South Park (1997–…): Season 21, Episode 4 - Franchise Prequel - full transcript
Professor Chaos begins spreading lies about Coon and Friends on Facebook.
♪♪
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪♪
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
♪♪
*SOUTH PARK*
Season 21 Episode 04
What on Earth
was that?!
My name is Jimmy Valmer.
And I am very f-f-fast.
When I was born, my parents
knew I was different.
I'm sorry,
Mr. and Mrs. Valmer.
Your newborn son will never
be able to walk.
But he will be
extremely good at comedy.
Wow! What
a t-t-terrific audience.
As I got older,
my powers only increased.
What do you call cheese
that isn't yours?
Help!
Nacho Cheese.
And now I look
for others like me
to fight crime
as part of a superhero team.
I am...
Fa-Fa-Fastpass.
Okay, okay,
thank you, Fastpass.
I like it.
What do you guys think?
We definitely
don't have anyone
with super-human speed
in our franchise.
Fastpass, what makes you
feel qualified
to be part of
our cinematic universe?
Well, besides
being super f-f-fast,
I also have
a good attitude
and flexibility with my schedule
on weekends.
Fastpass,
welcome to Coon and Friends.
You are about to make
a shit load of money.
Episode Title: "Franchise Prequel"
All right, superheroes,
it's time to layout
our plan of action.
As you can see, I have divided
the franchise plan
into three phases.
Phase one begins with
"The Coon" Netflix series
and goes through
the "Coon and Friends United,"
movie where we introduce
Tool Shed and the Human Kite.
In phase two,
we do "Coon vs. Fastpass,"
followed by an origin movie
about Mosquito.
Bzzzzzt! Oh, boy!
I get my own origin movie?!
- Bzzztzt!
- That's right.
It's in Phase two
that we will finally introduce
Tupperware,
our black superhero,
like an ace in the hole.
Whoa, whoa. Wait. How come we gotta
start off with a Netflix series?
Can't we just go
right into movies?
Netflix is starving for
new shows right now, Toolshed.
They will literally buy anything
people pitch them.
We need to strike
while the iron is hot.
Later, in phase three, we can
finally get to Civil War,
where we will all...
What is it?!
Incoming Facetime call
from SuperCraig!
On screen!
You guys,
we have a big problem.
What is it, SuperCraig?
Somebody is messing
with our Facebook page.
They're spreading
all these lies
and saying we like,
burn the American flag
and pee in each other's mouths.
Spreading lies how?
Take a look.
Someone is systematically
targeting
our Facebook followers
and feeding them
misinformation.
Who would deliberately
use Facebook
in such
a horribly reckless way?
Butters, you're not looking
at boobies again, are you?
No, Dad,
I'm not looking at boobies.
Butters.
Oh, hey, fellas!
Butters,
are you using Facebook
to with
our superhero franchise?
Umm...
Nope.
Butters.
Butters!
Yes, fellas?
Dude, listen, we don't
have time for this.
Right now,
Netflix is buying
any show
that people pitch them.
We have a real shot
at starting our franchise,
and you are a part
of that franchise plan, okay?
We have movies planned
for the bad guy!
You mean
like "Suicide Squad"?
Yes!
"Suicide Squad"
sucked.
Butters!
Butters, you can't just
make stuff up about us.
People are thinking
it's true.
Look, fellas, you have a right
to be on Facebook,
and I have a right
to be on Facebook.
And sometimes, that's going
to cause a little...
chaos.
Gotta get to class.
Dude.
What a dick!
If we don't find
a way to stop him,
we're never going to make
any money, you guys.
♪♪
Thanks for coming,
everyone.
I know you are all concerned
as Sarah and I are
about what's happening
to our children.
I just can't believe
that children in our town
are dressing up
in hero costumes
and... peeing
in each other's mouths.
And who are these kids?
Does anyone know?
They're wearing capes
and forcing objects into
their own rectal cavities.
Why?
We were shocked to read that
a young African-American boy
is wearing Tupperware
and defecating on girls
while they sleep.
What if those kids are
hanging out with our kids?
You know what I think
the problem is?
Facebook.
Facebook?
How so?
Well, look,
we all know there's
a lot of mixing
of truth and fiction
that's been
on Facebook lately.
And children lack
the cognitive ability
to determine what's true
and what isn't on Facebook.
That's why we now have
young kids
dressing up in costumes,
eating poop,
and having sex
with antelopes in our town.
Maybe we need to get our kids
off of Facebook.
That'll never happen.
You know what I say we do?
Let's invite Mark Zuckerberg
to come and talk to us all
about our concerns
in this community.
