Star Trek: Voyager (1995–2001): Season 3, Episode 11 - The Q and the Grey - full transcript

Oh!

- Incredible.
- Absolutely thrilling.

All I can say is... wow! I... I can't...

What about you, Mr Vulcan?
Isn't that just... wow?

Your inarticulate expression of awe
notwithstanding, it was fascinating.

That's the shock wave. The pressure
is 30% more than we predicted.

Back us off at full impulse.
I want to stay ahead of that wave.

Congratulations. Only two other crews
have witnessed a supernova explosion.

Neither was this close.
Ten billion kilometres. A record.

- Who brought the champagne?
- If I thought you wanted...

- Relax. It's a figure of speech.
- Thanks for inviting us to watch.



It's got me interested
in stellar phenomena.

Anyone can stargaze on the bridge.
Even a hologram with a mobile emitter.

But the real action is always in sickbay.

- How were the shield modifications?
- A 7% power drain.

Good job. Chakotay, let's analyse
the carbon conversion readings.

You've been on the bridge for 14 hours.
You deserve a rest.

Harry and I will work on it
and we'll report in the morning.

You win. I'll see you at 0700.

- Janeway to security. Intruder alert.
- No need to call room service.

- I've already ordered.
- Q!

- You said you wanted champagne.
- Security. Intruder alert.

No use. I took the proverbial phone off
the hook. We don't want interruptions.

- What are you doing here?
- To us.

- There is no us, Q.
- The night is young.



- And the sheets are satin.
- I want you out. And get rid of this bed.

I don't intend to get between Starfleet
sheets. They give me a terrible rash.

Since you won't be using the bed,
don't worry.

Kathy, don't be such a prude.

Admit it. It has been a while.

- It's going be a while longer. Get out.
- So tense.

Why don't you slip
into something more comfortable?

If you think this puerile attempt at
seduction will work, you're self-deluded.

I see. You think I'm interested
in some tawdry one-night stand.

That's because I haven't told you
why I'm here yet.

Out of all the females,
of all the species, in all the galaxies,

I have chosen you
to be the mother of my child.

You're probably asking yourself,

"Why would a handsome being like Q,

"want to mate with a scrawny

"little bipedal specimen like me?"

Let me guess. No one will have you.

I could have chosen a Klingon targ,

the Romulan empress,

a Cyrillian microbe.

I beat out a single-celled organism?

How flattering.

It's an overwhelming honour.

I can't get you out of my mind.

You're confident, passionate...

And totally uninterested.

Kathy, you can't leave.

My cosmic clock is ticking.

You have no idea what you're missing.

Foreplay with a Q can last for decades.

I'm busy for the next 60 or 70 years.

This is one of those silly human rituals.

You're playing hard to get.

For you, Q, I'm impossible to get.

Goody! A challenge. This will be fun.

Janeway to bridge.

I thought you were going to sleep.

I've had a visit from Q. He's gone now.

But I want to be notified if he reappears

or if anything odd starts to happen.

Acknowledged. What did he want?

Let's just say
he had a personal request.

- Captain?
- I'm not sure what he's really up to.

But I have a feeling he'll be back.
Janeway out.

Come in.

I've got the carbon conversion
readings from the supernova.

Is there something else?

- Have you heard anything more from Q?
- No.

I wish I could believe he's gone for good.

I was wondering what you meant when
you said he made a personal request.

He wants to mate with me.

- I see.
- Obviously, it's out of the question.

And I suspect it's a smoke screen.
Q's probably got a hidden agenda.

- Maybe.
- Chakotay...

I have no right to feel this way,
but this bothers the hell out of me.

You're jealous.
You didn't say there was another man.

There isn't.
I'm just not interested in you.

- Any more questions?
- I was wondering, Kathy.

What could anyone see in this big oaf?

Is it the tattoo? Because mine's bigger.

Not big enough.

Captain's log, stardate 50384.2.

