Starsky and Hutch (1975–1979): Season 1, Episode 2 - Texas Longhorn - full transcript

Hey, mister, thank
you for stopping.

We had some
trouble with the car.

What's going on?

That's okay.

The folks got a
little car trouble.

I'll be right back, honey.

Now, what's the problem?

The fan belt broke on the truck.

Oh, yeah?

Well, we'll have a look at it,

get you going in no time.



Boy, do you guys
need a new truck.

Yeah.

Sergeant...

What was the story?

Some guy in an
oil truck found them.

Her husband was stumbling along

up on the highway,
out of his head.

Hey, Tom!

Can I get a shot of that?

He's been released
from the hospital.

He's got a slight concussion.

Name's Tyler.

He's the big car dealer.

You know, Zack Tyler? Mm-hm.



I seen him in his commercials

just last night on television.

His wife's name was Emma Lou.

Did you shoot these tire
tracks in front of the car?

Yeah.

Husband said that there
were two assailants...

A Latino and an
Anglo with tattoos.

Big guys. Mid 30s.

Thanks.

A couple of regular guys.

From the cooling of the
body, she died around 5 a.m.

What have you got, Jake?

Raped. Strangled.

Lacerations around
the back of the neck

from a chain,

maybe a heavy necklace.

Dan will fill you
in after the post.

Well, what do you think?

They really gotta be
coming out of the sewer.

Robbery, rape and
murder all in one bundle.

Well, we ain't
going to find them

standing here.

Mr. Tyler?

Detective Hutchinson.

Oh, glad to know you.

This is Detective Starsky.

How are you doing? Sir.

We've been
assigned to your case.

Huh. Is that what you call it?

I'm afraid so, Mr. Tyler.

Just call me "Zack," all right?

Everybody else does.

You boys like to sit down?

Thank you.

Thank you.

We were surprised

that you left the
hospital so soon.

You okay?

Oh, yeah.

I got worse bumps
than that playing football.

I didn't want to
hang around there.

Can't face going home.

Yeah, the only thing
I got left is right here.

You know, it's funny.

I keep thinking she's over in
the showroom or something...

and then I remember.

You boys like a drink?

No. No, thank you.

I think I'll have
a little touch.

Okay, shoot.

Well, Mr... Uh, Zack...

we think you have
a right to know.

Are you aware that your
wife was raped as well?

No, I didn't know that for sure.

You want to tell
us what happened?

We was driving down the
road, me and Emma Lou.

I seen this truck up ahead,

kind of halfway
blocking the road,

and these two guys
waving at me to stop,

and I did.

Just as I was getting out,

this other white guy put
his hands on the horns

on the hood of
the car, you know,

and that's when I
seen the tattoos.

I never will forget them.

What did they look like?

All these rows of fishes

down the insides of both arms

with curlicues and
waves, like breakers

above both wrists.

Did your wife wear a necklace?

Yeah. Did they steal that?

Yeah.

Yeah. I bought her this Indian
squash-blossom necklace.

Antique, you know?

She just looked so cute in it.

I just got it for her last week.

You know what this is?

Yeah, sure.

That's a silver toe-piece

off a $200 pair of
custom-made boots.

$200? Yeah...

Yeah, a man might
not have a dime

in his pocket,

might be a millionaire,

still wear the
same kind of boots.

Zack, let me ask you something.

If you saw these men again,

do you think you'd
recognize them?

Oh, yeah. I'd recognize them.

I ain't about to forget them.

Hey, man, we made the papers!

Yeah?

Hey, they say you're
one really bad cat.

Bad, huh?

Oh, wow...

You believe this?

What?

That girl, she was
that old man's wife.

So?

I thought she was
some chick he pick up,

some sugar daddy,

you know what I mean?

So who cares, man?

Hey, man, I mean, a
bimbo, that's one thing,

but a man's wife...

I mean, marriage
is a sacred thing!

