SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Help Wanted/Reef Blower/Tea at the Treedome - full transcript
Spongebob tries to get a job as a fry cook at the Krusty Krab. Later, he meets a squirrel named Sandy and is invited over to her house.
ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
Kids:
AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE
BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ READY?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB... SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( Captain laughs )
( plays flute tune )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
Frenchman:
AH, THE SEA, SO FASCINATING,
SO WONDERFUL.
HERE WE SEE BIKINI BOTTOM,
TEEMING WITH LIFE
HOME OF ONE OF
MY FAVORITE CREATURES:
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.
YES, OF COURSE HE LIVES
IN A PINEAPPLE, YOU SILLY.
( snoring )
( horn blows )
( horn stops )
TODAY'S THE BIG DAY, GARY.
( meows )
LOOK AT ME!
I'M... NAKED!
GOT TO BE IN TOP PHYSICAL
CONDITION FOR TODAY, GARY.
( meows )
( breathing deeply )
( grunts )
( screams )
( grunts and screams )
( pants )
( screams )
( gasps )
( bunnies squeak )
SpongeBob:
I'M READY!
I'M READY, I'M READY, I'M READY.
I'M READY, I'M READY, I'M READY,
I'M READY...
GO, SPONGEBOB!
WHOA...
( crashes )
THERE IT IS...
THE FINEST EATING ESTABLISHMENT
EVER ESTABLISHED FOR EATING.
THE KRUSTY KRAB,
HOME OF THE CRABBY PATTY.
A HELP WANTED SIGN
IN THE WINDOW.
FOR YEARS, I'VE DREAMED
OF THIS MOMENT.
I'M GOING TO GO IN THERE,
MARCH STRAIGHT TO THE MANAGER
LOOK HIM IN THE EYE,
LAY IT ON THE LINE
AND I CAN'T DO THIS!
PATRICK!
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?
I WAS JUST...
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
YOU'RE GOING TO
THE KRUSTY KRAB
AND GET THAT JOB!
I CAN'T,
DON'T YOU SEE?
I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
WHOSE FIRST WORDS WERE,
"MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?"
MINE WERE.
WHO MADE A SPATULA
OUT OF TOOTHPICKS
IN WOOD SHOP?
I DID.
WHO'S...
( grunts )
WHO'S...
WHO'S A BIG,
YELLOW CUBE WITH HOLES?
I AM!
WHO'S READY?
I'M READY!
WHO'S READY?
I'M READY!
WHO'S READY?
I'M READY!
I'M READY.
I'M READY, I'M READY...
I'M READY, I'M READY,
I'M READY!
OH, NO. SPONGEBOB!
WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY WANT?
GO, SPONGEBOB!
GO, SPONGEBOB!
GO, SPONGEBOB,
GO, SELF.
( shrieks )
MR. KRABS!
HURRY, MR. KRABS,
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
SpongeBob:
PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD,
CAPTAIN.
I'VE BEEN TRAINING MY WHOLE LIFE
TO JOIN THE KRUSTY CREW,
AND NOW I'M READY.
( yelping )
( bouncing and yelping )
AH!
AH! OOH.
UM...
SO, UH, WHEN DO I START?
LAD, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DON'T
EVEN HAVE YOUR SEA LEGS.
MR. KRABS, PLEASE, I'LL PROVE
I'M FRY COOK MATERIAL.
ASK SQUIDWARD.
HE'LL VOUCH FOR ME.
NO.
WELL, LAD, WE'LL GIVE YOU
A TEST, AND IF YOU PASS
YOU'LL BE
ON THE KRUSTY CREW.
GO OUT AND FETCH ME A...
A... HYDRODYNAMIC SPATULA
WITH, UM, PORT AND
STARBOARD ATTACHMENTS
AND TURBO DRIVE.
AND DON'T COME BACK
TILL YOU GET ONE.
AYE AYE, CAPTAIN.
ONE HYDRODYNAMIC
SPATULA
PORT AND STARBOARD
ATTACHMENTS,
TURBO DRIVE
COMING UP, SIR!
CARRY ON!
WE'LL NEVER SEE
THAT LUBBER AGAIN.
YOU'RE TERRIBLE.
