Starsky and Hutch (1975–1979): Season 1, Episode 12 - Terror on the Docks - full transcript

A criminal investigation becomes personal for Hutch when he learns the homicidal maniac among a band of thieving dockworkers is engaged to marry Hutch's childhood friend Nancy.

I'm glad your dad didn't live

to see this day.

Oh, Billy's gonna be here soon.

Besides, Father Delacourt
isn't even here yet.

Father Delacourt is a priest.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Hello, Father.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Hello, Nancy.

How are you, Mrs. Blake? Fine.

Well, which one of
you is the doomed man?

Neither one of us.
I'm Ken Hutchinson.


I'm giving away Nancy.

This is my partner,
David Starsky.


Yeah, we're police officers.

Ah, police officers.

Nancy and I knew
each other years ago.

We lived next
door to each other.

Oh, yes, yes,

I think Mrs. Blake
was telling me

something about you before.

Well now, tell me something.

With you two dressed like that,

what's there left for
the criminals to wear?

Well, muslin's always nice.


All right, what do you say

we get this show
on the road, huh?

I don't see how we can start.

The bridegroom isn't here.

He's not here yet, huh?


Ah... not to worry, mother,

I'm sure that Dave
would be more than happy

to stand in for the lucky man.

Well, is it all right?

Ah, sure it is.

Look, Nancy, this is
nothing but a rehearsal.

Now, when the real day comes,

when your young man gets here,

we'll lock the doors,
and he can't get out.


Are you up there?

She's... getting
a little senile.

A little hard of hearing now.


One of you boys want to go
up and tell her this is a wedding,

not a funeral, huh?

George One to
Headquarters. Urgent.

Go ahead, George One.

We got them cold.

They went to work
about ten minutes ago.

Say hello for me.

Come in, Jamieson. Come in!

Come on, let's go.

Yeah, come on,
come on. Leave that.

Come on, get out of here.

Come on, let's get moving.

They didn't get it all.

Look, there was a
cop. I had to kill him.

Look, relax,

you worry too much.

I'm late for another
appointment anyway.


Margaret, you want to try
that one more time, please?

Okay. Okay.


I wish Billy would get here.

Oh, he'll make it.

And what makes you so sure?

Well, look at the
prize he's got.

Mrs. Blake, it's
only a rehearsal.

Well, I'm practicing.

There he is.

Hey, hey, wait a minute.

Where have you been?

Nobody's says "I do," till I do.


my two favorite men.

Hey, hey, where are you going?

You wanted to see us?

No, I just sent for you,

because I didn't have
anything better to do.

Step over here.
You're blocking traffic.

And wipe that
smile off your face.

This is about Ed Jamieson.

What about him?

He was killed
yesterday on the docks.

He was?

His wife just had her first kid.


Now, Jamieson was trying to
crack a theft ring on the docks

for the last six months,

but he was caught
in his surveillance.

Didn't have a chance
to draw his weapon.

Just gunned down in cold blood.

I want you two to see if
you can pick up the pieces.

I've already made an
appointment for you

with the chief of security

for the Port Authority.

His name is...

Andy Wilkins.

You know him?



I grew up with his secretary.

And who is she?


Jamieson have any
leads on this ring?

Not quite.

There's one interesting item.

He wrote this name down,
apparently the day he died:

Ted Banks.

He's a forklift operator
in the Pier Six area.

Now, how he figures in this...

is what we don't know.

Well, we'll check it out.


Hey, Hutch.

Hey, Billy.

Hey, how you doing?

Good, how you doing?

Hey, Billy. I didn't know
you worked down here.

Oh yeah, sure, sure.

What are you guys
doing down here?

Oh, we're down here on business,

as a matter of fact.

No, thanks.

Oh, about that...

that cop who got
killed yesterday, huh?

Yeah. Yeah.

That was a bad scene.

Hey, maybe you can help us.

We're looking for
a forklift operator

by the name of Ted Banks.

Oh, Teddy.

Teddy, yeah. Yeah,
sure, I know him.

What do you want with him?

We just want to ask
him some questions.

Do you know where he is?

Well, let me have a look
around. See if he's in today.

Thanks, Billy.

Hey, Billy.

Don't forget, 2:00 Saturday.

And don't be late,

or I'm gonna
substitute for real.

Ha, ha. Not a chance.


