Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987–1994): Season 1, Episode 2 - The Naked Now - full transcript
The crew of the Enterprise is infected with a virus that causes them to behave as though they were intoxicated.
Captain's log, stardate 41209.2.
We are going to rendezvous with
a science vessel, SS Tsiolkovsky,
which has been monitoring the
collapse of a red supergiant star
into a white dwarf.
What has brought us here
is a series of strange messages
indicating something has gone wrong
aboard the research vessel.
SS Tsiolkovsky, repeat your message.
Hello, Enterprise. Welcome.
I hope you have
a lot of pretty boys there,
because I'm willing and waiting.
In fact, we're going to have
a real blow-out here.
Do it, yeah! Go ahead! Do it!
Captain, what we've just heard is...
impossible.
Report.
I believe that last sound was
an emergency hatch being blown.
Are you certain?
Yes, of course you are.
Data, Geordi, Tasha.
Searcher scans now reveal
no life signs aboard, Captain.
Cover the ship as planned. Move out.
Indications of what humans
would call... a wild party?
Yeah.
Their bridge.
If this works,
be sure to record everything.
You were right.
Somebody blew out the hatch.
They were all sucked out into space.
Correction, sir, that's blown out.
- Thank you, Data.
- A common mistake, sir.
Cmdr Riker, Lt Yar.
Location, Engineering.
Ten people here, sir, all frozen.
No vital signs.
Frozen? How?
It looks like someone was playing
with the environmental controls.
Just let all the heat
bleed away into space.
Sir, Lt La Forge
in the crew quarters.
Something in here.
Riker to Captain.
I have a report, sir.
Picard here.
They're all dead.
Some of them were blown out
of the emergency hatches.
But there were 80 people
on that ship.
Yes, sir.
As I said... all dead.
Space, the final frontier.
These are the voyages
of the Starship Enterprise.
Its continuing mission,
to explore strange new worlds...
...to seek out new life
and new civilizations...
...to boldly go
where no one has gone before.
Captain's log, supplemental.
We are downloading information
gathered on
the collapsing star nearby.
I'm concerned
at being in such close orbit.
But the Tsiolkovsky's research
records should predict
the time
of the star's final collapse.
I can't find anything unusual
in the readings they sent over.
Give me a theory, Doctor. Anything.
Madness? Mass hysteria? Delusion?
Any or all, Captain.
Alright,
let's bring the away team back.
Set the transporter
to maximum decontamination,
and then full examination
and observation when they're here.
If you were any more perfect,
I'd put you in a medical textbook.
I'm already listed
in several bio-mechanical texts.
Yes, of course.
You're next, Lieutenant.
Normal, all across.
Except,
why are you perspiring, Lieutenant?
Because you have it too hot
in here! What else would it be?
It doesn't sound like you, Geordi.
Well, maybe it's not.
Maybe she threw her voice.
Hey, it was a joke.
Of course, but I would like to run
a few more tests on you, Lieutenant.
- Sickbay to bridge.
- Picard here. Go ahead, Doctor.
I'm confining Lt La Forge
to sickbay until further notice.
- Do we have a problem, Doctor?
- I don't know yet.
I need help in locating
some library computer information.
Specifics, sir?
I have a vague memory
of reading somewhere
about someone taking a shower
in their clothing.
Ah, the body Geordi discovered.
- I believe it's happened before.
- To someone, somewhere.
This should be easy for someone
written up in bio-mechanical texts.
About that, sir, did the Doctor
believe I was boasting?
Probably.
- This may take some time.
- Several hours.
What I said was a statement of fact.
Perhaps she will look it up.
You can depend on it.
Geordi!
Security, Lt La Forge left sickbay
while I was in my office.
He doesn't have his communicator.
We must find him.
Security team, pick up Lt La Forge.
He just left sickbay.
Captain, anything further?
Affirmative. Make it
a ship-wide search, Lieutenant.
It's a model of the ship's
tractor beam, with my ideas added.
That's your science project?
Wes, you're really something.
Since the Captain
won't let me on the bridge,
I use this to imagine I'm there.
Take the helm, Mr. Crusher.
Set a course for 37, mark 180.
Warp six.
- It's the Captain's voice.
- It's words he used on the intercom.
I can pretend he's ordering me
to take the Enterprise anywhere.
Listen to this.
Chief Engineer, report to the bridge.
Cmdr Riker, report to the bridge.
Dr Crusher, report to the bridge.
What d'you think?
I think the Captain's lucky
you're on his side.
But he still won't
let me on the bridge.
There's nothing there
I don't understand.
I wish... I understood myself
that well.
Are you OK?
No, suddenly I...
I seem to be burning up inside.
It's so hot in here.
Geordi?
Geordi.
Lt Yar in the observation lounge.
Send a team now.
- Medical's worried about you.
- Help me.
Help me to not give in to
the wild things in my mind.
My job is security...
Tasha, please.
Alright.
Helping is more important.
Geordi, how can I help you?