A HYDRO WHAT?
( laughing )
( still laughing... )
Driver:
HEY, HEY, PLEASE!
PASSENGERS ARE TO STAY SEATED
AND NOT PUT THEIR HEADS
OUT THE WINDOWS.
( laughter inside continues )
( gasps )
THAT SOUNDED
LIKE HATCH DOORS.
( sniffing )
DO YOU SMELL IT?
THAT SMELL.
A KIND OF SMELLY SMELL.
A SMELLY SMELL THAT SMELLS...
SMELLY.
ANCHOVIES.
WHAT?
ANCHOVIES!
( anchovies clamoring )
PLEASE, PLEASE!
QUIET!
IS THIS ANY WAY
TO BEHAVE?
HMM?
CAN WE SHOW
A LITTLE DECENCY
AND FORM A NEAT, SINGLE-FILE
LINE IN FRONT OF THE REGISTER?
( clamoring hysterically )
♪ BARG'N-MART, MEETING
ALL YOUR SPATULA NEEDS. ♪
Krabs:
ALL HANDS ON DECK!
GET YOUR ANCHORS
OUT OF YOUR PANTS!
ONE SINGLE-FILE LINE
IS ALL I ASK!
WHOA!
WHOA!
BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES,
MR. SQUIDWARD!
WE'RE TAKING ON WATER,
MR. SQUIDWARD!
I WANT MY MOMMY,
MR. SQUIDWARD!
( humming )
♪ SPATULA, SPATULA ♪
♪ PORT AND STARBOARD
ATTACHMENTS. ♪
Squidward:
HELP!
Krabs:
MAN OVERBOARD!
CLIMB, MR. SQUIDWARD,
CLIMB!
THIS IS THE END!
GOOD-BYE,
MR. SQUIDWARD.
OH, MR. KRABS!
( sobbing )
SpongeBob:
PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD,
CAPTAIN.
♪ DA-DADADA-DA-DAH! ♪
DID SOMEONE
ORDER A SPATULA?
( babbling
incoherently )
THAT'S RIGHT,
ONE HYDRODYNAMIC SPATULA
WITH PORT
AND STARBOARD
ATTACHMENTS
AND LET'S NOT FORGET
THE TURBO DRIVE.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE
THEY ONLY HAD
ONE IN STOCK?
TO THE KITCHEN!
WHO'S HUNGRY?
( anchovies clamor )
Tiny Tim:
♪ THINGS THAT BOTHER YOU
NEVER BOTHER ME ♪
♪ I'M AS HAPPY AS PIE, HA-HA! ♪
♪ LIVING IN THE SUNLIGHT,
LOVING IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪
♪ HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME. ♪
♪ HAVEN'T GOT A LOT,
I DON'T NEED A LOT ♪
♪ COFFEE'S ONLY A DIME ♪
♪ LIVING IN THE SUNLIGHT,
LOVING IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪
♪ HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME. ♪
♪ JUST TAKE IT FROM ME,
I'M JUST AS FREE
AS ANY BROTHER. ♪
♪ I DO WHAT I LIKE
JUST WHEN I LIKE,
AND HOW I LOVE IT. ♪
♪ I'M RIGHT HERE TO STAY,
WHEN I'M OLD AND GRAY ♪
♪ I'LL BE RIGHT IN MY PRIME ♪
♪ LIVING IN THE SUNLIGHT,
LOVING IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪
♪ HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME. ♪
( trilling the tune )
( blows a musical note )
THAT WAS THE FINEST
FAST-FOODSMANSHIP
I'VE EVER SEEN,
MR. SQUAREPANTS.
WELCOME ABOARD.
BUT MR. KRABS...
THREE CHEERS
FOR SPONGEBOB!
HIP, HIP...
HOORAY.
MR. KRABS...
HIP, HIP...
HOORAY.
HIP, HIP...
HOORAY. MR. KRABS...
I'LL BE
IN MY QUARTERS
COUNTING UP THE BOOTY.
GOOD MORNING, KRUSTY CREW!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE
TO ORDER, PATRICK?
ONE CRABBY
PATTY, PLEASE.
( crashing )
Squidward:
MR. KRABS, MR. KRABS!
