South Park (1997–…): Season 18, Episode 5 - The Magic Bush - full transcript
Cartman and Butters obtain a drone and take it for a spin around the neighborhood.
I'm goin' down to South Park
Gonna have myself a time
Friendly faces everywhere
Humble folks
without temptation
I'm goin' down to South Park
Gonna leave my woes behind
Ample parking day or night
People spouting
howdy neighbor
Headin' on up to South Park
Gonna see if I can't unwind
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine
Loo, loo, loo, loo, loo,
loo, loo
Loo, loo, loo, loo, loo
Hey, douche bag.
Are you doing anything cool?
Hey, Eric.
I'm just looking at a video
of bird eggs that I took.
Oh, God damn it.
Nobody's doing anything cool.
I'm so bored.
Everything is so stupid.
I don't know.
This bird nest is pretty neat-o.
No, it isn't.
My dad and I shot it yesterday
at the lake.
That's stupid.
You can see the mama bird
fly in.
I'm dying of boredom.
We took all kinds of videos
with his drone.
What did you say?!
You know,
those drone thingies.
You can make it fly anywhere
and shoot video and stuff.
Your dad has a fucking drone?!
Whoa!
It can fly
like a quarter mile away
from whoever's controlling it.
And it can take video the entire
time right to your phone.
Don't touch the propellers.
You want to take it out
for a spin?
Are you crazy?
This is my dad's drone.
Do you have any idea
how much fun
we could have with this thing?
We can spy on everyone.
My dad says it's not for spying
on people.
Butters,
that's all drones are for.
If we use it
for a couple minutes tonight,
your dad will never know.
Oh, he'll know.
You can hear it take off.
Okay. Good idea.
We'll take it over to my house.
Come over after dark.
And don't tell anyone.
- No, Eric. I don't want to...
- Butters!
Oh, shit, it's your dad.
Go, go, go!
I'll see you later
at my house.
Butters, are you home?
Coming, Dad!
- Butters, is that you?
- Yeah, it's me.
Nobody followed you, right?
You didn't tell anybody?
- Of course not!
- All right. Come in.
Kenny's here.
I told him all about it.
What?!
You said nobody would know!
It's just Kenny.
Like we're not gonna tell Kenny
we have a fucking drone.
Come on, Butters.
All right. Come on, guys.
I think I have this thing
figured out.
Dude, no way!
This thing is so epic.
Be careful
of the power lines!
Dude, look!
There's everyone's backyards!
Dude, there's Craig's house.
- That's Craig's house.
- Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Okay, uh, maybe that's enough.
Oh, dude, look.
There's Craig.
Craig's mom is taking off
her clothes.
- Mrph rmhmhm!
- Let me see!
Check it out, you guys.
She's taking off...
Oh, my God.
We've got full bush.
Mrph rmhmhm!
Geez!
- This thing is recording, right?
- Rm!
Dude, that is Craig's mom's bush
right there.
Wait.
Wait, what's that?
Oh, shit, dude.
Bail, bail!
What do I do?!
- His dad sees you!
- I don't know what to do!
Fly back to the house,
stupid!
You got a problem, Stotch?
What are you talking about?
You know
what I'm talking about.
There was a drone
spying on my wife,
and you're the only person
I know with a drone.
Now, hold on.
I am a drone-hobby enthusiast.
I would never use my drone
in a way
that contradicts the
drone-hobbyist code of conduct.
Horse shit! Your drone's out
there flying around right now.
I assure you my drone
is sitting in the garage.
I'll show you.
There. You see?
It's right there.
So... So you flew it
back here in time.
I swear I didn't fly it.
Well, these things don't just
fly themselves, do they?
They ought to be illegal.
I better not find out
it was your drone!
Butters?
Oh. H-Hey, Dad.
Butters,
did you hear the drone
making any sounds
in the garage?
Uh, oh, no, Dad.
I've just been sleeping.
Why do you ask?
Nothing, son.
It's nothing.
Get back to sleep, pal.
Love you.
Love you, too, Dad.
All right, all right.
Shh. Kenny.
Here come Stan and Kyle.
Remember... Not a word
about this to anyone.
- Mrph rmhmhm rm.
- Not a word, Kenny.
Mrph rm!
Yeah, but, seriously,
it's like there's no real thing
to grab onto, you know?
Yeah, I don't even know
if I'm gonna watch it anymore.
I know.
