Somebody Feed Phil (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 5 - Hawaii - full transcript
Exploring the aloha spirit on the beaches and beyond, Phil enjoys poke, shave ice, huli huli chicken, poi and-gasp-even a few outdoor adventures
[high-pitched ringing sound]
[inhales, sniffles]
Welcome to An Old Jew
On Loose Jagged Rocks.
This is, uh, an incredible landscape
on the Big Island
because a lot of it
is relatively new lava flow
that when it cools and hardens,
turns into this black lava rock.
It's very rough, very jagged,
and so my brother thought,
"Why don't you go walk around in that?"
This is not where people go.
I don't like this.
The problem is,
even when you put your hands down,
you cut your hands.
It's like a--
a pile of charcoal briquettes
if they were mixed in with glass.
Why am I doing this?
I recommend it for hiking.
Thanks, Richard.
Ow.
Idiot.
[theme music playing]
♪ A happy, hungry man ♪
♪ Is traveling all across
The sea and the land ♪
♪ He's trying to understand ♪
♪ The art of pasta,
pork, chicken and lamb ♪
♪ He will drive to you ♪
♪ He will fly to you ♪
♪ He will sing for you ♪
♪ And dance for you ♪
♪ He will laugh with you ♪
♪ And he'll cry for you ♪
♪ There's just one thing
he asks in return ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Can somebody, somebody feed Phil? ♪
♪ Somebody feed him now ♪
Who watched The Price is Right
or Let's Make a Deal growing up, like me,
every day after school?
-[bell ringing]
-[cheering]
And what was the grand prize
always at the end?
"You're going to Waikiki,
beautiful Honolulu, Hawaii."
[Hawaiian music playing]
It seemed like the place
you want to go on vacation.
It seemed like a dream.
And I've gotten to come now,
a couple times,
and there's just so much energy here.
And Honolulu is a great major city
with lots to do.
And most people don't think
of Hawaii as a food destination,
but they don't realize that
all the cultures
of the Pacific Rim are here…
and so is their food.
There's just so much I want
to show you.
But the one Hawaiian dish
that seems to be everywhere,
I'm still not totally sold on.
I don't know, maybe a trip
to this place will change my mind.
I've never been a poke fan.
I've only eaten it on the mainland,
and I-- I can't say I love it.
They-- It's kind of potschke,
with all kinds of stuff on it,
and I was thinking, "If the fish was good,
right, it would be sushi."
But we're going to a place
called Ahi Assassins,
which is hidden away
on the top floor of a strip mall.
-[man] Aloha, welcome.
-Hello!
-There's the man.
-Hi.
-How are you, my brother? Gooch.
-Hi, Gooch.
Mark Noguchi is a great chef in Honolulu,
and he wants to change my mind about poke.
-I have a confession to make.
-Yeah?
-I don't-- I don't really like poke.
-That's it. I quit! I'm out.
-Get out of here!
-[Noguchi] I'm out of here.
[Phil] This is Erika and Josh,
who run Ahi Assassins.
They care deeply
about where they get their fish,
how it's sourced,
how it's cut, how fresh it is.
Poke actually is not raw fish.
Poke is the Hawaiian word
for a dice, a cut.
Oh, the only time I've had it
has been in these chains.
-[Noguchi] We won't talk about 'em.
-That's not it.
-[Phil] This is not that.
-No.
This is you guys going out every morning--
We're the ones that catch it, cut it.
You're the one that will consume it.
There's no middleman or markup.
You're not gonna get 101 toppings,
but you are gonna get fresh fish.
That was the problem.
So, this is pake poke.
That is cold ginger sauce.
-[Phil] See what happens to you.
-[Erika] Aw, cute.
[Phil] I could tell immediately,
just looking at it.
This is not what I'm used to, right?
[Erika] Right.
That's beautiful.
You know, if you've only had poke
in some chain back on the mainland,
this will blow your mind.
You can taste the fish, right?
That's what it's all about.
Yes, it's super fresh.
Well, this looks a little spicy.
So that is our Lunatic.
So the original lunatic is right here.
[all laughing]
I've been chasing fish all of my life.
-I've never caught a fish…
-Here we go.
…that I've wanted
to keep as much as this one.
Jesus Christ!
-Oh, my God!
-Comparing you to a fish.
[Noguchi] Better make a baby
after that one.