Do you really think
he'd come?
Why not give it a try?
Let's invite
Mark Zuckerberg here
and see
what he has to say.
I'm sure he's
a reasonable person.
Who are you?!
What do you want?!
I'm here about the job?
Oh, are you Adam?
Well, come on in!
You're making
a smart career choice, Adam.
You see, what we do here
is utilize Facebook
not only to spread chaos
but to actually profit from it.
You'll find the hours
very reasonable,
and I'm working on getting
full health and dental
for all employees.
Here's your
company uniform.
You see,
what I've done, Adam,
is built a completely
self-sustaining chaos machine...
You look fantastic...
Doing nothing more than what
Facebook was designed to do.
I make money from Facebook
for my fake content
in order to pay Facebook
to promote my fake stories.
And thusly,
we're growing bigger every day.
Everyone, can I have
your attention please?
We have
a new agent of chaos.
Please welcome
Adam Borque.
Here you go. You can
take this workstation, Adam.
Just start writing
horrible things about people
and presenting it as reality
on Facebook.
All right! Don't forget
we have a chaos quota, gang!
Let's really
shit up.
All right. Can
everyone hear me in the back?
M'kay We're gonna
get started here.
I know you all
have a lot of questions,
so without further ado,
let me introduce
Mark Zuckerberg.
Thanks for coming,
Mr. Zuckerberg.
Thank you.
It is a great honor
to be here
amongst all of you.
For those few
who don't know,
could you tell us
who you are?
I am the founder and chairman
of FACEBOOK.
But I also have a style that is
completely unblockable.
Okay,
we'll let him speak,
and then we'll open the floor
to some questions
if there's time.
Thank you.
Thank you, right.
All right. Everyone here
wants to see my style.
But first what I'll need
is a volunteer.
Yes, you sir?
Mr. Zuckerberg, Facebook
has become a tool
for some to disrupt our country
and our community...
You say these things
like they are my fault,
and yet they are not.
Well, you did
create a platform
with a monetary incentive
for people
to spread misinformation.
Now I see you're trying
to use your style over mine.
Now, you try
to block me.
Brzzz! Byeow!
Now you have learned
that you cannot block me.
- Yes?
- Yes. What is your question?
How are we supposed
- to keep our kids...
- Ba-ba-ba-baaa! Ztzztzzzt!
Shwa! Ahh!
Pos-brb!
Wilson Aubrey?
Yeah.
It's us, your heroes,
Coon and Friends.
We're, uh...
just wondering
why you stopped following us
on Instagram.
Because you victimize
innocent people
and poop in
little girls' mouths.
That's not true,
Wilson.
We're Coon and Friends,
not Harvey Weinstein.
Facebook says it's true.
But it's not true.
But Facebook
says it's true.
Okay, but it's not true,
and you need to have
your own brain
and decide shit
for yourself!
God damn it!
Let's just face it.
We're never gonna have
a superhero franchise!
It's so unfair!
Come on, fellas.
We can't let Butters win.
Forget it, Fastpass.
The world hates us now.
Yeah, nobody
believes in us.
We believe in each other,
don't we?
Who cares what
everyone else thinks?
I joined this franchise
because I believe
that it can make
a lot of money.
And being a superhero means
you keep believing in that money
no matter how hard
things get.
Fastpass is right.
We've let all this distract us
from what's important.
We just need to get
the Netflix series
and let our superhero franchise
speak for itself.
Coon, everybody hates us.
Maybe so, but we
know who we are.
We are Coon Friends because
we care about each other,
because we have
each other's backs.
And when things
look their darkest,
these heroes
will stand together and re...
Hey, babe,
what's up?
What are you up to?
Nothing. Just
wearing sweet costumes,
talking about fighting evil.
Is that okay?
I just... I thought we were
meeting at the park.
You didn't
text or anything.
Oh, my God. Are you
kidding me right now?
Sorry!
I won't interrupt.
Because we are
Coon and Friends,
and as long as
we have each other,
we can do anything!
I swear that was the worst
public speaker I've ever seen.
What was
Mark Zuckerberg's point?
I don't even understand
what that was about.
Guess nobody realized
Mark Zuckerberg
was such a penis.
What the hell?!
It's Mark Zuckerberg.
I know who it is!
Excuse me,
what are you doing here?
I was invited here
by people.
We invited you
to come speak
to our community
about our problems!
Ah! I see what you did there.
Trying to block me, right?
I am tired of eating chips.
What else is there?
Hey!
Get out of our fridge.
This puny
refrigerator could not block me.
What makes you think
you can?
Now, you listen here!
I will not...
