Southland (2009–2013): Season 4, Episode 3 - Community - full transcript

It's Hood Day on the streets of Los Angeles, and Captain Rucker has the department playing hall monitors. Sammy lets old grudges die hard when he leaves a gang territory unattended, only to have a violent gang war erupt throughout the city. Ben's recent mistake continues to haunt him publicly everywhere he goes. Ruben practices his speech for his daughter's quinceañera in the midst of a murder investigation. Cooper and Tang investigate a robbery in a strict Orthodox Jewish home, leading Tang to reveal parts of her past.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

♪ Southland 4x03 ♪
Community
original air date on January 31, 2012

== sync, corrected by elderman ==



Clear right.

Jesus Christ.

Where is he?
Where is he?!

The city of Los Angeles

is made up of over 100
separate and distinct

ethnic, racial,
and religious communities.

L.A. cops have to navigate
all of them



if they want to survive.

Mm. Mm.

Mm.

What are you doing?
Do you mind?

No one's gonna
believe me.

Oh, yeah? Okay.

Mm.

- Okay. All right, all right.
- Enough of that.

If you, um...

feel like, uh...

playing rough...

I'm into it.

Hmm.

You are that guy
from the video, right?



Do you have it
on here?

Bookmarked.

...Dancing.

- Sammy!
- Get your hands off of her! No!

Yeah! Oh! Oh!
Oh!

Get back. Get back.

Indistinct shouting ]

What are you doing?!

Down she goes.

Last time that girl
ever mouths off to a cop.

Very nice. Very nice.

Two sugars.
Splash of 2%. Enjoy.

Thanks for coming out.
Seriously. I mean it.

Good morning, asshole.

Hell, no!

Oh. Oh, hell, yeah.

Parking enforcement
on the warpath.

The fact that
they just happened to cite

every vehicle
owned by a Two-Trey,

skipped all the rest --
that part's a little weird.

But I don't know.

Hey, you need to fix this!
You hear me?

- I'm talking to you, bitch!
- Hey.

You ain't stupid, Bryant.

Why you refuse to accept
it's my hood?

Everything you see
is mine.

I doubt your neighbors
would agree.

Neighbors?

Neighbors are scenery.
They trees.

And your visiting rights
is being revoked.

I'm not going anywhere.

File enough complaints on
your ass, they got to move you.

Yeah, you want to know
the difference between me

and everybody else
in your shitty, little world?

I ain't afraid of you,
dawg.

Hey.

Nice eye.

Good shiner, huh?

Well, you were right
about that place.

Did a great job.
Thing was torn to shreds.

I didn't think
they could salvage it.

How you feeling?

I could go
another 12 rounds.

Yeah. I'm sore as hell.
That dude was strong.

Yeah, he was freak-strong.

Felt good.

Real good.

So, which "Ben bunny"
was it last night?

Come on, man.
I got a kid at home.

I'm living vicariously.
You're my --

you're my boots
on the ground.

Uh, the brunette.

Oh, man,
I got to get a sitter.

Yeah, and some new clothes,
a haircut,

and a garden-variety
divorcée makeover.

You and me in Castaic.
Me as your wingman.

It'll never be the same.

Have you given any more thought
to moving out there?

My realtor
is standing by.

Ooh, the hard sell.
You getting a cut?

Well, not --
not necessarily.

Parking tickets
for the entire block?

You have double-digit
complaints on you,

and you just keep
pouring gas on the fire.

It was a thing
of beauty.

Community policing means
putting up with these assholes

until we have a legitimate
reason to put them away,

not peppering them
with bullshit.

The bastard is robbing
from his own gang,

raping
their girlfriends.

Okay.
Droit du seigneur.

Medieval kings
used to have the right

to go at the bride
before the groom.

Crawford may be a shit bag,
but he's Southwest's shit bag.

Wait.
He's snitching?

Already come through
with a few actionable tips.

So, now he makes a few Southwest
detectives look good,

and the rest of
his neighborhood suffers?

I don't like it
any better than you,

but you need to stand down.

Yes, sir.

I'm counting on you
to keep him in check.

We've heard hood day
for the Two-Treys

will be at the old roller rink
on Central.

Now, I know hood day

is everyone's favorite way
to nab a felon or two.

All the rats meeting up
at the cheese.

Not today.

We're getting
too many complaints.

I'm posting a car
across the street --

Bryant, Sherman --
to keep it contained,

but we're going to
leave them be.

