Star Trek (1966–1969): Season 1, Episode 24 - This Side of Paradise - full transcript

The Enterprise is ordered to clean up the aftermath of a doomed colony on Omicron Ceti III, a planet under constant irradiation from deadly Berthold Rays. Upon arrival, however, the colonists aren't only alive but in perfect health, with no desire to leave their new world. They are in fact under the influence of plant spores which not only keep them in good and improved health but simultaneously keep them in a placid state of happiness and contentment. Mr Spock reacquaints with Leila Kalomi, an old friend who had been (and still is) in love with him. She leads Spock into being affected by the spores, and he is thereafter, for the first time, able to express love for her in return. Eventually the entire ship's crew is affected, leaving Kirk alone to wonder how he can possibly rescue them from perpetual bliss.

- Approaching Omicron Ceti lll, sir.
- Standard orbit, Mr Painter.

Captain, l've been transmitting a contact
signal every five minutes as ordered.

- All l get is dead air. Shall l continue?
- Maintain transmission pattern.

Mr Spock, there were 150 men,
women and children on that colony.

- What are the chances of survivors?
- None.

Berthold rays are a recent discovery.
We do not have full knowledge of them.

Living animal tissue
disintegrates under exposure.

Sandoval's group
could not have survived.

Those people built a future in a place
knowing they might not survive?

They knew there was a risk.

Can we send
people down to the planet surface?

Tissue breakdown
does not develop immediately.

- We can risk a limited exposure.
- We've established orbit.

- l've pinpointed a settlement.
- Thank you, Mr Painter.

Mr Spock, equip a landing party of five
to accompany me to the surface.

lnclude Dr McCoy and a biologist.
l want them in ten minutes.

Another dream that failed.
There's nothing sadder.

lt took these people a year
to make the trip.

They came all that way and died.

Hardly that, sir.

Welcome to Omicron Ceti lll.

l'm Elias Sandoval.

Space - the final frontier.

These are the voyages
of the starship Enterprise.

lts five-year mission,
to explore strange new worlds,

to seek out new life
and new civilisations,

to boldly go
where no man has gone before.

Captain's log, stardate 3417.3.

We thought our mission to Omicron
Ceti lll would be an unhappy one.

We had expected to find no survivors
of the agricultural colony there.

our information was incorrect.

We haven't seen anyone outside
our group for four years.

We've been expecting someone.
Our radio didn't work properly.

We didn't have anyone here
who could master it.

Actually, Mr Sandoval, we didn't come
here because of your silent radio.

lt makes little difference.
You're here. We're happy to see you.

Come, let me show you our settlement.

On pure speculation, just an educated
guess, l'd say that man is alive.

This planet is being bombarded by
berthold rays, as our reports indicated.

At this intensity, we'll be safe for a week,
if necessary. But...

But these people shouldn't be alive.

ls it possible that they're not?

You shook hands with him.
His flesh was warm. He's alive.

There's also no question
that berthold rays are deadly.

No miracle connected with it.
No cures, no serums, no antidotes.

lf a man is exposed long enough,
he dies.

Gentlemen, we're debating in a vacuum.
Let's go get some answers.

There are two other settlements.
We have 45 colonists here.

Why the dispersal?

We felt we would have
a better chance for growth.

lf disease struck one group,
the others may not be affected.

Omicron is an ideal agricultural planet.

We determined not to suffer the fate
of expeditions that went before us.


Leila, come meet our guests.

This is Leila Kalomi, our botanist.

This is Captain Kirk,
Dr McCoy, Mr Spock.

Mr Spock and l have met before.

lt's been a long time.

Mr Sandoval, we do have
a mission here. Examinations, tests.

By all means, make them. You'll find
our settlement an interesting one.

Our philosophy is simple. Men should
return to a less complicated life.

We have few mechanical things here.
No vehicles, no weapons.

We have harmony here.
Complete peace.

We'll try not to interfere with your work.

Make yourselves at home, gentlemen.

What exactly are we
looking for anyway, sir?

Whatever doesn't look right,
whatever that is.

With farms, l wouldn't know what looked
right if it were two feet from me.


What is it?

No cows. This barn isn't even built
for them, just for storage.

Come to think of it,
we haven't seen any animals.

No horses, no pigs, not even a dog.