Help me to see. Like you do.
But you already
see better than I can.
I see more.
But more isn't better.
Geordi, please!
I wanna see in shallow, dim,
beautiful, human ways.
We'll talk about it, Geordi.
Now, I'm gonna take you to sickbay.
- Alright?
- Yeah.
OK.
Good.
We got him to sickbay
so Dr Crusher could examine him.
He wasn't violent?
No, sir. He was very upset.
He kept talking about
wanting normal vision.
Thank you, Lieutenant.
Our read-outs still show
nothing wrong with him.
He looks to have a temperature,
but our instruments say not.
Doctor, every person
on that ship died.
Is there any chance that
whatever did it is loose on my ship?
If you mean a disease,
I'd say no chance.
We used full decontamination.
We examined every team member.
The entire crew somehow managed
to kill themselves, Doctor.
If not a disease,
what else made them do it?
Alternatives are in the areas of
insanity and severe emotional upset.
Troi, do you feel anything unusual
in the Lieutenant?
Security told me
that he was longing for normal sight.
That's a sudden yearning.
His records show
no previous mention of that.
The fact that it happened now
could be important.
But all I sense from him
is confusion.
If I didn't know better,
I'd say he was intoxicated.
Our tests would've shown that,
or any signs of drugs,
hallucinogens or contaminants.
Can you provide
more information, sir?
Seeking an instance of someone
showering in clothing is...
It's like looking
for a needle in a haystack.
Why should anyone expend time
in such a search?
I should've said
proverbial needle in a haystack.
Ah! A human proverb.
As in folklore.
- Or an historical allusion.
- Historical. That's it.
I was reading about all the past
starships named Enterprise.
Enterprise history.
Aberrant behavior.
Medical cross-reference.
Captain, I think we have the answer
to what happened.
"The Starship Enterprise.
Capt James T. Kirk commanding."
Similar conditions.
They were monitoring a planet
that was breaking up.
Not a collapsing star,
as in this case.
But there were the same
huge shifts in gravity.
Which resulted in complex strings
of water molecules
which acquired carbon
from the body and acted...
...acted on the brain like alcohol.
Data, download this information
to Medical.
Downloading.
Fascinating.
The entire crew going out of control.
Like intoxication, but worse.
Judgment almost completely impaired.
Until they found this formula,
barely in time.
Picard to Dr Crusher. Come in.
- This is Crusher. Go ahead.
- You can relax.
The answer is feeding
into your medical banks right now.
Including a cure.
Are you certain, Captain?
Absolutely.
Tasha?
What are you doing?
I need your advice.
That's why I came to your quarters.
Of course, anything...
On clothes. You always wear
such beautiful clothes off duty.
And your hair always looks so nice.
I wanna change my image.
What do you think about this?
Or... or this one?
It's not for you.
Tasha, I feel you're very uncertain.
That you're fighting something.
What is it?
Never mind.
I'll find what I need myself.
Ship's stores will have it.
Tasha? Wait!
- Troi to Capt Picard.
- Picard, here.
Sir, I think Tasha's
been infected, too.
- She just left my quarters.
- It's not actually an infection.
Yes, sir.
It's more like an intoxication.
But, whatever it is... she's got it.
Thank you, Counselor.
Number One,
it seems our Security Chief
has the equivalent of a snootful.
Inquiry, sir. Snootful?
Forget it.
Hey, Mom, look what I can do.
I've widened and strengthened
the beam, like I said last night.
Do me a favor.
Something's happening on this ship.
Just to be safe, stay in
our quarters until it's solved.
Sure, Mom. Your wish is my command.
Now, Wes!
OK. But you could be stunting my
emotional growth, you realize that?
Why is it so hot in here?
Picard to Crusher.
Crusher here.
Have you made a test injection yet?
We have indications
that this condition is spreading.
No test yet, Captain. But very soon.
In 41 minutes, the information from
the Tsiolkovsky will be downloaded.
Why so slow?
Slow, sir? The Tsiolkovsky has been
eight months in accumulating it.
How much danger from that star?
Worst case.
Like a full collapse, sir?
Any material it threw this way,
we could outrun
on half impulse power.
Picard to Engineering.
Chief Engineer, report to the bridge.
Assistant Chief Engineer Shimoda,
report to Medical.
Hi, Jim. Was that the Captain
ordering you to Medical?
Which would leave no one on duty.
The chief was summoned to the bridge.
What about me?
I could call the chief on the bridge
if anything happened.
- Reporting as ordered, sir.
- What?
You ordered me
to report to the bridge, sir.
I did no such thing.
I want you in the engine room
in case we need to move out.
Attention, all divisions.
Effective immediately,
I have handed over control
to Acting Captain Wesley Crusher.
Acting Captain?
Thank you, Capt Picard.
And so dawns
a brave new day for the Enterprise.
Captain's log, stardate 41209.3.
The contaminant that led to
the deaths of the Tsiolkovsky crew
is now aboard the Enterprise.