Weber Charter over on Normandie
got cleaned out last night.

Everything not bolted down
got taken --

computers, smart boards,
toilet paper.

Keep an ear out.

And last, every dumb shit
in this city has a camera,

and they all think
they're Spielberg.

Be sure the decisions
you make on the street

are ones you can live with
for the rest of your lives.

100,000 hits on YouTube.
Going viral, baby.

- Nice. Good job!
- Classic!

Let's go to work!

What's that?

Practicing
my speech for tonight.

Hey, you mind if I...
Try it out on you?

Shoot.

Welcome to Gabrielle's
quinceañera.

Angela and I cannot believe
that our baby is 15.

Tonight, she steps out
as a full-grown woman

in the community.

We are so proud.

Good.
Yeah?

But, um, you should,
you know, loosen up a little.

Put a little emotion
into it.

Emotion.
I'm so nervous.

You have no idea how important
this is to my wife's family.

They are
all about la raza.

Maria Marburo,
age 41.

- That's her in the weeds.
- Thank you.

Huh.
That's her chariot.

She was killed
somewhere else

and moved here
in that shopping cart.

Look at that.

"ABC."

"Always be closing."
It's the hustler's mantra.

Hmm. Look at the tan lines.
She wore a lot of bling.

Robbery.

Wasn't quick,
and it wasn't painless.

Whoever did this
had a lot of rage inside them.

Call about a burglary?

Yeah, yeah.
He's still here.

- He's still here?
- Where is he?

- Uh, he -- I -- upstairs, I think.
- There's just one?

Yeah,
it's just one guy.

Okay. Go ahead.

Stop, asshole!

You know,
my old partner --

he would have jumped.

Oh, shit.

Oh --
my dad.

What's going on?
Why are you here, officers?

We're responding
to a burglary call.

Uh, is this your home,
sir?

A burglary call?

Rebecca,
is this your doing?

Is what my doing?
We just got robbed, okay?

I was...
Standing in the kitchen

when this creep walked
right through the living room,

just grabbing everything
in sight --

Bubbie's candlesticks,
her menorah, our kiddush cups.

- I --
- Did you flag them down or call?

What if he had seen me?

I-I could have
been raped or killed.

Did you use the telephone
or not?

I -- y-yes. Yes!

I dialed 911.
A shanda.

How could you do this to us?
You have no respect.

I've taken her report, sir,

and, uh, you can call the
detectives in a couple of days.

Just put it down.

What are you
more upset about --

that somebody just stole
our family heirlooms

or that I broke the Sabbath
to call the police?

We had no control of
the crime that thief committed,

but your crime --

I'm not just gonna sit back
and be a victim just to honor

some allegorical dogma that
you choose to take literally.

Okay, he --
he walked right by you.

Did you get a chance
to see his face?

Yes. Yes.
I will never forget his face.

Okay. There's been a slew of
break-ins in this area, all right?

All occurring on Saturdays.

Someone's scoping out
and targeting Jewish families.

It would be
really helpful

if you could take
a few laps around with us.

Of course.

Rebecca, you're not going
anywhere with them.

I'm an adult.

I forbid it.

Oh, boy.

I think she's free to make up
her own mind, sir.

Pop the trunk.

Yeah. Good luck.

Still don't need
your diapers, Bryant.

Man, he's a cute one.

Still ain't buying
your bullshit.

Still won't turn on Day Day.
Still won't help you.

You know, it's a good thing
that he looks like you

and not Day Day.

I g-- I got a little one myself,
a little man.

Is that all the game
you got?

I can't imagine how it feels
for you looking at the baby,

but you love him, right?

You thank God for him
no matter how he was conceived.

What's that
supposed to mean?

You know what it means.

You're not his only baby mama
around here.

You're not the only one
that has a boyfriend

that let Crawford have a crack
whether you were willing or not.

You know,
I hate seeing you

in your lay-around gear
on hood day

'cause I-I've seen you
dressed up,

and you're a pretty girl.

I saw Anya, Jackleen,
and Tierra up the block,

hanging out, partying
before they head over.

Oh, shit.

He didn't even tell you,
did he?

Of course he did.
What you think?

Give me those.

Take care, little man.

Quinceañeras are going
out of style with people cel--

with most substituting
sweet 16's instead.

But our family
has honored our history.

And tonight,
we will be honoring

our ancestral
damas and chambelanes --

damas and chambelanes --

by continuing
this tradition.

It's starting
to pick up.

