South Park (1997–…): Season 19, Episode 1 - Stunning and Brave - full transcript
The boys show their respect for Caitlyn Jenner when a new principal makes them atone for a history of prejudice.
♪ I'm goin' down to south park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ humble folks
without temptation ♪
♪ goin' down to south park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ ample parking day or night ♪
♪ people spouting,
"howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ heading on up to south park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
♪ come on down to south park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
All right, parents and students,
please take your seats.
Okay, okay.
Now, as you know,
There was an incident
at the school last week
Involving a student
referring to rape
As a "hot cosby."
M'kay?
Listen, listen!
Principal victoria
has been fired.
-Whoa.
-What?
-Fired? Really?
-Sweet, dude!
And a new person
has been appointed
To try and make
south park elementary
A more progressive place
that fits in with today's times.
M'kay?
So, please welcome
p.C. Principal.
All right, listen up.
My name is p.C. Principal.
I don't know about you,
but frankly, I'm sick and tired
Of how minority groups are
marginalized in today's society.
I'm here because this place
is lost in a time warp!
Students who still use
the word "retarded,"
A teacher who said
women without wombs
Should get an aids test.
Oh, I was a lesbian then.
A chef person of color
Who the children
had sing soul songs,
And who the children drove
to kill himself.
No, he got brainwashed
by a cult.
And that's two days detention
for you, young man.
-We'll see you at 4:00.
-What?
Let me ask you this.
We're in colorado, right?
Where are the hispanic kids?
Huh?
Where are the ethnic
and racial minorities?
Well, we have token.
He's black.
And that's two days detention
for you, mackey.
Congratulations.
Wha-- I got detention?
I googled south park
before I came here,
And I could not believe the shit
you are getting away with.
People claiming to be advocates
of transgender rights,
But really just wanting to use
the women's bathroom.
A white man
who thinks he's chinese,
And built a wall
to keep out mongolians.
Ooh, I hate-a mongolians!
What the fuck is this?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm telling you all,
this is done.
Like it or not, p.C. Is back,
and it's bigger than ever.
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
You hear that?
That's the sound of 2015
pulling you over, people.
Suck it.
Man, I guess things are gonna
be different around here.
You know what,
I think it's good.
Let's face it,
this is long overdue.
Did you guys hear?
Cartman got
four days suspension
For calling heidi turner
"clitty litter."
Mrph rmh rmphm?
But the thing is,
eric isn't even fighting it.
It's like he's all sad
and scared.
Good!
He should be sad and scared.
These things
do matter.
And I already feel better
to be at a school
Where we can start
to have a dialogue
And talk about
this stuff.
Mr. Mackey:
Will kyle broflovski
Report to the principal's
office immediately, m'kay?
Kyle broflovski.
Did I say that all right?
Uh, hi.
I'm gerald,
kyle broflovski's father.
Have a seat.
I've been talking
with your child,
And we're gonna be giving him
two weeks detention.
What's this about, kyle?
Your son said some things
to a fourth-grade girl
That, frankly,
make me want to puke.
Now that I'm principal,
I'm not gonna allow anyone
at this school
To be made feel unsafe
and harassed.
Wh-wh-what did he say?
You'll have to excuse
my language.
"I don't think caitlyn jenner
is a hero."
This kind of transphobic
and bigoted hate speech
Isn't gonna fly here, bro!
I thought we were all on board
That caitlyn jenner
is an amazing, beautiful woman
Who had the exquisite bravery
Of a butterfly
flying against the wind.
And then this shit
comes out of people's mouths!
P.C. Principal,
I-I'm sure kyle
Was just referring
to bruce jenner as a person,
And not trying to say
anything against --
You got a fuckin'
problem, bro?
No.
'cause it's not
bruce fucking jenner!
It's caitlyn, and she's
a fucking stunning woman!
Or maybe you're the one
teaching him
To demean women
in the first place.
Huh?! What's up?
What's fuckin' up, bro?!
Look, maybe we can
all just take --
Get the fuck out of here, dude!
I mean, who the hell
does this guy think he is?
Some college kid's gonna come in
and tell us our ways are old?
Yeah.
And you can't bully
our kids like that.
Kyle's already gotten
two weeks of detention.
For what?
Just 'cause he said something
about caitlyn jenner.
Oh. Caitlyn jenner?
She's a hero.
She is stunning
and brave.
Stunning.
She is absolutely beautiful,
and an inspiration.
-Yep.
-Yep, that's right.
What the hell
are you guys talki--
Uh, we got to be careful,
gerald.
This is a college bar.
Somebody here have a problem
with caitlyn jenner?
-No.
-No?
'cause she's a stunning,
beautiful woman,
And if you want to call her
anything else,
I'm ready
to fuckin' throw down.
