Starsky and Hutch (1975–1979): Season 1, Episode 13 - The Deadly Imposter - full transcript

Starsky and Hutch make time to help an old friend just back in town locate his ex-wife and son while also attempting to uncover the identity of a hitman hired to assassinate a secret witness in a drug kingpin's trial.

Okay, Mrs. MacMillon,

just what kind of car
was it that you had stolen?

It was a 1952 Kaiser-Frazer.



My late husband gave it to me,

brand new.


For our 25th
wedding anniversary.

"Maggie," he said,
"these Kaiser-Frazers

are going to be
the coming thing."

Oh, sounds like the guy

who sold my mother
her Studebaker.

Oh, no.

Felix was a history
teacher... 42 years.

Central High School.

He never sold cars.


Hey, Ken, this is Vinnie.

Yeah, Vinnie?

Remember that guy

you and Starsk went
to the Academy with?

Which one?

The one that quit and
joined the Air Force.

Yeah, John, uh...


John Colby?

Yeah, I thought
you'd like to know.

He's in here working out.

Well, put him on,
let me talk to him.

Right now he seems
to be pretty busy

whaling the tar out of Tito.

Well, you tell him to hold
on for about 20 minutes.

We'll be down there as
soon as we get off duty.

Don't let him get away.

Yeah, sure thing, Ken.

See you later.

Okay, just one more
question, Mrs. MacMillon.

You can call me Maggie, David.

Okay, Maggie,


I need your phone number.

Is this routine or personal?

Well, both.

I need it for the report,

but I thought I'd call
you up some night

and we could go out boogieing.

That would be nice, David,


not tonight.

Tonight I have a date.

Oh. Tsk.

Some other night, then, okay?

That would be fine.

Thank you, Maggie.

Oh, you're welcome, David.

Let me give you a hand.

Oh, thank you.

Now, you know how
to get out of here?

You go down the corridor
and take the elevator.

Okay, thank you.

What was she doing here?

Oh, well, someone stole

her 1952 green-and-black

and she's convinced
that it was a ring

of professional car thieves,

So I told her we'd
alert the border patrol.

You know she was
in Vice last week?


Claiming she was kidnapped

and held prisoner
by a motorcycle gang,

and the week before,
she was in the D.A.'s office.


Confessing to the
stocking murders.

Yeah, and two months
ago she confessed to Hutch

for setting the downtown fires.

Hey, she's a nice old lady.

We had a couple of minutes,

so what does it hurt?

Hey, captain,
how'd it go with you

down at the Federal
Prosecutor's office

on the Garvin case?

Don't ask.

They claim, come Monday,

they're going to
hit the Grand Jury

with the secret witness
that'll nail Garvin to the wall.

In the meantime, who
he is and where he is

is being kept a secret
to us menial city police.


Well, look at it
this way, captain.

If the city and
state departments

got along with the
Feds, and vice versa,

then the crime rate

probably wouldn't
go up every year,

and you know where
that would leave us?


Out of work.

Get out of here.

Care for a ride in
my Frazer-Kaiser?

Why not?

How about my Kaiser-Frazer?

John Colby's in town.

John Colby? Where's he?

He's in the shower.

In the shower.

Herr lieutenant,

you are out of uniform.


All right, where's
the other one?


♪ Off we go ♪

♪ Into the wild Blue yonder ♪

Herr lieutenant,

you are still out of uniform.

And you are still
out of your mind.

And I'm running out of patience

with the both of you.

How are you, kid?




Starsky, give me the towel.

Sergeant, the lieutenant
wants his towel back.


Give it to him.

You're still out of your mind.

Ho ho!

Ho ho! Ho ho!

Come on! Starsky!

Oh, look at you.
You look terrific

Oh, you bimbo.

Hey, you bum, how are you?

Hutch, Starsky...

you don't know how
good it is to see you guys.

Five years.


Five years in a
prisoner-of-war camp.

Well, then two years

in another hospital in Hawaii

trying to get my
leg back in shape.

Chasing away the bogeyman.

What is it, John?


Hey, dumbo...

We were called

the three musketeers... No.

What were we called
at the Academy?

The three corks?


