South Park (1997–…): Season 16, Episode 1 - Reverse Cowgirl - full transcript
After a South Park citizen meets with an unfortunate accident, the TSA steps in to prevent it from happening again.
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Throw it here!
Nice one, Clyde!
Get up here!
Hurry!
What is that?
A toilet?
That's right, it's a toilet!
And where is the toilet seat?
It's up!
Because you left it up, again!
We've been through this
countless times!
Just not in front of my friends, OK?
Not OK!
You aren't getting the message!
What if I had fallen in?
Start listening to me!
Put it down!
Thank you.
That sucks.
A mom shouldn't be able to put rules
on toilet time like that.
Toilet time is the last bastion
of American freedom.
Is your mom always like that?
Could you guys not say anything
about this at school, please?
Of course, man.
It's cool.
"What have I told you
about pissing on the seat?"
And Clyde's all like,
"Not in front of my friends!"
- It was actually really lame.
- I know.
Women are just jealous,
'cause they have to face outwards.
Wait a minute,
you're supposed to poop facing out?
But I thought
you seat on the toilet this way.
So you have that little shelf
for your comic book and chocolate milk.
Because you got
the flusher right here.
That's embarrassing.
There you are!
Clyde Donovan,
you come home this instant.
- Why?
- What have I told you
about putting the toilet seat down
after you go to the bathroom?
I'm in class!
How many times do I have to tell you?
I was trying to get ready for work,
and the toilet seat was up, again!
Betsy, come back home.
It's not that big a deal.
No, Roger, it's a disgusting habit.
I'm sick and tired of it!
If I had sat down,
You're coming home right now,
and you're putting the toilet seat
down where it belongs.
Let's go.
I'm telling,
it was freaking hysterical.
Clyde had to get up
in the middle of class,
and follow his mom home
to put the toilet seat down.
He was so embarrassed.
I thought he was gonna die.
I know, fatass.
I was there.
And his mom goes,
"You're an asshole!"
"Now, I go toilet water
in my va-jay-jay."
That's not what she said.
You're putting extras on it again!
It's not that funny.
I know, the bathroom's the last bastion
of American freedom.
Don't you feel
just a little bad for Clyde?
You should.
The poor guy shouldn't be screamed at
for something that isn't a big deal.
- What's going on?
- They're saving Clyde's mom.
- From what?
- Clyde left the toilet seat up again.
Hang in there.
You're gonna be fine.
Stay with me.
I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do.
When she fell into the toilet,
she also made it flush.
It created a suction
that's pulling out here insides.
Can't we disconnect the toilet
from the plumbing?
We'll have to, but when we do that,
the change in pressure
will rip out her organs.
But she's not gonna die, is she?
Why'd you leave
the toilet seat up, son?
I want you to know
I don't blame you for this.
We should have been harder on you
all those times you left toilet seat up.
Mom, I'm sorry.
I don't have a lot of time.
Just please put the seat down
from now on,
for your sister's sake.
Please, let me go!
Do it!
I'll always remember Betsy Donovan's
kind nature more than anything.
She always treated people
with dignity and respect.
What a tragedy
she had to leave us so soon.
But I'm sure Betsy is hoping her death
will help women everywhere
just take that extra second
to look before they seat on a toilet.
I'd like to say
on behalf of the departed
that it isn't a woman's responsibility
to see that the seat is down,
it's a man's responsibility
to put it down.
It's not hard.
That's right!
Putting the toilet seat down
isn't hard.
So is it too much
to ask women to just look
and put it down before plopping
their butts blindly to the toilet bowl?
My God!
This is a funeral!
Please have some respect!
There's a little boy here
who has lost his mother.
He'll never see he again.
Because he couldn't take
that six tenth of a second
to put the toilet seat down
when he was done peeing.
Now, little Clyde's mother is dead.
And the blood is on his penis.
Mom, get the door!
- The Toilet Safety Administration.
- The what?
After the recent tragedy,
new safety regulation requires to check
every toilet for security.
- Can we come in?
- Sure.
- Who are these buttholes?
- It's the Toilet Safety Administration.
They're gonna do something
to the potty.
My potty?
What they gonna do to it?
That's my bathroom!
We'll have to completely redo this.
You need this counter moved
a minimum of six inches.
But we'll go ahead
install your safety belt.
