Spin City (1996–2002): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

HEY.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
LISTEN UP.

AS OF ABOUT ONE MINUTE AGO,

THE SANITATION WORKERS UNION
REJECTED OUR FINAL OFFER.

THEY ARE NOW OFFICIALLY
ON STRIKE.

IT'S HAPPENING?

LET'S START LOOKING
INTO ALTERNATIVE DUMPSITES.

VACANT LOTS, BARGES...

NEW JERSEY.



THIS STRIKE COULD DRAG ON
FOR DAYS, WEEKS,

MAYBE EVEN MONTHS.

MIKE, I NEED SOMETHING
TO TELL THE PRESS.
THEY'RE KILLING ME.

THE STRIKE'S OVER, PAULY--
FINISHED.

REALLY?

OH, YEAH.

(EVERYONE SPEAKS AT ONCE)

YOU'RE NOT LYING TO ME,
ARE YOU?

I WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED
IF THIS THING

WASN'T SETTLED
BY THIS AFTERNOON.

GOD, I LOVE THIS JOB!

OK, THAT'S ONLY GOING TO
BUY US A COUPLE HOURS,

BUT I'M NOT DEBATING THIS THING
IN THE PRESS.

IT'S ONLY GOING TO HURT
NEGOTIATIONS.



NOW, YOU ALL KNOW
THE RULES.

ANYBODY WHO TELLS
PAUL THE TRUTH PUTS
10 BUCKS IN THE KITTY.

IT'S GOING TO BE
A LONG DAY, PEOPLE.

WE GOT GARBAGE
IN THE STREETS.

WE GOT A WEATHER REPORT
CALLING FOR TEMPERATURES IN
THE MID-90s WITH NO BREEZE.

BY 11:00, THE CITY'S GOING
TO SMELL LIKE A GIANT FOOT.

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO
BE HURLING THEMSELVES
INTO THE EAST RIVER,

AND WE ALL KNOW
WHO EVERYBODY'S GOING
TO BLAME, DON'T WE?

GOOD MORNING,
EVERYONE.

Several people:
MORNING, MR. MAYOR.

HEY, FLAHERTY,
HOW'S OUR CITY?

COULDN'T BE
BETTER, SIR.

THAT'S WHAT
I LIKE TO HEAR.

THE MAYOR IS NOT HAPPY.

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT
THAT. HOW YOU DOING?

I'M OK. LET ME SEE
MY OWN SCHEDULE.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
HAVE TIME FOR IT.

NO. NO. NO.
NO. NO. NO.

YOU GAVE ME 6 NOs.
THERE'S ONLY 5
THINGS ON THE LIST.

THAT LAST NO, THAT'S FOR YOU.
YOU CAN USE THAT
HOWEVER YOU WANT.

KAREN.

YES, MR. FLAHERTY?

I NEED YOU TO GET
A MR. SABATINO
ON THE PHONE.

HE'S THE HEAD
OF THE SANITATION
WORKERS UNION,

AND HE DOESN'T
WANT TO TALK TO US,

SO YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
TO DO ME A FAVOR.

YOU KNOW HOW,
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,

YOU'RE ALWAYS SO CHEERFUL,
IT JUST MAKES US ALL

WANT TO STAB YOU
THROUGH THE HEART?

UH-HUH.

THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK
ON MR. SABATINO,

SO YOU GOT TO DO ME
A FAVOR, ALL RIGHT?

YOU GOT TO INTIMIDATE
THIS GUY, ALL RIGHT?

TAP INTO
YOUR DARKER SIDE,

THAT ANGRY CORNER
OF YOUR SOUL WHERE
VIOLENCE REIGNS

AND TERROR
CRACKS THE WHIP.

OKEYDOKEY.

IT WAS JUST
A RUN-OF-THE-MILL
ORGASM.

I DIDN'T MEAN
TO SCARE YOU.

COULD YOU HOLD
A SECOND, MOM?

I WORKED UP
SOME NEW NUMBERS
FOR YOU, MIKE.

TALK TO ME, NIKKI.

WE'RE NOT THERE YET.
FORGET HEALTH INSURANCE
AND PENSION PLANS.

WE CAN'T COME CLOSE
TO WHAT THESE SANITATION
WORKERS ARE ASKING.

GIVE IT ANOTHER PASS.

ALL RIGHT,
BUT I WOULDN'T
BE OPTIMISTIC.