- You've known the Vulcanian?
- On Earth. Six years ago.

- Did you love him?
- lf l did, it was important only to myself.

How did he feel?

Mr Spock's feelings
were never expressed.

lt is said he has none to give.

Would you like him to stay with us now,
to be as one of us?

There is no choice, Elias. He will stay.

That'll be all, thank you very much.


l've examined nine men so far,
varying in ages from 23 to 59.

They're all in perfect condition.

Heart, lungs, excellent. Coordination,
excellent. Reflexes, excellent.

lf there were many more of them,
l could throw away my shingle.

- Kirk here.
- Spock here, Captain.

There is a total absence of life
on the planet,

with the exception of the colonists
and various types of flora.

Sulu said the same.
Any explanations?

No. l'm conducting tests with the
tricorder, but results are inconclusive.

Very well. Continue investigations.
Kirk out.

No animals. That's peculiar.

The records of this expedition indicate
they had some for breeding and food.

- Apparently, none of them survived.
- l'd like to see the medical records.

l thought you might.

Captain, l've been looking for you.
You haven't seen our fields and crops.

l'd like to show you both
what we've accomplished.

l'll have to bow out. l have to continue
with these medical examinations.

However, if l find everyone else's health
to be as perfect as yours, l...

- He promised to throw away his shingle.
- You'll find no weaklings here. Captain?

This is the reason, Captain.
This soil will grow anything we plant in it.

lt's a perfect world.
We have a moderate climate,

moderate rains all year round.

lt gives us all we need. lt is perfect.

Pardon me, Captain.
Biology report ready, sir.

Well, l have work
to tend to myself, Captain.

Go ahead, Lieutenant.

Sandoval said they could grow anything.
True. They've got a variety of crops.

- Grains, potatoes, beans.
- Make your point.

For an agricultural colony,
they have very little acreage planted.

There's enough to sustain the colony,
but very little more.

lt's like a jigsaw puzzle, all one colour.
No key to where the pieces fit in. Why?

- Kirk here.
- This is McCoy. Get back here.

- Trouble?
- No, but l'd like you to see this.

On my way.

Sandoval's medical record.
Four years ago, when they left Earth.

He had scar tissue on his lungs
from pneumonia when he was a child.

No major operations,
but there was an appendectomy.

- Received all required inoculations.
- What's strange about that?

Nothing, but l examined him two hours
ago. You know what his readings were?

Perfect. Just like everyone else
l've examined here.

- lnstrument malfunction?
- No. l thought of that.

l tested it on myself. lt recorded my lack
of tonsils and those two broken ribs.

lt did not record the scar tissue
on Sandoval's lungs,

but it did record a healthy appendix
where one was supposedly removed.

Nothing. Not even insects.

Yet your plants grow and you've
survived exposure to berthold rays.

- That can be explained.
- Please do.


l have never understood the female
capacity to avoid a direct answer.

And l never understood you. Until now.

There was always a place in here
where no one could come.

There was only the face
you allow people to see.

Only one side you'd allow them to know.

l would like to know how your people
have survived here.

- l missed you.
- Logically, you should all be dead.

lf l tell you how we survived,

will you try to understand how we feel
about our life here, about each other?

Emotions are alien to me. l'm a scientist.

Someone else might believe that.
Your shipmates. Your captain.

But not me. Come.

l've received orders to evacuate
all personnel from this colony.

You'll inform your people
to begin preparations.

We will have accommodations
for you aboard the Enterprise.


lt's not an arbitrary decision
on my part, sir. l have my orders.

lt's entirely unnecessary.
We're in no danger here.

We've explained the berthold rays
to you. Can't you understand?

how can l make you understand?

Your instruments show
we're in perfect health.

- We've had no deaths.
- What about your animals?

- We're vegetarians.
- That doesn't answer my question.

Why did all your animals die?

Captain, you stress
very unimportant matters.

We will not leave.

lt's not much further.

You've not explained
the nature of this thing.

lts basic properties are not important.

What is important is
it gives life, peace, love.

What you're describing was once known
in the vernacular as a "happiness pill".

You, as a scientist,
should know that that's not possible.


l was one of the first to find them.
The spores.


- lt shouldn't hurt.
- No, l can't.

- Please don't...
- Not like this. lt didn't hurt us.

l am not like you.