Safety belt?
Federal law requires all toilets
to be fitted with a safety harness
so that nobody can fall in.
You can't make me wear a seat belt
to take a dump!
This is for your safety.
A woman died, you know.
But the blood's on Clyde's wiener,
not mine!
Everywhere he goes,
people are telling him he has blood...
on his wiener.
Go on.
We keep trying to tell him
maybe this all isn't his fault.
Maybe the people who made the toilet
are the blame for what happened.
So we were just wondering
if we could sue somebody.
You can always sue somebody.
All right!
You see, Clyde?
We wanna help him sue
whoever invented the toilet.
You got it.
Here we go, inventor of the toilet.
Sir Thomas Harrington.
Kelston, England.
Died 1692.
- He's dead?
- So we can't sue him?
Why not?
You can always sue somebody.
It's just gonna take
some special protocol.
We would have to perform...
a sueance.
A sueance?
You bet.
Here, at Hoffman & Turk,
we specialize in suing the dead.
If you hire us,
we'll work hard, for you.
- Really?
- You hear that, Clyde?
Now, look.
I'll be asking all of you
to have a very open mind
and a willingness to face your fears.
I warn you, boys.
A sueance can be very...
expensive.
- How expensive?
- How much do you have?
Clyde got $3,000
from his mom's life insurance.
That's exactly
how much a sueance cost.
That's weird.
Damn it.
Hey, officer.
You need to be wearing
your safety belt, sir.
I know, I had it on.
I took it off for a second to get the...
Address here
is 260 Avenue De Los Mexicanos?
Come on, don't give me a ticket!
Gotta wear a safety,
or you could fall in.
I'm not gonna fall in,
I'm not a chick!
Law's the law, sir.
You can pay this by mail
or appear in court on that date.
- Have a good day, sir.
- Thanks, asshole...
You say something?
I was talking to my asshole.
Come on, asshole.
Let's get back to work.
This is unbelievable.
Stupid Toilet Safety Administration.
You can't even take a crap at IHOP
without a 40 minute line.
Shoes off, belts off.
Sharp objects in the plastic tray.
- This is inhuman.
- Shut up...
sir.
Taking a dump today, ma'am?
No, just need to pee.
All right, I just need
to check inside your asshole.
How about you speed it up in here?
I'm about to crap my pants.
I demand access to the toilet now.
All right,
you mind if I touch your balls, sir?
Yes, I mind.
You mind if I touch your fucking balls?
I'm done.
All right, sir, I just need
to check inside your asshole.
I don't need you wiping my ass for me.
I'm a grown man.
You're a big boy, aren't you, sir.
I'm a big boy.
That's a big boy, sir.
I'm a big boy.
I took a big boy poo.
All right, boys,
sit down and clear your minds.
The sueance is about to begin.
Doors and windows are locked.
You have your $500 in cash ready?
I have this big bowl set here
for the money we're about to make.
Now, let us start.
We call out to the land of the dead.
Sir John Harrington,
your presence is requested.
Appear to us, John Harrington.
We have a subpoena.
Geez, it's not working.
John Harrington.
My client is due
compensation for negligence.
What is your name, spirit?
Bonds, Jimmy Bonds.
What's it to you.
Who are you mugs?
That's how people talked in the past.
We have a claim
against a John Harrington.
Do you know him, spirit?
Maybe I do, maybe I don't.
Might need a little something
to jar my memory.
We gotta grease him.
Put a hundred in the box.
Harrington, I know him.
Always going around inventing things.
That's him.
Is his personage amongst you?
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
Give him $100.
I seen him around.
He was down that way,
bragging about a porcelain machine
and what have you.
By the power of Christ, we sue you.
By the power of Christ, we sue you.
You can't sue me.
Quick, put another 300 in the box.
This actually went really well.
Always happens a bureaucrat
tries to block the first sueance.
- Good. We'll get him tomorrow.
- That's it?
We'll need another $400 tomorrow.
I know you're sad, Clyde.
Don't worry, we'll win this thing.
Put your coffee
in the plastic tray, sir.
Shoes off.
Belts off.
Got any metal in your pockets?
I just need to check your asshole.
So ridiculous.
Asshole clear.
Pick your coffee up, sir.
Anyways, he says
I'm getting nothing anyways so...
What's that thing?
