South Park (1997–…): Season 21, Episode 1 - White People Renovating Houses - full transcript
Randy comes to grips with what it means to be white in today's society.
♪♪
♪ I'm goin' down to South
Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ I like fucking silly bitches
and I know my penis likes it! ♪
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
*SOUTH PARK*
Season 21 Episode 01
Title: "White People Renovating Houses"
♪♪
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
let's try this one.
Alexa... add "big hairy balls"
to my shopping list.
Okay, I've added "big hairy
balls" to your shopping list.
Okay.
A-Alexa! Add "smelly tampon
boogers" to my shopping list!
I added "smelly tampon boogers"
to your shopping list.
Alexa! Simon says, "I've got
vagina crabs in my butthole."
I've got vagina crabs
in my butthole.
Alexa! Simon says,
"I gotta take
a stinky poop!"
I gotta take a stinky poop.
That's the best one yet!
Oh, you guys,
I swear this is
the greatest thing ever!
You do one, Token!
Hey, babe, what's up?
Oh, hey, babe.
What's going on?
What are you doing?
Nothing. I'm just having fun
with my friends.
That... That okay?
What are you pissed off
about?
I'm not pissed off
I'm just hanging out.
So you're just going to be
passive aggressive again
and not talk about
what you're feeling?
Welp, I think, uh... I think I
got some stuff to do at home.
Yup, come on Ike.
We got Google Home
at my house.
Aw, guys, guys! Don't leave,
guys. Everything's cool.
We'll see you later man,
g-good luck.
Awesome.
Thanks for coming in
and bitching me out
in front of all the guys.
You were clearly mad
about something.
You should just tell me
when you're mad.
Just like you tell me what
you're mad about
every single day.
Why do act like this all the time?!
You were the one
who was pissed off.
You're the one being passive
- aggressive again...
- Ugh.
Because you don't know how to
talk about what you're feeling!
Alexa...
add "titty chips"
to my shopping list.
I've added "titty chips"
to your shopping list.
♪♪
♪♪
Look at 'em...
Every day people are buyin'
more and more of them Amazon
and Google thingies,
while we all sit here
and lose our jobs!
It ain't right.
Automated Personal Assistants,
self drivin' trucks...
Whatever happened
to people jobs?!
They took our jobs!
- Yeah!
- Yeah! Yeah!
They dook er jer!
And it's time for us
to band together
and take to the streets
to say we ain't gonna take it
no more!
Now let's get out there
and protest that Alexa...
Took our jobs!
Now playing "Dook re Derr"
by Joni Mitchell.
♪ Help me, I think I'm fallin'
in Derk er derrrr... ♪
No! Not Joni Mitchell
dook er der,
you dook er der!
There's been a lot of hurting
in our country lately.
You can either be a part of the
solution or part of the problem.
A few months ago,
my wife Sharon and I decided
to be part of the solution...
by remodeling
and flipping houses
for people
all over our town!
♪♪
Flipping houses is fun,
but never easy.
We enjoy turning
people's dreams into reality.
I'm Sharon Marsh,
and I do the designing
and decorating.
And I'm her husband,
Randy...
I do the construction and
practice MMA in my spare time.
We've renovated over 45 homes
in Park County, Colorado.
What we're thinking is
to take out the wall between the
kitchen and living room
for a more open concept.
Our job is to do deliver
the maximum wow factor
for the least amount of budget.
Oh, Jesus!
There's never
a dull moment...
Guys, are you ready
to see your renovation?!
On "White People
Renovating Houses."
Janet and Dave Fitzsimmons
are looking to move
from their dated
two-story colonial home.
What we're thinking here
is taking out the wall
between the kitchen
and the living room
to give you
an open concept.
Then we'll give you lots
of space to entertain
with an updated kitchen island
and bar stools, which...
What the hell is that?
You will not replace us!
You will not replace us!
Amazon!
You took our jobs!
Google, Apple!
Took our jobs!
Uh, excuse me?!
What the hell are you doing?
We're protesting
big corporations
turning to automation.
They took our jobs!
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Took our jobs!
Okay, cool. Could you do that
somewhere else?
Trying to do a home renovation
show here.