- Right?
- It's educational.

Looks like our victim's
done well for herself.

Yeah.

Hi.
I'm Detective Adams.

This is my partner,
Detective Robinson, L.A.P.D.

Do you work
for Mrs. Marburo?

Yes, for years.

I'm legally here.
I can show you my papers.

No, no, no, no, no.
No somos la migra.

I'm sorry, but Mrs. Marburo's
been killed.

Oh.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
It's okay.

Breathe.
Take a deep breath.

Let's get you to the seat.
Let's get you to the seat.

There you go.

Pater nuestro,
que estàs en El cielo,

santificado
sea tu nombre...

All of this space...
Just for one person.

He kill her.
Dios mío.

Who?
Dios mío.

Lot of people
was angry with her.

There was one guy
down the sidewalk at nights,

screaming, yelling
he was going to kill her.

Did she tell anybody
about this person?

Yes. You.

Check and see if she had

any restraining orders
out on anybody.

Okay.

You said a lot of people
were angry with her.

Do you know who?

Los vecinos.

That's the neighbors.

Know why?

She was so good to me.

Then why were they angry
with her?

W-w-what's this?

Rube.

There's another key.

Oh.

Hmm. Look at this.

"Credit consolidation
instruments."

If I had a year,

I still couldn't make sense
of any of this.

Hmm. Me, neither.

But it's still pretty clear --
the commissions.

Mm-hmm.

And see anything familiar
about her "clients"?

Meza, Cabrera,
Orsorio, Velasquez.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

She was taking advantage
of her own people.

- Exactly.
- Wicked.

This block's
been hit hard with break-ins.

Well,
it's black-hat central.

What do they call
them big black hats, anyway?

We call them
big black hats.

Really?

Okay, so I understand
the Sabbath

and not working
on the Sabbath, right?

I-I get that.

But how come
you can't use the phone?

Phones use electricity.

They can't use electricity
on the Sabbath.

Yeah, but people get around,
that, you know?

They just put their light
switches on timers and stuff.

It's a bunch
of hypocritical bullshit.

All right,
so, Jews are supposed to

spend the Sabbath
with their families together --

eating together,
talking,

praying together,
reflecting on their lives.

Sex.
They can have sex.

Dated a couple of Jews.

I don't know, Rebecca.
That --

It s-sounds pretty good.

Oh, my God.
That's him.

Shalom!

Thinking about running,
ain't you?

Huh?

Pretty fast.

And those Spider-Man moves?
You should run.

I mean, just because you shit
all over these families' sacred day

doesn't mean we're gonna arrest you with
any more force than necessary, does it?

Well, it's all in how
you define "necessary."

That's true.

But you'll probably get away.
Go on.

- Uh, I don't think so.
- Turn around, asshole.

Why don't you come out,
see if you recognize anything?

- Can I? - Sure.

H-how ridiculous is it
that I'm crying?

Is there anything else
in there?

Yeah. Everything.

Yeah? Why don't you go through
and pick it out?

And, um...Oh, God.

If I crossed
the street right now,

I could probably
take him down

for God knows
how many felonies.

But, no,
we got to sit here all day

while -- while he rubs it
in our faces.

Let me ask you something --
living in Castaic,

you ever feel like
you're out in the boonies?

Are you crazy?

It's like the center
of the universe.

I mean, we --
we got everything.

We got shooting ranges,
bike paths,

it's a stone's throw
from lake have-a-brew,

and it's straight-up
convenient, man.

I-I mean, it's -- it's --
it's easy to live out there.

Listen to this.

I got a Costco, a Walmart,
and a Kmart

all within a square mile.

Ray velasquez?

That's right.

We need to speak with you
about Maria Marburo.

You finally investigating
her loan fraud?

It's too late --
for me, anyways.

That "For Sale" sign?
You can blame her.

No, we're homicide detectives.
She was murdered.

We understand that you were
the lead plaintiff on a lawsuit

that you and your neighbors
filed against her.

Threw it out of court.

I tried everything I could,

but she got away with it,
anyway.

Until now, I guess.

Mr. Velasquez,
where were you last night?

Right here.
Packing for the movers.

I got to put all this stuff
in a one-bedroom place.

You know, I was born
on home plate.

Dodger Stadium?

Chavez Ravine.

I lived there
till May 9, 1959,

when they bulldozed
my neighborhood

to make room
for Dodger Stadium.

Stole our homes
with a piece of paper.

Now Maria's trying to do
the same thing here.