- Hey, guys.
- 'Sup?
Ehh...
Ehhhh...
You guys want to see
Craig's mom's bush?!
Rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
What?
Somebody, I guess,
was spying on Craig's mom,
and they got pictures
of her bush,
and it's like...
it's like a yeti.
You guys want
to check it out?
- Rm!
- That's horrible.
If that's true,
I don't want to see it.
You don't want to see
Craig's mom's bush?
Not if somebody took pictures
without her knowing.
Let me see.
Locked and loaded.
Full metal bush, bro.
How did you get that
on your phone?
Oh, um, uh...
Kenny? Um...
Oh, it's on the Internet.
Yeah, I just downloaded it
off the Internet.
Nobody knows who took it.
Huh, Kenny?
- Rm-rmh.
- That's terrible.
I know, right?
Now everyone's gonna see it.
Hey, Craig.
Have you checked out
the Internet lately?
What are you
talking about?
Ohh, nothing.
It's just that you might want to
invest in some hedge clippers.
- For what?
- Ohh, nothing.
You just might want to
hire Tarzan to do some
landscaping work for your mom.
What the heck
are you doing?!
Whoa, Butters.
Chillax, bro.
Why did you put Craig's mom's
bush on the Internet?!
Butters...
You promised me we wouldn't
get into trouble!
Now everyone is gonna know
what we were doing!
Butters, I had to, okay?
I had to put it
on the Internet.
Why?!
Because Stan saw the video
on my phone, all right?
If the video is only on my
phone, then clearly we did it.
If we downloaded it
off the Internet,
then anyone
could have done it.
I should have never
listened to you.
I should have known
this would get out of hand.
Butters, don't start playing
the blame game here, okay?
You and Kenny
are just as responsible.
And the next time
you want to shove me,
just remember
I'm covering your ass.
Hi, everyone.
For those of you
I don't know as well,
my name is Roger Donovan,
and, uh,
just like you, I'm pretty upset
about what's going on
in our neighborhood.
How are these drones legal?
My wife didn't deserve
to be splayed all over
the Internet like that.
Yes, well, luckily,
nobody's watched the video,
of course.
But the fact is
that these drones
are only getting more popular.
I mean, anyone can get a drone
off Amazon for 200 bucks,
and there's no laws
and the whole thing
is pretty damn hairy.
Oh. Oh.
God, I'm sorry, Laura.
You know I meant the situation
is pretty hairy, right?
Nothing to do
with you personally.
I mean, how would I even know?
I didn't see it.
Um...
Look, we're all here
because what happened to Laura
could happen to any of us.
There's nobody regulating
these drones,
and if we don't do
something now,
we're gonna be up to our navels
with bush.
Oh! Uh, up to our necks
in trouble.
Sorry!
You know, it used to be
called "natural."
Completely shaving bald
down there
used to be the weird thing.
It's okay, honey.
But now, because I choose
not to let society
dictate how hairy my vagina
should be...
Ew.
...I'm labeled as some kind
of freaking monster.
A-A-And that's the point.
I mean, we all have things
about ourselves
that are embarrassing
that... that...
I'm not embarrassed about it!
It's natural!
It's a lot of natural.
Look, look, why we're here
is because it's gonna take
all of us...
a neighborhood watch...
to make sure that our community
stays safe.
Yeah, but how can we keep
that close a watch
on the whole neighborhood?
It's simple.
Oh, yeah.
This is gonna work great.
Are you happy now?
What?
Is... Is this...
You think this is cool?
What does that
have to do with me?
See, when you start invading
people's privacy,
thinking it's harmless
to put up pictures of them
they didn't want up, Kenny,
you start a domino effect
that eventually screws
everything up for everybody.
Kenny has no idea what
you're talking about, dude.
I was in the bathroom
when you were talking
to Butters, Cartman.
- I know you...
- You were what?
- I was in the bathroom...
- You were spying on me?!
No. I was taking a crap,
and I heard you guys talking.
But you didn't say anything?
That's fucking spying, Kyle!
How is that spying?!
You were listening but we didn't
know you were there?
How is that not spying?!
You're a dick!
You're a spying dick!
And now you want to lecture
Kenny about spying?!
Fuck you, hypocrite dick spy.
Hello.
Can I help you?
Yes.
I'd like to return this drone.
You want to return it?
Yes, I'm...
I'm not into the hobby anymore.
The hobby of flying drones
is new and exciting.