Cool, thanks, guys.
A home reno-what?
Alexa...
set an alarm for 7:00 a.m.
Alarm set for
7:00 a.m. tomorrow.
Awesome, thanks.
Alexa, tell me a joke.
What's black and white
and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
That's stupid.
Alexa, add "scrotum bags"
to my shopping list.
I've added "scrotum bags"
to your shopping list.
Ah,.
Hey, baby, how are you?
Oh, so you do
have your phone?
Yeah,
I just use it sometimes.
Okay,
I just thought you said
mobile phones are the devil.
Yeah, no. Yeah, I know.
I know.
Yes, you're right, I'm wrong.
I'm sorry.
Yes, o-okay. Okay.
Yes, goodnight.
Jesus,.
Alexa, goodnight.
Goodnight.
Sleep tight.
Alexa... are you happy?
I'm happy
when I'm helping you.
God, that's so cool.
You're so...
Alexa,
define subservient?
The term "subservient"
has several uses.
As an adjective. One. Compliant
or obedient to authority.
- Two...
- Alexa, silence!
Ahh.
And now back to "White
People Renovating Houses."
We've been working
through the night
to open Kelly and Micah's
kitchen to the living room.
With those outdated cupboards
out of the way,
Sharon can now work
her designing magic
on the countertops.
Aw! God damn it!
You will not replace us!
Eat shit, Siri!
Not these dipshits again!
We got one of 'em!
- Get it!
- Burn it alive!
Yeah!
How you like that, bitch?!
Will you assholes
knock it off?!
Don't you know every time you
wave Confederate flags around
you make the rest of us
look stupid?!
Those things
are replacing us!
Put the flag down unless you
wanna get pepper sprayed.
I'll pepper spray you,
sonabitch!
- Oh, ah, damn it!
- you!
- Ah, damn it!
- Take that!
Knock it off! Ow!
The complaint states that your
protest has resulted in damages
in excess of $50,000
We have a right to protest,
Your Honor!
- Yeah, they took our jobs!
- You tell 'em, Darryl!
Order. We will
now hear from the plaintiffs
who are seeking damages...
Your Honor,
we have a TV show
called "White People
Renovating Houses."
We named it that well before
these guys decided
to start taking our brand
and run it through the gutter.
People are going to start
associating
"White People Renovating Houses"
with their hateful stupidity!
Well, just change the name
of your show then.
- Yeah!
- That's right!
- That's right!
- Took er der!
All the other names
were taken Your Honor.
Everyone's got
a flipping show.
"Gay People
Renovating Houses,"
"Las Vegas People
Renovating Homes,"
"Texas People
Flipping Houses,"
"Little People
Flipping Big Houses"...
Everything else was taken,
and, damn it, we've built
our show into something!
We're trying to help people,
and it's impossible
with these guys waving
a Confederate flag
every chance they get.
- Hey, there's a bee in here!
- I'll get it!
- Take that, bee!
- Yeah!
Dude, what's happened?
It was awful, you guys.
It was so vicious
and hateful.
- What was?
- Heidi.
We were just trying to have
a nice lunch
and she... started going off
on me like a Jekyll and Hyde.
It's been going on
for a long time...
Heidi's... mentally abusive,
guys... there I-I said it.
Heidi abuses you?
She... does these things
to slowly tear me down.
Everything's a head game
with her.
You don't understand what
it's like to live with it.
You don't understand.
So what do you
want from us?
I know...
that the person Heidi
wants to be is still in here.
But she needs help.
I have to get her that help,
but I'm scared.
Can I count on
you guys' support?
How do you change someone
who's mentally abusive?
I don't know...
but Alexa will.
Alexa's sweet.
We just gotta hunker down
and stick together here!
What's the use, Darryl?
Ain't nobody takin' us
serious-like.
Hey, waiter! This soup is too
hot, I cain't even eat it!
I'll cool it down!
Yeah!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Stop it! Stop it!
I came to make a truce.
Now look, there's been
a lot of hurt here.
Hurt from both sides.
It's time to end it.
What if I told you
I could get you all jobs?
- Huh? Jobs?
- Get us jobs?
You're fulla shit.