MR. KRABS, COME SEE
YOUR NEW EMPLOYEE.
♪ LIVING IN THE SUNLIGHT,
LOVING IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪
♪ HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME! ♪
( whistles casually )
( motor throbbing... )
( grumbles )
( coughs )
( motor starts,
then dies )
( gasps )
( buzzing like a bee )
WOW, FOUR STINGERS.
( buzzing )
OH!
( girl yelling )
( yelling )
( gasps )
( grunting... )
WHERE HAVE I SEEN THIS BEFORE?
HERE IT IS--
LAND SQUIRREL.
THAT LITTLE SQUIRREL
IS IN TROUBLE.
TAKE THAT, YOU SORRY OLD CLAM.
YOU NEED TO LEARN SOME MANNERS.
YOU'RE ABOUT AS UGLY
AS HOMEMADE SOUP.
HOORAY, LAND SQUIRREL!
( growls )
LOOK OUT!
( grunting... )
HOLD ON, LITTLE SQUIRREL!
( karate yell )
HO-HO-HO-HO!
HO-HEE!
HOY-YA!
YOU HAVE FOUGHT WELL,
GIANT CLAM.
PREPARE TO BE VANQUISHED.
( yells, grunting... )
HEY, I'M ACTUALLY DOING IT.
( grunting... )
( victorious yell )
YOUR SHELL IS MINE!
( grunts )
HOLD ON THERE,
LITTLE SQUARE DUDE.
( karate yell )
( yells )
( clam whimpers )
HEY, YOU LIKE
KARATE, TOO.
( karate yelling... )
HA!
SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
SANDY.
SO, WHAT... DO... YOU...
CALL YOURSELF?
( yelling ):
I'M SPONGEBOB!
WELL, SPONGEBOB...
TAKE A GANDER AT THIS.
( rumbling, cracking... )
OH.
OH, YEAH?
WATCH THIS.
( yells )
( armpit-farts )
( giggles )
I LIKE YOU, SPONGEBOB.
WE COULD BE TIGHTER
THAN BARK ON A TREE.
( karate yells )
UH, I LIKE YOU
TOO, SANDY.
( karate yells )
WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR HEAD?
THAT'S MY AIR HELMET.
MAY I TRY IT ON?
HECK NO,
I NEED IT TO BREATHE.
I GOT TO HAVE MY AIR.
ME, TOO!
I LOVE AIR.
AIR IS GOOD.
NO KIDDING?
WHY, AIR IS MY MIDDLE NAME.
THE MORE AIR, THE BETTER.
CAN'T GET ENOUGH AIR.
( drawling ):
SHOOT!
HOW ABOUT COMING OVER TOMORROW
FOR TEA AND COOKIES THEN?
DON'T BE LATE.
OKAY, SEE YOU TOMORROW.
PATRICK!
PATRICK!
PATRICK, PATRICK, PATRICK!
WHAT'S AIR?
HUH?
I JUST MET THIS GIRL.
SHE WEARS A HAT FULL OF... AIR.
DO YOU MEAN SHE "PUTS ON AIRS"?
I GUESS SO.
THAT'S JUST FANCY TALK.
IF YOU WANT TO BE FANCY
HOLD YOUR PINKY UP LIKE THIS.
THE HIGHER YOU HOLD IT,
THE FANCIER YOU ARE.
HOW'S THAT?
HIGHER.
LIKE THAT?
NOW, THAT'S FANCY!
THEY SHOULD CALL YOU
SPONGEBOB FANCYPANTS.
REMEMBER, WHEN IN DOUBT,
PINKY OUT.
YOU CAN DO IT,
SPONGEBOB.
I'LL BE WATCHING.
THANKS, PAL.
( rings bell )
Hello?
HIYA, SANDY.
IT'S ME, SPONGEBOB.
Hold on,
I'll let you in.
( buzzing )
( whistling )
( drain gurgling )
( stifled whistling )
( yelling ):
SANDY!
OPEN UP!
SANDY! SANDY!
SANDY, SOMETHING'S GONE
TERRIBLY WRONG.
THERE'S NO WATER IN...
HERE.