Well, hello, you two.

You look familiar.

Don't I know you from someplace?

I think so.

Is your boss in? Yeah.

He asked if you wouldn't mind
waiting a couple of minutes.

Jerry Green, the security guard

who was on duty yesterday,

he's on his way over.

Oh good, that's good.

Listen, Rick, we got the
big score coming down

on Saturday.

Any other cops,

it wouldn't make any difference.

These guys know Nancy...

they know me.

If they put two
and two together,

the fact that the
robberies began

just after I started
dating Nancy...

Look, Nancy
doesn't have any idea

that you're getting
the cargo information

through her.

How will they find out?

Nancy's in love with me.

They aren't.

Listen, Rick, they're good cops.

We're talking
about $1.5 million.

You've already burned one cop.

We can't stop now.

They're getting close to Nancy,

and the closer they get to her,

the closer they get to me...

and you.

They already know
about Ted Banks,

so he's become expendable.

Using Ted, I say we... kill
two birds with one stone.

Go on, Jerry, give
us the rest of it.

I was hit from behind.

When I came to, I
was bound and gagged,

they had put
patches over my eyes.

Jerry, were you able
to hear anything?

There were three or four voices,

and I think they
were using a forklift.

Well, I'm sorry I
can't be of more help.

Hey, you did just fine.

I want you to take
a few days off.

Thanks, Mr. Wilkins.

I could use them.


Well, what do you think?

I don't know.

Maybe I'm getting
too old for this,

but up until six months ago,

the thefts around
here were well within

what the insurance companies
call an acceptable loss.

You know, a carton of this here,

a pallet of that there.

But since then...

It's become very selective,

very organized.

Well, I don't think your age
has anything to do with that.

I think you've been dealing
with a crack professional ring.


I don't know.

They seem to know

exactly when valuable
cargo is due in,

and which docks
it's arriving at.


That's our next question.

Who would have access

to this kind of information?


Customs, of course,


and, I suppose, a lot
of the longshoremen,

through the grapevine.

Sounds like one
hell of a grapevine.

Maybe we should've started with

who doesn't know when
the cargo's coming in?

Thanks, Mr. Wilkins.
We'll talk to you later.

Take care.

You know, I got a hunch

that we're going to come up

with a big fat zero at Customs.

You're building up
to a suggestion, right?


That last thing that
that gang ripped off

was 9000 Japanese cameras.

What does that
make you think of?

3,000 Japanese tourists?

How about a fence

big enough to handle them all?

How about Ezra Beame?

How about Ezra Beame?

Catch him?

Yeah, he promised
to meet us here

in five minutes.

Very funny.

Are you all right?

Yeah, we're all right.

That's easy for him to say.

He almost took my shoulder off

pushing me out of the way.

Starsky, have you ever
considered the possibility

that your priorities in life

are all screwed up?

You guys all right?

Yeah. We'll feel a lot better

when we find out who
was driving that truck.

Oh yeah, well...

Did you see him, Billy?

Well, I hate to tell you, but...

that was the guy
you were looking for.

Ted Banks.

It's like we expected
Banks to be here.

Never underestimate
the basic stupidity

of the criminal mind.

Japanese cameras.

Hey, it looks like

he took a few of the
samples with him.

Maybe we ought to
get the crime lab up here

and check it out.

Pay a visit to Ezra,

find out what happened

to the rest of them, huh?

You coming?

Yeah, sure.

After you.

Oh, no. Go ahead.

No. please. Be my guest.

Some other time.





Enter the sacred portals
of the Netherworld.

One hell of a scene, huh?

Oh yeah, terrific.

Well, how do you like the
way I converted the old pad?

Yeah, it's... real nice.

Got a lot of class, Ezra.

Who's your decorator,
Vincent Price?

Go on, Hutch,
you're putting me on,

you're putting me on.

Listen, I laugh all
the way to the bank.

Demonology and
devil worship, man.

That's the newest fad.

It's legal and tax-deductible.

These nuts and kooks
all wanna be sorcerers

and pay for the privilege.

I told you we were
in the wrong business.

We got a lot of broads
too, who want to be witches.

Interested in joining
my congregation?

Well, what we're interested
in is your preferred trade,

you know what
we're talking about.

Fencing stolen goods.

Come on, man, this
is a house of worship.