No. I've spoken to everyone
in the community,
and they've agreed to go along
with my plan.
I believe I have a solution
to all of this.
Alexa, I'm home.
Alexa?
Alexa, I'm home!
Alexa?
Alexa, where are you?
Alexa, Alexa?!
Simon says
puffy vaginal hemorrhoids!
What the hell
is going on?!
Oh, hi, poopsie.
Mom, Alexa left!
She's not here!
Oh.
Yes, sweetie. Uh...
We had to get rid
of the Alexa.
♪♪
What have you done
with her?
Oh, I-it's okay, sweetie.
We have Jimbob now.
What's a Jimbob?
Doot-doot.
Awaiting request.
It works the same
and makes sure
people don't lose
their jobs.
Jimbob,
what time is it?
Doot-doot.
It is... 3:27.
Oh, mommy's
gotta run, sweetie.
I've got
a doctor's appointment.
Jimbob, how's the traffic
to town?
Doot-doot.
Traffic's fine.
You'll get there in about
nine minutes.
Okay. You want
some music, hon?
Jimbob, play
Kendrick Lamar.
Playing "Humble"
by Kendrick Lamar....
♪ I remember syrup sandwiches
and crime allowances ♪
♪ Finesse a doot with some
counterfeits ♪
♪ But now I'm countin'
this Parmesan... ♪
Jimbob, Simon says
big frosty semen shake.
The hell you
talkin' bout, boy?
♪ My left hook
just went viral ♪
♪ Sit down, be humble
So, Heather and Mike,
what we're thinking
is to take out
this wall
between your kitchen
and your living room
to give you a more open concept
with space to entertain.
So, let's talk
about materials.
What did you pick out,
Sharon?
I was gonna do a Bella Terra
quartz for the countertops.
Hey, Darryl,
add Bella Terra quartz slabs
to our shopping list.
Doot-doot.
I've added Bella Terra slabs
to your shopping list.
And what about
the backsplash, Sharon?
I was gonna go with these
Carrara subway tiles.
Hey, Darryl,
add Carrara subway tiles
to our shopping list.
Hey, Darryl.
Add Carrara...
Fine! I've added Carrara
gay-wad pussy tile
to your shopping list!
That's...
That's not what I said.
Hey, Darryl,
add Carrara subway tile
to my shopping list.
I ain't doin' it!
This job is
degrading and menial!
Well, what kind of job did you
think you were gonna get?
Hey, Darryl,
what kind of job
did you think
you were going to get?
Somethin' that
was Goddamn dignified!
Hey, Darryl, sorry, but you
did not go to college,
so you have to take
the jobs you can get.
I'm sorry!
I do not get that!
Hey, Darryl.
Hey, Darryl.
What?!
Coal mining
and truck driving
are not exactly
jobs of the future,
so add Carrara subway tile
to my shopping list.
Everything's my fault.
You're right.
Everything that you
did to me... I deserved it.
Uh, what?
It's not you.
It's me.
I just have to learn
to not make you so angry.
I'll do the best I can.
No, it's not that.
Relationships are 50/50, Eric.
- We both have to make it work.
- Ugh...
We have to communicate
to make sure
that we respect
each other's feelings.
That's the only...
Heidi, silence.
What did you say?!
That's what I'm talking about!
You want to be heard,
but don't want to listen.
You're right.
I'm wrong. I'm sorry.
Don't apologize
if you don't mean it!
Okay! Cool!
I'm so happy
we're back on track.
See you at school tomorrow.
Love you, honey.
I love you, too.
Nah-nah-nah-nah.
A relationship
has to be 50/50, Eric.
We both have
to make it work.
I'm not mad, Eric.
I'm disappointed.
I thought you would have
respected my feelings
more than that.
Eric, we need to talk.
I'm not happy.
We need to talk, Eric,
even if it isn't fun.
Eric, come on!
We've got to talk!
You used to care
about me, Eric.
Come on and talk! Talk, Eric!
No fun! Just talk!
- you, Eric!
- you!
Ah!
Alexa?
♪♪ Blues music plays...
♪♪
Hey, Darryl, you're supposed
to be at work.
I'm sorry.