'COURSE THERE'S NO WATER.
NOTHING BUT AIR.
NO WATER?
THAT AIN'T A PROBLEM,
IS IT?
( karate yells )
PROBLEM?
( karate yells )
THAT'S HOW I LIKE
MY AIR.
( inhales deeply )
( gagging, coughing )
WITH NO WATER.
Sandy:
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
I MADE TEXAS TEA AND COOKIES.
WELL, COME ON IN.
( karate yells )
( legs squeaking )
THAT'S NOT IN.
IN!
( squeaking... )
YOU'RE A FUNNY LITTLE DUDE.
COME ON, I'LL GIVE YOU
THE GRAND TOUR.
SO THIS IS MY OWN
PRIVATE LITTLE
AIR BUBBLE.
THIS AIR
IS THE DRIEST...
( gasps )
PUREST...
( gasps )
MOST AIRIEST AIR
IN THE WHOLE SEA.
OH, OVER THERE
IS MY BIRDBATH.
( chirping cheerily )
AND THAT'S MY
OAK TREE.
IT PROVIDES ME
WITH EXTRA AIR.
THIS DOME IS MADE OF THE
STRONGEST POLYURETHANE;
THAT'S A FANCY NAME
FOR PLASTIC.
AIN'T THAT JUST
THE BEE'S KNEES?
TELL YOU WHAT, WEREN'T EASY
GETTING HERE NEITHER.
FIRST, I HAD
TO HITCH IT UP
TO A BIG, OLD...
( grunting )
( chirping angrily )
...THAT'S MY TREADMILL.
THAT'S HOW I STAY
IN TIPTOP SHAPE.
OH, COME ON.
LET'S HAVE THAT
TEA NOW.
( karate yells )
( gasps )
( knocking on dome )
PINKY, PINKY!
( gasps )
I BROUGHT YOU SOME FLOWERS.
FOR ME?
HOW SWEET!
YOU OKAY?
( raspily ):
YES.
I'M OKAY.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE THE FIRST
SEA CRITTER TO EVER VISIT.
I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY.
CAN I GET
YOU ANYTHING?
WATER WOULD BE NICE.
I'M GOING TO PUT
THESE IN A VASE.
TAKE YOUR TIME.
( gasping )
I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
Sandy:
I LIKE YOU, SPONGEBOB.
WE COULD BE TIGHTER THAN BARK
ON A TREE.
Patrick:
WHEN IN DOUBT, PINKY OUT.
I DON'T NEED WATER.
WATER IS FOR QUITTERS.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT,
I DON'T NEED IT.
WHY, THESE FLOWERS
ARE JUST BEAUTIFUL.
THEY'LL LIVE MUCH, MUCH LONGER
IN A VASE FULL
OF ICE-COLD WATER.
SO TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF.
IT MUST BE FASCINATING
BEING A SEA CRITTER.
SPONGEBOB?
( timer dings )
OH, THERE'S THE COOKIES.
BE RIGHT BACK.
SpongeBob ( thinking ):
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DEFINITELY DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
( howling ):
I NEED IT!
( wheezing )
NO, SPONGEBOB!
NO, NO, NO!
STOP!
PINKY, PINKY!
( yelling ):
I'M A QUITTER!
( SpongeBob wailing )
YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW.
YOU'LL BLOW IT.
AIR IS NOT GOOD, PATRICK.
AIR IS NOT GOOD.
YOU'RE JUST BEING SHY.
DON'T WORRY, BUDDY.
YOU'RE DOING FINE.
( panting heavily )
I WON'T LET YOU BLOW... THIS.
( wheezing )
( gagging )
WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?!
THERE'S NO WATER IN HERE!
I TRIED
TO TELL YOU.
WE GOT TO GET
OUT OF HERE!
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
WAIT, NO,
WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT.
( door opens, closes )
COME AND GET IT.
YOU'RE ALL GOING TO LIKE THIS--
( shrieks )
( glasses breaking )
THERE.
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
IF YOU ALL NEEDED WATER,
YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED.
I PROPOSE A TOAST:
TO NEW FRIENDS!
HOLD ON A SECOND.
I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE
YOUR TEA STRONG.
DRINK UP!