OH, I'LL LET YOU
GET BACK TO YOUR MOM.

OH.

BEFORE SHE LOSES
HER ERECTION.

SO, YES, WE DO HOPE THAT
NEW YORKERS WILL CONTINUE

TO BAG AND DISPOSE OF THEIR
GARBAGE IN THE USUAL MANNER.

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

ANYBODY HAVE
ANY QUESTIONS?

ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL?
ANYBODY? ANYBODY?

YES, ASHLEY?

AM I TO UNDERSTAND
YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE

GARBAGE PICKUP WILL
RESUME TOMORROW?

YES.

YES.

WITH ALL MY HEART.

THAT'S INTERESTING,

BECAUSE I SPOKE
TO MR. SABATINO
ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO,

AND I ASKED HIM
HOW LONG HE THOUGHT
THE STRIKE MIGHT LAST,

AND HE SAID,
AND I QUOTE,

"HOW LONG YOU GOT?"

IT'S NOT GOOD. NO.

WHY ARE YOU
BEATING UP ON PAUL?

GUY'S JUST
DOING HIS JOB.

I DON'T BLAME PAUL.

I KNOW WHO
HAS HIS HAND
INSIDE THE PUPPET.

WHY, THANK YOU.
THAT'S A LOVELY IMAGE.

GOT ANY MORE
QUESTIONS?

YEAH. WHAT DO YOU HOPE
TO GAIN BY THIS?

IT'S A STRIKE.
IT'S NOT LIKE PEOPLE
AREN'T GOING TO NOTICE.

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SAY
NO PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE?

BECAUSE THE SECOND I DO
THAT, YOU'D MAKE IT OUT
TO BE THE MAYOR'S FAULT.

SO IT'S NOT
THE MAYOR'S FAULT?

I'LL JUST WRITE
THE STORY:

"GARBAGE UNREASONABLE.
REFUSES TO BE TAKEN AWAY."

WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS
FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVE?

THE CITY OF NEW YORK
GENERATES MORE GARBAGE

THAN ANY OTHER CITY
IN THE WORLD.

WE'RE NUMBER ONE.
THAT'S GREAT!

WHEN WE CAME IN,
WE WERE NUMBER 3.

WHATEVER.
YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO HAS TO SLEEP
AT NIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT.

OK, THEN.

OK.

SEE YOU TONIGHT?

MY PLACE?

NO PROBLEM.

THE MAYOR PREPARED
TO SPEAK ABOUT
THE STRIKE, JAMES?

I WORKED ON IT
ALL NIGHT.

I HAVE 6 PAGES OF
SPONTANEOUS REMARKS.

YOU KNOW, MIKE,
IF I WERE DEPUTY MAYOR,

THERE NEVER WOULD HAVE
BEEN A GARBAGE STRIKE.

STUART,
I'M SURE THERE
ARE 100 REASONS

WHY YOU THINK
YOU DESERVE MY JOB.

GOOD! YOU READ
MY MANIFESTO.

TV: SIR? MR. MAYOR?

ANY COMMENTS
ON THE STRIKE, SIR?

"I DON'T THINK WE NEED
TO BE OVERLY CONCERNED."

Mayor: I DON'T THINK
WE NEED TO BE OVERLY
CONCERNED.

"WE ALL WANT THIS
SETTLED QUICKLY."

WE ALL WANT THIS
SETTLED QUICKLY.
BESIDES...

88%. GOOD GOD, 88%!
88% OF...

88% OF ALL MAJOR
UNION STRIKES END
IN LESS THAN 48 HOURS,

SO THIS SHOULDN'T
DRAG ON. THANK YOU.

AND THERE'S
YOUR SOUND BITE.

ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE GOLDEN.

TV: MR. MAYOR, WOULD YOU
CONSIDER MARCHING

IN THE GAY PRIDE
PARADE THIS WEEK?

Mayor:
WHAT ARE YOU--DRUNK?

WHAT WAS THAT?

I DIDN'T WRITE
THAT, MIKE.

OH, GREAT. THERE GO
ALL OUR FREE SHOW TICKETS.

ALL RIGHT. IT'S OUT THERE.
HE SAID IT. NOW WHAT?

I TELL YOU, IF WE
HAVE ONE GAY PERSON
ON THE STAFF,

THIS WHOLE THING
GOES AWAY.

EVERYBODY, STOP.