No, no.
We're totally fine with it.
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
"it"?
Did somebody just refer
to caitlyn jenner as "it"?!
I'm p.C., bro.
I'll throw down.
Sweet!
You're p.C., bro?
Yeah, arizona state.
Sweet, bro.
I'm p.C. Umass.
Fuck yeah!
Sweet, dude.
Sweet!
So, do we have
a fuckin' problem here?
No!
Caitlyn jenner
is the bravest woman in america.
Whee-oo!
Whee-oo! Whee-oo!
Did someone here
just say america
In a way that otherizes
and demeans
The people
of latin and south america?
Nice, dude.
You p.C.?
Yeah, chino hills.
You think venezuelans
aren't americans, brah?!
Yeah, you want to
make fun of me?!
Hey! What seems to be
the problem here, gentlemen?
Who the hell are you?
I'm p.C. Principal.
Oh, nice.
We're all p.C., too.
No way!
There's more p.C. Bros here?
Yeah, dude.
Ohio state.
Sweet, bros!
Texas a&m.
Bro, I had no idea there
were like-minded individuals
In this town
who defended social minorities.
We should all hang out!
We should totally
hang out!
We should all
get a house together
And unite
our tolerant views.
-Fucking do it, dude!
-Fuck yeah!
Fuck yeah!
Whoo!
Well, looks like things
are getting all p.C. Again.
Fuck yeah, bro!
P.C.!
Well, how long do you think
this will last?
Lasted about six years
last time.
We got at least
5.9 years to go.
Uh, hey, cartman.
What's going on?
Aren't you going
to, uh, you know,
Go do something
about this new principal?
I've already got
four days of detention.
I don't want any more.
I'm gonna start
following the rules.
But this isn't you,
cartman!
Yeah, where's the eric cartman
we know?
The eric cartman we know
breaks the rules,
And he gets away with it,
just like his hero.
Come on.
Who's your hero, cartman?
tom brady.
Right.
And what does tom brady do
after breaking the rules?
Deny and subvert.
Yeah!
Yeah, what --
what would tom brady say
If he got caught
shoplifting?
"everybody shoplifts.
Why are you coming down on me?"
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
You're tom brady, cartman.
And that new principal in there
is the football commissioner
Trying to dictate
his punishment to you.
And what happens
when an invulnerable cheater
Comes up against
an elitist corporate dictator?
A perfect storm of hypocrisy
that everyone in the country
Has to deal with
for months on end.
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
You're right, guys.
I'm gonna tom brady this thing.
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
I'm gonna say --
I'm gonna say,
"you're not giving me
four days of detention.
You're only giving me one!"
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
No. No, to hell with that.
You're giving me
no days suspension!
And then I'm gonna go home
and fuck my hot wife,
Who's not even that hot,
and kind of looks like a dude!
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
Thanks, guys.
I almost forgot the lessons
that football has taught us all.
I can get around
these pesky rules.
Butters, I'm going to need
your underwear.
Okay!
Cool.
I think we did it.
Oh, p.C. Principal.
How are you today?
What are you doing
in the faculty bathroom?
You know,
I think you and I
Got off on the wrong foot
the other day.
By all means, please,
keep your dick out.
You see, I'm not going to accept
four days of detention,
And you're going
to apologize publicly
For being so strict to me
and my friends at school.
What the fuck
are you talking about?
It's just a request,
that's all.
See you around.
Oh, you seem to have dropped
something, p.C. Principal.
What's this?
Why, this is a little boy's
underwear.
Why, this is
butters' underwear.
What?
P.C. Principal,
you have butters' underwear?
And now...
Oh, my gosh,
it's got you dna all over it.
This certainly
doesn't look good for you.
I don't need to tell anyone
about this.
No, I think we have
an understanding.
Capiche?
What did you just say?
You mean about keeping
your dick out?
"capiche"?
You're associating
italian-americans
To intimidation tactics?
You better watch
your microaggressions, bro.
O-kay.
Look, you don't
want to end up
Like the spokesman for subway,
do you?
Did you just use a term
That excludes women
from an occupation?!
Okay, let's back up.
Aah!
Did you just say spokesman
instead of spokesperson
When women
are just as capable
Of selling sandwiches
as anyone?!
Are you purposely
trying to use words
That assert
your male privilege?!
No, I'm sorry!
I was just trying to frame you
for raping butters!
Do you think italian-americans
and women are less important?!
Oh, god!
You dare to use words
that alienate
Two communities of people
who have to deal
With verbal biases like yours
on a daily basis?!
Can I speak
with p.C. Principal, please?
Oh, yeah.
We got another one, guys!
All right!
Bring him in, bro!
We're ready!
Whoo!
Wait, what?
Hey, no,
I-I don't...
