Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993–1999): Season 5, Episode 6 - Trials and Tribble-ations - full transcript

Welcome to Deep Space 9.

I'm Major Kira.

I'm Dulmer.

Lucsly. Department
of Temporal Investigations.

We've been expecting you.

I guess you boys

from Temporal Investigations
are always on time.

Where's Captain Sisko?

Are you sure
you don't want anything?

Just the truth, Captain.

You'll get it.



Where do you want to start?

The beginning.

If there is such a thing.

Captain, why'd you take
the Defiant back in time?

It was an accident.

So you're not contending

it was
a predestination paradox?

A time loop... that you were
meant to go back into the past.

Uh, no.

Good.

We hate those.

So... what happened?

This may take some time.

Is that a joke?



No.

Good.

We hate those, too.

All right, Captain,
whenever you're ready.

Two weeks ago

the Cardassian government
contacted me

and wanted to return an Orb

to the Bajorans.

Orb?

They're devices
of an alien origin

that are considered
sacred objects

by the Bajoran people.

Each has a unique property

like the Orb of Prophecy
or the Orb of Wisdom.

The one we received
from the Cardassians

was the Orb of Time, although
we didn't know that at first.

But when the Defiant arrived
at Cardassia Prime

we weren't sure if we were
dealing with a genuine Orb

or one of the fakes that
have cropped up over the years.

I had it secured
in one of the crew quarters

so we could bring it back
to Bajor for authentication

but before we left Cardassia

we took on a passenger.

Humans!

I never thought I'd see
another normal face again.

This is Mr. Waddle.

Yeah, Barry.
Call me Barry.

We are taking him back
to the Federation.

He was trapped on Cardassia
when the Klingons attacked.

I'm a merchant.

I deal in gemstones,
kevas and trillium mostly.

May I?

Help yourself.

You know what Cardassians
drink in the morning?

Fish juice... hot fish juice.

Raktajino.

After six months

I was hoping the Klingons
would invade.

Ah, at least they know
how to make coffee

even if they are
foul-smelling barbarians.

S-S-Sorry.

I wouldn't take it personally,
Worf.

I rather like the way you smell.

Yeah, a sort of earthy,
peaty aroma.

With a touch of lilac.

With the Defiant under cloak,
we left Cardassian space

and managed to avoid
being detected by the Klingons.

We were halfway home

and I was just starting
to breathe easy.

Trust me.

Next time you see him,
just sniff the air

and go, "Is that lilac?"

No! Find somebody else.

I have my own ways
of torturing Worf.

Don't look at me.

I'm picking up a massive surge
in chroniton radiation around...

What happened?

I don't know,
but we've dropped out of warp.

Sensors are coming back on line.

Benjamin,
something's very wrong.

According
to the navigational computer

we're over 200 light-years

from our last position.

We're de-cloaking.

Someone's activated
the transporter.

Deactivate it
and get us back under cloak.

I'm picking up another ship
dead ahead.

Can you identify it?

Not yet, but it's close

very close.

Chief, I need that viewscreen.

I think I've got it.

That's...

The Enterprise.

Be specific, Captain.
Which Enterprise?

There have been five.

Six.

This was the first Enterprise,
Constitution-class.

His ship.

James T. Kirk.

The one and only.

17 separate
temporal violations...

the biggest file on record.

Man was a menace.

What was the date
of your arrival?

Stardate 4523.7.

105 years, one month,
12 days ago.

A Friday.

What was the Enterprise doing?

She was orbiting one of the old
deep space stations... K-7

near the Klingon border.

Security reported

that just before
we were thrown back in time

someone stunned the Deputy
who was guarding the Orb

and broke into the cabin.

It didn't take us long
to realize who it was.

His real name is Arne Darvin...

he's a Klingon altered
to look human.

His surgeon does nice work.

We're assuming
that he came aboard the Defiant

for the express purpose
of gaining access to the Orb.

Any idea why he brought us
back to this point in time?