How can you not be into it?
Look, something's wrong
with it.
It does things.
It flies by itself.
Uh, no.
Somebody has to control it.
You don't understand.
It was in the garage,
and the battery
was fully charged.
Someone said they'd seen it
flying around, so I checked.
The battery was half empty.
I'm sorry,
but we don't do returns.
Please, I just want another
hobby to get enthused about.
Sir, did you try looking
at the SD card?
All the video gets recorded
to that,
so you could probably determine
who flew it.
You think I didn't try that?
I pulled out the SD card.
It was all erased.
Somehow it erased everything!
Uh, sir, did you consider
that your son
might have done that?
No. It's impossible.
He's not allowed to fly it
without my supervision.
Oh, for God's sakes!
God damn it!
Get the hell out of here!
That does it!
You people
have to do something.
You're the law, and these things
need to be illegal.
But they aren't illegal,
Mr. Tucker.
Our privacy was invaded,
and now there are kids at school
making music videos
with the footage of my wife.
Have you seen
what they're doing?!
No, no. None of us
watched the video.
But if we did,
we could handle it.
We're police officers.
We see sickening things
like that every day.
We understand the humiliation
your wife has gone through,
Mr. Tucker, but we don't...
I haven't been "humiliated."
I've been wronged.
We are here
to ask for your help.
Now are you gonna
help us or not?
Well, that'd probably
be best left
to a professional
hair-removal company.
Or perhaps a forest ranger.
Help us with the drones
spying on us!
AII right, all right.
We'll do everything we can.
Are you out of your mind?!
- What are you doing?!
- Butters...
Why would you turn
Craig's mom's bush
into a music video
starring us?!
Because, Butters...
Why can't you leave it alone?
Why can't you just stop?!
Because, Butters,
Kyle was spying on us, okay?
Kyle was spying on us,
and he knows
that we put the video
of Craig's mom
on the Internet.
He found out everything.
That's why I had
to make another video.
Why?!
Because when Kyle says he heard
us say we made the video,
we can say we were talking
about this video.
"Oh, thank you, Eric.
That's pretty smart.
I really owe you one."
That poor lady.
Her vagina is everywhere.
Poor Craig.
Butters, we live in a world
where privacy is gone, okay?
It's... It's just gone, bud.
Your wiener, my balls...
They're public domain.
You can get on the Internet
right now
and look at that chick from
"Hunger Games"' butt-hole.
We can either all freak out
about it,
or we can just calm down
because, honestly,
I'm getting a little sick
of covering your ass.
Gerald's watching
"Housewives of Atlanta."
You're supposed to be keeping
watch on the neighborhood.
I am.
Let's see what Nelson's doing.
Oh, shit!
Dude, neighborhood watch!
I'm neighborhood watch!
I've been shot!
No! No!
Shock and outrage
all over the state tonight
after an on-duty police drone
chased and shot down
an unarmed civilian drone.
And worst of all, yes,
the civilian drone was black.
What gives them the right
to shoot down our drones?!
I wasn't doing anything wrong!
This is a complete outrage
to drone owners everywhere!
It was about yea big.
I mean, the hair on it
was out to here,
and then it had another trail of
hair down from her belly button.
I mean the... the drone.
Yeah, that's what I saw.
That... That's all I saw.
While police claim
they were only following
standard protocol,
the drone owners
are banding together
and holding a candlelight vigil.
Please disperse.
Candles on top of drones
are a fire hazard.
Return to your garages.
What the hell are
these police drones doing?
We can't protest now?
Just hover, honey.
They can't do anything
if we're just hovering.
Randy, we need to talk.
Okay.
Inside!
I've been going over it
and over it in my head.
I thought Butters and I
were alone,
but then I saw you
on the news.
Another drone-hobby enthusiast
whose drone was blamed
for something
the enthusiast
didn't recall doing.
Randy, this is very important.
Is it possible
that you did something
contrary to the proper
code of conduct
for drone-flying
enthusiasts?
No. I didn't.
I thought
it was just my drone.
But I think
it might be all of them.
What might be?
Once you eliminate
the impossible,
whatever remains,
no matter how improbable,
must be the truth.
Our drone flew.
The battery was drained.
The SD card was erased.
Butters was the only other
person who had access to it.
Butters can't use the drone
without my supervision.
So where does that leave us,
Randy?
Drones are spooky?