Our Engineering section
has been commandeered
by young Wesley Crusher.
And henceforth, a dessert course
shall precede and follow every meal,
including breakfast.
Hurray for the Acting Captain.
Never got as far as sickbay, Wes.
I feel too good for that.
Incredible. How did you do that?
Hooked my model tractor beam
into the ship's power.
Now, it's a repulser beam, too.
Want in?
Swear to be faithful to you,
Captain.
Number One, MacDougal,
get that boy out of Engineering.
Sir, I'm getting
very strange reports from all decks.
Such as?
Such as the Training Division
giving a lecture on metaphysics.
- Metaphysics?
- Confirmed, sir.
A rather peculiar limerick was being
delivered in the shuttle-craft bay.
I'm not sure I understand it.
"There was a young lady from Venus
Whose body was shaped like a..."
Captain to Security, come in!
- Did I say something wrong?
- I don't understand their humor.
- Yeah, Captain?
- Get me Lt Yar!
- Keep your britches on!
- Capt Picard.
Lieutenant, where are you?
I'm in my quarters.
I'm pretty busy right at the moment,
Jean-Luc.
Alright, Lieutenant,
you just stay right there.
Data, take Lt Yar down to sickbay.
- Aye, sir.
- Captain to Security.
I want all your senior supervisors
to report to the bridge immediately.
Lt Yar?
Here, Data.
You wanted me?
Capt Picard ordered me to escort
you to sickbay, Lieutenant.
Did he say when?
I'm sure he meant now.
So, you should get into uniform.
But I got out of my uniform
for you, Data.
Do you know how old I was
when I was abandoned?
Chronological age?
No.
I'm afraid I am not familiar with...
Five.
Five years old. But I survived.
I learned how to stay alive.
How to avoid the rape gangs.
I was 15 before I escaped.
I am sorry. I did not know.
And what I want now is gentleness.
And joy.
And love.
From you, Data.
You are fully functional?
- Of course, but...
- How fully?
In every way, of course.
I am programmed
in multiple techniques.
A broad variety of pleasuring.
Oh, you jewel!
That's exactly what I hoped.
What have you learned?
The engines
are cut off from the bridge.
An engineer pulled out the isolinear
optical chips from command.
All the engines are off line.
Wesley has hooked up
some kind of tractor beam
to the ship's power,
aimed at the door.
We can't get past
to get to the computer.
Can you short out the power?
Yes, I can. But it's gonna take time.
Do it.
Bill?
Deanna, what?
So many minds on this ship, all free.
Released.
Deanna.
I can feel them all.
What they want, what they feel.
It's a side of humans
I never felt before.
Come on.
I'm getting you to sickbay.
Wouldn't you rather be alone
with me? With me in your mind?
The medical records we found
say this works almost instantly.
It's not fair, Doc.
I've never seen a rainbow,
sunset, sunrise.
This is gonna help me?
Help me see like you?
Dr Crusher?
- Deanna needs your help.
- The formula didn't work.
It may induce the same symptoms,
but somehow, it's different.
Maybe it's mutated.
I have to isolate it to analyze it.
- We don't have time.
- You brought Deanna in.
Then you touched her!
Oh, God! And you touched me.
I've got to quarantine you.
If I don't get the computer on line,
none of this will matter.
We'll all be dead.
Captain's log, supplemental.
It is no longer an inconvenient,
childish prank.
Young Wesley Crusher,
admittedly a victim
of the Tsiolkovsky infection,
is now in control of my starship.
Wesley, this is Capt Picard.
Do you see me?
Yes, sir.
You will return control
of this vessel to the bridge
where it belongs at once.
I'm sorry, sir. Tell me
what you want done and I'll do it!
Ship captains
control their own vessels, young man.
But, sir, you don't do it yourself.
You give the orders
but somebody else does it.
What's wrong
with giving me the orders?
Captain, getting unusual readings
now from the dwarf star.
Stand by on that for a moment.
Wesley.
Wes.
Are you aware
that you are behaving strangely,
that a kind of infection was
brought over from the Tsiolkovsky,
which acts like... intoxication?
Are you saying that's why
I feel so hot? So strange?
That's...
That's a very adult
bit of reasoning, Wesley.
So, you mean I'm drunk!
I feel strange, but also good.
Because... you have lost the capacity
for self-judgment.
Now, alcohol does this, Wesley.
The contaminant from the Tsiolkovsky
does it even more so.
What would you do
if you got your ship back?
Oh, it's very important I do, Wesley.
I must lock a tractor beam on to
the Tsiolkovsky and tow it...
Tractor beams are my specialty.
I'll get that done. Wesley out.
Wesley!
Where are you headed?
Sir, the star.
It's beginning to collapse.
What the hell is happening
in Engineering?
Lock on.
Lock on Tsiolkovsky.
- Where's that sonic driver?
- It's over there.
OK, let's see if this cuts out
his tractor beam power.
Oh, come on.
