Starsky and Hutch (1975–1979): Season 1, Episode 3 - Death Ride - full transcript

Starsky and Hutch are assigned to escort the daughter of a crime boss from San Francisco to Los Angeles, but a security leak has unleashed hordes of hit men that they must evade en route.

DA says 10 sharp.
Right to the second, baby.


Starsky, I hate that watch.

How can you hate a $360 watch?

Because you keep telling
me how much it cost.

It's the job you hate.

You mean you like
chauffeuring a hood around?

I don't know.

Andrew Mello ain't no
ordinary kind of hood.

I mean, look at his credits.

Pushing dope to
11-year-old kids...

cornering the
market on everything

from union-busting
to prostitution...

Yeah, we should feel honored.

It isn't every day

we can rush such a
public-spirited citizen

to testify before a
Senate committee.

Especially since the only
way they could bust him

was on an income-tax evasion.

It's all right, it's all
right, he's with us.

Yeah, so is he.

Yeah. I know who they are.

How come you wanted them?

Because they're the best.

You find a safe house?

Yes, sir, Mr. Coleman.

You needed the best to
get me to a safe house?

Let's not take any
chances, Andrew.


Grab those two!

Forget them. We stay with Mello!

Is it bad?

He'll live.

Get him to Memorial.

How is he?

They're taking him to Memorial.

Metro Five, this is Zebra Three.

Limousine en route
Southern Memorial Hospital

using 17th Street.

Have back-up units
to 19th and Reeves...

Two men, black leather jackets,

both injured...

There's no access from
the window, captain.


What we'll have to do then is...

leave a couple of men
out there in the corridor.

So we'll be delayed
some. It's no big deal.

All right, I'll get back to you.

Forget it. Forget it.

It's over, Coleman.

I'm not testifying.

Andrew, Kester tried to hit you.

You owe him.

You can't let him frighten you.


You think my life
means that much to me?

Only I realize now

there's someone
else I have to protect.


Not here.

You think we're the leak?

When I ran this organization...

and Kester was a
two-bit bag man...

I always had someone
in the police department

on my payroll.

What are you saying now?

I've got somebody
in my own backyard

leaking information to Kester?

How else did this happen?

I ran this town for 30 years,
and those are the realities.

All you need is the price.

Kester's got it.

And until this is resolved
to my personal satisfaction...

No testimony...

That's the way it is, gentlemen.

If you'll, uh, excuse us...

Now that you've met the boys,

Miss Treasure Chest...

Of the "Bet Your
Treasure" giveaway show.



And she's gonna wheel and deal,

and I'm going to come
on like a contestant

with all the answers.

Yeah? What can you win?

Oh, lots of loot,

cash money,
refrigerator freezer,

trip to the Bahamas, TV set.

Hey, Hutch,

you know where I
can fence a TV set?

Fence it? That's right.

You mean sell it? Sell it!

That's an idea!

Somebody tried to hit
Andrew Mello this morning.

I heard.

It had to be Kester.


So, what do you need from me?

Kester's got all the hardware

to outfit an army of hitmen,

all shapes, sizes,

local and imported.

Kester's got somebody
feeding him information.

You're losing me, baby.

We got a worm in our apple.

I dig. That's heavy.

So ask around, will you?

We'll be in touch, Hug.

Not unless me and
Mama are in the Bahamas.

Where you guys been?

Terry, bring in the cash,
the vouchers, and the, uh...

tickets, please.

As soon as you can.

Well, where you been?

Never mind.

You're going on a trip.

A vacation?

Wow, because we've
been dedicated and loyal.

Shot at.

You're going to Bryland.

Bryland? What's a Bryland?

A small town outside
of San Francisco.

All right, never mind.

Now, that "someone else"
Mello was talking about

happens to be his daughter.

Her name is...

Wells, um...

Joanne. Joanne Wells, yeah.

Now, you're being assigned
to go there, pick her up,

bring her back down, safe,

in one piece. Coleman,

this is my office, and
these are my men.

I think I can
explain this detail

without any help from you...

Go ahead.

