Sport Billy (1979–1980): Season 1, Episode 1 - Joust in Time - full transcript
hidden from earth on the far side of the sun is the planet olympus
olympus has special electronic devices that make it possible for olympians to keep watch on earth
president sportacus of olympus is devoted to the olympian tradition of sportsmanship and fair play
and wants to see that tradition carried on on earth
reference origin of foul play the twisted evil planet Vandalusia
background now ruled by evil witch vanda
planet destroyed in ancient times by vandalism and series of needless wars
current situation jealous of the olympian tradition of sportsmanship that is enjoyed on earth
Vanda has sent her agents to earth to wipe out fair play
to counteract thunder a champion must be sent to earth
recommendation Sport Billy
Billy we want you to be our champion
report . all the tools you might need in miniature
pull them out of the omnisac and they become full size ready for you to use
in your struggle to protect decent sportsmanship on earth from the obnoxious Vanda
the capacity of the omnisac is infinite
i know you will use it with honor
(Sport Billy you are hero from another planet)
(Sport Billy
and you are chosen for special mission)
(Sport Billy)
(now you've come to earth to fight for good and sportsmanship)
(And with that undersack theres magic in your hand Sport Billy)
(A traveler in time you fight for goodness Sport Billy)
(Queen Vanda shes the evil one)
(And you can do it with your friends hand in hand Sport Billy)
(he's coming to the rescue Sport Billy)
(Good sport Sport Billy)
well Lily here we are Spain
but i can't believe we're actually here in Madrid
i can we've been everywhere else
come on the stadium is this way
wow Billy what a crowd i didn't know soccer was so popular
only the most popular sport around
and the world cup is the championship
if there's anything i hate it's watching people enjoy themselves
but when i'm in power i'll change all that
this time i'll not only fix Sportikus and his wimps Sport Billy
but i'll change everything on the planet earth for the worst
now to set the wheels of my plan in motion
i shall rid to myself of sport billy
and soccer in one stroke
your called your majesty . of course i called
tell me when was the game of soccer first invented
to the best of our knowledge in the time of king Arthur
at Camelot it was one of his favorite sports
i see so if i go back in time and get rid of king Arthur
i get rid of soccer in one stroke i change the course of history
wher is that idot Sajp . one idiot coming up your highness
Sajp
thousand pardon my terrible queen but i can fix the elevator with a little glue and maybe some hammer and naps
quiet
computer activate and send us back to Camelot
yes your evil majesty
that's using your head Billy
soccer is game that calls for lots of coordination and cooperation to make it work
i love soccer but not as much as food of course
??? yam yam
what happend to the ball
Billy what's going on
i'm not sure yet
we'd better get out of here
Billy
it's time for the omni sack
and my special tennis shoes that hermes gave me
hang on
look the whole city is changing
i'm gonna get some answers fast
what are we waiting for
oh here we go again
Sportikus will have the answers
this is Sport Billy hailing Olympus
come in Olympus
oh Sport Billy we're glad to see you good to see you
we were afraid you might have disappeared also
then you saw what happens here in Madrid
Madrid Spain . you know people have lived in what is now spain for over a hundred thousand years
wonderful country spain and i love Madrid with its canals
darling the canals are in Venice
oh yes that is ??? of course of course
everybody knows that love Venice too
now tell me Billy what happened
here it is in a nutshell first the stadium disappeared then the whole city changed
now it looks weird
the master sports computer it should know
computer give us the circumstances surrounding the mysterious events on Earth please
all traces of modern Earth have vanished from my memory banks
but that's impossible
Billy when something's changed even a thousand years ago
it changes everything that happens afterwards
yes and uh where did this change take place
circa 940 a.d at Camelot king Arthur's court
king Arthur's court
further computation suggests change was caused by extraterrestrial being
man that's out of this world
it's Vanda
luckily she gives wickedness a bad name . nasty nasty . but why would she try a stunt like this
she'll do anything to cause trouble for Earth
her we gotta get back to camelot and try to stop her
very well good luck Billy my boy
???
lock in coordinates for king Arthur's time . time coordinates locked
you shall never conquer England Vanda i am Arthur king of all England
when my knights discover i'm a prisoner here
i have already taken care of your knights and your days too
??? back to the tower . unhand me you will pay for this
and now to check on Authur's magical friend Merlin
as long as you stay in the crystal Merlin your magic won't interfere with my plans
oh your majesty your majesty
i have something to show you on the viewer
very well Sajp
if you don't want to end up like that old magician get in here
oh oh coming from this oh that would be horrible terrible
now what did you want to show me
its Sport Billy
well well well my little Olympian flynn has shown up . all right Sajp
you keep spot billy from coming in here .
