Sorry for Your Loss (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - The Penguin and The Mechanic - full transcript

- Please don't micromanage
my feelings.

You always did that,
and it always felt terrible.

- Don't start a fight
to get away

from what happened earlier.

- Every sober day
is a miracle.

So I'm here to listen
if you want to talk.

- I know Leigh would love it
if I finished my comic book.

- I just really needed
to make him happy

and I don't know if I did.

- Wasn't your fault, Leigh.

- What do you do?
Where are you from?



- Well, you're allowed
to move on.

- So are you.

- And the penguin said,

"No, I was eating ice cream."

- Penguin said what?

- The...

The penguin said,
"No, I was..."

- You wanna hear a joke?
- Sure.

- So a penguin goes to
a mechanic.

- Is the mechanic also
a penguin?

- No, no, the mechanic is...
human mechanic, penguin driver.

- Okay. I'm with you.
- Yeah. No fair enough.

Yeah, it's a good question.

- Human mechanic,
penguin driver.



Keep going.
- Okay, so...

- I'm there.
- Penguin... a penguin, uh...

- Matt told this joke,
and all I can think of

is the punch line.

- You want me to Google it?
- No, I want to remember it.

- They did not have
any Half and Half.

- That's okay, coffee's coffee.

Hey, can I ask you
something personal?

Have you been
with anyone since?

- I went on a date last week.

We didn't have sex, but
we did like everything else.

- Well, if... if you had
oral sex then...

then you had sex.

Yeah.

- Well, then I guess I had sex.

- Have you?
- Yes.

Once, recently.

It was... it was good.

But I...

I don't know.

- Me too.

Griffin dies, and nothing
gets to be just good anymore.

There's all this other stuff.

- I went to his grave
this week.

It was the first time

I had been since
he was buried.

And I stood there
and felt nothing.

- Well, maybe instead of going
where he's dead

you should go where you guys
were alive together.

- Is that what you do?

- I go to Target.

- Sorry, like the store?
- Mm-hmm.

We would go on Friday nights
to people watch

and buy stuff we didn't need.

So do you know which aisle
my husband's ghost is in?

- No, Target was our place.

You have to get your own.
- Okay.

- But seriously, just...
go where the memories are.

That's where he'll be.

Or you can go to aisle ten.

- Hey, lady.

- Hey, yourself.

- This class is the highlight
of my week.

You're gonna have to add more
dance parties to the schedule.

- Yes, definitely.

- I'm gonna run some errands,
and then I'll be back.

- Great.
- Why are you coming back?

- Sabrina's helping me with
new combos for class

- Okay, well, if I'm around,

I will see and if I'm not,
then I won't.

- Okay. Bye.
- Okay, bye.

- Why'd you use your fake voice
with Sabrina?

- I don't have a fake voice.
It's just my voice.

Bye.

- Okay, Mom.

- She's here all the time now.

- Am I supposed to be sneaking
around with her?

Am I having a mom affair?

- Honey, I am not crazy
for being concerned.

You know, in the past, you've
looked for connections with

people who couldn't possibly
give you what you need.

And I... I feel like
it's history repeating itself.

- That's not true.

My relationship with Sabrina
goes both ways.

I help her with stuff
as much as she's helping me.

- What stuff?

- I phrased that weird.
- See you later.

- Have a good one.
Everything's fine.

- Honey.

I'm your safe space.
I'm your locked box.

And I'm your mother.

- Okay.
It could be nothing,

but last time I was
at Sabrina's house,

she got a call from Richard,

and she was gone a long time.

And when she came back,

it looked like she'd been
crying.

I shouldn't have said anything.

- It's okay.

Locked box.

- Great class, Jules.
- Thanks for coming.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- See you next time.

- Can I help you
with something?

- No, I'm okay.

- It's just you were here
when I left,

and you're still here.

- Sorry.

I... I used to live in
your apartment.

- Oh, are you Shaw?

- Yeah, Leigh Shaw. Yeah.

- I-I think have some of
your mail.

I'll grab it.
- Okay, great.

- You wanna come with me?
- Yeah, lemme help you.

- Oh, thanks.

Oh, hi!

The light is amazing.

She loves listening
to the birds outside

in the morning.

Obviously,
when she needs her own room

we'll have to move,
but for now it's great.

I think the mail's on
my husband's desk.

Do you know a Matt Greer?

- Yeah, we lived here together.

- Oh, good.

There's something in there
for him too.

- Great.

Yeah.

Thank you.

What are you doing here?

- You haven't returned
any of my texts.

- That was intentional.

- I need to talk with you.
- Five minutes.

And I don't know
what there is to say.

I mean, it was a mistake.
Let's both just

acknowledge that
and get on with our lives.

- Didn't feel like a mistake.
And now that it's happened,

I don't want
to pretend it didn't.

- Oh, my God,
that is so like you.

Get too comfortable in
your marriage

and start looking for
an escape.

- What are you talking about?

I've been married to Sabrina
for 20 years.