No!
I must find the answer.
I've got to find the answer.
Captain, tractor beam. We just
locked on to the Tsiolkovsky.
Captain to...
Wesley! Wesley Crusher, come in.
Good, Data.
- At least you're functioning.
- Fully, Captain.
Data, intoxication is a human
condition. Your brain is different.
It's not the same as...
We're more alike than unlike,
my dear Captain.
I have pores. Humans have pores.
I have... fingerprints.
Humans have fingerprints.
My chemical nutrients
are like your blood.
If you prick me,
do I not... leak?
Doctor...
Captain, can I see you
in your room? It's private.
- No, actually, it's urgent.
- But...
Damn it!
- Now, Doctor...
- I have become infected myself.
Do you know what the infection is?
Come on, quickly.
Sorry. It is definitely
like alcohol intoxication.
The same lack of good judgment.
For example, right now,
I find you extremely...
Extremely...
We haven't time
for that sort of thing.
- What sort of thing?
- God, would I love to show you!
Doctor, there must be a cure.
Some formula...
...similar to the old one.
Damn it, Captain!
My dear Captain.
You owe me something.
You do realize that, don't you?
I'm a woman. I haven't had
the comfort of a husband, a man.
Not now, Doctor. Please!
Bridge to Riker. Urgent.
- Riker here.
- Sir.
Regret to inform you
that the Captain
appears to be infected, and Data.
Thank you, Lieutenant, I'm on my
way. You'll have to handle this.
Are you saying
you're gonna handle that?
What we're seeing is a huge chunk
of the star surface blown away,
heading for us.
Take us...
Are you alright, sir?
Worf, you do know what to do.
Take us, er...
- Take us out of here.
- Right.
- Controls are still off line, sir.
- Override.
Same result, sir.
Wes, come in, please.
Wesley Crusher, this is Riker.
This is urgent. Come in, please.
Engineering, urgent.
We must have ship's power.
These are control chips.
- Bridge from Engineering.
- The star is collapsing.
- We're in the path...
- I can't help you.
Someone yanked out the control chips.
It was an adult who did it.
I estimate 14 minutes
until that mass gets here.
No, sir, I cannot replace the chips
in 14 minutes. Two hours, maybe.
Data could assemble them faster.
What's that?
What's that, Wesley?
They're simple isolinear chips
to Data.
He can shuffle them like cards.
Come on, Data, hurry.
Ship's log, First Officer Riker.
Enterprise will be destroyed
unless it is moved out of the path
of the star material.
Our only hope is for Lt Cmdr Data,
in the time we have left,
to reconnect engine power
to the bridge.
- Nice to see you, Wesley.
- Hi, Mr. Data.
Get the damn control chips back in
place, in the correct order. Now!
It's like a game.
How fast can you do it?
A game.
I think I can switch this
to main viewer, sir.
Data, we've eight or nine minutes.
Can you finish by then?
No, this will take slightly
more time than we have, sir.
Damn it, no.
I can't afford to get this.
Beverly.
Yes, Jean-Luc?
You will address me as Captain.
Captain?
Well then, my dear Captain,
you will address me
as Chief Medical Officer, or Doctor.
I will? That's true.
I started out by calling you Beverly.
Of course, naturally, you...
I'm still not thinking straight.
Likewise.
Where the hell was I headed?
If that's something
you were going to test...
Yes, on Geordi. Come here.
See how I reversed the fields
on this?
I made it into a repulser beam.
If we just had one minute more, sir.
If this were a hundred times
more powerful than it is...
Why not try it with the real thing?
Why not reverse fields?
We need an extra minute.
It would take weeks
of laying out new circuits.
Why not just see it in your head?
Come off the main lead,
split off at the force activator.
Then...
If I could just think straight
about this.
I made this a broader-based remedy.
I hope.
It's still very close to the formula
from the old Enterprise records.
Decades ago. Light years away.
But almost exactly
the same conditions as here.
Wow! What was in that, Doctor?
My head is beginning to clear.
Come here.
Take this to Engineering.
I'll make up hypos for the others.
OK, Bev.
We're not gonna make it, Captain.
If we only had a minute or so more.
Then reverse in power leads,
back through the force activator.
Repulser beam hard against
Tsiolkovsky.
Don't you see?
It's giving us a push-off.
The extra time we need.
We're pushing away.
Bridge, engage engines.
Captain, something seemed
to move us aside at the last minute.
Do we owe our thanks
to Cmdr Data, sir?
Yes, and Wesley may have
given us a few seconds, too.
Did he say Wesley? The boy?
He said Wesley.
It's only fair to mention Wesley
in the log entry, sir.
Fair's fair.
Let's credit
his science teacher, too.
- Congratulations, sir.
- To many people.
Data, I'm only going to tell you
this just once.
It never happened.
I put it to you all,
I think we shall end up
with a fine crew...
...if we avoid temptation.
So, Number One,
let's go to our next job.
Aye, sir.
Prepare for warp three.