Q's visits continue. I suspect
he's up to more than pursuing me,

so I've instructed the crew
to try to uncover his true motives.

Who says crew performance reports
have to be a chore?

- Sure beats working on the bridge.
- If we could just hold briefings here.

That'll be the day.

Nice program, Tommy. But it's
all just so much hole-pleasure.

All right, Q, what do you want?

Guys, I just don't understand
your captain. I've tried everything.

Filling the bridge with roses,
writing Drabian love sonnets,

- serenading her in her bath.
- I bet she loved that.

No matter what lengths I go to win
her heart, she rejects me. Me!

How, I ask, is that possible?

Did it occur to you
that she doesn't like you?

No.

Look, Q, we've been told about
your appearances on the Enterprise.

Your visits usually turn out to be
more than meet the eye.

So save your broken-heart routine
and tell us what you're after.

I thought you two might be able
to give me some advice

on how to break through Kathy's
icy exterior, you know, man-to-man.

My advice would be to give up

before you embarrass yourself
any more than you already have.

Come on, Harry. We're not going
to get a straight answer out of him.

You, bar rodent,
another one of these fruity concoctions.

Not unless you tell me why
you're bothering Captain Janeway.

That's a subject I want to discuss.
What are some of her favourite things?

Chocolate truffles? Stuffed animals?
Erotic art?

You can't bribe Captain Janeway.

- Isn't that what you do?
- What are you talking about?

I understand
that you acquire things for her,

create little interesting diversions,
prepare little tasty treats.

After all, why else would she be
so fond of your fur-lined face?

Do you want to know
what Captain Janeway likes about me?

I am respectful, loyal
and, most of all, sincere.

Those are qualities which someone
like you could never hope to possess.

- This isn't going to work, Q.
- How can you ignore that face?

He's adorable. But this has to stop.

Please, accept him
as a small token of my affection.

- No.
- Suit yourself. May we talk? Just talk.

Ahem.

I'm afraid that I haven't been sincere.

When you first asked
why I wanted to have a child with you,

I made jokes, bragged about my
prowess, engaged in sexual innuendo.

I was covering up my true feelings.

And you want to share
your true feelings with me now?

- I'm lonely.
- Lonely?

I know it's hard to believe,
but I've been single for billions of years.

It was fun at first,
gallivanting around the galaxy,

using my omnipotence
to impress females of every species.

The fact of the matter is,
it left me empty.

I want someone to love me for myself.

I guess what I'm saying is,
I want a relationship.

I just thought if you and I had a child,

it would give me that kind of stability
and security that I've been missing.

Sorry, Q. I'm not buying it.

Oh. All right. Let's see if you buy this.

You're stuck
thousands of light years from home

and you aren't getting
any younger, are you?

All your hopes for home, hearth,
a family, grow dimmer every day.

Admit it, Kathryn, you're lonely, too.

And you wonder
if you will ever have a child.

You're right.
I would like to have a child someday.

- But not with you.
- Why not?

I'm not
the right kind of woman for you.

- Truer words were never spoken.
- Q! How did you find me?

Never mind that.
What are you doing with that dog?

I'm not talking about the puppy.

Can't you see I'm busy here?
Stop stalking me.

- You should be back in the Continuum.
- Excuse me, but who are you exactly?

- Kathryn Janeway, may I present Q.
- Not just any Q. His Q.

- We were involved... for a while.
- About four billion years.

And you desert me to pollute the
Continuum with this little being's DNA.

- I never said it was exclusive.
- Stay away from him.

Look, Miss Q,
I'll save you a lot of trouble.

- I have zero interest in him.
- See what you've done?

- And I was finally making progress.
- Captain, come to the bridge.

On my way. I'd appreciate you taking
this domestic squabble off my ship.

- Report.
- You won't believe it.

Another star went supernova.
It's .02 light years from our position.

