Space Force (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - It's Good to Be Back on the Moon - full transcript

With the launch just days away, General Naird copes with an unprepared crew. Captain Ali searches for the perfect words, and Erin visits her mom.

I could not be prouder
of these brave men and women.

They are truly the best of America.

And as we, as a nation,

look to extend our reach
to the moon and beyond,

we find great comfort in the knowledge
that this courageous team

will lead us there

along with the many, many engineers
and scientists

who stand behind them.

Wonderful words, General.
Wonderful words.

We have time for some questions.
Anybody have any questions?

Glasses. The guy in the glasses.



Is it true most of you are not astronauts?

Becoming an astronaut
is a little like losing your virginity.

You can't claim it until after it happens.

Not all who go into space
will be astronauts.

Some will be asked to weld.

Others will be asked to wire.

Unbelievable. What a great answer
to a terrible question.

Thank you very much
for ruining the moment.

You can sit down.
Anybody else have a question?

Anybody? Meredith, are you here?

Text me next time. Meredith, right here.
Third row. Meredith, everybody. Yeah.

This mission is happening
four years ahead of schedule.

- Mm-hmm.
- Impressive.

How is it possible that you all are ready,
and don't you feel you're being reckless



with the lives of your novice crew?

-Well, that's an excellent question.

And to your point, we are,
in fact, years ahead of schedule.

You have to keep in mind
that the talented tradespeople on our team

have been working at
the top of their profession for decades.

So, in effect, they have been training
for this their entire lives.

They just didn't know it.

Wow.

Really handled a terrible question
very well.

Unbelievable. Thank you so much.

Okay, I mean, I think we nailed it,
but does anybody else have any questions?

I don't see any.

Uh, okay, good. Thank you guys so much.

How you doing? Feeling confident?

My entire career will depend on
what happens in the next 36 hours.

I'll never get a second chance at this.

And... And frankly,
I'm feeling the weight of that.

- I'm sure you are, as well.
- I'll be fine.

No. It won't be fine, Mark.

If it doesn't go well,
you'll certainly lose your position.

I'll land on my feet.

No. No, you won't, Mark.

There are too many eyes on us.

Stop it. Stop it!

I get it. Keep it together, Adrian.

All right? Just keep it together.

- You know what you're gonna say?
- What?

When you step out.

The first woman on the moon.
I mean, that's crazy.

- Congratulations.
- Oh.

I... I don't know.
I'm just gonna do my job.

All right.
It's just that, when you start talking,

a billion people
are gonna be staring at your mouth.

What are you gonna say?

You know what? Just get dressed,

or I'm gonna send you to space
in your underwear.

Yes, ma'am.

Verify actuators.

Verified.
Space Force One ready for launch.

- Good luck, spacemen.
- Thank you, sir.

- I don't think I wanna go anymore.
- Too late for that.

T-minus 45 seconds.

- I'm getting out.
- Nope! No! Don't get out.

- I'm leaving too.
- Don't do that.

You guys are gonna have a great trip.

A really wonderful time. Enjoy.

You're gonna love the moon.

If not, do we get our money back?

Did you buy tickets from someone?

T-minus 30 seconds.

How do you get the seatbelt open?

Do not take off your seatbelt.

I forgot about my bird!

Oh, my God. I'll feed your bird.

What's your bird's name?
I'll take care of it.

They're all gonna die.

Oh, no. Here she is.

She took
the goddamn bird with her.

- What?
- Stop the rocket.

- Abortion!
- Nope! Not possible.

Mark, an astronaut has the right

to halt any launch.

Go for launch.

We have liftoff.

Fuck, yeah!

Coming up on bearing separation.

Approaching max q.

Side booster shut-down.

And... separation.

We have exited Earth's orbit
and reached trajectory.

Next stop, the moon.

Whoo!

- Thirty-six hours.
- Thirty-six hours.

Hey. Nice rocket.

Ah. Went up good, right?

Really high.

Uh...

Are you gonna say something? Or...

- Mm. It's coming.
- Okay.

Um...

Would you care to go to dinner
with me tonight?

We could continue the conversation.

Perhaps add other topics.

So it's a, uh, business dinner?

This would be a date.

Oh! Hey, ho!

Okay. Yeah.

- Sure.
- Okay.

Okay, good.

Great.

I...

would like to point out
that I am wearing a wedding ring.

Okay. So now I know what we'll talk about.

I just want to be
completely up-front with you.