Headed 294, mark 37.
Warp three, heading 294,
mark 37, sir.
Engage.
We are going to rendezvous with
a science vessel, SS Tsiolkovsky,
which has been monitoring the
collapse of a red supergiant star
into a white dwarf.
What has brought us here
is a series of strange messages
indicating something has gone wrong
aboard the research vessel.
SS Tsiolkovsky, repeat your message.
Hello, Enterprise. Welcome.
I hope you have
a lot of pretty boys there,
because I'm willing and waiting.
In fact, we're going to have
a real blow-out here.
Do it, yeah! Go ahead! Do it!
Captain, what we've just heard is...
impossible.
Report.
I believe that last sound was
an emergency hatch being blown.
Are you certain?
Yes, of course you are.
Data, Geordi, Tasha.
Searcher scans now reveal
no life signs aboard, Captain.
Cover the ship as planned. Move out.
Indications of what humans
would call... a wild party?
Yeah.
Their bridge.
If this works,
be sure to record everything.
You were right.
Somebody blew out the hatch.
They were all sucked out into space.
Correction, sir, that's blown out.
- Thank you, Data.
- A common mistake, sir.
Cmdr Riker, Lt Yar.
Location, Engineering.
Ten people here, sir, all frozen.
No vital signs.
Frozen? How?
It looks like someone was playing
with the environmental controls.
Just let all the heat
bleed away into space.
Sir, Lt La Forge
in the crew quarters.
Something in here.
Riker to Captain.
I have a report, sir.
Picard here.
They're all dead.
Some of them were blown out
of the emergency hatches.
But there were 80 people
on that ship.
Yes, sir.
As I said... all dead.
Space, the final frontier.
These are the voyages
of the Starship Enterprise.
Its continuing mission,
to explore strange new worlds...
...to seek out new life
and new civilizations...
...to boldly go
where no one has gone before.
Captain's log, supplemental.
We are downloading information
gathered on
the collapsing star nearby.
I'm concerned
at being in such close orbit.
But the Tsiolkovsky's research
records should predict
the time
of the star's final collapse.
I can't find anything unusual
in the readings they sent over.
Give me a theory, Doctor. Anything.
Madness? Mass hysteria? Delusion?
Any or all, Captain.
Alright,
let's bring the away team back.
Set the transporter
to maximum decontamination,
and then full examination
and observation when they're here.
If you were any more perfect,
I'd put you in a medical textbook.
I'm already listed
in several bio-mechanical texts.
Yes, of course.
You're next, Lieutenant.
Normal, all across.
Except,
why are you perspiring, Lieutenant?
Because you have it too hot
in here! What else would it be?
It doesn't sound like you, Geordi.
Well, maybe it's not.
Maybe she threw her voice.
Hey, it was a joke.
Of course, but I would like to run
a few more tests on you, Lieutenant.
- Sickbay to bridge.
- Picard here. Go ahead, Doctor.
I'm confining Lt La Forge
to sickbay until further notice.
- Do we have a problem, Doctor?
- I don't know yet.
I need help in locating
some library computer information.
Specifics, sir?
I have a vague memory
of reading somewhere
about someone taking a shower
in their clothing.
Ah, the body Geordi discovered.
- I believe it's happened before.
- To someone, somewhere.
This should be easy for someone
written up in bio-mechanical texts.
About that, sir, did the Doctor
believe I was boasting?
Probably.
- This may take some time.
- Several hours.
What I said was a statement of fact.
Perhaps she will look it up.
You can depend on it.
Geordi!
Security, Lt La Forge left sickbay
while I was in my office.
He doesn't have his communicator.
We must find him.
Security team, pick up Lt La Forge.
He just left sickbay.
Captain, anything further?
Affirmative. Make it
a ship-wide search, Lieutenant.
It's a model of the ship's
tractor beam, with my ideas added.
That's your science project?
Wes, you're really something.
Since the Captain
won't let me on the bridge,
I use this to imagine I'm there.
Take the helm, Mr. Crusher.
Set a course for 37, mark 180.
Warp six.
- It's the Captain's voice.
- It's words he used on the intercom.
I can pretend he's ordering me
to take the Enterprise anywhere.
Listen to this.
Chief Engineer, report to the bridge.
Cmdr Riker, report to the bridge.
Dr Crusher, report to the bridge.
What d'you think?
I think the Captain's lucky
you're on his side.
But he still won't
let me on the bridge.
There's nothing there
I don't understand.
I wish... I understood myself
that well.
Are you OK?
No, suddenly I...
I seem to be burning up inside.
It's so hot in here.
Geordi?
Geordi.
Lt Yar in the observation lounge.
Send a team now.
- Medical's worried about you.
- Help me.
Help me to not give in to
the wild things in my mind.
My job is security...
Tasha, please.
Alright.
Helping is more important.
Geordi, how can I help you?
Help me to see. Like you do.
But you already
see better than I can.
I see more.
But more isn't better.
