Speechless (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 12 - H-E-R-- HERO - full transcript

Dylan: Man, this looks crazy.

Ray, you're the engineer in the family.

Ours is safe, right?

[Knock on door]

Oh, yeah. This checks out.

The helmet's overkill.

Down the ramp, jump over the dishes.

We're good to go.

Now, JJ, remember... Be...

careful!

Oh, no!



JJ!

Ouch!

The ramp didn't work so much.

What happened?

What's going on?!

I step out for one minute,
and this is what you do?!

You told me this was a sculpture, Dylan.

I complimented you on it!

And you broke the chair!

"They said it was okay."

They are children, JJ.
You should know better.

"No... them."

They wanted Dylan to be the dishes.

I stopped that.



♪ ♪

That's what they sent?

That's the new wheelchair?

It looks used.

It is. And it's what
insurance would pay for.

How does it feel?

Oh!

Dude, what are you doing?

- I-It's got a mind of its own.
- Oh!

Yeah, you want to go, chair? Let's go!

W... Okay.

Okay, just... There's
a thing on the back.

- Yeah.
- Uh... eh... Go ahead.

This is a joke. We need the one he had.

Can you call your guy at insurance?

Yeah, I'll take Stu to lunch.

- Oh, you've got an insurance hook-up?
- Oh, you have to.

You have to work your way in

and help them understand your situation.

Otherwise, you end up with the basics.

And they won't pay for a
lot of your medications,

therapies, equipment.

Yeah, having a disability's expensive.

- It's almost not even worth it.
- [Laughs]

Luckily, I have never met a
claims rep I can't win over.

And Stu's the easiest.

He loves hearing about my
colorful English family.

[Cockney accent] And leaning
into me cool, blimey, gov'nor,

black-cab Britishness is fun, innit?

Was that a question?

♪ ♪

What's that, Ray?

Oh, nothing. Just my new
state-of-the-art hoverboard.

You're getting a hoverboard? I want one.

I'm not gonna be the only DiMeo kid

walking around on two legs,
like some... some fool.

Well, it's not mine yet.

But there's an essay
contest going on at school

with a cash prize.

The topic's "My Hero."

I'm just gonna write something
about growing up with JJ

and... Whoosh!... Slam dunk!

Is that what you think
a slam dunk looks like?

- Does JJ know you're doing this?
- No.

Well, shouldn't you ask him?

JJ, do you mind if I write an
essay about you being my hero?

Maya: He says, "No. That's stupid."

What?!

What the hell?! Why not?

"Because I'm not your hero."

So? Everybody's gonna cry.
I'm gonna get a hoverboard.

Stop being a butthead.

"I don't want you lying about me

to look good and win M-O...

Money."

Great. Now I have to find a real hero.

Who am I gonna write about?

Write about your dad.

He left graduate school
and a promising career

to take a job to provide
for his young, disabled son.

Mom, please! This is no time for jokes!

Fine! I'll think of something.

Hopefully, next year, the
topic will be "Biggest Jerk."

♪ ♪

Ooh, Ray! Be careful! He's
not controlling the chair!

Uh, yes, he is.

Stop! You're not a jerk!

[Both laughing]

Oh, Stu, thank you for
letting me treat you to lunch.

Okay, so, what is the latest
with your wacky family?

Would you do your impression
of your cousin Roger for me?

Oh, yeah.

- [Deep voice] I'm Roger.
- [Laughs] That's...

[English accent] "I'm Roger."

Very deep.

[Normal voice] Ohh.

- Mayaaa!
- Stuuu!

It's the least I could do.
We take care of each other.

Which reminds me...
Now, what is all this

with the refurbished
wheelchair nonsense?

Oh, you didn't hear.

Oh, no, I-I don't cover
health insurance anymore.

- I'm sorry... What?
- Got transferred.

- What?
- To boats.

- Bloody boats?
- Mm-hmm.

Why didn't you just
tell me on the phone?

Did you think I just wanted to hang out?

No, no, I know how the world works,

and, to be honest, I just
figured you got a boat.

Okay, well, for health insurance,

you just have to contact my replacement.

Her name is Janet.

But be warned... She
is a tough nut to crack.

- Is she?
- Yeah.

- I like a challenge.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, it wasn't too long
ago that I was being warned

about another tough
nut, by the name of Stu.

That's not true, is it?

Nope.

♪ ♪

[School bell rings]

Thank you.

"And that is why, just
as E equals MC squared,

Albert Einstein equals my hero."

Sorry to eavesdrop?

But you really didn't sound
connected to the material?

At least I don't say every sentence

like it's a question, Kayla.

