Son of a Critch (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - Episode #1.10 - full transcript
Adult mark: They say breakfast.
Is the most important
meal of the day,
But seeing how the median
age in our house was 68,
Our breakfast of
champions was pills.
Pop: Oh.
Blues before yellows.
Yellows and reds before
pinks, and then whites.
No. Yellow and red, then blue.
Pink one after you eat.
- White ones are for mark.
- Jesus.
Adult mark: Pop didn't
have much faith in pills.
He preferred the home
remedies he grew up with.
Asthma's not real.
What you need is a
bread poultice. Here.
Adult mark: Ah,
the bread poultice.
Pop's answer to every ailment.
From hangnail to gunshot wound.
Once hardened, it
would supposedly.
Draw out the sickness.
ooh!
Ooh, that would be lovely
with a nice cup of tea.
Hmm.
Adult mark: Mostly it
just ruined your shirt.
eh.
They don't work
by starin' at 'em.
Well, how do we know
they work at all?
'Cause I'm still looking
at your hoary mug.
- Hmm. - Uh, mary?
- Hmm?
Can I talk to you about
the door for a minute?
Are you sure you don't
want me to come with ya.
- To the hospital...
- oh, shh-shh-shh!
I'll be fine.
Very routine
operation, they said.
Besides, the boys need you here.
Look, I'm not very good at
this kinda thing, but...
Come back to me in one piece.
Well, you know, minus the piece.
They're gonna cut out
o' ya or whatever.
I will do that.
Adult mark: The old man was
as smooth as sandpaper...
And half as comforting.
Mary: Eat your breakfast now.
So you can take your
pills that go with food.
What's going on?
Oh, it's nothin' to
worry about, mark.
I just have to go into
the hospital is all.
- Oh! Can I go with you!
- I love a good hospital visit.
Who're we gonna see?
Mm. Doesn't matter,
I'll wear a suit either way.
No, mark, your mother's
going in for a small surgery.
so, hey, you're lucky,
You get to stay with me.
Mary:
Mary, somebody's
got to tell the boy.
Remember, the tall
cans are for you crowd,
The short ones are
for the cat, hmm?
- Are you dying?
- Oh no, mark. No.
Don't be foolish, hmm?
Pop: Well, I'm dying,
your father's dying,
The cat's dying, the whole
bloody house is dying,
But your mother
will outlive us all.
taxi's here!
Wha... uh, you're
going right now?!
You're not even dressed!
Ah, what do I need to
be dressed for, hmm?
Only gonna to be puttin' on a
robe as soon as I get there.
Oh, mark, you're a big boy now.
Look, you're in charge, okay?
Now you just keep an
eye on everything here.
While I'm gone,
And I'll come back
fit as a fiddle.
Give us a hug, huh?
Yeah.
You be a good boy.
Adult mark: I was the
man of the house now,
But our house didn't
need another man;
It needed a mom.
Hey, we've got tinned spaghetti.
Or purr-fect feast.
You know, with a name like that,
I am leaning purr-fect feast.
No.
Fox: Wanna know your fortune?
What's the point? We're
all just gonna die anyway.
So... That's a no.
What's your problem?
My mom's having surgery,
but I don't know what kind.
You're so weird. How can you
not know something like that?
They don't want me to worry,
which makes me worried.
Adult mark: I was used to
hospitals and even wakes,
But the thought of losing
my mother terrified me.
Not that my friends noticed.
Pick a colour.
- Uh... Red.
- R-e-d.
Pick a number.
- Four.
- One, two, three, four.
Now, read your
fortune, dumb-ass.
- "You're dead." ha!
- What does that mean?
If I catch you,
Then you're gonna be
the one in the hospital.
Well?
mark!
Adult mark: I needed
friends my own age.
-
- I needed pop.
- Ugh! What stinks?
- Mm-hmm!
Supper. Ready.
Mark: Is that spaghetti
in the cat bowl?
- Mm-hmm.
- Then what's in there?
Canmash.
- What's that?
- Well, go into the cupboard,
Get all the cans I can,
And mash 'em all
together. Delicious!
Ah, mike, here. Try that.
- Ah, looks good, pop.
- Yeah, yeah, good.
- Mm-hmm.
- How is it?
- Come on, one to ten.
- ten.
Adult mark: The
choices were clear:
Starvation or food poisoning.
Mm-hmm. All good, girl.
My goodness, connie, you
have got a gentle touch.