I NEED A GAY PERSON.

HUH?

WHO IN THIS ROOM IS GAY?

NOT THAT KIND OF GAY.

AW, COME ON. YOU TELLING ME
NOBODY IS EVEN LEANING THAT WAY?

DO THREESOMES COUNT?

NOBODY EVEN HAD
A GAY FLING?

NOBODY HERE
WENT TO CAMP?

JAMES?

WHY ARE YOU
ASKING ME?

Paul:
ALL RIGHTY, PEOPLE.

I ASSUME YOU ALL GET
TELEVISION.

I'D LIKE TO GET A JUMP-START
ON OUR NEW PROBLEM.

PAULY, WE'RE
IN GREAT SHAPE.

WE ARE?

OH, SURE. WE'RE AN
OPEN ADMINISTRATION.

WE EVEN HAVE PROMINENT
GAY PERSONNEL ON OUR STAFF.

WE DO? WHO?

JAMES.

OH, YEAH.

(TELEVISION PLAYING)

11:00.

WORKDAY IS OVER.

YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.
THAT'S NOT THE MAYOR'S POSITION.

I GOTTA GO.

WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO?

WE COULD RENT A MOVIE.

NAH. I DON'T
WANT TO.

WE COULD READ.

NO.

WE COULD PLAY BOGGLE.

THAT'S IT. I WANT
TO PLAY BOGGLE.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)

HEY, MIKE, THIS IS PAUL.

WE'RE GETTING BEAT UP
ON THIS PARADE THING.

IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA
MAYBE TO HAVE JAMES
IN THERE IN THE MORNING,

ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS.

GET BACK TO ME.
I'LL SEE YOU.

HAVE JAMES THERE TO ANSWER
QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT?

OFF THE RECORD?

WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE A GAY MAN IN
THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.

SINCE WHEN IS JAMES GAY?

SINCE ABOUT 5:15.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

(ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS)

MIKE, IT'S STUART.
SABATINO TURNED OUR OFFER DOWN.

I'VE ROUNDED EVERYBODY UP.

WE'RE ON OUR WAY OVER.
BE THERE IN 3 MINUTES.

CAN WE DO IT?

WELL, I COULD.

I HATE TO SAY THIS,
BUT THIS COULD TURN
INTO AN ALL-NIGHTER.

OH, GREAT. THAT'S
JUST WHAT I NEED.

I GOT A BIG DAY TOMORROW.
I GOTTA BE UP AT 6:00.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
JUST CRASH AT
YOUR PLACE TONIGHT.

NO. I CAN'T.

WHY NOT?

I DON'T HAVE ONE.

WHAT?

MY LEASE--IT RAN OUT
A FEW WEEKS AGO,

AND I DIDN'T BOTHER
RENEWING IT.

OH. SO, THEN, UH...

WE LIVE TOGETHER.

WELL... YEAH, I GUESS.

I FEEL I SHOULD
HAVE BEEN TOLD.

WE ALREADY LIVE TOGETHER.

IT'S NOT LIKE I SNUCK
INTO YOUR APARTMENT.

I'VE BEEN SLEEPING
HERE EVERY NIGHT FOR
A YEAR AND A HALF.

AS A GUEST!

OH, AS A GUEST? REALLY?

LOOK AT THAT PICTURE
OVER THERE, MIKE.

OH, MY GOD.

THOSE AREN'T MY PARENTS.

THEY'RE MY PARENTS.
WHO DID YOU THINK
THEY WERE?

I THOUGHT THEY CAME
WITH THE FRAME.

THAT'S
MY DRESSER, TOO.

ALL RIGHT. OK.
WELL, LISTEN, HONEY,

A PHOTO AND A DRESSER
DOESN'T--

COUCH.

COFFEE TABLE.
TELEVISION.

OK.

THE DOG.

NOT REX.

YOU DO LIVE HERE.

UH-HUH.

WHERE DO I LIVE?

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS SUCH A BIG
DEAL TO YOU.

WE EAT TOGETHER.
WE SLEEP TOGETHER.
WE VACATION TOGETHER.

MIKE, WE'RE
EACH OTHER'S

"IN CASE OF
EMERGENCY, PLEASE
NOTIFY" PERSON.

I CAN'T BREATHE.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO
NOTIFY YOURSELF.

(CLICK)

Mayor, on TV:
WHAT ARE YOU--DRUNK?