of course but but how do i do that
that's your problem but i'll start you off
yes yes your majesty
how about this we're really an old Camelot
it's 50 gallops an hour here try to be a little more careful huh
the only one who better be careful is you . prepare to defend yourself nave
what do we do
correction what do i do hmm
no problem
i hope
i think i could use a little help
????
uh that ought to cool them off
i have not acted like a true knight of the round table
but ever since Arthur has disappeared all of england has been in disorder
you're a knight of the round table
allow me to introduce myself i am sir Gawaine and this is my trusted steed Courage
at your service
iam Sport Billy this is Lily and my hairy friend over there is Willy
sir Gawain you said that arthur is disappeared
unfortunately for England yes i'm on a quest to find him
mind if we tag along
we would be honored if you joined us on our quest to find our king
terrific
we have to find king Arthur . come on Willy
??? find king Arthur ??? find king Arthur . i've got to do something quick quick
found it's my comrades of the round table
a witch Vanda has taken over merlin's castle
before we could fight back she had Merlin trapped and us magically put here
let's get these chains off
i'll bet you king arthur is somewhere in that castle
your majesty Sport Billy has freed the knights
and they're headed this way
i know that why don't you tell me something i don't know
but you know everything . there is one thing i don't know
why i don't turn you into a banana
or a frog like this
please your super evilness don't do that
one of these days . but first Sport Billy
do you have a plan my super badness
a plan and my very own knight a cybernetic robot
king Arthur and Merlin must be in there
somehow we have to get across the moat
Willy and i go in let down the drawbridge then you can storm the castle
come on willy we're going up in the world
me why allways me iam watch dog let me watch
oh i always knew there would be days like this
king Arthur king Arthur . who is that?
excuse the less informal entrance your majesty but we're here to rescue you
king Arthur king Arthur . who is that?
excuse the less informal entrance your majesty but we're here to rescue you
the knights are waiting outside the castle get to the drawbridge and open it . i'll find Merlin
Vanda has cast a spell on him he's trapped in glass in the great hall
Willy Willy
we're all depending on you . you've got to break through vanda's barriers
now lower that drawbridge
???
here are the keys you drive
fine
today a castle tomorrow the grand parade honk honk
what's that sound
Sajp
guards yes your majesty . ??? Sport Billy is in the castle
now that's what i call a spell . come ???
Sport Billy is here get him
there's the drawbridge
i think this is doing it the hard way
success is wonderful when you got it you got it
the drawbridge is down Billy made it
for king and Camelot
you'd better worry about yourself first sport Billy
get him
get him get him
now for a little magic of my own
my plans have been ruined
Merlin
Billy
well don't stand there get that witch
you may have won the battle Sport Billy but not the war . i will be back
your evilness your evilness please please don't leave me here
oh Sajp i wouldn't leave without my favorite frog
oh no no
sport billy the people of Camelot owe you great debt
not just me your majesty it was all of us
a team effort
neil Sport Billy i dub the sir Sport Billy knight of the round table
woof woof . and what have we here of course another hero i dub thee sir Willy
and now for some games
this is one of my favorite games . haven't thought of a name for it though
how about calling it soccer
soccer i like that . would you like to play
we'll have to take a rain check on that your majesty
we've got a 20th century soccer game to play
but won't you stay for the feast
sorry sir we must leave
hey speak for yourself
well then my friends goodbye and thank you
well it all worked out well Billy
everything is just like it was before
even better
knights and white horses and castles and a real magicians
it sure was fun being back in King Arthur's time
and we saved soccer for the whole world
oh they're good kids i probably couldn't have done it without them
teamwork is what makes soccer such a great game
and that's how we defeated Vanda with teamwork together
(you and me)
(you and me we can make it)
(together we can make it)
(it just takes working together)
(day after day it keeps on getting better better)
(you and me we can make it.
we can make it)
(together yeah we can make it .
we can make it)
(you and me we can make it .