Okay, now, Mello has a daughter

he doesn't want
anyone to know about.

He's kept her under wraps...

even had her live under another
name so she wouldn't have his.

She was educated in Europe and
came back to the San Francisco area

a couple years ago.

She's the only thing in his
life he really cares about.

And until she's back
down here, safe,

with him,

he's not going to testify.

She know what
happened this morning?


I talked to her on the phone.

She's very anxious to see him.

Okay, now, here's the address.

Given the fact there may
be a leak in the department,

this whole operation
is top security.

Now, when you leave this
office, you're on your own.

You can't call in,

you can't ask for any help,

You can't let anyone know

where you are or
what you're doing.

Is that clear? That's clear.

Now, listen, you two.

I want that girl brought here
without a scratch. You understand?

So you don't mind if we
get bruised a little bit, huh?

I understood you two could
take care of yourselves.

Knock it off, Coleman.

Now, we don't want to attract
any attention, so tomorrow morning,

you're going to catch a regularly
scheduled flight to San Francisco,

grab a cab and go to Bryland,

pick up the girl

and bring her back
here the same way.

Come in.

Here are the cash
and tickets, captain.

Give it to them.



Who'll take the cash?

Wait here.




I'd rather worry.

Me too.

So who do we trust?

Like always... me and thee.

Come in.

Thank you.

How's my father?

Oh, he's doing fine.

He's under tight security.

Were you both with
him when he was shot?

That's right, Miss Mello.

We were assigned to protect him.

Protect him?

He could have been
killed, Miss Mello.

Yes, when I heard about that,

I wondered if the police
wouldn't have liked that.

Now, wait a minute.

What we think of your father
has nothing to do with our job,

which is getting you
back to him safely.

That's what we intend to do.

I'm frightened,

and after what
happened this morning,

I don't feel that I
can trust anyone.

Now, we've got a long way to go,

and I don't know
what's out there.

Neither do we, Miss Mello.

So if you'll just
do what we ask,

stay close to us,

we'll all get along much better.

Now, we have a plane to catch.

I'm all packed.

That's one heavy bag.

Just like a woman.

Hey, nice day, huh?

I think it's a nice day.

Hey, I'm George.

Hello, George.

Look, I'm sorry
about what I said

about the police
and my father, okay?


Apology accepted.

I do understand how
you must feel about him.

Well, let's just say

your father's not one
of our favorite people.

You don't really know him...

Lady, I know your
father inside and out.

I know what he did to send you
to that fancy European college,

to buy you that
$15,000 sports car.

Hey, hey...

Look, I was never a part
of my father's business,

or whatever you want to call it.

We always kept
our lives separate.

Now he's trying
to change what...

what he's done...

Look, I'm not going to
spend this whole time

trying to defend my father.

I feel uncomfortable
enough as it is, all right?

She's got a point.


How much farther to
the airport, George?

Oh, about 15 miles.

Hey, you guys sound like cops.

We are.

Step on it, will you?

That's funny. They
don't look like cops.

What? I didn't say anything.


Green Chevy...


Something wrong?

Probably nothing.

Just watching a green Chevy.

Could be tailing us.

Tailing us?

Hey, come on.

A lot of people
go to the airport.

Where else can you
catch a plane, right?


Now, we've been
following that blue car...

So are they worried?



Where do we go from here?

The corn fields.

Well, go ahead, I'll cover you.

What the hell is this?

Get out, George.

Take George, will you?

Come on, George. Take George.

Come on, George, come
on. Come on, George.

Let's go. Go! Go!

Get out, George!

Hey, what do you mean, get out?

This is my cab!

You'll get paid
later, we'll see to it.

Hey, give him your
watch for security.

No way!

It's a terrific watch!

Hey, I can't drive a watch.

What do you mean,
it's a terrific watch?

You said you hated
this watch. Did I say that?

Here, George. You'll
be safer without us.

Relax, Dobey, relax.

going to be all right.

The worst part is
this waiting, really.

The worst part is it's wrong.

There's no need for it.

It's police work,

and we can handle it...