That's a camera, security camera.
You people have me on camera now?
It's OK, sir.
There's just one person
viewing the monitors
in a discrete location.
Exactly how long
are we going to sit around
as our freedoms are stripped away
one by one?
It's time for us to stand together
and say we want the government
out of our bathrooms.
Now, listen.
All we have to do
is agree as a community
to all bolt our toilet seats down.
If they can't raise or lower them,
no one can fall in.
Without toilet seats, the government
can't make toilet seat laws.
Hold on! If the seat can't raise up,
the men will pee all over it.
No, we won't.
Yeah, you will.
Sorry, women might have to deal
with a little splash of pee on the rim.
It's a far better solution
than the government in our bathrooms.
How about we agree to that,
if men agree
to always sit down to urinate.
No, you can't make men
sit down to pee.
How could we play "sink the boat?"
How will Nelson and I make an X
on sleepover nights?
What about us loggers,
hard-working men who like to stand up
after they've taken a poo,
turn around and cut their poo in half
with their urine?
Sorry, but if we don't want
the government treating us like kids,
we might have to give up
peeing our feces in half.
Folks have been logging here
for generations.
My pop taught me logging,
and his pop before him!
I think we have to live with the TSA.
The spirits of the dead
are looking over the subpoena.
Motion of summary judgement
on behalf of the plaintiff.
- What's going on?
- The judge declined our motion.
Concentrate more.
This specter is like none
I've ever encountered.
He managed to avert liability
with an injunction against our claim.
So what?
We'll hit him
with a class-action lawsuit tomorrow.
We need all of your friends and families
to sign a petition and kick in $50 each.
What?
Hang in there, Clyde.
This is all to make the world
a safer place.
Security breach.
An embarrassing day
for the toilet safety administration.
Shocking outrage ensued
after an unknown terrorist
managed to get through TSA security
with a gun and baby.
Leaving the toilet seat up.
The head TSA chief of operations
had this to say.
Shit.
Meanwhile, outraged civilians
are claiming they're finally fed up
with the overblown
government bureaucracy.
What good is the TSA
if they aren't protecting us?
Why have we given up freedom
if terrorists can take a hostage
with a baby and a gun on the toilet?
And the toilet seat was up.
We've all stood by
as mother government
is taking our dignity.
Right!
Now, it's time for us
to take responsibility for ourselves.
It is time for us all to grow up.
That's right.
It is time...
for a sueance.
Wait, what?
What the fuck is a sueance?
I'm standing outside
the South Park courthouse,
where experts have successfully
summoned the ghost of toilet inventor,
Sir John Harrington.
Now that the spirit
has crossed over from the dead,
lawyers are gonna try and sue him.
Sir Thomas Harrington,
your extreme negligence
has cost taxpayers millions.
You will be sued, spirit.
The liability is without question.
Appear before this court, Harrington.
Never.
Quick, everyone,
get out all your money.
Mom?
This lawyer is a fraud.
He has been swindling you
and your friends for your money.
Fuck me, it's a ghost.
You can't sue the dead, Clyde.
Putting the toilet seat down
is a matter of simple etiquette.
It's common sense.
Here we go.
Don't try and blame Mommy's death
on anything but your failure
to do something
I asked you time and time again to do.
It's your fault.
Hold on just a second!
It's not anyone's fault.
I am sick and tired
of all of this nonsense
over my porcelain toilet machine.
There he is.
Sir John Harrington.
Quick, sue him.
You can't sue me.
You're all using my toilet invention
the wrong way.
When you have to sit
and take a Sir Harrington,
you're supposed
to be facing this way.
So you can use the little shelf
for your books, quill and ink.
I told you, you sit on it that way.
I told you.
Why would I design it
so that after your Sir Harrington,
you have to stand up, turn around
and look down
at your Harrington to flush?
That's gross.
If you sit on it that way,
you take your pants all the way off.
Why do you think
I designed toilet rooms
with a laundry hole?
That's what that hole is for?
So then Clyde's mom ghost
is all like,
"Clyde, what I have told you,
you asshole?"
And Clyde's all like,
"Leave me alone.
I'm seriously, stop please!"
It was a riot.
That's not what I said.
I'm just glad
that stupid TSA crap is over with.
You've had a tough week,
but your mom didn't die for nothing.