Make that two supernovas. I just picked
up another one at 217, mark 47.

- Time of implosion is 67 seconds.
- Get us out of here, Tom.

I can't. A shock wave
is collapsing the warp field.

Red Alert. Increase shield power.

Tom, lay in a course
away from that shock wave.

A star going supernova is an event that
occurs once a century in this galaxy.

We're about to witness a third
in three days, all in the same sector.

I suspect
you have something to do with this.

She is from an intellectually-challenged
species, but she's right.

Your irresponsible behaviour
has cosmic consequences.

Will you stop overreacting? Always
nagging. Now you see why I left her.

- Are you causing these supernovas?
- Well, not exactly.

- What does that mean?
- It's no use.

- It is too fast for us.
- Evasive manoeuvres.

A course correction is futile.

Three shock waves are heading toward
us. It is impossible to avoid them all.

Divert power to the shields.
You can get us out of here, so do it.

16 seconds to impact.
The shields won't hold.

Do something, Q.

Well, if you insist.

That two-timing toad!

- Contact within three seconds.
- All hands brace for impact.

Q, where have you taken me?

Well, I must admit,
your gown is very becoming.

I don't have time for your fantasies.
Return me to Voyager.

This is no fantasy.
You're in the Q Continuum now.

- The Continuum?
- That's right.

You're perceiving it in the context
your human mind can comprehend.

The last time you brought me here, it
was like a way station on a desert road.

It was awfully drab, wasn't it? But this...

This is a more colourful representation
for an American human.

A manor house,
a beautiful southern belle,

a Union officer
determined to win her affections,

despite her hatred for Yankees.

Enough. The only thing that interests
me is the welfare of my ship.

Well, I'm sure your first officer...
Chuckles, is it?

I'm sure
he's got everything under control.

- I'd like to make sure of that myself.
- This has gone way beyond your ship.

It's even gone beyond you and me.

This is about the future
of the Continuum itself.

Stop speaking in riddles
and tell me what's going on.

I'll do better than that. I'll show you.

The Continuum is burning.
The Q are in the middle of a civil war.

- Start explaining.
- Do you remember our friend Quinn?

He committed suicide aboard Voyager.

Do you recall what I said might happen
if he took his own life?

You said it would represent
an interruption to the Continuum.

- It could have dire consequences.
- I'd say a civil war is pretty dire.

His death caused this conflict?

It caused chaos and upheaval.

Because even though he was gone,
his calls for freedom

still echoed in the ears of those who
believed in him, myself among them.

I sounded the trumpet
and carried the banner.

Naturally, others followed.

The forces of the status quo
tried to crush us, but we fought back.

Now there's a cosmic struggle for
supremacy and the battle is spreading,

causing repercussions
throughout the galaxy.

The supernovas.

You might call them... galactic crossfire.

It's terrible,
but it's also a wonderful opportunity.

- I see nothing wonderful about war.
- It can bring change.

It can transform society for the better.

Your civil war
brought an end to slavery.

Ours came before mankind had learned
to resolve disputes without bloodshed.

Surely the Q have evolved and can find
a non-violent way to resolve a conflict.

- That's where you come in.
- What have I to do with it?

Help me transform the Continuum the
way civil war transformed your nation.

- By mating with you?
- I know. It's brilliant, isn't it?

How can a baby end a war being fought
by a race of omnipotent beings?

It's simple.
Mating will create a new breed of Q.

It will combine my omnipotence
and intellect with the best of humanity.

You believe human DNA
is going to restore peace?

Precisely. What the Continuum needs
right now is an infusion of fresh blood,

a new sensibility, a new leader,
a new messiah.

Think of it. Our child will be a precious
stone tossed into the cosmic lake,

sending ripples of human compassion

to wash up on every shore
of the universe.

What greater contribution could a being
of your limited power hope to make?

What is more important
to humanity than peace?

I'm offering you the opportunity
to be the mother of peace.

