Stage Crush (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - Episode #1.10 - full transcript

3, 4 and...

I want to have a baby.
-I want to break up.

The theater wants your play.
-What?

You're a couple?
-No.

Are you suggesting
I be your colleague?

Her partner will be
the same as on TV,

Ofer Marciano.

I'm not signing,
I hate the theater!

Everyone's wearing
mustaches and wigs!

You'll want me back,
but I won't want you.

Okay.
-I won't wait for you. -Okay.



I hate her. -Oh yeah?
Then why did you kiss me?

Big mistake! -It was a mistake
I ever met you. -Oh yeah?

You're pretty, happy,
and you have money.

You're not ready
for a dramatic lead role.

God help me,
how will we tell him?

Yuvi, I'll never leave Reut.

Then what do you want from me?
-You're my lover.

I'm such an idiot...

Dovaleh agreed to come
and save us, he'll be our director.

Let's see what
you've done so far.

Assuming I'm not directing the play,

and I'm not directing the play,

I think I deserve
half of the writing credit.

You really believe
that this play is half yours?



No, it's not half mine,

but I'm half of the play.

I'm sorry, were you a couple?

Don't you have gold shoes?

No, I have these.
You don't like them?

But won't everyone wear
gold or glass shoes to the ball?

It's not a ball, Sara,
it's a premiere, it's...

You watch the play,

then there are cocktails,
and then lots and lots of talking.

Then you stand in the middle

and all the boys
want you.

You refuse them all
by waving your hand, 'No, no'.

Then you see the boy you want
to dance the romantic dance with.

I know what dance
you should dance.

There's no dancing at a premiere.
-Listen to me,

I know what dance
will capture their hearts.

Do what I do.

I have to dance now?

Well?
-Hand.

Like this.

I'm the boy, you're the girl.
-All right.

Foot back.
Now back where it was.

Your foot... no.
-Okay, okay.

Okay.
-Now your other foot forward.

Now back.

Now turn around.

Then walk back.

Clap twice.

Now go like this.

No, like this.
-What am I doing wrong?

Do it more...

As if you're running, yes.

Now go like this.

Did your parents forget you
in the car, kid?

Shit...

Why are you in my car?

I wanted to surprise you.
Shit.

What's the surprise?
That you're in the car?

No...

I wanted to walk up to you
before you got here.

Never mind.
Hold on.

One sec.

If you please.

I...

I want to be your chauffeur
for the premiere.

You're coming to the premiere?

Yes, get in.

And you came to pick me up
in my own car?

You've got style.

Do you want to get in?

Someone's coming to pick me up.

When?

Right about now.

Gili or your mom?

No.

Someone.

Who?

A friend.

Which friend?

A friend of mine.

A new friend?
A friend I know?

A new friend of mine,
a friend.

"A new friend of mine,
a friend."

Okay, just say
you're seeing someone.

I'm seeing someone.
-Okay.

You're seeing someone?
Seeing-seeing?

That was fast.
-It's just the beginning...

it's our second date, I don't know.
Yes, yes. - Okay.

You invited him to the premiere?

A date to the premiere?

I just thought it was...

kind of cool and he...
-Okay...

He was impressed and he likes...

Am I supposed to ask you
who I can bring to the premiere?

I wanted to invite him, it's...

Okay.

Excuse me.
-No problem.

What? What?

No...

So far everything's going

according to my plan.

Tzutz.

What?

There are...

all kinds of things
I want to tell you.

But don't, okay?

Let me, okay?

No, no, no, please don't.

Tzutz.

Give it up.
-I...

Really...
I'm asking you.

Please let me.
-Don't say anything. -I...

No, you'll ruin everything.
-I...

Here's my friend,
here's my friend.

-What's up?
-How are you? -Hi. -Great.

-Oded, this is Tomer.
He's...

Tomer is...

my partner,
he wrote the play with me. -Cool.

Congrats.
Come on, let's go.

You coming with us?
-No, no.

Come with us.
-Yeah, come with us.

No, I have to drop by
my place first.

I have to...

I'll get the...

what I need to get, so...

-We have lots of time,
we'll drop by your place.

Come on.
-I made something for the actors,

I want to give it to them
before the play...