- it's more like a spa.
Than a hospital 'round here.
Sin to say, but...
Sometimes it's nice to
be away from the family.
Girl, I knows all
too much about it.
I got two boys,
and that's enough.
- Oh, I got the same.
- Oh, really?
Mm. Truth be told though,
The boys are not the
hard part, it's the...
- The men? Hmm.
- Yes.
- I got one of them too.
- Mm...
Both:
Well, I suppose
it'll all be okay.
The worst part is
they're just...
Well, there isn't anyone
I can really talk to.
About it at home, so...
It'll be okay, believe me.
I knows all too much about it.
Yeah. Hmm.
Now you get to put
your feet up for once!
- oh my...
Maclean's, chatelaine, owl.
- Mark loves that one.
- Mm-hmm.
I think I'll go with chatelaine.
- Proper damn thing!
- Thank you.
- Want a cup o' tea?
- Oh yes, dear.
- Where's the kettle?
- Oh, no.
No, you lie down.
Read your magazine.
- What?
- I'll get it for ya.
Oh!
Connie, I'm movin' in for good.
- You're welcome to it.
Announcement: Dr. Patterson
to the er, please.
That's dr. Patterson...
Pop, ya gotta take your pills!
Hmph. Bloody drug pusher.
Uh, mary critch's room, please?
Pop: This is what I'm after.
Mustard and bread.
Can't beat it.
Mike sr.: Hello, mary?
Mary: mark?
- What?
- Mark?
- Let me have that again.
- The line's very bad.
what the frig?
You go under the knife
at 9:00 a.M., you say?
- My god!
- Good god!
This line is terrible!
I'm gonna have to call
the phone company.
I mean, what the
hell am I paying for?
- what does dr. Fisher say?
Adult mark: Kids overhear
more than their parents think,
Especially when everything
they say is shouted.
I listened to every word
for a glimmer of truth.
- A full hysterectomy?
- I was a good bit surprised.
- now don't worry about us.
We have things well in
hand. You just rest.
Hello?! Mary? Mary? Hello?!
- She's dead.
Uh, the line. The line's dead.
Terrible line.
That was your mother. She's
having a wonderful time.
Cat hasn't even
touched her noodles.
Puss! Puthy, puthy, puthy!
Adult mark: Misty was our cat.
She only appeared for feedings.
Like everything in our
house, she was old.
Dad loved the cat almost
as much as it hated him.
- agh! She's a bloody lynx!
Misty:
Mike sr.: Goddamn cat.
- Pop?
- Yes, sir.
Am I gonna have to have
a hysternmectomy one day?
Mm. Maybe.
Maybe not.
Probably not.
How do you know?
You know, sometimes a flower
loses its petals... Mm.
Mm...
No pollen then.
Bees come buzzin' around.
Lookin' for this,
that and the other,
But you're not gonna
get stung by a bee,
'cause if they sting you,
Then they have to rip
their own arse out.
And if they rip
their own arse out,
Well, then...
They just die.
That's what's wrong
with your mother.
More or less. Mm...
Adult mark: I didn't know why
pop needed all those pills,
But it was becoming clear
that he needed them.
More than the bread poultice.
Ah, they wouldn't let
me in with flat feet.
Oh...
Those bouncing bombs...
Amazing.
Skip, skip, skip.
Hit the dam,
Sank,
Boom.
Ah, the bastards.
Pop?
Did you take your pills?
Okay.
- Mm...
- Night, pop.
Mm...
Good cat.
radio:
And now mike critch.
- With the vcom news!
- Mike! You up?
- Radio: Were called the scene...
- Your bus'll be here soon.
- Radio: Two youths...
- Mike?!
I'm gone.
Oh, you give and you give,
but they just don't care.
Radio: They were disappointed
with the fried chicken
pop?!
Pop?!
Can no one answer
me this morning?!
Radio: The officers
were able to follow...
Am I talking to thin air?!
pop?
Pop!
Pop!
- Pop!
- Drive safely. Arrive alive.
- Vocm news. Critch speaking.
- It's pop! Come quick!
- It's pop.
Pop? My god, you
sound more like mark.
This is an awfully clear line.
Gonna have to call the
phone company, let 'em know.
- I am mark! Pop's dead!
- Come home!
Pop: Mm-hmm.
Oh god...
You think he's dead?
No, but... He's gone all yellow.
That's just the poultice.
I think he stopped
taking his pills.
I'm too young to be in charge!
