Spy Kids: Mission Critical (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Secrets & Spies - full transcript

SWAMP Headquarters,
this is Operative 2-1-8-7. Come in!

[static over radio]

The satellite communication system
is still down?

-We're cut off!
-Well... Well, what should we do?

[Carmen] How about surrender?

-It's the Spy Kids!
-[grunts]

Weird. They never choose surrender.

Okay, Mission Critical, just like always.

Let's round up these Swampies
and shut down the outpost!

[beeping]

I've got just the blob for the job.



Globinator, go! Crusty globs!

[panting, grunts]

Eh? [groans]

-[Carmen] Got another on the move.
-[goon yelps]

-What the--?
-[goon] Huh?

[goon 2] Ha!
You ain't gonna catch me, Spy Kid!

-[goon 2 yelps]
-Cool, right? Bounder Boots.

I can get across town
in a couple of strides.

Now, let's--

-[goon 2 grunts]
-Eh?

-Ah... [yelps]
-[goon 3] Huh?

[girl's voice] You should totally get
these sunglasses, G.

-[Glitch giggles]
-[girl's voice] They're cute.

-Totes. Add to cart.
-Uh-huh.



[Carmen clears throat]

OMG! It's done already?

What is done?

Wait. You did this?

Well, not me, exactly.

I am not understanding.

Meet Gablet! My new AI assistant!

Hey, hey!

[all] Huh?

Gablet analyzed all the data
from our last few round-up missions

and calculated the similarities
and anomalies in Swampie escape patterns.

Then with just one swipe right...
hashtag captured.

So this is the secret project
you've been working on.

Pretty impressive, Glitch.

Uh, totes! Gablet can do everything.

Programming, code-breaking,
calculating complex equations,

the latest news and weather.

[Gablet] And speaking of news,

wanna hear all the hot goss

on the Terrence Jamison/Tina Paulette
breakup?

That's news? [scoffs]
Who'd care about that?

They broke up?

But they were spotted in Bali together!

-[groans]
-What?

Juni, radio Headmaster Immortata
telling her, "Mission complete."

[Gablet] Already done!

Wow. Okay, then.

Mission Critical,
let's head back to the Academy.

Don't want to be late
first day of second semester.

[button beeps]

Okay, so, explain it to me
one more time, Mr. Brain.

The hyena puppies
you were fostering did all this?

[Golden Brain]
Yes. [chuckles] Mischievous little scamps.

Now, if I combine channel Alpha with Beta,

then it should realign the satellites,
so...

-[buzzing]
-[Golden Brain] Agh! Still nothing!

Aw, cranberries, Mr. Brain.

It doesn't look like you're having
much luck.

Maybe I should just go fetch JT
from the IT department--

[Golden Brain] No, Therese,
please do not fetch JT.

He's so annoying and condescending.

And he sweats on everything. Yuck!

I am more than capable of getting
the communication system online myself.

-[meowing over speakers]
-[Golden Brain] What? [moans]

[beeping over speakers]

Oh, wait! You got something, Mr. Brain!

An incoming message from... Agent No One.

Agent No One?

-[beeping continues]
-[Golden Brain] Not Agent "No One."

Agent "Noone" from our rain forest office.

-Hello, Agent "Noone"!
-[distorted voice] "Noone"?

[Golden Brain] Yes. "Noone."

How are things in the rain forest?

Oh, this is a terrible connection.

All fuzzy and garbled.

That settles it, I'm getting JT.

[Golden Brain] No, you don't need to--
[moans, sighs]

I have been waiting patiently, No One.

You promised me the serum.

And you will have it.

I just needed to find
the right moment to strike.

But I cannot afford
to draw attention to myself.

So I will need your help
with a distraction, Golden Brain.

[Golden Brain] Fine, give me
the coordinates to Spy Academy

and I'll fly over straightaway.

Hopefully the BrainCopter is gassed up.

-That was not our deal.
-[Golden Brain groans]

This must be done remotely.

Contact me when you have a plan in place.

-Agent No One signing off!
-[beeps]

-[Golden Brain] Agent No One! Come back!
-[button beeping]

-[meowing over speakers]
-[Golden Brain] Oh, meow yourself.

Attention, cadets, this is Murna,
your academy information officer,

and I would like to welcome
all of you back for second semester

with a special haiku I have composed.

It is move-in day.

-Cadets unpacking their things.
-[bongo drum beats]

Murna is happy.

Immortata has been keeping us
posted on your latest missions.

You've nearly cleaned up
all the remaining SWAMP outposts.

Without Golden Brain's leadership,
they've been easier to disrupt.

We only have a few more left,

then Gold Dome
will be out of business for good.

Oh, our time is up.
Have a great first day.

