Star Wars Rebels (2014–2018): Season 1, Episode 10 - Idiot's Array - full transcript
The wrong gamble with a new acquaintance forces the crew into transporting some unusual cargo.
Right. Like I'd let a droid tell me
how to play sabacc.
I'm in.
Hey, it doesn't have to be a big job, Jho.
Just something to put fuel in the Ghost
and food in our bellies.
Sorry, Kanan. Got nothing.
But the stranger playing
with Zeb over there
said he was looking
to hire a ship and crew.
Go talk to him.
Guess it's down to you and me.
Except... It seems I'm all outta creds.
So, I'll bet my droid.
You can't bet Chopper. He's...
See? I can't lose.
And you know we need the credits.
Right.
Do it.
So, do we have a bet?
We do.
Sabacc!
I win.
Not so fast.
It appears I have an Idiot's Array.
Which makes you, well...
And what does that make you?
Name's Calrissian. Lando Calrissian.
Now please,
introduce me to my new droid.
Hi. I can explain.
Explain what?
Hera, Sabine, Ezra.
This is Lando Calrissian.
He needs a fast ship
to move some cargo
past the Imperial blockade of Lothal.
Yes. For some reason, this planet has
an unusually large Imperial presence.
But are you sure you can get this vessel
past the blockade, Captain...
Hera, is it?
It is. And the Ghost can mask
both its signal and signature.
We'll get you past the blockade.
What's the cargo?
I was told, "No questions asked."
That's fine. It just costs more.
Kanan and I already settled on a price.
But I assume he requires your approval.
- He doesn't.
- Excellent.
When the job's done,
you'll be paid handsomely,
and, as agreed, I'll return your droid.
Return our droid?
Yeah. Funny story.
You see, Lando and I
were playing sabacc,
and I kinda bet Chopper.
Garazeb Orrelios,
Chopper wasn't yours to bet!
Kanan said it was okay.
And you should know better!
Chopper is a member of this crew!
We should go.
I need to pick up my cargo, and I don't
want to keep my supplier waiting.
Besides, if all goes well,
there won't be anything
for you good people to argue about.
You're quite the pilot.
That's the smoothest takeoff
I've had in years.
And you're quite
the smooth-talking smuggler.
"Smuggler"? Such a small word.
I'm more of a galactic entrepreneur.
That means businessperson.
I know what it means.
Chopper, I need you to
fix the signature modulator
so we can get past the blockade.
Chopper's right.
He's no longer a part of the crew.
He doesn't have to do
what you tell him anymore.
I can see you have
some things to work out.
I wonder, my new friend,
if you'd be kind enough
to give me a tour of this fine ship.
Why, thank you, Chopper.
Can't believe the little bolt bucket's
actually waiting on that guy.
I can't believe you lost Chopper.
Good thing I wasn't there.
You'd have bet me.
Nah.
You wouldn't have covered the pot.
Besides, I think Calrissian cheated.
You're just a sore loser.
Lando seems nice enough.
I'm telling you, I don't like that guy.
Sabine. I understand this is your work.
Reminds me of Janyor's
protest paintings on Bith.
Janyor of Bith is a major influence.
Well, your work
is even more stunning in its simplicity.
Hey, I told you your stuff was good
months ago.
Yeah, but you didn't know why.
Milady, that's hardly fair.
He's just a child
with no experience of the galaxy.
I... I don't suppose you'd like to see
my more impressionistic pieces?
I happen to be
an impressionistic connoisseur.
- That means...
- I know what it means.
- Hey, what does that mean?
- A lot less than he thinks.
I don't like that guy.
Merchant One, this is Calrissian.
Requesting permission to dock.
You have the goods?
Always.
Then permission granted.
Now, whatever I say, just play along.
Wait. What does that mean?
I hope you have a backup plan
in case something goes wrong.
No fear, Captain. If a comet hits,
this ship has escape pods.
That's not exactly
the kind of "wrong" I had in mind.
Good to see you again, Azmorigan.
I have what you ordered.
What do you have to offer in return?
Her name is Hera.
What?
You can't do this!
- Trust me.
- Hera!
A deal's a deal, Kanan.
Well, her attire is preposterous,
but the trade is acceptable.
Thank you, Lord Calrissian,
for delivering me to my new master.
I must find a way to repay you.
Please don't let it concern you.
Enough prattle.