Now. Now you belong to all of us.

And we to you.

There's no need to hide
your inner face any longer.

We understand.

l love you.

l can love you.

Captain's log, supplemental.

We have been ordered to evacuate
the colony on Omicron lll.

However, the colony leader, Elias
Sandoval, has refused all cooperation

and will not listen to any arguments.

Your arguments are valid,
but they do not apply to us.

- You're being unreasonable.
- Nevertheless... Excuse me.

My orders are to remove the colonists.

That's exactly what l intend to do,
with or without your help.

Without, l should think.

Would you like to use
a butterfly net on him?

Captain, we've checked out everything.

lt all seems normal,
except for the absence of animals.

We have orders to evacuate
all colonists to Starbase 27.

l want landing parties
to coordinate the colonists

and prepare them
to transport to the ship.

We'll need
extra accommodations aboard.

Where's Mr Spock and Mr DeSalle?

We haven't seen them
since we began our check.

DeSalle was going to examine
some native plants. Did Spock call in?

No, he didn't. Spock?

See to the landing parties, Mr Sulu.


That one looks like a dragon.
You see the tail and the dorsal spines?

l've never seen a dragon.

l have. On Berengaria Vll.

But l have never stopped
to look at clouds before.

Or rainbows.

l can tell you exactly
why one appears in the sky,

but considering its beauty has always
been out of the question.

Not here.


- Yes, what did you want?
- Spock, is that you?

Yes, Captain. What did you want?

Where are you?

l don't believe l want to tell you.

l don't know what you think you're doing,
but this is an order.

Report back to me in ten minutes. We're
evacuating all colonists to Starbase 27.

- No, l don't think so.
- You don't think so, what?

l don't think so, sir.

Spock, report to me immediately.

Spock, acknowledge.


The frequency is open,
but he doesn't answer.

That didn't sound at all like Spock, Jim.

No... l thought you said
you might like him if he mellowed.

- l didn't say that.
- You said that.

Not exactly. He might be in trouble.

Yes. Take over the landing party detail
and get those colonists aboard.

How will you find Spock?

The frequency will act as a homing
device. Have DeSalle meet you here.

Have the landing party work in teams
of two. l don't want anybody left alone.


Mr Spock.

What are you doing with those things?

l want you to take
a good close look at these, doc.

They're very interesting.

Mr Spock.

Are you out of your mind?

You were told to report to me at once.

- l didn't want to, Jim.
- You...

Yes, l can see that.

Miss Kalomi, come with us to the
settlement to transport up to the ship.

There'll be no evacuation, but perhaps
we should get you straightened out.

Mr Sulu, Mr Spock is under arrest

and he's in your custody
until we get back to the Enterprise.

Very well. Come with me.


Mister Sulu understands, don't you?

Yes, l see now.

Of course we can't remove the colony.
lt would be wrong.

l don't know what these plants are,
or how they work on you,

but you're going back to the settlement

and the colonists
are going aboard the ship.

l can see the captain
is going to be difficult.

Ready to beam up.

Hiya, Jimmy boy.
l've taken care of everything.

All you've got to do is just relax.
Doctor's orders.

- How many did you beam up?
- Must be nigh on 100 by now.

Hey, Doc. l'm ready to energise.
Everything OK with those plants?

- This is the captain. Beam me up.
- Well, sure, if you want.

l most certainly do. Energise.

Lieutenant, put me through
to Admiral Komack at Starfleet.

- l'm sorry, Captain. l can't do that.
- What do you mean? That's an order.

l know it is, Captain,
but all communications are out.

- Out?
- l short-circuited them.

Except for ship-to-surface.
We'll need that for a while.

lt's really for the best, Captain.

Get back to your stations.

- We're transporting down to the colony.
- l said get back to your station.

No, sir.

- This is mutiny, mister.
- Yes, sir. lt is.

Captain's log, stardate 3417.5.

The pod plants have spread spores
throughout the ship,

carried by the ventilation system.

Under their influence, my crew is
deserting to join the Omicron colony

and l can't stop them.

l don't know
why l have not been infected.

Nor can l get Dr McCoy to explain
physical-psychological aspects.

l'm not interested in any
physical-psychological aspects, Jim boy.

We're all perfectly healthy.

l've heard that word a lot.
Everything's perfect.