( both slurping )
All:
AH!
and NICKELODEON]
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]
Kids:
AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE
BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ READY?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB... SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( Captain laughs )
( plays flute tune )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
Frenchman:
AH, THE SEA, SO FASCINATING,
SO WONDERFUL.
HERE WE SEE BIKINI BOTTOM,
TEEMING WITH LIFE
HOME OF ONE OF
MY FAVORITE CREATURES:
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.
YES, OF COURSE HE LIVES
IN A PINEAPPLE, YOU SILLY.
( snoring )
( horn blows )
( horn stops )
TODAY'S THE BIG DAY, GARY.
( meows )
LOOK AT ME!
I'M... NAKED!
GOT TO BE IN TOP PHYSICAL
CONDITION FOR TODAY, GARY.
( meows )
( breathing deeply )
( grunts )
( screams )
( grunts and screams )
( pants )
( screams )
( gasps )
( bunnies squeak )
SpongeBob:
I'M READY!
I'M READY, I'M READY, I'M READY.
I'M READY, I'M READY, I'M READY,
I'M READY...
GO, SPONGEBOB!
WHOA...
( crashes )
THERE IT IS...
THE FINEST EATING ESTABLISHMENT
EVER ESTABLISHED FOR EATING.
THE KRUSTY KRAB,
HOME OF THE CRABBY PATTY.
A HELP WANTED SIGN
IN THE WINDOW.
FOR YEARS, I'VE DREAMED
OF THIS MOMENT.
I'M GOING TO GO IN THERE,
MARCH STRAIGHT TO THE MANAGER
LOOK HIM IN THE EYE,
LAY IT ON THE LINE
AND I CAN'T DO THIS!
PATRICK!
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?
I WAS JUST...
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
YOU'RE GOING TO
THE KRUSTY KRAB
AND GET THAT JOB!
I CAN'T,
DON'T YOU SEE?
I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
WHOSE FIRST WORDS WERE,
"MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?"
MINE WERE.
WHO MADE A SPATULA
OUT OF TOOTHPICKS
IN WOOD SHOP?
I DID.
WHO'S...
( grunts )
WHO'S...
WHO'S A BIG,
YELLOW CUBE WITH HOLES?
I AM!
WHO'S READY?
I'M READY!
WHO'S READY?
I'M READY!
WHO'S READY?
I'M READY!
I'M READY.
I'M READY, I'M READY...
I'M READY, I'M READY,
I'M READY!
OH, NO. SPONGEBOB!
WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY WANT?
GO, SPONGEBOB!
GO, SPONGEBOB!
GO, SPONGEBOB,
GO, SELF.
( shrieks )
MR. KRABS!
HURRY, MR. KRABS,
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
SpongeBob:
PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD,
CAPTAIN.
I'VE BEEN TRAINING MY WHOLE LIFE
TO JOIN THE KRUSTY CREW,
AND NOW I'M READY.
( yelping )
( bouncing and yelping )
AH!
AH! OOH.
UM...
SO, UH, WHEN DO I START?
LAD, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DON'T
EVEN HAVE YOUR SEA LEGS.
MR. KRABS, PLEASE, I'LL PROVE
I'M FRY COOK MATERIAL.
ASK SQUIDWARD.
HE'LL VOUCH FOR ME.
NO.
WELL, LAD, WE'LL GIVE YOU
A TEST, AND IF YOU PASS
YOU'LL BE
ON THE KRUSTY CREW.
GO OUT AND FETCH ME A...
A... HYDRODYNAMIC SPATULA
WITH, UM, PORT AND
STARBOARD ATTACHMENTS
AND TURBO DRIVE.
AND DON'T COME BACK
TILL YOU GET ONE.
AYE AYE, CAPTAIN.
ONE HYDRODYNAMIC
SPATULA
PORT AND STARBOARD
ATTACHMENTS,
TURBO DRIVE
COMING UP, SIR!
CARRY ON!
WE'LL NEVER SEE
THAT LUBBER AGAIN.
YOU'RE TERRIBLE.
A HYDRO WHAT?
( laughing )
( still laughing... )
Driver:
HEY, HEY, PLEASE!