We have a theory.

This is Darvin as he appeared
during that time period.

At this moment,
he is aboard Space Station K-7

posing as a Federation official.

So you're saying he's a spy.

The younger Darvin's mission

was to derail
Federation colonization efforts

by poisoning a shipment of grain

which was... which is stored
aboard the station.

However, 18 hours from now

James Kirk will expose him,
and he will be arrested.

That arrest will end his career.

Klingon Intelligence
will turn their back on him

and he will become an outcast.

From what we've been able
to piece together

he spent the next hundred years

eking out a meager living
posing as a human merchant.

Then, in a final indignity

he was trapped
in Cardassian space

by the Klingon invasion.

Ah.

Until he heard rumors
about an Orb

capable of taking him
back in time.

So, what is he planning to do?

Contact his younger self
and warn himself about Kirk?

He could be planning
to kill Kirk.

The bottom line is

we have to find Darvin
and stop him

before he has a chance
to alter history.

Do we know where he beamed to?

No. He wiped the transporter
logs when he beamed out.

So, he could be on
the Enterprise or the station.

We'll have to search both
without raising suspicion

or altering
the timeline ourselves.

The last thing I want

is a visit from Temporal
Investigations when we get home.

I suppose we ought
to find a way to blend in.

Captain.

Well... Lieutenant, actually.

I didn't want to push my luck.

Looks good on you, sir.

Thank you, Ensign.

Wait a minute.

Aren't you two
wearing the wrong color?

Don't you know anything
about this period in time?

I'm a doctor,
not an historian.

In the old days,
Operations officers wore red.

Command officers wore gold.

And women wore less.

I think I'm going
to like history.

The original Enterprise
used an old-style

duotronic sensor array.

If we wait for just
the right point

in the scan cycle,
we can de-cloak the Defiant

for almost three seconds
without being detected.

Is that enough time
to transport us aboard?

Barely.

Chief, here are the coordinates.

The Captain and I
will start on Deck Four

and work our way aft.

You and Julian
should start on Deck 21...

And work our way forward.

What about the station?

Little of it is habitable.

Most of K-7 consists
of storage areas

and industrial
fabrication facilities.

It shouldn't take
long to search.

Security isn't as tight
as it is on a starship.

Remember...
try to avoid contact

with people of this time period.

We're coming up on a band shift
in the scan cycle.

Dax.

Ready?

Deck 21.

Deck 21.

I said, Deck 21.

Maybe if you said, "Please."

What's wrong with this thing?

Don't ask me.

I don't know anything
about this time period.

Maybe it's jammed.

Take that panel off the wall.

Deck 15.

I won't tell anyone
if you don't.

They really packed them in
on these old ships.

What about over there?

Perfect.

An auxiliary
communications juncture.

I'll pretend to do repairs.

You scan for Darvin.

I used to have one of these.

Hmm. I love classic
23rd-century design.

Black finish...

silver highlights.

Dax...

Sorry.

I don't want
any more Spican flame gems.

Thanks to you I already have
enough Spican flame gems

to last me a lifetime.

How sad for you, my friend.

You won't find
a finer stone anywhere...

What's your pleasure?

Uh, I'll have a raktajino.

You're the second person
today who ordered that.

What is it?

Klingon coffee.

The second person?

Who was the first?

An older man... a human.

Where is he now?

I don't know.

He left about an hour ago.

I think he said he'd be back.

We don't have
any Klingon beverages.

Would you like something else?

Um...

Tarkalean tea.

Okay.

You're a difficult man to reach

but I have something

from the far reaches
of the galaxy.

Surely you want...

Not at your price.

Ooh, what is it?

Is it alive?

May I hold it?

Oh, it's adorable.

What is it?

Chief, you're supposed
to be working.

I'm afraid to touch anything.

It's all cross-circuited
and patched together.

I can't make
head nor tails of it.

Sounds like one
of your repair jobs.