Well, what's it going to be?

Q!

You're bleeding.

- Report.
- Shield strength is at 20%.

Hull damage on decks 9 to 14.

- Minor injuries on all decks.
- Warp drive off-line.

According to these readings,

we've been knocked 16 billion
kilometres from our previous location.

What is going on?
Where is Janeway?

Let me go before I hurl this ship
into the Therinian Ice Age.

- I don't think you can.
- Don't be ridiculous.

Something's affected your powers.

Otherwise,
you wouldn't be here with a bruise.

Now start talking
before I hurl you into the brig.

And it's the war in the Continuum
that's causing the supernovas?

I presume this conflict is responsible
for the weakening of your powers.

The Vulcan talent for stating
the obvious amazes me.

How could Q re-enter
the Continuum and you couldn't?

I tried to return,
but I was wounded in the process.

Don't try to understand. It's beyond
your capacity to comprehend.

What's important is
I'm stuck here with you mortals

and Q is probably irreparably harming
the Continuum with that woman.

Tossed aside
for someone five billion years younger.

If it weren't so laughable, I'd cry.

Look, we want our captain back
and you obviously want to get home.

- Why don't we help each other?
- How could you possibly help me?

There has to be a way to the Continuum
besides snapping your fingers.

Well, there's one possibility.

I don't think this rickety barge or your
half-witted crew are up to the challenge.

May I remind you, madam, that this
rickety barge and its half-witted crew

are your only hope at the moment.

- That hurts.
- Be still.

I never thought a Q could be injured.

This is only a perception
of what is happening.

Those are not mere cannonballs
and lead charges being fired at us.

So they're some sort of Q weapons?

You'd be surprised what
munitions can be created

by an immortal being
who's set his mind on killing.

Hold your fire.
You're surrounded, Q. Surrender now.

- We'll be merciful.
- Call a truce. Talk to them.

- You can resolve it peacefully.
- What's your answer?

- I'll never surrender! You know that!
- Resume fire.

- Get a rifle and take the other window.
- This is your fight, not mine.

If their weapons can make me bleed,
what do you think they'll do to you?

Q!

Come on.

First officer's log,
stardate 50392.7.

While we don't understand
the astrophysics,

the female Q has
suggested modifications

to allow Voyager
to enter the Continuum.

- Well?
- Well, what?

Are you finished yet?

This requires a reconfiguration
of the shield array. It takes a while.

- For us mere morals.
- Surely you can speed up the process.

If you're in a hurry,
snap your fingers and do it yourself.

That's right. You've lost your powers
and you need our help.

Do you understand it's imperative I get
back before Q mates with your captain?

I understand. You aren't the first female
to have a man run out on her.

I hope you're not comparing a failed
romance in your pitiful existence

to my eternal association with Q.

I have really had it
with this superiority complex of yours.

- It's not a complex, dear. It's a fact.
- Here's another fact.

If you don't stop pestering me,
I won't finish

and your association with Q might
not be quite as eternal as you think.

I've always liked Klingon females.
You've got such spunk.

- Where are we?
- One of your faction's encampments.

- How?
- I pulled you out of the mansion

and hid you from the enemy patrols.

Then I spotted some of your people
retreating from the battle.

From the look of them,
I'd say you're not on the winning side.

- You saved my life.
- Now it's time to end all this.

I knew you'd come around.

I've been thinking about what you said,

that creating a new Q
could bring an era of peace.

My wild, sweet Kathy.
I promise you won't regret it.

Oh, you're not going
to have a child with me.

You're going to mate with that charming
lady friend of yours on my ship.

Mate with another Q? Ridiculous.

It sounded like
you had a long-term relationship.

Yes, but it was never physical.

I mean, the Q are way beyond sex.
It's never been done.

Really? Then how did the Q
come into existence in the first place?

The Q didn't come into existence.
The Q have always existed.

Besides, I can only mate with a species
capable of copulation, like you.

