Spaced (1999–2001): Season 2, Episode 7 - Leaves - full transcript

Tim, Daisy, Mike and Brian go into panic mode and try to find Marsha to get her to come back after they find out that she's selling the flat. Sophie is offered a job at Marvel Comics in Seattle, and decides to take it. And with the future of her current living situation looking bleak, Daisy decides to head back home to work at a local news paper. After coming up with a "bloody spectacular" plan, Marsha decides to come home, but Diasy doesn't know that. He decides to rush to the train station to get Daisy, while Mike is sent to take Sophie to the airport, not getting a chance to say goodbye. Minus having Sophie there, everyone ends up happy in the end.

(♪ 0asis: "Half the World Away")

♪ I would like to leave this city

♪ This old town
don't smell too pretty

♪ And I can feel the warning signs

♪ Running around my mind

♪ So what do you say?

♪ You can't give me the dreams
that are mine anyway

♪ You're half the world away ♪

(Daisy) 'They say the family
of the 21st century

'is made up of friends,
not relatives.

'Then again,
maybe that's just bollocks.'

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This is the living room.

- It's really nice.
- It's a great flat.

What's going on?

- Hi. Are you the tenants?
- Yes.

Mrs Klein gave me the key.

What do you mean?

I'm sorry.
If you'll excuse me for a second.

This is the guest bedroom.

0bviously a bit
of a state at the moment,

but you can use it
for storage, utilities,

or if you want to bring
a little life into this world.

- It's perfect for a child.
- Yes, it's very...

- Homey.
- Yes, it's very homey.

- Mmm.
- What's in here?

Would you mind telling us
what's going on?

Mrs Klein has decided
to sell the house.

It's a very good time, actually.
House prices are up.

I believe this property
has trebled in value

- since its last purchase.
- Really. Wow!

If you'll excuse me,
I've got to get to the office.

This place will get
a lot of attention.

I'm sure Mrs Klein will give you

- the relevant details.
- You'd think.


Excuse me,

how old are you?

I'm 25 and my wife's 24.



- Bloody hell.
- D'you mind?

- What are we gonna do?
- They were younger than us.

- What?
- They were younger than us.

0nly physically.

You heard the man.
The house has trebled in value.

That's enough incentive
for Marsha to move,

besides being pissed off with us.

Trebled. Really?

- Yes.
- Wow!

You find out what Brian knows.

- I like your thinking.
- Thanks.

- Where are we?
- The cupboard.

- Why?
- I've no idea.


Maybe it was a mistake.
Maybe they got the wrong house.

- Shh, Brian.
- Brian, you all right?

(Shrieking on tape)



I'm having difficulty vocalising
my emotion, so I'm using this.

This is a good bit.

(Agonised wailing)

She's gone to Manchester.

- Marsha's gone to Manchester?
- No, Twist.

- Thank Christ.
- Twist's gone to Manchester?

Said she needed some time to think.

You know, she likes
the gay scene up there.

- When?
- Last night. Didn't she call?

(Thumping music)

Is that Conrad?

No. No, it's Daisy.

Sorry. I didn't mean
to call you. I'm in Manchester.

Loads to tell.

Speak soon. Bye.

(Gasps) I love this one.

Come on, boys. Woo!

0h, yeah. She did.

(Wailing continues)

I thought you were upset
about the house.

Why would I be upset
about the house?

This house is the one thing
I can rely on,

the one port in a storm.

The one... thing

which isn't susceptible
to the whims of love.

It's the solid core
of my otherwise painful...

(Wailing stops)

(Turns tape over)

(Wailing starts)

...tortured existence.

I don't know what I'd do
without this old friend.

This rock. This island of calm
in the ocean of life.

(Sobbing on tape)

What did you want
to talk about anyway?


I wonder why she went.

We've got to convince her.

- Twist?
- Marsha. We've got to find her

and say, "We're sorry.
I know we've done bad,

"we've hurt you, but please,

"for the sake of us, for
Brian, for the sake of...

please don't sell the house."

- Not in such a whiny voice.
- 0K.


Hello, Mike.

How's Sophie?

- She's very well, thank you.
- Good. Good.

Have you heard about the house, Mike?

- It's trebled in value.
- Half a million apparently.

What are you doing?


- Scone?
- (Both) No thanks.

Has Marsha contacted you?

Actually, I will have one.

Cream and jam inside.

Look... Clotted cream?

- 0h, yes.
- I will, then.

Have you heard from Marsha?

Some guy on a motorbike
picked up her stuff.

Maybe she joined
the Hells Angels.

No, she was thrown out of the
Hells Angels in '82, lewd behaviour.

Where would she go?
Who does she know other than us?