Well, there's no sign
of Darvin in this section.

I'm going to have
to widen the scan radius.

If I can figure out how.

Well, keep the scan field
below 20 milliwatts.

Otherwise, you'll set off
the internal sensors.

Thank you, Chief.

I was listening during
the mission briefing.

What are you two doing here?

Scotty told me to do this.

Oh, you were
going to... do this?

It's on the duty roster.

Must have been...
some mix-up.

Isn't that a medical tricorder?

Yes. Yes, it is.

I'm a doctor.

Why do we need a doctor
to repair a power relay?

You don't...

obviously.

No. I'm doing a study.

It... has to do with...
work-related stress.

Oh.

Why don't you two, um, go on?

Pretend I'm not here.

So, where should we start?

Well...

obviously, the... first thing

we should do is
to take this, uh...

this transtator here...

and...

Leave it exactly where it is.

The, uh...

job pressure's
been getting to him.

Why don't you take over?

All right, Ensign.

I think I've seen enough.

Let's get you back to Sick Bay.

Oh.

Oh, uh, I'd appreciate it

if you wouldn't
mention this to anyone.

No problem.

Hope you feel better.

I have completed my search
of the Primary Habitat Level...

What is that sound?

Soothing, isn't it?

The bartender called it...

A tribble.

Sit down.

You're drawing attention.

Where did you get that...
thing?

From a man named Cyrano Jones.

He told me tribbles
like everyone

but this one doesn't
seem to like you.

The feeling's...!

The feeling's mutual.

They are detestable creatures.

Hmm. Interesting.

It's been my observation

that most humanoids
love soft, furry animals

especially if they make
pleasing sounds.

They do nothing
but consume food and breed.

If you feed that thing
more than the smallest morsel

in a few hours,
you'll have ten tribbles

then a hundred,
then a thousand.

Calm down.

They were once considered

mortal enemies
of the Klingon Empire.

This?

A mortal enemy of the Empire?

They were an ecological menace,
a plague to be wiped out.

Wiped out?

What are you saying?

Hundreds of warriors
were sent to track them down

throughout the galaxy.

An armada obliterated
the tribble homeworld.

By the end of the 23rd century,
they had been eradicated.

Hmm. Another glorious chapter
of Klingon history.

Tell me,
do they still sing songs

of the great tribble hunt?

What should we do?

Get to battle stations.

Deck Seven.

Let's see if we can
find out what's going on.

Sisko to Defiant.

Sisko to Defiant.

Defiant here.

Report.

A Klingon D7 battle cruiser
just dropped out of warp.

It's approaching the station.

Have they locked weapons?

Not yet.

Kira, can you identify
the Klingon vessel?

The IKS Gr'oth.

That's Koloth's ship.

Curzon's old friend?

Yes, and he isn't
going to attack.

I remember Koloth telling me
he once traded insults with Kirk

on a space station
near the Federation border.

He always regretted
never getting the chance

to face him in battle.

The Klingon ship
just transported two people

to the Station Manager's office,
Captain.

That's Koloth.

Maybe we should beam over
to the station

to help Odo and Worf.

We know Darvin was there
a few hours ago.

I think it might be better

if Chief O'Brien
and Dr. Bashir go.

But if we went,
we might run into Koloth.

Exactly.

It's not as if he
would recognize me.

I'd love to see him
at his prime.

Dax.

Major, beam the Chief
and the Doctor to K-7

and fill them in.

Aye, sir.

It would have been fun.

Too much fun.

Dax was right
about the Klingons.

They were only interested
in shore leave

and Captain Kirk allowed them

to beam aboard the station
in small groups.

When the Enterprise stood down
from Red Alert

we all resumed our search
for Darvin.

The next band shift

in the Enterprise scan cycle
will be in three minutes.

We'll be ready, Major.
O'Brien out.

We should find a turbolift.

Hello again.

Hello.

Deck Ten.

Your flap's open.

Excuse me?

