St. Elsewhere (1982–1988): Season 1, Episode 21 - Baron von Munchausen - full transcript

TONIGHT ON ST. ELSEWHERE.
NOW I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

THE ONLY WAY WE'RE GONNA KNOW IS TO OPEN
HIM UP AND EXPLORE. LET'S GET ON WITH IT.

IF WE DON'T FIND ANYTHING? WE
SEW HIM BACK UP AND THAT'S IT.

I DIDN'T WANNA COME HERE.

AND, FRANKLY, I HAVE NOTHING
IN COMMON WITH YOU PEOPLE.

WHAT IS IT IN MY PERSONALITY
THAT BUGS PEOPLE?

YOU'RE REALLY A
CLOSED, NARROW-MINDED,

JUDGMENTAL HUMAN BEING.

- WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?
- WE GOT AN ARREST.

- OPEN UP THE CHEST.
- SOMETHING WENT WRONG.

BECAUSE EVER SINCE YOU DID YOUR FIRST
SOLO, YOU'VE BEEN DYING TO CUT AGAIN.



[Making Racing Noises]

HEY, HEY, HEY. HOLD IT RIGHT
THERE, FELLAS. COME HERE.

SIT DOWN OVER HERE.

I THINK THIS IS GONNA
MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THESE
QUIET, CAREFREE NIGHTS?

MY METABOLISM THRIVES ON CHAOS.

INACTIVITY BREEDS DISCONTENT.

JUST TRY TO RELAX.

I'M GONNA GIVE YOU SOME DEMEROL, AND
WE'RE GONNA TRY THIS AGAIN IN 20 MINUTES.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT PETER
WHITE? YEAH, HE'S IN BAD SHAPE.

WESTPHALL READ HIM THE RIOT ACT. TOLD
HIM TO STAY HOME FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.

AND SAID HE HAD TO START
A DRUG REHAB PROGRAM.

THAT'S DEPRESSING. CAN'T WE
TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE?

SURE. HOW ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE?



WAS MR, TEPPER'S
NECK MASS BIOPSIED?

WELL, THE PATIENT HAS HAD FOUR OR FIVE
FIBROMAS REMOVED OVER THE PAST SIX MONTHS.

I SEE THAT. DOES HE HAVE ANY
HISTORY OF NEUROLOGICAL DISORDERS?

OTHER THAN DIFFUSE
BONE PAIN, HE'S COMPLAINED

OF WEAKNESS IN THE
LOWER EXTREMITIES.

ALL RIGHT. HAVE YOU ORDERED
A SKELETAL SURVEY? NO.

I THINK A SKELETAL SURVEY IS IN ORDER AND
PROBABLY A BONE SCAN. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- YES, SIR.
- DR. CHANDLER,
HOW'S MRS. KRANZ?

UH, EXCELLENT. VITALS ARE STABLE.
SHE'S ABLE TO HOLD DOWN HER FOOD.

IS SHE STILL CRAVING PIZZA?
NO, NOW IT'S CHINESE FOOD.

MOO GOO GAI PAN. ALL RIGHT.

DR. WADE, WHAT WAS THE
ETIOLOGY ON MR. EVANS'S FLANK PAIN?

HE PASSED A KIDNEY STONE.
IT'S BEEN SENT FOR ANALYSIS.

I'M JUST CONCERNED ABOUT
WHY HIS AMYLASE LEVEL IS SO HIGH.

RIGHT. EXCUSE ME, DR. WESTPHALL.

DR. BENZYCK CALLED. HE
CAN'T MAKE YOUR MEETING.

OH, DAMN. IS HE AT HOME,
DO YOU KNOW? NO, BETH ZION.

IS HE WORKING? NO, HIS
WIFE JUST HAD A BABY.

BAD TIMING? THE WORST.

MR. RIZZO, HI. OH, BACK SO SOON?

HOW ARE YOU FEELING? EH, SO-SO.

HOW MUCH? IT'S 98.7.

IT'S DOWN FROM 103 AN HOUR AGO.

HUH. THANK YOU, JUAN.
YEAH, THANKS A LOT.

SO, WHAT'S THE STORY?
AM I DEAD OR ALIVE?

I SAW YOUR LAB RESULTS
FROM THIS MORNING.

THE CORTISOL WAS
WITHIN NORMAL LIMITS.

THYROID FUNCTION
STUDIES PENDING. BUT?

WELL, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S CAUSING
THE FLUCTUATIONS IN YOUR TEMPERATURE,

OR THE LOSS OF WEIGHT
OR THE CONSTANT HUNGER.

THINK IT COULD BE SOMETHING
WITH THE PANCREAS?

MIGHT BE. YOUR FASTING
BLOOD SUGAR IS IN THE LAB.

ANYBODY IN YOUR
FAMILY HAVE DIABETES?

NO. SO, YOU THINK THAT SOMETHING COULD
BE THROWING MY SUGAR OUT OF WHACK, HUH?

IT'S POSSIBLE.

SOMETHING LIKE SOME KIND OF
GROWTH OR TUMOR OR SOMETHING?

MM, I REALLY CAN'T SAY
AT THIS POINT, MR. RIZZO.

[Chuckles, Sighs]

VIETNAM, 1968. ME AND MY
BUDDY ARE IN THE THICK OF IT.

NOISE IN THE BUSHES, "THINK
IT COULD BE CHARLIE?" I SAYS.

"COULD BE," HE SAYS.

THAT WAS THE LAST
THING HE EVER SAID.

I'M NOT TRYING TO BE
EVASIVE. OKAY, OKAY.

JUST TELL ME, ARE YOU GONNA GO IN AND PROBE
AND POKE AND SEE WHAT'S COOKING OR WHAT?

SOME EXPLORATORY
SURGERY MAY BE NECESSARY.

WELL, I CAN'T
SAY THAT I LIKE IT.

BUT, UM, IF THAT'S WHAT
YOU GOTTA DO, THEN DO IT.

NOTHING WAS EVER SOLVED BY
RUNNING AWAY FROM THINGS, HUH?

MR. RIZZO, IF I ONLY HAD A
FEW MORE PATIENTS LIKE YOU...

[Chuckles] GO ON.

[Woman On P.A.] DR. KOCHAR.
DR. V.J. KOCHAR, 2-5-3-6.

[Knocking]

AH, DONALD. WE MISSED
YOU AT DOUBLES YESTERDAY.

I WAS HAVING MY WEEKLY
RENDEZVOUS WITH DR. CHEGLEY.

HE REMINDS ME OF MRS.
GALANDO, MY FOURTH

GRADE SCHOOL TEACHER...
STRICT DISCIPLINARIAN.

HE'S DETERMINED TO SMACK MY
MISBEHAVING IMMUNE SYSTEM BACK INTO LINE.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING? EXCELLENT.

JUST GOING OVER THE
RESULTS OF MY TESTS.

I WOULD SAY MY NUMBERS
ARE EXTREMELY BULLISH.

THAT'S TERRIFIC.

YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT,
DONALD, ABOUT THE CHEMO.

MY CANCER'S DOWN. HOPEFULLY OUT.

IS THERE SOMETHING
I CAN DO FOR YOU?

YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT, THERE IS.
I'VE BEEN ASKED TO GIVE A SERMON...

TO THE INCOMING MED STUDENTS IN
THE SIX-YEAR PROGRAM OVER AT B.U.

HOW CAN I BE OF SERVICE?

I ASKED DR. BENZYCK OVER AT BETH
ZION IF HE COULD HELP ME OUT TODAY.

I WAS THINKING OF MIXING MEDICINE
AND SURGERY. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

BUT HIS WIFE DECIDED
TO HAVE A BABY.

OH, I SUPPOSE THAT CALLS
FOR A CONGRATULATIONS.