Said I could lighten my load
with a debt-consolidation plan.

She spoke Spanish,
came from the neighborhood.

She was one of us.

Didn't read
the fine print.

Now I don't own my home
no more.

Is this your son Danny?

Handsome boy, huh?

He don't really look that way
no more.

Are you aware
that Miss Marburo

took out a restraining order
on him?

You don't understand
what she took from us.

We need to speak
with Danny.

He's on the street now.
Tent city.

Downtown L.A.
City of the Angels.

Only time I ever see him
is once a week

when he comes home
for his assistance.

Where's he gonna
come home to now?

Huh, Detective?

Hey, guys.

Oh. Drea showed up.

Here we go.

Looks like
you got spotted.

Hello, ladies.

You the one like
to smack girls around.

Young little things.

Pick on someone
your own size.

'Cause I'll knock
your bitch ass out.

Ooh. Whoa.

All right.
Come on, girl.

Hip-hop music plays ]

We got company.

Why don't you come in, Bryant,
get your drink on, huh?

Shit, maybe
I can dig up a ho

sloppy enough
to get with you.

Maybe Drea
will get with you

since you done gave her
them diapers.

That the Six-Four Hustlers
rolling up on you?

Can't be fun having bigger,
badder enemies, huh, Day Day?

What y'all even doing
out here, anyway?

Didn't they tell you
back up off my shit?

Somebody robbed a charter school
last night.

Now, you wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?

Crying shame.

Yeah.

You know, I want to know
what kind of man

robs his own
neighborhood's school.

You want everybody around here
as ignorant as your ass?

You know what?
Time for you to go, dawg.

But you have a nice day.

Don't you mean,
"have a nice day day?"

Keep your pimp hand clean,
boy.

Any available unit,
unknown trouble.

Stranded motorist in the
200 block of South 3rd Avenue.

You know what? That sounds
pretty serious. I'm buying it.

A36. Show us responding.

What are you doing?
Rucker told us not to move.

Ah, t-they d-- they don't
need us here, you know?

If we leave,
there's no presence at all.

That's the point,
Officer Sherman.

Get in.

Good luck, asshole!

Where you want to eat?

Third Saturday of the month?
I got nothing.

You like dim sum?

- I know a place.
- Bar's pretty high.

- Officers!
- I was assaulted!

I know who did it.
Okay. All right.

- Get on the sidewalk.
- I know his name. I know his address.

Okay.
Get on the sidewalk.

I know who did it.

- You got anything on you?
- No.

Sir, you said
you know who did it?

I know his name.
I know where he lives.

Okay. Okay.
Can you please remove your hood?

Can you please
take off your hood, sir?

Okay.

All right.
Take us to him.

This guy.

Hello?

Oh, thank God.

How you doing?

We -- we were looking
for 3rd Street,

and Mapquest took us
to 3rd Avenue.

And then we couldn't get
a signal,

and that guy starts
circling us like a shark.

What are you doing,
man?

Just waiting
for some samples.

Put that shit out with some
stoli, and you're on your way.

You know what I mean?
Not today. Get lost.

- Take a hike.
- What are you waiting for?

A36. Show a Code 4 on 3rd Avenue.
Go. Punk.

There's no crime here.

Hey, we got to get back, man.
We got to go babysit hood day.

You heard Crawford.
He doesn't need us.

The Six-Fours come back,
it's going off. You know it.

You guys want tacos?

Yeah?

Hey, you --
you recognize my partner?

He's famous.

Ben Sherman from, uh,
YouTube a-and the news.

Right on.

If you just go up, uh --

just take a right on --
on Temple.

Take a right here.

It's the next -- it's the next
street on your right.

- It's 431.
- All right. 431.

On the left.
This is where we live.

Who's "we"?
Me and my housemates.

Other people like me
who have been run off

from everywhere
we've tried to stay.

Those things on your head true?
You know what?

I've paid my debt to society, so
all I ask is to be left alone.

You might
want to relocate.

Relocate w-where?
Where were you think--

I mean, we can't live
2,000 feet from a school,

300 feet from
a child-safety zone,

500 feet from a public park.

I mean, n-Napoleon, they had
the decency to exile to Elba.

For us, there's nowhere.

That's --
that's him right th--

in the ponytail. That's him
up there on the fence.

Okay, sir. Sir,
just stay behind me, okay?
Sir!

I'm just telling you that he's there.
All right. All right.

Just stay -- calm down,
and stay behind me.

