SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 4, Episode 10 - Ghost Host/Chimps Ahoy - full transcript
SpongeBob and Patrick have to take over some of Sandy's responsibilities to take some of the pressures off while she prepares for a visit from the chimps; The Flying Dutchman can't control his shapeshifting powers to haunt people.
Are you ready, kids?
Aye, aye, Captain!
I can't hear you.
Aye, aye, Captain!
It's here!
Behold, Patrick!
The official Goofy Goober back scratcher!
And it only cost me 52 box tops.
Whoa.
Ooh. Mm-hmm.
Whoo!
Oh, yeah, that's it.
Let me try!
Uh... Patrick,
that's not the back scratcher.
That's my arm.
Oh. Sorry.
You know, we shouldn't keep this all to ourselves.
We should let Squidward try it out.
Yeah! Onward...
...to Squidward's house!
Go away!
To Sandy's house!
Hey, Sandy, you gotta see this.
Sandy?
What's going on here?
Sandy, are you okay?
What's wrong, Sandy?
They're coming! They're coming!
The chimps are coming? Who?
My bosses!
They're coming for an inspection!
I've worked day and night for a week,
but none of my inventions are any good.
If I don't have a real impressive
invention by this afternoon,
they'll cut my funding,
and I'll have to leave Bikini Bottom.
Oh, come on, Sandy.
I'll bet you invented lots of useful things.
This helmet looks impressive.
What's it do?
It lets you talk to nuts.
What use is that?
SpongeBob to Peanut.
Come in, Peanut.
What's it saying?
It says... "It's dark in here."
Got anything else, Sandy?
There's my nuttachino machine.
It makes a nice hot, frothy cup of any nut you choose.
And lastly, my fully automated nutcracker.
Oh! I can't even make a simple nutcracker.
So, it's got a few bugs.
Patrick and I'll help you fix it.
Right, Patrick?
Patrick?
Everything'll be fine.
Oh, it's no use, SpongeBob.
I just have to face facts.
I'll be leaving Bikini Bottom because...
I'm a failure.
We can't let Sandy leave, Patrick.
What'll we do?
They're looking for an invention, right?
Right.
So let's start inventing!
Yeah!
It's time to get serious, Patrick.
Right!
I made an invention!
It's a stick that you can draw or write stuff with.
That's a pencil, Patrick.
It's already been invented.
Ooh! Ooh! This is a good one.
It's a glass ball that lights up,
so you can see in the dark.
Light bulb, already invented.
SpongeBob. I know this one will work.
I've invented a parallel universe.
That's a mirror, Patrick.
It's already been invented.
Somebody keeps stealing my ideas.
Well, I thought it was a pretty good idea.
Ohh... I give up.
I'll never invent anything.
♪ So long, Bikini Bottom
♪ If'n I start to cry
♪ So long, Bikini Bottom
♪ To your stingin' jellyfish
♪ That I've come to love
♪ To the flowers up above
♪ Farewell, Bikini Bottom
♪ Now, I really hate to go
I'm ashamed of myself, Patrick.
I gave up too quickly.
We'll build Sandy's bosses an invention so amazing,
they'll give Sandy funding forever.
We've done it, Patrick!
We created the greatest invention
the world has ever seen!
Patrick, they're here!
Who? Sandy's bosses.
The reason we spent all afternoon inventing.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Good day, gentlemen.
Allow me to introduce ourselves.
I am Professor Percy.
This is Dr. Marmalade.
At your service.
And this is Lord Reginald.
Charmed.
You guys talk funny.
Say more words!
We are the board of directors
of Tree Dome Enterprises Limited,
and we are here to ascertain
if Miss Cheek's inventions are up to snuff.
Why, everyone in town has benefited
from Sandy's scientific knowledge.
Before Sandy showed up, I used to be a scrawny weakling.
And I used to be dumb.
Quite.
And whom do I have the pleasure
of addressing?
My name is SpongeBob.
And I am Professor Patrick.
Professor?
Doctor Professor Patrick.
Don't mind him. You know how interns are.