PASSENGERS ARE TO STAY SEATED
AND NOT PUT THEIR HEADS
OUT THE WINDOWS.
( laughter inside continues )
( gasps )
THAT SOUNDED
LIKE HATCH DOORS.
( sniffing )
DO YOU SMELL IT?
THAT SMELL.
A KIND OF SMELLY SMELL.
A SMELLY SMELL THAT SMELLS...
SMELLY.
ANCHOVIES.
WHAT?
ANCHOVIES!
( anchovies clamoring )
PLEASE, PLEASE!
QUIET!
IS THIS ANY WAY
TO BEHAVE?
HMM?
CAN WE SHOW
A LITTLE DECENCY
AND FORM A NEAT, SINGLE-FILE
LINE IN FRONT OF THE REGISTER?
( clamoring hysterically )
♪ BARG'N-MART, MEETING
ALL YOUR SPATULA NEEDS. ♪
Krabs:
ALL HANDS ON DECK!
GET YOUR ANCHORS
OUT OF YOUR PANTS!
ONE SINGLE-FILE LINE
IS ALL I ASK!
WHOA!
WHOA!
BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES,
MR. SQUIDWARD!
WE'RE TAKING ON WATER,
MR. SQUIDWARD!
I WANT MY MOMMY,
MR. SQUIDWARD!
( humming )
♪ SPATULA, SPATULA ♪
♪ PORT AND STARBOARD
ATTACHMENTS. ♪
Squidward:
HELP!
Krabs:
MAN OVERBOARD!
CLIMB, MR. SQUIDWARD,
CLIMB!
THIS IS THE END!
GOOD-BYE,
MR. SQUIDWARD.
OH, MR. KRABS!
( sobbing )
SpongeBob:
PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD,
CAPTAIN.
♪ DA-DADADA-DA-DAH! ♪
DID SOMEONE
ORDER A SPATULA?
( babbling
incoherently )
THAT'S RIGHT,
ONE HYDRODYNAMIC SPATULA
WITH PORT
AND STARBOARD
ATTACHMENTS
AND LET'S NOT FORGET
THE TURBO DRIVE.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE
THEY ONLY HAD
ONE IN STOCK?
TO THE KITCHEN!
WHO'S HUNGRY?
( anchovies clamor )
Tiny Tim:
♪ THINGS THAT BOTHER YOU
NEVER BOTHER ME ♪
♪ I'M AS HAPPY AS PIE, HA-HA! ♪
♪ LIVING IN THE SUNLIGHT,
LOVING IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪
♪ HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME. ♪
♪ HAVEN'T GOT A LOT,
I DON'T NEED A LOT ♪
♪ COFFEE'S ONLY A DIME ♪
♪ LIVING IN THE SUNLIGHT,
LOVING IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪
♪ HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME. ♪
♪ JUST TAKE IT FROM ME,
I'M JUST AS FREE
AS ANY BROTHER. ♪
♪ I DO WHAT I LIKE
JUST WHEN I LIKE,
AND HOW I LOVE IT. ♪
♪ I'M RIGHT HERE TO STAY,
WHEN I'M OLD AND GRAY ♪
♪ I'LL BE RIGHT IN MY PRIME ♪
♪ LIVING IN THE SUNLIGHT,
LOVING IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪
♪ HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME. ♪
( trilling the tune )
( blows a musical note )
THAT WAS THE FINEST
FAST-FOODSMANSHIP
I'VE EVER SEEN,
MR. SQUAREPANTS.
WELCOME ABOARD.
BUT MR. KRABS...
THREE CHEERS
FOR SPONGEBOB!
HIP, HIP...
HOORAY.
MR. KRABS...
HIP, HIP...
HOORAY.
HIP, HIP...
HOORAY. MR. KRABS...
I'LL BE
IN MY QUARTERS
COUNTING UP THE BOOTY.
GOOD MORNING, KRUSTY CREW!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE
TO ORDER, PATRICK?
ONE CRABBY
PATTY, PLEASE.
( crashing )
Squidward:
MR. KRABS, MR. KRABS!
MR. KRABS, COME SEE
YOUR NEW EMPLOYEE.