Bzzt!
Oh! Jrmm!
Pyow! Wha!
You are no match
for my style.
So, where are we headed?
Perhaps we should get some food.
What... Excuse me,
this is our car.
You call this a car?
It wasn't even remotely able
to block me.
What is this car's style?
Get... Get out of here,
you... you penis!
You say I am a penis,
and yet I am not a penis.
Netflix. You're green lit.
Who am I speaking with?
Uh, yes, hello, we have
an idea for a show
that we think would be great
for Netflix.
Okay, great.
Would you like a pilot
or just go straight to
an order of six episodes?
We'd like to go
right into six episodes
with a pickup option
at the end of three.
Got it. Can you start shooting
next month?
Got a show about
transsexual dragons here!
Yes, we're ready to start
right now.
We are very, very excited.
Okay, sounds great.
We'll send you the contracts.
Oh, and, uh,
what's the show about?
It's a stand-alone series
about a superhero
called The Coon
before he joins
Coon and Friends.
Coon and Friends?
You mean the kids
I just read about in the news
who stabbed Jessica Alba?
Look, you didn't... you didn't
read that on the news.
You read that on Facebook.
Aw, man, here we go.
Yeah uh, digit,
we've never done this before,
but I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to pass on your show.
Listen to me!
There are falsehoods about us
on Facebook that are not true!
Well, then you should
have those things taken down.
It can't be that hard.
It's a lot harder
than you think!
Look, we'd love
to approve your show,
but you need to get those things
cleared up first, okay?
Thanks for calling.
Netflix. You're green lit.
Who am I speaking with?
What the...
Who are you?
I believe
that's Mark Zuckerberg.
Hey, that's my soup!
So, you are trying
to block me, huh?
That's fine.
What's your style?
I don't have a style!
Hey!
Get out of my bed!
I was invited here.
I am only making use of a bed
for sleeping, yes?
We just wanted you
to come
share your insights
on Facebook!
Shnn!
Oh, my head! My head!
Shaaa!
You should have worked with me
when you had the chance.
Now you lie
over there, dead.
Attention,
employees.
Kelly Shmidt has just written
her 100th fake blog post
that was shared over 1,000 times
on Facebook.
Let's hear it for Kelly!
Don't forget about
those Chaos incentives!
You too can benefit
from pandemonium.
Butters!
Oh, no!
It's Coon and Friends!
Ahh!
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Calm down, everyone.
Stick to your work.
I will deal
with these trespassers.
We're here
to put an end to you, Chaos!
Yeah! I don't have
butt sex with antelopes,
and Token doesn't poop
in girls' mouths!
It's the 21st century,
gentlemen.
There's nothing illegal
about what I'm doing.
Yeah? Nothing illegal about us
kicking your a-a-ass either.
Actually that is illegal.
And besides, you can't do
anything to me.
Hyah! Syo-yo-yo!
Wah! So, this is
the Coon and Friends
that you have
told me about.
I warn you, my fighting style
is unsurpassed.
Who the S-S-S-Sam Hell
is that?
I think
that's Mark Zuckerberg.
You wanna get
to Butters, right?
You're gonna have
to get through me, huh!
Dude. This kid
is deliberately lying about us
on your platform
for no other reason
than to cause harm.
Why are you
protecting him?
Simple.
He paid me $17.23.
It's the Facebook
safeguard program.
Just $17 monthly
gets you
personal protection
from Mark Zuckerberg.
Come on!
What's your style?
All right. All right.
Everyone calm down.
I can't hear over all you!
You have
to do something!
This guy is going around
acting like everyone's stuff
is his!
I'm sick of getting
out of the shower
to find Mark Zuckerberg
sitting on my toilet!
Zuckerberg ate everything
in our freezer
and then helped himself
to my wife's lubricant!
All right. All right.
Everyone!
I just want
to know one thing.
Who invited him here?
Come on. Who invited
Mark Zuckerberg to town
in the first place?
- We did.
- We did.
Huh? What's that?
We invited Mark Zuckerberg
to town.
Uh-huh.
That's what I thought.
You all brought Mark Zuckerberg
into your lives
and now you want the police
to shoot him.
Please,
you don't understand.
He's...
He's such a penis.
Yeah, and I'm pretty sure his
voice is dubbed
and he does all
his own sound effects...
Well, that doesn't mean
he's done anything illegal.
Now, the police will help deal
with Mark Zuckerberg, but...
we aren't going to shoot him.
I'm sorry,
that's just the way it is.
You all should have thought
harder about this
before letting him
into your lives.
When we all became superheroes,
we took an oath.