[all laughing]
-Nice, huh? Spicy, sweet…
-It's great.
What's this?
Hawaiian Style.
It has roasted kukui nuts inside.
I don't know what that is.
[Noguchi] Hawaiians didn't have
chili peppers before Western contact,
and so Hawaiians seasoned with salt,
limu, or seaweed,
and inamona, which is that.
So, inamona is roasted kukui nuts,
comes out from a tree.
Those are the three
predominant methods of seasoning.
[Phil] Is it only tuna?
So whatever they're catching
is what we're serving.
[Phil] Really?
[Joshua] We preach sustainability.
-What?
-We got something special for you.
-[Phil] Now this is what?
-Ahi bone.
That's the prime rib of the ahi.
We believe in using
all of the fish that you catch.
It got a little blood.
You get the marrow in there,
and all the flavor, all the nutrients.
That's where you get
all your broth, your stock.
I love it!
It's equivalent to chicken wings,
but with fish. Everything but the--
-Healthier.
-Yeah.
-Tastes fantastic.
-[munching]
As a kid growing up,
these are the parts that we ate.
My dad told me that these were the best.
The bones, the bellies, the collars.
What I didn't know was that
he sold all the loins,
-is why we had the bones--
-Don't sell your loins.
[laughing]
Good advice.
So guess what?
I like poke.
Waikiki in Honolulu is one
of the most famous beaches in the world,
and it's easy to see why.
Look at the water. Look at the blue.
Wha-- It's like the color of this.
The mountains.
Diamond Head is right there.
The beach is pristine.
The sand is gorgeous.
And today I'm here to do this.
Are-- are you my ride?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
-You've done this before, right?
-[boater 1] How are you?
[boaters] A couple times.
When we go out, first, uh…
-This is our paddle. When I say, "Hut…"
-[Phil] Yeah.
-[boater 2] You go, "Hoo!"
-Hoo!
Change sides.
If we go over, I'm telling you now,
I'm sorry.
The place of departure
is a place where somebody took
a three-hour tour.
Yes! This is the marina
where they shot Gilligan's Island. Yes.
And so, you'll never see me again.
Nothing makes your body look
more like your body
than a rash guard.
Like, your body looks way worse
stuffed into a sausage casing
than if you just let it go.
Probably should have gone
to the bathroom before this, right?
The bathroom's everywhere, Phil.
[Phil] Nice. Remind me not to go swimming.
-Wow, this is a skinny fit.
-[boater 1] Yeah.
Yeah, tell us about it.
[chuckling]
-[Phil] This is right, right?
-[boater 2] Yes.
[Phil] All right, I got you guys.
You don't worry.
[boater 3] All right.
[Phil] I'm an outdoorsman.
Uh-oh, waves.
[chuckles]
-[boater] Hut!
-[all] Hoo!
Now when you have a new guy in the boat,
can you tell if that guy
is pulling his weight
or is slowing you down?
[boater 1] Uh, we know.
You know.
[boater 2] Everybody knows, Phil.
-Hoo!
-Hoo!
I got my "hoo" down. You gotta admit.
All right, we're gonna catch a wave now?
Oh, here we go.
[boater] Hut!
Hoo!
[boaters] Hut-hut-hut!
[Phil] Oh, boy.
Ya-ha.
-[boater] Hoo!
-Hoo!
[singing Hawaii Five-0 theme song]
[screams]
-So I have a question for you guys.
-[boaters] Yeah?
Moana. Good or wack?
-[boater 1] Good!
-Good?
[boater 1] My daughters love that show.
That's nice.
To look at Waikiki and Honolulu
from that perspective of the water
is gorgeous.
These boys are gorgeous! Look at them.
Fit right in.
[upbeat music playing]
I wanted to thank them
for me not drowning.
And so I wanted to show them
something I'm good at,
which is eating a lot of hot dogs.
Here we go.
-[man] All right.
-[Phil] Here we go.
They have a lot of choices,
so I thought what we would do
was get everything.
-[boater 1] I'm not gonna argue that.
-All the dogs, please.
-How are you?
-My name is Phil.
-Who are you?
-My name is Hank.
-He's Hank!
-Welcome!
[cheering]
-Yeah, yeah!
-[laughing]
-Hank! You're gonna do it up.
-[Hank] I'm gonna do it up.