The Cork-isans. The three...

The Corkisan brothers, right?

You remember that?


Are you trying to tell us
there's nothing bothering you?

Well, okay, the real
reason I'm in town

is to look up my
ex-wife and kid...

only I'm having a
little bit of trouble

finding them, that's all.

Hey, I didn't know
you were married.

Oh, it was a quick thing.

You know, two-week
romance, three-year marriage...

I can't blame her
for divorcing me.

When I was in that prison camp,

I guess everybody back
here thought I was dead.

When are you
leaving for Germany?


You want us to
help you find her?

No, it's okay.

I'm going to see a
guy this afternoon

at a place where
she and the kid lived

under her maiden name.

Well, look, if you
change your mind,

you can find us at my place.




We've gotta party tonight.

How about a party? You
want to come to a party?

Aw, come on, man.

Hey, we're going to get you
something real swell, you know?

About like that, and
that, and a little of that.

Uh, look, I'll have to
think about it, okay?



We'll see you, huh?


Take care.

He's hurting, huh?



You might ask yourself,

can I really tell your future

with these cards?


Not now, Fifi.

Trust me, believe me,

and your future will be ensured.


What is it, Fifi?

You want me to hang around
later and help you clean up?

Much later.



I'll get it.

Shut up, Fifi.

Fifi, I'm going to bust you

in the mouth if
you don't shut up.

Okay. Now, you go in there

and get a cold towel, okay?

Go ahead.

What happened, John?

Went to that place where
my ex-wife lived, Karen.


The manager said he
didn't know anything.

I went back. They
were waiting for me.

Who's they?

Don't know.

They said forget
Karen ever lived.

I don't know who
busted up your friend.

Hey, that's my car.

And I don't know no
dame named Colby.

Now, wait a second.

She lived here under
her maiden name.

Now, her name was Karen Brennan.

I don't know that name either.

Now, look, pal.

We're losing our
patience with you,

so what we're going to
do is to give you a choice.

You either talk to us

or we're going to send
the biggest parade

of city inspectors

ever to march through
a condemned building.

This building isn't condemned.

Not yet.

Look, I've had

three different tenants
in that apartment

since she moved out.


Where did she move to?

I don't know.

What about her mail?

They told me to return it all

to the local post office

and mark it "general delivery."

Wait a second. Who's they?

That guy she was going with.

I think they want
to get married.

Oh, that's nice.

What's his name?

I don't remember.

Karpel. Warren Karpel.



Well, Starsk,

there's always Maggie MacMillon.

If you ever find her
old Kaiser-Frazer,

maybe the two of
you could take in

a drive-in movie
or something, huh?

Why don't you put

an egg in your shoe and beat it?

What did the radio
kick back on Karpel?

He did 26 months
for tax evasion.

26 months?

That's a lot of evading.

Yeah, and just what Colby needs

to find out... that his kid

is being brought
up by an ex-con.

How'd you do?

Well, Karen Brennan
had her mail forwarded

in care of Warren G. Karpel,

2850 Forreston
Drive, Belmont Hills.

2850, huh?

Well, it's got to be
around here someplace.

Well, it isn't..

Unless somebody moved
it in the last five minutes.

Well, wait a minute.

What's over there?

That's a building.

What's the number?


All right, what's
that over there?

That's another building.

The number? 2852.

All right, what's this?

This is a vacant lot, dummy.

We've been suckered.

Do you get the feeling

that somebody doesn't want us

to find Mr. and Mrs. Karpel?

No kidding.

Yeah, yeah, right.

All right, look, total
value is $2.7 million.

Look, any market.

All right, look,

I'll let you have
it for half that.

Right, well, let's just say

I need some fast
traveling money, okay?


Hey, hold your water.

I'll be done in a second.

All right.

Yeah. Right. Look,

Well, I get 10%
of the finders' fee.

Yeah. Okay, no. I can't...

And this guy ended up

on the other side
of this time warp

in a parallel dimension

where all things are the
same... Only different.

Like, cops are called "Rogas."

Speaking of Rogas...