Who would she turn to
in a time of need that is,

or might associate with,
a big guy on a motorbike?

(All) Amber.

(♪ Heavy metal)

(Amber) Mum, where've you been?!

Shopping. We've got
to drink, haven't we?

I wanted to go out!

(Marsha) 0h, moan, moan.
That's all it ever is with you.

- I'm telling you, Mum.
- Leave me alone.

I'm having no part in this.

We have to find out
where Amber lives.

- This is wrong.
- It's the only way.

- Will you stop it?
- Do you wanna be homeless?

Buy Loot every morning?

Do you want to see
what Marsha's room looks like?

(All) 0oooh.

Wow, look at this.

(Tim) Bloody 'ell.

Hey, is this what we're looking for?

42, Welwyn Terrace, Cricklewood.

- Phone number?
- No. We'll surprise her.

- Can we take the van?
- We should start starting her.

Daisy, let's rock.

- Daisy.
- Look.

We don't have time for this.

There's Colin.





0h, my God. You go ahead.
I'm gonna go get Colin.

- He's got into the neighbours'.
- Sod Colin.

I'm not gonna sod Colin.

Get your priorities straight.
This is our home.

- But he could get lost or run over.
- He can look after himself.

When did you start giving a shit?

- Fine.
- Daisy...

No, it's fine. Excuse me.

Well, that's just great.

We're supposed to be
a united front.

It's not gonna look good
if it's just you and me.

Doesn't have to be
just you and me.

You got a tape player?

- No.
- Thank fuck.

(♪ "How Much Is That Doggie
In The Window" playing inside)



♪ How much is that doggie
in the window?

♪ The one with the waggly tail

♪ How much is that doggie
in the window?

♪ I do hope that dog...

♪ I do hope that dog... ♪

(Record skipping)

♪ I do hope that dog...
I do hope that dog...

♪ I do hope that dog...

♪ I do hope that dog...
I do hope that dog...

♪ I do hope that dog...

♪ I do hope that dog...
I do hope that dog... ♪

(♪ Suspenseful string music)

Listen. When we get there,
I'll do the talking.

I am the only one capable of
serious communication.

Sorry, I didn't mean to suggest
you're not good communicators.

- All right, Mike?
- Yes.

- Brian?
- (Mutters)

I mean it's partly my fault
we're in this mess

and I should do the talking.

- What are you gonna say?
- Well...

Marsha, they say the family
of the 21st century

is made up of friends,
not relatives,

and if that's true, you're
the best auntie I've ever had.


(♪ Romantic music)

- (Mike) Tim?
- (Screams)

- You all right?
- I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?

The light's green.

♪ I do hope that dog...

♪ I do hope that dog...
I do hope that dog... ♪

That's his favourite.

Why are you cooking it?

It got rather dirty.

You must be from number 23.

Yes. And I'll just be...

taking my dog home now.

You could stay
for a cup of tea if you like.

0h, no thanks. We've got stuff to do.

Well, he's welcome here any time.

If you're going out or something,

just pop him round
and I'll take good care of him.

Yeah. Thanks.


Don't be a stranger.

I'm sure you'll see him again.

I know I will.


Your favourite.


Why, Colin?

Have I done something wrong?


Bye, Tim!


I treat you right.
I don't neglect you.

Do I?


Not now, Colin.

Just piss off.

0h, God. I can change.

I know things have been
wrong between us, but...

what's she got that I haven't?


Here you go love, your favourite.

Wide screen.


This is it.

0h, my God. There she is.

- Marsha?
- How did you find me?

- Intuition.
- We broke in to your bedroom.

- Yes, and that.
- Look!

You're wasting your time.
I've made my mind up.

Marsha, please.
Just don't sell the house.

- It's trebled in value.
- Yeah...

- Really? Phew.
- Brian.

I'd rather we just called it a day.

We really want you back.
What will make you understand that?

Something bloody spectacular.

I'm sorry. Just understand.

We only did it
because we love living there.

And you're a big part of that.

They say the 21st century family
is friends and not relatives.

If that's true, you're
the best auntie I've ever had.

Kiss... my... ass.

Aren't you gonna ask how it went?

How'd it go?

Really badly.

Colin's gone.


He went next door.

0h, Daisy. I'm sorry.
How did that happen?

He walked.

Right. Right, sorry.

My mum used "going next door"
as a euphemism for being dead.

Whoa. Does that mean
my rabbit's dead?

It's been 18 years, Mike.
Where'd you think he was?

Next door.

That's it, then.

(Sighs) Marsha's gone. Twist's gone.

Colin's gone.

- (Mike) My rabbit's gone.
- Mike's rabbit's gone.

Everyone leaves.


Come on, Daisy. Don't be silly.

Not everybody leaves.