I feel like you're attacking me?

Because you know what
I'm saying is true?

Our next semi-finalist
is Donald Bronson.

"My Hero"... It's a pretty
easy essay topic, right?

I could come up here and give
you the obvious answers...

Abraham Lincoln, Einstein.

[Scoffs]

Instead, I'm gonna talk
to you about someone

whose strength of character
inspires me every day...

My friend JJ DiMeo.

I don't think JJ even knows this kid.

Then his performance is impressive?

'Cause he seems really
connected to the material?

♪ ♪

So, what's your plan with this lady?

Oh, it'll be easy.

[Pleasantly] Hello.

I'd like to see Janet in claims.

I'm a client.

Do you have an appointment?

I don't.

But I do have pictures
of my son on Santa's lap

nine years in a row.

I'm sorry. Janet is booked solid.

I completely understand.

Okay. Just a moment.

We need an appointment.
I guess that's that.

Got it.

Now.

♪ ♪

Delivery man: Thanks very much.

All right.

Who is this tough nut?

Based on all the pictures,

she's either a woman
who loves this horse

or a horse who loves this woman.

Can I help you?

You must be Janet. My name is...

No need to tell me your name.

Just tell me your account number.

Oh, what makes you think
we're... we're clients?

Nine out of 10 people
who walk into this office

are clients here to sweet-talk
me into special treatment.

Ohhh. You figured us out. I'm sorry.

We just want to help our son.

Out of those nine, seven
pretend to drop the act

and make a sincere-sounding appeal,

usually with a picture of their child.

Look, I find the people who
come in here asking for things

are usually the people who
are already getting too much.

So, again, account number?

Yeah, we don't need to give you that.

♪ ♪

Well, she was awful.

How am I possibly going
to connect with her?

You can't. And we will never
set foot in this office again.

Right. We will never set
foot in this office again.

Maya, are you choosing
to adhere to the letter

but not the spirit of what I'm saying?

♪ ♪

Janet!

Tally-ho! [Laughs]

Janet.

Jimmy, it's Janet from
the insurance company.

Here?

You love horses, too, and
you come to this stable?

- What are the chances?
- One in 3,058.

How refreshingly literal.

Of course, if you don't care for horses

and you're just trying to
curry favor to help your son,

then that is a different calculation.

Oh, I'm here to ride.

I love these... things.

Yeah, our son?

Why would you bring
that non-horse into this?

I was just gonna go for a
ride. Mind if I join you?

Mm.

I'll just get my horse.

[Quietly] Don't have one,
definitely can't ride one.

[Quietly] Shut up!

Right.

Oh. Hello.

Hello, h-hello there.

How... Come... Come
along, out of your house.

Come along.

Walking out... my horse.

Come along. There we are,
there we are, there we are.

Now stop.

Put my foot in the handle.

Give us a jog up.

One, two, three. Oi!

Ooh!

I'm gonna do everything I can to connect

with that horse-loving robot.

You check her purse,
take a look at her car,

and see if there's anything
else we can bond over.

So purse snatcher, horse thief.

- Yes.
- Got it.

Mom powers. Right.

Come on, Maya, you can do it.

Love your son enough to
be good at riding. Please.

Come along, then. This way, this way.

Holy crap! I'm good!

Hey!

Are you friends with a Donald Bronson?

- "Who?"
- That's what I thought.

He gave a whole speech
about how you're his hero.

He said you're the bravest guy he knows,

you make him a better person.

"Now I'm someone else's speech?"

"Stupid I-N-S...

Inspiration porn." What's that?

It's a portrayal of
people with disabilities

as one-dimensional
saints who only exist

to warm the hearts and open
the minds of able-bodied people.

"I blame Tiny Tim."

It's terrible,

but it's great for winning
essay contests, damn it!

I'm over here trying
to sell Albert Einstein.

Hey, it's not Donald's
fault you picked Einstein.

Come on, man, play to win.

"Let's talk to Donald."

Sounds good.

[Mockingly] Ugh! Einstein is my hero.

He was a lowly patent clerk.

[Snores]

[Normal voice] Come on, dude.

[Laughs]

What is it about riding horses

that makes me want to discuss
interests other than horses?

No?

Horses it is. Giddyup.

Ooh, not really. No.

I must say, your Trakehner is beautiful.

You two really have great chemistry.

Yeah, we have quite a bond.

Do you do dressage with him?

- Dressage?
- Mm.

Of course.

I'm not gonna have a
perfectly good Trakehner

and not do dressage with
him... On him, Janet.

I just love dressage.

Who doesn't?

Oh, it's all I love to do.

Oh, would you show me some, please?