Look, don't pay no
attention to them,

and this guy has a
pet called a "parfel,"

and he tries to fit in

by saying he's been
away for a while,

and then he falls in love,

but all the girls are
the same, only different,

but he can't marry the girl,

because on the other
side of the time warp,

he's already married.

Hey, John, don't expect
an ending to this story...

Huggy only reads a page a week.

Hutch, when you're into
heavy vibes like this...

you don't boggle the mind
with endings and such.

Huggy, how are
you fixed for food?

Would you like to see the menu,

or would you like

the Huggy Bear
special of the week?

Well, at the risk of
boggling any minds,

we'll have a couple of specials.

Want something to
drink? Couple of beers?


Lemonade. Got it.


What'd you find out?

Karen remarried a man by
the name of Warren Karpel.

That's it?

He's an ex-con, John.

And right now it appears

that he doesn't want
to be found by anybody.


Huggy Bear's.


Hey, Hutch.


Hey, come on.

We're going to find them.

Come on, it'll
take a little time.

We've got the whole weekend off,

so don't worry.

Hey, man, I don't want
to mess up your free time.

Call it a busman's holiday.

You know, it's the kid.

A man ought to have a
right to see his own son.

Yeah, all right.

That was Dobey's office.


We're back on.

No. Yup.

Couldn't get us out of it?

I tried,

but he's calling
all the off-duties in.

John, we're still
going to try to find her.

Hey, Hutch, there's no time.

Well, we're going to make time.

You're leaving Monday, right?


We'll do the best we can.

Take care.


Hey, guys, what
about your specials?

Huggy, those are three
regular hamburgers.

And they're probably cold.


Well, I don't believe it.

Mike Robbins.

Hey, Jackie, honey.

What're you doing out here?

What am I doing out here?

What are you doing out here?

You know, you
disappeared out of Miami

like a hooked bonefish.

I had to. Business.


Well, I can explain,
but, uh, not here.

Just like old times.
Here we go again.

Your place or mine?

Well, why don't
we go to your place

and have a few drinks

and talk it over?


What do you know about him?

Harvey Russo.

He's Nate Garvin's main man

in drug importation, isn't he?

He was.

About two hours ago,

in broad daylight
on a city street,

he got himself killed.

He got a knife shoved

right into his spinal column.

Starsky, get your
feet off my desk.

Hey, Russo was one
of the main targets

set for the Grand
Jury for Monday.

Right, and now all of a sudden,

the Feds, who wouldn't
give us the time of day,

are screaming for our help.

Now, according to them,

their secret witness
would have nailed

both him and Garvin.

We have information

that a high-priced hitman

has been brought in.

Speculation is,
Garvin brought him in.

Well, that makes sense,

to eliminate anybody who
could testify against him.



if Garvin is responsible for
bringing in this knife man,

that key witness could be
the next target on the list.

Yeah, but he has
to find him first.

And I told you, Garvin,

I'll find Karpel.

Now, he'll never get
to the Grand Jury.

Everything I've got
is on the line, Colby.

You're taking a big chance
trying to use those cops.

I told you in the beginning,
there would be risks.

Now, with the amount
of time you've given me

to make these hits,

it's the only way.

Well, if they're back on duty,

how are you going to get
them looking for Karpel again?

You let me worry about that.

You do exactly as I've told you,

and we'll have
them working for me.

So now you're an
undercover narcotics agent?

Hey, everybody's
got to make a living.

Come on, Mike.

I never believed that baloney

about you being an
investment counselor.

I thought I was
pretty convincing.

Oh, come on, sweetie.

No, you're much more of a killer

for that line of work.

I'd say you're more
like, um, a mako shark.

Smooth and sleek...
and damn deadly.


You like it better
here than in Florida?

Well, Miami got to be
kind of a personal drag.

Well, after you disappeared,

the boss and his whole family

got wiped out in
that freak accident.

Then the business
went down the tubes,

and, well, it was bought
out by a big conglomerate,

so I quit.

A commercial artist
can get a job anywhere.

I checked New York, you know.

New York?

The brokerage firm that
you said you worked for?

They never heard
of you, Michael.

Well, that's the trouble
with being undercover.

You can't even tell
your best friends.

You know, one of these
days, Mike Robbins,

I'm going to find out
exactly what you really do.