If they have minds of their own,
they're more than spooky.
I don't know about you,
but I'm starting to feel pretty
unenthused about this hobby.
The town of South Park has
become a hotbed of tension
with civilians lashing out
at police.
After police used excessive
force at a peaceful protest,
the town has now broken out
into full-scale riots.
As the people of South Park
continue to protest,
the South Park Police
are now ordering
a mandatory reverse curfew.
The governor has asked for help
from the National Guard
to bring order to the town.
Tonight on an all-new "20/20,"
a town in crisis
over the matter of privacy.
Now, for the first time,
we sit down and talk to the mom
behind the bush.
You've become
sort of a poster child
for privacy and drone issues.
I don't think anyone
wants to live in a world
where police drones
are monitoring
neighborhood-watch drones.
I mean, where does it stop?
It just keeps going on and on,
kind of like your...
I mean,
it just goes outside
what most people
would call acceptable.
Have you ever seen pictures
of naked women before 2005?
- It's not that weird.
- It's okay, honey.
I didn't see the video.
I don't believe in doing that.
But, uh, I'm just saying
that this situation
in your town is u-unwieldy?
Please do not adjust
your televisions.
What is that?
My name is
Stephen Willis Stotch.
The drone that took the video
of Craig's mom was my drone.
I didn't want to believe it,
but they do things
without us knowing.
At this point,
I have completely lost
all enthusiasm for the hobby.
All of you with drones,
please listen to me.
Three days ago,
my drone recorded a video
that something uploaded
to the Internet.
We all were told
to respectfully
not watch the video.
But on the page,
it has over 300 million views.
So if none of us watched it,
who did?
We have to find a way
to get rid of them
before they get rid of us.
Oh, hey, Butters.
'Sup?
Do you remember
when I showed you the video
of the little bird eggs?
That's the last time
I felt happy.
Dude, what's the matter?
I have to tell the truth.
I want you and Kenny
to come with me
and tell Craig's mom we're sorry
and that we'll...
Okay, okay, okay. Come inside.
There's drones out here.
I don't want any more
discussions, Eric.
I don't want
any more excuses.
- Butters...
- I just want to end this
so we can take our punishment
and be done with it.
Butters, Butters...
I don't want all
these drones everywhere!
- Nobody does!
- Butters!
All right, all right, Butters.
Fine!
I have a way that we can
get rid of all the drones.
You do?
Yes.
Everyone's sick of it.
It's just that
everyone's waiting
for everyone else to stop.
We can put an end
to it all tonight.
We're just gonna need
one thing.
- What?
- Your dad's drone.
- No! There is no way...
- Butters, Butters, Butters!
Jennifer Lawrence's butt-hole
didn't take a picture of itself.
It started with her, right?
Just like this started with you
spying on birds.
Now, I'm willing to
bail you out of all this,
but I swear
it's the last time, okay?!
Okay.
Time to end this hobby
once and for all.
No.
No!
AII right.
We've got power.
Prepare for takeoff.
If this doesn't work,
we're dead.
It'll work, Butters.
If there's one thing
we've learned,
it's that drones can't resist
Craig's mom.
We are here tonight
to pay tribute to a woman
who overcame humiliation,
who rose above the monsters
invading her privacy
and said, "No more!"
Just when it seemed that we were
about to live in a world
controlled by drones,
she did something miraculous.
And someday
our children's children
will still be telling stories
about how Craig's mom
flew through the town
and led all the drones away.
Have you heard the tale
of Craig's mom's bush
And the night that it saved us
from drones?
Nobody knew the power it had
They just thought
it was shaggy and gross
Craig's mom lived a life
of shame and despair
Everyone feared
her great giant bush
They didn't.
But then when drones
were filling the sky
She unfurled her bush
and she used it to fly
Craig's mom's bush,
Craig's mom's bush
Gargantuan thicket
of madness
Bigger than Earth
and denser than gold
Truly a magical bush
to behold
Well, you see, Butters?
Everything worked out.
"Oh, thank you, Eric.
I screwed up everything,
but now everyone's happy.
Thanks for
covering my ass."
Craig's mom
doesn't seem very happy.
All right.
I have a way that we can make
Craig's mom happy.
No! No, no! I'm sorry.
Thank you, Eric.
I screwed up everything,
but now everyone's happy.
- Thanks for covering my ass.
- You're welcome.