[Phil] I'm feeding the boys gourmet stuff
at Hank's Haute, not "Hot," Haute Dogs,
courtesy of the man himself,
Hank Adaniya.
All right, we deserve it.
We conquered the waves.
Thanks, Phil.
-[boater 2] Cheers.
-[Phil] Do you remember meeting each other
for the first time
and the first impressions?
I remember seeing this guy
after one race, and he was crying.
[Phil] He was crying from the race?
I had salt in my eye.
[chuckling]
He's a poor sport.
He doesn't like to lose.
-[boater 2] I don't like to lose.
-What do you do when you're not rowing?
-[Phil] You're a plumber.
-Plumber.
[Phil] You?
I used to work-- elevator industry
with this guy and that guy. Yeah.
How's business? You know…
[boater 3] It's got its ups and downs.
That's it!
[all laughing]
Yes!
-[man 4] They're trying to-- That's right.
-[Phil] All I want--
-I was waiting for that line, Phil.
-I live to set you up.
That made me happy.
Now we can go on the road.
-Only, it's--
-Hot dogs!
Hot dogs! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
You guys can jump in whenever you want.
Just grab.
[Hank] Kobe. So wagyu beef, bacon-wrapped,
deep-fried hot dog, like a BLT.
[Phil] Do it. I'm proud of you.
We got a lot of dogs, guys.
We gotta do some work here.
-I got a lot of guys.
-[boater 4] All right.
[Hank chuckles] This is a Polish dog.
[Phil] How is it? You like it?
Oh, yeah. Hey. It's a good hot dog.
[Phil] Guys, you're slowing down.
How am I eating more than you?
What's that one?
-Spicy Louisiana style.
-Who wants it?
-You should have it.
-All right. I will.
Yeah, you gotta eat more.
Gotta nice shirt that is you, basically.
I'm on the team!
[clapping, laughing]
-Thank you. I'm putting it on.
-There you go.
Practice tomorrow, 6:00 a.m.
I'll be there. But if I'm not there,
don't wait for me.
[all laughing]
SPLINTERED PADDLE
[Phil]
The coolest neighborhood in Honolulu
is the arts district of Kaka'ako,
famous for its ever-growing collection
of murals.
Shops, galleries and restaurants
have taken over
where warehouses and auto shops
once stood.
Look for it on an Instagram feed near you.
I've had shaved ice before,
like a snow cone.
But this is no snow cone.
And the master of this
is a man named Uncle Clay.
So we're going to Uncle Clay's House
of Pure Aloha.
You must be Uncle Clay, is that right?
I'm just another Hawaiian uncle.
Welcome to our ohana.
Oh. Oh. Wow.
I forgot to ask if you're comfortable
with being hugged.
-I'm really not, but I'll take another.
-Okay.
Have seconds.
-You want thirds?
-Sure.
[chuckles]
[muffled] Welcome to our ohana.
Look at this beautiful couple.
-[Clay] Bronson and Katie.
-That's your nephew, right?
Yes, my brother's son.
-And his newlywed wife.
-They're married.
-[Clay] And I got something for you.
-Oh.
-A lei. A fine leprechaun.
-Thank you.
[chuckles]
Thank you, Uncle Clay.
Oh, another one. [chuckles]
Hawaii's for huggers. We take the word
ohana to heart, you know?
Ohana means…
-[whispers] Family.
-Yes.
Originating in Taiwan,
this treat was first brought
to the islands in the late 1800s
by Japanese immigrants
coming to work on one
of the many sugar plantations here.
But in Hawaii, it's called "shave ice,"
not "shaved ice."
So make sure you say it right, people.
I want to try everything.
Everything, one to five.
I don't need pumpkin spice.
There's enough pumpkin spice in the world.
I read that you wanted to have a store
like this since you were a little boy.
-I was eight years old.
-Come on.
-A thousand years ago.
-Hee-hee.
I would come in
with all the neighborhood kids.
-Yeah.
-The words would explode from my heart.
"I want to own this store someday!"
-Really?
-So, yes. I dreamed the dream.
I feel now I have a responsibility
to share with as many ohana
throughout the world
-that dreams really come true, Phil.
-Who's like you? Nobody.
Aren't we all individual, unique,
beautifully created masterpieces?
Eh, some. [chuckling]
Look!
-Here's your first one.
-What is it?
Strawberry Dream.
-[Clay] Ooh.
-Speaking of dreams, right?
We make our own syrups.
