SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 4, Episode 7 - Enemy In-Law/Mermaidman and Barnacleboy VI: The Motion Picture - full transcript
Enemy-In-Law: Mr. Krabs' Mom is dating again, and it seems like things could be serious. Mr. Krabs tries to be happy for his mother, but he is absolutely horrified when he learns that the ...
Are you ready, kids?
Aye, aye, Captain!
I can't hear you.
Aye, aye, Captain!
Run for it, man!
Oh, good, the lunch rush.
Now that my Chumbot has dropped
you into my clutches,
you'll be forced to eat
at the Chum Bucket!
What?
You kidnapped us
just to sell us your fast food?
Come on, it's a standard
marketing technique.
You little twerp!
Hey!
He's right.
Karen!
You think
I'm a twerp?
Well, yes,
but I was referring
to the kidnapping.
Everything I do is
always wrong in your eyes!
Maybe it's because
you arealways wrong.
Fine-- I'm wrong, you're right.
You said it, not me.
Why did I ever install
that nagging software?
Nagging software?
I heard that!
Dust my screen!
Oh, money,
you're always there for me.
Hello, Eugene.
Mother!
What brings you by today?
I just wanted to see
me favorite son.
How much of my money
do you want?
Well, I did see
the prettiest hat in town today.
Oh, look at the time!
So sorry to have
to rush off.
Bye, bye.
Whew, that was a close one.
Why did I ever buy
that computer wife?
I need a realwoman--
not a girl
in a cold, hard shell.
Such beauty.
She's an angel; and no wires!
I've never felt
like this before.
I don't even know her name,
and yet she's stolen my heart.
Plankton!
You've fallen in love
with another woman?
I'm your wife!
You're a W.I.F.E.:
wired integrated female
electroencephalograph.
Oh! You always pull thatone out!
"You're not a real wife.
You're just a computer!"
Aah! Why don't you have
an "off" switch?
Plankton, don't you dare...
And now to woo
that beloved creature.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
World domination
has nothing on you.
Hmm, I guess
she's not a poetry fan.
Poetry, love notes--
nothing's working.
Maybe something personal.
Am I really that pretty?
Oh, yeah...
I am smooth.
Just dial the number
and ask her to dinner.
Come on, you can do this.
Hello?
I'm hanging up.
Wait!
It's your secret admirer.
Oh, you're that giant robot?
No.
I program the robot.
Did you enjoy the gift
I sent you?
How did you know I wanted a hat?
Have you been spying on me?
It was... just a lucky guess.
I've admired you from afar
for too long, my angel.
We must meet face-to-face.
Well, how about the Krusty Krab
tonight at 8:00?
Sounds wonderful.
I'll be the tall fellow
wearing a red carnation.
Until tonight... my dear.
Ah! Quick, SpongeBob,
swallow me wallet!
Okay.
Oh, sorry, Mommy.
I can't lend you
any money.
SpongeBob accidentally
swallowed me wallet.
Mommy, you got
yourself a hat
without me financial
assistance!
Isn't it nice, Eugene?
It's just the one I wanted.
But, Mommy, you
shouldn't be spending
my inheritance...
I mean, since you told me
you wanted a hat,
I dug one up.
Where did you get
this old thing?
She looks so peaceful.
Yeah, but wasn't
she wearing a hat?
You can take this back
to the trash heap.
Yes, Mommy.
Squidward, make
a return for me!
Thank ye for your concern
about me finances,
but me new boyfriend
bought me this hat.
Boyfriend?
Someone to spend money...
"time" with you?
That's wonderful!
Who is he?
What's his name?
I don't know.
I'm meeting him here tonight.
Wonderful!
I'll stay open late
so ye can have a nice,
romantic dinner.
Run along,
make yourself pretty.
SpongeBob, you're working late!
No overtime!
I've reservations
for two tonight.
Right this way, sir.
Excuse me!
I can't reach my silverware!
Terribly sorry, sir.
Will there be
anything else?
Is my tie on straight?
You look fabulous!
Your gentleman
caller awaits.
Hello, my dear.
I must say you look
ravishing tonight.
Oh my, you're
a tiny thing,
but awfully cute.