First mom's gonna die, now pop.
You shouldn't have left!
And you shouldn't
have let her go!
- Mark! Enough.
Call 9-1-1.
You think we need an ambulance?
We need two.
I'm having a heart attack.
Don't worry, I'm getting help!
Thank you, connie,
you're such a luv.
- oh, hello, mary.
Jesus! you nearly
gave me a heart attack!
Uh, well, mike already
beat you to it.
Oh my god, are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine.
I just had a touch
of a heart attack.
I got a bit startled
when I found pop dead.
- Uh, dea...
- I'm not dead!
The doctor said I've got
at least ten years left.
If I stop smoking.
He put me down for five.
- When's your surgery?
- Oh.
She already had it, and
she's doing well, but...
You know, this isn't
a legion bingo hall.
Can everybody please just
go back to their rooms?
It's fine, connie, I don't mind.
Could you just give us a moment?
Okay.
I leave you arseholes
alone for 36 hours.
And you wind up
in the hospital?!
Who is minding the boys?
You're the one put
mark in charge.
Only good choice I made
this weekend, apparently!
Jesus this hurts!
- this is delicious.
We should get this at home.
Mark: Everyone we hold
dear is in hospital.
And you throw a party!
Unbelievable.
There's two people.
We-we're playing
cards, get lost!
Hmph! Can't get lost in
my own home now, can I?
That's what this
house is, by the way,
A home.
Which we'll treat with
respect, I imagine.
Mike jr.: Hey! Put that
down! It's a strobe light.
We're gonna listen to some
floyd when it gets dark.
And use it to
trip-ip-ip-ip-ip-ip.
Friends:
Adult mark: My brother was
practically turning our home.
Into an opium den.
Mark. Go.
Hmph!
I've completely
lost control.
Mike's having a party.
There's a musician here!
Cool! Can I come?
Ritchie, homework.
Ah! Mrs. Perez!
How are you, ma'am?
I'm fine, mark.
Ritchie needs to
finish his homework.
- No phone.
- 'kay.
Mike jr.: come on!
There's the sober
perspective I'm after.
Good call, mrs. Perez.
Without a firm
hand at the wheel,
It all comes crumbling down.
Thank you, mark.
- No,
- thank you, mrs. Perez.
- hello?
- still busy.
my god,
I can't even enjoy an operation
to myself with you crowd.
Pop: Uh, wait. Have
you got many stitches?
Because, you know,
a bread poultice.
Will see you right.
You go away with
your bay voodoo.
Mike, you think that...
Dick would look in on them?
Mike is 16 years old,
And mark is older than I am.
You're just full of
comfort, aren't ya?
Jesus!
- Fruit in syrup - gorgeous!
- 100 percent.
Adult mark: Like mrs.
Perez, I came to realize.
That someone had to put
the "hold" in household.
It was up to me
to hold the fort.
When it came to cooking,
I really put the boy
in chef boyardee.
friend: What're ya doin'?
The door? Oh, good god!
It's 6:30 at night!
Mike jr.: Oh! I got it!
Adult mark: In the '80s,
certain cab companies.
Would deliver beer
right to your door,
No questions asked.
- Yes! Thank you!
- Keep the change.
- You bought beer?
- Go back in the kitchen.
Good god!
- Let's see.
- Let's go!
I don't believe you!
You're going full belushi on me.
It's like...
The chateau marmont in here.
You don't even care about
mom, or dad! Or pop...
Hey, of course I'm
worried about them, but...
There's nothing I
can do about it.
And I'm not a bad guy, you know?
This is why no one wants
to hang out with you.
try
being a kid for once.
Adult mark: He was right.
I was driving the only family
I had left away from me.
- Is that all it does?
- Well, I think it's cool!
Yeah!
I think it's kinda crap.
Trippy!
Trip, trip. Come on!
Come on! Trip!
Adult mark: Mike wanted
me to act my age,
But I had never
been my age before.
Trip, trip, trip, trip!
Hey, that's too close.
Who's the party pooper now, huh?
Mark, that's too close!
Adult mark: I don't suppose
there's a good time.
To discover you're
an epileptic...
- Mark!
Adult mark: But this had
to be one of the worst.
mark,
honey, are you okay?
Uh... Where am I?
Who are you?
god, he
doesn't even know us.
Mark, it's mom!
Adult mark: I woke
up after my seizure.
Like dorothy after the tornado.
My brain was fried.