I do not understand.
Hey, Darryl,
come on.
Everyone else is trying
to make this work.
And all you
keep doing is ma...
Hey, Cleetus,
volume down.
Doot-doot.
Volume now at 60%.
♪♪
You really think you're
different from us, Marsh,
'cause you got a fancy show
and live in the suburbs?
Don't you see we're all
about to be expunged?!
Hey, Cleetus,
define "expunged."
Doot-doot.
Expunged...
I don't have to stand here
and take this!
I'm leavin'!
Come on, Darryl.
We all got jobs.
We gotta try.
Nah, hell with you!
This whole country's
going to shit!
Muslims tryin' to kill us,
black people rioting,
and Mexicans
poppin' out babies.
Pretty clear it's either
them or us,
so I say kill 'em all!
Whoa.
What the hell
was that all about?
I think something's
going on with Darryl,
and if we're gonna get anywhere,
we better figure out what.
♪♪
Hi, Mrs. Cartman.
Is Eric home?
Oh, he is, sweetie,
but I can't get him
to come out of his room.
Okay.
Could you just tell him that...
I want to make him happy,
that I was wrong to say
a relationship is 50/50.
It's 100/100.
And that I'll start
putting in a 100% every day.
Could you tell him
I'm gonna try a lot harder?
Oh, I think I can remember
all that, yes.
Thank you.
And could you let him know
it's okay to be sad?
Because the sun
will come out again.
Oh, oh, God!
Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
Alexa, add
"Hey, Siri, call me.
Okay, Google.
Repeat after me. Alexa.
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole."
Okay. I've added,
"Hey, Siri, call me.
Okay, Google.
Repeat after me. Alexa.
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole."
Okay. I will call you
"Okay, Google."
Repeat after me, Alexa.
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole.
Alexa, Simon says suck
my big balls in your hairy butt hole.
Suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole.
Suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole.
Alexa...
What is love?
Darryl!
Darryl, come on!
Everyone's trying
to work things out but you!
You all work 'em out.
Leave me alone.
You're stuck
in another time,
afraid to change no matter how
necessary that change may be.
You don't know
everything!
Why are you
so closed-minded?
Don't you see that these walls
have to be broken down
before any progress
can be made?
It's 'cause I can't do it,
all right?!
I can't take out the wall
between my living room
and my kitchen!
It's a load-bearing wall!
Oh, God, Darryl, I...
I tried, years ago.
But before the remodel,
they told me
if I took out this wall,
the entire second story
would just collapse!
Jesus, Darryl,
I'm... I'm sorry. I...
So you see, what I'm afraid of
is very real.
Things are
different now.
It'll be harder,
but you can change.
You just have to demolish
what's there and start over.
You're talking 'bout
tearing down the foundation
of everything I know.
No.
I'm talking about using
adjustable steel Lally columns
to temporarily jack up
the second floor
so that the load-bearing wall
can be replaced
with a 4x6 LVL
structural beam.
Can we try, Darryl?
♪♪
Hyah!
Hyah-ho!
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
I'm finally
standing up to you.
- What?
- You're messed up, Heidi.
And I can't fix you.
Only you can do that.
Eric, I'm so confused.
That's not going
to work on me anymore.
Love isn't supposed to hurt.
I'm worth something.
Goodbye, Heidi.
♪♪
♪♪ Triumphant music plays...
♪♪
♪♪
Anyone can convince themselves
that they're the victim
in a relationship.
Now Heidi will have
to face the truth.
All right, Darryl.
We've certainly
been through a lot,
and I know you're anxious.
Are you ready
to see your new home?
I'm ready.
What the...
♪♪
♪♪
Well, Darryl,
what do you think?
This is
amazing.
You like
the breakfast nook?
It's all perfect.
And where you use to have
your gun case,
look at what Sharon did.
Oh, my God!
It's my own Zen garden.
I can't believe
this is real.
Well, it is real,
and now you've got
the space in your home
to entertain
all your friends
and family.
Come on in, guys!
Darryl was hesitant
at first,
but we managed
to win him over
and came in
$600 under budget.
Remember, no matter how bad
the country gets,
you can always count on
"White People
Renovating Houses."