All the pledges,
take a shot!
P.C. Principal:
All right, pledges.
We're excited
you want to try and be p.C.
We hope
you've got what it takes
To join the most socially active
group in america.
Whooo! Whooo!
Whooo! Whooo!
You know, there's still
some people out there that say,
"what does being p.C.
Really mean?"
Well, I'll tell you
what it means.
It means you love nothing more
than beer, working out,
And that feeling you get
when you rhetorically defend
A marginalized community
from systems of oppression.
-Whoo!
-Yeah, yeah, yeah!
-Dude, let's go!
-Whoo, whoo!
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
-Whoo-hooo!
-Whoo-hooo!
Whooo!
-Whoo-hoo!
-Let's go! Yeah!
You got home pretty late
last night.
6:00 a.M.?
I've joined
a social-awareness group.
It's a coalition that
discourages the use of...Words
That have negative
or offensive connotations
To grant respect
To people who are victims
of unfair stereotypes.
You got in at 6:00,
and now you're missing work.
We've been getting away
with horrible things, sharon.
Having laughs
at less privileged people
And thinking
it was harmless.
Our group is...Trying to be
a civilizing influence,
Where we discuss
and have meetings
To better define
and reinforce tolerance
And acceptance
of all groups of people.
Hm.
And do they have booze
at these meetings?
Uh...
They serve refreshments,
yes.
Cartman?
We can't beat him,
you guys.
P.C. Principal
is too strong.
What do we do now?
There's nothing left to do.
I'm going to admit
I did something wrong,
Take my punishment
and move on.
I'm not tom brady.
Oh, no!
Dude, if we all tell the police
what the principal did,
-He'll be fired.
-Yeah!
-No way.
-Why?
Because p.C. Principal
is right, kyle.
You and I are bigots.
And it's time
for us to grow up.
No, you're a bigot.
If I can face my prejudice,
why can't you?
We're two privileged,
straight white boys
Have their laughs about things
we never had to deal with.
I'm not
going to apologize
For saying caitlyn jenner
isn't a hero.
In fact, personally,
I think she's most likely
not a very good person.
Aah! Aah!
Kyle, believe me,
I know the struggle with hatred.
Let's make ourselves
better people...Together.
Come on, fat-ass.
No more fat shaming, kyle.
Let's start a new chapter.
So you're never gonna call me
a dirty jew again?
No.
I'm going to call you...
My friend.
Oh, fuck you.
I guess we never realized
how bad he really was.
♪♪
P.C. Principal:
All right, pledges, listen up.
Congratulations on making it
to the final cuts.
-Whoo!
-Yeah!
-Dude, let's go!
-Whoo-hoo!
Now it's time
for the final test.
So, what you're gonna have to do
to prove you belong with p.C.
Is go out there
and check someone's privilege.
Finally!
Yes!
I'm sorry,
I don't know what that is.
Tofer, can you explain
check your privilege, please?
It's getting someone
to acknowledge
Their own
inherent privileges,
And reminding them
to put them aside
In order to better understand
another human's plight.
You see,
there's still people out there
Like brett fuckin' favre,
Who think
that when we all stand up
And applaud caitlyn jenner
at the espy awards,
He can get away with
one of these bullshit claps.
It's called clapping, favre!
What the fuck are you doing?
You washing your hands?
You're either on board
or you're not, bro.
Now, if he's gonna bring shame
on someone,
Then he can have
his privilege checked,
And have a little shame
brought down on him!
You want me to shame
brett favre?
No.
'cause there's somebody
even worse now.
Aah! What the fuck, dude?!
What the fuck?
I may be down, but I'm not out.
Tom brady's never out.
you broke the rules!
Fuck you, I broke the rules.
You're breaking the rules.
Fuck you.
You broke the rules.
You broke the rules how you
found out I broke the rules.
yeah, you broke the rules!
I'm the commissioner. I can
break the rules 'cause you guys
Broke the rules before
but I didn't bust you enough.
Just 'cause you didn't
bust us enough
For breaking the rules,
that doesn't mean
You can break the rules
busting us now.
Fuck both you guys.
I can do whatever I want.
I'm breaking the rules.
Fuck you, I'm tom brady!
Fuck you,
I'm the commissioner.
I'll make up new rules.
Fuck your rules!
Fuck you guys,
always fucking rules.
I'll fuck all the rules!
Rules, rules...
Aah! Butters!
I'm here, eric.
Oh, butters.
I've lived
such a horrible life,
Always doing
whatever I want
And claiming it
to be for integrity.
Butters?
Yes, eric?
I'm never going back
to the person I was.
I swear to god.
From now on,
the world is going to know
A new and better
eric cartman.
Will you please tell your dad
to leave me alone?
Dude, what happened?