You disturb my supper.
Take your cargo and go.
As always, Azmorigan,
a pleasure doing business with you.
Where's Hera?
Tell her about Hera, Lando.
Hera is following the plan,
which is what we should be doing
if we want to get her back.
- Where's Hera?
- What plan is she following?
- I told her to take an escape pod.
- You never told her that.
I did, actually.
Weren't you paying attention?
Besides, Hera strikes me
as very capable.
We are lucky to have a captain like her.
I know that.
Wait. What do you mean "we"?
Quite a day you're having.
First, you lose Chopper, now Hera.
What's in here?
Sophisticated mining equipment.
Sounds like your sophisticated
mining equipment is snoring.
Just don't open the box.
And whatever you do, keep it calm.
You need food?
I seem to have lost my appetite.
But perhaps you'd like me to serve you.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Good practice for you.
Serve me, serve me.
Be quick about it.
And perhaps you'd prefer to dine alone?
Yes.
Go, go. Leave us.
Beat it!
- Take the whole tray.
- What are you talking about?
The master desires
a little more alone time
while I change clothes in my quarters.
That was a really useful tray.
That Twi'lek's my property,
and I want my property back here now!
In a pod, as discussed.
You really should have
more faith in our captain.
Our captain?
We'll go prep the airlock.
Kanan, Hera's aboard.
We should probably
make ourselves scarce.
Somebody should.
You played that perfectly. Thank you.
You're welcome.
I deserved that.
But can we get back to the job at hand,
flying us past the Imperial blockade?
Otherwise, I don't have to pay you
or give your droid back.
What was in that crate?
Come on. I'll show you.
Calrissian said not to open it.
Yes. He did.
Kinda cute, whatever it is.
Catch it!
That's what was in the crate.
Grab that puffer pig, but don't scare her.
Got her!
You're scaring her!
I told you not to scare her.
I'm not scaring her!
Karabast!
- You see? You scared her.
- What is going on out here?
It's a puffer...
I don't want to know.
We've reached the blockade.
I could really use Hera
on this side of the pig right about now.
Yeah, I don't see that happening.
Any idea what the Imperials
are hoping to find with this blockade?
- Rebels?
- Besides that.
Unauthorized mining
equipment, perhaps.
And why would they be looking for that?
Maybe because I tried
smuggling some here a week ago.
Don't worry. The Imperials are scanning
for equipment, machinery.
But our girl here is 100%* organic.
Their scanners won't detect her,
so long as your ship
can mask its signature.
You know it can't
until you ask Chopper to fix it.
You're catching on.
All right, my little friend.
Would you like to be a hero
and fix it for me?
Admiral.
This Corellian ship
matches the description
of the rebel craft we've been looking for.
Okay, signature modulator's
back online.
And just in time.
No. Its signature reads
the freighter Tontine,
authorized for travel
between Boz Pity and Lothal.
Tontine, prepare for scanning.
Sabine, once we get back to Lothal,
I'd love to purchase some of your art.
Really? My work. You'd pay?
He'll pay.
Scans clear, Tontine.
You may proceed.
We're gonna make it!
Kid, not a good...
Idea.
The signature was masked.
That's the rebel ship!
All ships open fire!
Kanan, when they shoot at us,
Hera usually shoots back.
Yeah, well, I'm not Hera,
and I'm having enough trouble
just keeping ahead of these guys.
- Cloud cover!
- What?
- Find some.
- Right.
Good call, Hera.
I think we're in the clear.
You know, your job's a lot harder
than it looks.
Nice. He finally appreciates you.
All right.
Enough with the divide and conquer.
You think by setting us
against each other,
you'll keep us off-balance
enough to get what you want.
But what you want depends
on my crew working together in sync.
- Is that clear?
- As crystal, Captain.
A little help?
This time, try to keep it calm.
We don't want you inflating it again.
- Hey, it wasn't my fault.
- It's your face's fault.
This is your land?
Bought if off
a charming fellow named Vizago.
Perfect. But why was it so important
to get this pig here?
Because a puffer pig
has a nose for precious minerals.
It can do the job
of a dozen mining scanners.
And the Empire doesn't want
private landholders mining Lothal.
We're done here.
Pay us, and we'll be on our way.
He has other debts to pay.
Azmorigan?
You forget
I introduced you to Vizago, huh?
I knew where you were headed.