Yeah, Hutch, be sensitive.

It's this way, Ezra,

you don't give us the
information we want,

we're gonna break
your spooky organ.

Come on, you guys,

would I risk all of
this just for the sake

of making a few
bucks as a fence?

Come on, I'm legit. I'm clean.

I almost believe him.

I'm telling the truth.

Let's hope so, Ezra.

Nine thousand Japanese cameras,
they hit the docks yesterday.

We wanna know
where they are today.

Now, you remember, you owe us.

Last time out, we
let you off the hook,

because you ratted on
a couple of your friends.

Oh, no, not ratted,

he turned State's Evidence.

A man of the cloth
would never be as uncouth

as to rat on anybody.

Oh, that's right,

but somehow I think
the guys he dumped on

don't care what you call it,

if they were to find out.

All right, all right, look.

I'll... I'll make some
inquiries, all right, all right?

The boys don't trust me anymore

since I turned legit,

but I'll see what I can do.

We'd be grateful if
you did that, Ezra.

What do you
mean, the deal's off?

Like I told you, I'm
pulling out of this one.

Fence the cameras
somewhere else.

Impossible. I don't have time
to look for another connection.

Man, Starsky and
Hutch just left here,

and they didn't
believe a word I said.

I'm out of this one.

You're out of this, you're
out of the big score.

Hey, man, don't make
threats you can't back up.

I planned the big score.

Without my inside
man, you got nothing.

Eat the cameras.

I'll see you on Saturday.

I've already got the
million and a half.

All right, we'll
play it your way.

Now, there's stew,
and then there's stew.

But this...

is stew.

You know, Ken used to
live right next door to us

back East.


After Mr. Blake died,

sometimes I don't know

what we'd have done without him.

He became a real
big brother for Nancy.

He's a good boy,

but then you being his partner,

you'd know that, wouldn't you?

Well, he's okay.

Is that Billy here yet?

Mom, the apartment's
not that big.

You'd see him if he was.

Oh, I thought maybe he
was outside or something.

Dinner's ready.

I think David and
Ken would like to eat.

Ah, ah, ah.

Oh, no, that's okay.

Well, let's just wait
another ten minutes,

and if he's not here in
ten minutes, we can start.

Will you stop
drooling in the food?

I'm hungry.

You're embarrassing.

I know he's Catholic and all,

but I can't help worrying.

David, bring over the
stew, will you, dear?

That Billy, what do we
know about him anyway?

Nancy only met him
five or six months ago.

Oh, don't you worry, Mrs. Blake,

if Nancy picked him,
he can't be all bad.

What do you know?

David, what do you think?

Oh, I'm probably
not the best judge.

No, you seem like a young man

of great understanding to me.

Are you Catholic?


Just a little question.

No, Mrs. Blake,
I'm afraid I'm not.

Well, Mr. Blake wasn't either

when I first met him.

She never gives up, does she?

Let's not wait any longer.

Everybody sit down.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

I'm hungry, man.




Oh, uh, Starsky, it's for you.

Why don't they ever ask for you

when I'm about to eat?

Well, let's not wait,
and let it get cold.


I hear you guys
are looking for me.

That depends on who you are.

Ted Banks.

A friend told me
you guys were cool.

Mm-hm, and we
got a lot of questions

we want to ask you.

Well, I got some answers.

Um, look, you guys get over to
712 South Williams Boulevard,

apartment 3-B, but fast,

because you ain't the only
guys that are looking for me.


Ken, have some more, darling.

No, no, thank you, I'm fine.

Hutch, that was Ted Banks.

He wants a meet.

When? Now.

Look, I'm sorry. We're
going to have to go.

It's an emergency.

I'll pack you some to take.

No, there's no time.

Say hello to Billy
for us, will you?

Ah, ah. Let's go. Forget it.

You know, next time
I'm gonna keep nibbling.

You hear me? You
answer the phone.

Goodbye. Sorry.




Starsky, the window.

Ted, who did this to you?

It's because of the score.

What score?

I knew about the score.

What score?

Now, take it easy, take it easy.

Help's on its way.

What score?

It's hitting the
docks on Saturday.

Yeah, I need an ambulance to
712 South Williams Boulevard.

What's hitting the docks?

In a steel... box.


Ted, who did this to you?

No, no, thanks, I got all
the information I need.