And she flew and she flew away
into the sun
And then she di-i-i-ed
Craig's mom's bush,
Craig's mom's bush
Truly a magical bush
to behold
Gonna have myself a time
Friendly faces everywhere
Humble folks
without temptation
I'm goin' down to South Park
Gonna leave my woes behind
Ample parking day or night
People spouting
howdy neighbor
Headin' on up to South Park
Gonna see if I can't unwind
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine
Loo, loo, loo, loo, loo,
loo, loo
Loo, loo, loo, loo, loo
Hey, douche bag.
Are you doing anything cool?
Hey, Eric.
I'm just looking at a video
of bird eggs that I took.
Oh, God damn it.
Nobody's doing anything cool.
I'm so bored.
Everything is so stupid.
I don't know.
This bird nest is pretty neat-o.
No, it isn't.
My dad and I shot it yesterday
at the lake.
That's stupid.
You can see the mama bird
fly in.
I'm dying of boredom.
We took all kinds of videos
with his drone.
What did you say?!
You know,
those drone thingies.
You can make it fly anywhere
and shoot video and stuff.
Your dad has a fucking drone?!
Whoa!
It can fly
like a quarter mile away
from whoever's controlling it.
And it can take video the entire
time right to your phone.
Don't touch the propellers.
You want to take it out
for a spin?
Are you crazy?
This is my dad's drone.
Do you have any idea
how much fun
we could have with this thing?
We can spy on everyone.
My dad says it's not for spying
on people.
Butters,
that's all drones are for.
If we use it
for a couple minutes tonight,
your dad will never know.
Oh, he'll know.
You can hear it take off.
Okay. Good idea.
We'll take it over to my house.
Come over after dark.
And don't tell anyone.
- No, Eric. I don't want to...
- Butters!
Oh, shit, it's your dad.
Go, go, go!
I'll see you later
at my house.
Butters, are you home?
Coming, Dad!
- Butters, is that you?
- Yeah, it's me.
Nobody followed you, right?
You didn't tell anybody?
- Of course not!
- All right. Come in.
Kenny's here.
I told him all about it.
What?!
You said nobody would know!
It's just Kenny.
Like we're not gonna tell Kenny
we have a fucking drone.
Come on, Butters.
All right. Come on, guys.
I think I have this thing
figured out.
Dude, no way!
This thing is so epic.
Be careful
of the power lines!
Dude, look!
There's everyone's backyards!
Dude, there's Craig's house.
- That's Craig's house.
- Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Okay, uh, maybe that's enough.
Oh, dude, look.
There's Craig.
Craig's mom is taking off
her clothes.
- Mrph rmhmhm!
- Let me see!
Check it out, you guys.
She's taking off...
Oh, my God.
We've got full bush.
Mrph rmhmhm!
Geez!
- This thing is recording, right?
- Rm!
Dude, that is Craig's mom's bush
right there.
Wait.
Wait, what's that?
Oh, shit, dude.
Bail, bail!
What do I do?!
- His dad sees you!
- I don't know what to do!
Fly back to the house,
stupid!
You got a problem, Stotch?
What are you talking about?
You know
what I'm talking about.
There was a drone
spying on my wife,
and you're the only person
I know with a drone.
Now, hold on.
I am a drone-hobby enthusiast.
I would never use my drone
in a way
that contradicts the
drone-hobbyist code of conduct.
Horse shit! Your drone's out
there flying around right now.
I assure you my drone
is sitting in the garage.
I'll show you.
There. You see?
It's right there.
So... So you flew it
back here in time.
I swear I didn't fly it.
Well, these things don't just
fly themselves, do they?
They ought to be illegal.
I better not find out
it was your drone!
Butters?
Oh. H-Hey, Dad.
Butters,
did you hear the drone
making any sounds
in the garage?
Uh, oh, no, Dad.
I've just been sleeping.
Why do you ask?
Nothing, son.
It's nothing.
Get back to sleep, pal.
Love you.
Love you, too, Dad.
All right, all right.
Shh. Kenny.
Here come Stan and Kyle.
Remember... Not a word
about this to anyone.
- Mrph rmhmhm rm.
- Not a word, Kenny.
Mrph rm!
Yeah, but, seriously,
it's like there's no real thing
to grab onto, you know?
Yeah, I don't even know
if I'm gonna watch it anymore.
I know.
- Hey, guys.
- 'Sup?
Ehh...
Ehhhh...
You guys want to see
Craig's mom's bush?!
Rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
What?
Somebody, I guess,
was spying on Craig's mom,
and they got pictures
of her bush,
and it's like...
it's like a yeti.
You guys want
to check it out?
- Rm!
- That's horrible.
If that's true,
I don't want to see it.
You don't want to see
Craig's mom's bush?
Not if somebody took pictures
without her knowing.
Let me see.
Locked and loaded.
Full metal bush, bro.
How did you get that
on your phone?
Oh, um, uh...
Kenny? Um...
Oh, it's on the Internet.
Yeah, I just downloaded it
off the Internet.
Nobody knows who took it.
Huh, Kenny?
- Rm-rmh.
- That's terrible.
I know, right?
Now everyone's gonna see it.
Hey, Craig.
Have you checked out
the Internet lately?
What are you
talking about?
Ohh, nothing.
It's just that you might want to
invest in some hedge clippers.
- For what?
- Ohh, nothing.
You just might want to
hire Tarzan to do some
landscaping work for your mom.
What the heck
are you doing?!
Whoa, Butters.
Chillax, bro.
Why did you put Craig's mom's
bush on the Internet?!
Butters...
You promised me we wouldn't
get into trouble!
Now everyone is gonna know
what we were doing!
Butters, I had to, okay?
I had to put it
on the Internet.
Why?!
Because Stan saw the video
on my phone, all right?
If the video is only on my
phone, then clearly we did it.
If we downloaded it
off the Internet,
then anyone
could have done it.
I should have never
listened to you.
I should have known
this would get out of hand.
Butters, don't start playing
the blame game here, okay?
You and Kenny
are just as responsible.
And the next time
you want to shove me,
just remember
I'm covering your ass.
Hi, everyone.
For those of you
I don't know as well,
my name is Roger Donovan,
and, uh,
just like you, I'm pretty upset
about what's going on
in our neighborhood.
How are these drones legal?
My wife didn't deserve
to be splayed all over
the Internet like that.
Yes, well, luckily,
nobody's watched the video,
of course.
But the fact is
that these drones
are only getting more popular.
I mean, anyone can get a drone
off Amazon for 200 bucks,
and there's no laws
and the whole thing
is pretty damn hairy.
Oh. Oh.
God, I'm sorry, Laura.
You know I meant the situation
is pretty hairy, right?
Nothing to do
with you personally.
I mean, how would I even know?
I didn't see it.
Um...
Look, we're all here
because what happened to Laura
could happen to any of us.
There's nobody regulating
these drones,
and if we don't do
something now,
we're gonna be up to our navels
with bush.
Oh! Uh, up to our necks
in trouble.
Sorry!
You know, it used to be
called "natural."
Completely shaving bald
down there
used to be the weird thing.
It's okay, honey.
But now, because I choose
not to let society
dictate how hairy my vagina
should be...
Ew.
...I'm labeled as some kind
of freaking monster.
A-A-And that's the point.
I mean, we all have things
about ourselves
that are embarrassing
that... that...
I'm not embarrassed about it!
It's natural!
It's a lot of natural.
Look, look, why we're here
is because it's gonna take
all of us...
a neighborhood watch...
to make sure that our community
stays safe.
Yeah, but how can we keep
that close a watch
on the whole neighborhood?
It's simple.
Oh, yeah.
This is gonna work great.
Are you happy now?
What?
Is... Is this...
You think this is cool?
What does that
have to do with me?
See, when you start invading
people's privacy,
thinking it's harmless
to put up pictures of them
they didn't want up, Kenny,
you start a domino effect
that eventually screws
everything up for everybody.
Kenny has no idea what
you're talking about, dude.
I was in the bathroom
when you were talking
to Butters, Cartman.
- I know you...
- You were what?
- I was in the bathroom...
- You were spying on me?!
No. I was taking a crap,
and I heard you guys talking.
But you didn't say anything?
That's fucking spying, Kyle!
How is that spying?!
You were listening but we didn't
know you were there?
How is that not spying?!
You're a dick!
You're a spying dick!
And now you want to lecture
Kenny about spying?!
Fuck you, hypocrite dick spy.
Hello.
Can I help you?
Yes.
I'd like to return this drone.
You want to return it?
Yes, I'm...
I'm not into the hobby anymore.
The hobby of flying drones
is new and exciting.
How can you not be into it?
Look, something's wrong
with it.
It does things.
It flies by itself.