On your tricorder.

You're draining power.

Oh...

thank you.

He's always doing that.

You're a doctor?

Yes.

I just transferred here

from the Lexington last week.

Welcome aboard.

I'm coming into Sick Bay
tomorrow for my physical.

1500.

Lieutenant Watley.

You realize, of course,
she was just using you

to get to me?

Watley...

that was my great-
grandmother's name.

Funny.

And I think she
was in Starfleet.

Well, it's a common enough name.

But if that was her?

Do you realize the odds?

No one ever met
my great-grandfather.

This could be
a predestination paradox.

Come on, Chief.

Surely you took elementary

temporal mechanics
at the Academy.

I could be destined
to fall in love with that woman

and become
my own great-grandfather.

You're being ridiculous.

Ridiculous?

If I don't meet with her
tomorrow, I may never be born!

Chief, are you ready
for transport?

Are we ever.

Stand by.

You saw the way
she looked at me.

You can't just dismiss this.

I can try.

All right.

Fine

but I can't wait to get
back to Deep Space 9

and see your face
when you find out

that I never existed.

Dax and I resumed our search
for Darvin.

Dax and I resumed our search
for Darvin.

Benjamin, look.

Bridge to Captain Kirk.

Kirk here.

Mr. Baris is waiting

on Channel E
to speak to you, sir.

Keep working.

We're a maintenance crew
just doing our job.

Mr. Baris is coming on.

Yes, Mr. Baris,
what can I do for you?

Kirk, this station
is swarming with Klingons.

I was not aware, Mr. Baris

that 12 Klingons
constitutes a swarm.

Captain Kirk, I consider

your security measures
a disgrace.

In my opinion,
you have taken this entire...

I had no idea.

What?

He's so much more
handsome in person.

Those eyes.

Kirk had quite the reputation
as a ladies' man.

Not him... Spock.

...free and complete access
to this station

for that man who just
walked out of here...

Let's go.

Mr. Baris, I have guards
around the grain.

I have guards around
the Klingons.

I can't believe
you don't at least

want to meet Captain Kirk?

That's the last thing
on my mind.

Oh, come on, Benjamin,
are you telling me

you're not the tiniest
bit interested in meeting

one of the most famous
men in Starfleet history?

We have a job to do.

But it's... it's James Kirk.

Look, of course,
I want to meet him.

I'd like to shake his hand,
ask him about...

fighting the Gorn on Cestus III.

But that's not why we're here,
old man.

You're right.

I guess the difference
between you and me is

I remember this time.

I lived in this time,
and it's...

it's hard to not want
to be a part of it again.

Clearly, we've been
going about

this search business
all wrong, Chief.

You're right.

Why bother searching

30 decks when you can
just plunk yourself down

at the bar here
and wait for Darvin

to come to you?

We have reason to believe
that he'll return to this area.

Ah, yes, the raktajino.

A vital clue that others
might have missed.

How fortunate it is

that it has kept you
stuck at this bar

for the past three
hours having drinks

while we've been crawling
through conduits.

My God, that's him.

Who?

Kirk.

Where?

The one on the left

in the gold,
just sitting down.

That's Kirk?

It would be an honor
to meet him.

Let's buy him a drink.

Gentlemen...

no one is buying anyone a drink.

He's right.

We can't risk altering
the timeline.

What'll it be, boys?

And don't ask for raktajino.

If I have to say we don't
carry that one more...

Who ordered a raktajino?

The Klingons.

Klingons?

Over there.

And over there.

Those are Klingons?

All right, you boys
have had enough.

Mr. Worf?

They are Klingons,
and it is a long story.

What happened?

Some kind
of genetic engineering?

A viral mutation?

We do not discuss it
with outsiders.

Take it easy, lad.

Everybody's entitled
to an opinion.

That's right

and if I think

that Kirk is a Denebian
slime devil

well, that's my opinion, too.

Don't do it, mister,
and that's an order.