I SUPPOSE. LEAVES
YOU A MAN SHORT.

RIGHT. ARE YOU FREE?

I HAD PROMISED KATHARINE TO HAVE
LUNCH WITH HER AT LOCKE-OBER...

TO CELEBRATE MY
NEW LEASE ON LIFE.

BUT WE... WE CAN ALWAYS
MANAGE THAT SOME OTHER TIME.

NO, NO, THAT'S IMPORTANT.
I WOULDN'T ASK YOU THAT.

HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF ASKING MARK?

[Chuckles]

[Ehrlich] IT WAS
INCREDIBLE, JACK.

I'M TALKING ABOUT A SMALL
BOWEL RESECTION, OKAY?

AND I PULLED THAT BABY OFF IN UNDER
TWO HOURS. EVEN CRAIG WAS BOWLED OVER.

THAT'S GREAT. YEAH, I
REALLY CAUGHT THAT ONE.

TWO THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT IN
LIFE, HUH? YOUR WORK AND YOUR WIFE.

ONE DOWN, ONE TO GO.
OKAY, NOW WHO IS THIS GUY?

ANTHONY RIZZO.
HE'S A MEAT PACKER.

WHAT DO YOU SEE? NOTHING.

AS FAR AS HIS ABDOMINAL SERIES
GOES, HE'S AS CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.

THERE'S NO AIR FLUID
LEVELS. THERE'S NO

OBSTRUCTIONS. WHAT DO
YOU THINK WE SHOULD DO?

HEY, I'M INTO STAINLESS STEEL.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA SUGGEST.

YOU THINK WE SHOULD OPEN
HIM UP? DEPENDS ON WHO YOU ASK.

IF YOU ASK ME, I SAY YES.

WHY? BECAUSE WE DON'T
KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM.

THE ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT
IS TO GO IN AND LOOK AROUND.

YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT AS IF RIZZO'S GONNA
DROP ON US IN THE NEXT HOUR OR SO.

HIS VITALS ARE FINE. ALL HIS
LABS ARE WITHIN NORMAL LIMITS.

BESIDES, IF YOU DO OPERATE,
IT WON'T BE THE FIRST TIME.

YOU SHOULD SEE THE
SCARS ON THIS GUY.

WELL, YOU MIND IF I
TOOK A LOOK AT HIM?

SURE. OKAY.

GO AHEAD. I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT
NOW, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CUT.

OH, NO, YOU THINK I'M GONNA GIVE
YOU TWO BUCKS FOR THAT? OH, NO.

[Calmer Voice] YES, I
THINK THAT YOU'D BETTER.

[Manic Voice] OH, NO. WHAT
ARE YOU GONNA DO IF I DON'T?

[Chuckles]

[Calm Voice] I'M GONNA TELL THE
GUARD, AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA SEE.

THIS IS AMAZING.

JUST ANOTHER DAY
IN THE NAKED CITY.

MAYBE THERE'D BE LESS
TROUBLE IF WE WERE ALL NAKED.

I MEAN, WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO
WORRY ABOUT CONCEALED WEAPONS.

SOMETHING I CAN DO FOR
YOU, KATHY? NO, THANK YOU.

HOW IS WAYNE? OH,
WAYNE. UM, HE'S FINE.

I HEARD THE TWO OF YOU ARE SEEING
EACH OTHER. WE'RE NOT SEEING EACH OTHER.

UM, WE'VE GONE OUT A
FEW TIMES. I DON'T FEEL BAD.

GOOD. I FEEL A CERTAIN GLOW.

LIKE NOW THERE'S A CONNECTION
BETWEEN YOU AND ME. GET AWAY FROM ME!

I'M SURE THAT... EXCUSE ME.

GET AWAY FROM ME. GET
AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY!

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM
HERE? HE WANTS TO SIT DOWN.

IS THERE A REASON HE CAN'T SIT
HERE, MA'AM? NO ONE ELSE IS USING IT.

[Calm Voice] I'M SORRY.

I WAS JUST SAVING THIS
SEAT FOR MY FRIEND.

BUT I'LL LEAVE IF
YOU WANT ME TO.

NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

SIR, WHY DON'T
YOU SIT OVER HERE?

[Manic Voice] OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH...

HE'S SUCH A SENSITIVE FELLA.

WAYNE? NO, WARREN APPLEGATE.

OH. SOME PEOPLE
THINK WE'RE A MISMATCH,

BUT ACTUALLY WE'RE
VERY COMPATIBLE.

WARREN APPLEGATE IN DERMATOLOGY?

WE'RE THE CORRECT IMBALANCE.
HE IS WHAT I AM NOT AND VICE VERSA.

THAT'S FOR SURE. WARREN'S
VERY SOOTHING AND STABILIZING.

LIKE MR. ROGERS.
SOUNDS STABILIZING.

SHIRLEY, WE SHOULD
DOUBLE-DATE. DOUBLE-DATE?

UH, YOU MEAN THE FOUR OF US?

ALL THAT INTERACTION
AND SOCIAL INTERCOURSE,

JUST THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES.

WELL, YEAH. UM, WE'LL
HAVE TO DO IT... SOMETIME.

HOW ABOUT TONIGHT? TONIGHT?

NONE OF US ARE ON
CALL. I'VE CHECKED.

WELL, OKAY.

BUT I HAVE TO ASK WAYNE. YOU
KNOW, IN CASE HE'S MADE OTHER PLANS.

LET'S TALK IT OVER AT LUNCH.

OKAY. OKAY.

♪ MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB ♪

THAT'S A TALENTED KID.

I DON'T THINK TERRY IS
SUITED FOR A CAREER IN

SURGERY. I'D LIKE TO
PUSH HIM INTO MEDICINE.

WHY IS HE SO HELL-BENT ON
SURGERY? WELL, IT'S IN THE FAMILY.

HIS OLD MAN IS A
SURGEON, YOU KNOW?

KEEPING UP WITH FAMILY EXPECTATIONS.
WOULD YOU, UH, TALK TO TERRY?

MAYBE I SHOULD TALK TO
THE OLD MAN. EVEN BETTER.

OLIVER, HOW ARE YOU?
MARK, CAN I TALK TO YOU?

I HEAR BENZYCK'S WIFE THREW
A WRENCH IN YOUR PLANS TODAY.

SHE REALLY DID. THAT'S WHY I WAS LOOKING
FOR YOU. I WAS HOPING YOU COULD HELP ME.

WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK ME IN THE FIRST PLACE?
YOU'VE HAD THIS TALK SCHEDULED FOR WEEKS.

ALL RIGHT, MARK. I JUST DIDN'T
THINK IT WAS YOUR CUP OF TEA.

IT'S NOT. THIS AFFIRMATIVE ACTION
CRAP DOESN'T HOLD ANY WATER WITH ME.

IT IS NOT AFFIRMATIVE
ACTION, MARK. I KNOW, I KNOW.

IT CUTS THE COST OF A
MEDICAL EDUCATION. IT DOES.

BUT IF THEY'RE NOT CAREFUL,
IT'LL CUT THE QUALITY TOO.

ALL RIGHT, HERE'S WHAT I THINK.

I THINK IT'S VERY IMPORTANT FOR THESE
KIDS TO SPEND SOME TIME IN THE HOSPITALS...

AND IN THE AREAS
WHERE THEY COME FROM.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO GET ACROSS.
NOW, A MAN OF YOUR STATURE COULD HELP ME.

OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

VICTOR BENZYCK HAS
THE LISP OF AN ADDER.

I MEAN, HE CAN HARDLY TALK TO A
PATIENT, MUCH LESS A GROUP OF PEOPLE.

WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO ASK
HIM? I WASN'T THINKING. I'M SORRY.

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU WEREN'T. ALL
RIGHT, ARE YOU GONNA STEP IN AND PINCH-HIT?