Man, you're really something
else, you know that?

You are really something else.

Hey, I don't take
another man's wife!

Oh, now, come on, poor Chaco.

Look at it this way, baby.

They ain't married no more.
We just gave them a divorce.

That's bad luck.

What you looking for?

Toe-piece.

You know, this
is like Cinderella.

We're the prince,

the silver toe-piece
is the glass slipper,

and you and me
are running all over

our little kingdom

looking for the
dainty foot that it fits.

Yeah, well, Prince Charming,
where do we go first?

Well, they'd fence the necklace.

How about Lenny the Glass Eye?

No, it's too high-class for him.

He'd be thrilled to
hear you say that.

What about Smelly Rolly?

He's the lowest-class
fence around.

He knows everything
that's happening

in his end of the market.

Well, that's where
we're going, then.

Smelly Rolly's bargain circus.

Where's that toe-piece?

Hiya, Marty.

You want to announce
us to the Merchant Prince?

You better get out of here,

or I'll tear your head off.

Take a walk, Leo.

Come on. Come on.

Marty. I like you

because you're
so fast on your feet.

You're an ace, you know?

Hiya, Starsky. Hi, Hutch.

So, Rolly?

Yeah, business ain't so good...

but, like it says
in the Journal,

the gross national product
should be up by year-end.

Well, you'd know about
anything gross, Rolly.

And look at this.

We're looking for a necklace.

Turquoise and silver.
Squash blossoms. Antique.

Worth about 1,500 bucks.

Hey, I didn't know you
guys worked lost and found.

Hey, Rolly, you got any cups?

And a couple of guys
who took it off a lady.

We want to ask them...

We want to ask
them a few questions.

Yeah, so?

Hey, hey, I'm a pro. I
don't discuss business.

Ain't you ever heard of
the code of the subculture?

What do you got, a club?

Subculture Social Athletic
Club, jackets with your name on?

Come on, Rolly. You been
around the block a few times.

Yeah, well, I don't
know anything

about a necklace
that some broad lost.

Hey... Hutch, come on.

One's a Latino,

and one's an Anglo with
tattoos on his forearms.

One wears cowboy boots

with silver tips and heels.

We're talking about rape
and murder one, Rolly.

If you got something
we need, Rolly...

we better hear it from you.

Where did you get all
this bizarro junk, huh?

Come on. Be
careful with that, huh?

Hey, a snow tire.

Those guys had a snow
tire on their car, right?

Yeah.

It left a track.
They come in pairs.

Hey, maybe this one is the mate.

We're borrowing this
one from you, okay, Rolly?

Maybe you were
with these guys, Rolly.

You have an alibi for yesterday

at 5 a.m.?

Yeah, yeah, I got an alibi.

I was with a lady.

A very respectable married
woman named Lillian.

Lillian what?

Hey, you know what you can do

with all these questions

and this whole deal, huh?

Come on! Cut that out, huh?

I'm sorry, it slipped.

Yeah, well, I don't
know any Puerto Rican

or any Anglo with tattoos,

so... so quit busting my stuff!

I didn't say he
was a Puerto Rican.

Hutch didn't say he
was a Puerto Rican.

You said he was a Puerto Rican.

I think you know the man.

Now, you sit there,
Rolly, and you think.

You think about time, hard time,

because we'll be back,

and if you've got what
to say and aren't saying it,

you're going to fall behind
an accessory-to-murder rap,

and that, my fat friend,

is a 10-to 15-year
wide-awake nightmare.

Hey, Rolly...

don't run.

Don't even walk...

just think.

Ray?

Back here!

Starsky and Hutch. What's good?

Looking at you, sweetheart.

What about me?

Oh, well, you're special.

We brought you something.

Oh, that's really nice.

Where do you want
me to tack it up?

Anywhere, gorgeous.

Excuse me. Hello there.

Thoughtful of you boys.

That'll be 15 bucks, toots.

That's a lot of lady.

