Star Trek (1966–1969): Season 1, Episode 6 - Mudd's Women - full transcript

After stopping a vessel in space, Kirk and the crew find a very odd captain with a very strange cargo. The captain of the vessel is Harcourt Fenton Mudd - known as Harry to his friends - and the cargo are three lovely women he is transporting as brides for lonely men on distant planets. Kirk has a major problem: while trying to rescue Mudd and his women from his disintegrating ship, the Enterprise's lithium crystals used to power the engines were destroyed. They travel to a nearby mining colony where Mudd sets about to arrange marriages for the women, interfering with Kirk's plan to buy the crystals. All the time, the ship's orbit is deteriorating and risks burning up in the atmosphere.

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Captain's log-- Stardate 1329.8.

The U.S.S. Enterprise in pursuit
of an unidentified vessel.

There he is, sir.
Center screen.

- Still trying to run from us.
- Don't lose him.

No, sir.

- Earth ship, Mr. Spock?
- Difficult to say.

We're getting
no registration beam.

If it is, he'll soon
overload his engines.

He's pushing his engines too hard.

Changing course again.
He knows we're after him.

Stay with him, Mr. Sulu.


I've tried.
He refuses to answer.

- Unless he's not receiving us.
- He's receiving us.

Approaching an asteroid belt,

- Schiller rating-- 3-5.
- Deflectors on, Mr. Farrell.

He's seen the asteroid, too.

Stay with him.

He'll try to lose us in them.

lf one hits him--

Sensor reading on the vessel.

I make out a small,
class J cargo ship,

and his engines
are super-heating.

Try to warn him.
If he loses power now--

There go his engines, sir.

He is drifting
into asteroid belt, Captain.

He's had it,

unless we put our
deflector screen around him.

If we try, we'll overload
our own engines. He's too far away.

Cover him with our
deflector screen, Mr. Farrell.


Scotty, Spock, stand by
in the transporter room.

Aye, sir.

We're protecting him, sir.

We won't be able
to hold it long.

We're overloading, Captain.
Engine temperatures climbing.

[Beep Beep Beep]


the final frontier.

These are the voyages
of the starship Enterprise.

Its five-year mission--

to explore strange new worlds,

to seek out new life
and new civilizations,

to boldly go where
no man has gone before.

This is the engine room.

Temperatures are passing
the danger line.

Deflector screen's weakening.
We can't protect them much longer.


That was one of
our lithium crystal circuits, sir.

Bridge to transporter room,
beam that crew over--

They're not answering.

Nothing to lock onto.

Another circuit, sir.

I'm getting a distress
signal call from them, sir.

Scotty, we're getting
a distress signal.

- [Beep]
- We're locked onto something, Captain.

Meaning no ingratitude,

but just where is it
I find meself?

You're aboard
the U.S.S. Enterprise.

It's really a darn
beautiful ship, isn't it?

Really a beautiful ship.

Oh, the name, gentlemen,
is Walsh, Captain Leo Walsh.

How many more in your crew?

A few more.

Your vessel's breaking up, man.

If we don't get them--

We couldn't be sure
you was a friendly vessel.

The three will be
in position about now.


- [Buzz]
- [Beep Beep]

Another lithium circuit.

Now supplementing
with battery power, sir.

Scotty, how many of them
did you get aboard?

One, but we've locked
onto three more.

What's wrong?

I don't know, sir.

With those
lithium crystals gone--

- It'll take longer on battery.
- Never trusted this.

There she goes!

Asteroid. Hit him dead center.

Bridge to transporter room.

Their vessel was hit.
Is the crew off?

Not yet, but we've
hooked onto something.

Kirk to transporter room. Report.

It's all right, darlings.

We're in good hands.

Bridge to transporter room.

We're clearing
the asteroid belt now, Captain.

Deflector screen down,
Mr. Farrell.

Captain to transporter room.

Are you reading me, Mr. Scott?

Bridge to transporter room.
How many did we get off?


Um... four in all, sir.

If that captain can walk,
I want him in my cabin.


I want him there
no matter what.

That fellow sounded
a mite upset, didn't he?