LOOK, DONALD, I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU
OUT, BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS...

THAT THERE'S NO CHEMISTRY BETWEEN
ME AND THOSE LOW-INCOME KIDS.

THEY'RE VERY BRIGHT. IT DOESN'T
HAVE TO DO WITH INTELLIGENCE.

IT HAS TO DO WITH
TASTE AND CULTURE.

ALL RIGHT, NOW I'M IN A BIND,

AND YOU'D BE BAILING ME OUT AND IT
WOULD BE A HUGE PERSONAL FAVOR.

WELL, IF YOU PUT IT THAT WAY, HOW
CAN I REFUSE? ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

12:30, AND I'LL DRIVE. YEAH.

[Man] WELL, IT ALL
STARTED ON THE WEEKENDS.

BEFORE I KNEW IT,
IT WAS EVERY DAY,

AND I WAS DROPPING
THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS A MONTH.

YOU KNOW, THE FUNNY THING IS,

I DIDN'T THINK I WAS
DOING ANYTHING WRONG.

THAT WAS EVEN BEFORE
I STARTED FREEBASING.

COCAINE BECAME MY BEST FRIEND.

MY CAREER WENT OUT THE WINDOW,
ALONG WITH MY WIFE AND MY HOME.

AND THAT'S WHEN I
DECIDED TO COME HERE.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN CLEAN?

TWENTY DAYS, PAUL.

I, UH, GRADUATE TOMORROW.

OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL, STUART.

GRAB A SEAT.

STUART'S LUCKY.

ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT
THAT EASY TO QUIT.

YOU'VE GOTTA
CONSTANTLY BE ON GUARD...

FOR THOSE MOMENTS WHEN
YOU FEEL THE MOST SUSCEPTIBLE,

WHEN YOU FEEL THE NEED TO
TAKE YOUR OWN SPECIAL DRUG.

NAN, THIS IS YOUR
FIRST TIME WITH US.

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?

UM, CODEINE.

NOW, JUST BEFORE YOU FELT
THE NEED TO TAKE THE CODEINE,

WHAT WERE YOU USUALLY DOING?

WELL, I WAS... I WAS AT HOME.

GO ON.

LAST WINTER, I HAD A COLD.

I CAN'T TAKE PILLS, SO MY DOCTOR
PRESCRIBED CODEINE COUGH MEDICINE.

I DIDN'T REALIZE UNTIL WAY
AFTER THE COLD WAS OVER...

THAT I... I WAS STILL
TAKING THE STUFF.

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU
NEEDED THE CODEINE?

UM...

AFTER... AFTER MY HUSBAND WENT OFF
TO WORK AND THE KIDS LEFT FOR SCHOOL,

I'D FIND MYSELF WANDERING FROM
ROOM TO ROOM IN THAT BIG HOUSE OF OURS.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO WITH MYSELF.

I WAS... I WAS ALL ALONE.

[Sobbing]

IT'S ALL RIGHT, NAN.

WE'VE ALL CRIED IN THIS
ROOM. GO AHEAD. LET IT OUT.

YES, PETER. THIS IS
PETER'S SECOND DAY.

UH...

ALL RIGHT, I GOT A PROBLEM.

I, UH...

THIS IS CRAZY. I GOTTA GO.

ACCORDING TO THE ABDOMINAL ULTRASOUND,
MR. RIZZO, YOUR PANCREAS IS FINE.

BUT YOU'VE GOT HYPOGLYCEMIA.

WE'RE STARTING 72-HOUR FASTING
GLUCOSE AND INSULIN LEVELS.

THIS IS DR. EHRLICH.
HE'S A SURGICAL RESIDENT.

OH. NO, I ONLY ASKED
HIM FOR A CONSULT.

DON'T TELL ME. DON'T WORRY.

THEY DON'T LET US OPERATE ANYMORE
UNLESS THE PATIENT IS UNCONSCIOUS.

[Laughing] YOU TWO GUYS,
LIKE A REGULAR TAG TEAM, HUH?

GORGEOUS GEORGE AND BOBO
BRAZIL. ARE YOU A WRESTLING FAN?

FAN? COME ON. I
PRACTICALLY LIVE THERE.

MY COUSIN, RALPH... HE'S
ANNOUNCER DOWN AT THE GARDEN.

YOU EVER MEET BRUNO SAMMARTINO?

ARE YOU KIDDING? ME AND BRUNO...

[Speaking Italian]

WELL, ANYWAY, I'M GONNA
WANNA HAVE A LOOK AT YOU HERE.

OH, SURE, THAT'S WHAT ALL
THE SURGEONS SAY, HUH?

OH, BOY, YOU WEREN'T KIDDING.
YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH IT ALL RIGHT.

THEY TOOK YOUR APPENDIX
OUT? YEAH, AUGUST 11, 1978.

WOKE UP WITH CRAMPS, YOU KNOW.

THOUGHT IT WAS FROM THIS
FISH JOINT DOWN ON THE PIER.

FRESH CATCH OF THE DAY, RIGHT? SURE.
SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH THE SCAMPI.

WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?

OH, THAT ONE.

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY, 1976.

I LOST 50 BUCKS ON THE COWBOYS.
DAMN THAT BRADSHAW, HUH?

I HAD A STINGING PAIN RIGHT
AFTER THE GAME. THEY WENT IN.

THEY HAD TO TAKE
DOWN SOME ADHESIONS.

OKAY, I WANNA FEEL YOUR
ABDOMEN NOW. TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

[Inhales] LET IT OUT.

[Exhales] JUST RELAX.

FEELING FOR MASSES,
HUH? THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

WHERE'D YOU LEARN YOUR
MEDICINE? OH, YOU PICK IT UP.

UNFORTUNATELY. [Chuckles]

YOU KNOW, I DON'T FEEL
ANYTHING ABNORMAL HERE.

AMAZING.

YOUR TEMPERATURE'S BACK UP TO
102. AN HOUR AGO IT WAS NORMAL.

UH, SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

WE'RE STILL IN
THE TALKING STAGE.

AH, YOU WANNA GO
INSIDE, DON'T YOU?

WE MAY HAVE TO DO SOME EXPLORATORY
SURGERY TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON,

IF YOUR ANGIOGRAM IS NORMAL.

HMM. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL, IT'S CERTAINLY
ONE POSSIBILITY.

STORY OF MY LIFE.

IF THAT'S WHAT IT'S GOTTA BE,
THEN THAT'S WHAT IT'S GOTTA BE.

LET'S GET IT OVER WITH SO I CAN
GET OUTTA HERE. WHAT DO YOU SAY?

NOTHING'S DEFINITE
YET, MR. RIZZO.

[Scoffs] IT'S LIKE
FRICK AND FRACK.

YOU GUYS ARE A COUPLE OF
REGULAR POLITICIANS, RIGHT? [Chuckles]

GONNA NEED ANOTHER URINE
SAMPLE. AH, NO PROBLEM.

BYE. SEE YOU LATER. OKAY.

[Woman On P.A.] MRS.
PHILLIPS TO ADMITTING.

MRS. PHILLIPS TO ADMITTING.

SO, CONSULT. NICE GUY, HUH?

YEAH. HOW ABOUT HIS ABDOMEN?

WELL, IT'S HARD TO TELL. IF THERE'S
A TUMOR, IT MAY NOT BE PALPABLE,

ESPECIALLY IF IT'S
ENDOCRINE IN ORIGIN.

WE SHOULD OPEN HIM
UP AND LOOK AROUND.

I DON'T KNOW. IT JUST DOESN'T
FIT TOGETHER SOMEHOW.

HIS TESTS ARE NEGATIVE EXCEPT FOR
FLUCTUATIONS IN TEMPERATURE AND LOW SUGAR.