Hmm... that's distracting.

Uh, Ray, you could
do something for us.

We're looking for a
man, about 35, Anglo,

has unusual tattoos up
and down his forearms.

Uh, parallel fish

with curlicues on
the side and the top,

and then down at the wrist,
big ocean-breaker waves.

You ever seen
a tattoo like that?

No, I'd remember if I did.

Why?

Were the fish all the same kind

and there were, like,
six or eight of them?

As far as we know.

Macao is the only place

tattoos like that are done.

Where's that?

It's a wide-open port

in the China Sea.

There aren't any tattoo artists

from Macao around here.

Well, then he'd have to
do it there, wouldn't he?

Would of had to.

Well, I guess that makes
one of our suspects...

a seafaring man.

Come on, Hemingway.

See you, Ray.

See you, Ray.

Right.

You need a dime?
No, I got a dime.

You sure?

I'm positive.

All right.

Dime.

Detective services.

Yeah, Stone, this is Hutch.

Listen, add to that
program you're running

that the Anglo was
probably a sailor

who laid over in Macao...

Hey!

One second. I'm on the phone.

I know.

And the Latino
was a Puerto Rican.

Wait a minute. What is it?

The snow tire.

Don't forget the snow tire.

Oh, yeah.

We dropped off a snow tire.

Check that as the mate

to the tire tracks we
found at the scene.

You got anything else for us?

No.

Anything else?

Okay.

Wait a second.

Hijo de tu madre!

Your Spanish is getting better.

Thank you.

Computer spit out a make yet?

No, it's still too general,

but it did turn
up heroin residue

in the blood analysis.

Guy's a shooter.

Then they're both hypes.

They come in pairs.

Yeah, Huggy Bear?

Yeah, this is Rolly.

Yeah, I want to leave a message
for Starsky and Hutch, huh?

Yeah, tell them I
want to meet them.

Privately, okay?

Yeah. Okay.

Talk to them in private...

They should meet
that Fat Rolly in the zoo.

Chez Huggy Bear's.

Hey, man, how
the hell do I know?

Somebody tell Sweetmeat
her old man called.

Oh, please close the door.

Is that any way to
talk to us, Huggy?

You got something
against daylight?

It happens every 24 hours.

Yeah, I got something
against today.

Linen service don't show up.

No garbage collection.

My bartenders don't show up.

You looking at a
mean mistreater.

Careful...

Mean Joe Greene is a pussycat
compared to this Huggy Bear.

I'll have an iced coffee.

Make it two, Huggy.

Two iced coffees.

So, what's happening?

Looking for a couple of hypes.

Rape and murder one.

One's a blond,

tattoos up and
down his forearms,

the other one's a
big Puerto Rican,

wears cowboy boots.

Hey, Starsky, you know I
don't allow no rapists and such

in my place.

Well, Huggy, have any of
your respectable customers

spoken of these two guys?

What, do you think
folks just come in here

chitchatting about any piece
of mayhem they hear about?

Hey, Huggy...

you got something for us or not?

Well, if they're hypes,
I'll see what I can pick up.

They must be buying their fixes

from somewhere.

So have no fear,

Huggy Bear's info will be here.

And by the way,
your yo-yo called,

said to come by,
wanted to talk to you.

Fat Rolly.

Why the hell didn't you say so?

Well, what do you
think I just said?

Hey, what's going
on in the kitchen?

What the...?

Ten Sierra, 11 Harry, 1033.

Disturbance at 489 North Avenue.

Aah!

I think I'll go home now.

F... Freeze.

All right, who are you?

I'm Lillian's husband.

He fiddled around with Lillian.

My little Lillian!

Just stay cool, big
fella, huh? Comprendo?

I don't think Rolly's
going to make it

through the night.

These cuffs don't fit him!

Maybe we ought to
throw a net over him.

What do you think
this is, a circus?

You guys couldn't conduct
a straight investigation

if your lives depended upon it.