Geordi, please!
I wanna see in shallow, dim,
beautiful, human ways.
We'll talk about it, Geordi.
Now, I'm gonna take you to sickbay.
- Alright?
- Yeah.
OK.
Good.
We got him to sickbay
so Dr Crusher could examine him.
He wasn't violent?
No, sir. He was very upset.
He kept talking about
wanting normal vision.
Thank you, Lieutenant.
Our read-outs still show
nothing wrong with him.
He looks to have a temperature,
but our instruments say not.
Doctor, every person
on that ship died.
Is there any chance that
whatever did it is loose on my ship?
If you mean a disease,
I'd say no chance.
We used full decontamination.
We examined every team member.
The entire crew somehow managed
to kill themselves, Doctor.
If not a disease,
what else made them do it?
Alternatives are in the areas of
insanity and severe emotional upset.
Troi, do you feel anything unusual
in the Lieutenant?
Security told me
that he was longing for normal sight.
That's a sudden yearning.
His records show
no previous mention of that.
The fact that it happened now
could be important.
But all I sense from him
is confusion.
If I didn't know better,
I'd say he was intoxicated.
Our tests would've shown that,
or any signs of drugs,
hallucinogens or contaminants.
Can you provide
more information, sir?
Seeking an instance of someone
showering in clothing is...
It's like looking
for a needle in a haystack.
Why should anyone expend time
in such a search?
I should've said
proverbial needle in a haystack.
Ah! A human proverb.
As in folklore.
- Or an historical allusion.
- Historical. That's it.
I was reading about all the past
starships named Enterprise.
Enterprise history.
Aberrant behavior.
Medical cross-reference.
Captain, I think we have the answer
to what happened.
"The Starship Enterprise.
Capt James T. Kirk commanding."
Similar conditions.
They were monitoring a planet
that was breaking up.
Not a collapsing star,
as in this case.
But there were the same
huge shifts in gravity.
Which resulted in complex strings
of water molecules
which acquired carbon
from the body and acted...
...acted on the brain like alcohol.
Data, download this information
to Medical.
Downloading.
Fascinating.
The entire crew going out of control.
Like intoxication, but worse.
Judgment almost completely impaired.
Until they found this formula,
barely in time.
Picard to Dr Crusher. Come in.
- This is Crusher. Go ahead.
- You can relax.
The answer is feeding
into your medical banks right now.
Including a cure.
Are you certain, Captain?
Absolutely.
Tasha?
What are you doing?
I need your advice.
That's why I came to your quarters.
Of course, anything...
On clothes. You always wear
such beautiful clothes off duty.
And your hair always looks so nice.
I wanna change my image.
What do you think about this?
Or... or this one?
It's not for you.
Tasha, I feel you're very uncertain.
That you're fighting something.
What is it?
Never mind.
I'll find what I need myself.
Ship's stores will have it.
Tasha? Wait!
- Troi to Capt Picard.
- Picard, here.
Sir, I think Tasha's
been infected, too.
- She just left my quarters.
- It's not actually an infection.
Yes, sir.
It's more like an intoxication.
But, whatever it is... she's got it.
Thank you, Counselor.
Number One,
it seems our Security Chief
has the equivalent of a snootful.
Inquiry, sir. Snootful?
Forget it.
Hey, Mom, look what I can do.
I've widened and strengthened
the beam, like I said last night.
Do me a favor.
Something's happening on this ship.
Just to be safe, stay in
our quarters until it's solved.
Sure, Mom. Your wish is my command.
Now, Wes!
OK. But you could be stunting my
emotional growth, you realize that?
Why is it so hot in here?
Picard to Crusher.
Crusher here.
Have you made a test injection yet?
We have indications
that this condition is spreading.
No test yet, Captain. But very soon.
In 41 minutes, the information from
the Tsiolkovsky will be downloaded.
Why so slow?
Slow, sir? The Tsiolkovsky has been
eight months in accumulating it.
How much danger from that star?
Worst case.
Like a full collapse, sir?
Any material it threw this way,
we could outrun
on half impulse power.
Picard to Engineering.
Chief Engineer, report to the bridge.
Assistant Chief Engineer Shimoda,
report to Medical.
Hi, Jim. Was that the Captain
ordering you to Medical?
Which would leave no one on duty.
The chief was summoned to the bridge.
What about me?
I could call the chief on the bridge
if anything happened.
- Reporting as ordered, sir.
- What?
You ordered me
to report to the bridge, sir.
I did no such thing.
I want you in the engine room
in case we need to move out.
Attention, all divisions.
Effective immediately,
I have handed over control
to Acting Captain Wesley Crusher.
Acting Captain?
Thank you, Capt Picard.
And so dawns
a brave new day for the Enterprise.
Captain's log, stardate 41209.3.
The contaminant that led to
the deaths of the Tsiolkovsky crew
is now aboard the Enterprise.
Our Engineering section
has been commandeered
by young Wesley Crusher.