I don't know
if you're familiar with my situation.

My wife is incarcerated.

Yeah. People talk.

So I am in an awkward position right now

where I am both married and available.

I understand if it's too much.

No. That's... cool.

I mean, I'm sorry for your wife,
but good for me!

- No, I'm just kidding. That's weird.
- Okay.

- But cool.
- Eight o'clock, then.

Okay. All right.

Listen, uh...

really I'm interested
in mostly just companionship.

Okay.

Like a friend thing? Or is it...

Well, initially, that's...
that was my impetus for...

- Okay. All right.
- All right, all right.

But, I mean,
if something else were to come of it,

- whether it be emotional or physical...
- Okay.

- That sounded really creepy. I apologize.
- No, I think I get it.

We'll see what happens.

- Okay.
- Wing it.

- That sounds good. We'll wing it.
- Okay.

I still love my wife.

What?

She's, uh, obviously a part of my life,

but for the next 40 to 60 years,
not so much.

Okay.
You know what we could do on the date

is not talk so much about your wife.

- That's a good idea.
- Just, uh, something to noodle.

We won't talk about the wife...

or sex, or anything.

- What?
- Nope. Good night.

That went pretty well.

Erin!

Hey, Dad.

Hey, I didn't know you were running again.

Uh, yeah. Wanna run with me?

- Sure.
- I'll slow down for you.

I'll slow down for you.

Ha.

- Go for Naird.
- General, we have an emergenc...

You sound funny. Where are you?

I'm running. What's the emergency?

I always forget
you have a watch phone.

- That is so cool.
- Brad, what's the emergency?

Oh, uh, it's bad, sir. It's the Chinese.

You better come in.

I... I gotta go.

Okay.

The Chinese just claimed
the entire Sea of Tranquility crater

as a "territory of scientific research."

But no one can own part of the moon.

It violates the Outer Space Treaty.

Technically they're not claiming
to own it, just to study it.

See, their research base is here.

We're supposed to land here
and set up a habitat here.

About 100 miles away.

Hundred miles seems like
plenty of privacy for their study.

We planned a very specific
lunar landing site.

It would mess up our mission to alter it.

A fellow scientist would be loath
to put our mission at risk.

We need to open a direct line
to their research center.

Do you know anybody there?

Science is a brotherhood.

Even if we don't know each other,
we know each other.

Dr. Zhang, this is Dr. Adrian Mallory.

First of all, allow me to say that
I am delighted to be speaking with you,

colleague to colleague.

And also that your study of the enzymes

which enable the digestion of human hair,

that was a game changer,

and I have the greatest respect
for Tsinghua University.

What's your name?

Dr. Adrian Mallory.

Like the duck?

No.

Uh...

Let me begin by congratulating you
on your lunar success.

We are the first to live on the moon.

Well, I'm not sure it matters so much
who was first,

but it was a great achievement
for humanity nevertheless.

We are the first.

Uh-huh.

Did news of something called
the Apollo missions

reach you there in China?

Maybe that happened.

Maybe not.

We've also heard of the green screen.

But your astronauts slept in the capsule.

The Chinese live in a moon house.

So we are the first.

Yes. Um...

Listen, Dr. Zhang.

I'm calling you
in the hopes of clearing something up.

The media is reporting here
that you made a statement,

a declaration,
which I'm sure was misinterpreted,

mistranslated,
but they seem to think that,

on behalf of China,

you laid a claim
to the entire Sea of Tranquility.

You stay out. Thank you.

But, Dr. Zhang, you understand that
no country can own any part of the moon.

You can't make a claim to...

Not a claim.

We're simply occupying an area
of scientific study.

We study the lunar temperature.

And you landing to the crater,
that will change the temperature.

Go see other craters.

Thank you. Stay away. Thank you.

Mark, don't overreact.

I'll take this through
the proper channels.

In the meantime,

we should probably look for
an alternative landing site.

But don't underreact, either.

I don't wanna start
an international incident.

And we don't wanna jeopardize our mission.

And, by the way, "Thank you, stay out,
thank you" is not very fucking fraternal.

- A... Adrian.
- General. General.

Mr. Broser's criminal history

- reaches as far back as 1998...
- What is it?

When he was accused of starting
a San Bruno County

and state park brush fire.

We were okay with the plea deal

'cause we thought
he'd get shot in Afghanistan.

But I don't mind him going to the moon.

I mind him coming back.

What the fuck, Brad?

- Why didn't you vet that guy?
- What?