Yes, they are.


You're certain this was
everyone aboard, Mr. Walsh?

No other crewmen?

No. That's everyone, all right.

But so far as the ladies
being the crew--

Explain that to the captain.


Amen to that, Scotty.

Sure, these starships
are really something marvelous,

but men will always be men,

no matter where they are.

Eh, mister? You'll never
take that out of them.

Deck 12.

- You're part Vulcanian, aren't you?
- Mmm.

Ah, well, then a pretty face
doesn't affect you at all,

unless you want it to.

You can save it, girls.

This type can turn himself off
from any emotion.

[Door Opens]

I apologize for what he said, sir.
He's used to buying and selling people.

I'll handle
the conversation, darling.

- [Knock On Door]
- Come.

Commander of the transport
to see you, Captain.

Good. Now, if you
don't mind telling--


And the ladies?
ls this your crew, Captain?

Well, no, Captain.

This is me cargo.

Captain's log-- Stardate 1329.1.

We've taken aboard from unregistered
transport vessel its captain and--

and three unusual females.

These women have
a mysterious magnetic effect

on the male members of my crew,

including myself.

Explanation unknown at present.

Well, how the devil am I supposed to
know this is a starship, Captain?

A strange ship comes alongside.

Naturally I tried to evade you.

Starship captain,
you exceeded your authority

when you drove me and mine
into a shower of asteroids.

Your name, please.

Leo Walsh.
You destroyed me ship.

I'm convening a ship's hearing
on your actions.

Mr. Spock will supply you
with any legal information

you may need for your defense.

- You're a hard-nosed one, Captain.
- And you're a liar.

I think we both
understand each other.


Escort Mr. Walsh to his quarters.
Confine him there.

You're on duty, Johnny-O.

Back to reality.

You can feel their eyes
when they look at you,

Iike something
grabbing hold of you.

Did you notice?

I noticed. How I noticed!

Come on, now, Johnny. Ok.

We've got trouble, Mr. Spock.

I'm well aware of that,
Mr. Scott.

One lithium crystal left,

and that with a hairline split
at the base.

- Better rig a by-pass circuit.
- Can't.

We blew the whole
converter assembly.

- [Click]
- Kirk here.

Needed on the bridge, Captain.


Harry! Where were you?

Shh! Calm down now.

Would you mind
waiting outside?

- Sorry, sir.
- Now,

answer every question
they put to you.

Don't lie.
You've no need.

Don't submit to a med--

That is, being so healthy,

they've no need
for a medical exam.

What if they ask about--

They won't.
Have you no place to go?

They'll notice we're--

No, they won't.

Just let Leo take
all the hard questions.

- Don't be panicking. We'll get to--
- Get where?

- We don't have a ship, Harry.
- Le--

Leo. Leo Walsh is me name, darling.

Don't forget that.

So lovely.
Lovely, aren't they?

If they'd only think
lovely thoughts.

If they'd smile,

they'll come out right,
won't they?

Me personal guarantee on that.

The entire ship's power
is feeding through

one lithium crystal.

Well, switch to by-pass circuits.

We burned them all out
when we super-heated.

That jackass Walsh not only wrecked
his vessel, but in saving--

That's one jackass
we're going to see skinned.

But it's frustrating.

Almost a million
gross tons of vessel

depending on a hunk of crystal
the size of my fist.

That won't last
pulling all our power.

Well, Mr. Spock?

There's a lithium
mining operation on Rigel-12.

High-grade ore, I've heard.

Location and distance.

Mr. Farrell has the course.

Less than two day's travel.

Make for Rigel-12.

Rigel-12, Mr. Farrell.

You have the course.

Captain's log-- Stardate 1329.2.

On board the U.S.S. Enterprise,

a ship's hearing is being convened
against the transport vessel's captain.

I'm becoming concerned about
the almost-hypnotic effect

produced by the women.

This hearing is convened.

Stardate 1329.2,

on board starship
U.S.S. Enterprise.

Formal hearings against
transport captain Leo Walsh.

Start computer.

State your name
for the record.

Leo Francis Walsh.


Your correct name.