Oh...

- [Car alarm chirps]
- Ooh.

Bingo.

Oh, my God.

I matter.

I matter.

I matter!

Right.

I'm, uh, I'm gonna do
some dressage now...

per your request.

Honey. We got to go. We're late.

We got to pick up our
daughter from track practice.

Track? Oh!

My daughter runs track.

You're a track mom.

I am. I'm a track mom.

What school? Dylan goes to Lafayette.

Dylan DiMeo?

Yes. Do you know her?

My daughter races
against her all the time.

She says she's amazing.

[Whispering] Yes!

[Normal voice] What a small world. Wow.

Oh, yeah, definitely,
l-let's get off these big,

beautiful, not scary animals

and go far from them and discuss.

- Ugh!
- No, no. Wait, wait, wait.

Your dressage.

Oh, no, we don't have
to do that anymore.

We've got something new. It's better.

Oh, tell her to do some dressage for me.

Yeah, honey.

What is dressage, after all, but...

dancing... for horses?

All right, I'm...

I'm not gonna do a lot.

Okay, buddy, here I go.

♪ ♪

W-What are you doing?

I'm doing your bloody
dressage, aren't I?

Oh, no, the horse dances.

Yeah, I'm getting to that part.

What is happening?

Can you please give my
son a better wheelchair?

Ugh! I knew it.

Fine. I know it was wrong.

But I will do anything for my... son.

That's dressage, isn't it?

I mean, I know we've got
other things to discuss,

but that is bloody amazing.

Look, your daughter
is Dylan DiMeo, right?

She is. That part is actually true.

God, it still feels like I'm lying.

My daughter Melissa races
against her tomorrow.

She's never won a race.

Dylan has won every single time.

- Okay.
- Just saying...

If Melissa could win once,
it would make her year,

and then I would owe you.

Are you suggesting that I tell
my daughter to throw the race?

I can't do that.

Then there's nothing I can do for you.

"Dancing for horses"...

Yeah, I see

where I could have phrased
that a little more clearly.

[Indistinct conversations]

Hello, Donald.

Please... Have a seat.

A little birdie told us
about a certain speech.

Funny thing about speeches...

You kind of need teeth to give them.

"Chill the hell out."

Oh.

Listen, about the speech...

I know that I called you my friend,

which, you know, that...
that may be a stretch,

but I honestly do see you as a friend.

A friend from... afar.

JJ only has one friend from afar...

His pen pal Diego.

And you ain't Diego.

"It's I-N-S...

Insulting."

I don't E-X...

Exist to make you feel
better about yourself."

Look! It's JJ and
Donald, the two friends!

The hero and the scribe.

Oh, JJ, I'm so glad I got
to hear Donald's speech.

I used to think of you as just a person,

but you are so much more.

You're a saint.

And if you can do it, I can do it.

Do what?

I'm not sure.

♪ ♪

Okay, I get it. I can see
how that would be insulting.

"So you'll change your speech?"

Oh, no.

No, I, uh, I want to get into Pomona.

I'm trying to get my US
News Top Regional Schools on.

So I'm gonna need to win
this thing, and I'm going to.

"Oh, are you?"

I'm gonna win the essay contest?

How? My speech sucks.

"Give one about me."

"Beat Donald's...

ass."

Oh, yeah! High-five me, bro.

You really are my hero.

Ugh! I hate you!

What kind of monster
asks a 12-year-old girl

to throw a race?

So that's it, then?

JJ's just stuck with
whatever this lady gives him?

Dylan: No, he's not.

Dylan? Where are you?

The hall.

The walls in this house are crazy-thin.

Hi.

I was in the yard for the
beginning of this conversation.

- Dylan, no.
- Just one race.

I see how much you do for
JJ, and I can never help,

but now I can.

I want to.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

So, I guess I'm gonna lose tomorrow.

What does losing feel like?

Does it hurt?

Only at first.

Yeah, you get used to it.

Okay, time to write the most
epic, moving speech of all time.

What should I do?

"Make people cry

and give me P-I-T... What?

"...pity looks and E-N-C...

Encouraging pats on the arm...

All the stuff I hate."

I'm doing this for you, hoverboard.

I mean... JJ.

[Typing] "No matter where I go,

there's one person who
is always at my side,

even when I'm alone...

My brother, JJ."

"Now make me happy all the time."

"All I want is to help the able-bodied

learn and grow."

Hey! This is the Magical Negro!

You know, like in the movies

where the black character's just there

to help the white guy on his journey

and he mainly speaks in folksy sayings.

"Eh, don't know much about blah-blah,

but a man's gotta have a blah."