- Are ya on drugs? Huh?
- What is it?
The reefer? Smack? Acid?
The doctor said it's epilepsy.
He had a seizure, that's all.
- Allergic to flashing lights?
- Foolishness!
What you need is
a bread poultice.
Mary: Excuse me, connie?
I need to be
discharged right away.
But, mary, you're supposed
to stay for one more night.
I know, girl, but the only way
I'm gonna get any peace
tonight is if I go home.
Pop: Yeah! Let's get
outta this place.
We were all fine
until we came here!
Ohhh... I-I remember this.
You're all crazy,
And, uh, I worry
about losing you a lot
'cause...
You're old.
What? Not that old.
- I love you.
- Aww...
Well, we're all very
fond of you, too, son.
is there any beer left?
Uh, yeah, there he goes...
Not making any sense again.
Silly, silly boy.
Hey, uh... Why don't
you all go get dressed.
- I'll keep an eye on mark.
- No, I think I should stay.
Mom, it's okay, I got him.
Mark:
mike sr.: All right.
I remember you.
You're my brother.
Welcome back, little brother.
Hmm...
Hey, you uh... You wanna play?
Yeah.
- all right.
war?
- Yeah.
I got you a birthday
present.
- Oh, what'd you get me?
- A new strobe light.
Oh dear...
Adult mark: Despite my
worrying, the grim reaper.
Had finally come knocking,
And misty was the only one home.
Our cat had died,
and the loss for us.
Was as indelible as
her fur on the couch.
I think somebody
should say something.
Uh
16 years is a long
life for a cat.
She did everything she
was supposed to do.
Ate, crapped, licked herself.
Can't ask for much more
outta life than that.
Good cat.
- I never liked her, you know?
It's a sin to say it now,
But she scratched
something awful.
She was family.
Adult mark: That was the first.
And last time I ever
saw my mother cry.
- Oh, somebody say something.
- It's just a cat.
Adult mark: At the time,
I thought that mom.
Was crying for misty,
but looking back,
I think her tears were for
something else she lost.
I still can't remember much,
But did I do a good job
when I was in charge?
Yeah.
Yeah, you did.
Adult mark: Sometimes,
all you need to carry on.
Is someone to help
carry the load.
- Oh, ho, ho...
- hey!
Is the most important
meal of the day,
But seeing how the median
age in our house was 68,
Our breakfast of
champions was pills.
Pop: Oh.
Blues before yellows.
Yellows and reds before
pinks, and then whites.
No. Yellow and red, then blue.
Pink one after you eat.
- White ones are for mark.
- Jesus.
Adult mark: Pop didn't
have much faith in pills.
He preferred the home
remedies he grew up with.
Asthma's not real.
What you need is a
bread poultice. Here.
Adult mark: Ah,
the bread poultice.
Pop's answer to every ailment.
From hangnail to gunshot wound.
Once hardened, it
would supposedly.
Draw out the sickness.
ooh!
Ooh, that would be lovely
with a nice cup of tea.
Hmm.
Adult mark: Mostly it
just ruined your shirt.
eh.
They don't work
by starin' at 'em.
Well, how do we know
they work at all?
'Cause I'm still looking
at your hoary mug.
- Hmm. - Uh, mary?
- Hmm?
Can I talk to you about
the door for a minute?
Are you sure you don't
want me to come with ya.
- To the hospital...
- oh, shh-shh-shh!
I'll be fine.
Very routine
operation, they said.
Besides, the boys need you here.
Look, I'm not very good at
this kinda thing, but...
Come back to me in one piece.
Well, you know, minus the piece.
They're gonna cut out
o' ya or whatever.
I will do that.
Adult mark: The old man was
as smooth as sandpaper...
And half as comforting.
Mary: Eat your breakfast now.
So you can take your
pills that go with food.
What's going on?
Oh, it's nothin' to
worry about, mark.
I just have to go into
the hospital is all.
- Oh! Can I go with you!
- I love a good hospital visit.
Who're we gonna see?
Mm. Doesn't matter,
I'll wear a suit either way.
No, mark, your mother's
going in for a small surgery.
so, hey, you're lucky,
You get to stay with me.
Mary:
Mary, somebody's
got to tell the boy.
Remember, the tall
cans are for you crowd,
The short ones are
for the cat, hmm?
- Are you dying?
- Oh no, mark. No.
Don't be foolish, hmm?