Where is Miss Cheeks?
She should be back any moment.
I thought she ran away
because she couldn't invent anything.
Patrick.
That's Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick to you!
Don't you think it's time to show them Sandy's invention,
Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick?
Good idea.
Well?
Hey, you'rethe unpaid intern.
You do the work.
Gentlemen, I can say without exaggeration,
that this is the most important invention
in the history of the universe.
I give you...
the Automatic Back Scratcher,
Hair Comber, Nose Picker and Ukulele Tuner 9000!
This is where our research money went?
Uh-huh. Isn't it great?
An automatic back-scratcher, hair-combing
nose-picking ukulele tuner.
Yes, well, I've heard thatclaim before.
Yes. How do we know this contraption works?
Let's see a demonstration.
Step right up.
You look like you've been neglecting
your personal hygiene.
Me?
Are you sure this is safe?
As sure as I'm a doctor professor.
Patrick, don't you think we should test it?
Okay.
That's not exactly what I had in mind.
Lord Reginald,
are you all right?
Oh, I say.
This is splendid.
Oh, absolutely splendid.
What's this? Oh, marvelous.
This machine has evacuated my nostrils
of unwanted residue in a manner most pleasant.
Good work, Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick.
Thank you, lowly assistant.
Oh, I say, now it's feeding me delicious pudding.
Pudding, I don't remember that part of the invention.
And now it's tuning my ukulele.
Ouch! Ooh!
I say, was that necessary?
You, sir, are impertinent.
Oh, dear.
Lord Reginald, are you all right?
I'm sorry, was that a yes?
Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick, what is the meaning of this?
It's okay.
The horrible screaming
means that it's working.
Oh, I really wish Sandy were here.
All aboard!
Will this bus take you somewhere
when you've got nowhere else to go?
It sure does.
We make stops in Quittersville,
Failuretown and Loserburg.
What in tarnation?
What's with all the monkey business?
Sandy!
SpongeBob.
What the heck is going on here?
Ouch.
It works! It works!
Lord Reginald, are you all right?
I seem to have ruptured my pomposity.
We shall commence closure of this establishment
immediately.
Frankly, I'm beginning to question
the economic benefits of underwater tree domes.
Doesn't make much sense when you get right down to it.
I'm sorry, Sandy.
We were trying to keep you in Bikini Bottom,
but all we did was ruin your chances to stay.
I was about to be fired anyway.
Thanks for trying to help, SpongeBob.
You, too, Patrick.
That's Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick.
Don't push it.
Sorry.
We are departing, Dr. Marmalade.
My word. All of this excitement
has drastically reduced my potassium levels.
Good gracious.
Can it be?
Try it again.
Oh! It is!
It is!
It's the banana peeler
we have been searching 117 years for.
Wow, Sandy, they're going bananas for your nutcracker.
Yeah.
Well, Miss Cheeks,
I must say,
you have exceeded expectations.
It may be the extreme head trauma I've suffered,
but I am going to offer you a 20-year contract
with a substantial pay rise.
I accept.
Hooray!
I expect great things out of you, Miss Cheeks.
Great things.
Perhaps you could put your talents
toward that automatic poop-throwing machine
that's eluded us for so long.
Now, now. One miracle at a time.
Good-bye.
Well, the only thing left is to figure out what to do
with this infernal contraption.
My turn!
Whoo-hoo!
All right!
Curse this cursed, ghostly fog.
I can barely see past me own nose.
Argh.
Me ship.
Hello, roadside assistance?
I've got a bit of a flat!
My location where I'll be staying?
Business or residence?
Residence.
Argh!
The Flying Dutchman!
What are you doing in my house?
I'm stuck here while me ship is being repaired.
Till then, I'm here to haunt ya!
Squidward! Squidward!
Squidward, help!
Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ooh!
Ow! Oh! Ee! Ee! Ow! Oh!
Squidward, you have to help me!
There's a gh-gh-gh, a ghost in my house!
SpongeBob, how many times do I have to tell you,
I don't believe in ghosts, and I never liked you?
Patrick!
Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!
Patrick, you've got to help me!
The Flying Dutch...
man.
Gary!
Don't you dare hurt my little Gary!
Aw, I just wanted to pet the little guy.
There, there, Dutchie's not gonna hurt you.
I love me a good snail.
Gary!
Nothing better than giving a good scare!
Argh!
It's okay, Gary.
Don't get too comfortable!
Good night, Gary.
Um, Dutchie, is this gonna be much longer?
Why aren't you freaking out, lad?
Well, you've been here a while,
and, uh, I've seen all your tricks.
What are you trying to say?
I know when I'm washed up.
I've been doing the same material for years.
Scaring is a young man's game.
It's time to give up the ghost.
No pun intended.
Oh, no, no.
I meant that I'm just used to it, that's all.
Don't lie to me.
You've just got to scare someone other than me.
Mind if I test it out?
Yeah, this does feel comfortable.
Could you excuse me a moment?
Grr!
Rah! Rah!
Boo! Rah!
Ah, forget it.
So, what do you think?
It's official.
I'm not scary anymore.
Just what kind of talk is that?
You're just off your game, that's all.
Maybe I just need a break.
Take some time off, you know?
Sure, relax a little.
Maybe stay with a friend for a while.
On a comfy couch in a pineapple.
Just for a little while longer?
Till I get back on me feet?
Hey, champ, how's it...
Turn it up! Turn the knob up!
Whoo!
Who'd guess we have so much in common?
You like teddy bears; I like teddy bears.
You like ponies; I like ponies.
Is that a wedding ring?
Oh, this? Oh, it's nothing.
What is going on around here?!
Come on, SpongeBob, don't be a stick in the mud.
Look out below!
How was that?
Even better the third time.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no!
Everyone, get out!
All righty, boys, party's over.
Time to scoot honey.
Dutchie, do you want to spend eternity on this couch?
Well, it is comfy.
Look in the mirror.
You're a ghost of your former self.
Ah, you're right, SpongeBob.
I'm pathetic.
Yes, you are.
But we're going to raise you up from your squalid condition
through the use of visual aids.
Watch now.
What in barnacles is it?
A journey into self-awareness.
The power within. The power within.
The power within.
The power within.
The power within.
The power within. The power within.
The power within.
The power within.
The power within.
The power within!
Yeah!
That was beautiful.
Now get off of that couch and into your clothes, Dutchman.
It's time to get serious.
Let's start you off easy.
You think you can take that old lady down there?
What, are you kidding me?
Scaring her is too easy.
Now that's the Flying Dutchman I know.
Let's see you put those words into action.
No problemo, compadre.
Yargh!
Lonnie, is that you?
What? No!
'Tis I, the ominous Flying Dutchman!
Lonnie, there's this great new product called toothpaste.
I think you should try it.
Let's hit it!
Dude, look at your pecs.
You're phenomenal.
Truly a hard body.
Look at those guns.
Now he's got him.
My latissimus dorsi has gone flabby.
I've got to get to a rowing machine.
It's no use, SpongeBob.
I can't seem to scare anyone.
Maybe people just don't believe in ghosts anymore.
Wait a minute!
I think you just gave me the answer to all your problems.
...goblins...
...guilt trip...
Squidward! Squidward!
What's going on?
Why haven't you called me?
Mother?
Why haven't you called your mother?
Uh, Squiddums loves his mama.
Why don't you call me then?
Why don't you call me? Why don't you call me?
I heard you don't believe in ghosts!
Ghosts?
As in the Flying Dutchman!
There's no such thing as ghosts.
No such things.
No such thing as ghosts?
No such thing as ghosts?!
You don't believe in ghosts?!
SpongeBob?
Ooh.
Scary.
No!
No!
That's impossible!
Ghosts! Ghosts!
Dutchie, it worked!
You got your scare back.
And me confidence, too.
Now I feel like I could scare
the living criminy out of anybody!
All thanks to you, my boy.
And maybe your ship will be repaired soon.
Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob.
My ship's been done for three months now.