Without a lot of unnecessary

and dangerous James Bond jazz

from the DA's office.

I'll pretend I didn't
hear that last remark.

Hey, listen, you can
pretend you're a 747,

but that bird still
ain't going to fly.

Dobey here.

Well, when did that happen?

Are you sure about that cabbie?

Well, what about our people?


Yeah, I'll get back to you.


Marin County troopers.

Cabbie phoned in to say

he had Starsky and
Hutch and the girl

on the way to the airport.

They were hit by four hoods.

A lot of shooting.

Well, what about...?
Didn't he see...?

Last time he saw them,

they were going down
the highway in his cab...

with the hoods following.

And I told them not
to call in for help.

Where are we going?

Not to the airport...

It's the first
place they'd look.

Well, we're headed south.

We might as well keep going.

Where does this road go to?

It goes to Jenson Corners

and then it connects
with the freeway.

What, are we going
to drive all the way?

We really got no choice...

Well, why don't
we call the sheriff,

get a police escort
or something, huh?

It's safer not to give
away our location.

Fill it up, will you?

Yes, sir.

We'd better get rid of the car.

Yeah. Wait a second...

Hey, look, after
you fill her up,

could you park her in the
garage and forget you saw it?

Why would I do
a thing like that?

How many guesses do I get?

I mean, I don't know you...

What's in a name?

Or what you're up to...

I'm up to 30 bucks.


Hey, how's the food?

Well, it probably
won't kill you.

Come on.

Except maybe for the meat loaf!

Can I help you?


What's the special today?

The hot plate's meat loaf.

What about sandwiches?

Jelly, bologna and meat loaf.

Pushing the meat
loaf awfully hard.

We got a mess of it.

I'll have a cup of coffee...


I'll try the meat loaf.

You handled
yourself pretty well.

Thank you.

Most people would have
been hysterical by now.

I wonder how my father is.

Don't worry.

He's a tough old turkey.

He won't quit.

So I've heard.

Why did you say it was safer

for us not to give
away our location?

Well, whoever those jokers were,

they weren't on
our tail by accident.

Someone told them
where to pick us up.

So we're targets and we
can't even ask for help?

That's the way it is.

Starsky, that's awful.

What are you talking about?

Hey. Hey.

You got any gravy?

Just put some over the top.



Pay the man. Come on.

Purse. My purse.

And get the dishes. Right, okay.

Keep the change.


Hey, listen.

Listen. You better listen to me.

Cab's here. Truck's
blocking the door.

The fellas out there...

They're looking for you.

So maybe you ought
to tell me who you are

and just what's going...

The van. Bingo.

You're the fuzz?

Well, I heard that on the TV.

Listen, we want
to borrow your van,

and we'll leave
the cab for security.

Say, if you're the police,

just where did you get the cab?

We traded it for his watch.

Must be some watch.

$360 watch. And we
ain't gonna get it back

with no lousy
van. Starsky, later.

We got a deal?

We sure do.

I'm a good citizen,

and I believe in law and order.

You can borrow the van for 200.


Well, I got to give something
to the guy that owns it.

Two, 4, 6, 8, 10,
12, 14, 16, 18...


Where are the keys?

There ain't none.

You just twist the
wires under the dash.

You want some gas?

Yeah, it runs better.

I filled it up this morning,

and that'll cost you another 10.

Oh, Starsky, pay the man.

If I were you, I'd disappear
till those guys get out of here.

Yeah... Yeah!

Who drives?

It's your watch.

Oh, yeah.


Wait till you hear
the engine catch,

then pull out.

They couldn't have just
disappeared into thin air.

Not in a yellow cab.


Not a thing.

Where's that old man?

Hey, Pops!




I need to fill it up.

See Jenson over in the station.

He's not even around.

Well, don't tell
me your troubles.

I don't even work here.

The van.

You weren't gonna leave
without us, were you?


What's the matter?

I don't know. It ain't catching.

What are they doing?


What about? The weather.

Yeah, Mama.

They buy it?

So far...

That old man has to
be here somewhere.

Let's start checking it out.