Homemade, all-natural.
Heart.
This is phenomenal.
Come on, I have to share right away.
You don't mind that I took a bite
of this already?
-Thank you.
-No.
I think you'll like it. Enjoy.
Uncle Clay, can you be my uncle?
I would be honored!
In Hawaii, we say hanai.
Yes. Hanai.
-Hanai, which means "adopted."
-Yes.
-As of this very moment.
-I'm adopted?
You're my hanai son.
Wow.
Can I borrow $50?
Oh, sh-- I lost my wallet.
Once in a while, you meet a guy
who is just light and love
and warmth and beauty
and everything that's sweet about living
all wrapped up in one cute little package.
[laughing]
This is fantastic.
I usually love to feed my ohana.
Literally feed my ohana.
-You could do it right now.
-May I?
Of course.
Okay, ready?
How is that?
Wow. That's my coffee in the morning.
-Whoo-hoo.
-[chuckles]
Give me another.
[chuckles] Oh.
-All right, hanai son.
-Thank you.
You know who I want you to feed?
That guy over there.
-Big John over there.
-[laughing]
[chuckling]
-Delicious.
-All right.
-Feed the next guy.
-This is real ohana.
We're sharing the same spoon. [laughing]
Oh, my goodness!
Ooh.
I'm flying high. I was born to serve.
This guy needs…
Oh, yes. Matt.
Oh, he rolled his eyes. [chuckling]
We didn't feed Richard yet? That's okay.
[all laughing]
-There you go, Richard.
-Yeah, thanks.
[Phil] Richard,
that's a great chocolate dessert.
I'll have another one.
-[Phil] He had enough. Come on.
-[laughing]
Don't adopt him.
So we're leaving Honolulu today
and taking a day trip
up to O'ahu's North Shore.
We're going to the site
of the most famous wave in the world.
Look at this. This is Hawaii.
And this is the famous Pipeline.
It makes that curl so you actually see
a pipeline, right?
-[woman] That's what it's named for.
-See, I know something about sports.
Jenn Marr's lived by the Pipeline
since she was a teenager.
Now, she's a trained chef, entrepreneur,
and part-time caretaker
of the legendary surfer hangout,
Volcom House.
So basically, she's the ambassador
for the North Shore.
Every year, they decide
the world champion right here.
These are some of the best surfers
in the world.
-[Jenn] We'll get ya out there on a board.
-[Phil] No, you won't!
I'm not crazy.
It looks so frigging dangerous.
[Jenn] Respecting the ocean is number one
here. Mother Nature does not care.
-Whoa!
-[Jenn] Tried to do a little air there.
[Phil] How long have you lived here?
[Jenn] I've lived on the North Shore
for about 35 years.
-This is like paradise.
-It is beautiful.
Except for the death.
Wait, who's this beautiful girl?
That's my granddaughter, Lei Aloha.
-[Phil] Come and say hello.
-Come and say hi?
Come here. Hi. Let's see how cold
the water is, should we?
[Jenn] Don't get too close,
in case a rogue wave comes.
A rogue wave?
-[Jenn] A rogue wave.
-[Lei] Yeah.
[Phil] Feels good.
[Jenn] Watch out. This wave's coming up.
[shrieks]
-[Lei] It got me.
-[Jenn chuckles]
Almost got me.
Wow, beautiful. Look at this.
Jenn's got a real family, of course,
but she's like a mom
to some of these kids.
Wow, what a ride. Look at this guy.
Wow!
Look at this kid. His name is Kanahi.
He came out of the water.
He's seven feet tall.
He looks like something out of Avatar.
I couldn't believe this is a person.
But he's a superhuman.
How long have you been doing this?
Since I was about three,
so, 14 years, maybe?
Wow, that's pretty tall for 17, huh?
Come on, we're gonna go eat something.
Here we come.
The warriors of the surf.
This is the famous house
that I've read about.
[Kanahi] Yeah, this is, uh, Volcom House.
[Phil] We're sitting in this house
called the Volcom House,
which is where all the surfers hang.
They come from all over the world
to surf that wave,
and here's a place for them to crash.
It's some life.
So what we have here
is a little "Breakfast of Champions."
-Smashed potatoes.
-Love 'em.
Then we have macadamia nut
banana pancakes
and a variety of local fresh
tropical fruits.
A lot of these I picked myself yesterday.