Pop: Well, I'm dying,
your father's dying,
The cat's dying, the whole
bloody house is dying,
But your mother
will outlive us all.
taxi's here!
Wha... uh, you're
going right now?!
You're not even dressed!
Ah, what do I need to
be dressed for, hmm?
Only gonna to be puttin' on a
robe as soon as I get there.
Oh, mark, you're a big boy now.
Look, you're in charge, okay?
Now you just keep an
eye on everything here.
While I'm gone,
And I'll come back
fit as a fiddle.
Give us a hug, huh?
Yeah.
You be a good boy.
Adult mark: I was the
man of the house now,
But our house didn't
need another man;
It needed a mom.
Hey, we've got tinned spaghetti.
Or purr-fect feast.
You know, with a name like that,
I am leaning purr-fect feast.
No.
Fox: Wanna know your fortune?
What's the point? We're
all just gonna die anyway.
So... That's a no.
What's your problem?
My mom's having surgery,
but I don't know what kind.
You're so weird. How can you
not know something like that?
They don't want me to worry,
which makes me worried.
Adult mark: I was used to
hospitals and even wakes,
But the thought of losing
my mother terrified me.
Not that my friends noticed.
Pick a colour.
- Uh... Red.
- R-e-d.
Pick a number.
- Four.
- One, two, three, four.
Now, read your
fortune, dumb-ass.
- "You're dead." ha!
- What does that mean?
If I catch you,
Then you're gonna be
the one in the hospital.
Well?
mark!
Adult mark: I needed
friends my own age.
-
- I needed pop.
- Ugh! What stinks?
- Mm-hmm!
Supper. Ready.
Mark: Is that spaghetti
in the cat bowl?
- Mm-hmm.
- Then what's in there?
Canmash.
- What's that?
- Well, go into the cupboard,
Get all the cans I can,
And mash 'em all
together. Delicious!
Ah, mike, here. Try that.
- Ah, looks good, pop.
- Yeah, yeah, good.
- Mm-hmm.
- How is it?
- Come on, one to ten.
- ten.
Adult mark: The
choices were clear:
Starvation or food poisoning.
Mm-hmm. All good, girl.
My goodness, connie, you
have got a gentle touch.
- it's more like a spa.
Than a hospital 'round here.
Sin to say, but...
Sometimes it's nice to
be away from the family.
Girl, I knows all
too much about it.
I got two boys,
and that's enough.
- Oh, I got the same.
- Oh, really?
Mm. Truth be told though,
The boys are not the
hard part, it's the...
- The men? Hmm.
- Yes.
- I got one of them too.
- Mm...
Both:
Well, I suppose
it'll all be okay.
The worst part is
they're just...
Well, there isn't anyone
I can really talk to.
About it at home, so...
It'll be okay, believe me.
I knows all too much about it.
Yeah. Hmm.
Now you get to put
your feet up for once!
- oh my...
Maclean's, chatelaine, owl.
- Mark loves that one.
- Mm-hmm.
I think I'll go with chatelaine.
- Proper damn thing!
- Thank you.
- Want a cup o' tea?
- Oh yes, dear.
- Where's the kettle?
- Oh, no.
No, you lie down.
Read your magazine.
- What?
- I'll get it for ya.
Oh!
Connie, I'm movin' in for good.
- You're welcome to it.
Announcement: Dr. Patterson
to the er, please.
That's dr. Patterson...
Pop, ya gotta take your pills!
Hmph. Bloody drug pusher.
Uh, mary critch's room, please?
Pop: This is what I'm after.
Mustard and bread.
Can't beat it.
Mike sr.: Hello, mary?
Mary: mark?
- What?
- Mark?
- Let me have that again.
- The line's very bad.
what the frig?
You go under the knife
at 9:00 a.M., you say?
- My god!
- Good god!
This line is terrible!
I'm gonna have to call
the phone company.
I mean, what the
hell am I paying for?
- what does dr. Fisher say?
Adult mark: Kids overhear
more than their parents think,
Especially when everything
they say is shouted.
I listened to every word
for a glimmer of truth.
- A full hysterectomy?
- I was a good bit surprised.
- now don't worry about us.
We have things well in
hand. You just rest.
Hello?! Mary? Mary? Hello?!
- She's dead.
Uh, the line. The line's dead.
Terrible line.
That was your mother. She's
having a wonderful time.
Cat hasn't even
touched her noodles.
Puss! Puthy, puthy, puthy!
Adult mark: Misty was our cat.