Ah, bummer. I really wanted to show them
my new suit.

Uh, looks just like your old suit.

But with one major difference.

The Never-ending Pocket!

PSI helped me make this pocket
from a special elastic polymer

that can expand on the inside

while keeping its shape on the outside.

Perfect for gathering clues on missions.

-See?
-Huh!

-Hmm.
-[grunting]

[muttering]

What else you got in there?

Can't remember.
Been testing it for the last few days.

Oh, ha, there's the Pinnoquinox.

[chuckles] Okay. Let me stop in my room

to grab a snack before class.

[both] Hmm?

Whoa, Carmen. I didn't realize
you were that hungry.

Ooh, Juni! Carmen!

Professor Floop, what's with all
the Floop's Fooglies merchandise?

I had to empty out my storage warehouse

and Headmaster Immortata said
I could store stuff

-here at the Academy.
-[Tom humming]

-First, I needed to inventory it.
-[Tom grunts]

I told them they could put it
on your side of room, Tango.

Hope you don't mind.

Inventory? That could take days.

[Gablet] All done!

[Scorpion] See?

What were you so worried about?

Little baby in computer
already counted everything.

And look what I found especially for you,
Juni.

-[gasps] Thanks, Professor Floop!
-Okay.

We need to get going,
and I need to print out my schedule.

[Gablet] Done!

And I also printed out
all the hottest back-to-school fashions.

I love this jumper.

I know. Super cute. Right?

Okay, first period...
Etiquette & Elocution?

Ms. Chatting-Botham? Who's that?

[faint slurp]

Bravo! Such form! Such style!

Glendora Chatting-Botham has trained
all the most cultured superspies.

I have read all of her books.

Her tea sandwich trilogy
is considered a classic of the genre.

Cadets, before we continue our lesson,

I would like to introduce

my teaching assistant for the semester.

A true model of elegance,
refinement and culture...

Oh, this is very unexpected.

Lord Merriweather!

Lord Merriweather?

But the name is Awesome. Sir Awesome.

-[Awesome gasps]
-[yowls]

[all gasp]

What is that?

It appears to be feline.
But we cannot be sure.

[grunts]

Now, cadets, on to our lesson.

Who can tell me the basic principles
of proper table etiquette?

Ahem...

[Gablet] Once seated,
unfold your napkin in your lap.

Hold the knife and fork
with the handles in your palm,

forefinger on top and thumb underneath.

Uncanny.

Marvelous!

You are well on your way

to becoming a cultured superspy!

[Gablet] Holler!

Class, proper manners is essential
to spy work.

In social situations,

whilst entertaining dignitaries
and diplomats,

-you must be able to display conduct...
-[cat purring]

...befitting of a gentleman or lady.

Isn't that correct, Lord Merriweather?

-[spurts]
-Lord Merriweather!

[sniffing]
Aw, crikey! That is awful, mate!

Mind your language, cadet!

That is not language
befitting of a spy gentleman.

-[spurts]
-What has gotten into you?

Well, whatever it is,
I think it's trying to get out.

[bell rings]

[Chatting-Botham] Oh, my! Class dismissed!

[spurts]

-Lord Merriweather! I say!
-[purrs]

-[Golden Brain grunts, groans]
-[Therese] Oh, Mr. Brain!

Good news!

[Golden Brain] Please tell me
that JT was too busy

with his fantasy football
to show up to work and--

-[slurps]
-[Golden Brain] Oh, JT.

Always good to see you.
Is that yesterday's lunch in your beard?

Uh-huh. Whatever. What's the problem?

[Golden Brain]
The communication system is down.

And the world's ecosystem
hangs in the balance

if we don't get it operational ASAP!

You know she has no idea we're a--

[Golden Brain] Yes, I am well aware.

-Now will you get on with it?
-[grunts]

[slurps] You have a virus.

[Golden Brain] A virus? I wash my hands.

I remind the goons
to cough into their elbows.

-I never fail to--
-Computer virus.

Malicious code.

[Golden Brain] Yes, of course.
I knew that. Duh.

Uh-huh, sure you did.

I'll run the virus removal program

and get the system up and running for you.

[Golden Brain] Oh, well, bless your heart.

Ah, now go get me some more coffee,
would ya? Light and sweet.

[Golden Brain] I am a supervillain,
not a barista.

Isn't this great? I knew JT could help.

Oh, no need to thank me.

-[Golden Brain] Oh, I won't. I won't.
-[squeals]

[Golden Brain] Hmm.
No One said I had to create a diversion.

But how? There's no way to contact

any of my go-to baddies.

And it's not like I can just create
a villain out of thin air.

[JT] Aha! Slow Brain? Coffee?

[Golden Brain]
Now I have to deal with this, too?