But you heard what he called
the Captain.

Look at the way Kirk
is ignoring that Klingon.

He's letting
his security officer handle it.

Chief, are you sure
that's Kirk?

Absolutely.

Why is he wearing

Lieutenant's stripes?

...saggy, old rust...

I think we've got
bigger problems

than a case
of mistaken identity.

...garbage scow.

Half the Quadrant knows it.

That's why they're learning
to speak Klingonese.

Mr. Scott.

Laddie...

don't you think you should...
rephrase that?

You're right.

I should.

I didn't mean to say

that the Enterprise
should be hauling garbage.

I meant to say that it should
be hauled away as garbage.

What are you doing?

It's Darvin!

Your men could've avoided
that fight, Captain.

Regulation 157,
Section Three, Paragraph 18:

"Starfleet officers shall take
all necessary precautions

"to minimize any participation

in historical events."

All right.

It was a mistake.

But there were
no lasting repercussions.

How do you know that?

For all we know,
we could be living

in an alternate timeline
right now.

If my people had caused
any changes in the timeline

we would've been the first
to notice when we got back.

Why do they all
have to say that?

So...

your men were arrested...

That's right, but instead
of being taken to the brig

they were brought
in for questioning.

I want to know who started it.

I'm waiting.

Who started the fight?

I don't know, sir.

All right.

Chekov...

I know you.

You started it, didn't you?

No, sir.
I didn't.

Well, who did?

I don't know, sir.

"I don't know, sir."

I want to know
who threw the first punch.

All right, you're all
confined to quarters

until I find out who started it.

Dismissed.

That was close.

Me... of all the people
in the lineup

he asks me who threw
the first punch.

And you lied to him.

I lied to Captain Kirk.

I wish Keiko could've
been here to see it.

I'm sorry about that,
little fellow.

Who left you out here all alone?

He's not alone.

Welcome back, Mr. Darvin.

The pleasure is all mine.

Worf...

hold on.

I hope you realize
you'll be facing

some very serious charges
when we get back.

You wouldn't dare

put one of the greatest heroes
of the Klingon Empire

into the brig.

You are no hero to the Empire.

I will be.

I've been thinking
about my statue

in the Hall of Warriors.

I want it to capture
my essence.

Our statues can be so...

generic sometimes,
don't you think?

I take it
whatever your plan is

you've already
set it in motion.

I see myself standing
with Kirk's head in one hand...

and a tribble in the other.

What have you done?

Did you hire someone
to kill him?

Did you sabotage the Enterprise?

Nothing so mundane.

Let's just say that Kirk's death

will have a certain
poetic justice to it.

He put a bomb in a tribble?

It's his revenge.

Originally, Kirk saw
how a tribble reacted

to Darvin and realized
that he was a Klingon.

He wouldn't say
where this tribble was

but he did say that it was set
to go off within the hour.

It could be anywhere.

Benjamin, I think we should risk
going to the Bridge.

If we can use
the internal sensors

we can scan the entire ship
for explosives

in a matter of seconds.

Dax and I will take care
of the Enterprise.

The rest of you beam over to K-7
and start searching there.

Understood.

But I think Mr. Worf
should remain here.

It seems he's... allergic
to tribbles.

All right.

Captain

I'm not sure we can get
to K-7's internal sensors.

Then you will have
to manually scan

every tribble on the station.

There must be thousands
of them by now.

Hundreds of thousands.

1,771,561.

That's starting with one tribble
with an average litter of ten

every 12 hours.

After three days...

Thank you.

You have your orders, people.
Sisko out.

Dr. McCoy, would you mind
coming up to the Bridge?

I rerouted
the sensor interface.

It worked.

I'm scanning the Bridge.

Nothing up here.

That's a relief.

When Kirk sat on that tribble,
I half expected it to go off.

Nothing on the first six decks.

Did you want to see me, Jim?

Well, don't look at me.

It's the tribbles
who are breeding.

