SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 11, Episode 13 - Fun-Sized Friends/Grandmum's the Word - full transcript

Are you ready, kids?

all:
Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

all:
Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!



♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

- all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[upbeat tropical music]

♪ ♪

Batter up!

[humming]



♪ ♪

Ah!

Ah, oh.

[grunts]

[grunts]

I got it, I got it.

Wah!

[slurping]

- Whoo-hoo!
- [laughs]

[laughing and cheering]

[laughing]

What are you two dizzy
dingbats doing out here?

Just treasuring our time
together, Squidward.

Well, that time is over.

Say good night,
go to your separate houses,

and be quiet!

[both whimpering]

I can't do it!

I can't be away
from my best friend.

No, it hurts too much!

[both crying]

Oh, will you two
cut it out?

Cut it out...

Squidward,
that's a great idea!

both: It is?

[laughs]

Wow!

My turn!

[groans]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[groans]

Aww.

[both chittering]

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Here you go, Patrick.

Now we never have
to be apart,

even when
we're not together.

This is great.

See you forever, SpongeBob.

Yeah, see you forever, Patrick.

[yawns]

Time for bed, Tiny Patrick.

[cheering, laughing]

[gurgling]

[indistinct shouting]

[laughing]

[humming]

[foghorn blares]

Hmm.

[chuckles]

Uh. Oh.

Ah.

[both laughing]

Ah!

[both snoring]

[both snoring]

[panting]

- Good morning, Squidward.
- Says who?

[chuckles] You sit right
there, my hungry little sailor,

while I whip you up some grub
from the galley.

[both laugh]

Dah, uh-huh.

[humming]

Ah.

[excited laughing]

Ahh.

Hmm?

[whimpers]

Ahhh!

Yah!

[screaming]

Huh?
Careful there, little buddy.

The grill is hot.

[gasps]

Ohhh.

[humming]

[grunts]

[straining]
Huh?

Whee-ah!

Stop!

Bad, Tiny Patrick.

Hmm.

Sorry to do this, little guy,

but I have to keep you safe
while I get some work done.

[whimpers]

Ah-yah.

[groaning]

[whimpers]

[snoring]

[alarm blares]

[both yawn]

Good morning.

[excited cheer]

[grunting]

Aah.

[gulps]

Didn't think I was gonna
be able to eat all that.

But then I did!
[chuckles]

[humming]
Brushy, brushy, brushy.

Come on, Tiny SpongeBob.

You gotta lift
with your back.

[straining]

Oh, oh.
Hey, SpongeBob.

Patrick, hi.

Eeh.

Hmm. Hmm.

[grunts awkwardly]

- [groans]
- [humming]

[grunting]

[inhales deeply]

So, uh,
I'd love to hang out,

but I already have some plans
with Tiny Patrick here.

Oh, yeah, well,
me and Tiny SpongeBob,

we're pretty busy tonight,
so good night.

Good night.

[straining,
frantic chittering]

[upset chittering]

I don't want you getting
into trouble during the night,

so you're gonna stay
in the aquarium

like a good little
sleepy clam.

Ahh!

[straining]

Ahhh!

[angry grunting]

[grunting, straining]

Huh? Hey.

Didn't you used to have
one, two... two arms?

Okay, little buddy.

Let's find that arm of yours.

Oh.
[grumbles]

Nope.

Nope.
Hmm.

- Huh?
- Ah!

Nope. Oh.

Ah-ha!
I got it!

[whimpering]

[straining]

I'll fix you up
in no time.

[chittering]

Good as new.

Ehh.
Huh?

Okay, good night.

[snoring]

Huh?

[snapping]

[snoring]

[panting]

[snores]

[crickets chirping]

[straining]
Oh?

[grunts]

[straining]

[groaning]

Ding!

- [excited grunting]
- Yah!

[grunts]

[snores, mumbles]

Yes, Squidward,
extra mayo, I heard you.

[both whimper]

[both grumble]

[groans softly]

[confused grunts]

Oh, hi, Patrick.

Hey, SpongeBob.

I don't remember us having
a sleepover last night.