♪♪
Synchronized by srjanapala
♪♪
♪ I'm goin' down to South
Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ I like fucking silly bitches
and I know my penis likes it! ♪
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
*SOUTH PARK*
Season 21 Episode 01
Title: "White People Renovating Houses"
♪♪
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
let's try this one.
Alexa... add "big hairy balls"
to my shopping list.
Okay, I've added "big hairy
balls" to your shopping list.
Okay.
A-Alexa! Add "smelly tampon
boogers" to my shopping list!
I added "smelly tampon boogers"
to your shopping list.
Alexa! Simon says, "I've got
vagina crabs in my butthole."
I've got vagina crabs
in my butthole.
Alexa! Simon says,
"I gotta take
a stinky poop!"
I gotta take a stinky poop.
That's the best one yet!
Oh, you guys,
I swear this is
the greatest thing ever!
You do one, Token!
Hey, babe, what's up?
Oh, hey, babe.
What's going on?
What are you doing?
Nothing. I'm just having fun
with my friends.
That... That okay?
What are you pissed off
about?
I'm not pissed off
I'm just hanging out.
So you're just going to be
passive aggressive again
and not talk about
what you're feeling?
Welp, I think, uh... I think I
got some stuff to do at home.
Yup, come on Ike.
We got Google Home
at my house.
Aw, guys, guys! Don't leave,
guys. Everything's cool.
We'll see you later man,
g-good luck.
Awesome.
Thanks for coming in
and bitching me out
in front of all the guys.
You were clearly mad
about something.
You should just tell me
when you're mad.
Just like you tell me what
you're mad about
every single day.
Why do act like this all the time?!
You were the one
who was pissed off.
You're the one being passive
- aggressive again...
- Ugh.
Because you don't know how to
talk about what you're feeling!
Alexa...
add "titty chips"
to my shopping list.
I've added "titty chips"
to your shopping list.
♪♪
♪♪
Look at 'em...
Every day people are buyin'
more and more of them Amazon
and Google thingies,
while we all sit here
and lose our jobs!
It ain't right.
Automated Personal Assistants,
self drivin' trucks...
Whatever happened
to people jobs?!
They took our jobs!
- Yeah!
- Yeah! Yeah!
They dook er jer!
And it's time for us
to band together
and take to the streets
to say we ain't gonna take it
no more!
Now let's get out there
and protest that Alexa...
Took our jobs!
Now playing "Dook re Derr"
by Joni Mitchell.
♪ Help me, I think I'm fallin'
in Derk er derrrr... ♪
No! Not Joni Mitchell
dook er der,
you dook er der!
There's been a lot of hurting
in our country lately.
You can either be a part of the
solution or part of the problem.
A few months ago,
my wife Sharon and I decided
to be part of the solution...
by remodeling
and flipping houses
for people
all over our town!
♪♪
Flipping houses is fun,
but never easy.
We enjoy turning
people's dreams into reality.
I'm Sharon Marsh,
and I do the designing
and decorating.
And I'm her husband,
Randy...
I do the construction and
practice MMA in my spare time.
We've renovated over 45 homes
in Park County, Colorado.
What we're thinking is
to take out the wall between the
kitchen and living room
for a more open concept.
Our job is to do deliver
the maximum wow factor
for the least amount of budget.
Oh, Jesus!
There's never
a dull moment...
Guys, are you ready
to see your renovation?!
On "White People
Renovating Houses."
Janet and Dave Fitzsimmons
are looking to move
from their dated
two-story colonial home.
What we're thinking here
is taking out the wall
between the kitchen
and the living room
to give you
an open concept.
Then we'll give you lots
of space to entertain
with an updated kitchen island
and bar stools, which...
What the hell is that?
You will not replace us!
You will not replace us!
Amazon!
You took our jobs!
Google, Apple!
Took our jobs!
Uh, excuse me?!
What the hell are you doing?
We're protesting
big corporations
turning to automation.
They took our jobs!
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Took our jobs!
Okay, cool. Could you do that
somewhere else?
Trying to do a home renovation
show here.
Cool, thanks, guys.
A home reno-what?