we can make it)
(together yeah we can make it we can make it)
(you and me we can make it)
(Sport Billy)
(Your a hero from another planet Sport Billy)
(And you were chosen for a special mission Sport Billy)
And now youve come to earth to fight for good sportsmanship
(And with that undersack theres magic in your hand Sport Billy)
(A traveler in time you fight for goodness Sport Billy)
(Queen Vanda shes the evil one)
(And you can do it with your friends hand in hand Sport Billy)
(He’s coming to the rescue Sport Billy)
(Good sport Sport Billy)
olympus has special electronic devices that make it possible for olympians to keep watch on earth
president sportacus of olympus is devoted to the olympian tradition of sportsmanship and fair play
and wants to see that tradition carried on on earth
reference origin of foul play the twisted evil planet Vandalusia
background now ruled by evil witch vanda
planet destroyed in ancient times by vandalism and series of needless wars
current situation jealous of the olympian tradition of sportsmanship that is enjoyed on earth
Vanda has sent her agents to earth to wipe out fair play
to counteract thunder a champion must be sent to earth
recommendation Sport Billy
Billy we want you to be our champion
report . all the tools you might need in miniature
pull them out of the omnisac and they become full size ready for you to use
in your struggle to protect decent sportsmanship on earth from the obnoxious Vanda
the capacity of the omnisac is infinite
i know you will use it with honor
(Sport Billy you are hero from another planet)
(Sport Billy
and you are chosen for special mission)
(Sport Billy)
(now you've come to earth to fight for good and sportsmanship)
(And with that undersack theres magic in your hand Sport Billy)
(A traveler in time you fight for goodness Sport Billy)
(Queen Vanda shes the evil one)
(And you can do it with your friends hand in hand Sport Billy)
(he's coming to the rescue Sport Billy)
(Good sport Sport Billy)
well Lily here we are Spain
but i can't believe we're actually here in Madrid
i can we've been everywhere else
come on the stadium is this way
wow Billy what a crowd i didn't know soccer was so popular
only the most popular sport around
and the world cup is the championship
if there's anything i hate it's watching people enjoy themselves
but when i'm in power i'll change all that
this time i'll not only fix Sportikus and his wimps Sport Billy
but i'll change everything on the planet earth for the worst
now to set the wheels of my plan in motion
i shall rid to myself of sport billy
and soccer in one stroke
your called your majesty . of course i called
tell me when was the game of soccer first invented
to the best of our knowledge in the time of king Arthur
at Camelot it was one of his favorite sports
i see so if i go back in time and get rid of king Arthur
i get rid of soccer in one stroke i change the course of history
wher is that idot Sajp . one idiot coming up your highness
Sajp
thousand pardon my terrible queen but i can fix the elevator with a little glue and maybe some hammer and naps
quiet
computer activate and send us back to Camelot
yes your evil majesty
that's using your head Billy
soccer is game that calls for lots of coordination and cooperation to make it work
i love soccer but not as much as food of course
??? yam yam
what happend to the ball
Billy what's going on
i'm not sure yet
we'd better get out of here
Billy
it's time for the omni sack
and my special tennis shoes that hermes gave me
hang on
look the whole city is changing
i'm gonna get some answers fast
what are we waiting for
oh here we go again
Sportikus will have the answers
this is Sport Billy hailing Olympus
come in Olympus
oh Sport Billy we're glad to see you good to see you
we were afraid you might have disappeared also
then you saw what happens here in Madrid
Madrid Spain . you know people have lived in what is now spain for over a hundred thousand years
wonderful country spain and i love Madrid with its canals
darling the canals are in Venice
oh yes that is ??? of course of course
everybody knows that love Venice too
now tell me Billy what happened
here it is in a nutshell first the stadium disappeared then the whole city changed
now it looks weird
the master sports computer it should know
computer give us the circumstances surrounding the mysterious events on Earth please
all traces of modern Earth have vanished from my memory banks
but that's impossible
Billy when something's changed even a thousand years ago
it changes everything that happens afterwards
yes and uh where did this change take place
circa 940 a.d at Camelot king Arthur's court
king Arthur's court
further computation suggests change was caused by extraterrestrial being
man that's out of this world
it's Vanda
luckily she gives wickedness a bad name . nasty nasty . but why would she try a stunt like this
she'll do anything to cause trouble for Earth
her we gotta get back to camelot and try to stop her
very well good luck Billy my boy
???
lock in coordinates for king Arthur's time . time coordinates locked
you shall never conquer England Vanda i am Arthur king of all England
when my knights discover i'm a prisoner here
i have already taken care of your knights and your days too
??? back to the tower . unhand me you will pay for this
and now to check on Authur's magical friend Merlin
as long as you stay in the crystal Merlin your magic won't interfere with my plans
oh your majesty your majesty
i have something to show you on the viewer
very well Sajp
if you don't want to end up like that old magician get in here
oh oh coming from this oh that would be horrible terrible
now what did you want to show me
its Sport Billy
well well well my little Olympian flynn has shown up . all right Sajp
you keep spot billy from coming in here .