Your dad was on my lawn
yelling at me all night,
And after I finally
fell asleep,
I woke up saran-wrapped
to a tree
With penises
on my face.
And this.
Hang on.
Dad, did you draw dicks
on my friend's face?
Did I check his privilege?
Yes.
I had some refreshments,
And I checked
your friend's privilege.
That's my best friend, dad.
Stop shaming him
because you want to fit in.
Stan, straight white males
in a capitalistic society
Have little...Understanding
of victimization
Compared to injustices...
Against underprivileged.
Dicks on your face
is a very first-world problem.
oh, shit!
Look, kyle,
maybe you should just say
Caitlyn jenner
is a hero.
I didn't even say
she wasn't a hero!
I just said
she isn't a hero to me!
I didn't like bruce jenner
as a person
When he was
on the kardashians,
And I don't suddenly
like him now.
P.C. Frat boy:
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Her.
Her! Yes!
Oh, it's no use, butters.
I want to get out there
And start making
positive changes,
But I can barely even walk.
How is everybody doing?
Well, they're fine.
Everyone's just kind of keeping
their mouths shut.
It's kind of nice.
So the p.C. Guys
are leaving people alone.
Well, except for...
Who?
Well -- well, now they've made
kyle their main target.
♪♪
Kyle?
My friend kyle?
Eric,
what are you doing?
I don't have a choice.
I have to take
these p.C. People out.
Oh, but I thought
you agreed with them.
I do,
but I have to help kyle
Even if I don't agree with
his hateful, bigoted thoughts.
Kyle's view
may be warped.
I personally think
caitlyn jenner's
a stunning hero.
But that doesn't mean
I'll stand by
While kyle's intolerance
is dealt with violently.
We're going to war with these
p.C. People once and for all.
Butters, I'm going to need
200 pregnant mexican women
And some taco launchers.
Well, okay!
social justice!
One, two, three! Whoo, whoo!
I wanna be p.C.!
Whoo, whoo!
It's just the way to be for me!
And you!
Whoo, whoo!
Your hateful slurs are through!
Whoo, whoo!
I call whoo, whoo
on you!
Whoo, whoo! We'll fight until
you're p.C. Black and blue!
Whoo, whoo!
We are language police
fighting bigotry!
Hurtful words
can suck our turds,
'cause it's p.C. For me!
-And you!
-Whoo, whoo!
-Yeah!
-Fuck yeah, bro!
-Fuck yeah!
-Fuck yeah! P.C., bro!
All right.
Send in the pregnant
mexican women.
Oh, oh! Oh!
The fuck, bro!
Fire the taco launchers!
Syrian refugee children,
flank from the left!
Dude, what is this, bro?
I don't know, bro!
The syrian refugee children
are in.
Send in jared!
What in the world
is going on?
All right, good.
The pregnant mexican women
are falling asleep on the tacos.
Jared needs backup.
Send in the chinese drivers.
Aaah!
Alright, the syrian refugees are
trying to protect their
children.
Oh, fuck, there's kyle.
What the fuck
are you doing, kyle?
Enough!
Stop!
Everyone stop!
This is so wrong!
I can't let it continue.
This is not ever
what I intended.
I just want to say...
Caitlyn jenner is a hero.
There's no other way to say it.
What she did took bravery,
and she is absolutely stunning.
Whoo-hoo!
Ow, hot!
Hot, hot, hot, hot!
Ahh.
Got to hand it to you,
marsh.
You really checked
that little boy's privilege.
Using those syrian refugees
was genius, bro.
Yeah. I would've never thought
to use offensive imagery
And outrageous
stereotypes
To provoke someone
to open their eyes.
So, I'm p.C. Now?
You're not only p.C.,
you've actually changed my p.C.
Congrats.
Here's your oakleys.
Oh, wow, oakleys!
Oh, yeah, bro.
These are sweet.
So, I guess p.C. Principal
is here to stay, huh?
Yes.
But at least
we showed him
That sometimes joking
about un-p.C. Things
Can actually
be important
Because it starts
a dialogue.
What's wrong, kyle?
You have your cake.
Eat it, too.
It just seems to me
like we all lost in this,
And that the only person
who won was you.
Hmm...
And who does that
remind you of, kyle?
Now, if you don't mind,
I'm gonna go home
and fuck my hot wife.
Who kind of looks
like a dude.
Cartman: ♪ da, da-da, da, da,
da-da, da, da, da ♪
♪ da, da-da, da, da,
da-da, da-da, da, da! ♪
one, two, three! Whoo, whoo!
I wanna be p.C.!
Whoo, whoo!
It's just the way to be for me!
And you!
Whoo, whoo!
Your hateful slurs are through!
Whoo, whoo!
I call whoo, whoo
on you!