I WANNA THINK ABOUT IT AND
WAIT FOR SERUM INSULIN LEVELS.

SPOKEN LIKE A REAL INTERNIST.

UH, MR. RIZZO, YEAH, IN 405.

HE'S GONNA BE GIVING
ME ANOTHER URINE SAMPLE.

OKAY, I'LL SEND SOMEONE
DOWN. THANK YOU. OH.

WHAT? WOULD YOU GET ME A
TEMPERATURE ON HIM EVERY HOUR?

YEAH, I'D BE DELIGHTED TO.

OKAY. OKAY. THANK YOU.

IS HE ALLERGIC TO
PENICILLIN? UM, NO.

ANY OTHER DRUGS?
NO, NOT THAT I KNOW OF.

HEY, GIVE ME THAT, PLEASE.

HAS HE HAD ANY
RECENT ILLNESSES? NO.

HAS HE HAD ANY COMPLAINTS
LATELY? FATIGUE? NO.

HAS HE BEEN EATING
NORMALLY? WELL, NO...

PUT THAT DOWN!

COME ON, WAYNE, WHAT'S THE
BIG DEAL? WE'LL GO OUT WITH THEM.

WE'LL GET SOME FOOD. WE'LL
SEE A MOVIE MAYBE. THAT'LL BE IT.

LOOK, I CAN THINK OF PLENTY
OF THINGS I'D RATHER DO...

THAN DOUBLING WITH CATHY
MARTIN AND WARREN APPLEGATE.

LIKE GETTING MY TEETH
DRILLED. AW, HE'S NOT A BAD GUY.

THAT'S RIGHT. HE'S A NERD.
HE'S THE KIND OF GUY...

THAT HAS ONE OF THOSE PLASTIC THINGS IN HIS
SHIRT POCKET WITH PENS AND PENCILS IN IT.

"HELLO, WAYNE. WHAT A
LOVELY, LOVELY DAY, WAYNE."

USED TO BE SHE JUST
WORKED WITH STIFFS.

I WAS ABLE TO PUT HER
OFF FOR NOW, BUT SHE

WANTS US TO MEET FOR
LUNCH IN THE CAFETERIA.

YOU REALLY DON'T LIKE ME, DO
YOU, SHIRLEY? COME ON, YOU'LL SEE.

WE'LL HAVE A GOOD TIME. I USED TO
SLEEP WITH HER ALL OVER THE HOSPITAL.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.
I HAVE A HISTORY TOO.

WAYNE, THIS IS AN
OVERTURE OF FRIENDSHIP.

OKAY, OKAY, I CAN
HANDLE IT IF YOU CAN.

DON'T WORRY, I CAN HANDLE IT.

OH!

OH, NO. WHAT?

THAT WOMAN OVER THERE. SHE'S
BEEN WAITING ALL MORNING. OH, TERRIFIC.

MY MOTHER ALWAYS WANTED ME TO BE A TV
WEATHERMAN, AND I JUST LAUGHED AT HER.

[Woman On P.A.]
MR. FOSTER, 4-6-2-3.

SORRY, MA'AM, BUT THIS
WOMAN WAS SICK BEFORE YOU.

HI. I'M DR. FISCUS. WHAT
SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?

MY STOMACH HURTS.
WELL, THAT'S NO GOOD.

BUT YOU'RE IN LUCK. THIS WEEK WE'RE
RUNNING A SPECIAL ON ABDOMINAL DISTRESS.

THAT INCLUDES PARTS, LABOR, A
FREE CHECKUP OF ALL VITAL SYSTEMS,

A FIVE-YEAR, 50,000 MILE
WARRANTY, WHICHEVER COMES FIRST.

SO, IF YOU WILL JUST STEP IN HERE,
WE'LL SEE WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS.

HOW LONG HAS YOUR
STOMACH BEEN HURTING YOU?

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, THAT'S PRETTY GENERAL, ISN'T IT? I
MEAN, A DAY? TWO DAYS? A WEEK? A MONTH?

SINCE YOM KIPPUR? WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW. A WHILE.

OKAY, A WHILE. ANY DIARRHEA,
VOMITING, CONSTIPATION?

ANY NAUSEA? HAVE
YOU HAD A FEVER?

MISSED A PERIOD?
ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

IT HURTS ALL OVER HERE.

[Sobbing] OKAY, IS IT A
DULL PAIN OR A SHARP PAIN?

IS IT THERE ALL THE
TIME? IT JUST HURTS.

ALL RIGHT. ARE YOU ON ANY
MEDICATION? HAVE YOU TAKEN ANY DRUGS?

I DON'T TAKE DRUGS.

GOOD FOR YOU. OKAY, THEN,
WHY DON'T WE JUST TAKE A PEEK.

I'LL HAVE MY LOVELY
ASSISTANT DRAW THE CURTAIN,

AND YOU WOULDN'T
MIND LYING BACK ON THE

TABLE, WOULD YOU, AND
UNBUTTONING YOUR BLOUSE?

SHIRLEY?

DON'T YOU TOUCH ME! I'M JUST
GOING TO HELP YOU, THAT'S ALL.

DON'T YOU LAY A HAND
ON ME! OH, COME ON NOW.

COME ON. JUST RELAX.
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

NO. JUST TELL HER
TO LEAVE ME ALONE!

OKAY, CALL UP TO PSYCH AND TELL
THEM WE GOT SOMEONE FOR THEM.

WE'LL PUT HER IN RESTRAINTS
SO SHE DOESN'T HURT HERSELF.

MRS. ABERNATHY, WHY DON'T
YOU COME BACK HERE NOW?

EVERYTHING'S GOING TO
BE ALL RIGHT. COME ON. NO!

EVERYTHING'S
ALL RIGHT. [Yelling]

[Westphall] WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS
PROBABLY EXPLAINING THE OBVIOUS TO YOU.

THERE IS, IN FACT, AN URGENT
NEED IN INNER-CITY HOSPITALS,

LIKE ST. ELIGIUS, COMMUNITIES
LIKE ROXBURY, SOUTHIE,

FOR AFFORDABLE,
SKILLED MEDICAL CARE.

AND WE HOPE THAT WHEN YOU FINISH
THIS PROGRAM AND YOUR TRAINING,

THAT YOU WILL SERIOUSLY CONSIDER CAREERS
IN THE AREAS WHERE YOU'RE NEEDED THE MOST.

[Man] DR. WESTPHALL? EXCUSE ME.

BEFORE WE OPEN THIS UP FOR
QUESTIONS, I WOULD LIKE VERY MUCH...

FOR YOU TO HEAR FROM OUR CHIEF OF
SURGERY AT ST. ELIGIUS, DR. MARK CRAIG.

MARK? THANK YOU. WE'RE
RUNNING A LITTLE LATE HERE,

BUT I WANNA TOSS IN MY TWO CENTS
AND ECHO DR. WESTPHALL'S FINE WORDS.

MY SON IS GRADUATING FROM OHIO STATE IN
JUNE, SO I THINK I CAN RELATE TO YOU ALL.

YOUR COMMUNITIES NEED YOU,

AND TO SERVE THEM IN A MEDICAL
CAPACITY IS A PRIVILEGE LIKE NO OTHER.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

EXCUSE ME, DOCTOR. YES?

HOW MUCH MONEY
DO YOU MAKE A YEAR?

MORE THAN THE MAYOR,
BUT LESS THAN DR. J.

[Laughter] DO WE HAVE
THE SAME OPPORTUNITY...

TO MAKE THAT KIND OF
MONEY IN A ROXBURY CLINIC?

NO, YOU DON'T. I
DIDN'T THINK SO.

UH, IS YOUR SON GONNA BE, QUOTE, PRIVILEGED
TO WORK IN A COMMUNITY LIKE THIS?