[both grunting]

[both cheering]

What's going on, SpongeBob?

Oh, hey, little guys.

You're playing with each other.
So cute.

[both grumble]

[groaning]

[groaning]

[explosion]

[groaning]

[groaning]

[groaning]

Whew.

[panting]

both: Huh?

[grumbling]

Ah, ah.

[exciting chittering]

[humming]

[straining]

[grunts]
Hey!

[excited chittering]

What are they doing,
SpongeBob?

Just trying to live
their lives, Patrick.

Just trying to live
their lives.

Poor little guys.

[straining]

Our world is just too big
for them.

Ohh, I have an idea.

Oh, I hope it's not
another one of your crazy plans

to steal the Krappy Patty
secret formula.

You're thinking
of Plankton, Patrick.

Oh, yeah!

[both panting]

[both panting]

[laughter]

Ta-da!

A tiny home
for my tiny friend.

Ahh!
[chuckles]

[happy gibberish]

Oh, I get it.

[laughs]

Nice work, Patrick.
Whoops!

Almost forgot.

You've got to have
a Gare-Bear.

Oh, yay!

Ohh. Huh?

[chuckles]

both: Aww.

Hmm.

Hmm?

Let's leave 'em alone, Patrick.

[both chittering]

[straining]

Ugh, too bright.

[exciting chittering]

Oh, those two again.

What the--

[groans]

[excited chittering]

Ow!
[grumbles]

[both gasp]

No, get away.
Get away!

[screaming]

[upbeat tropical music]

♪ ♪

[grunting]

[laughs]

Wah!

[relaxed moan]
Oh, Sheldon.

You're so romantic.

It's all
about you today, Karen.

Oh, this makes up

for a lot of your
stupidity lately, Plankton.

Plankton's stepped away
for a moment.

The name's Ray Ray,

and I am at your service,
m'lady.

Pow!

Oh, kiss me, pipsqueak.

I mean, Ray Ray.

Grandma!

I told you never to call me
on this screen.

Sheldon, is that you?

Yes, it's me, Grandma.

Always nice to hear from you.
Okay, gotta go.

Okay, sweetie.

See you tomorrow
at eight AM sharp.

Right, see you then.
What a minute, what?

Eight AM?

Um, what's happening
at eight AM, Grandma?

Don't you remember, silly?

You promised me you'd own
the Krusty Krab

by my 90th birthday.

Well, my 90th is tomorrow!

You do own the Krusty Krab
now, right?

[groans]

[explosion]

Lie, that's it!

Uh, you're darn right I own
the Krusty Krab, Grandma,

and I can't wait to give you

the grand tour
tomorrow morning.

Aww, see you then.

[groans]

That smack was for Plankton.

Now bring back Ray Ray.

Oh, what am I
gonna do, Karen?

How am I gonna fool
Grandma tomorrow?

Oh, okay, I guess
bath time is over.

Why don't you and Ray Ray
take a long walk

off a short plank?

[screaming]

Gotta think, gotta think.

Come on, brain!

[grunting]

This way to the Krusty Krab!

Pull right in and order
a Krabby Patty!

[grunting]

Whoo! Whoop, whoop.

Ooh.
Aah.

[birds cawing]

[exciting grunting]

Whew.

Ow!

SpongeBoob,
ya gotta help me.

Sorry, Plankton,
what can I do to help you?

[straining]

This is not an evil scheme.

The truth is I promised
my grandma

I would own the Krusty Krab
by her 90th birthday.

So I need Krabs
to play pretend tomorrow

and fool my grandma
into believing

I'm the new owner,
otherwise she will think

I'm a big loser.
Got it?

[groaning]

Well, I believe you, Plankton,

but I'm not sure Mr. Krabs
is gonna buy it.

I'm not gonna buy what?

I ain't buying it!
This whole grandma thing

sounds just like
another phony plot

to steal me formula.

I was hoping I wouldn't have
to resort to this, Eugene,

but...
[straining]

[whimpers]

[gasps] SpongeBob, there's
something wrong with his eye.

That's Plankton's rarely
seen sincere face, Mr. Krabs,

and it means for once
he is telling the truth.