Well, it was nice rooming with ya.
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.
I left you a little something something for all your trouble.
Now it's high time for me to ruin more souls.
Good ol' Dutchie.
Aye, aye, Captain!
I can't hear you.
Aye, aye, Captain!
It's here!
Behold, Patrick!
The official Goofy Goober back scratcher!
And it only cost me 52 box tops.
Whoa.
Ooh. Mm-hmm.
Whoo!
Oh, yeah, that's it.
Let me try!
Uh... Patrick,
that's not the back scratcher.
That's my arm.
Oh. Sorry.
You know, we shouldn't keep this all to ourselves.
We should let Squidward try it out.
Yeah! Onward...
...to Squidward's house!
Go away!
To Sandy's house!
Hey, Sandy, you gotta see this.
Sandy?
What's going on here?
Sandy, are you okay?
What's wrong, Sandy?
They're coming! They're coming!
The chimps are coming? Who?
My bosses!
They're coming for an inspection!
I've worked day and night for a week,
but none of my inventions are any good.
If I don't have a real impressive
invention by this afternoon,
they'll cut my funding,
and I'll have to leave Bikini Bottom.
Oh, come on, Sandy.
I'll bet you invented lots of useful things.
This helmet looks impressive.
What's it do?
It lets you talk to nuts.
What use is that?
SpongeBob to Peanut.
Come in, Peanut.
What's it saying?
It says... "It's dark in here."
Got anything else, Sandy?
There's my nuttachino machine.
It makes a nice hot, frothy cup of any nut you choose.
And lastly, my fully automated nutcracker.
Oh! I can't even make a simple nutcracker.
So, it's got a few bugs.
Patrick and I'll help you fix it.
Right, Patrick?
Patrick?
Everything'll be fine.
Oh, it's no use, SpongeBob.
I just have to face facts.
I'll be leaving Bikini Bottom because...
I'm a failure.
We can't let Sandy leave, Patrick.
What'll we do?
They're looking for an invention, right?
Right.
So let's start inventing!
Yeah!
It's time to get serious, Patrick.
Right!
I made an invention!
It's a stick that you can draw or write stuff with.
That's a pencil, Patrick.
It's already been invented.
Ooh! Ooh! This is a good one.
It's a glass ball that lights up,
so you can see in the dark.
Light bulb, already invented.
SpongeBob. I know this one will work.
I've invented a parallel universe.
That's a mirror, Patrick.
It's already been invented.
Somebody keeps stealing my ideas.
Well, I thought it was a pretty good idea.
Ohh... I give up.
I'll never invent anything.
♪ So long, Bikini Bottom
♪ If'n I start to cry
♪ So long, Bikini Bottom
♪ To your stingin' jellyfish
♪ That I've come to love
♪ To the flowers up above
♪ Farewell, Bikini Bottom
♪ Now, I really hate to go
I'm ashamed of myself, Patrick.
I gave up too quickly.
We'll build Sandy's bosses an invention so amazing,
they'll give Sandy funding forever.
We've done it, Patrick!
We created the greatest invention
the world has ever seen!
Patrick, they're here!
Who? Sandy's bosses.
The reason we spent all afternoon inventing.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Good day, gentlemen.
Allow me to introduce ourselves.
I am Professor Percy.
This is Dr. Marmalade.
At your service.
And this is Lord Reginald.
Charmed.
You guys talk funny.
Say more words!
We are the board of directors
of Tree Dome Enterprises Limited,
and we are here to ascertain
if Miss Cheek's inventions are up to snuff.
Why, everyone in town has benefited
from Sandy's scientific knowledge.
Before Sandy showed up, I used to be a scrawny weakling.
And I used to be dumb.
Quite.
And whom do I have the pleasure
of addressing?
My name is SpongeBob.
And I am Professor Patrick.
Professor?
Doctor Professor Patrick.
Don't mind him. You know how interns are.
Where is Miss Cheeks?
She should be back any moment.
I thought she ran away
because she couldn't invent anything.
Patrick.
That's Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick to you!