OKAY, LET'S TAKE
OFF THE GLOVES, HMM?

LET ME TELL YOU. I DIDN'T
WANNA COME HERE...

BECAUSE I FIGURED IT WOULD
BE AN EXERCISE IN FUTILITY.

AND, FRANKLY, I HAVE NOTHING
IN COMMON WITH YOU PEOPLE.

MY ANCESTORS CAME
OFF THE MAYFLOWER.

MY GRANDFATHER WAS A
DISTINGUISHED SURGEON,

AS WAS MY FATHER AND MYSELF.

NOW WHY WOULD
YOU FOR ONE SECOND...

THINK THAT MY SON WOULD SET UP
PRACTICE IN ROXBURY OR CHARLESTON?

NOW COME OFF OF IT. HE'S NOT CONNECTED
WITH THOSE PLACES, BUT YOU ARE.

NOW, PERSONALLY, I DON'T BLAME
YOU IF YOU TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN.

BUT IF YOU DO, NOTHING
IS GONNA CHANGE.

NOT FOR THE BETTER.

YOU ARE THE FUTURE
OF YOUR COMMUNITIES,

NOT ME.

SO PUT THAT IN YOUR
PIPE AND SMOKE IT...

BEFORE YOU START TOSSING OUT A
LOT OF WISEASS QUESTIONS TO ME.

THAT'S ALL. [Man] DR. CRAIG.

IF YOU FEEL THAT WAY, WHY
DO YOU STAY AT ST. ELIGIUS?

BECAUSE I COULDN'T
FIND A BETTER JOB.

[Applause]

OKAY, ANTHONY. NOW THAT
DIDN'T HURT A BIT, DID IT?

YOU'RE RIGHT, IT
HURT A LOT. ANYWAY...

THAT'S WHAT THEY USED TO TELL
US TO SAY IN NURSING SCHOOL.

WELL, YOU DO THIS
ALL PRETTY GOOD.

YEAH, I DID. THANKS. AND
I DON'T USUALLY DO THIS.

BUT IT SEEMS LIKE MOST
OF OUR LAB TECHNICIANS...

CAME DOWN WITH AN ACUTE
CASE OF SPRING FEVER.

[Chuckles] SO, UH, HOW
LONG YOU BEEN A NURSE?

OH, ALL MY LIFE.

MY EX-WIFE ALWAYS
WANTED TO BE A NURSE. YEAH?

HATED SCHOOL THOUGH.
SHE'S A HOSTESS NOW...

AT ONE OF THOSE RESTAURANTS
ON THE MASS TURNPIKE. WHICH EXIT?

FOURTEEN. SO, UH, DO YOU
LIKE IT? I MEAN, NURSING.

HMM, THE HOURS ARE LONG AND THE
FOOD STINKS, BUT I LOVE BEING A NURSE.

YEAH. OKAY, OPEN UP. I WANNA
GET ANOTHER TEMPERATURE ON YOU.

BACK IN A MINUTE.

THEY NEVER SENT ANYBODY
IN FOR MY URINE SAMPLE.

OH, THAT'S OKAY. I'LL TAKE IT.

SO WHAT'D YOU GUYS THINK
ABOUT THAT POWER FAILURE, HUH?

CAUGHT ME IN THE
MIDDLE OF A SHOWER.

[Wheezing] DOWN, BIG
BOY. SO, WHAT HAPPENED?

SO ANYWAY, ALICE AND I ARE
SITTING ON THE COUCH LAST NIGHT,

AND THINGS ARE GETTING
HOT AND HEAVY. MM-HMM.

AND SHE SAYS, "I KNOW I SLEPT WITH
ALL THOSE OTHER GUYS RIGHT AWAY,

BUT YOU'RE DIFFERENT,
VICTOR, YOU'RE SPECIAL."

YOU BELIEVE THAT?
RIGHT. WHAT'D YOU DO?

SO I SAID, "NO, YOU GOT IT ALL
WRONG, BABE. I'M NOT DIFFERENT.

I'M THE SAME AS
ALL THE REST OF 'EM."

COME ON. YOU DON'T
REALLY LIKE ME, DO YOU?

WE'RE JUST HAVING LUNCH WITH
THEM. AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T TOUCH ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE WITH
DERMATOLOGISTS... COOTIES.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
MIND IF WE JOIN YOU?

NO, WE'VE BEEN WAITING. HELLO,
WAYNE. NICE TO SEE YOU, WAYNE.

SO, ARE WE ON FOR TONIGHT?

CATH AND I KNOW THIS REALLY NEAT
RESTAURANT DOWN NEAR THE PRU.

- SOUNDS GREAT.
- OH, IT'S WONDERFUL, WAYNE.

[Shirley] WHAT KIND
OF FOOD? ITALIAN.

ITALIAN. ISN'T THAT BAD
FOR YOUR SKIN, ALL THAT OIL?

OH, WAYNE, YOU USED TO LOVE
IT WHEN WE USED A LOT OF OIL.

[Chuckling]

AN AWFUL LOT OF
MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGHS...

ARE HAPPENING NOW IN
DERMATOLOGY, RIGHT, WARREN?

THERE'S SOME REALLY GOOD
WORK BEING DONE NOW, SHIRLEY.

WE'RE MAKING GREAT PROGRESS IN
ECZEMA, SEBORRHEA AND PSORIASIS, SHIRLEY.

OH, UH, ACNE, THE SILENT
MENACE STALKS THE YOUNG.

[Laughing] YEAH.
HE'S GREAT, CATH.

OH, YEAH, THE BEST.

WELL, ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS IN
E.R. SEE ALL THE INTERESTING STUFF.

NOT REALLY. [Cathy] WE GOTTA GO.

SO HOW ABOUT OUR
DOUBLE DATE TONIGHT?

WELL, I... WAYNE CAN'T.

OH. SOME OTHER TIME THEN?

YES.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T?

IF WE WENT, IT WOULDN'T
BE SO BAD. FORGET IT.

JACK.

THERE WAS AN OPENING ON
THE BOARD THIS AFTERNOON,

SO I SLID ANTHONY RIZZO INTO
IT. WITHOUT CHECKING WITH ME?

WELL, I RAN IT BY
DR. LONDON THIS MORNING.

RIZZO HADN'T EATEN ALL DAY,
SO HE GAVE ME THE GO-AHEAD.

WITHOUT CHECKING WITH ME.
I'M CHECKING WITH YOU NOW.

NOT A CHANCE, VICTOR. WHY?

RIZZO'S READY TO GO
IN. WELL, I'M NOT READY.

YOU KNOW, YOUR AMBIVALENCE
IS REALLY FRUSTRATING.

YEAH? SO IS YOUR ARROGANCE.
YOU'RE GETTING TO BE A REAL SURGEON.

WELL, EXCUSE ME, BUT THE MAN HAPPENS
TO HAVE A TUMOR IN HIS PANCREAS, OKAY?

LOOK AT HIS INSULIN
LEVELS. THEY'RE UP, UP, UP.

HOW COME THE C.T.
SCAN AND ALL THE OTHER

TESTS ARE NEGATIVE.
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT?

OKAY, MOST INSULINOMAS ARE
TOO SMALL TO BE SEEN ON X-RAYS.

THE ONLY WAY WE'RE GONNA KNOW
IS TO OPEN HIM UP AND EXPLORE.

SO, LET'S GET ON WITH IT. AND
IF WE DON'T FIND ANYTHING?

WE SEW HIM BACK UP AND
THAT'S IT. I DON'T KNOW.

OH, GREAT, YOU DON'T KNOW. WHAT DON'T
YOU KNOW? YOU WANNA DO IT, THEN DO IT.

SO YOU TWO GUYS FINALLY
GOT THINGS WORKED OUT, HUH?