And henceforth, a dessert course
shall precede and follow every meal,
including breakfast.
Hurray for the Acting Captain.
Never got as far as sickbay, Wes.
I feel too good for that.
Incredible. How did you do that?
Hooked my model tractor beam
into the ship's power.
Now, it's a repulser beam, too.
Want in?
Swear to be faithful to you,
Captain.
Number One, MacDougal,
get that boy out of Engineering.
Sir, I'm getting
very strange reports from all decks.
Such as?
Such as the Training Division
giving a lecture on metaphysics.
- Metaphysics?
- Confirmed, sir.
A rather peculiar limerick was being
delivered in the shuttle-craft bay.
I'm not sure I understand it.
"There was a young lady from Venus
Whose body was shaped like a..."
Captain to Security, come in!
- Did I say something wrong?
- I don't understand their humor.
- Yeah, Captain?
- Get me Lt Yar!
- Keep your britches on!
- Capt Picard.
Lieutenant, where are you?
I'm in my quarters.
I'm pretty busy right at the moment,
Jean-Luc.
Alright, Lieutenant,
you just stay right there.
Data, take Lt Yar down to sickbay.
- Aye, sir.
- Captain to Security.
I want all your senior supervisors
to report to the bridge immediately.
Lt Yar?
Here, Data.
You wanted me?
Capt Picard ordered me to escort
you to sickbay, Lieutenant.
Did he say when?
I'm sure he meant now.
So, you should get into uniform.
But I got out of my uniform
for you, Data.
Do you know how old I was
when I was abandoned?
Chronological age?
No.
I'm afraid I am not familiar with...
Five.
Five years old. But I survived.
I learned how to stay alive.
How to avoid the rape gangs.
I was 15 before I escaped.
I am sorry. I did not know.
And what I want now is gentleness.
And joy.
And love.
From you, Data.
You are fully functional?
- Of course, but...
- How fully?
In every way, of course.
I am programmed
in multiple techniques.
A broad variety of pleasuring.
Oh, you jewel!
That's exactly what I hoped.
What have you learned?
The engines
are cut off from the bridge.
An engineer pulled out the isolinear
optical chips from command.
All the engines are off line.
Wesley has hooked up
some kind of tractor beam
to the ship's power,
aimed at the door.
We can't get past
to get to the computer.
Can you short out the power?
Yes, I can. But it's gonna take time.
Do it.
Bill?
Deanna, what?
So many minds on this ship, all free.
Released.
Deanna.
I can feel them all.
What they want, what they feel.
It's a side of humans
I never felt before.
Come on.
I'm getting you to sickbay.
Wouldn't you rather be alone
with me? With me in your mind?
The medical records we found
say this works almost instantly.
It's not fair, Doc.
I've never seen a rainbow,
sunset, sunrise.
This is gonna help me?
Help me see like you?
Dr Crusher?
- Deanna needs your help.
- The formula didn't work.
It may induce the same symptoms,
but somehow, it's different.
Maybe it's mutated.
I have to isolate it to analyze it.
- We don't have time.
- You brought Deanna in.
Then you touched her!
Oh, God! And you touched me.
I've got to quarantine you.
If I don't get the computer on line,
none of this will matter.
We'll all be dead.
Captain's log, supplemental.
It is no longer an inconvenient,
childish prank.
Young Wesley Crusher,
admittedly a victim
of the Tsiolkovsky infection,
is now in control of my starship.
Wesley, this is Capt Picard.
Do you see me?
Yes, sir.
You will return control
of this vessel to the bridge
where it belongs at once.
I'm sorry, sir. Tell me
what you want done and I'll do it!
Ship captains
control their own vessels, young man.
But, sir, you don't do it yourself.
You give the orders
but somebody else does it.
What's wrong
with giving me the orders?
Captain, getting unusual readings
now from the dwarf star.
Stand by on that for a moment.
Wesley.
Wes.
Are you aware
that you are behaving strangely,
that a kind of infection was
brought over from the Tsiolkovsky,
which acts like... intoxication?
Are you saying that's why
I feel so hot? So strange?
That's...
That's a very adult
bit of reasoning, Wesley.
So, you mean I'm drunk!
I feel strange, but also good.
Because... you have lost the capacity
for self-judgment.
Now, alcohol does this, Wesley.
The contaminant from the Tsiolkovsky
does it even more so.
What would you do
if you got your ship back?
Oh, it's very important I do, Wesley.
I must lock a tractor beam on to
the Tsiolkovsky and tow it...
Tractor beams are my specialty.
I'll get that done. Wesley out.
Wesley!
Where are you headed?
Sir, the star.
It's beginning to collapse.
What the hell is happening
in Engineering?
Lock on.
Lock on Tsiolkovsky.
- Where's that sonic driver?
- It's over there.
OK, let's see if this cuts out
his tractor beam power.
Oh, come on.
No!
I must find the answer.
I've got to find the answer.
Captain, tractor beam. We just
locked on to the Tsiolkovsky.