I'll go to my place,
you guys go ahead. -Okay.

Fuck! What the hell
happened here, buddy?

Sorry, man,
I'm not feeling well.

Osi, Osi.
-What, sweetie?

The elastic is too tight.
-Let me see.

It's fine, sweetie,
it's not too tight.

Are you stressed
because of the premiere?

No, it's too tight.
I'm not making this up.

Look, sweetie,
my pants are tight, too,

it just means
they're a good fit.

Bye, sweetie, good luck.

Hey, superstar.

You do realize
the play depends entirely on you?

Why do you have to say that?
-Why?

Because the audience
is coming to see you!

They don't care
if it's your first time on stage.

That's the nature of audiences.
Indifferent.

So show them
what you've got, okay?

How do you feel?

I'm fine, I'm okay, I...

have a really bad stomachache.
-Good.

If nothing hurts,
it would mean you're dead.

Don't worry,
I was right to bet on you.

What did you do, Vera?

Now you'll be okay.

Tell Osi to put a safety pin
on your pants.

Because of the elastic band?

To ward off the Evil Eye from
all the jealous people watching you.

It's a must!

Good luck, Ofka.

Ofer, the audience is here
in 10 minutes. -Fine.

Grab the groundhog
from the grass.

Grab the groundhog from the grass.
-Listen, Maya.

Larry sent the latter a letter later.

Maya, listen.
-Later.

Can't you see I'm warming up?
-Fine, never mind.

Guys, I'm letting the audience in.
-Enough, we heard you!

Hi, you've reached Yuvi,
I can't answer right now,

if it's important,
call me back.

If it's not important, leave me
a message and I probably won't hear it.

I hope you have
a good excuse for disappearing,

because I've never chased
anyone like this.

Today is the premiere
on the stage with the boxes,

which you said was
a metaphor for a garbage dump

and I really hope you're coming
to make fun of me.

Karina, hey.

Hi, Tomer, how are you?
-I'm fine.

I need a ticket.

No, I'm sorry.

What?

No.

I mean...

No.

What do you mean, no?

There are no more freebies, sorry.

What are you talking about, Karina?
I directed this play.

I know, but I was explicitly told,
no more freebies.

Are you kidding me?
Don't you think...

this is an exception?

You can talk to Vera.

Vera?

She's here.

Could you...

talk to Vera?

No.

Okay, fine.

Thank you.
-You're welcome.

Good evening.
-Hi.

What name is
your ticket booked under?

I didn't book a ticket,
I want to buy one.

I hope there are seats left.

For 'One Plus One', right?
-Yes.

Because 'Richard II'
is on tonight, too.

No.
-It got a 5-star review.

A modern contemporary classic.
-No, no,

thank you.
'One Plus One'.

A light comedy, 75 minutes,
no intermission. -That's right.

Great. It's their premiere today,
it's exciting. -Oh yeah?

110 shekels, please.

110 shekels?

You sell them for a 110 shekels?

Do you have a membership card?
-No, no, okay.

Are you a soldier or a student?
-No, just sell me the 45-dollar ticket.

Thanks.

Here you are.

Enjoy.
-Thank you.

Would you mind moving aside?

Sure, sorry.

Thank you.
Oh my god.

I can't believe
how many people are here.

Shall I get us some wine,
so you can get drunk?

Should I?
-Totally.

I brought candy
with noisy wrappers too.

Good.
-You won't mind?

-You look amazing,
I forgot to tell you.

Excuse me, one sec.
-What? -I'll be right back.

I'm sorry.
-No problem.

Mom. -Then drive around
one more time. -Mom...

It's on the left.
-Mom, what are you doing here?

Oh, here she is!

What happened to your mouth?

Now it's dark red,
it'll go away.

Explain to Nehama where it is,
she's lost.

What?
Why is Nehama coming?

She really wanted to see it,
how could I say no?

You weren't supposed to come!
I explicitly said,

I don't want anyone to come
to the first ten shows.

Sweetie...

Nehama, how are you?

Thank you.

Where are you coming from?

Okay, then you're close,
just park in the parking lot.

Park in the parking lot.
Parking lot. Okay.

What a charming young man.
I can tell right away.

How do you know I came with him?
-I saw you walk in.