We're right back to the bathroom
being the last bastion of our freedom.
So technically,
your mum did die for nothing, but...
You're there?
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Throw it here!
Nice one, Clyde!
Get up here!
Hurry!
What is that?
A toilet?
That's right, it's a toilet!
And where is the toilet seat?
It's up!
Because you left it up, again!
We've been through this
countless times!
Just not in front of my friends, OK?
Not OK!
You aren't getting the message!
What if I had fallen in?
Start listening to me!
Put it down!
Thank you.
That sucks.
A mom shouldn't be able to put rules
on toilet time like that.
Toilet time is the last bastion
of American freedom.
Is your mom always like that?
Could you guys not say anything
about this at school, please?
Of course, man.
It's cool.
"What have I told you
about pissing on the seat?"
And Clyde's all like,
"Not in front of my friends!"
- It was actually really lame.
- I know.
Women are just jealous,
'cause they have to face outwards.
Wait a minute,
you're supposed to poop facing out?
But I thought
you seat on the toilet this way.
So you have that little shelf
for your comic book and chocolate milk.
Because you got
the flusher right here.
That's embarrassing.
There you are!
Clyde Donovan,
you come home this instant.
- Why?
- What have I told you
about putting the toilet seat down
after you go to the bathroom?
I'm in class!
How many times do I have to tell you?
I was trying to get ready for work,
and the toilet seat was up, again!
Betsy, come back home.
It's not that big a deal.
No, Roger, it's a disgusting habit.
I'm sick and tired of it!
If I had sat down,
You're coming home right now,
and you're putting the toilet seat
down where it belongs.
Let's go.
I'm telling,
it was freaking hysterical.
Clyde had to get up
in the middle of class,
and follow his mom home
to put the toilet seat down.
He was so embarrassed.
I thought he was gonna die.
I know, fatass.
I was there.
And his mom goes,
"You're an asshole!"
"Now, I go toilet water
in my va-jay-jay."
That's not what she said.
You're putting extras on it again!
It's not that funny.
I know, the bathroom's the last bastion
of American freedom.
Don't you feel
just a little bad for Clyde?
You should.
The poor guy shouldn't be screamed at
for something that isn't a big deal.
- What's going on?
- They're saving Clyde's mom.
- From what?
- Clyde left the toilet seat up again.
Hang in there.
You're gonna be fine.
Stay with me.
I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do.
When she fell into the toilet,
she also made it flush.
It created a suction
that's pulling out here insides.
Can't we disconnect the toilet
from the plumbing?
We'll have to, but when we do that,
the change in pressure
will rip out her organs.
But she's not gonna die, is she?
Why'd you leave
the toilet seat up, son?
I want you to know
I don't blame you for this.
We should have been harder on you
all those times you left toilet seat up.
Mom, I'm sorry.
I don't have a lot of time.
Just please put the seat down
from now on,
for your sister's sake.
Please, let me go!
Do it!
I'll always remember Betsy Donovan's
kind nature more than anything.
She always treated people
with dignity and respect.
What a tragedy
she had to leave us so soon.
But I'm sure Betsy is hoping her death
will help women everywhere
just take that extra second
to look before they seat on a toilet.
I'd like to say
on behalf of the departed
that it isn't a woman's responsibility
to see that the seat is down,
it's a man's responsibility
to put it down.
It's not hard.
That's right!
Putting the toilet seat down
isn't hard.
So is it too much
to ask women to just look
and put it down before plopping
their butts blindly to the toilet bowl?
My God!
This is a funeral!
Please have some respect!
There's a little boy here
who has lost his mother.
He'll never see he again.
Because he couldn't take
that six tenth of a second
to put the toilet seat down
when he was done peeing.
Now, little Clyde's mother is dead.
And the blood is on his penis.
Mom, get the door!
- The Toilet Safety Administration.
- The what?
After the recent tragedy,
new safety regulation requires to check
every toilet for security.
- Can we come in?
- Sure.
- Who are these buttholes?
- It's the Toilet Safety Administration.
They're gonna do something
to the potty.
My potty?
What they gonna do to it?
That's my bathroom!
We'll have to completely redo this.
You need this counter moved
a minimum of six inches.
But we'll go ahead
install your safety belt.
Safety belt?
Federal law requires all toilets
to be fitted with a safety harness
so that nobody can fall in.