WHAT'S IN THE JOURNAL?

"SANITATION STRIKE
CRIPPLES CITY."

WHAT ABOUT THE NEWS?

"MAYOR SNUBS
GAY COMMUNITY."

ANYTHING IN THE POST?

"FAMILY DOG DRIVES
HEART ATTACK VICTIM
TO HOSPITAL..."

"AS MAYOR SNUBS
GAY COMMUNITY."

I LOVE THE POST.

HERE ARE YOUR REMARKS
FOR THE DEDICATION, SIR.

UH...
"PROUD TO BE HERE."

"PROUD
OF A COMMUNITY
ON THE RISE."

MM-HMM.

BASICALLY, YOU'RE JUST--
YOU'RE VERY...

VERY PROUD.

YOU LOOK TERRIBLE,
FLAHERTY.

WE WERE UP ALL NIGHT
WORKING ON THIS THING.

ASHLEY...

FORGET
I SAID THAT, OK?

I DON'T WANT
TO BOTHER YOU.

NO BOTHER. ROMANTIC
PROBLEMS ARE, UH...

RIGHT UP MY ALLEY.

I DID A LITTLE
BIRD-DOGGING IN MY DAY.

LET'S HEAR IT.

ALL RIGHT, UH...
THE THING IS,
ASHLEY FEELS--

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO?

SEND HER TO A SPA.

ALL IS FORGIVEN
IN THE 100-DEGREE MUD.

OR IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, YOU
NAME A STREET AFTER HER...

OR A PARK.

THEY LOVE PARKS.

THOSE ARE 3...

REALLY GOOD
SUGGESTIONS, SIR.

HEY.

HEY.

YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME
ALL MORNING.

I, UH...I THINK WE NEED
TO TALK. DON'T YOU?

EVERYTHING
THAT NEEDED TO BE SAID WAS SAID.

I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THAT.

YOU DROPPED A BOMB
ON ME LAST NIGHT.

I GOT A FEELING YOU DIDN'T
GET THE REACTION YOU
WERE LOOKING FOR.

NO, NOT AT ALL.

I FIND HYSTERICAL PARALYSIS
VERY REASSURING.

I JUST
DON'T SEE WHAT
THE BIG PROBLEM IS.

ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS GET YOUR OLD
PLACE BACK.

WILL YOU TELL ME
WHY MY APARTMENT IS
SO IMPORTANT TO YOU?

US. IMPORTANT TO US.

IT'S OUR SAFETY NET.

IT'S A $900-A-MONTH
EMPTY ROOM THAT ALLOWS YOU
TO DELUDE YOURSELF

INTO THINKING
THAT YOU HAVEN'T
MADE A COMMITMENT.

WELL, IF IT
DOES ALL THAT...

AND IT'S ONLY
900 BUCKS...

ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.

YOU SAID
C-COMMITMENT,
AND, UH...

AND I GOT
A LITTLE CRAZY. OK?

I ADMIT THAT,

BUT I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,

AND YOU'RE RIGHT,
SO...

SO LET'S GO AHEAD.

LET'S DO IT.

WE LIVE TOGETHER.

JUST LIKE THAT.

YEAH.

ISN'T IT GREAT?

I DON'T THINK SO,
MIKE.

NOW I'M REALLY CONFUSED.

WELL,
I'M CONFUSED, TOO.

I MEAN, THIS IS HARD.
YOU KNOW?

I THINK WE SHOULD JUST
TAKE SOME TIME OFF.

WOULD YOU LIKE
TO GO TO A SPA?

LOOK, I'M SURE WITH WORK,
WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER
ALL THE TIME.

YOU KNOW, I THINK
WE SHOULD JUST...

KEEP THE REST
OF OUR RELATIONSHIP
PLATONIC FOR A WHILE.

OH, I SEE. OK.

JUST KEEP EXACTLY
WHAT WE HAVE NOW,

JUST...

WITHOUT THE SEX.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO
VOTE NO ON THAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU,
MICHAEL. I DO.

I LOVE YOU, BUT I ASK
FOR AN HONEST REACTION,

AND ALL I GET
IS A JOKE.

I LOVE YOU, TOO,
HONEY.

WE'RE JUST DIFFERENT.
THAT'S ALL.

BUT, YOU KNOW, HEY, HEY,
DIFFERENT IS GOOD.