What's so charming about him?

He's someone
we can start talking about.

Okay.
-One sec.

Yes, Mandy?

In the parking lot.

What's going on?
-They say to park in the parking lot.

But you have a handicap sticker,
what's the problem?

How many people did you invite?

Then call Tziki, he'll explain.

Tziki too...

I don't have the patience.

So will I have to get
on stage at the end?

I was thinking about it
and I don't want to.

Why would you have to get on stage?
Are you in the play?

But maybe at the end,

when you go up to thank me
and everyone else?

Yes, you do.

You and Nehama
and Tziki and Schpitzki,

everyone.
-Why are you so upset?

What did I do to you?
-What did you do to your mouth?

Nehama told me to have them filled
for the premiere.

You got Botox for the premiere,
are you nuts?

And how many people
did you invite?

What is this, my wedding?
-Yes.

And I bought another ten tickets
for my close friends

and I'm not asking you, okay?
-Okay.

And I invited your brothers, too.

Why? Why, Mom?
-Because, sweetheart, we came to watch.

I asked you not to.
-Let me enjoy you sometimes too.

You sit with your guy
and I'll sit with my friends. -Fine.

And we'll see. -I don't know
why I invited him either...

Here's our star!
-Hi.

How are you?
-Don't run off at the end,

I want you on stage with some flowers.
-All right.

This is my mom.
Vera Korkin, CEO of the theater.

Oh, here's the hen that laid the egg.
Nice to meet you.

I'm the hen, hello.
-Listen,

start saving up
for a nursing home,

because you won't be seeing
any money from her.

But maybe some pride.
-Maybe. -Here, have it framed.

Look at all these people.
Who do we have here?

Why did you give him credit?
-Because I wanted to.

You just don't stop.
-Okay, Mom...

You keep him too close.
-Fine.

You'll break down again.
-Mom...

You'll break down and cry.

Hey, lady, listen to me.

I gave him credit to keep him away,

so he can take his credit
and move on.

I'm in a different place.
-You're in the same place.

I'm in a different place.
-You're in the exact same place.

I'm in a different place,
I'm in a different place.

I brought a different guy,

did you see that?
-Yes. -Good.

I won't break down again,
'cause no one will break me.

And this guy won't pick me up either,
okay?

I don't give a flying fuck
about either of them, okay? -Yes.

Thank you.
Happy now?

Yes. -Good,
now go to the box office,

get your tickets, go inside,
sit down and wait for it to start.

Answer Gedalia.
-You answer Gedalia.

Enjoy.

Hey, Gedalia.
Park in the parking lot.

Cheers.
-Cheers.

Is that your mom?
-Of course not.

Don't be stressed, it's all good.
-I'm so nervous. -Sure.

Listen, I have to go backstage
and talk to the actors.

I'm sorry
I keep leaving you alone.

I didn't think I'd be this busy.
-No...

Are you sure it's okay I'm here?
-Of course.

I can leave,
we can meet tomorrow.

No way.
-Seriously, no hard feelings.

No, of course not.
-Really? -Stay, stay.

Okay, -Of course. -Okay.
-Stay right here. -I will.

Ofer. -What?
What are you doing here?

I came to see the play.

Did I invite you?

Do I need an invite from you?

I've been working here
for a 100 years, dummy.

No, I don't like this.
-Who's asking you?

Come on, seriously,

I won't stop thinking
about what you think,

I can't handle this.
-What I think?

What you think of me,
I won't stop thinking

about that.
-What I think of you?

Please, Shlomo,
don't stay for the play.

What if I think,
here comes the little bastard

who's going to steal
all my parts in the theater?

They can all drop dead.

Focus on your partner.

Hey there.
-Oh, hello.

Where is she?
-In her dressing room, where else?

Right. Good luck.
-Thanks, man.

You okay?
-Yeah, yeah.

First call, guys.

Don't forget the safety pin.
-Don't be ridiculous.

Please, God,
may the audience like me

and may I be amazing.

May everyone look at me.

Hi, Buddha.
-What a beautiful bouquet, thank you.

How are you, gorgeous?

Stressed?
-No, not so bad. -Good.

Who did you come with?

My parents are here.

None of your friends?

No,

no one could make it.