WELL, ANTHONY, WE HAVE
REACHED SOME SORT OF AGREEMENT.

BUT TO BE HONEST,
DR. MORRISON STILL QUESTIONS...

WHETHER SURGERY REALLY
IS NEEDED AT THIS TIME.

YEAH, I KNOW, SURGEONS
VERSUS INTERNISTS, RIGHT?

SO, WE DO HAVE YOU SCHEDULED
FOR LATER THIS AFTERNOON,

BUT THE FINAL DECISION,
OF COURSE, IS YOURS.

YOU GOT RESERVATIONS, HUH?

I FEEL WE COULD HOLD OFF A LITTLE
LONGER FOR ADDITIONAL TESTING.

I'D LIKE TO GET A C-TERMINAL
INSULIN TO FIND OUT...

IF THE INSULIN IS
COMING FROM THE TUMOR.

YOU A FOOTBALL FAN?

NOT REALLY. HANDBALL.
[Makes Popping Sound]

AH, IT DOESN'T MATTER. 1966,
MICHIGAN STATE VERSUS NOTRE DAME,

PLAYING FOR THE
NUMBER ONE RANKING.

- PARSEGHIAN...
- HE USED TO BE THE COACH OF NOTRE DAME.

YEAH, RIGHT. RAN OUT THE
CLOCK PLAYING FOR A TIE.

[Scoffs] BUSH IF YOU ASK ME.

PLAY FOR A TIE, YOU GET A TIE.

I'M HERE TO WIN.
LET'S GO FOR IT, HMM?

NO OFFENSE INTENDED,
DR. MORRISON.

NONE TAKEN.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER ON
TONIGHT, MR. RIZZO. VICTOR.

OKAY, LET ME EXPLAIN THE PROCEDURE
TO YOU. OH, DON'T WASTE YOUR BREATH.

LOOK, YOU'RE GONNA GO
INSIDE AND CHECK THINGS OUT.

IF YOU FIND SOMETHING YOU
DON'T LIKE, YOU'LL TAKE IT OUT.

IF YOU DON'T, YOU WON'T, RIGHT?
RIGHT. THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP.

YEAH, I DID TWO TOURS IN 'NAM,
82nd AIRBORNE, HELICOPTERS.

YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT EXPLORATORY
SURGERY, '68 TET OFFENSIVE.

WE GO INTO THE JUNGLE... WE DIDN'T
KNOW WHAT THE HELL WE WERE GONNA FIND.

SOMETIMES NOTHING.
SOMETIMES A HELL OF A CANCER.

[Chuckles] SO DON'T
YOU WORRY ABOUT ME.

I KNOW THE STORY. I
KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

SOMEONE WILL BE IN TO PREP
AND PREMEDICATE YOU LATER ON.

I'LL SEE YOU IN A
COUPLE OF HOURS.

I'LL BE THERE.

OH, I HAD A BUDDY IN THE
82nd AIRBORNE. NO KIDDING?

YEAH, FLUNKED OUT OF CAL. GOT CAUGHT
WITH A LOW NUMBER IN THE DRAFT LOTTERY.

BUT I DIDN'T THINK THE 82nd WAS
INVOLVED IN THE TET OFFENSIVE.

OH, YEAH, YEAH, WE
HAD A FEW BOYS THERE.

[Chuckles] OKAY. SEE YOU LATER.

HI.

HI. HI.

GOT A CIGARETTE?

I'M SORRY, THERE'S NO
SMOKING ALLOWED IN HERE.

MAYBE... MAYBE YOU CAN LOOSEN THESE
UP A LITTLE BIT, BECAUSE THEY'RE SO TIGHT.

I THINK THAT... I THINK THAT THEY'RE GIVING
ME BRUISES. PLEASE, THEY'RE REALLY TIGHT.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE
UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT I'M NOT ALLOWED TO.

OH, PLEASE. PLEASE.

ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU.

OH, YOU'RE SO KIND.

NOW I'M GONNA
KILL YOU! [Screams]

I'M GONNA KILL YOU! LUTHER,
WE GOTTA TIE THAT WOMAN DOWN!

CALL SECURITY.
GRAB HER! SHUT UP!

[Luther] GET SECURITY!
GET SECURITY!

[Grunting] [Screaming]

I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

GET OFF ME!

[Chattering] ♪♪ [Piano]

MARK, I NEVER WOULD HAVE
PEGGED YOU FOR THIS KIND OF PLACE.

MAN CANNOT LIVE ON
BÉARNAISE SAUCE ALONE.

WHAT IS THIS, FLOUNDER?

ICELANDIC SCROD. IT'S GOOD.

ACTUALLY, I DID A BYPASS
ON THE OWNER OF THIS PLACE.

I DROP BY FROM TIME TO TIME.

THE FOOD'S NOT BAD,
AND THE PRICE IS RIGHT.

YOU REALLY IMPRESSED THE
HELL OUT OF THOSE KIDS TODAY.

SOME WORLD, ISN'T IT?

I MEAN, IT'S GOTTEN TO THE POINT THAT IF
YOU SAY WHAT YOU THINK, YOU'RE A HERO.

WELL, YOU SPEAK
YOUR MIND, THAT'S TRUE.

- EVER GET YOU IN TROUBLE?
- ARE YOU KIDDING? ALL MY LIFE.

IT'S CAUSED ME A HELL
OF A LOT OF TROUBLE.

NOW YOU SPEAK YOUR MIND,

AND YOU DON'T PUT PEOPLE OFF.

YOU KNOW, I MEAN IT. AND
YOU'RE NOT PERFECT EITHER.

BUT, I MEAN, PEOPLE DON'T
TREAT YOU LIKE YOU GOT FLEAS.

WHAT IS IT IN MY PERSONALITY
THAT BUGS PEOPLE?

THAT BUGS YOU? WELL, I...

COME ON, COME ON. GIVE IT TO ME
STRAIGHT. DON'T PULL ANY PUNCHES.

- MARK, I... WHAT DO YOU...
- RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES.

NO, REALLY, I... COME ON.

WELL, YOU'RE A
LITTLE SHORT ON TACT.

RIGHT.

- YOU'RE RUDE.
- UH-HUH.

PREJUDICED. UH-HUH.

YOU'RE INTOLERANT OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T
BEHAVE IN A WAY THAT YOU THINK THEY SHOULD.

RIGHT.

NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG. I LIKE
YOU WELL ENOUGH. I REALLY DO.

BUT, WELL, YOU'RE REALLY
A CLOSED, NARROW-MINDED,

JUDGMENTAL HUMAN
BEING, AND I DON'T...

THAT'S ENOUGH.

- THANK YOU, DONALD.
- LOOK, MARK, I'M SORRY.

NO, NO, NO, NO. I RESPECT YOU
FOR THAT, FOR WHAT YOU SAID.

I'M GONNA GO TO THE JOHN.

I THINK THIS CHECK IS YOURS.

[Kochar] HOW DOES HIS
PANCREAS LOOK, EHRLICH?

PEACHY KEEN. SOFT
WITHOUT MASSES.

THIS FELLOW USED TO PLAY
HOCKEY? I DON'T THINK SO.

HE'S GOT MORE SCARS
THAN A MAPLE LEAF GOALIE.

OKAY, LET'S TAKE ANOTHER WALK AROUND
THE BLOCK THROUGH THESE ADHESIONS.

IF WE DON'T FIND ANYTHING,
LET'S CLOSE HIM UP.

A LITTLE MORE 02, V.J.,
LOOKING A LITTLE MURKY HERE.

♪♪ [Whistling] YOU'RE REALLY ENJOYING
YOURSELF, AREN'T YOU, EHRLICH?

THE BIGGEST RUSH I'VE HAD
SINCE I HIT THE WAVES AT KAANAPALI.