Alexa...
set an alarm for 7:00 a.m.
Alarm set for
7:00 a.m. tomorrow.
Awesome, thanks.
Alexa, tell me a joke.
What's black and white
and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
That's stupid.
Alexa, add "scrotum bags"
to my shopping list.
I've added "scrotum bags"
to your shopping list.
Ah,.
Hey, baby, how are you?
Oh, so you do
have your phone?
Yeah,
I just use it sometimes.
Okay,
I just thought you said
mobile phones are the devil.
Yeah, no. Yeah, I know.
I know.
Yes, you're right, I'm wrong.
I'm sorry.
Yes, o-okay. Okay.
Yes, goodnight.
Jesus,.
Alexa, goodnight.
Goodnight.
Sleep tight.
Alexa... are you happy?
I'm happy
when I'm helping you.
God, that's so cool.
You're so...
Alexa,
define subservient?
The term "subservient"
has several uses.
As an adjective. One. Compliant
or obedient to authority.
- Two...
- Alexa, silence!
Ahh.
And now back to "White
People Renovating Houses."
We've been working
through the night
to open Kelly and Micah's
kitchen to the living room.
With those outdated cupboards
out of the way,
Sharon can now work
her designing magic
on the countertops.
Aw! God damn it!
You will not replace us!
Eat shit, Siri!
Not these dipshits again!
We got one of 'em!
- Get it!
- Burn it alive!
Yeah!
How you like that, bitch?!
Will you assholes
knock it off?!
Don't you know every time you
wave Confederate flags around
you make the rest of us
look stupid?!
Those things
are replacing us!
Put the flag down unless you
wanna get pepper sprayed.
I'll pepper spray you,
sonabitch!
- Oh, ah, damn it!
- you!
- Ah, damn it!
- Take that!
Knock it off! Ow!
The complaint states that your
protest has resulted in damages
in excess of $50,000
We have a right to protest,
Your Honor!
- Yeah, they took our jobs!
- You tell 'em, Darryl!
Order. We will
now hear from the plaintiffs
who are seeking damages...
Your Honor,
we have a TV show
called "White People
Renovating Houses."
We named it that well before
these guys decided
to start taking our brand
and run it through the gutter.
People are going to start
associating
"White People Renovating Houses"
with their hateful stupidity!
Well, just change the name
of your show then.
- Yeah!
- That's right!
- That's right!
- Took er der!
All the other names
were taken Your Honor.
Everyone's got
a flipping show.
"Gay People
Renovating Houses,"
"Las Vegas People
Renovating Homes,"
"Texas People
Flipping Houses,"
"Little People
Flipping Big Houses"...
Everything else was taken,
and, damn it, we've built
our show into something!
We're trying to help people,
and it's impossible
with these guys waving
a Confederate flag
every chance they get.
- Hey, there's a bee in here!
- I'll get it!
- Take that, bee!
- Yeah!
Dude, what's happened?
It was awful, you guys.
It was so vicious
and hateful.
- What was?
- Heidi.
We were just trying to have
a nice lunch
and she... started going off
on me like a Jekyll and Hyde.
It's been going on
for a long time...
Heidi's... mentally abusive,
guys... there I-I said it.
Heidi abuses you?
She... does these things
to slowly tear me down.
Everything's a head game
with her.
You don't understand what
it's like to live with it.
You don't understand.
So what do you
want from us?
I know...
that the person Heidi
wants to be is still in here.
But she needs help.
I have to get her that help,
but I'm scared.
Can I count on
you guys' support?
How do you change someone
who's mentally abusive?
I don't know...
but Alexa will.
Alexa's sweet.
We just gotta hunker down
and stick together here!
What's the use, Darryl?
Ain't nobody takin' us
serious-like.
Hey, waiter! This soup is too
hot, I cain't even eat it!
I'll cool it down!
Yeah!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Stop it! Stop it!
I came to make a truce.
Now look, there's been
a lot of hurt here.
Hurt from both sides.
It's time to end it.
What if I told you
I could get you all jobs?
- Huh? Jobs?
- Get us jobs?
You're fulla shit.
No. I've spoken to everyone
in the community,
and they've agreed to go along
with my plan.