Don't you think it's time to show them Sandy's invention,
Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick?
Good idea.
Well?
Hey, you'rethe unpaid intern.
You do the work.
Gentlemen, I can say without exaggeration,
that this is the most important invention
in the history of the universe.
I give you...
the Automatic Back Scratcher,
Hair Comber, Nose Picker and Ukulele Tuner 9000!
This is where our research money went?
Uh-huh. Isn't it great?
An automatic back-scratcher, hair-combing
nose-picking ukulele tuner.
Yes, well, I've heard thatclaim before.
Yes. How do we know this contraption works?
Let's see a demonstration.
Step right up.
You look like you've been neglecting
your personal hygiene.
Me?
Are you sure this is safe?
As sure as I'm a doctor professor.
Patrick, don't you think we should test it?
Okay.
That's not exactly what I had in mind.
Lord Reginald,
are you all right?
Oh, I say.
This is splendid.
Oh, absolutely splendid.
What's this? Oh, marvelous.
This machine has evacuated my nostrils
of unwanted residue in a manner most pleasant.
Good work, Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick.
Thank you, lowly assistant.
Oh, I say, now it's feeding me delicious pudding.
Pudding, I don't remember that part of the invention.
And now it's tuning my ukulele.
Ouch! Ooh!
I say, was that necessary?
You, sir, are impertinent.
Oh, dear.
Lord Reginald, are you all right?
I'm sorry, was that a yes?
Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick, what is the meaning of this?
It's okay.
The horrible screaming
means that it's working.
Oh, I really wish Sandy were here.
All aboard!
Will this bus take you somewhere
when you've got nowhere else to go?
It sure does.
We make stops in Quittersville,
Failuretown and Loserburg.
What in tarnation?
What's with all the monkey business?
Sandy!
SpongeBob.
What the heck is going on here?
Ouch.
It works! It works!
Lord Reginald, are you all right?
I seem to have ruptured my pomposity.
We shall commence closure of this establishment
immediately.
Frankly, I'm beginning to question
the economic benefits of underwater tree domes.
Doesn't make much sense when you get right down to it.
I'm sorry, Sandy.
We were trying to keep you in Bikini Bottom,
but all we did was ruin your chances to stay.
I was about to be fired anyway.
Thanks for trying to help, SpongeBob.
You, too, Patrick.
That's Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick.
Don't push it.
Sorry.
We are departing, Dr. Marmalade.
My word. All of this excitement
has drastically reduced my potassium levels.
Good gracious.
Can it be?
Try it again.
Oh! It is!
It is!
It's the banana peeler
we have been searching 117 years for.
Wow, Sandy, they're going bananas for your nutcracker.
Yeah.
Well, Miss Cheeks,
I must say,
you have exceeded expectations.
It may be the extreme head trauma I've suffered,
but I am going to offer you a 20-year contract
with a substantial pay rise.
I accept.
Hooray!
I expect great things out of you, Miss Cheeks.
Great things.
Perhaps you could put your talents
toward that automatic poop-throwing machine
that's eluded us for so long.
Now, now. One miracle at a time.
Good-bye.
Well, the only thing left is to figure out what to do
with this infernal contraption.
My turn!
Whoo-hoo!
All right!
Curse this cursed, ghostly fog.
I can barely see past me own nose.
Argh.
Me ship.
Hello, roadside assistance?
I've got a bit of a flat!
My location where I'll be staying?
Business or residence?
Residence.
Argh!
The Flying Dutchman!
What are you doing in my house?
I'm stuck here while me ship is being repaired.
Till then, I'm here to haunt ya!
Squidward! Squidward!
Squidward, help!
Ooh! Ow! Ow! Ooh!
Ow! Oh! Ee! Ee! Ow! Oh!
Squidward, you have to help me!
There's a gh-gh-gh, a ghost in my house!
SpongeBob, how many times do I have to tell you,
I don't believe in ghosts, and I never liked you?
Patrick!
Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!
Patrick, you've got to help me!
The Flying Dutch...
man.
Gary!
Don't you dare hurt my little Gary!