THE WAY I UNDERSTAND IT, SURFERS
ARE BORN, BUT SURGEONS ARE MADE.

HEY, V.J., WHAT'S
"HEAVEN" IN HINDI?

- BIHISHT.
- BIHISHT.

WELL, I THINK I FOUND
IT IN SURGERY. [Chuckles]

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT HIM? HE'S
GOT HIS INTENDED COMING OVER.

OH, CONGRATULATIONS,
V.J. FIRST TIME?

NO, I WAS INTENDED ONCE
BEFORE. HER NAME WAS DEVI ROPAR.

DID YOU MARRY DEVI? NO.

WHEN I CAME HOME FROM MEDICAL
SCHOOL, SHE WAS ENGAGED TO GUPTA GIVA.

GUPTA GIVA? [Chuckles]

A USELESS SON OF
A USELESS FATHER.

THEY OWN APARTMENT
HOUSES IN PATNA.

SHE MARRIED HIM? NO.

WHY NOT? PROBABLY FOUND OUT
ABOUT HIS GIRL FROM MARABAR.

- [Steady Beep] - WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?

- WE GOT AN ARREST.
- V.J., GIVE HIM
100 MILLIGRAMS LIDOCAINE,

TWO AMPS BICARB AND CALCIUM.

AND FOR GOD'S SAKE, SEAL THE
AIR LEAK AND OPEN THOSE LINES.

EHRLICH, OPEN UP
THE CHEST. SCALPEL.

EASY. SPREAD THE RIBS APART.

GIVE ME THOSE RETRACTORS.

[Steady Beep Continues]

- THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
- OPEN HEART MASSAGE.

COME ON.

MARY ABERNATHY? MM-HMM.

I'M DR. ARMSTRONG. I'M
SORRY I HAVEN'T GOTTEN

TO YOU SOONER, BUT
I'VE BEEN VERY BUSY.

OH, I UNDERSTAND, DEAR.

SAYS YOU CAME INTO EMERGENCY
COMPLAINING OF STOMACH PAINS.

YES. AND DR. FISCUS
ADMITTED YOU...

BECAUSE YOU WERE BANGING
YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL.

HE WAS CONCERNED YOU
WERE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF.

THE PAIN WAS VERY BAD.

I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.

IT ALSO SAYS THAT
YOU ATTACKED A NURSE.

[Chuckles] I THINK "ATTACK" IS
TOO STRONG A WORD, DOCTOR.

I ADMIT I DID GET A BIT EXCITED.

BUT I HAD BEEN WAITING
AROUND FOR SUCH A LONG TIME.

AND THEN THEY TIED ME DOWN,
AND I WAS IN A GREAT DEAL OF PAIN.

NATURALLY, I PANICKED.

BESIDES, I FOUND THE NURSE
TO BE VERY, VERY HOSTILE TO ME.

HMM. HOW WELL DO YOU FEEL NOW?

OH, MUCH BETTER, THANK
YOU. AND I'D LIKE TO GO HOME.

I SEE.

WELL, I WANNA MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE
NOT GOING TO HURT YOURSELF AGAIN.

DON'T WORRY, I
WON'T. I LOST MY HEAD.

BUT IT WAS JUST FOR A SECOND.

WELL, I'D LIKE YOU TO STAY
AROUND A LITTLE LONGER...

SO WE CAN FIND OUT WHAT
THE CAUSE OF YOUR PAIN WAS.

OH, NO, PLEASE, I'M FINE REALLY.

AND I REALLY WANNA GO HOME.

WELL, IF YOU INSIST. I DON'T
WANT TO HAVE TO MAKE YOU STAY.

BUT I WILL HAVE TO GET AN
OKAY FROM DR. SENTEFLEBAN.

HE'S THE SENIOR
RESIDENT ON CALL TONIGHT.

OH, THANK YOU,
DOCTOR. YOU'RE SO KIND.

WHAT HAPPENED? I DON'T
KNOW. HE TRIPLED ON THE TABLE.

YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO CUT INTO
HIM, COULD YOU? IT WAS ROUTINE.

NOTHING SHOULD HAVE GONE
WRONG. IT WAS SURGERY, EHRLICH.

IT WAS INVASIVE.

SOMETHING WENT WRONG BECAUSE
EVER SINCE YOU DID YOUR FIRST SOLO,

YOU'VE BEEN DYING TO CUT AGAIN.

THE GUY'S 80 YEARS OLD. HE'S
GOT HEARING AIDS IN BOTH EARS.

I BRING HIM DOWN FOR X-RAY,
AND I SAY, "TAKE OFF THE CLOTHES,

PUT ON THE GOWN AND COME
ACROSS THE HALL FOR THE X-RAY."

WELL, HE GETS THE PART
ABOUT LOSING THE CLOTHES,

BUT MISSES THE PART
ABOUT THE GOWN.

HE LOOKED SO FUNNY AND SCARED,
WALKING ACROSS THAT HALLWAY.

BYE. HOW DID SHE GET OUT?

GET ME SECURITY.
HEY, WHAT'S WRONG?

LUCY, THAT'S HER.

HI, JACK. YOU LOOK TIRED.

YEAH, I'M BEAT.

IT'S BEEN A DIFFICULT DAY.

YEAH, I KNOW, BUT CHEER UP.

IT'S THE DESERT FLOWER.

THE FLOWER THAT
SPRINGS FROM THE TINIEST

ASPHALT CREVICE THAT
HAS THE LOVELIEST BLOOM.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN? NO.

WELL, WHEN THINGS DIDN'T
WORK OUT WITH WAYNE,

I THOUGHT THERE'D BE NO
HAPPINESS FOR ME IN THIS WORLD.

THEN WARREN AND I
FOUND EACH OTHER.

NOW I FOUND MY HAPPINESS, AND IT
LOOKS AS THOUGH WAYNE HAS FOUND HIS.

WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE
VERY, VERY GOOD FRIENDS:

WAYNE, WARREN,
SHIRLEY AND CATHY.

THAT'S GREAT.

I FEEL RATHER LIKE THAT
PAINTING DÉJEUNER SUR L'HERBE...

LUNCHEON ON THE
GRASS... BY MANET?

DO YOU KNOW THE ONE?

WITH THE WOMAN SITTING
NAKED AND EVERYONE EATING.

YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO
SEE ME ABOUT SOMETHING?

RIGHT. THE MAN WHO DIED
IN SURGERY, ANTHONY RIZZO.

AFTER HE WAS OPENED, WE FOUND THAT
HIS C-TERMINAL INSULIN WAS NEGATIVE.

IT DIDN'T COME
FROM HIS OWN BODY.

IT CAME FROM A COW.

A COW?

THAT'S RIGHT. THE
R.I.A. IS POSITIVE.

I DON'T GET IT. COW
INSULIN KILLED HIM?

NO. IT WAS AN EXTREMELY HIGH
BLOOD LEVEL OF SYNTHROID...

THAT REACTED WITH THE
SURGICAL ANESTHETIC.

WHAT WOULD SUCH A HIGH LEVEL OF
SYNTHROID BE DOING IN HIS SYSTEM?

HIS THYROID FUNCTION
TESTS WERE NORMAL.

I DON'T KNOW. [Air Blows]

I SUPPOSE THE SAME THING THAT
THE COW INSULIN WAS DOING THERE.

HE MUST HAVE TAKEN A LARGE DOSE OF
SYNTHROID JUST BEFORE HE PRE-OP'ED.

[Air Blowing]

WENDY, DID YOU EXAMINE THE WOMAN WE
SENT UP TO PSYCH? THE ONE IN RESTRAINTS?

MARY ABERNATHY. I WAS
CALLED IN FOR A CONSULT.

SECURITY SAID YOU
RELEASED HER. THAT'S RIGHT.