That no matter what it took we
would make shit loads of money.
But thanks to Mark Zuckerberg,
right now...
we are a superhero group
that can't even get a show
on Netflix.
Zuckerberg is the key.
He's the only person
who can shut down Facebook.
How are we going to get him
to do that?
We're gonna beat him
at his own game.
We got the west entrance
to town secure.
How you guys doing
out east?
Here he comes.
Okay, Mr. Zuckerberg.
That's gonna have to be it.
Can't let you into town.
So, you think
you can block me?
Look, people
don't want you here okay?
This is a quiet little town
and...
You cannot block me.
There's plenty of other places
you can go, sir.
Can you please just...
Don't...
Don't do that please...
My brain! My brain!
Aah!
He walked through.
Aah! My my car! My car!
Oh, my God!
It's Mark Zuckerberg!
Oh, my God!
How'd he do that?!
What's the matter?
Too f-f-fast for you?
You saw me walk right
through that police barricade,
and yet you think
you can block me, right?
Go ahead and try.
Now Zuckerberg! Let's see you
block my shtoile!
Pew! Pew! Pew!
Wha, da, da, da, da.
Bam!
Oh!
Ow!
I have never witnessed
this style before!
Hey, look!
The freaky costume kids
are getting Zuckerberg!
Get him, kids!
Poop in his mouth!
Aah!
You tried to match my style
and failed!
Oh! It is over!
My friends are all beaten!
Why?!
They were just children.
This one simply protesting
for black lives.
And this child trying to speak
out for handicapped people!
W-Why, Mark Zuckerberg?
And my friend Kyle,
guilty of nothing but standing
up for the rights of Jews.
Wh-wha-what
are you talking about?
Ever heard
of Facebook Live?
We are just kids trying to have
our voices heard for
black, handicapped
and Jewish rights.
Cut down in our prime
by Mark Zuckerberg.
But... but hold on.
That... that's not true!
Facebook says it's true.
Nooo!
Huh? -What? -Hey!
- What?
- What's going on?!
Everyone keep working!
- We can't.
- Something's wrong
with Facebook.
It's gone. Like...
somebody shut it down.
What are you talking about?!
It's over, Chaos!
We've forced your little toady
to shut down
his own disorder device.
Curse you, Coon and Friends!
This isn't over!
Oh, yes, it is.
Butters! You're the one
who started all this?!
Uh-oh.
♪♪
You think
you're just so smart don't you?
- No, sir! No, sir, I just...
- Make me look like a fool will you?!
We'll just see about this!
Not so funny now is it?!
Go on!
Tell Mr. Putin what you told me!
Well, I was just...
Well, I just said how I just
used Facebook like Russia did
and really didn't break
any rules...
Didn't break any rules!
Good job teaching our children
that's all that matters!
Just because there's a way to
cause chaos in a town
or disrupt an entire country
doesn't mean you go and do it,
does it?
If Mark Zuckerberg
points a loaded cannon
at someone's face,
are you innocent
for just lighting the fuse?!
Answer me.
No! You don't go around making
up things about people either,
unless it's about
Mark Zuckerberg
'cause he deserves it.
I hope you're both
very satisfied
with the damage you've caused,
because you're both grounded!
Coon Friends, we have done it.
Facebook is gone and Netflix
has approved our TV show.
All we have to do now
is agree on the final draft
of the Franchise Plan.
You can see that the
SuperCraig movie now precedes
the Coon VS SuperCraig movie
followed by Mysterion's
video game and then...
How come I have to have
the video game?
I wanna movie too.
You have a movie, Mysterion.
You're in the third
Coon and Friends United movie
after your video game.
Yeah, but he's saying he doesn't
ever get his own movie.
Do I get my own movie? Not
everyone gets their own movie.
- This franchise plan sucks.
- Oh, Jesus, here we go again.
No,
Wonder Tweek is right.
It was better when we started
the movies off
with the Tupperware prequel. Dude,
you can't do a prequel first.
- Why not?
- 'Cause then it's not a prequel,
it's just first.
And besides Tupperware
isn't our strongest character.
you.
It's better than a human kite.
He just likes this plan because
he gets two movies in phase one.
Guys! We have to just
go with this plan.
We don't even have
one movie yet!
You go with the plan.
Maybe we'll just
go and do our own franchise.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Oh, you want civil war?!
Is that what you want?!
- Yeah, dude. It's civil war.
- you.
Oh you.
Get outta my house.
We'll make way more money
on our franchise!
Go ahead. I bet you don't even
get halfway through phase one
on your franchise,
DC Comics.
I thought Civil War wasn't
supposed to happen
- until phase three.
