, sometimes I think

the best part about
owning a football team is,

no matter how many
games you lose,

no one can fire you.

You haven't been talking
to the kids in my school.

Oh, swell.

Well, I've got to go or
I'm gonna miss my ride.

Bye, Daddy.

Bye, honey.



Here we go.


Oh, hi, Julio.

Are you here to pick up the car?

Well, you see, Miss Haymes,

it's, uh, important
that I talk to your father

up at the house.


You keep on
fighting, little girl,

and we'll kill you right now.

Hey. Hey, hey. Come on now.

Remember? Nobody's
supposed to get hurt.

You're not gonna
have to worry about it,


Now, get in the van.

Get in!

HUTCH: Thank you.


You want to get the door for me,



Would you get the
door for me, please?

All right, wait a second.

Please, Starsk.

I'm coming.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Do you want to hold this for me,

Starsky, please?

I've only got two hands.

Well, put one of them down.

Thank you.

Breakfast at last.

Here, I'll take that.

Thank you.

I can't eat this.
It's too greasy.


Will you please be careful?

You're gonna spill the...

See what you did
all over my seats?

You know, Starsky,

the underlying
hostility that triggers

bursts of temper like that

is usually associated
with immaturity.

Oh, I see, just because

I don't want you to
spill your breakfast

all over my seats,

suddenly I'm immature.

I never said that.

No, what you're
saying is that I'm hostile,

which makes me immature.

Well, I'd like to know
where you get off

thinking that I'm hostile.

Three. Zebra three.

Come in, please.

What do you want?

Bad mood again, huh, Starsky?

Hey, look, Starsk,
let me take it, huh?


This is Zebra Three.
Go ahead, please.

We have report of a dead body

at J.C. Cafe, Fifth and Foster.

See the man named Huggy.

What's Huggy doing there?

We're on our way.

Well, don't blame him.

Let's go.

Well, will you
hold this, please?

I've only got two hands.

Hug, where's the body?


Where giant, happy
wheels climb to the sky

and pretty, dead horses

grazing in the sun,

that's where you'll find

the last of the remains.

What are you talking about?

Hug, don't clown around.

You know something
about a dead body?

Hey, I don't know nothing,

but he does.

You know who he is?

We just got here.

How am I supposed
to know who he is?

Just give him a
chance. Who is he?



Yeah. Used to be called Collins.


Collins. The Amazing Collins.

He took that name

after all that
ethnic pride jive hit,

but now when
we hit the big time,

he's gonna be called
Collandra the Great.

The only 'Amazing Collins'
I ever heard of was a...


A psychic?


A psychic.


Where pretty, dead horses

grazing in the sun

and giant, happy sky wheels

climb to the sky...

Now, wait one second here.

What was he talking about?

What he's talking
about is he's crazy,

that's what he's talking about.

I told him not to call you.

That guy's a two-bit hustler
trying to make a fast buck.

Now, listen, you
guys, you hungry,

you want to sit down,
have something to eat?

That's fine.

Otherwise, will you
please get out of here?

I'm busy. I got a place to run.

What are you talking about, Joe?

That's all I was
telling this guy.

I was just giving him some bull

just to get him going.

Atlantic City.

Four years ago,

you helped the police find
the body of a missing boy,

didn't you?

That was a...

another part of my life.

That's a long time ago.

Yeah, the guy's a phony.

He just admitted it. Come on.

That's right.

Listen to your
partner, will you?

Even if I seen a
guy that was dead,

you couldn't do
him any good now.

Will you come on?

Hey, you want a real
psychic prediction?

A tomato. A big, red tomato.

Red, uh, white,

stripes, wheels,

rubber wheels, mags,

and the wheels
are going bye-bye.

He's getting another vision.

It's like a giant movie screen

inside his head.

It's not inside my head.

It's right outside the door.

It's your red car, fella.

Two kids got it jacked up

and they're
ripping off the tires.

That's my red car!



Okay, man.

Hey, Dick Tracy, okay, already.

You got us.

Catch your breath.

Take it easy.


The long arm of the law

captures the two
hardened desperadoes.

You get caught
again, you're in trouble.

Now, beat it.

You know something, Starsk?

You, of all people,
ought to know

you shouldn't leave
the keys in the ignition.


Why aren't they out

playing football or something?

Hey, maybe they were trying

to raise enough money
to buy the equipment.

Please, Huggy.

According to my partner,

I'm feeling a little
too hostile today

for social comment.


What do you want to do
about Huggy and his friend?

Well, what's to do?

Unless you want to haul Huggy in

for filing a false report

on a dead body.