- If you were married
to that woman

that you cheated on me with,

maybe, you know, maybe

I would think about
one time revenge sex.

But Sabrina has only ever been
great to me and my daughters.

- Sabrina is great.

But we've also been in
and out of couple's therapy

for the last two years.

You did not cause our problems.

- I don't care.

I will not be the other woman.

Not to her and not with you.

- This is what I think.

We kept our distance
from each other for decades.

- And I remember why.

- Will you let me finish?

Look, I don't think the detour

that our lives took is wrong.

I love Sabrina, we had Evie,
you adopted Jules.

I wouldn't trade
the last 20 years,

and I know you wouldn't either.

But our lives led us back
to each other.

What if...

we're two people...

who are supposed
to be together...

and we finally got
our timing right?

- Hey.
- Hey.

- You're not gonna
believe this.

I can't even believe it.

Look.
- What... what is that?

- It's a mock-up of Matt's
comic book cover.

This editor Joe Tsang sent it
to the old apartment.

He didn't even know Matt died.

- Wait, what?
Why?

- Matt sold his comic.

- Holy...!
Holy...!

Oh, my God!
- Holy...!

- I can't believe he did it.
- I know.

It was his dream,
and it came true.

- Well, why didn't he tell us?

- Well, I don't know,
he probably wanted

to wait till it was real
or something.

- Yeah.

- Anyway, I haven't even gotten
to the best part.

So this editor,

he said that if we find
the ending

that he'll still publish it.

- But you read the book.
You know there's no ending.

- Well...

- This is his last page.
- Yeah.

- I mean, he never
finished it.

- Okay, so he must have notes
or something.

- I mean, he had some
sketchbooks.

There might be something
in there, but...

- Well, we're gonna find
the ending

and we're gonna get
this published.

- My mom was right.

I hate saying that,
but she was.

I have a track record for not
great relationships.

I mean, I had sex with a guy
I spoke to for two minutes

in the bathroom line
at a wedding last weekend.

- Well, you're allowed
to have sex.

- Yeah, but, am I allowed
to be a train wreck?

- You're not a train wreck.

- Yeah.

I am.

I thought that...

getting sober would fix
everything, but no.

Turns out I still suck.

But hey at least I have
a good excuse.

Because the first person

that was ever supposed to
love me abandoned me.

So how are you supposed
to get over that?

- You never talk to me about
your adoption.

- I don't talk about it
that much.

- Well, you don't have to,
but you can.

If you want to.

- I used to as a kid.

Then was I was 13,
I had this freak-out.

That winter break my mom
booked us a trip to Vietnam.

We were going to visit
the orphanage where I'm from,

and...

the morning of our flight,
I couldn't leave my room.

I physically couldn't do it.

So we canceled the trip,

and it became this thing
that I don't really talk about.

I don't know I'm talking
about it now.

- Have you ever talked
in group about

how sometimes

your growth can stop

when you start using

and then start back up
when you get sober?

- Why?

- Maybe there were
some things in you

that froze up at
that age and they're...

starting to thaw out now.

Maybe.

- Maybe.

- How about this?
- Ohh...

Yep.

- How do you know his password?

- Uh, we shared the same
desktop as kids.

It's Batman,

it's Matt's birthday,
and three exclamation points.

Jeez, there's a million
files on here.

Matt never deleted anything.

- When did he meet
the publisher?

We should look at the files
from after the meeting.

- Oh, yeah.

Looks like it was...

June 14th.

- He met that guy
the day before he died?

- Looks like it, so...

there probably isn't much,

but there could still
be something in here.

- Maybe he didn't want it
to be published.

- What are you talking about?

- I'm talking about
the fact that

he got the best news
of his life

and then jumped off
a cliff the next day.

- Danny, no.

It means that it was
an accident,

because if he knew this,
he never would have jumped.

- Or he got exactly
what he wanted,

it didn't make him feel
any better,

and that's how he knew that he
would never feel any better.

- Okay, I don't understand
why you're trying to ruin this,

but you need to stop it
right now.

- I'm not trying
to ruin anything.

I'm just... I'm looking
at this timeline

and I'm just telling you
what I see.

- Well, I get to make
his dream come true.

And this is the closest

that I have felt to Matt
since he died,

so why are you trying
to take that away from me?

- So this isn't about
what Matt wants.

This is about what you want.

You want to publish this book
to make you feel better.

- Yeah, you know what?
I do.

Because if I don't
get to have him,

at least I get to have this.

- Oh, hi.
Hey, hi, Danny.

- Hi.
- Hi, Amy.

- Thank you.
- Got that.

- Thank you.
- Of course.

- What are you guys up to?

- Someone wants to publish
Matt's comic.

- Oh, my God, that's amazing.
- Mm-hmm.

- But we don't know
if that's what he wanted,

and it's not like
we can ask him.

- Well, um,

I do have an idea,
but you have to promise

not to make fun of me.

- I can't promise you that.

- Okay, well,
I'll tell you anyway.

I do know

a really good psychic.

- Okay, so we're not...
we're not joking around now?