Whoo, whoo! We'll fight until
you're p.C. Black and blue!
Whoo, whoo!
gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ humble folks
without temptation ♪
♪ goin' down to south park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ ample parking day or night ♪
♪ people spouting,
"howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ heading on up to south park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
♪ come on down to south park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
All right, parents and students,
please take your seats.
Okay, okay.
Now, as you know,
There was an incident
at the school last week
Involving a student
referring to rape
As a "hot cosby."
M'kay?
Listen, listen!
Principal victoria
has been fired.
-Whoa.
-What?
-Fired? Really?
-Sweet, dude!
And a new person
has been appointed
To try and make
south park elementary
A more progressive place
that fits in with today's times.
M'kay?
So, please welcome
p.C. Principal.
All right, listen up.
My name is p.C. Principal.
I don't know about you,
but frankly, I'm sick and tired
Of how minority groups are
marginalized in today's society.
I'm here because this place
is lost in a time warp!
Students who still use
the word "retarded,"
A teacher who said
women without wombs
Should get an aids test.
Oh, I was a lesbian then.
A chef person of color
Who the children
had sing soul songs,
And who the children drove
to kill himself.
No, he got brainwashed
by a cult.
And that's two days detention
for you, young man.
-We'll see you at 4:00.
-What?
Let me ask you this.
We're in colorado, right?
Where are the hispanic kids?
Huh?
Where are the ethnic
and racial minorities?
Well, we have token.
He's black.
And that's two days detention
for you, mackey.
Congratulations.
Wha-- I got detention?
I googled south park
before I came here,
And I could not believe the shit
you are getting away with.
People claiming to be advocates
of transgender rights,
But really just wanting to use
the women's bathroom.
A white man
who thinks he's chinese,
And built a wall
to keep out mongolians.
Ooh, I hate-a mongolians!
What the fuck is this?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm telling you all,
this is done.
Like it or not, p.C. Is back,
and it's bigger than ever.
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
You hear that?
That's the sound of 2015
pulling you over, people.
Suck it.
Man, I guess things are gonna
be different around here.
You know what,
I think it's good.
Let's face it,
this is long overdue.
Did you guys hear?
Cartman got
four days suspension
For calling heidi turner
"clitty litter."
Mrph rmh rmphm?
But the thing is,
eric isn't even fighting it.
It's like he's all sad
and scared.
Good!
He should be sad and scared.
These things
do matter.
And I already feel better
to be at a school
Where we can start
to have a dialogue
And talk about
this stuff.
Mr. Mackey:
Will kyle broflovski
Report to the principal's
office immediately, m'kay?
Kyle broflovski.
Did I say that all right?
Uh, hi.
I'm gerald,
kyle broflovski's father.
Have a seat.
I've been talking
with your child,
And we're gonna be giving him
two weeks detention.
What's this about, kyle?
Your son said some things
to a fourth-grade girl
That, frankly,
make me want to puke.
Now that I'm principal,
I'm not gonna allow anyone
at this school
To be made feel unsafe
and harassed.
Wh-wh-what did he say?
You'll have to excuse
my language.
"I don't think caitlyn jenner
is a hero."
This kind of transphobic
and bigoted hate speech
Isn't gonna fly here, bro!
I thought we were all on board
That caitlyn jenner
is an amazing, beautiful woman
Who had the exquisite bravery
Of a butterfly
flying against the wind.
And then this shit
comes out of people's mouths!
P.C. Principal,
I-I'm sure kyle
Was just referring
to bruce jenner as a person,
And not trying to say
anything against --
You got a fuckin'
problem, bro?
No.
'cause it's not
bruce fucking jenner!
It's caitlyn, and she's
a fucking stunning woman!
Or maybe you're the one
teaching him
To demean women
in the first place.
Huh?! What's up?
What's fuckin' up, bro?!
Look, maybe we can
all just take --
Get the fuck out of here, dude!
I mean, who the hell
does this guy think he is?
Some college kid's gonna come in
and tell us our ways are old?
Yeah.
And you can't bully
our kids like that.
Kyle's already gotten
two weeks of detention.
For what?
Just 'cause he said something
about caitlyn jenner.
Oh. Caitlyn jenner?
She's a hero.
She is stunning
and brave.
Stunning.
She is absolutely beautiful,
and an inspiration.
-Yep.
-Yep, that's right.
What the hell
are you guys talki--
Uh, we got to be careful,
gerald.
This is a college bar.
Somebody here have a problem
with caitlyn jenner?
-No.
-No?
'cause she's a stunning,
beautiful woman,
And if you want to call her
anything else,
I'm ready
to fuckin' throw down.
No, no.
We're totally fine with it.
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
"it"?
Did somebody just refer
to caitlyn jenner as "it"?!