But your ship, you couldn't
have hidden it anywhere close.
Did you walk here?
You don't walk anywhere.
Well, I do what's necessary
to claim my property, Calrissian.
What do you want?
My demands are simple.
I want my pig back and you.
Plus this ship and this crew
as compensation for my sore feet.
But first, first, I want to bury Calrissian.
Yeah, yeah, I understand the feeling.
- But no.
- Now, wait.
Let's consider that last demand
for a sec.
I've run out of patience! Get them!
Get back!
Chopper, don't hide there!
It's a fuel canister!
No lightsabers, not unless we're...
You worry too much.
Hey, mine doesn't do that.
Nope. I might not be able
to sword fight yet, but I can shoot.
Kid, you continue to impress.
Nice shot, Lando!
Yeah, just not as much as Lando.
Zeb. The pig! Scare it!
What? How?
Just be you.
Hey, pig!
You're welcome!
New terms.
I get Calrissian, and this one lives.
I get Calrissian, and you all can go free.
- You got it.
- Deal.
It's tempting, but the answer's still no.
My terms. You and your men leave now,
and we let you live.
Start walking.
I like everything that just happened
except that you let Azmorigan live.
That'll be a problem for me later.
I think you have a problem now.
You don't have the credits you owe us,
do you? In fact, you never did.
But I will once my baby's
worked her magic.
You mean, if she finds
what you're looking for,
and you've mined
and smuggled it off-world?
I can give you back your droid.
That won't satisfy your debt to me.
Not after what you pulled.
Then how about we settle that debt
with a little game of sabacc?
Then you'll just have to owe me one.
Don't worry, my small metal friend.
We shall meet again.
Come on. I saved your circuits.
Isn't that apology enough?
So that's it?
We just walk away without the creds?
- Well, we got Chopper back.
- I'm looking for a positive here.
There are a lot of things
we couldn't accomplish without him.
You should appreciate that more.
I always appreciated you, Sabine.
Yes, Ezra, I know.
Course, we still need food and fuel.
Hey, Chopper stole Lando's fuel!
You mean
he was playing Lando the whole time?
Good job, Chopper.
Anyone that fools Lando
is okay with me.
Of course I knew they took the fuel.
That's why I didn't pay them.
A gambler never shows his cards.
Till we meet again!
how to play sabacc.
I'm in.
Hey, it doesn't have to be a big job, Jho.
Just something to put fuel in the Ghost
and food in our bellies.
Sorry, Kanan. Got nothing.
But the stranger playing
with Zeb over there
said he was looking
to hire a ship and crew.
Go talk to him.
Guess it's down to you and me.
Except... It seems I'm all outta creds.
So, I'll bet my droid.
You can't bet Chopper. He's...
See? I can't lose.
And you know we need the credits.
Right.
Do it.
So, do we have a bet?
We do.
Sabacc!
I win.
Not so fast.
It appears I have an Idiot's Array.
Which makes you, well...
And what does that make you?
Name's Calrissian. Lando Calrissian.
Now please,
introduce me to my new droid.
Hi. I can explain.
Explain what?
Hera, Sabine, Ezra.
This is Lando Calrissian.
He needs a fast ship
to move some cargo
past the Imperial blockade of Lothal.
Yes. For some reason, this planet has
an unusually large Imperial presence.
But are you sure you can get this vessel
past the blockade, Captain...
Hera, is it?
It is. And the Ghost can mask
both its signal and signature.
We'll get you past the blockade.
What's the cargo?
I was told, "No questions asked."
That's fine. It just costs more.
Kanan and I already settled on a price.
But I assume he requires your approval.
- He doesn't.
- Excellent.
When the job's done,
you'll be paid handsomely,
and, as agreed, I'll return your droid.
Return our droid?
Yeah. Funny story.
You see, Lando and I
were playing sabacc,
and I kinda bet Chopper.
Garazeb Orrelios,
Chopper wasn't yours to bet!
Kanan said it was okay.
And you should know better!
Chopper is a member of this crew!
We should go.
I need to pick up my cargo, and I don't
want to keep my supplier waiting.
Besides, if all goes well,
there won't be anything
for you good people to argue about.
You're quite the pilot.
That's the smoothest takeoff
I've had in years.
And you're quite
the smooth-talking smuggler.
"Smuggler"? Such a small word.