If I need any
more, I'll call you.

Thank you.

Yeah, fine. We'll see you then.


It was Wilkins.

He'll meet us at the Port
Authority in the morning.


According to the manager,

Banks' father owns
this apartment.

He works as a dishwasher

down at a cafeteria on Third.

Guess we have
to go see him, then.


Let's go.

Wait a sec...


that guy we saw
running away from here?


It could be Billy.

Sure, or 20,000 other guys
that fit a general description.

20,000 other guys
aren't dating Nancy.

Look, listen for a second,

just one second.

Nancy is the secretary
for the head of security

at the Port Authority, right?

Okay, now, if you
were planning to rip off

incoming shipments of cargo,

you couldn't ask for a
better source of information.

Starsky, are you saying
that she's involved in this?

No, man, I can't believe that.

Her mother would never let her.


But that doesn't mean

that charming Billy
couldn't be using her.

Hutch, you gotta
consider the possibility.

I mean, look, that
gang started operating

about the same time

that Billy and Nancy
started to date, right?

I mean, what do you know
about the two of them?

I've known Nancy
since she was a kid.


Kids grow up, and
up until a month ago

when she called you
for you to give her away,

you hadn't heard
from her for a long time.

And as far as Billy
Desmond goes,

you don't know him at all.

This is the way Billy
folds his gum wrappers.


So at the time, I
didn't put it together,

but I saw gum wrappers
folded exactly like that

in Banks' apartment.

Starsky, it doesn't
make any sense.

Andy Wilkins isn't a stupid man.

He would have checked
out anybody dating Nancy.

Yeah, maybe he did,
and maybe he didn't,

but all I'm saying

is that we check
it out for ourselves.

You know something, Starsky,

sometimes you have
the most irritating quality.

Hey, don't lay that on me.

How do you think I
feel? She's your friend.

Did you have R&I
check out Billy Desmond?

Well, you don't think
I'd do something like that

without talking to you first.

When'd they say
they'd have a report?

Well, since he's
from out of town,

maybe tomorrow.


Mr. Banks?

Mr. Banks?


It's about your son.

Yeah, what about him?
He in trouble again?

Mr. Banks, your son is dead.

You guys wouldn't
kid me, would you?

No, sir.

He was murdered.

You guys know who did it?

We were hoping
you could help us.

We think your son was involved

with a gang of thieves

working the docks.

His shoes...

Did he have on my brown shoes?

Uh, I think you're going to
have to speak to the coroner

about that.

He asked me...

He asked me if he
could borrow them.

I... I paid $32 for
those shoes last week.

Mr. Banks...

if he was wearing the shoes,
I'm sure you can get them.

I don't wanna change the
subject, Mr. Banks, but...

did your son ever talk to you

about any of the people
he knew down at the docks?

They're bums, all of them.

I used to tell him, I said:

"You don't go to school,
you're going to wind up dead."

He'd never listen.

Mr. Banks...

Bums, bums...

Especially that guy

that was always telling Teddy
he was going to make him rich.

He's rich all right.

What's his name?

Oh, uh...

He works in some
store down there.

He runs a store. Uh...

They sell a lot of ship stuff.

A ship's chandlers?

Ship's... chandlers, yeah.

Is that what you call it?

You gonna be okay?

Um... I want my shoes.

There was a long
difficult struggle there,

he said,

and Steve almost quit,

because he was
playing behind Vince.

What's this? Some Italian name.

Zebra Three, Zebra Three...

This is Captain Dobey.

Come in, please.

Yeah, Zebra Three
here, what is it, captain?

I have your R&I read-back

on William Michael Desmond
from the state of Illinois.

Yeah, what you got?

Quite a bit.

In order:

1965, Desmond became
the youngest Eagle Scout

in the state.

Same year he graduated
from high school.

And then he has a change year.

Spent two years
at the university,

straight-A student,
and then dropped out.

Out of the university
and out of sight.

How long was he gone?

How long was he out of sight?

Let's see, He surfaces again

in 1970.

He was convicted of two counts

of armed robbery,

Served 26 months

in the State of Illinois Prison.

Hi, Billy. Hey, how you doing?

Our friend Wally
here is a little worried.


I don't know.

Ripping off cargo
shipments is one thing,

but a cop was killed last time.