Well, that's not entirely
accurate, captain.

Do you have an aspirin?

Where does this
wrestler come from?

Olympic Auditorium.
It's in my report.

Oh, yeah.

About this report... It
reads like a comic book.

"The fiery red Torino

"fishtails to a halt.

We spill onto the
street ready for action."

What is this? Hey!

Look, I'm going
to tell you again.

All I want is a straight report

written in English.

Now, why did the
wrestler beat up Rolly?

Thanks, captain.

Because Rolly was
messing around with his wife.

What does that got to do

with the two guys
you're looking for?

He knew the Latino
was a Puerto Rican,

and, according to
Harold in the crime lab,

Rolly's snow tire is
the same make, size,

tread and wear pattern

as the snow-tire
track at the scene.

See?

So that puts Rolly knowing them

before it went down

and giving or selling
them a snow tire.

You think he set it up?

That's not Rolly's bag,

but these guys fence
with him regular.

He can identify them for us,

but right now who they
are and where they are

is locked up
inside Rolly's head,

which at the moment
doesn't look too good.

Captain...

What?

May we be excused?

Yeah, go on, get out of here.

Thanks.

Hi, Zack.

How are you doing, Zack?

How are you big-city
cops doing, anyway, huh?

Hey, how'd you like to buy

this sleek little four-door
sedan I got here, huh?

It was previously owned

by a lady of
questionable repute.

She only used the back seat.

Let me tell you,

waiting around over
there for news at the car lot

is just awful.

So I...

I thought I'd drop by and
see what was happening.

Well, a couple of leads, Zack.

Nothing positive.

When I think of them two killers

walking around
in broad daylight,

polluting up the air,

free as a bird...

We'll get them, Zack.

We told you that.

It'll take a little time,
but we'll get them.

Yeah, I believe you will.

I'm selling the car lot.

Yeah, the whole
kit and caboodle.

Too many memories, you know?

House and everything.

I'm clearing out.

Where'll you go?

I don't know.

Are you sure you're
doing the right thing?

Well, I don't know, but...

well... that's my nature.

A man's got to be
true to his nature.

We're gonna have to
get in touch with you

in case we get a
couple of suspects.

Yeah, well, don't
you worry about that.

I ain't going no place

till you nail their
hides to the barn door.

Well, you boys need
me, y'all just holler.

Okay, Zack.

I'll be seeing you.

Take it easy.

Yeah, you too.

Detective Hutchinson.

Man, that's formal.

This is the proprietor
Huggy Bear calling.

Hey, Huggy.

You still want a lead
on those two hypes?

Yeah, what you got?

I made you contact
with the Angel.

The what?

1106 Sommers.

Tell her I sent you.

If they're around,
she'll know them.

Thanks, Huggy. You got it.

Hey, let's go.

Where to?

To see an Angel.

Hey.

Anybody home?

Hello?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah...

I hear you.

See you too...

with my mind.

Y'all come for the Angel?

No...

No, we didn't come to bust you.

Oh, honey, what you looking
at them old pictures for?

You got a hankering
for that gal?

Yeah, that was 15 years ago.

Huggy Bear sent us.

I'm hip.

We need to know a few things.

Like what?

We're looking for
a couple of hypes.

One's a Puerto Rican
who wears cowboy boots...

with silver toe-pieces.
One's missing.

The other's an Anglo,

tattoos up and
down both forearms.

Mid 30s. They're both big.

You seen them?

What'd they do?

Rape, murder.

For kicks.

Young girl?

Married.

Now, why should I
help the police force

finger a couple hypes?

I don't know.

Maybe because they're giving
heroin addicts a bad name.

Oh, you're cute.

Fifteen years ago, baby...

Well, the Angel will tell you
she heard a couple of hypes...

junkies shooting their
mouths off on cheap wine

about making a score

down by Terminal Island.

Now, brown bread
hangs around the Pike

at a place called Big Chuck's.