She only appeared for feedings.
Like everything in our
house, she was old.
Dad loved the cat almost
as much as it hated him.
- agh! She's a bloody lynx!
Misty:
Mike sr.: Goddamn cat.
- Pop?
- Yes, sir.
Am I gonna have to have
a hysternmectomy one day?
Mm. Maybe.
Maybe not.
Probably not.
How do you know?
You know, sometimes a flower
loses its petals... Mm.
Mm...
No pollen then.
Bees come buzzin' around.
Lookin' for this,
that and the other,
But you're not gonna
get stung by a bee,
'cause if they sting you,
Then they have to rip
their own arse out.
And if they rip
their own arse out,
Well, then...
They just die.
That's what's wrong
with your mother.
More or less. Mm...
Adult mark: I didn't know why
pop needed all those pills,
But it was becoming clear
that he needed them.
More than the bread poultice.
Ah, they wouldn't let
me in with flat feet.
Oh...
Those bouncing bombs...
Amazing.
Skip, skip, skip.
Hit the dam,
Sank,
Boom.
Ah, the bastards.
Pop?
Did you take your pills?
Okay.
- Mm...
- Night, pop.
Mm...
Good cat.
radio:
And now mike critch.
- With the vcom news!
- Mike! You up?
- Radio: Were called the scene...
- Your bus'll be here soon.
- Radio: Two youths...
- Mike?!
I'm gone.
Oh, you give and you give,
but they just don't care.
Radio: They were disappointed
with the fried chicken
pop?!
Pop?!
Can no one answer
me this morning?!
Radio: The officers
were able to follow...
Am I talking to thin air?!
pop?
Pop!
Pop!
- Pop!
- Drive safely. Arrive alive.
- Vocm news. Critch speaking.
- It's pop! Come quick!
- It's pop.
Pop? My god, you
sound more like mark.
This is an awfully clear line.
Gonna have to call the
phone company, let 'em know.
- I am mark! Pop's dead!
- Come home!
Pop: Mm-hmm.
Oh god...
You think he's dead?
No, but... He's gone all yellow.
That's just the poultice.
I think he stopped
taking his pills.
I'm too young to be in charge!
First mom's gonna die, now pop.
You shouldn't have left!
And you shouldn't
have let her go!
- Mark! Enough.
Call 9-1-1.
You think we need an ambulance?
We need two.
I'm having a heart attack.
Don't worry, I'm getting help!
Thank you, connie,
you're such a luv.
- oh, hello, mary.
Jesus! you nearly
gave me a heart attack!
Uh, well, mike already
beat you to it.
Oh my god, are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine.
I just had a touch
of a heart attack.
I got a bit startled
when I found pop dead.
- Uh, dea...
- I'm not dead!
The doctor said I've got
at least ten years left.
If I stop smoking.
He put me down for five.
- When's your surgery?
- Oh.
She already had it, and
she's doing well, but...
You know, this isn't
a legion bingo hall.
Can everybody please just
go back to their rooms?
It's fine, connie, I don't mind.
Could you just give us a moment?
Okay.
I leave you arseholes
alone for 36 hours.
And you wind up
in the hospital?!
Who is minding the boys?
You're the one put
mark in charge.
Only good choice I made
this weekend, apparently!
Jesus this hurts!
- this is delicious.
We should get this at home.
Mark: Everyone we hold
dear is in hospital.
And you throw a party!
Unbelievable.
There's two people.
We-we're playing
cards, get lost!
Hmph! Can't get lost in
my own home now, can I?
That's what this
house is, by the way,
A home.
Which we'll treat with
respect, I imagine.
Mike jr.: Hey! Put that
down! It's a strobe light.
We're gonna listen to some
floyd when it gets dark.
And use it to
trip-ip-ip-ip-ip-ip.
Friends:
Adult mark: My brother was
practically turning our home.
Into an opium den.
Mark. Go.
Hmph!
I've completely
lost control.
Mike's having a party.
There's a musician here!
Cool! Can I come?
Ritchie, homework.
Ah! Mrs. Perez!
How are you, ma'am?
I'm fine, mark.
Ritchie needs to
finish his homework.
- No phone.
- 'kay.
Mike jr.: come on!
There's the sober
perspective I'm after.
Good call, mrs. Perez.
Without a firm
hand at the wheel,
It all comes crumbling down.
Thank you, mark.
- No,
- thank you, mrs. Perez.