Tell me about yourself.
Well, I'm in
the food service business.
I'm a bit of a restaurateur.
I'm the founder
and owner of the Chum Bucket.
Never heard of it.
It's across the street.
Doesn't ring a bell.
It's on the back
of the phone book.
Come on, I paid a lot of money
for that ad!
Never mind, never mind.
I'd like to hear about you.
Well...
Plankton!
Krabs!
Eugene!
Mommy?
"Mommy"?
SpongeBob!
SpongeBob!
This delectable creature
is yourmother?
This no-good conniving
chiseler is your date?
And this handsome sponge
is your waiter.
SpongeBob!
I don't know what sort of
skullduggery you're up to,
and I'm not waiting
to find out.
Eugene, you put
me boyfriend down
this instant.
Boyfriend?
But, Mommy...
You heard the lady.
Let me go.
That's more like it.
Come, Plankton.
I'm sorry me son
had to spoil our
romantic evening.
Mommy?
You!
Eugene.
I came to warn you,
Plankton.
Stay away from me mother!
I know what you're
really up to!
I'm serious, Eugene.
I've changed my ways.
And all it took was
the love of a beautiful woman.
All you love is
thieving and conniving.
Now, stop trying
to get the formula
out of me mother.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about
the Krabby Patty formula!
Your mother knows
the Krabby Patty formula?
Don't play stupid with me.
Of course she does.
It's an old
Krabs family recipe.
And you're not family.
I'm telling you
for the last time:
stay away from me mother.
Not family, eh?
Well, I can fix that.
Eugene!
Mommy!
What did I tell ye about
interfering in me life?
Mommy, can't you see?
He's trying to seduce the
Krabby Patty formula from you.
For your information, Eugene,
he hasn't asked me once
about the formula.
I doubt that he even knows
that I know it.
Uh, yeah...
funny thing about that.
I forbid ye to interfere
in me private business.
Go to your office.
Now!
Yes, Mommy.
Somebody call heaven;
I think an angel's gone missing.
Oh, Sheldon.
Oh, Mrs. Krabs.
Oh, brother.
Attention, everyone.
I'd like to make
an announcement.
Mrs. Krabs, in full view
of this restaurant,
I ask you for your hand
in holy matrimony.
Aw!
Would you marry me?
Aah, that's it!
No more hiding in my room
like a scared little kid.
It's time to act like a man.
Gasp!
Please don't marry him,
Mommy.
Don't marry
this bad, bad man.
I don't want you to!
Too late, Krabsy!
We're going
to be married.
And you're going to be
my new son.
What's this, honey bunch?
I am flattered
by your offer.
Really I am.
But I'm just not ready
for that kind of commitment.
Hah!
What is this?
There's somebody else,
isn't there?
I... I...
This is very uncomfortable.
I'll just wait in the car.
I don't believe this!
You led me on!
Now, now, Plankton,
it's not what ye think.
I don't want to hear
your lies!
You owe me for leading
me on like this!
Give me the Krabby Patty
formula, and we'll call it even.
The formula?!
Is that what this whole
thing was about?
No, no, not really.
I mean, not at first.
I mean, uh...
Honey bunch?
Oh, well, 'tis better
to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all!
Working.
So you've decided to come
crawling back to me, huh?
What did you say?
Nothing, dear.
Yeah, that's what
I thought you said,
honey bunch.
It's Mermaidman!
Savior of the deep!
And his young, fit servant,
Barnacleboy!
Mermaidman and
Barnacleboy...
unite!
Kelp-Thing, this is a posted
no-parking zone.
But I must do what I do.
Evil can't park here
between the hours
of 6:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m.!
Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy
Fan Club members
unite!
Unite!
And now, the second
order of business,
Drippy Brothers Studios
is currently in production
on the Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie!
Ooh...
Oh, boy, Patrick,
I can hardly wait to see
our favorite heroes
on the big screen!
Third order of business,
the special surprise guest.
The stars of the Mermaidman
movie are here tonight!
Directly from the set,
here they are!
Hello, little heroes.
You're not Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy.
You're fakes.
Well, of course
we are-- we're actors.
Actors?