That's inexcusable.

- Me? I don't know how to vet someone.
- Ugh.

It's easy, Brad. You just give the name
to our head media manager.

Isn't that right, Tony?

Tony?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Look up.
- The general...

- wants to talk to you.
- Yeah. I'd love to talk to him.

- Look at me.
- Right there.

- Sure. Yeah.
- Tony?

- Mm-hmm.
- Look up.

- I'd like to see you outside.
- Yeah. Of course.

- Somebody's gonna get vetted now.
- I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you.

Try it. I'll snap your neck like a twig.

- How are you, sir?
- What the fuck?

What the fuck are you doing?
I told you a million times.

Why didn't you vet him?

I told you a million times to vet him!
And you didn't vet him!

Next time you're gonna do it!

All right.
I need you guys to tell me all the dirt.

Anything terrible
any of you might've done.

Who wants to go first?

Don't be scared.
We're gonna find out anyway.

Anybody, all right?
Take it off like a Band-Aid.

One, two, three. Somebody go.

My grandfather is a terrorist in Ireland.

Holy shit.
You came out big from the start.

Has he killed anybody?

No. He's a terrorist
that doesn't kill people.

Okay. Okay.

I went to a Halloween party
a few years ago as a film negative.

So... blackface?

Wait. What? You did what?

A film negative. It was clever.

All right.

I went as Gandhi once.

That is not okay.

Right?

No, it's not.

Okay.

I can't believe
I even have to ask this question.

Has anybody masturbated
in front of an unwilling employee?

Define masturbation.

I will not.

Well, however you define it,
I definitely did it.

Oh, my God.

It is very delicate.

Either we seem weak
and let the Chinese have their way,

or we risk pissing them off,
and tensions could escalate.

Exactly.
I need guidance from the administration.

Hmm.

Or... I'm not telling anyone about this.

You're not telling me about this.

We never spoke.

You just handle it,
and I'll write in my notes that

we talked about you meeting a hooker
in an airport bathroom.

- What was her name again?
- Hooker, sir?

There was no hooker.

Fine. I'll just call her "Charisma."
That's my hooker's name.

Oh, God.

- Did you find an alternate landing spot?
- No.

Our people enter the moon's orbit
in 23 hours.

They do?

Adrian, get some rest.

Take a bath. I'm gonna need you sharper
than ever tomorrow.

Well, I can't take a bath because,
as I mentioned Monday,

I am out of bath salts.

But nobody ever listens to me!

How is yours?

It's delicious. Yes.

You know, people are always talking
about the environmental impact of beef,

but, I mean, cows must be, like,
"Are you kidding me?

What about the impact of people?

Don't blame everything on our farts."

I just said that so loud.

Well, now everyone in the restaurant knows

that you care deeply
about our environment.

So are you actually allowed to date me?

Uh, that is the arrangement
as it stands, yes.

But, like, the military,
they're cool with it?

Oh, yes, you're an independent contractor
and not a part of the military. So, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Then why did we drive so far
to go to dinner?

'Cause, like, I'm actually open

to seeing whatever happens next
in this wacky...

whatever we're doing. Um...

But it just doesn't feel good
to feel like I'm being hidden away,

you know, like an old-timey mistress.

I don't want someone
to tell my daughter about this

before I get a chance to say something.

I feel like it should come from me.

Oh.

Yeah, sure. No.
My God, I totally understand.

I'm sorry.

Oh, no, no, no. Thank you for getting it.

No. God.
No, that's just you being a good father.

Well...

Just tell her before we have sex, okay?

Yep. Yep, yep, yep.

- Yep. Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay.

You don't tell me where to land.
I tell you where to land.

You don't know me. And no, fuck you.
I don't know you.

What?

And your paper was...

it was absolutely redundant crap,
you nutsack.

Your data set was unreliable.

You confused me with the mallard?
I will fuck you up.

Anyway, you only got your position

after your uncle was appointed
to the National People's Congress.

Oh! Is that a coincidence?

I don't think so.

I will fuck you up.

I will fuck you up.

Hey. Chan. Are you there?

Go for Chan.

"Go for Chan."

I wasn't sure if this was serious.

Can you switch me to a private channel,
please?

Yeah.

Hey. How's space, dude?

Uh, space is good.

Listen, um,
I think I was supposed to prepare some,

like, awesome sentence
for when I set foot on the moon.

A dozen people have set foot on the moon.
They only ever remember Armstrong.