Hey, hold on a minute now.

You should have seen him.

Collandra started telling me

about a guy in a
small, dark place

and how he was
bleeding pretty bad

and he could hardly breathe.

Hey, wait a minute. Sure, Hug.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Where was it again
that Collandra said

we could find the dead body?

He said something

about pretty, dead horses.

Pretty, dead horses
grazing in the sun.

Grazing in the sun?

What are you talking about?

Now, what else, Hug?

What else?

And giant, happy wheels
that climb to the sky.

Giant, happy wheels.


Do you know, everything that
Collandra was talking about

could be an amusement park.

Well, Seaside Amusement Park

is what, three blocks
away from here?

What have we got to lose?

Hutch, the guy's a phony.

Well, maybe he is...

and maybe he isn't.

I mean, who knows

what a guy like that has to do

to make a living
in this business.

Maybe he is right.

Maybe there are things
that he can see and feel

that most of us can't.

You mean, like the lady

who predicted the Russians

would be the first
to land on the moon?

Well, how can you
be so sure they didn't?

I'm never wrong.

Watch it.

And you tell me I do
some weird things.


You know, I had
this dream one time.

I've been meaning to
talk to you about that.

Thanks, Hug.

Starsky, there.

The giant wheels
that climb in the sky.


Stop, stop!

What for?

What's that?

That's a merry-go-round.

That's pretty, dead horses

grazing in the sun,

is what it is.

That's a pretty good

stretch of the imagination.




Turn around.

Yeah, what did I tell you?

This thing looks like it's
been here for months.


You got a handkerchief?

What for? To blow my nose.

Fingerprints, dummy.

Oh. No, no. Here.

Use this.

Well, wait a minute.

I can do it. I can do it.

can do it. I can do it.

I don't believe it.

You don't believe it?

I wonder who the man is.

I got a better question for you.

I wonder how Collandra
really knew he was here.

She's strong, man.

Come on, come on.

Keep an eye on her.


Three, Zebra Three.

The stolen light blue van

found at the Seaside
Amusement Park

is registered to a carwash
on Fifth and Devon.

See the owner.

Also, no further report

from the Atlantic City
Police Department

on a Joe Collandra.

Still checking.

HUTCH: Starsk, I don't know

why you can't at least
accept the possibility.

I mean, what if the
Atlantic City P.D.

says that Collandra
really is a psychic?

Then maybe somebody
ought to check out

the Atlantic City
Police Department.

Come on.

Pronto it up there, Pablo.

Mario, put some elbow in that.

Come on. You the
boss around here?


What can I do for you guys?

Uh, steam clean the
engine? Wash? Hot wax?

Oh. Did you bring my truck back?

You'll have to go to
the impound for that.

Come on, work on that hubcap.

Can you tell us

if this guy ever worked here?

Never saw him before.

He the one that stole it?
What happened to him?

Come on, put a little
elbow on that windshield.

He went to the Elysian Fields

where fat, little babies
with blond, curly hair

play harps.

The man's dead.

Get the rear-view
mirror there, will you?

You know, Hutch, I think perhaps

we ought to have
Immigration down here

to check this joint out.

That's a good idea, Starsk.


Hey, come on, fat man.

Immigration'd have a field day

in a place like this.



Now I remember.

His, uh, name was Julio.


It's kind of hard, you
know? They all look alike.

Julio Gutierrez.

Gutierrez. Good.

Now maybe you can tell us

something about him.

Well, he was a drifter.

A crap-shooter.

A big loser.

People were after him.

They were giving
him a rough time.

Yeah, where'd he hang out?

Muffler shop. Eighth and Main.

Friend's name was, uh...

Charlie, I think.

Thank you.

You know, your
humanity is surpassed

only by your honesty
and good looks?

Three, Zebra Three.

Come in, please.

Yeah, I'm coming, I'm
coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.

Zebra Three. Go ahead.

Patching you through
to Captain Dobey.

This is Dobey.

I want you two to meet me

at Joe Haymes' estate.

2727 Beechnut Avenue.

Captain, we're in the middle

of a homicide investigation.

We've got a possible
name and address.

You'll just have to put
that aside for right now.

We've got a live one going.

A kidnapping.

I want you two on it.

Well, give us about
five minutes, huh?

Hey, doesn't Joe Haymes

own some football team?

Yeah, the Turbos.


Catch the coincidence.

It's a small world, isn't it?

Daddy, they promise
not to hurt me

if you do just what they say.

Tell Mom not to worry.

I'm fine and... [SCREAMS]

MAN: What do you
think we're running here,

the telephone company?