White bread...

I don't know what
he does. He's a sailor.

Always talking about
sailing off into the sunset.

♪ A long way ♪

♪ From home ♪

♪ A long way ♪

♪ From home ♪

See, I been to that
sunset a few times.

Take care of yourself, Angel.

Careful how you go.

Yeah, I'll remember that.

I'll remember that.

I'll remember that.

Best Gal in the fourth.
That's the number, man.

You don't know nothing.

You know, if a horse bit
you, you'd think it was a hog.

Hey, you bet your
money on that horse,

you lose, man. You sick, man.

That's a donkey.

That's a donkey?

Hey, Charlie.

Give me one more
order of french fries.

Hey, put some money
on three of them.

Hey, I'll put my money
on three if you loan me 5.

Congratulations, Cinderella,

your foot fits
the silver slipper.

I'll kill her!

I'm walking out of here!

No, you're not.

I'll cut her.

I'm not kidding.

I'll cut her.

I don't think so.

No way.

No way you're gonna walk
out of here with a woman.

You so much as twitch a muscle,

I'll blow your head off.

Drop it.

How old are you?

You single?

Hmm?

You know a blond
guy with tattoos?

Where were you at 5
a.m. day before yesterday?

Which of these three detergents

do you find to be
easiest on your hands?

You know...

you are one of the warmest,

most responsive human beings

I've ever had the
pleasure to meet.

An all-around regular fella.

Well, Zack...

That's one down and one to go.

I ain't ever seen that man
before in my whole life.

What?

Uh-uh.

He says he's never seen
this man before in his life.

What?

I sure wish I could
help you fellas,

but he just ain't one
of them, that's all.

I sure wish he was.

Now what the hell is going on?

You told me you had him nailed.

Now the only eyewitness
swears Chaco's not the man

that murdered his wife
or hit him on the head.

Hold him anyway.

On what?

Reasonable cause. That's
enough for murder one.

Not on a positive
non-identification.

But we know Chaco's our man.

Hold him!

Dobey here.

Oh, yeah?

Good.

Rolly's coming around.

He'll cop out if we'll
bargain on a plea.

Rolly can nail Chaco for us.

What is it with this telephone?

I know I dialed the lockup.

I don't want the commissary...

You get off my crossed line!

Hey, Dixon, this is Hutchinson.

I want you to stall the release

on Huey Chaco. Number 33240.

He's already on the street.

Hey there, Huey!

Hey, I'm having a little
trouble with my fan belt.

Maybe y'all could
give me a hand.

Let's have it fast, Rolly.

Where are your friends?

Yeah, when I get
a guaranteed deal.

The DA's offering me diddley!

The only guarantee
you got is this.

We make you as a known fence,

we make you with the two guys,

we put you in business
with them before the murder,

so we make you an
accessory to murder.

We tie this around
you like a knot

and dump the whole
mess in the joint.

You deal, baby, in
about 10 seconds,

or you got no deal. None at all!

Hold on, huh? Give me a break!

Time's up.

Well, wait a minute. Wait.

All right.

Yeah, I'll give you their names.

Little Huey Chaco
and John Brown Harris.

Now, you're going
to give me conditional

on the accessory, right?

We'll try.

Okay...

I fenced a couple
of TVs for them,

I, uh... Some watches,

sold them a case of calculators.

I sold them the
tire for 5 bucks.

Come on, Rolly!

All right, all right. Look,
I'll give you Chaco, see?

He'll duke you to Harris.

Chaco's duking us to
nothing. Chaco's dead, Rolly.

What about Harris?

Harris? Forget it.

I want to stay alive.

Look, fatso.

There's an APB
out on Zack Tyler.

Two witnesses identified him
as the man who shot Chaco.

If Tyler gets to
Harris before we do,

the man is dead, and
you've got no deal.

Besides, you're
doing him a favor.

With us, the creep
at least gets a trial.