- Shut up, SuperCraig.
♪♪
Synchronized by srjanapala
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪♪
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
♪♪
*SOUTH PARK*
Season 21 Episode 04
What on Earth
was that?!
My name is Jimmy Valmer.
And I am very f-f-fast.
When I was born, my parents
knew I was different.
I'm sorry,
Mr. and Mrs. Valmer.
Your newborn son will never
be able to walk.
But he will be
extremely good at comedy.
Wow! What
a t-t-terrific audience.
As I got older,
my powers only increased.
What do you call cheese
that isn't yours?
Help!
Nacho Cheese.
And now I look
for others like me
to fight crime
as part of a superhero team.
I am...
Fa-Fa-Fastpass.
Okay, okay,
thank you, Fastpass.
I like it.
What do you guys think?
We definitely
don't have anyone
with super-human speed
in our franchise.
Fastpass, what makes you
feel qualified
to be part of
our cinematic universe?
Well, besides
being super f-f-fast,
I also have
a good attitude
and flexibility with my schedule
on weekends.
Fastpass,
welcome to Coon and Friends.
You are about to make
a shit load of money.
Episode Title: "Franchise Prequel"
All right, superheroes,
it's time to layout
our plan of action.
As you can see, I have divided
the franchise plan
into three phases.
Phase one begins with
"The Coon" Netflix series
and goes through
the "Coon and Friends United,"
movie where we introduce
Tool Shed and the Human Kite.
In phase two,
we do "Coon vs. Fastpass,"
followed by an origin movie
about Mosquito.
Bzzzzzt! Oh, boy!
I get my own origin movie?!
- Bzzztzt!
- That's right.
It's in Phase two
that we will finally introduce
Tupperware,
our black superhero,
like an ace in the hole.
Whoa, whoa. Wait. How come we gotta
start off with a Netflix series?
Can't we just go
right into movies?
Netflix is starving for
new shows right now, Toolshed.
They will literally buy anything
people pitch them.
We need to strike
while the iron is hot.
Later, in phase three, we can
finally get to Civil War,
where we will all...
What is it?!
Incoming Facetime call
from SuperCraig!
On screen!
You guys,
we have a big problem.
What is it, SuperCraig?
Somebody is messing
with our Facebook page.
They're spreading
all these lies
and saying we like,
burn the American flag
and pee in each other's mouths.
Spreading lies how?
Take a look.
Someone is systematically
targeting
our Facebook followers
and feeding them
misinformation.
Who would deliberately
use Facebook
in such
a horribly reckless way?
Butters, you're not looking
at boobies again, are you?
No, Dad,
I'm not looking at boobies.
Butters.
Oh, hey, fellas!
Butters,
are you using Facebook
to with
our superhero franchise?
Umm...
Nope.
Butters.
Butters!
Yes, fellas?
Dude, listen, we don't
have time for this.
Right now,
Netflix is buying
any show
that people pitch them.
We have a real shot
at starting our franchise,
and you are a part
of that franchise plan, okay?
We have movies planned
for the bad guy!
You mean
like "Suicide Squad"?
Yes!
"Suicide Squad"
sucked.
Butters!
Butters, you can't just
make stuff up about us.
People are thinking
it's true.
Look, fellas, you have a right
to be on Facebook,
and I have a right
to be on Facebook.
And sometimes, that's going
to cause a little...
chaos.
Gotta get to class.
Dude.
What a dick!
If we don't find
a way to stop him,
we're never going to make
any money, you guys.
♪♪
Thanks for coming,
everyone.
I know you are all concerned
as Sarah and I are
about what's happening
to our children.
I just can't believe
that children in our town
are dressing up
in hero costumes
and... peeing
in each other's mouths.
And who are these kids?
Does anyone know?
They're wearing capes
and forcing objects into
their own rectal cavities.
Why?
We were shocked to read that
a young African-American boy
is wearing Tupperware
and defecating on girls
while they sleep.
What if those kids are
hanging out with our kids?
You know what I think
the problem is?
Facebook.
Facebook?
How so?
Well, look,
we all know there's
a lot of mixing
of truth and fiction
that's been
on Facebook lately.
And children lack
the cognitive ability
to determine what's true
and what isn't on Facebook.
That's why we now have
young kids
dressing up in costumes,
eating poop,
and having sex
with antelopes in our town.
Maybe we need to get our kids
off of Facebook.
That'll never happen.
You know what I say we do?
Let's invite Mark Zuckerberg
to come and talk to us all
about our concerns
in this community.
Do you really think
he'd come?
Why not give it a try?