Who wants to eat with us?
Come on, people. Look at that. Come on!
-[Jenn] Derek, whoever wants to come.
-[man] Aloha!
Mahalo.
Welcome to our all-you-can-eat buffet.
-[Lei] Yeah.
-[man] This is amazing.
[Phil] Jenn's food is everything
you want Hawaii to be.
You know, macadamia nut banana pancakes
and gorgeous fruit
and, um, with gorgeous people.
It's a good diet,
I would say, right? The surf diet?
[Jenn] These guys didn't
always have it this good.
Back in the day, the North Shore,
it was like floor space only.
I'd come over, I'd spend 20 bucks a night
to sleep on somebody's floor
to surf the waves on the North Shore.
And now, since surfing's come up
into its own a lot more,
companies started buying
the beachfront properties up and down.
Now all these guys don't know
how spoiled they have it.
[Hawaiian music playing]
This was quite a morning.
It's so outside of my lifestyle,
but it's nice to see other lifestyles.
-All the worldly matters go away, right?
-Pretty much.
[Phil] The whole world goes away,
and it's just about you and these waves.
-And being together, right?
-[Jenn] It's like a big family, you know?
The whole spirit,
the whole aloha spirit. It's a real thing.
When you're in the surf world
and you're in that surf family,
it's like everywhere you go,
you're kind of a little bit home.
[Phil] We don't have to go, do we, people?
-Yeah, you do.
-[Jenn laughs]
Why can't we stay here for a while?
Like a… few more years?
[Jenn] Why not? [laughs]
[Phil] The diversity of Honolulu means
there's so much good food you get here.
Amazing stuff, like old-school Vietnamese
from The Pig and the Lady
that would be right at home in Saigon.
Mama Le, a great honor to meet you.
I love the food here. It's fantastic.
Thank you.
[Phil] That looks beautiful.
It's just straight-up delicious.
Oh, my goodness, stop.
It might be the best pho I ever had.
Then you got your high-end splurge places
like Senia
from chefs Anthony Rush and Chris Kajioka,
where my friend Megan Murphy
and I had a very nice tasting menu.
[chef] Smoked three times. Smoked raw,
smoked when we cook it,
and smoked again now.
Wow.
[Megan] I only want my salmon smoked
three times from now on.
[gasps] Thank you so much.
What?
What holds them all together
is the desire to celebrate
the ingredients and traditions of Hawaii,
which is Ed Kenney's whole deal
at his great restaurant, Mud Hen Water.
I mean, where else are you
going to find chef-y luau food?
Octopus!
It's one of those luau celebration dishes.
And then pa'i'ai,
which is hand-pounded taro root
brushed with shoyu sugar with nori.
I can definitely taste
the pure aloha in your cooking.
-Your creations.
-[Ed] Oh-ho.Thank you.
From you, that's incredible!
That's actually not
a really great review from him.
[all laugh]
[Phil] Being a string of islands
set in the middle of the Pacific Ocean
means that Hawaii imports 90% of its food.
So they really have to make the most
of what they can grow themselves,
and that awareness starts early here
at Hale'iwa Elementary School.
-Hi, how are you? Welcome.
-Nice to meet you.
-We hug in Hawaii.
-Thank you.
Well, I like that.
Natalie and Joe lead
the AINA In Schools program,
teaching kids everything from nutrition
to composting and gardening.
Go through the list and try and decide
if you think they're a good buddy
for our garden.
[Phil] My buddy's name is Skyler.
What about earthworms? Good, right?
I know about earthworms.
They aerate the soil, right?
This is good.
[Phil] Ladybug? They're pretty too.
How about millipedes?
I don't know either.
[Joe] Look at the bottom of these leaves
to see if you can find a caterpillar
for our monarch butterflies.
[Phil]
Should we ask Joe if that's an aphid?
[Joe] Very good find.
Let's see what else you will find.
Have you found ice cream out here?
-Hey!
-Hey!
-Hi.
-Hello.
What would you like?
-I'm excited.
-And you want sprinkles?
[Skyler] I found out something.
[Phil] Yes?
[Skyler] Caterpillars eat the leaves.
They eat the leaves.
[Skyler] 'Cause leaves are good for them.
Leaves are good for them.
And they keep on growing,
and then they turn into cocoons.
That's right.
-Here we go!
-Who's next?
[Natalie] What do you think
about these ice creams?