Now you're asking us
to do armed robbery,

in broad daylight.

And to split $300,000 apiece.

That's a lot of
money, gentlemen.

I wouldn't want to jump
to any conclusions, Wally,

but that should be enough

to keep you in beer
and girlie magazines

for the rest of your life.

You make it sound real easy,
like you did with those cameras,

but you couldn't
unload them either.

Man, those people Saturday

are gonna be well-guarded.

Remember, I told you
our friend, Mr. Ezra Beame,

had an ace in the hole?


You are looking at the guy

who will be delivering
the diamonds.

Now, this is Hans Skyler,

vice president of
Vendeermer and Broun,

diamond merchants of Antwerp,

or to coin a phrase,
our inside man.

He's with us?

Bought, paid for,
and come Saturday...


Starsky and Hutch.

Hi, how are you doing?

Just about made it
under the wire, gentlemen.

We close at 6:30.

What can I do for you?

We're just checking some
of the shops in the area.

Mind if we look around?

No, not at all.

What are you looking for?



I've got some sextants on sale.


Good buy.

I'll see your dime and
raise you a quarter.

Well, when my yacht
comes in, I'll think sextant.


Be my guest.

Say, didn't I see this in
a Gene Autry Western?

You know, the bad
guys start playing cards

as soon as the lawmen come in?


Run for the hills,
high rollers, it's a raid.

The boys gather
here for a little...

rest and relaxation

whenever there's a
break in the work schedule.

Yeah, I bet they do.

You guys want to see me?

We were wondering about
your police record, Billy.

If you've told Nancy...

and B: if you're gonna
change your ways.

Yeah. Yeah, I told her,

and it was the hardest thing

I ever had to do in my life.

I told her I'd made
some mistakes...

and that was all
in the past now.

I wish I could believe you...

but suddenly,

something about you
makes my skin crawl.

Don't you guys know
that gambling's illegal?

Tsk, tsk.

All right.

They're getting too close.

This time we
can't afford to miss.

Of the seven ships due
to arrive on Saturday,

only these three are
carrying a valuable

and easily transportable cargo.

Would any of these
have their cargo

in steel boxes?

Not that I know of.

I'm going through all these
manifests again before I leave,

but I'm almost positive
there's nothing...

Banks said it's going
to arrive in a steel box?


Well, I can't for
the life of me,

think of what it is.

Well, I got a feeling

if we haven't already
changed minds for them,

we're gonna find
out on Saturday.

We'll make the arrangements

to have enough men
to cover the ships.

You know, just the possibility
of cleaning up this mess

makes me feel a lot...

What do you think you're doing?

Excuse me.

Nancy, I've got to talk to you.

You've done enough talking.

Billy just told me
what you said.

Listen to me...

I don't want to listen to you!

I just came here to tell you

to stay away from me and Billy,

and to stay away from my house,

and to stay away from
the church tomorrow.

I'll find someone
else to give me away.

All right...

All right, you find somebody
else to give you away,

but I don't think Billy'll
be there to receive you.

Anybody ever tell you

you got a terrific
way with women?

And you,

you stay away from my mother.

All ashore, that's going ashore.

I wish she hadn't done that.


Well, buddy, what do
you want to do now?

Well, let's see how we're going

to stake this place out, huh?

Good idea.

Hey, you know what movie
this place reminds me of?

No. What?

I don't remember the title,

but it had something
to do with the docks.

Docks, huh? Yeah.

Yeah, you know,
it was about a guy

who was smuggling in elephants

from Africa.


It was called...

Give Away on the Docks?


Halt, or I'll fire!

Hutch! Where are you?


Oh, no.

Hey, Hutch!

Hutch, you down there? Huh?


Damned water's so cold,
probably catch pneumonia.


Starsky, what are
you doing down there?

Just taking a swim.
How did you get up there?

I flew.

Would you hurry up and
get out of there, I'm freezing.


Excuse me, captain. Go ahead.

All right, let's go
over those again.

We've got the Suma
Maru, due in at Pier Six.

Jade figurines, et cetera.

The Lindero coming into Pier 12

with Swiss watches,

and the Star of Ceylon
scheduled for Pier 32

with a shipment
of rare antiques.

Okay then, that's
three piers to cover.


We'll stake out the three piers

and have a couple backup
units cruise the area.

By the way, how's Starsky?