How can you make
a Mermaidman movie
without the real
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy?
Listen, kid, this is
an action movie!
Your has-been heroes
are too oldfor action.
Mermaidman
is timeless.
Yeah!
I think I speak
for everyone here
when I say we won't stand
for these two
phony baloneys
ruining the good name
of our heroes.
No right-minded Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy society member
would ever pay to see this...
this celluloid hoax.
I say we boycott this movie!
Now who's with me?!
Traitors!
Wait till we tell
Mermaidman about this!
B-47.
Bonko!
It's "Bingo"!
Get your hands
off me, woman!
A-29.
Too old for
an action movie...
What is it
this time, kid?
Are you aware that Drippy
Brothers Studios is making
the Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie?
They can't be making
a movie about us!
But they are.
And they're using...
actors.
They have shunned
our heroes.
And they weren't nice
to them either.
Now our dreams of
being big-screen heroes
will never come true!
Well, that makes it
even worse!
You bet it does, kid.
And the worst part is
I can't remember why
I started crying.
Why don't we just make
our own movie?
Patrick, once again you have
exposed your brilliance!
We'll make a real Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie!
Right here at Shady Shoals.
You will?
Yes!
And in doing so, we will
right the wrong done to you
by the evil Drippy Brothers
Studios and...
their actors.
Vindication is ours!
Vindi...
How did I
get up here?
Okay, Patrick,
what do we need
to start a movie?
Popcorn?
No, Patrick, to start
making a movie.
Let's start with...
the title.
Yeah, yeah.
Ooh! I got one!
"Adventures in
the Underground City."
Great, Pat!
What happens?
Well, there's a city...
City...
and it's underground...
Underground...
and they have an adventure!
Adventure...
The end.
End.
That's great, Pat!
Hmm, seems kinda short.
I have an idea!
Let's make it longer.
Longer, yes!
Okay, let's have
Mermaidman
get his face shrunk
by Kelp-Thing's face minimizer.
Yeah, and then he, um...
he drinks... cheese coffee!
Good one, Pat.
What are
ye lads doing?
We're making
a movie.
Great!
I got cinema's newest
star right here.
What do you say, lad?
Sure, Mr. Krabs,
Pearl can be in our movie.
I wasn't talking about Pearl.
I was talking about
the Krabby Patty.
You can be
in it, too, Pearl.
I'm going to be a movie star!
Let's meet
the highly skilled
professionals
who will help us
fulfill your dream
of being on
the big screen.
Sandy will handle
the stunts and explosives.
Howdy!
Pearl is
the leading lady.
Mr. Krabs will
cater the affair.
Patrick will
run the camera.
Hey...
This is Squidward.
He's in charge of
the makeup department.
Uh, no, thanks.
Who wants to be
the "makeup department"?
Not makeup department,
you're the makeup artist.
Artist?
Makeup artist.
In that case, let's make those
old crabapples sizzle.
Time for the art-eest
to go to work.
Voilà!
Okay, places, everybody!
Squidward, are
our heroes ready?
As they'll ever be.
They're beautiful!
They look just like
they did 30 years ago.
Okay, action!
I love my new job!
Good job, Sandy!
Psst...
I, Man Ray,
have returned
from the murky depths
to seek my revenge
and banish your souls
to the nether regions!
Their defenses
are strong.
But they're no match
for my Man-Ray ray!
What are you doing?
SpongeBob, this role
was made for me.
That villain isn't
even in this movie.
But let me see if we
have something
that fits your
qualifications.
Oh, here's something.
You can be the boom operator!
I thought Sandy
was the boom operator!
Did somebody
say "boom"?
All right, SpongeBob.
But you're squandering
my talents!
Okay, Patrick,
start the movie!
Take one.
We have to get back those
swollen Krabby Patties.
Cut!
No, Mermaidman,
it's "stolen Krabby Patties."
Take Two.
We have to get back
to those stolen
maggie daddies.
Cut!
No, Mermaidman,
it's "stolen Krabby Patties"!
Take 5,003.
We have to get back
those stolen Krabby Patties!
And if we don't stop
that diabolical scoundrel...
Give it back!
I knew this was a bad idea.
Cut!