Aw, I just wanted to pet the little guy.
There, there, Dutchie's not gonna hurt you.
I love me a good snail.
Gary!
Nothing better than giving a good scare!
Argh!
It's okay, Gary.
Don't get too comfortable!
Good night, Gary.
Um, Dutchie, is this gonna be much longer?
Why aren't you freaking out, lad?
Well, you've been here a while,
and, uh, I've seen all your tricks.
What are you trying to say?
I know when I'm washed up.
I've been doing the same material for years.
Scaring is a young man's game.
It's time to give up the ghost.
No pun intended.
Oh, no, no.
I meant that I'm just used to it, that's all.
Don't lie to me.
You've just got to scare someone other than me.
Mind if I test it out?
Yeah, this does feel comfortable.
Could you excuse me a moment?
Grr!
Rah! Rah!
Boo! Rah!
Ah, forget it.
So, what do you think?
It's official.
I'm not scary anymore.
Just what kind of talk is that?
You're just off your game, that's all.
Maybe I just need a break.
Take some time off, you know?
Sure, relax a little.
Maybe stay with a friend for a while.
On a comfy couch in a pineapple.
Just for a little while longer?
Till I get back on me feet?
Hey, champ, how's it...
Turn it up! Turn the knob up!
Whoo!
Who'd guess we have so much in common?
You like teddy bears; I like teddy bears.
You like ponies; I like ponies.
Is that a wedding ring?
Oh, this? Oh, it's nothing.
What is going on around here?!
Come on, SpongeBob, don't be a stick in the mud.
Look out below!
How was that?
Even better the third time.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no!
Everyone, get out!
All righty, boys, party's over.
Time to scoot honey.
Dutchie, do you want to spend eternity on this couch?
Well, it is comfy.
Look in the mirror.
You're a ghost of your former self.
Ah, you're right, SpongeBob.
I'm pathetic.
Yes, you are.
But we're going to raise you up from your squalid condition
through the use of visual aids.
Watch now.
What in barnacles is it?
A journey into self-awareness.
The power within. The power within.
The power within.
The power within.
The power within.
The power within. The power within.
The power within.
The power within.
The power within.
The power within!
Yeah!
That was beautiful.
Now get off of that couch and into your clothes, Dutchman.
It's time to get serious.
Let's start you off easy.
You think you can take that old lady down there?
What, are you kidding me?
Scaring her is too easy.
Now that's the Flying Dutchman I know.
Let's see you put those words into action.
No problemo, compadre.
Yargh!
Lonnie, is that you?
What? No!
'Tis I, the ominous Flying Dutchman!
Lonnie, there's this great new product called toothpaste.
I think you should try it.
Let's hit it!
Dude, look at your pecs.
You're phenomenal.
Truly a hard body.
Look at those guns.
Now he's got him.
My latissimus dorsi has gone flabby.
I've got to get to a rowing machine.
It's no use, SpongeBob.
I can't seem to scare anyone.
Maybe people just don't believe in ghosts anymore.
Wait a minute!
I think you just gave me the answer to all your problems.
...goblins...
...guilt trip...
Squidward! Squidward!
What's going on?
Why haven't you called me?
Mother?
Why haven't you called your mother?
Uh, Squiddums loves his mama.
Why don't you call me then?
Why don't you call me? Why don't you call me?
I heard you don't believe in ghosts!
Ghosts?
As in the Flying Dutchman!
There's no such thing as ghosts.
No such things.
No such thing as ghosts?
No such thing as ghosts?!
You don't believe in ghosts?!
SpongeBob?
Ooh.
Scary.
No!
No!
That's impossible!
Ghosts! Ghosts!
Dutchie, it worked!
You got your scare back.
And me confidence, too.
Now I feel like I could scare
the living criminy out of anybody!
All thanks to you, my boy.
And maybe your ship will be repaired soon.
Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob.
My ship's been done for three months now.
Well, it was nice rooming with ya.
Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.
I left you a little something something for all your trouble.
Now it's high time for me to ruin more souls.
Good ol' Dutchie.