-Huh? Hmm.
-[buzzing]

Maybe I don't.

Here's your coffee, JT.
And these particular beans

have a little extra kick.

-[buzzing]
-[yelping]

[screaming]

[Golden Brain] That was unexpected.

Oh, well.

-[buzzing]
-Hmm?

JT? Is that you?

No, Golden Brain. Don't call me JT.

Call me... The Worm!

[cackling]

[beeping]

[Golden Brain] Ah, Agent No One.
I have the distraction you requested.

Meet The Slug!

It's "The Worm," not "The Slug."

[Golden Brain] What's the difference?
They're both invertebrates.

No! I told you, a worm is a type
of computer program--

[Golden Brain] Frankly,
"Slug" suits you better.

[No One] How will he be of use to me?

I'm pure energy. Look!
I can travel through wires and circuits!

Literally surf the Web!

[buzzing]

Mr. Brain--

[No One] Excellent. This will work.
I will patch the Worm

into the Academy mainframe
to begin the diversion.

Are you ready, Worm?

Let's troll us some Spy Kids!

[beeping]

-[Worm] Worm, Worm!
-[all gasp]

-[Worm] Worm, Worm-Worm!
-[all] Huh?

-[Worm] Worm, Worm!
-Hmm?

-[Worm] Worm!
-Oh, my!

[crackling]

[Worm] Ah, what do we have here?

Ooh! This looks delicious.

Time to crash the party, Worm style.

[all] Huh?

-What happened to the lights?
-Blackout.

-Ace, are you okay?
-[gasps]

Yeah. Fine. [chuckles]

It's just lights. Going out.

Just darkness.
Complete and total darkness.

-[moans]
-Gablet, what do ya got?

Believe it or not,
Terrence Jamison and Tina Paulette

were just seen together
at Franco's Bistro downtown.

-[gasps]
-[Carmen] Huh?

Oh, you mean about the blackout?

Some kind of energy pulse.

-Gablet, run diagnostics.
-[Gablet beeping]

Aw! The entire Academy grid is down, G!

Does that mean we have no lights?
The lights are gone forever?

-Calm down, Ace.
-I'm calm!

You're the one who's not calm, mate!
Quit freaking out!

Energy pulses don't just happen.
Something's up.

Maybe it was gassy feline again.

-[panting] What's happening, Jun?
-[Glitch] OMG.

It looks like some kind of energy worm,
Tango.

Energy worm? Uh-oh.
I'll head back to my lab

and see if I can rebuild the firewalls
so security isn't compromised.

Good idea.

We'll get to work
to get the lights back on.

-Boom!
-[Gablet] Check it.

I just located a backup generator
five floors below us.

If I can get down there,

I can reroute the Academy power grid,

send a reverse energy pulse

and flush out the worm for good.

Well, what are you waiting for?

-[nervous chuckle]
-[Carmen] Ace is right.

Glitch, get Gablet down there immediately
and get that generator restarted.

Just one problem.
The Academy elevators aren't operational.

[scoffs] Who needs elevators
when you've got Aztec?

I know these vents inside out.
I can get us down there.

Okay. Juni, you get Glitch and Gablet
to the backup generator.

We'll stay to guard the Academy
in case of invasion.

-[Gablet] Back in a jiff. Kiss-kiss!
-[Ace whimpering]

[beeps]

[both yelling]

[both groaning]

[Juni] Where are we?

Uh, confused emoji?

We should get back in the vents.

Huh? What's that?

-Hmm...
-[yelps]

[chuckles]

Ace, scout ahead and make sure
those emergency exits

-have no signs of tampering.
-[chuckles]

-Mm-hmm.
-[high-pitched screaming]

[all] Hmm?

Everything okay?
I heard female cadet scream.

Uh, yeah. She, uh-- she ran that way.

Uh, guys?

[cadets] Whoa!

Uh... hi.

I am Clemp.

Nice to meet you, Clemp. Are you new here?

I have always been here.

I take care of things around the Academy.

Like... clogged toilets?

[all gasp]

How come we never see you before?

Because I haven't wanted to be seen.

Fair enough. We should go.

-Nice meeting you, mate.
-"Clemp," was it?

-[clicking]
-[all] Huh?

I like him.

[Juni] What is this place?

[Gablet] Yuck.

Decorating disaster.

Someone could really use a makeover.

IDK, Aztec.
It's some sort of deserted library.

But this level doesn't show up
on any of the Academy maps.

It's as if it doesn't exist.

[Gablet] The generator is above us.

My depth gauge says
we're five kilometers off course.

We must have overshot a few levels
when we fell.

Last checkout... February 1962?

I think this is the old Academy.

The OSS must have built
the new Academy on top of it.

Checked out by...