Please. [SCREAMS]

The mother has
a heart condition.

Doctor has her
under sedation now.

Listen very closely
to what I have to say.

I will telephone you

at exactly five
o'clock this afternoon.

By that time,

you will have
collected $200,000.

$100,000 in twenties

and the other 100
in fives and tens.

All money is to be used
and out of sequence.

The money should be
packed in a duffel bag.

When I phone you

at five o'clock this afternoon,

I will tell you

where and when to
deliver the money.

If you call in the police

or try to mark the money,

if you do anything
to try and trap me,

I assure you,

we will break off all contact
and your daughter will die.

Well, that gives us
five and a half hours.

Mr. Haymes, I presume
you're arranging for the money.

That's right.

Everything inside
me tells me it's wrong.

You can't deal with people

that use kidnapping
and terror as a weapon,

and at the same time...

She's your daughter.

I-I-I-I don't know
what I'm going to do

when the time comes
to turn over the money.

They say the F.B.I. can't help
because 24 hours hasn't gone by.

Captain Dobey says that
you're the best he has.

I'm-I'm asking you to help me.

Level with him.

Mr. Haymes,

you can make a deal
with a professional thief.

They stick to the rules.

Kidnappers are usually...


They're more dangerous.

You're not offering much hope.

Mr. Haymes, there's always hope.

What my partner's
trying to tell you

is that it's better to
know what's going on

as you go into this thing.

Don't count on anything.

I understand.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to stay right here,
where they can reach you,

and most importantly,
cooperate with them,


Meanwhile, my partner and I

will be out on the streets

trying to break this thing open
before the ransom's dropped.

Mr. Haymes,

do you ever go to that carwash

across the street
from your office?


Do they ever come here?

Yeah, yeah. For my wife's car.

Do you know a man

by the name of Julio Gutierrez?


Yeah, he's the kid

who comes and gets the car.

I think we just tied the
two crimes into one.

Julio Gutierrez

is the reason the
girl didn't scream.

She knew him.

She probably wasn't scared

until it was too late.

Then you can pick Julio up.

We've already done that.

He's dead.

You know, what probably happened

was that he was killed

after the kidnappers
got what they wanted.

Let me go.


I'll get you the money.

I won't tell anybody.

My mother's really sick.

Cut it out, Earl.

Fat Moo-Moo.

I ought to stick you like a pig.

You don't tell Earl.


Okay, Earl.

It's time to go.

Goodbye, apple pie.

It's been a pleasure.

We gonna tell her
daddy where she is

if he pays off?

Are you kidding me?

Hey, what do you guys want now?

Can't you see I'm busy?

We found this guy

right where you said he'd be.

Where giant, happy wheels

turn around.

We got a problem.

What you didn't tell
us about that dead man

is he's part of a
kidnapping gang

that just grabbed
an 18-year-old girl,

a girl we now have
less than four hours

to find.

We want to know how
much more you know,


and we'd like to know
how you happened to know.

The guy used to
have coffee in here.


I guess that's why
I tripped on him.

You don't believe me, do you?

Why don't you
listen to your partner?

He believes me.

Look, we spoke to Atlantic City.

There's a lot of people

with a bad taste in their mouth

about you.

There's a lot of people

that think

that you helped set up
that kidnapping back there

and that you were
wired into solving it.

Now, you came up
with an awful lot of clues.

Clues that only a
psychic or a kidnapper

might have access to.

The old man gave you $10,000.

You had TV bookings
and nightclub acts...

And you think that I
set up this kidnapping?

Listen, you book me right now

or you get the hell
out of my place.

You want to know
why I quit the business?

I'll tell you.

Because every
time I turned around,

somebody wanted
to know what I see,

and when it didn't turn
out the way that they liked,

they blamed me.

Yeah, I took money
from the kid's old man.

What do you expect?

You think a mind reader lives
on a grant from the government?

Now, book me or get out!


If you're not involved,
would you help us?

No. Never again.

You found that
kid in Atlantic City.

Would you help
us find this girl?

I found the kid in
Atlantic City dead.

That was a long time

and a lot of cheap
club dates ago.

That was...

I can't focus on a single thing.

I can't do it on a girl.

My head, when I turn it on,

it's like a TV set without
a channel selector.

A lot of people
think it's a gift.

Well, how'd you
like to go to a party

and everybody there is
laughing and having a good time,

and you know that
the guy across the room

is gonna be dead in a week?

Or how'd you like to come back

from three weeks on the road

and know that your loving wife

has been with somebody else?

The answer is no.

Well, if you change your mind...

Ow. 21.