Plankton, next time, could you
keep the boom out of the shot?
Other than that,
you're doing a super job.
This is humiliating.
I'm not good
at this boom thing.
Did somebody say "boom"?
Oh, Daddy...
you said I was going
to be a star!
You are, Pearl.
Mermaidman wouldn't get
anywhere without you.
Go out there
and break a leg!
Yeah!
Okay, action!
To the boatmobile!
Cue sound effects!
Listen to that engine purr.
Almost there!
Good morning,
SpongeBob.
Everything's ruined!
Well, at least we got
the footage!
Yeah, I got the footage!
Patrick, what is that?
Oh, it's a camera.
No, Patrick, this.
Oh, that's a lens cap.
Did you just put that on?!
No, I didn't want to lose it,
so I put it there right
before we started filming.
The movie's ruined!
We can't make a movie!
Hey, little hero,
this reminds me
of Episode 912.
We were surrounded.
The Kelp-Thing was to our right
and there was broccoli
on the side.
But if there's one
thing I remember,
it's how to forget.
Patrick, this is good.
Roll the film.
The rain in Spain
stays mainly on the...
Space! The final countdown!
Stick to the... stick to the...
Loo, my darling!
Lou!
Now get out there
and finish this movie, kid.
Mr. Krabs, why
are you weeping?
I closed early for your movie.
Where are the paying customers?!
You promised a full house!
And here comes
the filling!
The Mermaidman and
Barnacleboy Fan Club.
I knew you'd come see
the real Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie.
Actually, the real movie
was sold out.
I'll take
200 tickets, please.
Now, this is what I call
a happy ending.
Well, our big moment,
us up on the big screen.
Fort Lox,
home to over
five billion Krabby Patties.
What evil mastermind would dare
infiltrate this fortified fort
and make off with its treasure?
It is I... Kelp-Thing!
Do what I do!
Stop!
You can't do that...
Forbidden!
Watch me!
Prepare to feel my wrath,
you foul villain.
You may have won
the Krabby Patties,
but the battle rages on.
Mermaidman... nacleboy...
unite!
Well, kid,
you showed the world
that even though our steps
may have been slowed,
we still have
a little action left
in these heroic old bones.
Well, at least
some of them.
Aye, aye, Captain!
I can't hear you.
Aye, aye, Captain!
Run for it, man!
Oh, good, the lunch rush.
Now that my Chumbot has dropped
you into my clutches,
you'll be forced to eat
at the Chum Bucket!
What?
You kidnapped us
just to sell us your fast food?
Come on, it's a standard
marketing technique.
You little twerp!
Hey!
He's right.
Karen!
You think
I'm a twerp?
Well, yes,
but I was referring
to the kidnapping.
Everything I do is
always wrong in your eyes!
Maybe it's because
you arealways wrong.
Fine-- I'm wrong, you're right.
You said it, not me.
Why did I ever install
that nagging software?
Nagging software?
I heard that!
Dust my screen!
Oh, money,
you're always there for me.
Hello, Eugene.
Mother!
What brings you by today?
I just wanted to see
me favorite son.
How much of my money
do you want?
Well, I did see
the prettiest hat in town today.
Oh, look at the time!
So sorry to have
to rush off.
Bye, bye.
Whew, that was a close one.
Why did I ever buy
that computer wife?
I need a realwoman--
not a girl
in a cold, hard shell.
Such beauty.
She's an angel; and no wires!
I've never felt
like this before.
I don't even know her name,
and yet she's stolen my heart.
Plankton!
You've fallen in love
with another woman?
I'm your wife!
You're a W.I.F.E.:
wired integrated female
electroencephalograph.
Oh! You always pull thatone out!
"You're not a real wife.
You're just a computer!"
Aah! Why don't you have
an "off" switch?
Plankton, don't you dare...
And now to woo
that beloved creature.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
World domination
has nothing on you.
Hmm, I guess
she's not a poetry fan.
Poetry, love notes--
nothing's working.
Maybe something personal.
Am I really that pretty?
Oh, yeah...
I am smooth.
Just dial the number
and ask her to dinner.
Come on, you can do this.
Hello?
I'm hanging up.