-They're good!
-It's good!
-[Phil] You can't finish it?
-Yes, sir.
-[Phil] You want to give it to my brother?
-Yeah.
He's over there. He finishes everything
I don't eat. Right there, that guy.
-Want it?
-You could say, "Here, eat this."
-Thank you.
-[laughs] Enjoy it, Richard.
[kids laugh]
Ha, ha, Richard.
Everybody, say, "Ha, ha, Richard!"
Ha, ha, Richard!
[kids laugh]
[Hawaiian music playing]
Now we're going from Honolulu and O'ahu
to the Big Island of Hawaii.
They call it the Big Island
because all the other islands could fit
in this one island of Hawaii twice.
[Richard] I didn't know that.
Yeah. My driver told me.
[all laughing]
I know when you look at me,
you go, "Wow, that is an adventurer."
"This is a stud."
Well, today your fantasy comes true.
-[steam bursting]
-[guide 1] Whoo!
What was that?
Just a backfire.
[chuckling]
[engine rattling]
[Phil]
It's a nice smooth ride on this--
[guide 1] Yeah, basically the goal
is to shake the butterflies out
-before we get up to the top.
-Oh, yeah, they're shaken out.
So is everything else.
[all laughing]
[guide 1] Don't fight it, ride it.
Stupid Richard.
[guide 1] See those empty green plots
out there?
-Is that where you'll bury me?
-[laughs]
[guide 1] Up and over the shoulders
with these bad boys.
How much weight is placed
in the crotchal area?
Uh, not too much.
Just enough to keep you awake.
This is actually what I wore
on my wedding night.
-[all laughing]
-Sounds like a great time, my friend.
[Phil] If you hadn't already guessed,
I'm going zip-lining.
It says, "Danger keep off."
As long as you're not
on that little black line, you're good.
[Phil] I don't like getting
to the edge of this thing.
A couple things you don't want to do
with the braking.
You want to look up so you don't brake
on this top cable.
You also want to be behind
this metal trolley.
You don't want to put your hands
in the front obviously.
You know what? I don't think I'm…
My-- my thing is not right.
All right. Here we go.
[Richard] Send it!
Whee-hee!
[Phil] Oh, this is fast. This is fast.
Oh!
Oh, God. Oh, God.
[guide 2] Not in front, Phil.
Not in front. There you go.
I got you. You're good.
So Phil, what you can do now
is hug this tree.
-I will.
-[guide 2] Right there. Perfect.
This one, you have to lean this way
or you hit a tree.
It's getting a little scarier.
All right, here we go.
Oy!
Ya!
Oh, God.
Ah-ha-ha.
-Whoo!
-Yeah, man, clean!
That was fast!
[guide 2 chuckles]
The advice for this is,
"Don't step in the holes."
In between each zip line ride,
now they say, "Oh, and now
you're gonna go across this bridge,"
but they haven't built a, uh, uh,
bridge that you would want to cross.
There's big, gaping holes
in between the planks.
Ya-ha!
This would be hard for me
if it wasn't hundreds of feet in the air.
[guide 3]
Be careful of the steps that spin.
-Just messing with you. Come on down.
-[Phil] That's not funny.
-Avoid the holes. Oh, God.
-[guide 3 chuckles]
[Phil] Here's another one.
-[guide 3] This is our last zip line.
-Are you going first--
-[guide 3] He'll go first.
-Okay.
Now that you're comfortable zipping,
we thought we'd mix it up for you a bit.
-Just to make me uncomfortable again.
-Absolutely.
You enjoy yourself.
I'll see you on the other side.
Yee-hoo!
Look where we are.
We're in the top of the trees.
It's kind of beautiful, right?
-Ready?
-[guide 4] Ready.
Goodbye!
Yee-hee!
I'm looking down.
I am not afraid!
Look at me now! Look at me now!
This is our last ride.
I think we get lunch now.
I think we're going to have some chicken.
-Yes, sir!
-Yes!
Well done up there, man.
You made it! [chuckling]
-Good job.
-I'm alive!
I was afraid,
and then I conquered my fear!
Where to next, gentlemen?
Chicken?
One of my favorite things
about doing the show
is when my family gets to join me.
So I wanted Ben to be in Hawaii with me,
and I'm taking him
to GJ's Huli Huli Chicken.
Yes. Welcome, aloha!
-Are you GJ?