Cadet Vida Immortata?

-You think--
-[both] Huh?

Uh, we should keep going.

[Worm] Worm, Worm, Worm...

Ah! So bored.

I want to have some fun.

Ah, this looks promising.

[console beeping]

[bot] Yes, Worm.
Terminate the Spy Kids!

[Worm] Fly! Fly, my pretties! [laughing]

[grunting]

There it is!

Backup generator!

Hashtag we did it!

Okay, all we have to do now
is plug Gablet in.

She'll supply the algorithm

to jump-start the entire system.

-Success selfie!
-[Gablet clicks]

Okay, you guys,
I'll have it up in a jiff...

-[Gablet whines]
-Huh? Gablet?

[chuckles] Nothing, G.

Like I said, I'll have it up in a jiff...
[whines]

OMG! Talk to me, Gablet!

[Gablet] Super...

[distorted] cute.

-Gablet!
-Glitch, she has no power left.

Gablet! OMG, no! [gasps]

I need her!

-Huh?
-Computer trouble?

Who... er, what are you?

Call me The Worm.

I am the reason
for all of your trouble around here.

But trust me...

things are about to get
a lot more interesting.

Especially for your friends.

Spoiler alert! [laughing]

-Carmen! Come in, Carm! Carmen!
-We're too deep.

No communication can get out.

Glitch, we need to get
this generator up and running

so we can stop The Worm.

There's no telling what damage he can do.

We need to flush him out like we planned.

But-- but-- Gablet is down.

Without her help, it's hashtag game over.

No, it's not.

Gablet... she didn't create herself,
Glitch.

She wouldn't exist if it wasn't for you.

You can do this.

I believe in you.

Okay.

We're gonna have to do this...

hashtag old school!

Juni! Juni! Come in, Juni!

I wonder if they're getting
the generator running.

Huh?

Look, up ahead. Lights!

-Lights!
-No! Ace, come back!

-[Ace] Whoo-hoo!
-[blasting]

[yells] I was wrong! Very wrong!

[bot] Terminate Spy Kids!

Training bots!

But it would appear
they do not want to train.

Good observation. Run!

Okay, Aztec, you're gonna totes
have to be my search engine.

Bring me all the books
on electrical engineering,

-physics and calculus.
-Got it!

[grunts]

Looks like we got a high-speed connection.

I'll keep searching.
Keep working on that algorithm.

[all panting]

-I hear them, but I don't see them.
-Oh!

[Carmen] They're using cloaking devices.

Two to the right.

Globinator, go! Bubble-O glob!

[buzzing]

Okay, Awesome,

two more to your-- Oh, no. Lost power.

-[buzzing]
-[all gasp]

-We have nothing.
-What are we going to do, Tango?

[Carmen] Hurry up down there, guys.

Oh, look who it is!

What happened to your little friend?

Don't listen to him, Glitch.
You can do this.

-Hmm!
-[knuckles crack]

Ha! You better hope
for your friends' sake you can.

-Come on, Glitch.
-Hmm?

I believe in you.

Are you really going to try
and restart the system

and flush me out
without any computer assistance?

What a noob.

-[laughing]
-[moans]

-[beeps]
-Huh?

You might need computer assistance,
but I don't.

I have the mother of all boards
right here.

Time to call tech support, Worm.

[whirring]

[Worm] No!

[all gasp]

[all sigh]

-[monitor buzzing]
-[Golden Brain yelps]

JT? Worm, is that you?

All the training bots
have been reprogrammed.

The Academy's firewalls have been rebuilt.

And there's no trace of The Worm
anywhere in the system.

-Wow, Gablet did all that?
-Nah.

Glitch has an even more sophisticated
operating system.

Really? What is it called?

She calls it "The Mother of All Boards."

Okay, Mission Critical,

we need to inform Headmaster Immortata
of what's going on.

Golden Brain is obviously
back in business.

-[beeps]
-Uh? Huh.

I don't remember the room
being this messy earlier.

Eh.

Uh, Mr. Brain?

Where's JT?

[Golden Brain] Who? Oh, right, JT.

Yes, well he had his six-month review,

and it turns out he found a better offer.

Aw, we'll miss him around here.

[Golden Brain] Oh, yes, Therese.
We will miss him, indeed.

No! No! Don't do it!

I thought we were friends!

[Golden Brain] We will miss him, indeed.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have
some important matters to attend to

now that I've gotten
our communication system up and running.

[clicks]

[beeping]

[Golden Brain] Noone--

I mean, No One.

-Have you accomplished your mission?
-[No One] No.

The serum could not be located.

[Golden Brain groans, yells]

But don't worry.

I will get you what you need,
Golden Brain.

My mission is just beginning.

[theme music playing]