THAT'S WHY
IT'S GREAT THAT
WE'RE TOGETHER,

BECAUSE
I THINK WE NEED
PEOPLE LIKE YOU

TO KEEP PEOPLE
LIKE ME IN CHECK,

AND I THINK
THAT WE NEED
PEOPLE LIKE ME

TO KEEP PEOPLE
LIKE YOU FROM
OVERTHINKING THINGS.

AND I THINK THAT--
THAT PEOPLE...

WHO NEED PEOPLE...

THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE
IN THE WORLD.

SEE, WE'RE DIFFERENT.
I WOULD HAVE LAUGHED AT THAT.

MICHAEL,
AS PER YOUR REQUEST,

I HAVE SCHEDULED
A PRESS CONFERENCE
THIS AFTERNOON AT 5:00

TO INTRODUCE A KEY MEMBER
OF OUR STAFF

WHO ALSO HAPPENS
TO BE HOMOSEXUAL.

BUT GUESS WHAT, MIKE?

JAMES HERE
SAYS THAT HE'S NOT GAY.

10 BUCKS
IN THE KITTY, JAMES.

I CAN'T TAKE THIS
ANYMORE, MIKE.
I CAN'T TAKE IT!

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S REAL AND WHAT'S NOT.

I DON'T KNOW DAY FROM NIGHT,
GOOD FROM EVIL.

I'M LOST. I'M LOST.
I'M LOST.

DON'T MELT DOWN
ON ME, PAUL.
NOT TODAY, OK?

I NEED YOU.

THIS IS A VERY
EMOTIONAL TIME.

JAMES BEING GAY
SURPRISED ALL OF US.

ESPECIALLY JAMES.

COME ON, PAULY.
FOR ME?

ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.

IF WE'RE GOING TO GO THROUGH
WITH THIS CHARADE
OF A PRESS CONFERENCE,

WE MAY AS WELL TAKE A COUPLE
OF MINUTES, GO OVER QUESTIONS
YOU'RE GOING TO GET ASKED.

IS IT GOING TO BE
THAT BIG A DEAL?

IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S
FRONT-PAGE STUFF.

IS IT?

YOU MIGHT WANT
TO CALL YOUR PARENTS.

JANELLE, I'D LIKE
YOU TO GET ASHLEY...

SCHAEFFER
ON THE PHONE
FOR ME, PLEASE.

WHAT?

THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.
YOU'VE TRIED 23 TIMES.

I DON'T CARE.

I DON'T FEEL
LIKE AN IDIOT.

YOU'RE NOT THE ONE
MAKING THE CALLS.

HEY, MIKE.
MIKE, GET OVER HERE.

THIS GUY'S KILLING US.

NO. THIS WASN'T
JUST A SLIGHT TO
THE GAY COMMUNITY.

WE CONSIDER IT
TO BE SYMPTOMATIC

OF A HOSTILE AND REPRESSIVE
ADMINISTRATION,

AND UNTIL WE SEE
SIGNIFICANT CHANGES,

WE ARE GOING TO HARASS
AND HAUNT THE MAYOR
AT EVERY TURN.

WE ARE GOING TO MAKE
HIS LIFE MISERABLE
OVER THE NEXT 4 YEARS

AND MAKE SURE THERE AREN'T
4 YEARS AFTER THAT.

WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE
HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT?

WHAT CAN I SAY?

YOU'RE HIRED!
I LOVE THIS GUY.
GET HIM A DESK.

MIKE, MIKE...

UH, LISTEN.

YOU KNOW I'D DO
ANYTHING FOR YOU.

I WOULD.

AND SO WHEN YOU ASKED ME
TO BE GAY FOR YOU,

I GAVE IT A LOT
OF THOUGHT, AND, UH...

LET ME SAY FIRST OFF
HOW HONORED I AM
THAT YOU CHOSE ME.

JAMES, JAMES...

RELAX, OK?

YOU'RE NOT GAY
ANYMORE.

"HOSTILE
AND REPRESSIVE."

THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S A GOOD LINE.

I THOUGHT
"BACKWARD AND MEDIEVAL"
WAS PRETTY GOOD, TOO.

"MORALLY STUNTED
AND MACHIAVELLIAN."

LOOK, IT'S VERY EASY
TO STAND OUTSIDE
THROWING ROCKS,

BUT PLEASE, DO NOT HAVE
THE UNMITIGATED AUDACITY--

2 VERY BIG WORDS...

...TO QUESTION WHAT
I BELIEVE IN, OK?