Wait!
It's your secret admirer.
Oh, you're that giant robot?
No.
I program the robot.
Did you enjoy the gift
I sent you?
How did you know I wanted a hat?
Have you been spying on me?
It was... just a lucky guess.
I've admired you from afar
for too long, my angel.
We must meet face-to-face.
Well, how about the Krusty Krab
tonight at 8:00?
Sounds wonderful.
I'll be the tall fellow
wearing a red carnation.
Until tonight... my dear.
Ah! Quick, SpongeBob,
swallow me wallet!
Okay.
Oh, sorry, Mommy.
I can't lend you
any money.
SpongeBob accidentally
swallowed me wallet.
Mommy, you got
yourself a hat
without me financial
assistance!
Isn't it nice, Eugene?
It's just the one I wanted.
But, Mommy, you
shouldn't be spending
my inheritance...
I mean, since you told me
you wanted a hat,
I dug one up.
Where did you get
this old thing?
She looks so peaceful.
Yeah, but wasn't
she wearing a hat?
You can take this back
to the trash heap.
Yes, Mommy.
Squidward, make
a return for me!
Thank ye for your concern
about me finances,
but me new boyfriend
bought me this hat.
Boyfriend?
Someone to spend money...
"time" with you?
That's wonderful!
Who is he?
What's his name?
I don't know.
I'm meeting him here tonight.
Wonderful!
I'll stay open late
so ye can have a nice,
romantic dinner.
Run along,
make yourself pretty.
SpongeBob, you're working late!
No overtime!
I've reservations
for two tonight.
Right this way, sir.
Excuse me!
I can't reach my silverware!
Terribly sorry, sir.
Will there be
anything else?
Is my tie on straight?
You look fabulous!
Your gentleman
caller awaits.
Hello, my dear.
I must say you look
ravishing tonight.
Oh my, you're
a tiny thing,
but awfully cute.
Tell me about yourself.
Well, I'm in
the food service business.
I'm a bit of a restaurateur.
I'm the founder
and owner of the Chum Bucket.
Never heard of it.
It's across the street.
Doesn't ring a bell.
It's on the back
of the phone book.
Come on, I paid a lot of money
for that ad!
Never mind, never mind.
I'd like to hear about you.
Well...
Plankton!
Krabs!
Eugene!
Mommy?
"Mommy"?
SpongeBob!
SpongeBob!
This delectable creature
is yourmother?
This no-good conniving
chiseler is your date?
And this handsome sponge
is your waiter.
SpongeBob!
I don't know what sort of
skullduggery you're up to,
and I'm not waiting
to find out.
Eugene, you put
me boyfriend down
this instant.
Boyfriend?
But, Mommy...
You heard the lady.
Let me go.
That's more like it.
Come, Plankton.
I'm sorry me son
had to spoil our
romantic evening.
Mommy?
You!
Eugene.
I came to warn you,
Plankton.
Stay away from me mother!
I know what you're
really up to!
I'm serious, Eugene.
I've changed my ways.
And all it took was
the love of a beautiful woman.
All you love is
thieving and conniving.
Now, stop trying
to get the formula
out of me mother.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about
the Krabby Patty formula!
Your mother knows
the Krabby Patty formula?
Don't play stupid with me.
Of course she does.
It's an old
Krabs family recipe.
And you're not family.
I'm telling you
for the last time:
stay away from me mother.
Not family, eh?
Well, I can fix that.
Eugene!
Mommy!
What did I tell ye about
interfering in me life?
Mommy, can't you see?
He's trying to seduce the
Krabby Patty formula from you.
For your information, Eugene,
he hasn't asked me once
about the formula.
I doubt that he even knows
that I know it.
Uh, yeah...
funny thing about that.
I forbid ye to interfere
in me private business.
Go to your office.
Now!
Yes, Mommy.
Somebody call heaven;
I think an angel's gone missing.
Oh, Sheldon.
Oh, Mrs. Krabs.
Oh, brother.
Attention, everyone.
I'd like to make
an announcement.
Mrs. Krabs, in full view
of this restaurant,
I ask you for your hand
in holy matrimony.
Aw!
Would you marry me?