-Yes.
My name is Gil. Jo, uh,
J is Jonalyn, my wife.
-Nice.
-And then my boy, Irvin GJ.
-That's your boy?
-Yeah.
Guess what? That's my boy. This is Ben.
You're the talk of the island.
Your chicken, your pork. I want to taste
whatever you want to give me.
I'm gonna go to your dining room.
-Okay.
-[Phil] Here we are, Ben.
-I like a nice high table.
-[Gil laughs]
This way, the food doesn't have
so far to go.
Whoa, look.
I noticed, uh, a chicken
walking around back there.
Is that what I'm having?
-That's a free chicken.
-That's a free chicken.
That's one of the lucky ones.
One of the lucky ones. Like us, Ben.
We're the lucky ones.
Here's the pork ribs.
Whoa!
-How you like that?
-How do I like that?
[Ben] That's a big plate. Oh, man.
-Come on.
-[Gil] Okay, hold on. I'll be there.
No, I mean, "Come on.
This is really good."
Not, "Come on, move faster."
-Benny!
-Oh, wow.
[Gil] Another one. This is a chicken.
[Ben] Oh, man. Thank you.
-It's fantastic pork.
-The ribs are awesome.
Hawaii, not so bad, right?
No, not so bad at all.
What sauce do you like with the chicken?
The chicken's really good
with the sweet chili sauce.
-This is like Vietnamese sauce, isn't it?
-[Irvin] Yeah.
-[Phil] Are you Vietnamese?
-No, we're Filipino.
-[Ben] I love Filipino food.
-[Phil] Yeah.
[Phil] So, G, how did you start?
[Irvin] My dad has a friend back in Maui
who does this.
-[Phil] Yes.
-They helped us out.
-We had a restaurant before.
-[Phil] Yeah.
But then, they decided to reti--
Do the chicken.
Twenty years later, we're here.
-[Phil] It's fantastic.
-Yeah.
So huli huli chicken…
What makes it huli huli?
Huli huli in Hawaiian means "turn."
-[Phil] Like rotisserie.
-Rotisserie.
-[Phil] So huli huli means "rotisserie."
-[Irvin] Yeah.
I've loved you for years.
I didn't even know.
Right? Benny, we are huli huli fans.
I've always loved huli huli.
It is good with that sauce.
Not that it needs anything.
[Irvin] Yeah.
They drive from all over the island,
I bet, to eat this?
[Irvin] All over the state.
Do we have anything like this in LA?
I don't think so. There's nowhere to get
rotisserie like this really.
-Huli huli!
-[Ben] Huli huli.
I can't get over how good the pork is.
Good macaroni salad too.
Yeah, my mom makes that.
-Yeah! Good for Mom!
-[Ben laughs]
Everything on the table, my mom makes.
-[Phil] Is that right?
-Yup.
She's not just sitting at home
eating bonbons.
[Ben] Nope.
You should try these in here.
-Egg rolls.
-What am I trying?
-Deep-fried banana.
-Banana egg roll, Ben.
Do it.
That's a good idea. Why haven't we
ever had that before?
-Right?
-Yeah, that's super good.
-How old are you?
-I am 26. So…
I'm 25. Very close.
You guys, you want me
to set up a play date?
[all laughing]
-[Ben] Do you like video games?
-Yeah, kind of. [laughs]
[sizzling]
If you're in Kona,
I want you to go to The Feeding Leaf.
It's Japanese hand food.
I love eating with my hands.
-How's dinner?
-[woman] Very good.
Do you eat here a lot?
-Every day.
-Every day.
-What?
-Every day.
-Breakfast…
-So, this is like your kitchen.
Mm-hmm. [chuckles]
Now, I'm excited.
That's quite a recommendation.
-Oh!
-Hello!
The Feeding Leaf. It's run by Tracey,
who goes by… just Tracey.
Now why just Tracey?
You're too good to be "just" anything.
You know, I'm--
I'm trying to keep my humble roots.
From now on, you're not just Tracey,
you're Tracey!
-Tracey!
-Exclamation mark!
-I'm Tracey exclamation mark!
-You're Tracey the musical.
♪ Uno ♪
♪ Due ♪
♪ Tre ♪
♪ Quattro… ♪
[upbeat music playing]
[Phil] I'm going to eat
Japanese hand food.
-Okazu.
-Okazu.
Look, here's my first handful.