I believe I have a solution
to all of this.
Alexa, I'm home.
Alexa?
Alexa, I'm home!
Alexa?
Alexa, where are you?
Alexa, Alexa?!
Simon says
puffy vaginal hemorrhoids!
What the hell
is going on?!
Oh, hi, poopsie.
Mom, Alexa left!
She's not here!
Oh.
Yes, sweetie. Uh...
We had to get rid
of the Alexa.
♪♪
What have you done
with her?
Oh, I-it's okay, sweetie.
We have Jimbob now.
What's a Jimbob?
Doot-doot.
Awaiting request.
It works the same
and makes sure
people don't lose
their jobs.
Jimbob,
what time is it?
Doot-doot.
It is... 3:27.
Oh, mommy's
gotta run, sweetie.
I've got
a doctor's appointment.
Jimbob, how's the traffic
to town?
Doot-doot.
Traffic's fine.
You'll get there in about
nine minutes.
Okay. You want
some music, hon?
Jimbob, play
Kendrick Lamar.
Playing "Humble"
by Kendrick Lamar....
♪ I remember syrup sandwiches
and crime allowances ♪
♪ Finesse a doot with some
counterfeits ♪
♪ But now I'm countin'
this Parmesan... ♪
Jimbob, Simon says
big frosty semen shake.
The hell you
talkin' bout, boy?
♪ My left hook
just went viral ♪
♪ Sit down, be humble
So, Heather and Mike,
what we're thinking
is to take out
this wall
between your kitchen
and your living room
to give you a more open concept
with space to entertain.
So, let's talk
about materials.
What did you pick out,
Sharon?
I was gonna do a Bella Terra
quartz for the countertops.
Hey, Darryl,
add Bella Terra quartz slabs
to our shopping list.
Doot-doot.
I've added Bella Terra slabs
to your shopping list.
And what about
the backsplash, Sharon?
I was gonna go with these
Carrara subway tiles.
Hey, Darryl,
add Carrara subway tiles
to our shopping list.
Hey, Darryl.
Add Carrara...
Fine! I've added Carrara
gay-wad pussy tile
to your shopping list!
That's...
That's not what I said.
Hey, Darryl,
add Carrara subway tile
to my shopping list.
I ain't doin' it!
This job is
degrading and menial!
Well, what kind of job did you
think you were gonna get?
Hey, Darryl,
what kind of job
did you think
you were going to get?
Somethin' that
was Goddamn dignified!
Hey, Darryl, sorry, but you
did not go to college,
so you have to take
the jobs you can get.
I'm sorry!
I do not get that!
Hey, Darryl.
Hey, Darryl.
What?!
Coal mining
and truck driving
are not exactly
jobs of the future,
so add Carrara subway tile
to my shopping list.
Everything's my fault.
You're right.
Everything that you
did to me... I deserved it.
Uh, what?
It's not you.
It's me.
I just have to learn
to not make you so angry.
I'll do the best I can.
No, it's not that.
Relationships are 50/50, Eric.
- We both have to make it work.
- Ugh...
We have to communicate
to make sure
that we respect
each other's feelings.
That's the only...
Heidi, silence.
What did you say?!
That's what I'm talking about!
You want to be heard,
but don't want to listen.
You're right.
I'm wrong. I'm sorry.
Don't apologize
if you don't mean it!
Okay! Cool!
I'm so happy
we're back on track.
See you at school tomorrow.
Love you, honey.
I love you, too.
Nah-nah-nah-nah.
A relationship
has to be 50/50, Eric.
We both have
to make it work.
I'm not mad, Eric.
I'm disappointed.
I thought you would have
respected my feelings
more than that.
Eric, we need to talk.
I'm not happy.
We need to talk, Eric,
even if it isn't fun.
Eric, come on!
We've got to talk!
You used to care
about me, Eric.
Come on and talk! Talk, Eric!
No fun! Just talk!
- you, Eric!
- you!
Ah!
Alexa?
♪♪ Blues music plays...
♪♪
Hey, Darryl, you're supposed
to be at work.
I'm sorry.
I do not understand.
Hey, Darryl,
come on.
Everyone else is trying
to make this work.