Gentlemen, you're not
going to take the word

of a mechanical device
over that of a man.


State your correct name
for the record.

- Harry Mudd.
- Incorrect.

Harcourt Fenton Mudd.

Any past offenses, Mr. Mudd?

Of course not.

Gentlemen, I'm simply
an honest businessman.


Blast that tin-plated pot.

Full data coming on screen.

If it can read our minds, too...

It can't, darling.

Just what's on the record.

Offense record-- smuggling.


Transport of stolen goods.

Purchase of space vessel
with counterfeit currency.

psychiatric treatment...

effectiveness disputed.

Mr. Mudd,

you're charged with

galaxy travel
without a flight plan,

without an identification beam,

and failure to answer
a starship's signal,

thus a menace to navigation.

My tiny ship
in this immense galaxy

a menace to navigation?

You're also charged
with operation of a vessel

without a master's license.

Untrue! I have a master's ticket.

Incorrect. Master's license
revoked Stardate 1116.4.

All right. Well, very simply,

Leo Walsh, who was to be
my captain on this trip,

passed away suddenly.

Well, I had no choice
but to take out me ship me own self.

I assumed Leo's name
out of courtesy to him.

In memoriam, as it were.

A fine, fine man,

alas, gone to his reward.

Destination and purpose
of journey?

Planet Ophiuchus-3.

Wiving settlers.

Come again, Mr. Mudd.
You do what?

I recruit wives for settlers,

a difficult but satisfying task.

Data on witnesses.

No data.

Computer, go to sensor probe.
Any unusual readings?

No decipherable reading on females.

However, unusual reading
on male board members.

Detecting high
respiration patterns,

perspiration rates up,

heartbeat rapid,

blood pressure higher than normal.

Uh, that's sufficient.

Strike that from the record,
Mr. Spock.

You see, gentlemen,
just as I told you.

Three lovely ladies

destined for frontier planets

to be the companions
of lonely men,

to supply that warmth
of a human touch

that's so desperately needed--

a wife, a home, a family.

Gentlemen, I look upon this work

as a sacred public trust.

I've devoted me whole life to it.


Well, I'm about to start
devoting my entire life to it.

Did these ladies
come voluntarily?

Well, of course!
Now, for example,

Ruthie comes from a pelagic planet--
sea ranchers.

Magda there from helium
experimental station.

It's the same for all of us.
No men.

Mine was a farm planet

with automated machines
for company

and two brothers to cook for,
mend their clothes,

canal mud on their boots
all the time.

Fine, Evie. Fine.

It's not fine!

We've got men willing to be
our husbands waiting for us,

and you're taking us
in the opposite direction!

Staring at us

Iike we were Saturnius
harem girls or something.

That's enough, Evie.

The only charges
are against Mr. Mudd.

Illegal operation of a vessel.

Do you have any defense?

Only heaven's own truth,
which I've just given you.

The hearing is closed.

Mr. Mudd to be handed over
to the legal authorities

at our earliest opportunity.

And what about us? What happens to us?
Help us, please.

Miss McHuron, if you don't mind--

Our last crystal, sir.
It's gone.

Captain Kirk,
engineering section reports

our entire life-support system
is now on batteries.

Mr. Spock-- Miss McHuron, please.

Mr. Spock, will you contact
the miners on Rigel-12?

Notify them that we'll need the lithium
crystals immediately upon arrival.

Oh, you beautiful galaxy!

Oh, that heavenly universe!

Well, girls, lithium miners.

Don't you understand?

Lonely, isolated,
overworked, rich

Iithium miners!

Girls, do you still
want husbands, hmm?

Evie, you won't settle for
a ship's captain.

I'll get you a man
who can buy planets.

Maggie, you're going to
be a countess.

Ruth, I'll make you a duchess.

And l--

I'll be running this starship.

Captain James Kirk,
the next orders you're taking

will be given by
Harcourt Fenton Mudd!

Captain's log-- Stardate 1330.1.

14 hours out of Rigel-12.

We're on auxiliary impulse engines.

Fuel low, barely sufficient
to achieve orbit over the planet.

Lithium replacements
are now imperative.