I'm more of a galactic entrepreneur.
That means businessperson.
I know what it means.
Chopper, I need you to
fix the signature modulator
so we can get past the blockade.
Chopper's right.
He's no longer a part of the crew.
He doesn't have to do
what you tell him anymore.
I can see you have
some things to work out.
I wonder, my new friend,
if you'd be kind enough
to give me a tour of this fine ship.
Why, thank you, Chopper.
Can't believe the little bolt bucket's
actually waiting on that guy.
I can't believe you lost Chopper.
Good thing I wasn't there.
You'd have bet me.
Nah.
You wouldn't have covered the pot.
Besides, I think Calrissian cheated.
You're just a sore loser.
Lando seems nice enough.
I'm telling you, I don't like that guy.
Sabine. I understand this is your work.
Reminds me of Janyor's
protest paintings on Bith.
Janyor of Bith is a major influence.
Well, your work
is even more stunning in its simplicity.
Hey, I told you your stuff was good
months ago.
Yeah, but you didn't know why.
Milady, that's hardly fair.
He's just a child
with no experience of the galaxy.
I... I don't suppose you'd like to see
my more impressionistic pieces?
I happen to be
an impressionistic connoisseur.
- That means...
- I know what it means.
- Hey, what does that mean?
- A lot less than he thinks.
I don't like that guy.
Merchant One, this is Calrissian.
Requesting permission to dock.
You have the goods?
Always.
Then permission granted.
Now, whatever I say, just play along.
Wait. What does that mean?
I hope you have a backup plan
in case something goes wrong.
No fear, Captain. If a comet hits,
this ship has escape pods.
That's not exactly
the kind of "wrong" I had in mind.
Good to see you again, Azmorigan.
I have what you ordered.
What do you have to offer in return?
Her name is Hera.
What?
You can't do this!
- Trust me.
- Hera!
A deal's a deal, Kanan.
Well, her attire is preposterous,
but the trade is acceptable.
Thank you, Lord Calrissian,
for delivering me to my new master.
I must find a way to repay you.
Please don't let it concern you.
Enough prattle.
You disturb my supper.
Take your cargo and go.
As always, Azmorigan,
a pleasure doing business with you.
Where's Hera?
Tell her about Hera, Lando.
Hera is following the plan,
which is what we should be doing
if we want to get her back.
- Where's Hera?
- What plan is she following?
- I told her to take an escape pod.
- You never told her that.
I did, actually.
Weren't you paying attention?
Besides, Hera strikes me
as very capable.
We are lucky to have a captain like her.
I know that.
Wait. What do you mean "we"?
Quite a day you're having.
First, you lose Chopper, now Hera.
What's in here?
Sophisticated mining equipment.
Sounds like your sophisticated
mining equipment is snoring.
Just don't open the box.
And whatever you do, keep it calm.
You need food?
I seem to have lost my appetite.
But perhaps you'd like me to serve you.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Good practice for you.
Serve me, serve me.
Be quick about it.
And perhaps you'd prefer to dine alone?
Yes.
Go, go. Leave us.
Beat it!
- Take the whole tray.
- What are you talking about?
The master desires
a little more alone time
while I change clothes in my quarters.
That was a really useful tray.
That Twi'lek's my property,
and I want my property back here now!
In a pod, as discussed.
You really should have
more faith in our captain.
Our captain?
We'll go prep the airlock.
Kanan, Hera's aboard.
We should probably
make ourselves scarce.
Somebody should.
You played that perfectly. Thank you.
You're welcome.
I deserved that.
But can we get back to the job at hand,
flying us past the Imperial blockade?
Otherwise, I don't have to pay you
or give your droid back.
What was in that crate?
Come on. I'll show you.
Calrissian said not to open it.
Yes. He did.
Kinda cute, whatever it is.
Catch it!
That's what was in the crate.
Grab that puffer pig, but don't scare her.
Got her!
You're scaring her!
I told you not to scare her.
I'm not scaring her!
Karabast!
- You see? You scared her.
- What is going on out here?
It's a puffer...
I don't want to know.
We've reached the blockade.
I could really use Hera
on this side of the pig right about now.
Yeah, I don't see that happening.
Any idea what the Imperials
are hoping to find with this blockade?
- Rebels?
- Besides that.
Unauthorized mining
equipment, perhaps.
And why would they be looking for that?