I'm p.C., bro.
I'll throw down.
Sweet!
You're p.C., bro?
Yeah, arizona state.
Sweet, bro.
I'm p.C. Umass.
Fuck yeah!
Sweet, dude.
Sweet!
So, do we have
a fuckin' problem here?
No!
Caitlyn jenner
is the bravest woman in america.
Whee-oo!
Whee-oo! Whee-oo!
Did someone here
just say america
In a way that otherizes
and demeans
The people
of latin and south america?
Nice, dude.
You p.C.?
Yeah, chino hills.
You think venezuelans
aren't americans, brah?!
Yeah, you want to
make fun of me?!
Hey! What seems to be
the problem here, gentlemen?
Who the hell are you?
I'm p.C. Principal.
Oh, nice.
We're all p.C., too.
No way!
There's more p.C. Bros here?
Yeah, dude.
Ohio state.
Sweet, bros!
Texas a&m.
Bro, I had no idea there
were like-minded individuals
In this town
who defended social minorities.
We should all hang out!
We should totally
hang out!
We should all
get a house together
And unite
our tolerant views.
-Fucking do it, dude!
-Fuck yeah!
Fuck yeah!
Whoo!
Well, looks like things
are getting all p.C. Again.
Fuck yeah, bro!
P.C.!
Well, how long do you think
this will last?
Lasted about six years
last time.
We got at least
5.9 years to go.
Uh, hey, cartman.
What's going on?
Aren't you going
to, uh, you know,
Go do something
about this new principal?
I've already got
four days of detention.
I don't want any more.
I'm gonna start
following the rules.
But this isn't you,
cartman!
Yeah, where's the eric cartman
we know?
The eric cartman we know
breaks the rules,
And he gets away with it,
just like his hero.
Come on.
Who's your hero, cartman?
tom brady.
Right.
And what does tom brady do
after breaking the rules?
Deny and subvert.
Yeah!
Yeah, what --
what would tom brady say
If he got caught
shoplifting?
"everybody shoplifts.
Why are you coming down on me?"
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
You're tom brady, cartman.
And that new principal in there
is the football commissioner
Trying to dictate
his punishment to you.
And what happens
when an invulnerable cheater
Comes up against
an elitist corporate dictator?
A perfect storm of hypocrisy
that everyone in the country
Has to deal with
for months on end.
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
You're right, guys.
I'm gonna tom brady this thing.
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
I'm gonna say --
I'm gonna say,
"you're not giving me
four days of detention.
You're only giving me one!"
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
No. No, to hell with that.
You're giving me
no days suspension!
And then I'm gonna go home
and fuck my hot wife,
Who's not even that hot,
and kind of looks like a dude!
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
Thanks, guys.
I almost forgot the lessons
that football has taught us all.
I can get around
these pesky rules.
Butters, I'm going to need
your underwear.
Okay!
Cool.
I think we did it.
Oh, p.C. Principal.
How are you today?
What are you doing
in the faculty bathroom?
You know,
I think you and I
Got off on the wrong foot
the other day.
By all means, please,
keep your dick out.
You see, I'm not going to accept
four days of detention,
And you're going
to apologize publicly
For being so strict to me
and my friends at school.
What the fuck
are you talking about?
It's just a request,
that's all.
See you around.
Oh, you seem to have dropped
something, p.C. Principal.
What's this?
Why, this is a little boy's
underwear.
Why, this is
butters' underwear.
What?
P.C. Principal,
you have butters' underwear?
And now...
Oh, my gosh,
it's got you dna all over it.
This certainly
doesn't look good for you.
I don't need to tell anyone
about this.
No, I think we have
an understanding.
Capiche?
What did you just say?
You mean about keeping
your dick out?
"capiche"?
You're associating
italian-americans
To intimidation tactics?
You better watch
your microaggressions, bro.
O-kay.
Look, you don't
want to end up
Like the spokesman for subway,
do you?
Did you just use a term
That excludes women
from an occupation?!
Okay, let's back up.
Aah!
Did you just say spokesman
instead of spokesperson
When women
are just as capable
Of selling sandwiches
as anyone?!
Are you purposely
trying to use words
That assert
your male privilege?!
No, I'm sorry!
I was just trying to frame you
for raping butters!
Do you think italian-americans
and women are less important?!
Oh, god!
You dare to use words
that alienate
Two communities of people
who have to deal
With verbal biases like yours
on a daily basis?!
Can I speak
with p.C. Principal, please?
Oh, yeah.
We got another one, guys!
All right!
Bring him in, bro!
We're ready!
Whoo!
Wait, what?
Hey, no,
I-I don't...
All the pledges,
take a shot!
P.C. Principal:
All right, pledges.
We're excited
you want to try and be p.C.