The effect of Mudd's women
on my crew continues to grow.

Harry Mudd is confined
to his quarters under guard.

[Female Voice]
May I come in?

Why, yes, please do.
By all means.

Connors, are you finished?

I was wondering
what this place looked like.


It's fascinating.

Would--Would you
walk past my panel again, please?

Your what?

- My medical scanner.
- Oh, why?

You're not giving me
an examination, are you?

No. I wouldn't trust my--

my judgment, believe me.

Just walk by, please.


It's not supposed to do that.

I wondered, will you be examining
the miners on Rigel-12?

Yes, if they need it.

- You haven't asked?
- [Beeping Stops]

- Are they in good health?
- What?

Oh, yes, they're
in excellent health,

all three of them.

Oh. Three.

Are you wearing
some unusual kind of perfume

or something radioactive,
my dear?

No. I'm just me.

Wonder what makes it do that.


I hope you don't mind.

As a matter of fact,
Miss McHuron, I do.

I was taking a walk,
and I had to run in someplace.

All your men were looking at me,

following me with their eyes.

Yes. I'll have to
talk to them about that.

They, uh-- They don't
do that ordinarily, Miss McHuron,

but somehow, in your case,
and the ladies with you--

Well, they're probably just lonely.

I can understand loneliness.


Yes, uh, now, Miss McHuron--

I--I suppose
you understand it even more.

I mean, having to run
a huge ship like this

with so much
responsibility every minute

and having to be so careful

with all your men
looking up to you.

Well, it probably appears
more difficult than it is.

Hmm! I read once

that a commander has to act
like a paragon of virtue.

I never met a paragon.

Neither have l.

Well, of course not.
No one is.

But some people try to pretend.


Do you, Captain?

Miss McHuron, I don't--

Oh, no! Oh!
I just can't do it.

I don't care
what Harry Mudd says.

I do like you,

but I just can't
go through with it.

I hate this whole thing!

Just three? You sure?

Yes. The miners are healthy
and fairly young.

Later, dear, later. Magda, did you
get to your communications man?

The head miner
is named Ben Childress.

The others are Gossett and Benton.

And they've been there--

Almost three years now, alone!

Perfect. Perfect.

Three of them and three
lovely ladies has Harry Mudd.

And lithium crystals, my dear,

are worth 300 times
their weight in diamonds,

thousands of times
their weight in gold.

But they'll be down there,

and we'll be up here,
circling a hundred miles above them.

There's a guard
outside your door.

You can't get
out of your cabin.

After one more job for you,

it won't be Harry Mudd
that's trapped.

It will be a gentleman
named James T...

I don't like you,

and I'm not very happy
with myself, either.

Well, I'm not really surprised.

I've seen you noticing
the captain.

We're supposed to notice them!


Oh, Harry.

I don't feel very good.

I think it must be near the time.

I asked for a preorbital course,
Mr. Farrell.


Preorbital course
locked in, sir.

That's the last time I'm giving
an order twice, gentlemen.

We're down to battery power.

It'll get us to Rigel-12, sir.

Just hang us in long enough
to get six crystals.

I'll get you there.


What are we running here?

Did you examine them?
Did you examine Eve?

She refused.

Well, come on,
you're the doctor.

What is it?

Is it that we're tired,
and they're beautiful?

They are incredibly beautiful.

Are they, Jim?

Are they actually more lovely,

pound for pound,
measurement for measurement,

than any other women
you've known?

Or is it that they just...

well, act beautiful.

No, strike that.

Strike that.

What are they, Bones?

You mean are they
alien illusions?

That sort of thing?

I asked you first.


an alien smart enough
to pull this

could also keep my medical scanner
from going "bleep!"

- I don't follow you.
- I don't either.

Top-space frequency of 3-9.

[Communicator Beeps]

Rigel-12. Rigel-12.

This is Rigel-12.
Come in, Enterprise.

This isn't exactly the Enterprise.

My name is Harry Mudd.

To whom have I the pleasure
of speaking, sir?

Power curve
still dropping, Captain.

We'll make orbit, sir.
A temporary one.

Lay in. Computer?