♪ LIVING IN THE SUNLIGHT,
LOVING IN THE MOONLIGHT ♪
♪ HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME! ♪
( whistles casually )
( motor throbbing... )
( grumbles )
( coughs )
( motor starts,
then dies )
( gasps )
( buzzing like a bee )
WOW, FOUR STINGERS.
( buzzing )
OH!
( girl yelling )
( yelling )
( gasps )
( grunting... )
WHERE HAVE I SEEN THIS BEFORE?
HERE IT IS--
LAND SQUIRREL.
THAT LITTLE SQUIRREL
IS IN TROUBLE.
TAKE THAT, YOU SORRY OLD CLAM.
YOU NEED TO LEARN SOME MANNERS.
YOU'RE ABOUT AS UGLY
AS HOMEMADE SOUP.
HOORAY, LAND SQUIRREL!
( growls )
LOOK OUT!
( grunting... )
HOLD ON, LITTLE SQUIRREL!
( karate yell )
HO-HO-HO-HO!
HO-HEE!
HOY-YA!
YOU HAVE FOUGHT WELL,
GIANT CLAM.
PREPARE TO BE VANQUISHED.
( yells, grunting... )
HEY, I'M ACTUALLY DOING IT.
( grunting... )
( victorious yell )
YOUR SHELL IS MINE!
( grunts )
HOLD ON THERE,
LITTLE SQUARE DUDE.
( karate yell )
( yells )
( clam whimpers )
HEY, YOU LIKE
KARATE, TOO.
( karate yelling... )
HA!
SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
SANDY.
SO, WHAT... DO... YOU...
CALL YOURSELF?
( yelling ):
I'M SPONGEBOB!
WELL, SPONGEBOB...
TAKE A GANDER AT THIS.
( rumbling, cracking... )
OH.
OH, YEAH?
WATCH THIS.
( yells )
( armpit-farts )
( giggles )
I LIKE YOU, SPONGEBOB.
WE COULD BE TIGHTER
THAN BARK ON A TREE.
( karate yells )
UH, I LIKE YOU
TOO, SANDY.
( karate yells )
WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR HEAD?
THAT'S MY AIR HELMET.
MAY I TRY IT ON?
HECK NO,
I NEED IT TO BREATHE.
I GOT TO HAVE MY AIR.
ME, TOO!
I LOVE AIR.
AIR IS GOOD.
NO KIDDING?
WHY, AIR IS MY MIDDLE NAME.
THE MORE AIR, THE BETTER.
CAN'T GET ENOUGH AIR.
( drawling ):
SHOOT!
HOW ABOUT COMING OVER TOMORROW
FOR TEA AND COOKIES THEN?
DON'T BE LATE.
OKAY, SEE YOU TOMORROW.
PATRICK!
PATRICK!
PATRICK, PATRICK, PATRICK!
WHAT'S AIR?
HUH?
I JUST MET THIS GIRL.
SHE WEARS A HAT FULL OF... AIR.
DO YOU MEAN SHE "PUTS ON AIRS"?
I GUESS SO.
THAT'S JUST FANCY TALK.
IF YOU WANT TO BE FANCY
HOLD YOUR PINKY UP LIKE THIS.
THE HIGHER YOU HOLD IT,
THE FANCIER YOU ARE.
HOW'S THAT?
HIGHER.
LIKE THAT?
NOW, THAT'S FANCY!
THEY SHOULD CALL YOU
SPONGEBOB FANCYPANTS.
REMEMBER, WHEN IN DOUBT,
PINKY OUT.
YOU CAN DO IT,
SPONGEBOB.
I'LL BE WATCHING.
THANKS, PAL.
( rings bell )
Hello?
HIYA, SANDY.
IT'S ME, SPONGEBOB.
Hold on,
I'll let you in.
( buzzing )
( whistling )
( drain gurgling )
( stifled whistling )
( yelling ):
SANDY!
OPEN UP!
SANDY! SANDY!
SANDY, SOMETHING'S GONE
TERRIBLY WRONG.
THERE'S NO WATER IN...
HERE.
'COURSE THERE'S NO WATER.
NOTHING BUT AIR.
NO WATER?
THAT AIN'T A PROBLEM,
IS IT?