Yes, I'm sure you will.

Knife shoved into
the spinal column.

A little scary.

The question is, what connection

did she have with Nate Garvin?

It doesn't make any sense.

You know, Starsky,
I have a feeling

we've seen her somewhere.

Oh, uh... Huggy's?


Hey, Hug.

Hey, what do you need, B?

There's a guy out
back asking for you.

Well, why don't he come in?

I don't know.

He looks a little under
the weather to me.

Hey, lieutenant.

Hey, Huggy.

Hey, my old buddies
walked out on me.

How's that?

Husky and Starch.

Hey, come on, sit up.

Starsky and Hutch...
Husky and Starch.

Pretty good, huh?

You know, I was the first one

to ever call them that.

My old pals.

They're not going to help me

find my wife and kid for me...

Come on, lieutenant.

If anybody can find your family,

those two guys can.

Lieutenant, we'd
better get out of here.

Hey, Jaime, where's Huggy?

He's out back, with
your friend, Colby.



Hey, John...


You all right?

Help me up.


There's a box right here, John..

Take it easy.

Huggy? Huggy?

Come here.


Huggy... can you hear me?

What happened?

It's my fault, my fault.

They said forget Karpel.

Hey. We need an ambulance.


Take it easy, John.

Hold on, John.

Where're you going?

Hey, how's Huggy?

Well, he's got a
couple of broken ribs,

some bad bruises,
a bad headache,

but he's out of danger.

He'll live.

How are you doing?
What's the report on you?

A bruise, a couple of cuts.

You know those
guys were after me.

They're trying to scare me off.

Now, Huggy just got in the way.

All I want to do is see my
son. Why is Karpel doing this?

That's what we're
trying to find out.

But you're on duty.

Yeah, we're on duty,

and we've got a couple of
leads and a guy were after.

Now we're just waiting
for something to happen.

In the meantime,

we've located a guy

who might help
us find your wife.

Can I come with you?


He's in the numbers
racket, John.

He doesn't like visitors.

Why don't you go to my
place, take a hot shower,

get some rest,
change your clothes.

We'll call you later.


Enjoy yourself.


Uh, just a minute.

It worked.

Save it, Parouch.

This is not a bust.

Oh yeah? Well,
how do I know that?

Because if it was a bust,

you'd be up against the wall

instead of making
paper soufflé here.

Come here.

What do you want?

We are looking for a guy

who used to work
for your old boss,

Nate Garvin.

His name is Warren Karpel.

Never heard of him.

That's a natural reaction.

I really expected more
out of you, Parouch.

Hey, hey, cut that out.

Hey, come on,
come on. Cut that out.

That's my livelihood!

You going to listen
to my partner?

No. No!


Oh, I mean... I mean,
yeah, yeah, I'll listen,

but I mean, no, no, don't drop.


Now, we want you to pass around

that we are interested

in anything and everything

on Warren Karpel, okay?





Hey, hey, how am
I going to explain

dumping a half a day's
receipts without getting busted?

Ah. Tell you what, Emile.

You come up with
something special,

and Hutch and I will come back

and bust you, okay?

That's S-O-S.

And that beating that
Huggy Bear and I took

from the fight in the alley

will convince Starsky and Hutch

to work twice as
hard to find Karpel.

Well, I still don't like it.

It's not for you
to like or dislike.

Starsky and Hutch
are my problem.

Well, you better be sure

that it stays your problem.

If they ever connect
you to my organization

and they...

Then what, Mr. Garvin?
You'll put a contract out on me?

I'll bet you would.

You said you wanted something.

A photograph of Karen Karpel.

Is there anything else?

Yeah, when I locate Karpel,

I'll need some help
with the guards.

I'll take care of Karpel myself.

That's some arm
he's got, Mr. Karpel.


Don't you understand?

When John was
killed in Vietnam...

Corey and I didn't
have anything.

Well, that still
doesn't take away

from the fact that it's wrong

to put you and Corey
in this kind of danger.

After you've testified tomorrow,

that will all be over.

I wish I could believe that.

Garvin is a powerful man.

Even inside prison,
he might order...