I know him.

That must be McCoy,
the ship's doctor.

McCoy...
McCoy...

Well, the nearest thing
I can figure out

is that they're born pregnant...

which seems to be
quite a time saver.

Leonard McCoy.

I met him when he was
a student at OI' Miss.

Who met him... Curzon?

No.

My host at the time was Emony.

She was on Earth judging
a gymnastics competition.

I had a feeling
he'd become a doctor.

He had the hands of a surgeon.

I've scanned every deck.

The bomb's not aboard the ship.

Then it must be somewhere
on K-7.

Odo here.

The bomb's

not on the Enterprise.
It must be over there.

We've only been able
to get through two decks.

We're running out of time.

I can send more teams
from the Defiant.

It's not a question
of manpower.

It's a question
of multiplication.

The tribbles are breeding so
fast we can't keep up with them.

Benjamin, maybe we could
narrow things down a little.

Presumably, Darvin put the bomb
somewhere he knows Kirk

is going to be
in the next half an hour

so if we stick close to Kirk...

He might lead us right to it.

It's worth a try,
but there's no reason

for us to stop searching
over here.

Keep at it for now, Constable.

Deck Five.

This is my chicken sandwich
and coffee.

I want these things
off the ship.

I don't care if it takes
every man we've got.

I want them off the ship.

Aye, they're into the machinery,
all right

and they're probably
in all the other

food processors, too.

How?

Probably through one
of the air vents.

Captain, there are vents
of that type

on the space station.

And in the storage compartments.

Storage compartments.
Storage compartments.

...meet us near
the storage compartments.

We're beaming down.

Most of these are dead.

The grain's poisoned.

I'm picking up a faint
tricobalt signature.

The bomb's under here somewhere.

What's that?

It's not working, sir.

It seems to be stuck.

Here, let me try.

Someone's trying
to open the bay door.

Benjamin, it's right
here in front of us.

They seem to be gorged.

Gorged?!

On my grain?!

Kirk, I am going
to hold you responsible!

Must be thousands of them.

Hundreds of thousands.

1,771,561.

That's assuming one
tribble multiplying

with an average litter of ten
producing a new generation

every 12 hours over
a period of three days.

I found it.

Sisko to Defiant.

Go ahead, Captain.

I found the bomb.

Lock on to my tricorder signal

and beam it into space.

Acknowledged.

Kira to Sisko.

It worked.

And as Captain,
I want two things done.

First, find Cyrano Jones...

and second...

close that door.

After the bomb was detonated,
history continued uninterrupted.

And thanks to the tribbles

Kirk was able to uncover
the truth about Darvin.

They don't like you, Mr. Darvin.

I wonder why?

Bones?

Jim, this man is a Klingon.

By the time we returned
to the Defiant

Major Kira had discovered
how to use the Orb

to bring us back
to our own time.

And that's when you
returned to the present?

Well... not exactly.

Before we left

I realized there was one
last thing I had to do...

something I'd been
thinking about

ever since I saw that ship
on the viewscreen.

Excuse me, Captain.

Here's tomorrow's duty roster
for your approval.

Lieutenant, uh...
Lieutenant...

Benjamin Sisko, sir.

I've been
on temporary assignment here.

Before I leave,
I just want to say...

it's been an honor
serving with you, sir.

All right, Lieutenant,
carry on.

Thank you, sir.

Now...

if you want to put
a letter of reprimand

in my file for that,
then go ahead.

We'll have to review the case

before making
any recommendations.

However, I don't think
there was any harm done.

Probably would have done
the same thing myself.

You'll be receiving our report
in about a month.

But, based on what
you've told us

I don't think you have
anything to worry about.

I'm glad to hear it.

Good-bye, Captain.

Good-bye.

Docking Port Seven.

It went well?

Good.

The Constable wants to see us
on the Promenade.

Did you tell them?

They didn't ask.

I'm open to suggestions, people.

We could build another station.