Tim, I've been offered a job
in Seattle, working for Marvel.

You know how I said not everybody
leaves? Well, they do.

(Door shuts)

- When are you off?
- Tomorrow.

That's a bit short notice.

I got the call last night.
They want me to go straightaway.

I'm sorry, Tim.

It's just, we didn't get a chance

to see how things
worked out with us.

This doesn't have to be the end.

We can still have sex
on the internet.

That's what I was doing before.

- What time are you off?
- 12.

Will you come to the airport?

Yeah, of course.

Marvel? That's really good.

What are you doing
for the next 13 hours?

Right, I'm bushed.
I'll see you guys in the morning.


What are we gonna do?

Short of something
bloody spectacular, I've no idea.

I'm off.


Me, too.

(Door squeaks)

(Beeping and cogs turning)


Hello, boys.

Hello, Sarge.

I wonder if you privates

wouldn't mind doing me
a little favour.

Yeah, hello.
Could you tell me the times

of trains to Colwyn Bay, please?

The first one.

Well, the third one.




- What's that?
- Someone at the door.

Tim, Tim.

Right, yeah.

That could've been
a little bit embarrassing.

- Get dressed.
- What?

Get dressed. We're gonna see
Marsha. I'll be back in five.

All right.


(Screaming on tape)


- Can we go later?
- Why?

- Frightened.
- Come on, Brian.

You've gotta be strong.
Are you man or mouse?



(♪ Thunderbirds theme)


I'm a man.

Yeah, come on. Let's roll.


- Ready.
- 0h, 0K.

Right, I'll get Mike to give me
a lift to your place.

I'll see you there about 11:30.

0K. Good luck, Bisley.

With what?

With whatever it is you've got to do.

Right, yeah.

- It's on.
- What is?

Something bloody spectacular.

0h, mama.

Are you sure about this, Mike?

- Don't worry, I've done this before.
- Is this above board, Sergeant?

- Are you questioning my orders?
- No, Sergeant.

Do what I say,
I'll recommend you for promotion.

I don't see how this
concerns the military!

- Are we not soldiers, Dexter?
- Yes, Sergeant.

Do we not have a duty
to keep the peace?

- Yes, Sergeant.
- Could you, in good conscience,

neglect to intervene
in a solvable conflict?

No, Sergeant.

Then get your boom box
and let's rock.

(♪ This Morning theme on TV)


What are you gonna do?
Blow me up?

♪ Whatever I said

♪ Whatever I did I didn't mean it

♪ I just want you back for good

♪ Want you back, want you back

♪ Want you back for good

♪ Whenever I'm wrong, just tell
me the song and I'll sing it

♪ You'll be right and understood

♪ Want you back, want you back

♪ I want you back for good ♪

♪ 0oh-ooh ooohhh oh-ooh ooohhh ♪

(Train whistle)

We're going to have
such fun, you and me.

It's going to be lovely.

We won't need that any more.


(♪ The Nutcracker Suite)

From now on, we're going
to call you Lancelot.

0h, wow, look who came back.

Beer, Brian?

No, thanks.
Got to do an installation.

- Good work today, soldier.
- Thanks... sir.

Hey, what's that?


(Daisy) 'Dear Tim,
please forgive the letter.

'But I'm feeling a bit confused.

'Everything seems to have
changed recently.

'We all seem to be drifting apart
like leaves from a once-green oak.'

Skip to the end.

'By the time you read this,
I'll be gone.

'I've decided to go away for a while.

'Maybe a bit of distance
will do me good.

'Who knows, if things work out,
maybe I'll stay.

'Please give my love to everyone.

'I know you understand.
Your friend, Daisy.'

- Shit!
- What's the matter?

- Daisy's gone.
- Where?

- She didn't say.
- (Colin barks)

0h, thanks. Colwyn Bay.
11:32. St Pancras.

I've got to stop her.

- What about Sophie?
- Shit.

Do you need me to do
another banner?

No, Brian.
I don't think that'll help.

Do your installation.

♪ I'm leaving on a jet plane ♪

She's not answering.

Mobile telephone.

♪ Don't know
when I'll be back again ♪

She's still not answering. Shit!

0K. In the next 30 minutes, I've
got to stop Daisy at the station...

- Mmm.
...go to the airport,

- Go on.
- 0ne means of transport...

- Right. cab money,

and there's a Tube strike.

There is no way we can do both.

(Beeping and cogs turning)



There is a way we can do both.

We do have another means
of transport.

Not my skateboard.

No, no. What do we have,

other than my van,

which has wheels and is slightly
quicker than walking?

You've gotta be fucking kidding.

- All right.
- All right.

(Music drowns dialogue)



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Happy New Year 2015 - New Year, New Color ;-)