Let's invite
Mark Zuckerberg here
and see
what he has to say.
I'm sure he's
a reasonable person.
Who are you?!
What do you want?!
I'm here about the job?
Oh, are you Adam?
Well, come on in!
You're making
a smart career choice, Adam.
You see, what we do here
is utilize Facebook
not only to spread chaos
but to actually profit from it.
You'll find the hours
very reasonable,
and I'm working on getting
full health and dental
for all employees.
Here's your
company uniform.
You see,
what I've done, Adam,
is built a completely
self-sustaining chaos machine...
You look fantastic...
Doing nothing more than what
Facebook was designed to do.
I make money from Facebook
for my fake content
in order to pay Facebook
to promote my fake stories.
And thusly,
we're growing bigger every day.
Everyone, can I have
your attention please?
We have
a new agent of chaos.
Please welcome
Adam Borque.
Here you go. You can
take this workstation, Adam.
Just start writing
horrible things about people
and presenting it as reality
on Facebook.
All right! Don't forget
we have a chaos quota, gang!
Let's really
shit up.
All right. Can
everyone hear me in the back?
M'kay We're gonna
get started here.
I know you all
have a lot of questions,
so without further ado,
let me introduce
Mark Zuckerberg.
Thanks for coming,
Mr. Zuckerberg.
Thank you.
It is a great honor
to be here
amongst all of you.
For those few
who don't know,
could you tell us
who you are?
I am the founder and chairman
of FACEBOOK.
But I also have a style that is
completely unblockable.
Okay,
we'll let him speak,
and then we'll open the floor
to some questions
if there's time.
Thank you.
Thank you, right.
All right. Everyone here
wants to see my style.
But first what I'll need
is a volunteer.
Yes, you sir?
Mr. Zuckerberg, Facebook
has become a tool
for some to disrupt our country
and our community...
You say these things
like they are my fault,
and yet they are not.
Well, you did
create a platform
with a monetary incentive
for people
to spread misinformation.
Now I see you're trying
to use your style over mine.
Now, you try
to block me.
Brzzz! Byeow!
Now you have learned
that you cannot block me.
- Yes?
- Yes. What is your question?
How are we supposed
- to keep our kids...
- Ba-ba-ba-baaa! Ztzztzzzt!
Shwa! Ahh!
Pos-brb!
Wilson Aubrey?
Yeah.
It's us, your heroes,
Coon and Friends.
We're, uh...
just wondering
why you stopped following us
on Instagram.
Because you victimize
innocent people
and poop in
little girls' mouths.
That's not true,
Wilson.
We're Coon and Friends,
not Harvey Weinstein.
Facebook says it's true.
But it's not true.
But Facebook
says it's true.
Okay, but it's not true,
and you need to have
your own brain
and decide shit
for yourself!
God damn it!
Let's just face it.
We're never gonna have
a superhero franchise!
It's so unfair!
Come on, fellas.
We can't let Butters win.
Forget it, Fastpass.
The world hates us now.
Yeah, nobody
believes in us.
We believe in each other,
don't we?
Who cares what
everyone else thinks?
I joined this franchise
because I believe
that it can make
a lot of money.
And being a superhero means
you keep believing in that money
no matter how hard
things get.
Fastpass is right.
We've let all this distract us
from what's important.
We just need to get
the Netflix series
and let our superhero franchise
speak for itself.
Coon, everybody hates us.
Maybe so, but we
know who we are.
We are Coon Friends because
we care about each other,
because we have
each other's backs.
And when things
look their darkest,
these heroes
will stand together and re...
Hey, babe,
what's up?
What are you up to?
Nothing. Just
wearing sweet costumes,
talking about fighting evil.
Is that okay?
I just... I thought we were
meeting at the park.
You didn't
text or anything.
Oh, my God. Are you
kidding me right now?
Sorry!
I won't interrupt.
Because we are
Coon and Friends,
and as long as
we have each other,
we can do anything!
I swear that was the worst
public speaker I've ever seen.
What was
Mark Zuckerberg's point?
I don't even understand
what that was about.
Guess nobody realized
Mark Zuckerberg
was such a penis.
What the hell?!
It's Mark Zuckerberg.
I know who it is!
Excuse me,
what are you doing here?
I was invited here
by people.
We invited you
to come speak
to our community
about our problems!
Ah! I see what you did there.
Trying to block me, right?
I am tired of eating chips.
What else is there?
Hey!
Get out of our fridge.
This puny
refrigerator could not block me.
What makes you think
you can?
Now, you listen here!
I will not...
Bzzt!
Oh! Jrmm!
Pyow! Wha!
You are no match
for my style.