Yeah. I will be the first black person
and the first woman.

I think people
are gonna be paying attention.

Pressure.

Okay. What do you got?

Okay.

I'm thinking,

"It's good to be back on the moon."

- "It's good to be back on the moon"?
- Yeah.

That's terrible.
Who are you even talking to?

Who's your audience here?

Okay, how about,

"Ladies, if you want to lose
a quick 60 pounds, go to the moon."

Oh, thank you. Yes.
You think that's better?

Well, it's physics.

It's sexist.

Okay. How about,

"There goes the neighborhood."

Oh, you're so dead when I get back.

No, listen, everyone's just trying
to tell me what to do.

Like, my women's studies professor
was like,

"You have to claim this for women."
My mom said to thank Jesus and Dr. King.

Even my ex texted me to shout,
"Go Broncos."

- Hmm. That's a good one.
- No.

I'm the one who worked for this.

I like "It's good to be back on the moon."

Why can't I say what I wanna say?

I respect that.

"It's good to be back on the moon."

It's gonna be a classic.

Thanks.

I mean, do consider
"There goes the neighborhood."

I think that's good.

Goodbye. I have moon business.

Morning.

Morning, bug.

I woke up so hungry today.

That's all the running you've been doing.

Listen, I, uh, have a question for you.

Yeah?

What would you think
if I were to start dating someone?

What?

I don't know.

Your mom and I,

well, we have this forced separation.

- We're not...
- Dad, no.

Ew.

You're married.

That's a terrible idea.
Mom would be crushed.

- I don't know about that.
- I do.

God. No.

What are you even saying?

You and Mom have your visits.

- Gross. Okay, that's plenty.
- Mmm.

At your age?

When would you even date? There's no time!

You don't even have time
to help me with homework.

Please... Please don't date someone.
Please?

So sorry. Just gotta get to work.

Oh, hi, Erin.

Uh...

Okay.

Erin, this is Kelly.

Kelly has a background
as a structural engineer.

I can't believe you.

Honey. Hon. Hon.

Oh, God.

- What about the Fra Mauro formation?
- Asteroids.

The Sea of Serenity
has the same protection as Tranquility.

Not in our current orbit.

- It would add days.
- Right.

- Mark.
- Huh?

I have been up all night
thinking about this.

We are being bullied.

Yeah. Possibly.

No. Mark, this is about
standing up for ourselves.

Here's a "what if." Okay?

What if your friend, who runs the Navy,

were to move a carrier strike group

or, no, two carrier strike groups,

into the South China Sea?

That would certainly be
a very aggressive and provocative act.

But would it work?

We are trying to de-escalate,
not start a war.

You know the old sport adage,

"Sometimes the best de-escalation
is an escalation."

You recounted to me yourself

that when the Air Force
is at a loss of what to do,

they drop a bomb.

So why can't we do that?

Please, just walk me through how...
How this could work to our advantage if...

Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Brad, see if you can get General Tsengjun
up on the screen.

- Yes, sir.
- Great.

I met him a few years ago
at an anti-proliferation conference.

He's a good man.

Mark, you know that this kind of
personal diplomacy yields no results.

Sometimes it's important
that cooler heads prevail.

Hi. What is the country code for China?

Eighty-six!

I was so happy to hear
you're running again.

Dad told you?

No, uh, one of the girls mentioned it.

She kind of couldn't stop talking
about you.

Even when I told her
you're just in high school.

Oh.

I think that's why she's here.

Don't hang out with her.

Mom, there's something you need to know,

and it really shouldn't come from me,
but there's no one else.

So, uh...

Oh, God.

Dad's cheating on you.

He is?

Yeah.

Do you like her? Is she nice to you?

- What the fuck?
- Erin, the f-word.

What the shit?

Okay, well, no one says that.

I just told you Dad's having an affair.

Yes. Okay.

He said he wasn't gonna tell you,
so I'm glad he changed his mind.

You knew?

It was my idea.

I'm seeing someone too.

A guard.

Her name's Louise.

She makes me laugh.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

- Okay.
- Honey?

Well, now what did I do?

General, it has been a few years.

Yes, it has.

How are your kids?

Just one kid. You know our policy.

- Of course.
- General, how can I help?

General, I was hoping to smooth over
some of the friction

between our moon bases.

This is how we should always do it.

I completely agree.

I admire your initiative.

I admire your responsiveness.

What is this fucking shit?

General,
we would happily share Tranquility.