Thorn, go around there.

You check the trailer, Deeks.

Deeks, Thorn!

They made a switch!

The taxi's still in there.

That van. They took that van!

They're behind us!

We can't outrun them, can we?

No way.

Got any ideas?

No. No.


I'm working on it.

Sorry. I just got an idea.

Hold on, I just
got another idea.


That was a great idea, Starsk.


Driving's a bit shaky.

How you doing?



Sure am.

Not exactly your style, is he?

No. But he makes up for it.

You know what
I'd like right now?

A nice cold lemonade.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Hey, Starsky.



What you got in mind?

How about a nice cold lemonade?

Yeah, with two scoops of
raspberry-ripple ice cream.

And a cup of cold beer.


I can hardly wait. How
long till we get there?

I don't know. Watch this.

Hey, Starsk.


What time do you got?

Funny, very funny.

Where have you been?

You're six hours overdue.

Yes, sir, Mr. Coleman.

I'm glad to see you here.

We were very worried
about you, Linda.

Are you all right?

We had a few moments.

This is my father,

Andrew Mello.

I appreciate what you done.

Would somebody mind telling us

what the hell's going on?



this is Joanne Mello.

I'm Detective Linda Williams.

San Francisco Police.

A setup!

You set us up!

I'm sorry about that, Starsky.

You need a decoy? Okay!

You needed someone

to attract Kester's attention

while the San Francisco Police

bring Mello's daughter
down here? Okay!

A little kinky, but workable.

But why not let us in on it?

I wanted to, but I couldn't.

What do you mean, you couldn't?

I wouldn't let him.

Oh, you wouldn't let him?

Well, just who in the hell

do you think is running
this department?

I'm running it!

But this was the DA's show,

and we were forced
to go along with it.

All right, now,
listen, you two...

Mello said Kester had
someone in his pocket.

What happened
proved he was right.

So, if a department is suspect,

everybody in that
department is suspect.

Dobey said he could trust you.

With what's at stake,

I can't afford to trust anybody.

Terrific. So with the
help of Helen Hayes here,

the two of you turn us into
a couple of clay pigeons.

Get off her back, Starsky.

She risked her neck for us,

and I for one am very grateful.

Well, our apologies,
Detective Williams.

The next time you
set us up for a wipeout,

I hope you'll join us.

Get in here and close the door!

We're not through with you yet.

What are you going to do next?

Shoot us out of a cannon?

Now, Mello wants his daughter
shipped out of the country.

We've booked her flight,
which leaves in three hours.

We gotta get her from
the hospital to the airport.

How would you
like a trip to Paris?


I think I could handle that.

You've earned it.

Why don't you clear it with
her superiors in San Francisco.


Good luck.

The kiss of death.

Take her in your car, and
I'll meet you over there.


Look, where have you been?

Where have I been? I
been in the can, why?

Listen, you messed up.

That wasn't Mello's
daughter you were chasing.

It had to be.


It was a San
Francisco policewoman.

A phony?

You gotta be kidding. Those
clowns chased a phony?


A decoy.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure!

I booked Mello's daughter
on a flight to Paris.


They're going to the
hospital now to pick her up.

Well, here we are again,

facing danger together

in the pursuit of law and order.

To the average passerby,

we may seem like
three ordinary people

on our way up to
visit Marcus Welby,

or on our way to
the maternity ward

to see if it's a boy or a girl
or something in between.

Little do they know

that we are three dedicated,

highly skilled
servants of the public.

Starsky... What?

Shut up.

Gee, you two are
wonderful together.

What can I do for you?

We need a surgical cap, a mask,
sheets and a gurney, and a set of greens.

What for?

We're going to play doctor.


Listen, I gotta ask
you something.


When this all started and
you knew we were cops,

but we didn't know you were...


Well, you came on a
little strong for a phony.

You think Mello's daughter
would've been that way?

Partly that.

Partly, I was just scared.

You two could have been
a couple of stumblebums.

How was I to know you were
just a little short of perfect?

Remember, now, we
want that girl alive...

No matter how many
cops we have to burn.