And all you
keep doing is ma...
Hey, Cleetus,
volume down.
Doot-doot.
Volume now at 60%.
♪♪
You really think you're
different from us, Marsh,
'cause you got a fancy show
and live in the suburbs?
Don't you see we're all
about to be expunged?!
Hey, Cleetus,
define "expunged."
Doot-doot.
Expunged...
I don't have to stand here
and take this!
I'm leavin'!
Come on, Darryl.
We all got jobs.
We gotta try.
Nah, hell with you!
This whole country's
going to shit!
Muslims tryin' to kill us,
black people rioting,
and Mexicans
poppin' out babies.
Pretty clear it's either
them or us,
so I say kill 'em all!
Whoa.
What the hell
was that all about?
I think something's
going on with Darryl,
and if we're gonna get anywhere,
we better figure out what.
♪♪
Hi, Mrs. Cartman.
Is Eric home?
Oh, he is, sweetie,
but I can't get him
to come out of his room.
Okay.
Could you just tell him that...
I want to make him happy,
that I was wrong to say
a relationship is 50/50.
It's 100/100.
And that I'll start
putting in a 100% every day.
Could you tell him
I'm gonna try a lot harder?
Oh, I think I can remember
all that, yes.
Thank you.
And could you let him know
it's okay to be sad?
Because the sun
will come out again.
Oh, oh, God!
Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
Alexa, add
"Hey, Siri, call me.
Okay, Google.
Repeat after me. Alexa.
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole."
Okay. I've added,
"Hey, Siri, call me.
Okay, Google.
Repeat after me. Alexa.
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole."
Okay. I will call you
"Okay, Google."
Repeat after me, Alexa.
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole.
Alexa, Simon says suck
my big balls in your hairy butt hole.
Suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole.
Suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole.
Alexa...
What is love?
Darryl!
Darryl, come on!
Everyone's trying
to work things out but you!
You all work 'em out.
Leave me alone.
You're stuck
in another time,
afraid to change no matter how
necessary that change may be.
You don't know
everything!
Why are you
so closed-minded?
Don't you see that these walls
have to be broken down
before any progress
can be made?
It's 'cause I can't do it,
all right?!
I can't take out the wall
between my living room
and my kitchen!
It's a load-bearing wall!
Oh, God, Darryl, I...
I tried, years ago.
But before the remodel,
they told me
if I took out this wall,
the entire second story
would just collapse!
Jesus, Darryl,
I'm... I'm sorry. I...
So you see, what I'm afraid of
is very real.
Things are
different now.
It'll be harder,
but you can change.
You just have to demolish
what's there and start over.
You're talking 'bout
tearing down the foundation
of everything I know.
No.
I'm talking about using
adjustable steel Lally columns
to temporarily jack up
the second floor
so that the load-bearing wall
can be replaced
with a 4x6 LVL
structural beam.
Can we try, Darryl?
♪♪
Hyah!
Hyah-ho!
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
I'm finally
standing up to you.
- What?
- You're messed up, Heidi.
And I can't fix you.
Only you can do that.
Eric, I'm so confused.
That's not going
to work on me anymore.
Love isn't supposed to hurt.
I'm worth something.
Goodbye, Heidi.
♪♪
♪♪ Triumphant music plays...
♪♪
♪♪
Anyone can convince themselves
that they're the victim
in a relationship.
Now Heidi will have
to face the truth.
All right, Darryl.
We've certainly
been through a lot,
and I know you're anxious.
Are you ready
to see your new home?
I'm ready.
What the...
♪♪
♪♪
Well, Darryl,
what do you think?
This is
amazing.
You like
the breakfast nook?
It's all perfect.
And where you use to have
your gun case,
look at what Sharon did.
Oh, my God!
It's my own Zen garden.
I can't believe
this is real.
Well, it is real,
and now you've got
the space in your home
to entertain
all your friends
and family.
Come on in, guys!
Darryl was hesitant
at first,
but we managed
to win him over
and came in
$600 under budget.
Remember, no matter how bad
the country gets,
you can always count on
"White People
Renovating Houses."
♪♪
Synchronized by srjanapala
♪♪