You said Yuvi and Avivit
wanted to.

Oh my god, Buddha,
I forgot to tell you. -What?

Yuvi and Avivit got married.

What?
-Can you believe that madman?

They flew to Cyprus to get married.

Isn't that crazy?

I think our wedding
really affected him,

even though he always said
he'd never get married.

Don't you think?

Yeah. -Buddha,
I know you hate him,

but just so you know,

he has really mellowed out..

I don't know,

it's like he has totally changed.

He's been with Avivit
since he was 16,

suddenly he's getting married?

What's going on, Buddha?
What's wrong?

Nothing, nothing.

Why am I babbling on
right before you go on stage?

I'm okay, it's okay, I...

I'm just nervous
about the premiere,

that's all.

You'll be amazing.

Right.

I know.

Good luck, gorgeous.

Have fun.
I'll wait for you outside.

Good luck, Mayinka.
Break a leg.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I don't know what happened,
but it's the first time

you have the face
of a leading role.

You're going to be great tonight.

What's going on here?

Ofer, the place is packed,
we're a hit!

Do you need anything from me?

Ofer...
-Can't you see I'm warming up?

Iris.

I don't want to disturb you,

I just came to give you something
before the play.

This stage is your home now,

so it would be nice
to put it at the entrance.

So you'll remember
it's your home

and you can clean up any mess
before you go in.

I'm...

so grateful

that you're the ones
moving in here.

And when I think about
this whole process of ours,

I wouldn't change a single thing
in this story.

Not a thing.

You're such a sweetheart.

Good luck.
-Thanks, Iris.

Break a leg.

Is Tomer coming?

I don't know.

Hands.

Come, let's hold hands.

Hold hands.
-Okay.

Can I join you?
I was part of the process, too.

Of course, come on.

Wait, let me fix that.
-What is it?

What is it?
-That's it, you're good.

What did you do?
-It's all good.

Don't worry.
-I just fixed the tape.

It keeps coming off...
-I fixed it.

Are you all right?
-Yeah. -Okay.

Soon this plane will be taking off...

Lift your hands up in the air...

You are the pilots.

What? What?
-No, suddenly everyone...

is getting all poetic.
It's okay, I'm sorry.

Iris said it's our home,
you say it's a plane...

Oh, well,
we each have different metaphors.

I guess I wanted
to be a pilot.

I wanted a home.
-That's obvious, Iris.

Guys, five minutes to curtain.

Don't forget,

you are not on automatic pilot,

you need to enjoy the view.

And worst case, you have
a parachute in the event of a crash.

What?

Calm down. Calm down.
-I'm stressed,

stop telling me to calm down.

Come on!

Laugh a little.

Okay, hands in the middle.

Good, very good.
Okay.

Let's fuck 'em!

What?

You don't still say that?

Isn't that what you yell?
-Yes, we do.

We do.
-You do.

I hope I don't get sued now.
-That's what you say? -Yes.

Okay, then.
-All right.

All right.

Let's fuck 'em!

Great.

So what do you do professionally?

Right now...

Gedalia!
Here, here.

This is Gedalia, we were
in the army together.

Mom...
-Oh, here, I'll get up.

Sit together.
-Thanks. Hi, Gedalia.

Are the actors nervous?
-Very.

Will you stay here
or will you have to get up in the middle?

No, I want to see the play
like everyone else.

Like a spy.

Yes, like a spy.
-Hey, sis.

You could've told me you were coming.
-Mom said it was okay.

Mom said...
-Tomer's here too.

Where?

Over there.

Okay.

Oded, I'm sorry,
these are my brothers,

Gili and Razi.
-Hey, what's up?

This turned into a family evening.
-Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.
Tomer's here.

Leave her alone, bro.
-Okay...

Did you know he's here?
-Stop it.

Tomer you wrote the play with?

Yes. -He left her,
so they're not together now.

Really?
Yes, that happens.

Right, so maybe
you'll be together now.

But we're not sure.
-Yes, we don't know yet.

Leave him alone, bro.
-We don't know yet.

Gum? Gum, anyone?
-Mom... -Here.

Tomer! Hey!

Tomer. -Hey, Razi.
-How's it going? -Hi, Dalia.