What's your name?
Bob Harp.

Mr. Harp...

This guy says you took
a permanent marker to his head.

I won't let our neighborhood
be destroyed

by subhuman sexual vermin,
if that's what you mean.

I was born again
for this purpose.

Okay, well,
it's not very Christian

to be tormenting
fellow citizens, huh?

That's no citizen.
He's a monster.

Stick him
in the middle of Hancock Park.

See how the mayor likes it.

He's a time bomb. We see
him around the playground.

On the way to the store.
That --

Then, you go another way!
Get out of here!

All right. Okay.
You guys, take it easy.

You got a problem with him,
you think he's breaking the law,

you call
his parole officer.

Otherwise,
you keep your hands off.

You got it?

Yeah.

That's it?
It's just a warning?

I mean, what about this?
What do I -- I -- what?

You might
want to get a hat.

Mmm, good.

Rucker told us we got to get back
to hood day. We got to get back.

This is the best taco
in Los Angeles, don't you think?

Unknown trouble.

Football field,
109th Street Park.

A36.
Show us responding.

What are you doing?
We're gonna answer that?

Milton Lee Aiken.

Doesn't ring a bell, does it?
Why would it?

Community was too afraid
to come forward and report it.

You see,
Milton was a 13-year-old.

He was a student.
He was a choirboy.

And he lived
on Crawford's block.

Crawford wanted him to bang.
The kid refused.

So, one day, Crawford
pulled him into an alley

on his way to church,

sodomized him
with a garden hose,

packed him
full of peanut butter,

sent him
on his way again.

Now, it turns out

the kid's second or third
cousin -- whatever --

he's down
with the Six-Four.

If today is payback day,
I'm not getting in the way.

Neither are you.

Let's go. Come on.

More tea?

I'd have carved it
in his head.

Used my knife instead
of a sharpie, taken my time.

Yeah? Is that what you think
should be done with them?

Executed or locked away
in some dungeon?

Well, unless you have

a crueler, more unusual
punishment I've overlooked.

What about rehabilitation
or -- I don't know --

you know, monitored release
into society?

Oh, why not let them teach the
first grade while we're at it?

No amount of mood stabilizers,
no group therapy,

no finding God

is gonna rewire what's wrong
with them, all right?

- At the very least --
- Can I steal...

At the very least,
these guys should be castrated

the day the guilty verdict is read.
Oh.

And I am not talking
chemically castrated.

Chop, chop, problem solved?
Absolutely.

What about that guy
convicted of flashing --

first time, only time?

Lost his head, got drunk.
No?

No. I'm not talking about that.
You know I'm not.

You know, there's got to be some
innocent people serving time.

You can't really tell me
you're defending this.

Me? God, no. I'd be the first
in line with a butcher's knife.

Will you pass
those turnip cakes?

It would blow your mind
how many D-1 and NFL studs

played on this field.

We left hood day
for this shit?

Stakes are pretty high.

You're kidding, right?
No.

You think
you Bobby Bowden?!

Running
every goddamn down,

maybe sprinkle in a shuttle pass
now and then?!

You got to spread
the field!

All the scouts up in here
on Saturday,

and you don't throw
to my boy once?!

Your boy got no feel
for the game!

You got to calm down.

- Whoa. Gun. Gun! Gun!
- Hey! Hey!

Whoa!

How's your feel
for the game now?!

- Jesus, lady.
- It's just a game.

- No, sir. This is life and death.
- Any available unit.

Shots fired, multiple victims
down, Central Avenue.

Central?

3-4 defense against those
big Agoura white boys.

Hey, shut up! Shut up!

A36.
Please repeat the last.

Adam-36,
it's 11,000 block of Central.

A36. Copy.
Show us responding.

Where
the hell were you people?!

Where the hell were you?!

What's going on?

Get him over here.

Piece of shit
sucker-punched me.

Told me -- he told me
I looked at him wrong.

He only made it half a block
thanks to these guys.

You need
medical attention?

No. But I --
but I want a free hit.

You want to hit him back?

I would like to, sir.

No cameras.
All free and clear.

I-I can live with that.
I think I can, too.

But I didn't
even do anything.

Hey. Nobody asked
for your version of events.

All right? Hands behind
your back, your chin in the air.

What'll it be?

Take your best shot,
bitch.

You want to lead with your
shoulder, you want to pivot,

and then you want your arm
to follow last, okay?

Thanks, officer.
I-I can handle this.