- hello?
- still busy.
my god,
I can't even enjoy an operation
to myself with you crowd.
Pop: Uh, wait. Have
you got many stitches?
Because, you know,
a bread poultice.
Will see you right.
You go away with
your bay voodoo.
Mike, you think that...
Dick would look in on them?
Mike is 16 years old,
And mark is older than I am.
You're just full of
comfort, aren't ya?
Jesus!
- Fruit in syrup - gorgeous!
- 100 percent.
Adult mark: Like mrs.
Perez, I came to realize.
That someone had to put
the "hold" in household.
It was up to me
to hold the fort.
When it came to cooking,
I really put the boy
in chef boyardee.
friend: What're ya doin'?
The door? Oh, good god!
It's 6:30 at night!
Mike jr.: Oh! I got it!
Adult mark: In the '80s,
certain cab companies.
Would deliver beer
right to your door,
No questions asked.
- Yes! Thank you!
- Keep the change.
- You bought beer?
- Go back in the kitchen.
Good god!
- Let's see.
- Let's go!
I don't believe you!
You're going full belushi on me.
It's like...
The chateau marmont in here.
You don't even care about
mom, or dad! Or pop...
Hey, of course I'm
worried about them, but...
There's nothing I
can do about it.
And I'm not a bad guy, you know?
This is why no one wants
to hang out with you.
try
being a kid for once.
Adult mark: He was right.
I was driving the only family
I had left away from me.
- Is that all it does?
- Well, I think it's cool!
Yeah!
I think it's kinda crap.
Trippy!
Trip, trip. Come on!
Come on! Trip!
Adult mark: Mike wanted
me to act my age,
But I had never
been my age before.
Trip, trip, trip, trip!
Hey, that's too close.
Who's the party pooper now, huh?
Mark, that's too close!
Adult mark: I don't suppose
there's a good time.
To discover you're
an epileptic...
- Mark!
Adult mark: But this had
to be one of the worst.
mark,
honey, are you okay?
Uh... Where am I?
Who are you?
god, he
doesn't even know us.
Mark, it's mom!
Adult mark: I woke
up after my seizure.
Like dorothy after the tornado.
My brain was fried.
- Are ya on drugs? Huh?
- What is it?
The reefer? Smack? Acid?
The doctor said it's epilepsy.
He had a seizure, that's all.
- Allergic to flashing lights?
- Foolishness!
What you need is
a bread poultice.
Mary: Excuse me, connie?
I need to be
discharged right away.
But, mary, you're supposed
to stay for one more night.
I know, girl, but the only way
I'm gonna get any peace
tonight is if I go home.
Pop: Yeah! Let's get
outta this place.
We were all fine
until we came here!
Ohhh... I-I remember this.
You're all crazy,
And, uh, I worry
about losing you a lot
'cause...
You're old.
What? Not that old.
- I love you.
- Aww...
Well, we're all very
fond of you, too, son.
is there any beer left?
Uh, yeah, there he goes...
Not making any sense again.
Silly, silly boy.
Hey, uh... Why don't
you all go get dressed.
- I'll keep an eye on mark.
- No, I think I should stay.
Mom, it's okay, I got him.
Mark:
mike sr.: All right.
I remember you.
You're my brother.
Welcome back, little brother.
Hmm...
Hey, you uh... You wanna play?
Yeah.
- all right.
war?
- Yeah.
I got you a birthday
present.
- Oh, what'd you get me?
- A new strobe light.
Oh dear...
Adult mark: Despite my
worrying, the grim reaper.
Had finally come knocking,
And misty was the only one home.
Our cat had died,
and the loss for us.
Was as indelible as
her fur on the couch.
I think somebody
should say something.
Uh
16 years is a long
life for a cat.
She did everything she
was supposed to do.
Ate, crapped, licked herself.
Can't ask for much more
outta life than that.
Good cat.
- I never liked her, you know?
It's a sin to say it now,
But she scratched
something awful.
She was family.
Adult mark: That was the first.
And last time I ever
saw my mother cry.
- Oh, somebody say something.
- It's just a cat.
Adult mark: At the time,
I thought that mom.
Was crying for misty,
but looking back,
I think her tears were for
something else she lost.
I still can't remember much,
But did I do a good job
when I was in charge?
Yeah.
Yeah, you did.
Adult mark: Sometimes,
all you need to carry on.
Is someone to help
carry the load.
- Oh, ho, ho...
- hey!