Aah, that's it!
No more hiding in my room
like a scared little kid.
It's time to act like a man.
Gasp!
Please don't marry him,
Mommy.
Don't marry
this bad, bad man.
I don't want you to!
Too late, Krabsy!
We're going
to be married.
And you're going to be
my new son.
What's this, honey bunch?
I am flattered
by your offer.
Really I am.
But I'm just not ready
for that kind of commitment.
Hah!
What is this?
There's somebody else,
isn't there?
I... I...
This is very uncomfortable.
I'll just wait in the car.
I don't believe this!
You led me on!
Now, now, Plankton,
it's not what ye think.
I don't want to hear
your lies!
You owe me for leading
me on like this!
Give me the Krabby Patty
formula, and we'll call it even.
The formula?!
Is that what this whole
thing was about?
No, no, not really.
I mean, not at first.
I mean, uh...
Honey bunch?
Oh, well, 'tis better
to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all!
Working.
So you've decided to come
crawling back to me, huh?
What did you say?
Nothing, dear.
Yeah, that's what
I thought you said,
honey bunch.
It's Mermaidman!
Savior of the deep!
And his young, fit servant,
Barnacleboy!
Mermaidman and
Barnacleboy...
unite!
Kelp-Thing, this is a posted
no-parking zone.
But I must do what I do.
Evil can't park here
between the hours
of 6:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m.!
Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy
Fan Club members
unite!
Unite!
And now, the second
order of business,
Drippy Brothers Studios
is currently in production
on the Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie!
Ooh...
Oh, boy, Patrick,
I can hardly wait to see
our favorite heroes
on the big screen!
Third order of business,
the special surprise guest.
The stars of the Mermaidman
movie are here tonight!
Directly from the set,
here they are!
Hello, little heroes.
You're not Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy.
You're fakes.
Well, of course
we are-- we're actors.
Actors?
How can you make
a Mermaidman movie
without the real
Mermaidman and Barnacleboy?
Listen, kid, this is
an action movie!
Your has-been heroes
are too oldfor action.
Mermaidman
is timeless.
Yeah!
I think I speak
for everyone here
when I say we won't stand
for these two
phony baloneys
ruining the good name
of our heroes.
No right-minded Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy society member
would ever pay to see this...
this celluloid hoax.
I say we boycott this movie!
Now who's with me?!
Traitors!
Wait till we tell
Mermaidman about this!
B-47.
Bonko!
It's "Bingo"!
Get your hands
off me, woman!
A-29.
Too old for
an action movie...
What is it
this time, kid?
Are you aware that Drippy
Brothers Studios is making
the Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie?
They can't be making
a movie about us!
But they are.
And they're using...
actors.
They have shunned
our heroes.
And they weren't nice
to them either.
Now our dreams of
being big-screen heroes
will never come true!
Well, that makes it
even worse!
You bet it does, kid.
And the worst part is
I can't remember why
I started crying.
Why don't we just make
our own movie?
Patrick, once again you have
exposed your brilliance!
We'll make a real Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie!
Right here at Shady Shoals.
You will?
Yes!
And in doing so, we will
right the wrong done to you
by the evil Drippy Brothers
Studios and...
their actors.
Vindication is ours!
Vindi...
How did I
get up here?
Okay, Patrick,
what do we need
to start a movie?
Popcorn?
No, Patrick, to start
making a movie.
Let's start with...
the title.
Yeah, yeah.
Ooh! I got one!
"Adventures in
the Underground City."
Great, Pat!
What happens?
Well, there's a city...
City...
and it's underground...
Underground...
and they have an adventure!
Adventure...
The end.
End.
That's great, Pat!
Hmm, seems kinda short.
I have an idea!
Let's make it longer.
Longer, yes!
Okay, let's have
Mermaidman
get his face shrunk
by Kelp-Thing's face minimizer.
Yeah, and then he, um...
he drinks... cheese coffee!
Good one, Pat.
What are
ye lads doing?
We're making
a movie.
Great!
I got cinema's newest
star right here.
What do you say, lad?
Sure, Mr. Krabs,
Pearl can be in our movie.
I wasn't talking about Pearl.