It's... Oh, no, it's not 21.

It's... It's two, one,
one. What is that?

2-11 is an armed
robbery in progress.

Well, then you better get
to the bar down the block

because it's being robbed.


What is..?



All right, lady. Drop it.

Now, lady, we're policemen.

So, would you be kind enough

to put your hands
against the bar?

That's it.

You're no lady.

I've had it.

No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Book her. Him.

We'll file our report later.

Well, we got nothing
from Collandra

and we're running out of time.

What do you say?

Well, let's check out
that Julio lead, huh?

Find out where he hung out.

Where was that muffler shop?

On Eighth and Main.

Let's jump to it.

Give me a hand. Give me a hand.





You know where Charlie is?

I'm Charlie.

Hello, Charlie.

This is Starsky.

I'm Hutch.

Charlie what?

My last name's Syreen...

as in wail...

and I don't mean the fish, baby.

Oh, boy.

Uh, we're policemen.

I ain't prejudiced.

I'm a mathematician
studying for my doctor-ate.




I'm really a basketball
player in drag.

Whatever turns you on, honey.

What's this about?

Did you know a Julio Gutierrez?


He was my old man
three, four months ago.

Something wrong?

He's dead.

Oh, no.

Yeah, he was murdered by...

his partners,

and we're looking for them.


what was Julio into?

Julio... was a gambling man.


but I didn't know nothing
about his business, Mister.

Who did he gamble with?

The only cat big enough

to give him that
kind of trouble...

was the Korean over
on Broadway and Main.

Runs a back-room dice game.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

How much time?

Time's running out.

We have three hours.

Get me Starsky and Hutch.


We're gonna put out an APB

on a six-foot male rose

that's on fire.

Will you come on, please?

Wait a minute, will you?

What kind of a rose was it, Joe?

Was it red, yellow, white, what?

It was...

orange, maybe...

with little pearly dew drops.

I don't know any more.

I mean, my head hurts...

But listen...

if you find a place or a person

that's connected to a rose,

then you call me

and I'll be able to
tell if it rings true.

Would you come
on? We got two hours.

Let's get cracking.

Okay, okay.

Listen, uh, we got to go.

We'll check you later.

Let's go see that Korean

Julio used to gamble with.


Do you know Julio Gutierrez?

Did you know he was dead?

About the man...

he gambled here.

He owed you lots of money.

He was being pushed to pay up.

We think he's
involved in a kidnapping

with some other men.

We want those
other men, Su Long.

We don't have much time,

and we want you to tell us
what you know. Everything.

Or we're going to tear
this little Shangri-La apart,

piece by piece.

How much ransom?


Gambling, numbers, girls.



I don't go for
that kind of action.

No capital offenses.

Now, what I say
from this point on

is said without prejudice to me

and not for use
in a court of law.

You got it.

We are being tape recorded.

Julio said he was in on
some kind of big score

and would pay me off.

Any names?

Only one.


Who's that?


From Philly,

staying out somewhere
near the airport, I think.

You got a telephone?

Right here.

Raymond, I got a suspect.

I want you to run
him through R & I.

His name is Moo-Moo.

Moo-Moo. Possibly
out of Philadelphia.

Make it fast, huh?

This is the part I like best.


You've called in
the cops, Haymes.

We could kill your
little girl right now

and it would be all your fault.

Do you understand me?

Well, you're just lucky that
we're smarter than you are.

You got one more chance, Haymes.

Listen up.

We're changing all the rules,

and from this point,
you got no more time.

You play games this time,

you don't even want to know

how your little
girl is gonna die.

HAYMES: My God. Listen. Please!

MOO-MOO: You listen.

Here's the new rules.

You get a delivery man

and he carries the money

in the duffel bag.

He starts at a pay phone

at the All-Rite Autopart,

317 Almont.

The pay phone will ring
at exactly four o'clock

and tell him
where to go to next.

If he doesn't make it, Haymes,

your girl is dead.

What have we got?

Two guys.

Marshall "Moo-Moo"
Caifano, Earl Pola.

The dead phone stunt
could be the same thing

they pulled in Philadelphia.

Change the plan of the drop

at the last minute.

Even bumped off their contact.

I mean, it's the same
as they did with Julio.

Right, and then
kill the delivery boy

after the ransom's dropped off.

The victim's never found.


Look, listen, I've had it.

I'm gonna get the money
and make the delivery.

No, you're not.

Your wife's gonna need you.

And you're not fast
enough anymore.

And if you try anything,

we'll arrest you.

What do you want?

Heads or tails?



What are you doing with that?

Little bird thought I might
need a little extra reach.