Once he's in prison,

he's just going to
be another inmate,

and an old one, at that.

Well, maybe so...

but just in case,

if anything should happen,

if he or one of his killers
should ever get close...

I know, I know,

Corey and I are most important.

Do whatever I have
to do to save our lives.

Am I that much of a nag?

Worse than that.

And if we have to be on the run

for the rest of our lives?

I always did like to travel.

What've you got, Parouch?

The best word I could turn up

is that Karpel is holed up
somewhere on Turner Beach.

He's living out of
a post office box.

Turner Beach, huh?
Well, you did good, Emile.



You won't forget to
come and bust me?

No, we won't forget.

Well, we've got a shot.

The post office at Turner Beach.

Let's pick up John, huh?

Let's go.



Don't lose my place.

I'll get the address.

You'll probably be seeing

your ex-wife and kid

within the hour.

Hey, Hutch.

I've never shown
you a picture of Karen.


It's taken just before
I went to 'Nam.


She's beautiful.


You know something, Hutch?

I haven't even...

Gosh, I haven't even
thanked you guys for...

Oh, don't mention it.

What you're doing, you know.



Hutch, that's... that's her!

That's Karen.

Which one?

The girl with the packages,

that's Karen.

Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute, John.

It's been a long time
since you've seen her,

and she's going to be surprised.

Why don't you let me
talk to her first, huh?

You're right,

but, Hutch, if she'll see me,

could you find
someplace private?

Private. Right.

You know, alone.

How about that street down there

by the nursery?

Just on that side
of the nursery.

Okay. Okay.

Karen Karpel?

Mrs. Karpel,

My name is Detective
Kenneth Hutchinson,

and there's no
need to be alarmed.

I'd just like to talk
to you for a moment

about your former husband.



So he's not going
to be here long.

He's leaving in
a couple of hours

for another
assignment in Germany,

and he'd like to see his son,

talk to him.

How about it?

Of course.

I want Corey to
know his real father.

I'm just stunned
that he's alive.


Where is he?

He's down by that
nursery down there.

He felt it'd be better

if the two of you met alone.


What kind of a
sick joke is this?

I've never seen this
man before in my life.




Come on.

Snap out of it.


Good morning.

Do you feel as bad as you look?


How do you know?

You haven't seen yourself.

I can feel it. Will
you help me up?

Yeah, come on.

Okay, now, what happened? Huh?

Where's Colby?

He was here. He
was here with Karen.

His wife?

His wife? Hell, man.

John's a phony.


She'd never seen him before.

What are you talking about?

He put me out.

Let's go.

Warren Karpel

was Nate Garvin's
chief accountant.

We have gone to a lot of trouble

to hide him and his family away

until the Grand Jury
meets on Monday,

and I'd like to know

why you've got city detectives

trying to blow their cover.


Is he your secret
Grand Jury witness?

Starsky and Hutch
are trying to locate him

for a friend of theirs

whose ex-wife is
married to Karpel.

No, no, no.

Mrs. Karpel's former husband

never made it back from Vietnam.

Excuse me, Buckland.

Get me Starsky and Hutch.

You know, if you
Federal bureaucrats

were less concerned
with secrecy,

the country would
be a lot better off.

Well, come on, get them.
I've got to get to them.

Did you ever think

of opening up an escort service?


Zebra Three from Control.

Zebra Three from Control.

Zebra Three, Zebra Three.

Zebra Three,

switch to tac-two
for Captain Dobey.

Starsky or Hutch?

This is Starsky, captain.

Is your friend Colby there?

Is Colby here?

Colby's apparently

taken off with Mrs.
Karpel, captain.

He did what?

About 20 minutes ago,
knocked Hutch down,

and took off with Mrs. Karpel.

Why, we're still
trying to figure out.

Well, I got the why.

Karpel is the secret
Grand Jury witness

due to testify Monday
morning against Nate Garvin,

and we think your friend Colby

is the hitman imported

to kill Harvey Russo and Karpel.

Colby is a hitman?

That's what it looks like.

Captain, do you got an address

for Mrs. Karpel?

Yeah, hold on a minute.

You have an address on Karpel?

Of course.