I was talking about
the Krabby Patty.
You can be
in it, too, Pearl.
I'm going to be a movie star!
Let's meet
the highly skilled
professionals
who will help us
fulfill your dream
of being on
the big screen.
Sandy will handle
the stunts and explosives.
Howdy!
Pearl is
the leading lady.
Mr. Krabs will
cater the affair.
Patrick will
run the camera.
Hey...
This is Squidward.
He's in charge of
the makeup department.
Uh, no, thanks.
Who wants to be
the "makeup department"?
Not makeup department,
you're the makeup artist.
Artist?
Makeup artist.
In that case, let's make those
old crabapples sizzle.
Time for the art-eest
to go to work.
Voilà!
Okay, places, everybody!
Squidward, are
our heroes ready?
As they'll ever be.
They're beautiful!
They look just like
they did 30 years ago.
Okay, action!
I love my new job!
Good job, Sandy!
Psst...
I, Man Ray,
have returned
from the murky depths
to seek my revenge
and banish your souls
to the nether regions!
Their defenses
are strong.
But they're no match
for my Man-Ray ray!
What are you doing?
SpongeBob, this role
was made for me.
That villain isn't
even in this movie.
But let me see if we
have something
that fits your
qualifications.
Oh, here's something.
You can be the boom operator!
I thought Sandy
was the boom operator!
Did somebody
say "boom"?
All right, SpongeBob.
But you're squandering
my talents!
Okay, Patrick,
start the movie!
Take one.
We have to get back those
swollen Krabby Patties.
Cut!
No, Mermaidman,
it's "stolen Krabby Patties."
Take Two.
We have to get back
to those stolen
maggie daddies.
Cut!
No, Mermaidman,
it's "stolen Krabby Patties"!
Take 5,003.
We have to get back
those stolen Krabby Patties!
And if we don't stop
that diabolical scoundrel...
Give it back!
I knew this was a bad idea.
Cut!
Plankton, next time, could you
keep the boom out of the shot?
Other than that,
you're doing a super job.
This is humiliating.
I'm not good
at this boom thing.
Did somebody say "boom"?
Oh, Daddy...
you said I was going
to be a star!
You are, Pearl.
Mermaidman wouldn't get
anywhere without you.
Go out there
and break a leg!
Yeah!
Okay, action!
To the boatmobile!
Cue sound effects!
Listen to that engine purr.
Almost there!
Good morning,
SpongeBob.
Everything's ruined!
Well, at least we got
the footage!
Yeah, I got the footage!
Patrick, what is that?
Oh, it's a camera.
No, Patrick, this.
Oh, that's a lens cap.
Did you just put that on?!
No, I didn't want to lose it,
so I put it there right
before we started filming.
The movie's ruined!
We can't make a movie!
Hey, little hero,
this reminds me
of Episode 912.
We were surrounded.
The Kelp-Thing was to our right
and there was broccoli
on the side.
But if there's one
thing I remember,
it's how to forget.
Patrick, this is good.
Roll the film.
The rain in Spain
stays mainly on the...
Space! The final countdown!
Stick to the... stick to the...
Loo, my darling!
Lou!
Now get out there
and finish this movie, kid.
Mr. Krabs, why
are you weeping?
I closed early for your movie.
Where are the paying customers?!
You promised a full house!
And here comes
the filling!
The Mermaidman and
Barnacleboy Fan Club.
I knew you'd come see
the real Mermaidman
and Barnacleboy movie.
Actually, the real movie
was sold out.
I'll take
200 tickets, please.
Now, this is what I call
a happy ending.
Well, our big moment,
us up on the big screen.
Fort Lox,
home to over
five billion Krabby Patties.
What evil mastermind would dare
infiltrate this fortified fort
and make off with its treasure?
It is I... Kelp-Thing!
Do what I do!
Stop!
You can't do that...
Forbidden!
Watch me!
Prepare to feel my wrath,
you foul villain.
You may have won
the Krabby Patties,
but the battle rages on.
Mermaidman... nacleboy...
unite!
Well, kid,
you showed the world
that even though our steps
may have been slowed,
we still have
a little action left
in these heroic old bones.
Well, at least
some of them.