Harris sells his blood
for drinking money

when he's broke.

He's a sailor or
something like that.

All right, where does
he peddle his blood?

Ace Medical on Inden.

Thanks a bunch, Rolly.

It's always a pleasure
doing business with you.

You're going to
love San Quentin.

He's waiting for the mail.

Ma'am?

You'll have to wait your turn.

Excuse me, miss?

We're not here to sell blood.

We're cops.

We need all ours.

You ever seen this guy?

What are you looking at
me for? Answer the man.

I don't recall.

Hutch...

All right, look, lady.

He's got tattoos up
and down his forearm,

parallel rows of fishes.

Tattoos... on the inside.

Oh, him.

I remember him.

It's easier for me to
remember arms than faces.

When was the last
time he was here?

Harris...

Exactly three weeks ago.

You got an address on him?

No. A phone number.

555-6473.

555-6374.

6473!

6473...

You get out of here!

This machine gypped
me out of a peanut bar!

Get out of here

and take your
nosy friend with you!

I got people waiting!

She is a vampire.

Now, that's the first
lady vampire I ever met.

According to the phone
company, that should be the one.

555-6473.

That's it.

I wonder if we beat Zack here.

Well...

Maybe he's come and gone.

Morning.

Help you fellas?

Make him?

Get back!

Get back!

Get down!

Move it, you turkey.

Get down, Zack!

Damn it, Zack!

What do we do?

We call for cover?

There's no time!
We gotta get to Zack!

That thing he's
in is like a tank!

Cover me!

This thing with machines
has gotta end right here.

Come on!

Give me your gun.

I got it!

I got Zack.

Okay. You're okay. Come on!

You! Call an ambulance!

It's all right, Zack.

Easy, boy.

What's happening?

Don't you talk.

Did you get him?

Yeah, we got him.

Good deal.

Why didn't you leave
this alone, Zack?

Well, let me tell you a story
my grandpappy told me.

There's this...
This scorpion, see?

He wanted to get
across the river,

but he couldn't swim,

and so he's trying
to talk this frog

into carrying him
across on his back, see,

and the frog knew
that he couldn't swim,

and as long as he
was in the water,

he wouldn't sting
him, because...

Because he'd die,
see? He'd drown.

So the scorpion
kept pestering him,

and so he said, "All
right, climb onboard,"

and they got about
halfway across the river,

and this scorpion...

doggone if he didn't
up and sting that frog,

and the frog looked
around at him, and he said,

"Hey, what'd you do that
for? You're gonna die too!"

And the scorpion
looked at him and said,

"I couldn't help it."

You see, that old scorpion,

he's just being true
to his nature, see?

Just like I'm
being true to mine.

Besides...

with Emma Lou gone,

living is a hard way to go,

you know what I mean?

You hold on, Zack.
Ambulance is coming.

Starsky?

Yeah?

He's dead.

Nobody move. Fifteen
in the side pocket.

Hey, hey, old buddies, old pals,

my ace bust 'em-rust 'ems.

What's happening?

What's wrong with you today?

Nothing.

I'm Mr. Sweetness and Light.

That's what I mean, man.

Man, you're off the wall.

Yesterday you were
the "mean mistreater."

You must not be
feeling too good.

Let me fix you the
Starsky special.

What about me?

Beer?

One Starsky special, Diane,

and one beer for the gentleman.

Starsky?

Hmm? Wait a sec.

Hello, friends, this is
my little wife, Lillian,

and, uh, I want to thank you,

because we're back
together again now,

and, uh, I'm sorry I hit you.

Buy you a drink?

No, I'll buy.

Bottle of wine. Chateau
Villon-Longueville 1966.

I'm sorry. We
don't serve French.

How about some
Chateau Twister...

1975?

Hey, Starsky.

Hmm?

I'm beginning to think

that everybody in
this town is crazy...

except you and me.

Funny...

I was beginning to have
serious doubts about you.