You can't make me wear a seat belt
to take a dump!
This is for your safety.
A woman died, you know.
But the blood's on Clyde's wiener,
not mine!
Everywhere he goes,
people are telling him he has blood...
on his wiener.
Go on.
We keep trying to tell him
maybe this all isn't his fault.
Maybe the people who made the toilet
are the blame for what happened.
So we were just wondering
if we could sue somebody.
You can always sue somebody.
All right!
You see, Clyde?
We wanna help him sue
whoever invented the toilet.
You got it.
Here we go, inventor of the toilet.
Sir Thomas Harrington.
Kelston, England.
Died 1692.
- He's dead?
- So we can't sue him?
Why not?
You can always sue somebody.
It's just gonna take
some special protocol.
We would have to perform...
a sueance.
A sueance?
You bet.
Here, at Hoffman & Turk,
we specialize in suing the dead.
If you hire us,
we'll work hard, for you.
- Really?
- You hear that, Clyde?
Now, look.
I'll be asking all of you
to have a very open mind
and a willingness to face your fears.
I warn you, boys.
A sueance can be very...
expensive.
- How expensive?
- How much do you have?
Clyde got $3,000
from his mom's life insurance.
That's exactly
how much a sueance cost.
That's weird.
Damn it.
Hey, officer.
You need to be wearing
your safety belt, sir.
I know, I had it on.
I took it off for a second to get the...
Address here
is 260 Avenue De Los Mexicanos?
Come on, don't give me a ticket!
Gotta wear a safety,
or you could fall in.
I'm not gonna fall in,
I'm not a chick!
Law's the law, sir.
You can pay this by mail
or appear in court on that date.
- Have a good day, sir.
- Thanks, asshole...
You say something?
I was talking to my asshole.
Come on, asshole.
Let's get back to work.
This is unbelievable.
Stupid Toilet Safety Administration.
You can't even take a crap at IHOP
without a 40 minute line.
Shoes off, belts off.
Sharp objects in the plastic tray.
- This is inhuman.
- Shut up...
sir.
Taking a dump today, ma'am?
No, just need to pee.
All right, I just need
to check inside your asshole.
How about you speed it up in here?
I'm about to crap my pants.
I demand access to the toilet now.
All right,
you mind if I touch your balls, sir?
Yes, I mind.
You mind if I touch your fucking balls?
I'm done.
All right, sir, I just need
to check inside your asshole.
I don't need you wiping my ass for me.
I'm a grown man.
You're a big boy, aren't you, sir.
I'm a big boy.
That's a big boy, sir.
I'm a big boy.
I took a big boy poo.
All right, boys,
sit down and clear your minds.
The sueance is about to begin.
Doors and windows are locked.
You have your $500 in cash ready?
I have this big bowl set here
for the money we're about to make.
Now, let us start.
We call out to the land of the dead.
Sir John Harrington,
your presence is requested.
Appear to us, John Harrington.
We have a subpoena.
Geez, it's not working.
John Harrington.
My client is due
compensation for negligence.
What is your name, spirit?
Bonds, Jimmy Bonds.
What's it to you.
Who are you mugs?
That's how people talked in the past.
We have a claim
against a John Harrington.
Do you know him, spirit?
Maybe I do, maybe I don't.
Might need a little something
to jar my memory.
We gotta grease him.
Put a hundred in the box.
Harrington, I know him.
Always going around inventing things.
That's him.
Is his personage amongst you?
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
Give him $100.
I seen him around.
He was down that way,
bragging about a porcelain machine
and what have you.
By the power of Christ, we sue you.
By the power of Christ, we sue you.
You can't sue me.
Quick, put another 300 in the box.
This actually went really well.
Always happens a bureaucrat
tries to block the first sueance.
- Good. We'll get him tomorrow.
- That's it?
We'll need another $400 tomorrow.
I know you're sad, Clyde.
Don't worry, we'll win this thing.
Put your coffee
in the plastic tray, sir.
Shoes off.
Belts off.
Got any metal in your pockets?
I just need to check your asshole.
So ridiculous.
Asshole clear.
Pick your coffee up, sir.
Anyways, he says
I'm getting nothing anyways so...
What's that thing?
That's a camera, security camera.
You people have me on camera now?
It's OK, sir.