We can sustain this orbit

for three days, seven hours.

More than enough time.

Communications, have
a Rigel-12 representative meet us.

Beam him up
first pass over their camp.

Look what's happening.

Look at my face.

Give us the pills.

What if someone
sees us like this?

You'll never find them, Harry.

And if you do find them,

you know what they are?

A cheat.

If you care for someone,

really care--

For whom, Evie? For Kirk?

Ship's captains are already married
to their vessels.

You'd find out the first time
you came between him and the ship.

I'm going back
to what I was--ugly.

I can't stand myself like this.

Why did you hide them, Harry?
Don't you trust us?

I didn't hide them.
I put them in a safe place.

Find the pill, Harry!


Yes! Here!

Go on, Eve. Take it.

It's not a cheat.

It's a miracle...

for some man
who can appreciate it

and who needs it.

Even burned and cracked,
they're beautiful.

Destroying them was a shame.

The choice was burning
this lithium crystal

or the destruction
of another man's ship.

- [Door Buzzer Buzzes]
- Come.

Mining Chief Childress
and Mr. Gossett.

Show them in.

I'm James Kirk,
captain of the Enterprise.

This is my science officer
Mr. Spock.

Let's get right to business.

We've got lithium crystals.

I'm authorized to pay
an equitable price.

We're not sure
they're for sale.

We might prefer a swap.

- What did you have in mind?
- Mudd's women.

We'd like to have
a look at them first.

Trot them out, Captain.

Either way, I've agreed to have
Harry Mudd released.

Charges dropped.

Ha ha ha!

Is there anything else?

You've got no choice, Kirk.

You beam a landing party down,

and you won't find
one blessed crystal.

No deal.

You're a long way
out in space, gentlemen.

You'll need medical help,
cargo runs, starship protection.

You want to consider that?

Come along, ladies.

You must be Ben Childress.
Come on now, girls.

And you must be Herm Gossett.

Yes, I reckon I am.

One thing I'll say
for you, Mudd,

you're not a liar.

Ladies, you are welcome.

It's still no deal!

Conserving batteries, sir.
Half power.

I'm told they have only
three days of orbit left

before they start spiraling in.

I hate to see you suffering
such a situation, Captain.

The sad fact is,
you will deal.

Sooner or later,
you'll have to.

Captain's log--

Transporting down to surface
of planet Rigel-12

to acquire replacement
lithium crystals.

Expect further difficulty
from miners.

[Music Playing]

All right, Childress,
you've won.

I'll take the lithium crystals.

When I have the time, Kirk.

Ha ha ha!


We're busy, Mr. Kirk.

We don't have
the time to spare, Captain.

You got a better idea?

Blows like that all the time.

[Wind Howling]

You can get lost

a dozen feet
from your doorstep.

The wind comes up sudden.


Magnetic storm.

That means the wind
will really rip soon.

Dance with me.

- Would you like to dance?
- No, l--



I'm sorry, I guess
it must be the dust.

That's the way
it is on Rigel...

all the time.


- Hey.
- Go away.

- I'm cutting in.
- Not on me.

What's the matter with you?

Why don't you run a raffle

and the loser gets me?

You can't go out there!

Just have those crystals here
when I get back.



Captain's log--

Have transported aboard
the Enterprise

to search with infrared scanners
and sensing system.

Magnetic storms
on the planet's surface

are reducing efficiency
of our equipment.

Search now in progress
for 3 hours, 18 minutes.

Traverse parallel three and four.


but not getting much.

The storm is ionizing
the atmosphere.

Getting difficult
to probe through it.

Captain, this is draining
our batteries further.

- If we only had those crystals.
- But we don't!

I didn't get any.
Satisfied, Mr. Scott?

Losing communications
with the miners, sir.

Magnetic storm seems worse.

Has Childress reported in yet?

No, sir.
They're still missing.

Sorry, Scotty.

- How much power is left?
- About five hours.

Captain's log--

Have expended all but
43 minutes of power.

Ship's condition--critical.

Search now in progress
7 hours, 31 minutes.

Magnetic storms are easing.

Infrared reading.
Check traverse three,

grid 0-4-0.