- My mom's never joking
about psychics.

- You know, I just have
to say something.

- This has been
a crisis of faith

kind of a year for me,

and I don't know
whether I believe

in any of that stuff anymore.

But when Richard and I were

deciding whether to start
a family, we flipped a coin.

Heads we tried,
and tails we didn't.

And whenever it came up heads
we were relieved,

and whenever it came up tails
we were disappointed.

And the flip didn't make
the decision.

It just... it just helped us

understand what it was
that we really wanted.

- You want to just skip
the psychic and flip a coin?

- I think we have
something that's bigger

than a yes or no question.

- Do you believe this stuff?

- I mean I don't...

think I do, but...

I don't have any better idea,

so at this point I'm...
I'm willing to try anything.

- Are you getting something?

- It's a car.

A broken car.

that needs to go to
an auto shop.

Something about a mechanic.

- Yeah. That doesn't mean
anything to me.

- Well, i-it does to me.

- I have a connection now.

You can talk to him.

- Matt.

We want to know...

If we have your blessing
to publish your comic book.

Is that what you want?

- He says he wants you
to decide.

- But we can't,
so that's why we need him

to tell us what to do.

He says he loves you both.

And he wants you to do
what's best for the two of you.

You're here.
He's not.

That's why he wants
the decision to be yours.

- I want to ask a question.

- Of course.

- Matt...

What were you thinking...

The last minute of your life?

- Danny.

- I need you to stay calm
and keep your heart open

if I'm gonna hold
the connection.

- Okay.

- He says...

He wasn't.

- He...

He wasn't thinking?

What does that mean,
he... he wasn't thinking,

and that's why he jumped?

He wasn't thinking because
he was falling?

What does that mean?

- I'm having a hard time
hearing.

I don't know how long
I can keep him here.

- No, no, no, no, you have
to tell him to hold on.

Tell him to stay,
because I don't to lose him,

and I can't.

I can't lose him.
Um...

I will do anything.
Just...

tell him to stay here.

Please.

- I'm sorry.

He's gone.

- Well, that was a lot.

- Yeah, it was.

- You okay?

- Just need to know
if he did it or not.

- There's...

a woman in group
whose sister hanged herself.

And she always says,

"My sister didn't kill herself.

Mental illness killed
my sister."

So it was either an accident

or a disease.

But either way,
it wasn't Matt.

- I still need to know.

- Danny, I don't think

either of us
are ever gonna know.

And I think we're both
gonna have to live with that.

I'm gonna ask Matt's editor

to publish his comic
without the ending.

I need that to happen for him.

I need it for me.

- You have to do
what you have to do.

- Yeah.

- And so do I.

And I can't hang out
with you anymore.

- I'm sorry?

- It's just too hard
to be around you.

- Okay.

- I'll see you.

- See you.

Oh, God.

- Hey, honey.
- Hi.

- So what did Tara say?

- She said...

Matt wants me to do
what's best for me.

- And what do you think
is best for you?

- Well, I have to

stop being in pain every
minute of the day,

'cause I can't survive
like this.

But if the pain stops...

then he's gone and I...

I can't survive that either.

- Do you remember when
you were in elementary school

and I read you a fairy tale
every night before bed?

And you used to say me,

"Why did they go
into the woods?

"There are witches and monsters
in the woods.

Why did they go
into the woods?"

- Yeah,
why do they go in there?

- Because it's the scariest
place.

You have to go to
the scariest place

to find out who are you,
who you're gonna be.

- The woods suck.

- Yes, they do,
but there's no way around it.

The only way through it
is through it.

Anyone hungry?

Should we order in?

- I'll get some menus.

What?

- I just remembered
Matt's joke.

- Human mechanic,
penguin driver.

- Okay, I'm with you.
- Yeah.

No, fair enough.
Yeah, it was a good question.

- Human mechanic,
penguin driver.

Keep going.
- Yes. Okay.

So a penguin
goes to mechanic

and while his car's
being fixed,

he goes across the street
to get some ice cream

from some gas station.
- Okay.

- And he comes out and he has
ice cream all over his beak.

And he goes to the mechanic,

the mechanic's wiping his hands
on this rag, and he says,

"Oh, man, looks like
you blew a seal."

And the penguin says,

"Oh, no, no, no,
that's just ice cream."

Oh, no.

- Yeah, I should have told you
it was a dumb joke.

- It was a dumb joke. Yeah.

- Yeah.

- But I really like
the way you told it.

- Do you really?

- You're a very compelling
storyteller.

Okay.

- Okay.

I'm Matt.
- I'm Leigh.

- Hey, Matt.
It's me.

I just don't get it, bro.

I'm trying, but I can't.

You are such an idiot.

I don't know
if it was an accident

or a choice,

but whatever the hell it was,
it was stupid.

It was just stupid
because you had everything.

You had Leigh.

I never really got
what you saw in her,

to be honest, man...

But I get it, I guess.

I-I get how...
you fell in love with her

because...

Because I d...

'cause I think I am too.