- Bullshit.
- It's just that our team already unloaded

a lot of heavy equipment there,

and then took the forklift apart
and turned it into a rover.

Very clever.

I am sorry, but we must ask
that you respect the boundaries

of our temperature experiment.

You understand.

Of course.

Let us keep an open line of communication.

- Thank you, General.
- Mmm.

Well, you laid down
like a hooker on quaaludes.

Heavy equipment.

Who brings heavy equipment to the moon?

Bring up the images of the satellite's
last pass over Tranquility.

- Oof.
- What?

That is an ugly habitat.

- Oh, my God.
- It's huge.

- Its footprint is ten times ours.
- So gaudy.

Okay, okay. What do you see there?

Well, lightweight construction materials.

And... why would they need a forklift?

Let's see a quarter-mile radius.

Wait, back. No, back.

What is that?

Drilling equipment.

H-3?

Postulated to be in great supply there.

What is H-3?

Helium-3.
It's fusion without the nuclear reactor.

It's an unlimited source of energy.

Extremely valuable
and easy to transport back to Earth.

One cargo hold full

could power the United States
for an entire year.

General Tsengjun
is not part of their space program,

but he knew all about
the temperature study.

How many of our generals know anything
about any of your studies,

- including myself?
- Zero.

- Zero.
- Fucking sons of bitches.

You can't hide a drilling station,
you fucks!

Okay.

General, Space Force One
is 50 miles from Tranquility.

If we are setting down,
we'll need to begin the approach.

Oh, God.

What's the next best option?

Take out your balls.

Okay. You know what?

- This is a very delicate situation.
- We have all these weapons.

- You need to relax.
- Why don't we use them?

- Sir!
- You have to remain calm, Adrian.

Enough with the carrots.
Let's use a stick.

- Every time you use the carrot.
- Sir.

- Never the stick.
- Excuse me.

You're a fuckin' general.

Use the stick.

Bug.

What's going on?

If you and Mom are just gonna disappear,

then there's no "us."

I'm completely on my own.

Why can't I count on
just one thing in life?

Honey, you can count on me.

Everyone counts on you.

And I'm always in the back of the line.

No. No. Erin, listen.

I have all of these scientists
and astronauts,

the whole Chinese government,
and they're all waiting for me,

right now, to make my next move.

But I don't care
because I'm here with you.

Right now.

You will always be
at the front of the line.

Yeah?

You bet.

What is... What are you doing?

Listen, hon. We'll talk about it later.
Yeah?

Forty seconds.

What?

I got 40 seconds with my father.

Oh, honey. Come on.

You really think that number's gonna go up
when you start fucking around?

Language, Erin.

Erin.

I miss my dad.

I should call him.

Or I guess I'll see him at dinner tonight.

Space Force One,

initiate landing sequence
into the Sea of Tranquility.

Our spacemen come first.

Manual altitude control is good.

Roger. Copy, Space Force One.
You are go for landing.

Roger. Understand.
Go for landing.

Three thousand feet.

Two thousand feet.
Into the AGS, 47 degrees.

Three hundred fifty feet.

I thought we were stopping
somewhere first.

- You're too tilted.
- I'm not.

Uh, you do seem tilted.

- You are ordered to be quiet.
- Yes, ma'am.

There's a nice,
flat spot right over there.

- Ordered to be quiet.
- Yes, sir.

Sixty feet.
Three and a half down, nine forward.

- Five percent.
- I'm getting out.

Don't get out!

Contact.

Engine stop.

Descent engine command override off.

Wild Horse, Space Force One has landed.

We are now Habitat One.

Habitat One
to begin stage one structure prep.

- Eddie, please begin unloading.
- Negative, Captain Ali.

- Sir?
- You just had a long flight.

Maybe you should stretch your legs.

Captain Ali,
I think that you should go for a walk.

Uh...

Outside? A moon walk, sir?

Yes.
See what the weather's like out there.

Need me to say it twice?

Okay.

It's good to be black on the moon.

Oh, goddamnit.

Uh...

Well, I guess we get to keep our jobs.

I fear I didn't keep it together.

Ah.

Did we really just do
what we really just did?

We really did.

♪ Fly ♪

♪ Fly me to the moon ♪

♪ And let me play among the stars ♪

♪ Let me see
Oh, I wanna see what spring is like ♪

♪ On Jupiter, on Jupiter and Mars ♪

♪ In other words, hold my hand ♪

If they were angry about something,
they should've just called me.