11 miles. Bearing 1-2-1
from the mining company.

That's Childress' quarters.

There's a heat unit operating.
It could be a cookstove.

Have Mudd meet me
in the transporter room.

[Kicks Chair]

I had things
where I wanted them.

I ate some of your food,

so I paid with some chores.

I do my own cooking. Aah!

I've not laid a hand on you.

Remember that.

Oh, the sound of male ego.

You travel halfway
across the galaxy,

and it's still the same song.

There. You going to
eat or talk?

I guess I'm supposed to sit,
taste, and roll my eyes.

"Ooh, female cooking again."

I've tasted better,
by my own hand.

You're tasting some of it.

I couldn't scrape your leavings
out of that pan.

Find me some decent water,
then talk.

Well, why don't you
hang your pan out in the wind

and let the sand
blast it clean?

Hadn't you thought about that?

It might work.

That solitaire?

Double jack.

The red eight ought to go
on the black nine.

Not in double jack.

You're not only plain
as an old bucket,

you're not even good company.

What the devil happened
to your looks, anyway?

I got tired of you.
I slumped.

You're homely!

I've got enough in crystals
already to buy queens...

by the gross!

I didn't touch her.

Thank heaven you found her.

She's been bubbling
with gratitude ever since.

Sit down.

Tell him.

Tell him, Harry.

Ah. Yes, well--

The Venus drugs, Harry.

Venus drug?

I've heard of it, but
isn't that just a story?

Oh, it exists, illegally.

Well, actually, you see,
it's a relatively harmless drug.

- Harmless?
- Yeah, uh--

Well, what it does is
give you more

of whatever you have.

Well, with men,
it makes them more muscular.

Women, rounder.

Men, more aggressive.
Women, more feminine.

He gave it to the women
before you met them.

Does that mean the others...

they look like she does?

- Mr. Childress, l--
- Is that what it means?

Yes, that's what it means!

What happened to my partners?

They left during the storm.

They're married--
subspace radio marriage.

It was a fraud.
They can get out of it.

If they want to.


- You can't condemn the women.
- I can!

A man goes out and fights,

almost dies.

We all almost die.

We should have, but we didn't.

And now that we've
got the good life in our hands,

you bring us women for wives--

You don't want wives!

You want this.

This is what you want,
Mr. Childress.

I hope you remember it,

because you can't have it!

It's not real!

Is this the kind
of wife you want, Ben?

Not someone to help you.

Not a wife to cook
and sew and cry

and need,

but this kind.


vain, useless.

Is this what you really want?

All right, then.
Here it is.

Quite a woman, eh, Childress?

A fake...

pumped up by a drug.

By herself.
She took no drug.

- I swallowed it.
- Colored gelatin.

Yes, they took away my drug

and substituted that.

But that can't be.

- There's only one kind of woman.
- Or man.

You either believe in yourself,
or you don't.

Childress, I've gone as far
with you as I intend to.

I want those
lithium crystals now.

[Communicator Beeps]

- Enterprise, this is Kirk.
- Spock here, Captain.

Stand by.

Do I beam down a search party?

No. The crystals are here,

and you're welcome to them.

Stand by, Mr. Spock.

We're coming aboard
with the lithium crystals.

How many coming?

Eve will stay...

today, at least.

We, uh--

We want to talk.


You've got someone up
there called the Enterprise.

Two of us, Mr. Spock.

Come along, Mr. Mudd.

Don't you think you could,
by accident,

arrange to leave me behind?

That would be
punishment enough.

I can't do that, Harry.

But I will appear as
a character witness at your trial,

if you think that'll help.

They'll throw away the key.

That must have been
quite a talk.

Ever try considering
the patent medicine business?

Why should I work
your side of the street?

I'm happy the affair is over.

A most annoying emotional episode.

Smack right in the old heart.

Oh, I'm sorry.

In your case,
it would be about here.

The fact that my internal arrangement
differs from yours, Doctor,

pleases me no end.

Course plotted
and all systems in operation.

Engines engaged.
Helm answering.

Out of orbit, sir.

Ahead full.

Ahead full, sir.