That's right. That's just what it is.

l'll bet you've even grown
your tonsils back.

Sure enough. Hey, Jim boy.

Y'all ever have a real cold
Georgia-style mint julep?

Look, Bones, l need your help.

Can you run tests, blood samples, to
give us a lead on what these things are?

Who wants to counteract paradise,
Jim boy? McCoy out.

Bones. Bones!

Almost the entire ship
has beamed down.

l'm pleased.
The landing operation is proceeding well.

Where's McCoy?

He went off to create something
called a mint julep. That's a drink.

- Captain, why don't you join us?
- ln your own private paradise?

- The spores have made it that.
- Where did they originate?

lt's impossible to say. They drifted
through space until they landed here.

They thrive on berthold rays.

The plants act as a repository
for thousands of microscopic spores

until they find a human body to inhabit.

ln return, they give you
complete health and peace of mind.

- That's paradise?
- We have no need or want, Captain.

lt's a true Eden, Jim.
There's belonging and love.

No wants, no needs.
We weren't meant for that. None of us.

Man stagnates if he has no ambition,
no desire to be more than he is.

- We have what we need.
- Except a challenge.

You don't understand, Jim.
But you'll come around sooner or later.

Join us, please.

l'm going back to the ship.

Engineering? Scotty?

Biochemistry lab?


ls there anyone on board?
This is the captain.

Captain's log, stardate 3417.7.

Except for myself, all crew
have transported to the planet.


Lieutenant Uhura has sabotaged
the communications station.

l can only contact
the surface of the planet.

The ship can be maintained
in orbit for several months,

but even with automatic controls,
l cannot pilot her alone.

ln effect, l am marooned here.

l'm beginning to realise...

...just how big this ship really is.
How quiet.

l don't know how to get my crew back.

How to counteract
the effect of the spores.

l don't know what l can offer against...


- Enterprise to Mr Spock.
- Yes, Jim, what is it now?

l've joined you. l understand now.

Wonderful, Jim.
When will you beam down?

There are some things l want to pack.

Good. Leila and l will meet you
at the beam down point.





Violent emotions, needs...anger.

Captain's log, supplemental.

l think l've discovered the answer.

But to carry out my plan
entails considerable risk.

Mr Spock is much stronger
than the ordinary human being.

Aroused, his great physical strength
could kill.

But it's a risk l'll have to take.

- Enterprise to Mr Spock.
- Spock here.

- lt's Jim.
- What's keeping you? We're waiting.

l've been packing some things.

l realised there's equipment here
we should have at the settlement.

We can't come back on board
once the last of us has left.

- Do you want me to beam up a party?
- l think you and l can handle it.

- Why don't you beam up now?
- Just a moment.

- lt won't take long. Do you mind?
- l'll wait.

Ready to beam up, Jim.


All right, you mutinous,
disloyal, computerised half-breed,

we'll see about you deserting my ship.

The term "half-breed"
is somewhat applicable.

But "computerised" is inaccurate.

A machine can be computerised,
not a man.

What makes you think you're a man?
You're an overgrown jackrabbit.

Jim, l don't understand.

Of course you don't understand.
You don't have the brains to understand.

lf you'll excuse me.

What can you expect
from a simpering, devil-eared freak,

whose father was a computer
and mother an encyclopaedia?

My mother was a teacher.
My father an ambassador.

Your father was a computer, like his son.
An ambassador from a planet of traitors.

Vulcans never had an ounce of integrity.

- Captain, please don't...
- You're a traitor.

Disloyal to the core,
like the rest of your subhuman race.

And you've got the gall
to make love to that girl.

- That's enough.
- Does she know what she's getting?

A carcass full of memory banks who
should be squatting on a mushroom,

instead of passing himself off as a man.

You belong in the circus, Spock.
Not a starship.

Right next to the dog-faced boy.

Had enough? l didn't realise what it took
to get under that thick hide of yours.

l don't know what
you're so mad about.

lt isn't every first officer who gets
to belt his captain...several times.

You did that to me deliberately.

Believe me, Mr Spock, it was painful
in more ways than one.

The spores. They're gone.

l don't belong any more.

You said they were peaceful.
Violent emotions overwhelm them.

l had to make you angry enough
to shake off their influence.

That's the answer, Mr Spock.

That may be correct, Captain.