So, where are we headed?
Perhaps we should get some food.
What... Excuse me,
this is our car.
You call this a car?
It wasn't even remotely able
to block me.
What is this car's style?
Get... Get out of here,
you... you penis!
You say I am a penis,
and yet I am not a penis.
Netflix. You're green lit.
Who am I speaking with?
Uh, yes, hello, we have
an idea for a show
that we think would be great
for Netflix.
Okay, great.
Would you like a pilot
or just go straight to
an order of six episodes?
We'd like to go
right into six episodes
with a pickup option
at the end of three.
Got it. Can you start shooting
next month?
Got a show about
transsexual dragons here!
Yes, we're ready to start
right now.
We are very, very excited.
Okay, sounds great.
We'll send you the contracts.
Oh, and, uh,
what's the show about?
It's a stand-alone series
about a superhero
called The Coon
before he joins
Coon and Friends.
Coon and Friends?
You mean the kids
I just read about in the news
who stabbed Jessica Alba?
Look, you didn't... you didn't
read that on the news.
You read that on Facebook.
Aw, man, here we go.
Yeah uh, digit,
we've never done this before,
but I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to pass on your show.
Listen to me!
There are falsehoods about us
on Facebook that are not true!
Well, then you should
have those things taken down.
It can't be that hard.
It's a lot harder
than you think!
Look, we'd love
to approve your show,
but you need to get those things
cleared up first, okay?
Thanks for calling.
Netflix. You're green lit.
Who am I speaking with?
What the...
Who are you?
I believe
that's Mark Zuckerberg.
Hey, that's my soup!
So, you are trying
to block me, huh?
That's fine.
What's your style?
I don't have a style!
Hey!
Get out of my bed!
I was invited here.
I am only making use of a bed
for sleeping, yes?
We just wanted you
to come
share your insights
on Facebook!
Shnn!
Oh, my head! My head!
Shaaa!
You should have worked with me
when you had the chance.
Now you lie
over there, dead.
Attention,
employees.
Kelly Shmidt has just written
her 100th fake blog post
that was shared over 1,000 times
on Facebook.
Let's hear it for Kelly!
Don't forget about
those Chaos incentives!
You too can benefit
from pandemonium.
Butters!
Oh, no!
It's Coon and Friends!
Ahh!
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Calm down, everyone.
Stick to your work.
I will deal
with these trespassers.
We're here
to put an end to you, Chaos!
Yeah! I don't have
butt sex with antelopes,
and Token doesn't poop
in girls' mouths!
It's the 21st century,
gentlemen.
There's nothing illegal
about what I'm doing.
Yeah? Nothing illegal about us
kicking your a-a-ass either.
Actually that is illegal.
And besides, you can't do
anything to me.
Hyah! Syo-yo-yo!
Wah! So, this is
the Coon and Friends
that you have
told me about.
I warn you, my fighting style
is unsurpassed.
Who the S-S-S-Sam Hell
is that?
I think
that's Mark Zuckerberg.
You wanna get
to Butters, right?
You're gonna have
to get through me, huh!
Dude. This kid
is deliberately lying about us
on your platform
for no other reason
than to cause harm.
Why are you
protecting him?
Simple.
He paid me $17.23.
It's the Facebook
safeguard program.
Just $17 monthly
gets you
personal protection
from Mark Zuckerberg.
Come on!
What's your style?
All right. All right.
Everyone calm down.
I can't hear over all you!
You have
to do something!
This guy is going around
acting like everyone's stuff
is his!
I'm sick of getting
out of the shower
to find Mark Zuckerberg
sitting on my toilet!
Zuckerberg ate everything
in our freezer
and then helped himself
to my wife's lubricant!
All right. All right.
Everyone!
I just want
to know one thing.
Who invited him here?
Come on. Who invited
Mark Zuckerberg to town
in the first place?
- We did.
- We did.
Huh? What's that?
We invited Mark Zuckerberg
to town.
Uh-huh.
That's what I thought.
You all brought Mark Zuckerberg
into your lives
and now you want the police
to shoot him.
Please,
you don't understand.
He's...
He's such a penis.
Yeah, and I'm pretty sure his
voice is dubbed
and he does all
his own sound effects...
Well, that doesn't mean
he's done anything illegal.
Now, the police will help deal
with Mark Zuckerberg, but...
we aren't going to shoot him.
I'm sorry,
that's just the way it is.
You all should have thought
harder about this
before letting him
into your lives.
When we all became superheroes,
we took an oath.
That no matter what it took we
would make shit loads of money.
But thanks to Mark Zuckerberg,
right now...
we are a superhero group
that can't even get a show
on Netflix.