All right. Hang on a second.
Here's the rules.

You flinch,
you go to jail.

You duck, you go to jail.
You got that?

You ready?
I'm ready.

All right.
On three. One...

- Ooh. Nice one.
- ...Two, three.

Nice punch.

- Thank you, officer.
- Have a good day, sir.

Ma'am. Appreciate it.
Feel better?

Much better.
Sure.

- Thanks, guys.
- Appreciate it.

Who's the bitch now?
Have a nice day.

Not the guy.

What a setup here.

Oh. Bingo. Lydia.

Lydia.

Good morning.

He's looking
pretty loaded.

Danny Velasquez?

Maybe.

Yeah, we need to talk to you
about Maria Marburo.

Who?

All right, come on.

Let's get you out of here.

Can you stand up?

Yeah. Okay.

There we go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy.

So, a picture came across
our pawn desk.

It's of you trying to sell
Maria Marburo's jewelry.

You remember that?

Oh.

Man.

Oh, God.

Oh, please stop.

It's terrible.

What was I supposed to do?

Just sit around,

watch my father's heart
break again?

Watch him get tossed
into the street?

That lady took the shirt
off my father's back.

All right?

I took the shirt off hers.

- Step away from the fence.

You got him?

You sure
this is the place?

Yeah,
Drea said this is the place.

Right here.

Right here.

Oh, shit.

I got black!
You got Crawford!

Get up.
Give me your hands.

You mother
your hands!

Come on. Let go, man.

Get off me!

- Aah.
- Shit. Aah!

Get --

shit.

Aah! Shit!
Stay right here, dawg. Stay right here.

Hey, yo! Help me out!

Someone come let me loose!

Get the out here, man!

Look, if somebody don't come
out here and free me up,

I'll take it out
on all you mother

Partner?!

- Lost him.

You lose Crawford?
No.

Where is he?

Jesus.

How much manpower you think
they'll use up on this?

Detectives burning
the midnight oil,

searching
for the killers?

What a waste.

Anyone deserved to be tied
to the whipping post,

it's Crawford.

You two follow policy?

Absolutely.
Absolutely.

Looks like we found
the charter school.

Not every day a murder scene
turns into a block party.

No true crime today.

So, you want to run
through that speech again?

Uh...

Nah. No. I won't put you
through that again.

Cannot believe my girl
is turning 15.

Gaby's birth was rough, too.

23 hours. Yeah.

By the time
Angie delivered her,

she was out like a light.

Only thing I did know, though,
was I loved my baby

more than anything
I could ever imagine.

Finally, right before dawn,
she moved.

I almost forgot I was holding
a living, breathing person.

She started fidgeting
and trying to get comfortable,

and finally...

She opened up her eyes,
looked right at me.

She still looks at me
like that.

I kissed her, and I said,

"your mommy and your daddy
will always love you.

It's my duty
to protect you."

15 years ago...

Tonight.

That's your speech
right there, Ruben.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thanks again for the ride,
partner.

You got it.

Hey.

It's me.

Can I come over?

I'll be there shortly.

Oh, look at this.
Look at this.

You ask.
He gives you what you want.

- Okay, okay.
- Hold on. Hold on.

Everybody, hold on.

Quiet down, everybody!
Listen up!

All right. Now, listen up.

The ballots are in,
the votes have been cast,

and I'm proud to announce
that we have a new winner

of the D.C.A.

Whoo!

Listen up. Listen up.
Listen up.

The "Dumbest cop alive"
is awarded to that copper

who displays, uh, stupidity

above and beyond
the call of duty.

And the winner is...

My partner,
Officer Ben Sherman!

Thank you!

[ Crowd chanting "asshole!"
Come on up here, Einstein,

and be recognized
for your award

of punching a female teenager
on camera!

Give me that hat.
Give me that hat.

All right.

Hey!

Looks good!

Hey,
I just want to say, uh,

to be honored as the dumbest cop
in a roomful of dumb cops --

it feels pretty good,
so thank you very much.

Thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Any available unit,

respond to back up the fire
department at 431 Westlake.

Multiple victims.

A57.
Show us responding.

57, Roger.

That's the same street
that child molester lives on.

Yep.
And the lynch mob.

Where is he?
Where is he?!

Right here.

It was me.
I set the fire.

No. I did it.

No. I'm the one.

Come on!

This is on us.

No.

It was gonna always
end this way.

A57. Show us Code 6,
431 Westlake.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==