[Chuckles]

"We both get C-L-I-C...

Clichés."

We sure do, buddy.

Hey, Ray, turn around.

We're gonna do that
thing where you turn back

and we're suddenly gone, as if by magic.

Can we do this another time?
The contest is tomorrow.

Let's write my speech.

We'll have our fun later, JJ.

Able-bodied white guy calling.

♪ ♪

"Sure, JJ doesn't walk.

Who needs to walk when you can soar?"

"Courage is a two-letter
word spelled JJ."

"JJ might be skinny, but
he's got a big, fat asset...

His heart."

Oh, mine are bad but yours were good?

Own the stage.

Feel the words.

"JJ is my hero!"

Okay, now you.

[Voice cracking] JJ is my hero!

Okay, try it again, but weirder.

I just want to see if it's possible.

♪ ♪

Unique New York. Unique New York.

Unique New York.

Go out there and win this.

Go out there and lose this.

What's the point, Mom? I always lose.

Well, I have a feeling today
is going to be your day.

How do you feel about
our daughter doing this?

Proud.

Like a dark, sickening abyss of pride.

- Yeah, right here. It's...
- Mm.

Glorious.

Man: On your mark, get set...

[Starter pistol fires]

[Spectators cheering]

My family is different
from other families.

16 years ago, my brother, JJ,

was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

And even though I wasn't even born yet,

that moment made me the man I am today.

[Students murmuring]

Go, go. Come on.

Go!

[Spectators cheering]

You can do this!

Move your body!

Come on!

Smell the trophy! Be the trophy!

Dylan! What are you doing?!

Is it hard sometimes?

Sure.

But JJ knows in his heart

that the only real disability in life

[voice breaking] is a bad attitude.

That's true.

And that is what makes him so...

[Whispering] "Brave."

[Sighs]

I can't do this.

She can't do this.

Run, Dylan!

Run!

Run! Run!

- Go! Just run!
- Don't let her beat you, little girl!

- Do it!
- Screw it! Run!

Go on!

Come on, Dylan, you can do it!

Go on, darling! Run!

- Go on, darling!
- Run!

Come on!

She's gonna win!

Yes!

[Spectators cheering]

My brother isn't a hero.

[Whispering] This feels off-message.

I know him better than anyone.

And I can tell you, in all honesty,

he can be a real jerk.

He teases me and tortures me,

runs me over with his wheelchair.

He told me I was adopted and
my real mom was Nancy Grace!

[Snorts, laughs] Nice.

He isn't brave, either.
He's just living his life.

And there's nothing brave about that.

[Scattered light applause]

That did not make me feel good.

Whoo!

Congrats, champ.

I could have lost. It was just one race.

Oh, darling, no.

I tasted it for a second... defeat.

I did not care for it.

Put it behind you.

I promise... You will never lose again.

Sure. That's a thing we can promise.

Not only did Melissa
lose, but for a second,

she thought she was going
to win and then she lost.

She's never getting over this.

Yeah, we should never have agreed...

I don't have time for this, okay?

I have to find my daughter.

Ooh, let me check her usual spot.

Nah, she's not behind Dylan.

[Scoffs]

Go on. Go and celebrate
with your friends.

[Sighing] We'll find a way.

Oh, I know we will.

And in the meantime,
our integrity's intact,

and that is the best
gift we can give JJ.

And, time permitting,
our other children.

[School bell rings]

And the winner...

Not to be rude to all the... losers,

but let's just say it all together.

All: Donald Bronson!

- Dr. Miller: Yay, Donald!
- Oh!

Whoo!

This is for you, JJ!

Thanks, Donald.

Let's go.

Hey! How'd the speech go, Ray?

[Chuckles] No one liked it.

- Kenneth!
- No, it's true. No one did.

"I liked it."

Oh! Mrs. DiMeo! I'm
so glad I caught you.

I was looking for Melissa,

when I heard the most heartfelt,
honest words about your JJ.

His friendship with that
Donald is such an inspiration.

Call me. We'll make sure
JJ gets what he needs.

Yeah, thanks, Janet!

Let's have dinner with Donald soon!

We still have our integrity, right?

Enough of it.

"God bless us...

every one."

In the end, that boy got
the wheelchair he deserved.

Can you please stop doing that?

His brother didn't win
that speaking contest,

but he walked away with
something more important...

His soul.

These kids over here?
Well, they're making out.

And that kid? He wears
the same shirt every day.

And ol' Kenneth? Well [chuckles]
he turned out just fine.

Fall turned to winter,

and a stiff breeze
blew ol' Kenneth away...

[Echoing] if he was ever there at all.