You know, I have
a grandma too.

- Aww.
- [sobs]

- All right, I buy it.
- [gasps]

Thank you.

First things first.

That should keep it safe
for six to eight hours.

All right, me pretties,

let's make this place
pro-Plankton pronto.

Ahhh!

[straining]

all: Mmm, mmm.

Now everyone remember,
for the rest of the day

Plankton is the--
[stammers]

Plankton's boss.

Hi, Grandma.

Happy birthday.

Nice to see you again,
Grandma Plankton.

Ugh.
Who invited C-Pee-Eww?

[laughs]

All right, I tried.

[groans]

Let me help you with
your bag, Grandma.

Ouch!

[humming]

Well, here we are, Grandma.

Welcome to the Krusty Plankton.

I named it after you.

Oh, well, aren't you
a sweet grandson?

Who are they?

They're just
my employees, Grandma.

Meet SpongeBob and Eugene.

both: Hello, Grandma Plankton.

They look like
very nice boys,

and I'll be they're even
nicer when they're working.

You heard, Grandma!

We ain't running
a welcome wagon here!

Get back to work!

[stammering]

[chuckles]

Yeah, sure thing, Plankton.

That's Mr. Plankton
to you, busboy.

Sorry, Mr. Plankton.

It won't happen again.

[straining]

Oh, look, that one's
napping on the job.

[snoring]

Nap time's over, loafer!

Okay, who's the wise guy?

[upbeat music]

Ohh.

Oh, my goodness.

Who is this
handsome young man?

Oh, that's Squidward.
He's nobody.

Moving along...

Mm. Squidward.

Didn't we meet
at an early bird dinner?

Ooh, I think someone
has a not-so-secret admirer.

[laughs]

Ow!

All right, lady,
I don't normally say this,

but got off my nose.

Go along with it, Squidward.

Or you're fired.

[sighs]

So, Grandma Plankton,

where have you been
all my life?

[chuckles]
Call me Lily.

Okay, Grandma,
you're embarrassing me now.

To the kitchen, Squidward.

[grumbles]

Try one of our
Planky Patties, Grandma.

Fresh off the grill.

[cheerful music]

[orchestral fanfare]

I'll need
my teeth for this.

Whoops.

Oops.

I dropped my choppers.

Oh, well.

I guess Squidward will have
to chew it for me.

Oh, sure, I'll--what?

Aah.

[chuckles] That's it,
chew it up real good.

That's enough.
My turn.

Aah.

Aah.

[chuckles]

Delicious.

[all groan]

Oh, Sheldon,
you've outdone yourself.

You really are a master chef.

[groans]

Thank you, Sheldon.

You've really
made my birthday

something extra special
this year.

All right, Grandma.
Got your bag?

You are out the door,
and that is that.

Oh, just one more thing.

[all groan]

My last birthday wish

is to get a photo of me

posing with the Krabby Patty
secret formula.

[whimpers]

Krabs?

Fine. Anything to get that
bag with a bag out of here.

[groans]

all: Say cheese.

both: Cheese.

Ahhh!

[all scream]

[laughs]

Finally, the secret formula
is mine!

I knew your sincerity
was insincere, sir!

I didn't know anything
about this, Eugene, honest.

But I love it!

Now we can rule the world
as a family, eh, Grandma?

[laughs maniacally]

Sorry, Sheldon, but I'm not
sharing this formula with you.

But Grandma!

Adios, mi amor!

Mmmm.

[groaning]

[laughs maniacally]

Why? Why did I lie?

Why?
Why did I pretend?

Why? Why did I
give her my formula?

Why? Why wouldn't we
be open on Tuesday, idiot.

all: What have we done?

[humming]

I have the secret formula.

[laughs]
This world is mine!

[laughs maniacally]

all chanting:
Grandma! Grandma! Grandma!

Darling, why don't you
toss the peasants

a little something?

[laughs]

[all gasp]

[laughs maniacally]

[snores]

I'll take that,
thank you very much.

Safe and sound.

Happy birthday, Grandma.

[groans]