Uh, no.
Somebody has to control it.
You don't understand.
It was in the garage,
and the battery
was fully charged.
Someone said they'd seen it
flying around, so I checked.
The battery was half empty.
I'm sorry,
but we don't do returns.
Please, I just want another
hobby to get enthused about.
Sir, did you try looking
at the SD card?
All the video gets recorded
to that,
so you could probably determine
who flew it.
You think I didn't try that?
I pulled out the SD card.
It was all erased.
Somehow it erased everything!
Uh, sir, did you consider
that your son
might have done that?
No. It's impossible.
He's not allowed to fly it
without my supervision.
Oh, for God's sakes!
God damn it!
Get the hell out of here!
That does it!
You people
have to do something.
You're the law, and these things
need to be illegal.
But they aren't illegal,
Mr. Tucker.
Our privacy was invaded,
and now there are kids at school
making music videos
with the footage of my wife.
Have you seen
what they're doing?!
No, no. None of us
watched the video.
But if we did,
we could handle it.
We're police officers.
We see sickening things
like that every day.
We understand the humiliation
your wife has gone through,
Mr. Tucker, but we don't...
I haven't been "humiliated."
I've been wronged.
We are here
to ask for your help.
Now are you gonna
help us or not?
Well, that'd probably
be best left
to a professional
hair-removal company.
Or perhaps a forest ranger.
Help us with the drones
spying on us!
AII right, all right.
We'll do everything we can.
Are you out of your mind?!
- What are you doing?!
- Butters...
Why would you turn
Craig's mom's bush
into a music video
starring us?!
Because, Butters...
Why can't you leave it alone?
Why can't you just stop?!
Because, Butters,
Kyle was spying on us, okay?
Kyle was spying on us,
and he knows
that we put the video
of Craig's mom
on the Internet.
He found out everything.
That's why I had
to make another video.
Why?!
Because when Kyle says he heard
us say we made the video,
we can say we were talking
about this video.
"Oh, thank you, Eric.
That's pretty smart.
I really owe you one."
That poor lady.
Her vagina is everywhere.
Poor Craig.
Butters, we live in a world
where privacy is gone, okay?
It's... It's just gone, bud.
Your wiener, my balls...
They're public domain.
You can get on the Internet
right now
and look at that chick from
"Hunger Games"' butt-hole.
We can either all freak out
about it,
or we can just calm down
because, honestly,
I'm getting a little sick
of covering your ass.
Gerald's watching
"Housewives of Atlanta."
You're supposed to be keeping
watch on the neighborhood.
I am.
Let's see what Nelson's doing.
Oh, shit!
Dude, neighborhood watch!
I'm neighborhood watch!
I've been shot!
No! No!
Shock and outrage
all over the state tonight
after an on-duty police drone
chased and shot down
an unarmed civilian drone.
And worst of all, yes,
the civilian drone was black.
What gives them the right
to shoot down our drones?!
I wasn't doing anything wrong!
This is a complete outrage
to drone owners everywhere!
It was about yea big.
I mean, the hair on it
was out to here,
and then it had another trail of
hair down from her belly button.
I mean the... the drone.
Yeah, that's what I saw.
That... That's all I saw.
While police claim
they were only following
standard protocol,
the drone owners
are banding together
and holding a candlelight vigil.
Please disperse.
Candles on top of drones
are a fire hazard.
Return to your garages.
What the hell are
these police drones doing?
We can't protest now?
Just hover, honey.
They can't do anything
if we're just hovering.
Randy, we need to talk.
Okay.
Inside!
I've been going over it
and over it in my head.
I thought Butters and I
were alone,
but then I saw you
on the news.
Another drone-hobby enthusiast
whose drone was blamed
for something
the enthusiast
didn't recall doing.
Randy, this is very important.
Is it possible
that you did something
contrary to the proper
code of conduct
for drone-flying
enthusiasts?
No. I didn't.
I thought
it was just my drone.
But I think
it might be all of them.
What might be?
Once you eliminate
the impossible,
whatever remains,
no matter how improbable,
must be the truth.
Our drone flew.
The battery was drained.
The SD card was erased.
Butters was the only other
person who had access to it.
Butters can't use the drone
without my supervision.
So where does that leave us,
Randy?
Drones are spooky?
If they have minds of their own,
they're more than spooky.
I don't know about you,
but I'm starting to feel pretty
unenthused about this hobby.