We hope
you've got what it takes
To join the most socially active
group in america.
Whooo! Whooo!
Whooo! Whooo!
You know, there's still
some people out there that say,
"what does being p.C.
Really mean?"
Well, I'll tell you
what it means.
It means you love nothing more
than beer, working out,
And that feeling you get
when you rhetorically defend
A marginalized community
from systems of oppression.
-Whoo!
-Yeah, yeah, yeah!
-Dude, let's go!
-Whoo, whoo!
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
-Whoo-hooo!
-Whoo-hooo!
Whooo!
-Whoo-hoo!
-Let's go! Yeah!
You got home pretty late
last night.
6:00 a.M.?
I've joined
a social-awareness group.
It's a coalition that
discourages the use of...Words
That have negative
or offensive connotations
To grant respect
To people who are victims
of unfair stereotypes.
You got in at 6:00,
and now you're missing work.
We've been getting away
with horrible things, sharon.
Having laughs
at less privileged people
And thinking
it was harmless.
Our group is...Trying to be
a civilizing influence,
Where we discuss
and have meetings
To better define
and reinforce tolerance
And acceptance
of all groups of people.
Hm.
And do they have booze
at these meetings?
Uh...
They serve refreshments,
yes.
Cartman?
We can't beat him,
you guys.
P.C. Principal
is too strong.
What do we do now?
There's nothing left to do.
I'm going to admit
I did something wrong,
Take my punishment
and move on.
I'm not tom brady.
Oh, no!
Dude, if we all tell the police
what the principal did,
-He'll be fired.
-Yeah!
-No way.
-Why?
Because p.C. Principal
is right, kyle.
You and I are bigots.
And it's time
for us to grow up.
No, you're a bigot.
If I can face my prejudice,
why can't you?
We're two privileged,
straight white boys
Have their laughs about things
we never had to deal with.
I'm not
going to apologize
For saying caitlyn jenner
isn't a hero.
In fact, personally,
I think she's most likely
not a very good person.
Aah! Aah!
Kyle, believe me,
I know the struggle with hatred.
Let's make ourselves
better people...Together.
Come on, fat-ass.
No more fat shaming, kyle.
Let's start a new chapter.
So you're never gonna call me
a dirty jew again?
No.
I'm going to call you...
My friend.
Oh, fuck you.
I guess we never realized
how bad he really was.
♪♪
P.C. Principal:
All right, pledges, listen up.
Congratulations on making it
to the final cuts.
-Whoo!
-Yeah!
-Dude, let's go!
-Whoo-hoo!
Now it's time
for the final test.
So, what you're gonna have to do
to prove you belong with p.C.
Is go out there
and check someone's privilege.
Finally!
Yes!
I'm sorry,
I don't know what that is.
Tofer, can you explain
check your privilege, please?
It's getting someone
to acknowledge
Their own
inherent privileges,
And reminding them
to put them aside
In order to better understand
another human's plight.
You see,
there's still people out there
Like brett fuckin' favre,
Who think
that when we all stand up
And applaud caitlyn jenner
at the espy awards,
He can get away with
one of these bullshit claps.
It's called clapping, favre!
What the fuck are you doing?
You washing your hands?
You're either on board
or you're not, bro.
Now, if he's gonna bring shame
on someone,
Then he can have
his privilege checked,
And have a little shame
brought down on him!
You want me to shame
brett favre?
No.
'cause there's somebody
even worse now.
Aah! What the fuck, dude?!
What the fuck?
I may be down, but I'm not out.
Tom brady's never out.
you broke the rules!
Fuck you, I broke the rules.
You're breaking the rules.
Fuck you.
You broke the rules.
You broke the rules how you
found out I broke the rules.
yeah, you broke the rules!
I'm the commissioner. I can
break the rules 'cause you guys
Broke the rules before
but I didn't bust you enough.
Just 'cause you didn't
bust us enough
For breaking the rules,
that doesn't mean
You can break the rules
busting us now.
Fuck both you guys.
I can do whatever I want.
I'm breaking the rules.
Fuck you, I'm tom brady!
Fuck you,
I'm the commissioner.
I'll make up new rules.
Fuck your rules!
Fuck you guys,
always fucking rules.
I'll fuck all the rules!
Rules, rules...
Aah! Butters!
I'm here, eric.
Oh, butters.
I've lived
such a horrible life,
Always doing
whatever I want
And claiming it
to be for integrity.
Butters?
Yes, eric?
I'm never going back
to the person I was.
I swear to god.
From now on,
the world is going to know
A new and better
eric cartman.
Will you please tell your dad
to leave me alone?
Dude, what happened?
Your dad was on my lawn
yelling at me all night,
And after I finally
fell asleep,
I woke up saran-wrapped
to a tree
With penises
on my face.