( karate yells )
PROBLEM?
( karate yells )
THAT'S HOW I LIKE
MY AIR.
( inhales deeply )
( gagging, coughing )
WITH NO WATER.
Sandy:
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
I MADE TEXAS TEA AND COOKIES.
WELL, COME ON IN.
( karate yells )
( legs squeaking )
THAT'S NOT IN.
IN!
( squeaking... )
YOU'RE A FUNNY LITTLE DUDE.
COME ON, I'LL GIVE YOU
THE GRAND TOUR.
SO THIS IS MY OWN
PRIVATE LITTLE
AIR BUBBLE.
THIS AIR
IS THE DRIEST...
( gasps )
PUREST...
( gasps )
MOST AIRIEST AIR
IN THE WHOLE SEA.
OH, OVER THERE
IS MY BIRDBATH.
( chirping cheerily )
AND THAT'S MY
OAK TREE.
IT PROVIDES ME
WITH EXTRA AIR.
THIS DOME IS MADE OF THE
STRONGEST POLYURETHANE;
THAT'S A FANCY NAME
FOR PLASTIC.
AIN'T THAT JUST
THE BEE'S KNEES?
TELL YOU WHAT, WEREN'T EASY
GETTING HERE NEITHER.
FIRST, I HAD
TO HITCH IT UP
TO A BIG, OLD...
( grunting )
( chirping angrily )
...THAT'S MY TREADMILL.
THAT'S HOW I STAY
IN TIPTOP SHAPE.
OH, COME ON.
LET'S HAVE THAT
TEA NOW.
( karate yells )
( gasps )
( knocking on dome )
PINKY, PINKY!
( gasps )
I BROUGHT YOU SOME FLOWERS.
FOR ME?
HOW SWEET!
YOU OKAY?
( raspily ):
YES.
I'M OKAY.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE THE FIRST
SEA CRITTER TO EVER VISIT.
I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY.
CAN I GET
YOU ANYTHING?
WATER WOULD BE NICE.
I'M GOING TO PUT
THESE IN A VASE.
TAKE YOUR TIME.
( gasping )
I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
Sandy:
I LIKE YOU, SPONGEBOB.
WE COULD BE TIGHTER THAN BARK
ON A TREE.
Patrick:
WHEN IN DOUBT, PINKY OUT.
I DON'T NEED WATER.
WATER IS FOR QUITTERS.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT,
I DON'T NEED IT.
WHY, THESE FLOWERS
ARE JUST BEAUTIFUL.
THEY'LL LIVE MUCH, MUCH LONGER
IN A VASE FULL
OF ICE-COLD WATER.
SO TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF.
IT MUST BE FASCINATING
BEING A SEA CRITTER.
SPONGEBOB?
( timer dings )
OH, THERE'S THE COOKIES.
BE RIGHT BACK.
SpongeBob ( thinking ):
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DEFINITELY DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
I DON'T NEED IT.
( howling ):
I NEED IT!
( wheezing )
NO, SPONGEBOB!
NO, NO, NO!
STOP!
PINKY, PINKY!
( yelling ):
I'M A QUITTER!
( SpongeBob wailing )
YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW.
YOU'LL BLOW IT.
AIR IS NOT GOOD, PATRICK.
AIR IS NOT GOOD.
YOU'RE JUST BEING SHY.
DON'T WORRY, BUDDY.
YOU'RE DOING FINE.
( panting heavily )
I WON'T LET YOU BLOW... THIS.
( wheezing )
( gagging )
WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?!
THERE'S NO WATER IN HERE!
I TRIED
TO TELL YOU.
WE GOT TO GET
OUT OF HERE!
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
WAIT, NO,
WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT.
( door opens, closes )
COME AND GET IT.
YOU'RE ALL GOING TO LIKE THIS--
( shrieks )
( glasses breaking )
THERE.
THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.
IF YOU ALL NEEDED WATER,
YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED.
I PROPOSE A TOAST:
TO NEW FRIENDS!
HOLD ON A SECOND.
I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE
YOUR TEA STRONG.
DRINK UP!
( both slurping )
All:
AH!
and NICKELODEON]
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]