The town of South Park has
become a hotbed of tension
with civilians lashing out
at police.
After police used excessive
force at a peaceful protest,
the town has now broken out
into full-scale riots.
As the people of South Park
continue to protest,
the South Park Police
are now ordering
a mandatory reverse curfew.
The governor has asked for help
from the National Guard
to bring order to the town.
Tonight on an all-new "20/20,"
a town in crisis
over the matter of privacy.
Now, for the first time,
we sit down and talk to the mom
behind the bush.
You've become
sort of a poster child
for privacy and drone issues.
I don't think anyone
wants to live in a world
where police drones
are monitoring
neighborhood-watch drones.
I mean, where does it stop?
It just keeps going on and on,
kind of like your...
I mean,
it just goes outside
what most people
would call acceptable.
Have you ever seen pictures
of naked women before 2005?
- It's not that weird.
- It's okay, honey.
I didn't see the video.
I don't believe in doing that.
But, uh, I'm just saying
that this situation
in your town is u-unwieldy?
Please do not adjust
your televisions.
What is that?
My name is
Stephen Willis Stotch.
The drone that took the video
of Craig's mom was my drone.
I didn't want to believe it,
but they do things
without us knowing.
At this point,
I have completely lost
all enthusiasm for the hobby.
All of you with drones,
please listen to me.
Three days ago,
my drone recorded a video
that something uploaded
to the Internet.
We all were told
to respectfully
not watch the video.
But on the page,
it has over 300 million views.
So if none of us watched it,
who did?
We have to find a way
to get rid of them
before they get rid of us.
Oh, hey, Butters.
'Sup?
Do you remember
when I showed you the video
of the little bird eggs?
That's the last time
I felt happy.
Dude, what's the matter?
I have to tell the truth.
I want you and Kenny
to come with me
and tell Craig's mom we're sorry
and that we'll...
Okay, okay, okay. Come inside.
There's drones out here.
I don't want any more
discussions, Eric.
I don't want
any more excuses.
- Butters...
- I just want to end this
so we can take our punishment
and be done with it.
Butters, Butters...
I don't want all
these drones everywhere!
- Nobody does!
- Butters!
All right, all right, Butters.
Fine!
I have a way that we can
get rid of all the drones.
You do?
Yes.
Everyone's sick of it.
It's just that
everyone's waiting
for everyone else to stop.
We can put an end
to it all tonight.
We're just gonna need
one thing.
- What?
- Your dad's drone.
- No! There is no way...
- Butters, Butters, Butters!
Jennifer Lawrence's butt-hole
didn't take a picture of itself.
It started with her, right?
Just like this started with you
spying on birds.
Now, I'm willing to
bail you out of all this,
but I swear
it's the last time, okay?!
Okay.
Time to end this hobby
once and for all.
No.
No!
AII right.
We've got power.
Prepare for takeoff.
If this doesn't work,
we're dead.
It'll work, Butters.
If there's one thing
we've learned,
it's that drones can't resist
Craig's mom.
We are here tonight
to pay tribute to a woman
who overcame humiliation,
who rose above the monsters
invading her privacy
and said, "No more!"
Just when it seemed that we were
about to live in a world
controlled by drones,
she did something miraculous.
And someday
our children's children
will still be telling stories
about how Craig's mom
flew through the town
and led all the drones away.
Have you heard the tale
of Craig's mom's bush
And the night that it saved us
from drones?
Nobody knew the power it had
They just thought
it was shaggy and gross
Craig's mom lived a life
of shame and despair
Everyone feared
her great giant bush
They didn't.
But then when drones
were filling the sky
She unfurled her bush
and she used it to fly
Craig's mom's bush,
Craig's mom's bush
Gargantuan thicket
of madness
Bigger than Earth
and denser than gold
Truly a magical bush
to behold
Well, you see, Butters?
Everything worked out.
"Oh, thank you, Eric.
I screwed up everything,
but now everyone's happy.
Thanks for
covering my ass."
Craig's mom
doesn't seem very happy.
All right.
I have a way that we can make
Craig's mom happy.
No! No, no! I'm sorry.
Thank you, Eric.
I screwed up everything,
but now everyone's happy.
- Thanks for covering my ass.
- You're welcome.
And she flew and she flew away
into the sun
And then she di-i-i-ed
Craig's mom's bush,
Craig's mom's bush
Truly a magical bush
to behold