Hit it!

Get down.


Let's get a doctor!


Think you can find a doctor?

Does it...? Does it hurt?

Of course it hurts, you dummy!

Hey, copper...

you look pretty
good lying there.


I think.

You want to get him
up on that gurney.

Attaboy. Come on, let's move it.

Okay, take him
down to emergency.

We'll have an officer
there in a few seconds.

Go ahead.

Doc, will you check him out?

How is she?

Well, she's tough. I'm fine.

Well, let's sit you up.

I'm all right, I'm all right.

There you go. Come on, come on.

That's a girl.

There you go. Hey, Starsky?


How'd you know it was them?

Oh, the watch. The watch?

Yeah, the guy
pushing the stretcher,

he was wearing a surgical
mask... you know, a cap?

Yeah, so?

So the guy on the stretcher

was either going to or
coming from surgery, right?

Yeah, so?

So you don't wear
a watch in surgery.

Oh! Oh!

Here comes the doctor.

I'm all right. Really.

Yeah, sure you are.

Oh, I am, I'm fine.

Oh, changing seats.

Oh, I...

Thank you, men.

You're welcome, ma'am.

Is it very painful?

Hey, listen, I can still make
that trip to Paris, for sure.

Well, you give my
love to the Eiffel Tower.

I will.

So long. Au revoir.

Bye-bye. Bye.

"Give my love to
the Eiffel Tower"?

It's not funny to me.

We almost lost
this race at the wire.

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

That leak in the department
is no cop on the take.

You're right about that.

This happened too fast for it.

Maybe your office is bugged.

I mean, nobody knew

about that flight
to Paris, except...

You wanted coffee, captain?

Yes. Just put it
there, thank you.

All right now,

what we'll do

is move Mello out to the
Valley at that safe house...

Corner of Marshall
and Jefferson.

We'll keep him
there until the trial.

We'll get on it.

Thank you.

Listen, they're moving
Mello to a house in the valley.

A house.

Corner of Jefferson
and Marshall.


Hey, Starsky.

How can a disbursement clerk

who takes home $140 a week

afford a second car,
and a Cadillac at that?

Got me.

Maybe her folks send her money.

I don't think so.

This is her only visible
means of support.

You know what?


She needs to be
alone for a long time.

Book her!

How'd you know?

Every time somebody made a move,

you made the
travel arrangements.

It was just as simple as that.

Well, don't keep us in suspense.

How'd it go when
you got to the finals?

I was asked who was

the 16th president
of the United States.

I said Lincoln.

The speed of light?
186,000 miles a second.

And then the big one...

For the trip to the Bahamas.


And a TV set,

and a freezer full
of buffalo meat.

So, what happened?

Whoo! I got so
rattled, I couldn't think.

My head was spinning,

Miss Treasure Chest
was grinning at me,

the crowd was yelling...

And I guess I didn't
hear the question right.

What was the question?

"Who was the greatest
money-making horse of all time?"

And what did you say?

Marie Antoinette.

Marie Antoinette?

Was the greatest
money-making horse of all time?

I guess I didn't think
they said "horse."

Man, you been on
the streets too long.

What happened with
Miss Treasure Chest?

Man, she went off to the
Bahamas with some other dude.

You've had a bad day, Hug.

Precisely. And you?

Not bad...

Except I lost my watch.

Oh, oh, oh, hold it. Uh...

I don't know how to
tell you this, Starsky.

When George came
down to get his new cab

courtesy of the department,

he brought back your watch.

Guess what.

It's broken.

Oh, it's worse than that.


It was hot.

The claims officer had
found it on the sheet,

and the owner had
been contacted.

You sold me a hot watch.

It was cold when I touched it.

Honest, Starsky.

I swear...

Hey, look, man, I didn't
know nothing about it.

Look, the guy came down,
you said you wanted the watch.

I've got the watch.
It was a good deal.

A brand name.

Man, what did you
want for a few dollars?

Look, Starsky, it was just
a big mistake, that's all.

Let's just forget about it.

Me and you.

Did anybody ever tell
you you was pushy?