Oh, he'll make the
stakeout, captain.

He wouldn't miss it.

Tell him I said to drink
a bottle of castor oil.

It'll make him feel fine.

Talk to you later, captain.

I don't know what's so funny.

You could have
answered me when I yelled.

I didn't have to
dive into that ocean.

You know how
much I hate the water.

Well, I didn't hesitate about
my own neurosis, did I?

When I pushed you out
of the way of that truck.

Yeah, you didn't catch
pneumonia, either.

Hey, Huggy.

Hey, man, what's happening?

Take a look.

I heard,

but don't turn your
toes up yet, Starsky.

Dr. Huggy Bear is
on tour with the cure.

You got a bowl and a spoon?


Mustard-green broth.

It ain't chicken soup, Starsky,

but where I come from,

it's just as effective.

There you go.

Come on, spoon it, Starsky.

Get it in your stomach

and feel strength and vigor

course through your body.

Just so long as it gets
me on my feet by tomorrow.

You know, I got a temperature,

thanks to you.

I'm dying.

Hey, Smitty.

How's it going?


I have a feeling they won't
make a move until after dark.

Oh well, maybe, maybe not.

So far, these guys aren't
your basic careful crooks.

They take chances.

Hey, Smitty, let me see those.

Hey, Starsk.

What? You got something?

That steel box. Ted
Banks' steel box?

What are you talking about?

It's an armored car. Let's go.




Very smooth. I'll
meet you at Beame's.

Don't count on it.

What did you do that for?!

Shut up.

I must...

I must...

I must get my briefcase.

Get an ambulance, will you?

Come on, now,
sit down, sit down.

You're gonna be okay.

What briefcase? What
are you talking about?

Come on, what did you
have in that briefcase?

Tell me. No.

What have you got?

He's talking about a briefcase.

We're going to find out
one way or the other, huh?

Who are you?

Precious stones...

three million dollars...

diamonds, rubies...

What difference does it make?

I was a fool,

I was... I was
a fool to trust...

Trust who?

Who, that's right,
who? Trust who?

The devil, the devil... Who?

The devil. The devil.

Take care of that man.

How did it go?

Cops all over the place,

including Hutch and Starsky.

And you came back here?

This is liable to
be the first place

they come looking for you.

Then we haven't got much time,

have we, Ezra?

Get the money, will you?

Three million in stones?

Ezra's gonna give
us a million and a half.

Why don't we keep it all?

Nobody would ever do
business with us again.

What, are you really planning
on sticking around town

after this?

Look, as close as
Starsky and Hutch was,

it was risky enough

going ahead
with this job at all.

What about the girl?

Well, the wedding's at 1:00.

I think by 2:00, she should
get the idea I'm not coming.

Where's Skyler?

I don't know.

I think he's got other things

on his mind right now.

Don't shoot, don't
shoot, don't shoot!

Cover me!

Don't shoot, don't
shoot, don't shoot!

Don't shoot, don't shoot.

Don't shoot, don't shoot!

Okay, okay. I've had enough.

Give me a reason.

Spread 'em out!

Well, looks like

I'm gonna be late again, huh?

Looks like it, Billy boy.

I feel so used.

I must have been such a fool

to love someone who
just didn't even care.

Let me tell you
something, Nancy...

From what we know,
there was a time

when the other
members of Billy's gang

wanted to get rid of you,

wanted to kill you.

He wouldn't let them do it.

He started out to use you,

and then in his own way,

and I guess as much
as he was capable of,

he fell in love with you too.

He was running away from me.

Maybe it was the nicest thing

he could do for you.

That's a fine thing
your partner's doing.

He lies very well.

You can certainly tell
Ken is not Catholic.

Why? Because he can lie?

Mrs. Blake, Billy's a Catholic.


Don't tell me you're going
to believe the likes of him?

Come on.

We got a lot of this to use up.

I think everything is
going to be all right.

That's fine for you to say,

you don't have a
spinster daughter

left on your hands.

Or a prospective son-in-law

who refuses to
take convert lessons.


All these long, sad
faces around here.

I paid $140 for that cake.


Maybe it can give
us some laughs.


Mrs. Blake...

Well, people always laughed

when the Three Stooges did it.


Oh no, no, no, Starsky,

you can't do that

to this nice dear sweet lady.

That's right.