I'M OFFERING YOU
A CHANCE TO COME IN,

SIT DOWN
AT THE TABLE,
AND MAKE POLICY.

THIS IS
THE OPPORTUNITY
OF A LIFETIME.

IF I ACT NOW, DO I GET
A FREE SET OF STEAK KNIVES?

THE MAYOR
MADE A MISTAKE.

I ADMIT THAT.

BUT WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO?

DO YOU WANT TO STAY
OUT THERE AND BITCH
ABOUT A PARADE,

OR DO YOU WANT
TO COME IN AND MAKE
A DIFFERENCE?

YOU WON'T BE ABLE
TO CONTROL ME.

YOU KNOW THAT.

(DOOR OPENS)

HOW WE DOING IN HERE?

MR. MAYOR, PERFECT
TIMING AS USUAL.

I THINK WE'RE
PRETTY CLOSE TO
MAKING A DECISION.

THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME
TO BE A PART OF
THIS ADMINISTRATION.

I ACCEPT, AND I PROMISE YOU,
AS LONG AS YOU'RE IN OFFICE,

I'M GOING TO BE
YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.

MIKE, IS THAT GOOD?

IT'S GOOD.

SPLENDID!
WELCOME ABOARD.

Woman: GOOD NIGHT.

WE'RE MEETING CARTER
FOR A BEER TO CELEBRATE.
YOU WANT TO JOIN US?

UH, NO,
I DON'T THINK SO.

ALL RIGHT.

WE'RE MEETING AT
HOULIHAN'S, RIGHT?

YES.

REALLY?
BECAUSE I WENT THERE
THE OTHER NIGHT,

AND NONE
OF YOU GUYS SHOWED.

IMAGINE THAT.

UH, CAN I, UH...

CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A SECOND?

YEAH.

TALK.

I THOUGHT THAT PART
WAS GOING TO TAKE
A LOT LONGER,

SO I'M NOT REALLY
PREPARED--AW,
TO HELL WITH IT.

OK, UH...

HERE GOES.

ARE YOU DONE?
BECAUSE THAT WAS
VERY MOVING.

WOULD IT MAKE
ANY DIFFERENCE TO YOU

IF I GAVE UP
MY OWN APARTMENT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
GOOD THAT WOULD DO.

NEITHER OF US WOULD
HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE.

OK, BECAUSE I SUBLET
MY APARTMENT THIS AFTERNOON.

NEEDLESS TO SAY,
I WAS HOPING

FOR A COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT ANSWER.

I JUST...

FIGURED THAT IF WE'RE
GOING TO DO THIS FOR REAL...

WE SHOULD HAVE
A FRESH START.

YOU SURE
ABOUT THIS, MIKE?

MAYBE I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT ALL THIS MEANT,

BUT I DO NOW.

I REALLY...

REALLY WANT US
TO LIVE TOGETHER.

NO NETS?

I LIVE FOR DANGER.

(DOOR OPENS)

Mayor: MICHAEL?

HELLO! WALK OUT WITH ME,
WOULD YOU, PLEASE?

Mike: OH,
JUST ONE THING. UH...

PROMISE TO TELL ME
IF WE GET MARRIED.

ANYTHING
I NEED TO KNOW?

I'VE BEEN BACK AND FORTH
WITH SABATINO ALL DAY.

I DON'T THINK
THE GUY REALIZES
WHAT WE'RE OFFERING.

I'LL GIVE HIM
ANOTHER CALL.

MIKE, IT'S A STRIKE.
THERE'S NO QUICK FIX HERE.
NOW, JUST LET IT REST.

THE CITY'S NOT GOING
TO FALL APART BECAUSE
YOU TAKE ONE NIGHT OFF.

I MEAN, IT PROBABLY WILL.
BUT IT WILL ANYWAY.

SO, UH...WHERE
ARE YOU OFF TO?

A FUND-RAISER. UM...

OH, YEAH--
JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER,
REGO PARK.

WELL, SHALOM, SIR.

L'CHAYIM, MIKE.

Mayor:
* HAVAH NAGILAH... *

GOOD NIGHT,
MR. FLAHERTY.

GOOD NIGHT, SKIPPY.

Man: Sit, Ubu, sit.
Good dog.

[barking]

Man: Moo.