Well, come on. Give it to me.

Captain Dobey, you
haven't heard a word I...

Mr. Buckland, we have
every reason to suspect

that a professional killer
is on his way to Karpel's.

Now, Starsky and Hutch

might be able to stop him

if they know where to go.

I need that address,
and I need it now.

Did you find the house?

Yeah, right where
she said it was.

I managed to get
within a hundred yards.

The telephone wires?


Good. What's the layout?

Well, the house is here.

There's one guard out front.

There's two more
down on the beach.

Where is Karpel?

I didn't see him.

All right, clean
and simple, then.

You follow me to the house.

I take the guard outside,

you take the two on the beach.


Dry your tears, Mrs. Karpel,

because it's time to go.

Just remember,

I'll be right behind you.

Where is St. Andrew's Point?

When you get down
to that beach road here,

make a right.

They've got a
20-minute lead on us.

Let's just hope Dobey
called the police guards.

Mrs. Karpel, where
have you been?

You had me worried.

Don't ever do that again.

Where is my husband?

He's down there
on the rocks, fishing.

Here. I'll give you a hand.

Come on.



There it is,

The dirt road up there

with the eucalyptus trees.

How is he?

He'll live.

That's Colby. I want him.

I'll get the beach.



Drop it.

Drop it. Drop it.


Stand up!

Come on! Get up, get up!

Drop it.



Shut up!

Hold it, John!

Don't do it.

You'll never make it.

Mrs. Karpel, get out of here.

Go on.

Go on.

Hey, Hutch.

You might as well

shoot me right now, man,

because I'm not going
to make it to a trial.

They're going to have a
contract out on me tomorrow.

Well, that's your problem, John.

No, no, that's yours, Hutch.

I should have finished
you in the alleyway.

I'm surprised you didn't.

I don't kill anybody

that I don't get paid to kill.

Why's that, John?

Killing got to be real easy.

I'm good at it.

A man ought to do
what he's good at.

Drop the sand.

Drop it.

Turn around.

We don't get paid extra
to kill people, either.

You drop something?

Well, you're lucky the Feds
didn't go to the Commissioner,

otherwise you'd be

directing traffic
on the docks...

From the water.

I'm glad you talked
him out of that.

Who says I talked him out of it?

You find this funny?

Oh, no. No.

I was just thinking...

There's a lady out
in the squad room

waiting for Starsky.

Lady? What lady?

Oh, you remember...
Maggie MacMillon.

It's that groovy old lady

with the green-and-black

The one that

the motorcycle gang kidnapped?

Yeah, that's the one.

You see, Starsky here
made a date with her.

She's not out there?

Oh, no, no, no.
She couldn't make it,

but she didn't want
to disappoint you.


So she sent a
friend of hers over.

Her name's... Abigail Crabtree.

She seems like
a real sweet lady.

You know something, Starsky?

If I wasn't all tied up,

I'd join you the two of you

for a glass of warm milk.

Hey, both of you...
get out of here.

Yes, sir. Come on.


What's the matter?

I can't go out there.

But I told you,

she's a real nice little lady,

and I'm sure you wouldn't want

to disappoint her.

Abigail Crabtree?

She's a friend old
lady MacMillon.

Hutch, you've got to help me.


What do you want me to do?

Oh, I don't know.

Tell her I was
transferred to the moon,

something, please.

You're good with words.

You sure you want me to do that?

Yeah. Be a pal, huh?


Oh, thanks. Thanks.

Miss Crabtree?

I'm sorry, I couldn't find
Detective Starsky for you.

Oh, I know Mrs. MacMillon
is going to be so disappointed

that I missed him.

Yeah, I know.

Well, look, there's no reason
that your trip down here

has to be a complete waste.

I am David's partner,

and, uh, I'd be more than happy

to substitute for him.

Oh, you wouldn't mind?

No, it would be my pleasure.

Can I help you with your coat?

Thank you.



Take a look, huh?


Okay, Starsky,
the coast is clear.


Oh, captain,

if you see Detective Starsky,

would you tell him
that I'm taking care

of Miss Crabtree here?

Hutchinson says

he's taking care
of Miss Crabtree.