I GOT AN OKAY FROM DR. SENTEFLEBAN.
WHY DID YOU RELEASE HER?

SHE DIDN'T SEEM AS THOUGH
SHE WAS ANY DANGER TO HERSELF.

HERSELF? THE WOMAN IS
CRAZY. SHE FLIPPED OUT IN E.R.

SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY COHERENT
BY THE TIME I SPOKE WITH HER.

- DIDN'T YOU READ MY REPORT?
- YES. BUT I'M TELLING YOU,

BY THE TIME I SAW HER, SHE WAS IN
COMPLETE CONTROL OF HER FACULTIES.

I HAD NO REASON TO
HOLD HER FOR 72 HOURS.

SHE THREATENED TO
KILL ME, FOR GOD SAKES!

SHIRLEY, WOULD YOU CALM DOWN?

SAVE IT FOR YOUR PATIENTS.

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT WHAT
YOU SAID, DONALD. I AM DIFFICULT.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT
YOUR FEELINGS, MARK.

OH, DON'T BE SILLY.

I'M MAN ENOUGH TO TAKE A
LITTLE HEALTHY CRITICISM.

WE ALL HAVE OUR DEFECTS.

OH, YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT.

YOU HAVE TO ADMIT YOUR BEING "ALL THINGS
TO ALL PEOPLE" CAN WEAR PRETTY DAMN THIN.

I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY. BUT AT
ANY RATE, AT MY AGE, IT'S HARD TO CHANGE.

MY FEELINGS EXACTLY.

WHAT?

COME ON IN, JACK. WHAT'S UP?

UH, THE WEIRDEST THING HAPPENED.

A PATIENT OF MINE WAS OPERATED
ON TODAY AND DIED ON THE TABLE.

- WHO DID THE SURGERY?
- UH, DR. EHRLICH.

DR. LONDON WAS ASSISTING.

ACCORDING TO PATH, THE INSULIN IN
THE MAN'S BODY CAME FROM A COW.

THIS GUY HAVE LOTS OF SCARS?

YEAH. HE'S BEEN OPERATED
ON SEVEN TIMES BEFORE.

BODY TEMPERATURE BOUNCE
AROUND? BLOOD IN THE URINE?

THAT'S RIGHT.
MUNCHAUSEN SYNDROME.

- SOUNDS LIKE IT.
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

PATIENTS WHO FOOL THEIR
DOCTORS INTO PERFORMING

SURGERY THAT'S
COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY.

I MEAN, SOME OF THESE SICKOS
KNOW MORE MEDICINE THAN WE DO.

THEY'VE GOT TO, TO TRICK THE DOCTOR
INTO PERFORMING ALL THE PROCEDURES.

MY ADVICE TO YOU, JACK, IS TO
CALL SOME OF THE OTHER HOSPITALS.

HAVE THEM CHECK THEIR RECORDS.

I'LL GIVE YOU EVEN MONEY THAT THIS
FELLA'S BEEN IN EVERY HOSPITAL IN BOSTON.

WHY WOULD ANYONE
WANT TO BE OPERATED ON?

THEY LIKE BEING PATIENTS.

THEY GET A WEIRD KIND OF
PLEASURE FOOLING DOCTORS.

SOME EXPERTS SAY IT'S JUST
THAT THEY NEED SOME ATTENTION.

UNBELIEVABLE. ISN'T IT?

WELL, THANK YOU
BOTH. SEE YOU LATER.

SO, EHRLICH LOST HIS
FIRST PATIENT TODAY.

WON'T BE THE LAST.

UNFORTUNATELY. SOME MORE?

WHOA!

SHIRLEY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

THEY LET HER GO. WHO?

THAT CRAZY WOMAN FROM E.R.

SHE ATTACKED ME. SHE WANTS
TO KILL ME. AND THEY LET HER GO.

SHIRLEY, SHE'S A HEAD CASE. THEY
NEVER FOLLOW UP ON THEIR THREATS.

SHE SAID SHE WAS GONNA
GET A GUN AND KILL ME.

THIS IS THE WORST
DAY OF MY LIFE.

BETWEEN THIS PSYCHO
AND YOU. ME? WHAT DID I DO?

COME ON, FISCUS. YOU
AND CATHY MARTIN WERE

GOING GAGA OVER EACH
OTHER IN THE CAFETERIA.

WHAT? MUST HAVE
FELT LIKE OLD TIMES.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS. I WAS ONLY BEING
NICE TO HER BECAUSE YOU ASKED ME TO.

REALLY? REALLY.

YOU'RE SEEING THINGS
THAT AREN'T THERE.

I AM? YEAH.

KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO?
WE'RE GONNA GET YOUR COAT.

I'M GONNA DRIVE YOU
BACK TO MY PLACE.

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU
A SPECIAL DINNER.

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA SNUGGLE
UP ON THE COUCH WITH A BLANKET,

AND WATCH TV AND SHUT
THE WHOLE WORLD OUT, OKAY?

[Knocking] CAN I COME IN?

YEAH, SURE.

I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

THE AUTOPSY ON ANTHONY RIZZO...

SHOWED THAT HE HAD INGESTED
A LARGE QUANTITY OF SYNTHROID.

WHEN IT REACTED WITH THE
SURGICAL ANESTHETIC, IT KILLED HIM.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

I TALKED TO WESTPHALL AND CRAIG.

THEY SUGGESTED I DIG
DEEPER INTO HIS RECORDS.

SO, I CALLED SOME
OTHER HOSPITALS.

OVER THE PAST SEVEN YEARS,
ANTHONY RIZZO HAS BEEN ADMITTED...

TO NO FEWER THAN 15 HOSPITALS.

WHAT... WHAT FOR?

EVERYTHING.

[Scoffs] I DON'T GET
IT. WHAT'S GOING ON?

WELL, I'M NOT SURE, BUT...

I THINK HE WAS SUFFERING
FROM MUNCHAUSEN SYNDROME.

MUNCHAUSEN. SHOT DOWN BY
THE BARON VON MUNCHAUSEN.

SO YOU SEE, IT
WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

I APPRECIATE THIS.

I'VE BEEN LYING HERE, THINKING.

YOU'RE RIGHT, ABOUT THIS COMPELLING NEED
I'VE DEVELOPED TO GET BACK INTO THE O.R.

YOU'RE ALWAYS TOLD THAT IN ORDER TO BE A
GOOD SURGEON, YOU'VE GOTTA BE AGGRESSIVE,

OPINIONATED, EAGER
TO CUT, BUT IT'S NO GOOD.

I'VE GOTTA TRY AND CURB
THAT KIND OF THINKING.

I'LL SEE YOU AROUND. THANKS.

YOU KNOW, DONALD, WE OUGHTA SEE
MORE OF EACH OTHER OUTSIDE THE HOSPITAL.

I'D LIKE THAT. HOW ABOUT
DINNER AT MY PLACE? SUNDAY.

ELLEN MAKES A GREAT POT
ROAST. CAN I BRING MY KIDS?

OF COURSE. AND
A DATE, IF YOU LIKE.

SOUNDS TERRIFIC. ARE YOU SEEING
ANYBODY SPECIAL THESE DAYS?

NO. NO ONE IN PARTICULAR. GREAT.

HAVE YOU EVER MET MY RECENTLY
WIDOWED SISTER-IN-LAW, CAROL?

NO, I DON'T THINK I'VE HAD
THE PLEASURE. WELL, YOU WILL.

SUNDAY NIGHT. MARK...

DONALD, I'D CONSIDER IT
A HUGE PERSONAL FAVOR.

LET'S TAKE THE STAIRS. THESE
DAMN THINGS NEVER WORK.

[Elevator Bell Dings]

ALWAYS WORKS FOR ME.

[Mews]