With an elephant gun?

You don't like it, don't
go out in the streets.

In case you've forgotten,
they're gonna try to kill you.

You think that's something,
wait until you see my bike.

Oh, you got a motorcycle too?

Yeah, well, how else am
I gonna keep up with you?


it's a one-way communication.

You send and Starsky receives,

so keep on sending.

Here's the money.

You know you
don't have to do this.

Yes, I do, Captain.

Will you put that away?

What are you gonna spend it on?

Well, I thought I'd get
some flowers for you.

You sure you know
what you're doing

on that thing, huh?


What've you got a dirt bike

on the street for?

Got enough gas?


Check the oil?


How about the
chain? Tight enough?


Air pressure?

You got me.

Shoes tied?


Don't step on them.


You be careful.



You got 90 seconds
to get to the next one.

Go east on Sinclair.
516. Don's Arcade.


HUTCH: 515 Sinclair.
Make that 516.





Get away from that phone!

Get away from that phone!

Not bad, clown.

Why don't we talk?

Save your breath, creep.

You're gonna need it.

From now on,

you only got five rings.

Three blocks north
on Aurora and Pacific.

There's a laundromat.

The pay phone's in the back.

You only got a minute.

A minute flat.


Aurora and Pacific.

Aurora and Pacific.



I'm a cop!

Hey, baby, it's me.
Captain Surreal.

You ain't bad.

You're getting to every place

on time,

like a choo-choo train.

How do you feel?

I'm fine. I'm just fine.


Don't sell me, man.

Can we just talk a minute?

Get moving, baby blue.

You got our money.

There's a bar and grill.

440 Willmington.

440 Willmington.

Get over there

or we're gonna cut up the girl.

You got 30 seconds, skudge.




Let's see what
he's got in the bag.

What you got in the bag, boy?

That guy must be crazy.

Let's get him around the front.


Don't touch that phone!


What do you think
you're pulling?

What are you...

What are you talking about?

You got cops in
front of that place!

Man, she's gonna die.

We'll let her die, man!

Get the hell out of here!

I said, get out of here!

You see that? He
called the cops!




Get out of the way!

Get out of the way!


I thought you were dead.

Bullet-proof vest, remember?

I forgot.


Who the hell are you guys?


What happened to them?

They're finished.

Oh, that's terrific.

They're the only ones

who could tell us
where Joanna is.


We've still got one shot.

Take the scarf.

What do you guys want out of me?

Will you get out of here?

You don't understand
something, Joe.

We got no place to go.

You've got to
help us find the girl.

I can't. I can't.

You're no phony, Joe.

Atlantic City was no phony.

You found the boy.

You got to help
us find the girl.

It's no good...

because she's gonna be dead.

Don't you understand?

You're asking me

to live through a
nightmare again,

and I can't help you,

because it's gonna come
out the same way it did before.

She's gonna be dead.

There's still time, Joe.

Please, Joe.



A rose. I still see a rose.


Can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

Oh, oh.

Ah. Oh, there's
a crashing sound!


A flame. I see a flame.

A flame, high up in the sky.

Airplanes all around!

[WHEEZING] I can't
breathe. I can't...


The Korean said that
Moo-Moo was out by the airport.


There's a scrap yard there.

What have we got to lose?






A rose... a rose... a rose...




It's okay, sweetheart.

It's gonna be okay.

Just take it easy, now.

It's gonna be okay.

You'll be all right.

You know, as cops,

we're not allowed to accept

expensive gifts
and, uh, rewards.

What are you talking about?

You guys are
gonna pay full price...

especially if it's edible.

I don't think

that's exactly what
he had in mind.

You know, Mr. Haymes
is a very wealthy man,

and I think

it wouldn't be too bad a guess

to assume that he'd want

to give a reward to the man

who helped rescue his daughter.

Hey, wait a minute, now.

We made a deal, right?

You're gonna
start telling Haymes

that maybe I
helped find his kid,

and this place

is gonna be crawling with
reporters and crackpots.


Well, I like my
life the way it is.

As a matter of fact,

my life is getting
better all the time.

Hey. Two hamburger deluxes.

JOE: Did you
finish those dishes?


Breakfast dishes
done, floor scrubbed,

and grill cleaned.


What the hell are
you doing here?

Well, you might say I'm working

as a sorcerer's apprentice,

but soon to be

Huggerino the Magnificent,

seer of things that are,

seer of things that aren't,

and seer of things to come.

Well, Huggy, as a psychic,

I'd say you have

a few more lessons to go.

What do you mean?

I'm pickles.

He's onions.