But initiating a brawl with 500 crewmen
and colonists is hardly logical.

l had something else in mind.

Can you put together a transmitter to
hook into the communications station

and broadcast over the communicator?

- lt can be done.
- Good. Let's get to work.


Striking a fellow officer
is a court-martial offence.

lf we're both in the brig,
who's going to build the transmitter?

That is quite logical, Captain.

lt's a little early to be counting stars,
Miss Leila.

l'm waiting for Mr Spock
and the captain to transport down.

They had some equipment to be moved.

But he's been so long.
l wish he'd come back.

l think l can fix that for you.


Enterprise. Spock here.

This is Leila.
l borrowed the doctor's communicator.

l was worried something
might have happened to you.

- You are all right, aren't you?
- Yes. l'm quite well.

Can l come aboard?
l've never seen a starship before.

l want to talk to you.

Are you still at the beam down point
and is the doctor there?

Yes to both questions.

Give your communicator
back to Dr McCoy.

You won't need it to beam up.

lt'll take a few moments.
Just wait there. Out.

Mr Spock.

Miss Kalomi is strictly your concern,

but should you talk to her while she's still
under the influence of the spores?

l'll be back shortly, Captain.

You're no longer with us, are you?

- l felt something was wrong.
- lt was necessary.

Come back to the planet with me.
You can belong again.

Come back with me, please.

l can't.

l love you.

l said that six years ago and l can't
seem to stop repeating myself.

On Earth, you couldn't give
anything of yourself.

You couldn't even put
your arms around me.

We couldn't have
anything together there.

We couldn't have anything together
any place else.

But we're happy here. l can't
lose you now, Mr Spock. l can't.

l have a responsibility to this ship.

To that man on the bridge.

l am what l am, Leila.

And if there are self-made purgatories,
then we all have to live in them.

Mine can be no worse
than someone else's.

l have lost you, haven't l?

And not only you, l've lost all of it.

The spores. l've lost them, too.

The captain discovered that strong
emotions destroy the spore influence.

And this is for my good?

Do you mind if l say l still love you?

You never told me if you had
another name, Mr Spock.

You couldn't pronounce it.

They'll not hear this. lt'll be
more a sensation of feeling it.

As though somebody had put
itching powder on their skin.

lt should begin to work
on their nerves in a few minutes.

- Sorry.
- What do you think you're doing?

- l said l was sorry.
- More like you're clumsy.

lf you hadn't got in my way...

Come on. Break it up.

Well, Doctor, l've been thinking about
what sort of work l can assign you to.

What do you mean? l'm a doctor.

Not any more.
We don't need you as a doctor.


Would you like to see how fast
l can put you in a hospital?

l am the leader of this colony.
l'll assign you to work l think is suitable.

Just a minute.

You'd better make me a mechanic,
then l can treat little tin gods like you.

Sorry, Sandoval.
l don't know what made me do that.

We've done nothing here.

No accomplishments, no progress.

Three years wasted.

We wanted to make
this planet a garden.

You can't stay here.
You can't survive without the spores.

After you've cleared at the Starbase,
you could be relocated.

lt depends on what you want.

l think l'd... l think we'd like
to get some work done.

The work we started out to do.

- Enterprise.
- Enterprise. Spock here.

This is McCoy. Sandoval
would like to talk to the captain.

Just a moment.
They're all beginning to call in, Captain.

Rather contritely, l should say.
Sandoval wishes to speak to you.

Put him on the speaker. Kirk here.

Captain, as l understood it, you were
to transport us to Starbase 27.

We'll give you every cooperation.

Start making preparations, Mr Sandoval.

We'll transport your people aboard as
soon as more of our crew checks in.

Well, Jim, l've just examined
the last of the colonists.

They're all in absolutely perfect health.

- A fringe benefit left over by the spores.
- Good.

That's the second time
man's been thrown out of paradise.

No, Bones.
This time we walked out on our own.

Maybe we weren't meant for paradise.

Maybe we were meant to fight our way
through, struggle, claw our way up.

Maybe we can't stroll
to the music of the lute.

We must march to the sound of drums.

Poetry, Captain. Non-regulation.

We haven't heard much from you
about Omicron Ceti lll.

l have little to say about it, Captain.

Except that, for the first time in my life,
l was happy.