There's just one person
viewing the monitors
in a discrete location.
Exactly how long
are we going to sit around
as our freedoms are stripped away
one by one?
It's time for us to stand together
and say we want the government
out of our bathrooms.
Now, listen.
All we have to do
is agree as a community
to all bolt our toilet seats down.
If they can't raise or lower them,
no one can fall in.
Without toilet seats, the government
can't make toilet seat laws.
Hold on! If the seat can't raise up,
the men will pee all over it.
No, we won't.
Yeah, you will.
Sorry, women might have to deal
with a little splash of pee on the rim.
It's a far better solution
than the government in our bathrooms.
How about we agree to that,
if men agree
to always sit down to urinate.
No, you can't make men
sit down to pee.
How could we play "sink the boat?"
How will Nelson and I make an X
on sleepover nights?
What about us loggers,
hard-working men who like to stand up
after they've taken a poo,
turn around and cut their poo in half
with their urine?
Sorry, but if we don't want
the government treating us like kids,
we might have to give up
peeing our feces in half.
Folks have been logging here
for generations.
My pop taught me logging,
and his pop before him!
I think we have to live with the TSA.
The spirits of the dead
are looking over the subpoena.
Motion of summary judgement
on behalf of the plaintiff.
- What's going on?
- The judge declined our motion.
Concentrate more.
This specter is like none
I've ever encountered.
He managed to avert liability
with an injunction against our claim.
So what?
We'll hit him
with a class-action lawsuit tomorrow.
We need all of your friends and families
to sign a petition and kick in $50 each.
What?
Hang in there, Clyde.
This is all to make the world
a safer place.
Security breach.
An embarrassing day
for the toilet safety administration.
Shocking outrage ensued
after an unknown terrorist
managed to get through TSA security
with a gun and baby.
Leaving the toilet seat up.
The head TSA chief of operations
had this to say.
Shit.
Meanwhile, outraged civilians
are claiming they're finally fed up
with the overblown
government bureaucracy.
What good is the TSA
if they aren't protecting us?
Why have we given up freedom
if terrorists can take a hostage
with a baby and a gun on the toilet?
And the toilet seat was up.
We've all stood by
as mother government
is taking our dignity.
Right!
Now, it's time for us
to take responsibility for ourselves.
It is time for us all to grow up.
That's right.
It is time...
for a sueance.
Wait, what?
What the fuck is a sueance?
I'm standing outside
the South Park courthouse,
where experts have successfully
summoned the ghost of toilet inventor,
Sir John Harrington.
Now that the spirit
has crossed over from the dead,
lawyers are gonna try and sue him.
Sir Thomas Harrington,
your extreme negligence
has cost taxpayers millions.
You will be sued, spirit.
The liability is without question.
Appear before this court, Harrington.
Never.
Quick, everyone,
get out all your money.
Mom?
This lawyer is a fraud.
He has been swindling you
and your friends for your money.
Fuck me, it's a ghost.
You can't sue the dead, Clyde.
Putting the toilet seat down
is a matter of simple etiquette.
It's common sense.
Here we go.
Don't try and blame Mommy's death
on anything but your failure
to do something
I asked you time and time again to do.
It's your fault.
Hold on just a second!
It's not anyone's fault.
I am sick and tired
of all of this nonsense
over my porcelain toilet machine.
There he is.
Sir John Harrington.
Quick, sue him.
You can't sue me.
You're all using my toilet invention
the wrong way.
When you have to sit
and take a Sir Harrington,
you're supposed
to be facing this way.
So you can use the little shelf
for your books, quill and ink.
I told you, you sit on it that way.
I told you.
Why would I design it
so that after your Sir Harrington,
you have to stand up, turn around
and look down
at your Harrington to flush?
That's gross.
If you sit on it that way,
you take your pants all the way off.
Why do you think
I designed toilet rooms
with a laundry hole?
That's what that hole is for?
So then Clyde's mom ghost
is all like,
"Clyde, what I have told you,
you asshole?"
And Clyde's all like,
"Leave me alone.
I'm seriously, stop please!"
It was a riot.
That's not what I said.
I'm just glad
that stupid TSA crap is over with.
You've had a tough week,
but your mom didn't die for nothing.
We're right back to the bathroom
being the last bastion of our freedom.
So technically,
your mum did die for nothing, but...
You're there?