Maybe because I tried
smuggling some here a week ago.
Don't worry. The Imperials are scanning
for equipment, machinery.
But our girl here is 100%* organic.
Their scanners won't detect her,
so long as your ship
can mask its signature.
You know it can't
until you ask Chopper to fix it.
You're catching on.
All right, my little friend.
Would you like to be a hero
and fix it for me?
Admiral.
This Corellian ship
matches the description
of the rebel craft we've been looking for.
Okay, signature modulator's
back online.
And just in time.
No. Its signature reads
the freighter Tontine,
authorized for travel
between Boz Pity and Lothal.
Tontine, prepare for scanning.
Sabine, once we get back to Lothal,
I'd love to purchase some of your art.
Really? My work. You'd pay?
He'll pay.
Scans clear, Tontine.
You may proceed.
We're gonna make it!
Kid, not a good...
Idea.
The signature was masked.
That's the rebel ship!
All ships open fire!
Kanan, when they shoot at us,
Hera usually shoots back.
Yeah, well, I'm not Hera,
and I'm having enough trouble
just keeping ahead of these guys.
- Cloud cover!
- What?
- Find some.
- Right.
Good call, Hera.
I think we're in the clear.
You know, your job's a lot harder
than it looks.
Nice. He finally appreciates you.
All right.
Enough with the divide and conquer.
You think by setting us
against each other,
you'll keep us off-balance
enough to get what you want.
But what you want depends
on my crew working together in sync.
- Is that clear?
- As crystal, Captain.
A little help?
This time, try to keep it calm.
We don't want you inflating it again.
- Hey, it wasn't my fault.
- It's your face's fault.
This is your land?
Bought if off
a charming fellow named Vizago.
Perfect. But why was it so important
to get this pig here?
Because a puffer pig
has a nose for precious minerals.
It can do the job
of a dozen mining scanners.
And the Empire doesn't want
private landholders mining Lothal.
We're done here.
Pay us, and we'll be on our way.
He has other debts to pay.
Azmorigan?
You forget
I introduced you to Vizago, huh?
I knew where you were headed.
But your ship, you couldn't
have hidden it anywhere close.
Did you walk here?
You don't walk anywhere.
Well, I do what's necessary
to claim my property, Calrissian.
What do you want?
My demands are simple.
I want my pig back and you.
Plus this ship and this crew
as compensation for my sore feet.
But first, first, I want to bury Calrissian.
Yeah, yeah, I understand the feeling.
- But no.
- Now, wait.
Let's consider that last demand
for a sec.
I've run out of patience! Get them!
Get back!
Chopper, don't hide there!
It's a fuel canister!
No lightsabers, not unless we're...
You worry too much.
Hey, mine doesn't do that.
Nope. I might not be able
to sword fight yet, but I can shoot.
Kid, you continue to impress.
Nice shot, Lando!
Yeah, just not as much as Lando.
Zeb. The pig! Scare it!
What? How?
Just be you.
Hey, pig!
You're welcome!
New terms.
I get Calrissian, and this one lives.
I get Calrissian, and you all can go free.
- You got it.
- Deal.
It's tempting, but the answer's still no.
My terms. You and your men leave now,
and we let you live.
Start walking.
I like everything that just happened
except that you let Azmorigan live.
That'll be a problem for me later.
I think you have a problem now.
You don't have the credits you owe us,
do you? In fact, you never did.
But I will once my baby's
worked her magic.
You mean, if she finds
what you're looking for,
and you've mined
and smuggled it off-world?
I can give you back your droid.
That won't satisfy your debt to me.
Not after what you pulled.
Then how about we settle that debt
with a little game of sabacc?
Then you'll just have to owe me one.
Don't worry, my small metal friend.
We shall meet again.
Come on. I saved your circuits.
Isn't that apology enough?
So that's it?
We just walk away without the creds?
- Well, we got Chopper back.
- I'm looking for a positive here.
There are a lot of things
we couldn't accomplish without him.
You should appreciate that more.
I always appreciated you, Sabine.
Yes, Ezra, I know.
Course, we still need food and fuel.
Hey, Chopper stole Lando's fuel!
You mean
he was playing Lando the whole time?
Good job, Chopper.
Anyone that fools Lando
is okay with me.
Of course I knew they took the fuel.
That's why I didn't pay them.
A gambler never shows his cards.
Till we meet again!