- But I don't love you, Q.
- What has that got to do with it?

It's the foundation of a family. I can't
have a child with someone I don't love,

much less give it up to the Continuum.

I would never dream of having you
give it up. Who would look after it?

I'm really not cut out to be a wet nurse.

- You're not willing to do the hard work?
- I'm an idea man.

Hard work isn't my forte.

Change specialties. The trouble
you're in needs more than a quick fix.

You can't sprinkle human DNA
into the Continuum and make it all right.

Why not?

Those best qualities of humanity
aren't a simple matter of genetics.

Love, conscience, compassion -

they're attributes
that have developed over centuries.

Values passed
from one generation to the next,

taught by parents to their children.

Creating a new kind of Q
is a noble idea,

but it will take more than impregnating
someone and walking away.

If you want your offspring to embrace
your ideals, teach them yourself.

That's exactly why I want you here,
to nourish and guide the little tyke.

Think of the opportunities here.

The entire universe
would be our child's playground.

Together the two of you could explore
dimensions you've never imagined.

Fess up. Isn't it even slightly tempting?

I'd be lying if I said no.

What explorer isn't intrigued by the
idea of seeking out new dimensions?

But I have other responsibilities
and I won't just abandon them.

Oh, yes. The crew
of the intrepid starship Voyager.

Perhaps you want to send them home.

You tempted me
with that prospect before.

But frankly, your credibility
is more than a little suspect.

We will get home.
We're committed to that.

We're going to do it through
hard work and determination.

We are not looking for a quick fix.

If I wanted to mate, I wouldn't know how.
It's unprecedented.

You'll figure something out.
You are omnipotent, after all.

- I need time to think about it.
- Time's up.

You've got to stop this war
before it destroys the Continuum.

I'm taking a white flag
to the enemy camp

to tell them you're ready
to talk about terms for a ceasefire.

- Kathy, don't be a hero.
- I'm going, Q.

So if I were you, I'd start working
on a way to set that precedent.

First officer's log, supplemental.

We've laid in a course for where
the Q says we can enter the Continuum.

You, helm boy.
Adjust course to heading 235, mark 0.8.

- Increase speed to maximum impulse.
- Sir?

- Commander?
- What is it?

We're on course
for a star about to go supernova.

- You wanted to go into the Continuum?
- In one piece.

Try to wrap your mind around this.

The supernovas are caused by spatial
disruptions within the Continuum.

When a star implodes, a negative
density false vacuum is created,

which sucks matter into the Continuum.

- So we get pulled in?
- If we time it perfectly.

Otherwise,
you'll be blown to fragments.

I needn't remind you that close
proximity to a supernova will crush us.

- Even if we time it perfectly.
- You're so negative.

- He has a point.
- Humanoids. Q to engineering.

- Go ahead, Q.
- Take warp drive off-line.

Remodulate shields
to emit a beta-tachyon pulse.

Emit focused antiproton beams
to the shield bubble.

- Does this make any sense?
- I don't understand it completely.

But if she's thinking what I think she is,

we should increase power
to the shields by a factor of ten.

Assuming the shield bubble
doesn't burn us to a crisp.

We'll reach the star in 13 seconds.
I still have time to change course.

Maintain your course.
B'Elanna, remodulate the shields.

- Get ready to emit the antiprotons.
- Acknowledged.

Entering the star's corona
in three seconds.

Antiprotons now, B'Elanna.

Ah. Captain Janeway, I presume.
You're dismissed.

I'm sorry to have kept you waiting,
madam, but... Ah, please sit down.

I understand
you walked into our camp unarmed?

- That's right.
- The Continuum is dangerous for us all,

not to mention a solitary human female.
I admire your bravery.

I come with an offer of a truce from Q.

I'm afraid the time for diplomacy
has passed.

If we don't end the war quickly,
subspace damage will be irreversible.