Hello.
Sorry, this seat is taken.

Mom. -Don't 'Mom' me.
It's Nehama's.

But Nehama's not here.
-She'll be here any minute.

I don't want to have
to get up afterwards.

I promise when we get to the bridge,
I'll get up for Nehama, okay?

She'll be here any minute.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please take your seats.

The play will be starting shortly.

Dalia, do me a favor, I...

Please move over,
I want to talk to Iris.

Not interested.

Dalia, do me a favor.

Not interested.

Tzutz, Tzutz.
-What?

Why are you answering?
-Mom, leave me alone.

Same place.
-Fine.

Exactly the same place.
-All right.

Tzutz.
-What?

I don't want to work
with you anymore.

I want to live with you.

I want to come home.

I love you.

Should we trade places?

No, no.
-No, of course not. -It's fine.

It's not a problem.
-No, no.

Tomer, you want to go back home?

Don't interfere, bro.
-It's okay.

He wants to go back home.
-No, he doesn't.

No, he doesn't.
-No, he doesn't.

See what you did?

But he wants to go back home.
-NO, he doesn't, Razi.

He's feeling emotional and confused,
that's all, okay?

Mom, just for one sec.

I'm not moving.
-For one sec.

I'm not moving.

Listen, we're at a climax right now,

because of the premiere,
so you're feeling emotional,

so you think it's love.

It's not love,
it's a stage crush. -What?

Stage crush,
it's a rush of adrenaline

that makes you feel like you're in love.
-What are you, a social worker?

Why do you always think
you know what I'm feeling?

Most of the time I do
and you don't.

But I do know,
I want to come home.

She doesn't want him back?

Razi, I don't...

Let's talk after the play?

I don't care about the play.

Do you care about anyone?

Can you not interfere?

It's not nice,
you brought a friend. -Okay...

I can leave, it's okay.
-Listen...

Maybe it would be best
if you left.

No, Razi, of course not!
Just one second...

Get up, move.
-I'm not moving. -Get up.

Mom. -Get up.
I want to talk... get up!

I'm not getting up!

Sorry, I'm sorry.

You want me
because you don't have me.

Just like you only wanted Kasha
because she was leaving.

Don't you know anything about yourself?
-I'm learning, I'm learning.

Then come back once you've learned, okay?
Now let's be quiet,

the play is about to begin.

Oded.

Oded...

Oded?
-Yes.

Is this important to you?
-Seriously? -What?

Listen, I really don't want
to get involved

in the story between you two.
-The thing is, this woman

is the story of my life.
-All right...

I don't know what your status is
in life.

I'm divorced.
-Really? So am I. From her.

Don't boast about being divorced,
you never bothered marrying her.

We were together for five years.

And I know now

that I want to come back.
-How dare you say that you know?

What do you think you know?

You know
you won't feel suffocated?

You know you won't want
a different perspective again?

Do you know that you
won't get sick of me in a year?

Do you know...
One second, Dalia.

Do you know that you won't
want to sleep with other men?

You bet I will.
-Of course.

I'm sorry for talking like this.
-Of course you will.

Want me to say ridiculous things?
No problem.

I have no life without you.

I have no reason to live
apart from you.

You're the reason I breathe.
-Shut up.

You're my oxygen.

You're my reason for living.

Well? Well?

There isn't anything I can say now
that will... There isn't.

Tzutz, listen, I think
you should settle for me.

Tzutz?

We'll go home,
we'll sit on our couch,

we'll order food.

I'm dying to settle for you.
I'm dying to!

Oh, here's Nehama.

Now what?

You're sitting in my seat.
-Okay...

Nehama, just sit down,
you're late anyway.

Please turn off
your mobile devices.

Thank you and enjoy the show.

But he said he wanted to go back.
-Sshh, bro, they're starting.

I said that I want to come back.

That would be...

very stupid of me.

Then be a little stupid.

I'm not stupid anymore.

I'm sorry.
-She is stupid.

Tzutz, look.

Our own apartment.

Tzutz.
-What?

Our own apartment.

What do you think?
-It's a good apartment.

You think
we made a mistake?

Tzutz.

You think we made
a mistake, Tzutz?

Tzutz?

Tzutz, did you leave
something behind?