And this.
Hang on.
Dad, did you draw dicks
on my friend's face?
Did I check his privilege?
Yes.
I had some refreshments,
And I checked
your friend's privilege.
That's my best friend, dad.
Stop shaming him
because you want to fit in.
Stan, straight white males
in a capitalistic society
Have little...Understanding
of victimization
Compared to injustices...
Against underprivileged.
Dicks on your face
is a very first-world problem.
oh, shit!
Look, kyle,
maybe you should just say
Caitlyn jenner
is a hero.
I didn't even say
she wasn't a hero!
I just said
she isn't a hero to me!
I didn't like bruce jenner
as a person
When he was
on the kardashians,
And I don't suddenly
like him now.
P.C. Frat boy:
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Her.
Her! Yes!
Oh, it's no use, butters.
I want to get out there
And start making
positive changes,
But I can barely even walk.
How is everybody doing?
Well, they're fine.
Everyone's just kind of keeping
their mouths shut.
It's kind of nice.
So the p.C. Guys
are leaving people alone.
Well, except for...
Who?
Well -- well, now they've made
kyle their main target.
♪♪
Kyle?
My friend kyle?
Eric,
what are you doing?
I don't have a choice.
I have to take
these p.C. People out.
Oh, but I thought
you agreed with them.
I do,
but I have to help kyle
Even if I don't agree with
his hateful, bigoted thoughts.
Kyle's view
may be warped.
I personally think
caitlyn jenner's
a stunning hero.
But that doesn't mean
I'll stand by
While kyle's intolerance
is dealt with violently.
We're going to war with these
p.C. People once and for all.
Butters, I'm going to need
200 pregnant mexican women
And some taco launchers.
Well, okay!
social justice!
One, two, three! Whoo, whoo!
I wanna be p.C.!
Whoo, whoo!
It's just the way to be for me!
And you!
Whoo, whoo!
Your hateful slurs are through!
Whoo, whoo!
I call whoo, whoo
on you!
Whoo, whoo! We'll fight until
you're p.C. Black and blue!
Whoo, whoo!
We are language police
fighting bigotry!
Hurtful words
can suck our turds,
'cause it's p.C. For me!
-And you!
-Whoo, whoo!
-Yeah!
-Fuck yeah, bro!
-Fuck yeah!
-Fuck yeah! P.C., bro!
All right.
Send in the pregnant
mexican women.
Oh, oh! Oh!
The fuck, bro!
Fire the taco launchers!
Syrian refugee children,
flank from the left!
Dude, what is this, bro?
I don't know, bro!
The syrian refugee children
are in.
Send in jared!
What in the world
is going on?
All right, good.
The pregnant mexican women
are falling asleep on the tacos.
Jared needs backup.
Send in the chinese drivers.
Aaah!
Alright, the syrian refugees are
trying to protect their
children.
Oh, fuck, there's kyle.
What the fuck
are you doing, kyle?
Enough!
Stop!
Everyone stop!
This is so wrong!
I can't let it continue.
This is not ever
what I intended.
I just want to say...
Caitlyn jenner is a hero.
There's no other way to say it.
What she did took bravery,
and she is absolutely stunning.
Whoo-hoo!
Ow, hot!
Hot, hot, hot, hot!
Ahh.
Got to hand it to you,
marsh.
You really checked
that little boy's privilege.
Using those syrian refugees
was genius, bro.
Yeah. I would've never thought
to use offensive imagery
And outrageous
stereotypes
To provoke someone
to open their eyes.
So, I'm p.C. Now?
You're not only p.C.,
you've actually changed my p.C.
Congrats.
Here's your oakleys.
Oh, wow, oakleys!
Oh, yeah, bro.
These are sweet.
So, I guess p.C. Principal
is here to stay, huh?
Yes.
But at least
we showed him
That sometimes joking
about un-p.C. Things
Can actually
be important
Because it starts
a dialogue.
What's wrong, kyle?
You have your cake.
Eat it, too.
It just seems to me
like we all lost in this,
And that the only person
who won was you.
Hmm...
And who does that
remind you of, kyle?
Now, if you don't mind,
I'm gonna go home
and fuck my hot wife.
Who kind of looks
like a dude.
Cartman: ♪ da, da-da, da, da,
da-da, da, da, da ♪
♪ da, da-da, da, da,
da-da, da-da, da, da! ♪
one, two, three! Whoo, whoo!
I wanna be p.C.!
Whoo, whoo!
It's just the way to be for me!
And you!
Whoo, whoo!
Your hateful slurs are through!
Whoo, whoo!
I call whoo, whoo
on you!
Whoo, whoo! We'll fight until
you're p.C. Black and blue!
Whoo, whoo!