- You agree the fighting has to stop?
- Most certainly.

We intend to conclude this war
by the most expedient means possible.

I'm relieved to hear you say that.

- May I ask how?
- Quite simple, really.

Since Q is the ringleader of the freedom
faction, we have to execute him.

With all due respect, there are no
chapters in my own people's history

more tragic than wars
which set neighbour against neighbour.

Q has an idea for a non-violent way
to bring this conflict to an end.

I urge you to listen
to what he has to say.

We are already resolved. I'd be in your
debt if you'd tell me where to find him.

- I won't do that.
- No, I didn't think you would.

Excuse me, sir.

- We won't need your assistance.
- He's willing to negotiate. Let him go.

- She's right.
- Grovel all you want, Q.

I've waited for this for an eternity.
Put them in chains.

Wait! What are you charging me with?

Collaborating with the enemy. In the
Continuum, that is punishable by death.

- Captain.
- Private.

Why won't you listen to me?
We can resolve the situation peacefully.

If it's any consolation,
some will remember us as martyrs.

I'd rather skip that particular honour.

Still, there's something romantic
about going to our deaths together.

Do you have any last words?

I won't plead for my own life. From
your perspective it seems insignificant.

But what is not insignificant is
that the Q, as an omnipotent race,

have an opportunity to set a higher
standard for other beings in the galaxy.

I implore you, don't go through with this

and continue using violence
to resolve differences.

Q, do you have anything to add?

Today I sacrifice my existence for the
principles of freedom and individuality

that I have fought for so long.

But this woman is innocent.

What's more, she saved my life and
she tried to save us from each other.

Kill me if you must, but let her go.

A very touching speech, Q.

But as usual, your rhetoric fails
to compensate for your irresponsibility.

Ready!

Aim!

- I'm sorry.
- I know.

- Fire!
- I'm hit!

I'm dying!

Q, they're not firing at us.

They're not?

Harry, get to the captain!

- Are you all right?
- I'm fine.

Darling, I knew you'd come.
Won't you untie me?

How do I know you wouldn't run off
with a bipedal female?

I have a proposal
which will reassure you of my devotion.

Put down the gun.

Think of it, Q. We'd be visionaries,
innovators, the parents of peace.

- That does have a ring to it.
- Captain, what should I do with him?

We can end the war.
Call off your troops.

Do as she says and I'll call them off.

They may be humanoids,
but they're using our weapons.

Cease fire!

- Tell our people to stop shooting.
- Hold your fire!

Have you thought how we might
accomplish this act of procreation?

I've thought of nothing else since
you suggested it. As a matter of fact...

- I love it when you talk dirty.
- I'll give you some privacy.

Don't you like to watch?

- I was good, wasn't I?
- Very good.

That was it?

You had your chance.
Don't go crying about it now.

Lieutenant Paris, what's our position?

- We're back on our original course.
- All crew accounted for.

Ensign Kim, any sign of supernovas?

No, ma'am. Nothing but calm space
ahead. Looks like the war is over.

Mr Chakotay, run a series
of standard diagnostics.

If everything checks out,
take us to warp 6.

- Aye, Captain.
- I'll be in my ready room.

Yabba-dabba doo!

Q!

- He's got my cheekbones.
- He's adorable.

I'd say fatherhood agrees with you.

I'll admit, I look at the universe
in an entirely different way now.

I can't go around causing temporal
anomalies or subspace inversions

without considering
the impact on my son.

I'm glad to hear you intend
to set a good example.

Did I tell you how smart he is?

I've taught him how
to knock small planets out of orbit.

What about teaching
love and conscience?

Oh. That's why we want Auntie Kathy
to be the godmother, don't we?

- I'm honoured.
- Wait until we ask you to baby-sit.

Can't leave the little guy alone
for a nanosecond.

Well, it's time to be going.

The old ball and chain
really hates it when we're late.

Say bye-bye.

Bye-bye.