of course but but how do i do that
that's your problem but i'll start you off
yes yes your majesty
how about this we're really an old Camelot
it's 50 gallops an hour here try to be a little more careful huh
the only one who better be careful is you . prepare to defend yourself nave
what do we do
correction what do i do hmm
no problem
i hope
i think i could use a little help
????
uh that ought to cool them off
i have not acted like a true knight of the round table
but ever since Arthur has disappeared all of england has been in disorder
you're a knight of the round table
allow me to introduce myself i am sir Gawaine and this is my trusted steed Courage
at your service
iam Sport Billy this is Lily and my hairy friend over there is Willy
sir Gawain you said that arthur is disappeared
unfortunately for England yes i'm on a quest to find him
mind if we tag along
we would be honored if you joined us on our quest to find our king
terrific
we have to find king Arthur . come on Willy
??? find king Arthur ??? find king Arthur . i've got to do something quick quick
found it's my comrades of the round table
a witch Vanda has taken over merlin's castle
before we could fight back she had Merlin trapped and us magically put here
let's get these chains off
i'll bet you king arthur is somewhere in that castle
your majesty Sport Billy has freed the knights
and they're headed this way
i know that why don't you tell me something i don't know
but you know everything . there is one thing i don't know
why i don't turn you into a banana
or a frog like this
please your super evilness don't do that
one of these days . but first Sport Billy
do you have a plan my super badness
a plan and my very own knight a cybernetic robot
king Arthur and Merlin must be in there
somehow we have to get across the moat
Willy and i go in let down the drawbridge then you can storm the castle
come on willy we're going up in the world
me why allways me iam watch dog let me watch
oh i always knew there would be days like this
king Arthur king Arthur . who is that?
excuse the less informal entrance your majesty but we're here to rescue you
king Arthur king Arthur . who is that?
excuse the less informal entrance your majesty but we're here to rescue you
the knights are waiting outside the castle get to the drawbridge and open it . i'll find Merlin
Vanda has cast a spell on him he's trapped in glass in the great hall
Willy Willy
we're all depending on you . you've got to break through vanda's barriers
now lower that drawbridge
???
here are the keys you drive
fine
today a castle tomorrow the grand parade honk honk
what's that sound
Sajp
guards yes your majesty . ??? Sport Billy is in the castle
now that's what i call a spell . come ???
Sport Billy is here get him
there's the drawbridge
i think this is doing it the hard way
success is wonderful when you got it you got it
the drawbridge is down Billy made it
for king and Camelot
you'd better worry about yourself first sport Billy
get him
get him get him
now for a little magic of my own
my plans have been ruined
Merlin
Billy
well don't stand there get that witch
you may have won the battle Sport Billy but not the war . i will be back
your evilness your evilness please please don't leave me here
oh Sajp i wouldn't leave without my favorite frog
oh no no
sport billy the people of Camelot owe you great debt
not just me your majesty it was all of us
a team effort
neil Sport Billy i dub the sir Sport Billy knight of the round table
woof woof . and what have we here of course another hero i dub thee sir Willy
and now for some games
this is one of my favorite games . haven't thought of a name for it though
how about calling it soccer
soccer i like that . would you like to play
we'll have to take a rain check on that your majesty
we've got a 20th century soccer game to play
but won't you stay for the feast
sorry sir we must leave
hey speak for yourself
well then my friends goodbye and thank you
well it all worked out well Billy
everything is just like it was before
even better
knights and white horses and castles and a real magicians
it sure was fun being back in King Arthur's time
and we saved soccer for the whole world
oh they're good kids i probably couldn't have done it without them
teamwork is what makes soccer such a great game
and that's how we defeated Vanda with teamwork together
(you and me)
(you and me we can make it)
(together we can make it)
(it just takes working together)
(day after day it keeps on getting better better)
(you and me we can make it.
we can make it)
(together yeah we can make it .
we can make it)
(you and me we can make it .
we can make it)
(together yeah we can make it we can make it)
(you and me we can make it)
(Sport Billy)
(Your a hero from another planet Sport Billy)
(And you were chosen for a special mission Sport Billy)
And now youve come to earth to fight for good sportsmanship
(And with that undersack theres magic in your hand Sport Billy)
(A traveler in time you fight for goodness Sport Billy)
(Queen Vanda shes the evil one)
(And you can do it with your friends hand in hand Sport Billy)
(He’s coming to the rescue Sport Billy)
(Good sport Sport Billy)