Tzutz, I like the apartment
we chose.

Tzutz, the keys.

Excuse me.
-Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Just breathe, okay?

Take nice even breaths, that's all.

Inhale through your nose.

What's going on?
-I think it's a panic attack.

I'm sorry, I can't.
-Got any Xanax?

I'll go get some water.

Good evening, dear audience.

We have a slight technical problem,
we'll continue shortly.

In any case, I wanted to thank you
very much for coming.

Raise your hand

if you paid full price
for your ticket.

Let's hear it for today's chump!

They're getting a free performance
by Shlomo, so don't worry.

I didn't swallow it.
-Just swallow it.

Ofer, sweetie, look at me.

There's no one there.

Understand?
-Yes.

Just a bunch of old fogies
from the suburbs.

Who cares about them?

I ruined everything, huh?
-Of course not. -I ruined everything.

You made their day.

They'll have a story to tell their friends,
no one cares about the play,

it's no big deal.
-I can't breathe.

What happened?
What's going on?

One sec.
-I want to know what's wrong.

It's an actors' thing.

Talking about lights,

I'll never forget,
in the middle of 'Waiting for Godot',

boom, one of them fell on me.

We waited and waited, Godot never came,
but the ambulance did.

I'm coming to grovel.
-Dovaleh.

I really don't understand.
-Dovaleh...

I ruined everything,
I can't believe it.

Look at me, look at me.

Are you with me? Come on,
let's go back. -No way,

I can't, Tomer.
-Leave him.

No, no, no, I can't.

Come on.
-I'll die out there.

You won't die.
-I'll die. -Come on.

I can't, I can't.
-Yes, you can.

You've got to do today's play.

Just today, okay?

Be terrible, be lousy,
don't be funny, don't be good,

don't be talented, I don't care,
but you have to do it, okay?

We'll replace you tomorrow.

I'll die out there.
-Then die.

Choke and suffocate and die.
So what?

What if I don't remember the text?

Okay, listen, listen.
I...

I'll stand here during the whole play

and Iris will stand on the other side,
okay? -Yes.

Okay.
-Come on.

We know
the whole play by heart.

The whole thing, okay?

If you need help,
look at me or at Iris,

okay?
And we'll give you the text.

And if you need to get
a glass of water or a hug,

that can work too.

Sure, I love being alone on stage.

Wait.

Shit, Ofer.

Is the elastic too tight?

I told my son,
'Come see the play.'

He said, 'Forget it, Dad,
the theater's dead.'

Yet what's happening here is
as alive as it gets.

and you're the first to discover
this wonderful, magical thing.

I'm alive!
-Oh! Unbelievable.

One came back to life.

Applause.

Ladies and gentlemen...
-You know what helped him?

The Xanax.
-Of course. -Of course.

...to start again
the play 'One Plus One'.

Give a lot of love
to two young actors

who are the future of Israeli theater.
-There's Reut.

Maya Gutman and Ofer Marciano!

I don't think I love him.

That's okay.

I'm going to the other side.
-Okay. Tzutz...

What?

What do you say?

About what?

Will you settle for me?

You jerk.

Ready?
-Yes.

Let's go.
-Rub your feet.

Right foot forward.

Gimme a kiss.

Tzutz, look.

What?
-Our own apartment.

What do you think?

Yeah, it's ours.
It's a good apartment.

You think we made a mistake?

About the apartment?

About moving in together.

Do you regret it?

No, do you?

Yes.

What?
-I'm used to living alone.

Listen,

we're like roommates
who sleep together.

I can relate to that.
-Then let's mark our territory.

Okay, what should I do?
Pee around a little?

No, but we need a constitution,

let's make some rules.

Rule number one -

If you encounter
one of my shirts on the floor,

don't touch it.

There's thought behind it,
I'm the only one who can move it.

Whoever doesn't change
the toilet paper roll

is to blame for whatever happens to him.
-If anyone suspects that the milk

has expired, throw it away

before the other one drinks it.

Hair may clog the shower drain
from time to time,

don't panic, dude,
it'll be taken care of.

No one is calling me 'dude'
in this house.

Why not? It's funny.
-I don't think so.

Agreed.

What now?

We put things away.
-After that?

We live here.

Two, three and...