Captain to...
Wesley! Wesley Crusher, come in.
Good, Data.
- At least you're functioning.
- Fully, Captain.
Data, intoxication is a human
condition. Your brain is different.
It's not the same as...
We're more alike than unlike,
my dear Captain.
I have pores. Humans have pores.
I have... fingerprints.
Humans have fingerprints.
My chemical nutrients
are like your blood.
If you prick me,
do I not... leak?
Doctor...
Captain, can I see you
in your room? It's private.
- No, actually, it's urgent.
- But...
Damn it!
- Now, Doctor...
- I have become infected myself.
Do you know what the infection is?
Come on, quickly.
Sorry. It is definitely
like alcohol intoxication.
The same lack of good judgment.
For example, right now,
I find you extremely...
Extremely...
We haven't time
for that sort of thing.
- What sort of thing?
- God, would I love to show you!
Doctor, there must be a cure.
Some formula...
...similar to the old one.
Damn it, Captain!
My dear Captain.
You owe me something.
You do realize that, don't you?
I'm a woman. I haven't had
the comfort of a husband, a man.
Not now, Doctor. Please!
Bridge to Riker. Urgent.
- Riker here.
- Sir.
Regret to inform you
that the Captain
appears to be infected, and Data.
Thank you, Lieutenant, I'm on my
way. You'll have to handle this.
Are you saying
you're gonna handle that?
What we're seeing is a huge chunk
of the star surface blown away,
heading for us.
Take us...
Are you alright, sir?
Worf, you do know what to do.
Take us, er...
- Take us out of here.
- Right.
- Controls are still off line, sir.
- Override.
Same result, sir.
Wes, come in, please.
Wesley Crusher, this is Riker.
This is urgent. Come in, please.
Engineering, urgent.
We must have ship's power.
These are control chips.
- Bridge from Engineering.
- The star is collapsing.
- We're in the path...
- I can't help you.
Someone yanked out the control chips.
It was an adult who did it.
I estimate 14 minutes
until that mass gets here.
No, sir, I cannot replace the chips
in 14 minutes. Two hours, maybe.
Data could assemble them faster.
What's that?
What's that, Wesley?
They're simple isolinear chips
to Data.
He can shuffle them like cards.
Come on, Data, hurry.
Ship's log, First Officer Riker.
Enterprise will be destroyed
unless it is moved out of the path
of the star material.
Our only hope is for Lt Cmdr Data,
in the time we have left,
to reconnect engine power
to the bridge.
- Nice to see you, Wesley.
- Hi, Mr. Data.
Get the damn control chips back in
place, in the correct order. Now!
It's like a game.
How fast can you do it?
A game.
I think I can switch this
to main viewer, sir.
Data, we've eight or nine minutes.
Can you finish by then?
No, this will take slightly
more time than we have, sir.
Damn it, no.
I can't afford to get this.
Beverly.
Yes, Jean-Luc?
You will address me as Captain.
Captain?
Well then, my dear Captain,
you will address me
as Chief Medical Officer, or Doctor.
I will? That's true.
I started out by calling you Beverly.
Of course, naturally, you...
I'm still not thinking straight.
Likewise.
Where the hell was I headed?
If that's something
you were going to test...
Yes, on Geordi. Come here.
See how I reversed the fields
on this?
I made it into a repulser beam.
If we just had one minute more, sir.
If this were a hundred times
more powerful than it is...
Why not try it with the real thing?
Why not reverse fields?
We need an extra minute.
It would take weeks
of laying out new circuits.
Why not just see it in your head?
Come off the main lead,
split off at the force activator.
Then...
If I could just think straight
about this.
I made this a broader-based remedy.
I hope.
It's still very close to the formula
from the old Enterprise records.
Decades ago. Light years away.
But almost exactly
the same conditions as here.
Wow! What was in that, Doctor?
My head is beginning to clear.
Come here.
Take this to Engineering.
I'll make up hypos for the others.
OK, Bev.
We're not gonna make it, Captain.
If we only had a minute or so more.
Then reverse in power leads,
back through the force activator.
Repulser beam hard against
Tsiolkovsky.
Don't you see?
It's giving us a push-off.
The extra time we need.
We're pushing away.
Bridge, engage engines.
Captain, something seemed
to move us aside at the last minute.
Do we owe our thanks
to Cmdr Data, sir?
Yes, and Wesley may have
given us a few seconds, too.
Did he say Wesley? The boy?
He said Wesley.
It's only fair to mention Wesley
in the log entry, sir.
Fair's fair.
Let's credit
his science teacher, too.
- Congratulations, sir.
- To many people.
Data, I'm only going to tell you
this just once.
It never happened.
I put it to you all,
I think we shall end up
with a fine crew...
...if we avoid temptation.
So, Number One,
let's go to our next job.
Aye, sir.
Prepare for warp three.
Headed 294, mark 37.
Warp three, heading 294,
mark 37, sir.
Engage.