Zuckerberg is the key.
He's the only person
who can shut down Facebook.
How are we going to get him
to do that?
We're gonna beat him
at his own game.
We got the west entrance
to town secure.
How you guys doing
out east?
Here he comes.
Okay, Mr. Zuckerberg.
That's gonna have to be it.
Can't let you into town.
So, you think
you can block me?
Look, people
don't want you here okay?
This is a quiet little town
and...
You cannot block me.
There's plenty of other places
you can go, sir.
Can you please just...
Don't...
Don't do that please...
My brain! My brain!
Aah!
He walked through.
Aah! My my car! My car!
Oh, my God!
It's Mark Zuckerberg!
Oh, my God!
How'd he do that?!
What's the matter?
Too f-f-fast for you?
You saw me walk right
through that police barricade,
and yet you think
you can block me, right?
Go ahead and try.
Now Zuckerberg! Let's see you
block my shtoile!
Pew! Pew! Pew!
Wha, da, da, da, da.
Bam!
Oh!
Ow!
I have never witnessed
this style before!
Hey, look!
The freaky costume kids
are getting Zuckerberg!
Get him, kids!
Poop in his mouth!
Aah!
You tried to match my style
and failed!
Oh! It is over!
My friends are all beaten!
Why?!
They were just children.
This one simply protesting
for black lives.
And this child trying to speak
out for handicapped people!
W-Why, Mark Zuckerberg?
And my friend Kyle,
guilty of nothing but standing
up for the rights of Jews.
Wh-wha-what
are you talking about?
Ever heard
of Facebook Live?
We are just kids trying to have
our voices heard for
black, handicapped
and Jewish rights.
Cut down in our prime
by Mark Zuckerberg.
But... but hold on.
That... that's not true!
Facebook says it's true.
Nooo!
Huh? -What? -Hey!
- What?
- What's going on?!
Everyone keep working!
- We can't.
- Something's wrong
with Facebook.
It's gone. Like...
somebody shut it down.
What are you talking about?!
It's over, Chaos!
We've forced your little toady
to shut down
his own disorder device.
Curse you, Coon and Friends!
This isn't over!
Oh, yes, it is.
Butters! You're the one
who started all this?!
Uh-oh.
♪♪
You think
you're just so smart don't you?
- No, sir! No, sir, I just...
- Make me look like a fool will you?!
We'll just see about this!
Not so funny now is it?!
Go on!
Tell Mr. Putin what you told me!
Well, I was just...
Well, I just said how I just
used Facebook like Russia did
and really didn't break
any rules...
Didn't break any rules!
Good job teaching our children
that's all that matters!
Just because there's a way to
cause chaos in a town
or disrupt an entire country
doesn't mean you go and do it,
does it?
If Mark Zuckerberg
points a loaded cannon
at someone's face,
are you innocent
for just lighting the fuse?!
Answer me.
No! You don't go around making
up things about people either,
unless it's about
Mark Zuckerberg
'cause he deserves it.
I hope you're both
very satisfied
with the damage you've caused,
because you're both grounded!
Coon Friends, we have done it.
Facebook is gone and Netflix
has approved our TV show.
All we have to do now
is agree on the final draft
of the Franchise Plan.
You can see that the
SuperCraig movie now precedes
the Coon VS SuperCraig movie
followed by Mysterion's
video game and then...
How come I have to have
the video game?
I wanna movie too.
You have a movie, Mysterion.
You're in the third
Coon and Friends United movie
after your video game.
Yeah, but he's saying he doesn't
ever get his own movie.
Do I get my own movie? Not
everyone gets their own movie.
- This franchise plan sucks.
- Oh, Jesus, here we go again.
No,
Wonder Tweek is right.
It was better when we started
the movies off
with the Tupperware prequel. Dude,
you can't do a prequel first.
- Why not?
- 'Cause then it's not a prequel,
it's just first.
And besides Tupperware
isn't our strongest character.
you.
It's better than a human kite.
He just likes this plan because
he gets two movies in phase one.
Guys! We have to just
go with this plan.
We don't even have
one movie yet!
You go with the plan.
Maybe we'll just
go and do our own franchise.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Oh, you want civil war?!
Is that what you want?!
- Yeah, dude. It's civil war.
- you.
Oh you.
Get outta my house.
We'll make way more money
on our franchise!
Go ahead. I bet you don't even
get halfway through phase one
on your franchise,
DC Comics.
I thought Civil War wasn't
supposed to happen
- until phase three.
- Shut up, SuperCraig.
♪♪
Synchronized by srjanapala