[Tracey] So this is a chicken skin musubi.
-Fried piece of chicken skin on the top.
-[Phil] Who doesn't like that?
The rice in the musubi
is made with plum powder.
It's a little bit salty and sour.
[Phil] Here I go.
[crunches]
-Is it good?
-Yes!
[chuckles]
-Just Tracey, this is just delicious.
-Thank you.
[chuckles]
Can you throw me a napkin?
'Cause if I'm going to eat
with my hands, right?
I also may need a hose
by the time…
We have one outside.
[both laugh]
-Hey! Is that chicken and waffles?
-Yes, our version of a chicken and waffle.
Yes. You're giving me fork and knife.
-You don't have to use it.
-I'm not gonna.
Okay, don't. I'll hide it from you
later when you have to eat the soup.
We'll see you try that.
We put some seaweed
and sesame seeds into the actual waffle.
[Phil] Yeah.
It's topped with a fried chicken
dipped in a Korean sauce.
And then we do
a chili pepper honey syrup on the top.
Oh, that's great.
Amazing fried chicken,
sweet sauce, savory waffle.
This has to be really popular.
That's probably our best seller.
They have it quite often.
-Did you have this today?
-[woman] Not today.
Guess what? Yes, today.
-Yes.
-[Tracey chuckles]
-Thank you.
-They're not saying no.
-Even though they have it every other day.
-Correct.
-[Phil] Uh-oh.
-So this is called nishime.
-Mm-hmm.
-And it's a Japanese pot stew.
The recipe's over a hundred years old.
A lot of places in Hawaii
don't sell nishime stew.
-Why?
-Because it's kind of an older recipe.
Like, only the older people, the kupuna,
actually still make it.
[slurps] Mm.
This is beautiful.
-This is like Hawaii in a bowl, isn't it?
-Yeah.
-Because you've got the culture.
-Yeah.
-And you've got the family.
-Yeah.
This is wonderful.
Thank you. Thank you.
-[Phil] Beautiful. You got--
-[Tracey] You're gonna have poi today.
-You're gonna like it, I promise.
-All right.
Poi, for those of you
who've never had the pleasure,
is a creamy paste
made from mashed taro stalks
that every native Hawaiian
grows up eating.
This is a 'uala kalo poi,
so it's a blend of sweet potato and taro.
Now you're going to eat some poi.
Two-finger poi.
-Really?
-Yes, two fingers.
Yes, just like that. Mm-hmm.
[smacks lips]
It's good, I promise.
You're going to like it. Go.
[sucks fingers]
Let it resonate on your palate.
-It's nice.
-Right?
It's sweet.
This is how people eat it?
With two fingers like this?
Yeah, two-finger poi.
-I had no idea. [sucks fingers]
-Yes.
[Phil] You're taking me back to childhood.
When I say childhood,
I mean when I was a baby.
Like baby food.
[laughing]
See, you're Hawaiian now.
I'm so proud of you.
-Thank you.
-[chuckles]
They call me "Two-Finger Poi."
[laughing]
[sucks fingers]
[Richard laughs]
What's Hawaiian for Wet-Nap?
Lick it.
[both laughing]
[Skype call ringing]
-Oh! Hello there.
-[Monica] Philip.
[Phil] We're in Hawaii.
Were there hula dancers?
[hums Hawaiian tune]
-[chuckles]
-♪ Oh, we're going to the Hukilau… ♪
Come on, Max!
[laughing]
[Phil and Richard laughing]
[sings Hawaiian tune]
[laughing]
That's it. He just--
You know what he did?
He just did the "Jewish hula."
Every-- every Jewish hula ends like this.
[all laughing]
Noting all the activities…
Are you proud of me?
-[Monica] Very.
-Running down the wire.
Zip line. They call it zip line.
Going down the wire. Is that for skiing?
Or what is it for?
There's no skiing there.
I'm in the treetops,
and that's how you get around.
It's either that
or swing on a vine like Tarzan.
[chuckles]
-But I did it. At first, I was nervous.
-Were you scared?
Yeah, at the first one.
They give you like a baby one,
but it's terrifying.
You go a thousand feet in 45 seconds.
And by the end, it was-- it was great.
I loved it. I'd do it again.
You want to do it, Monica?
-I'll do it with you.
-I did it once before.
-It's really, like, exhilarating.
-What do you mean, you did it before?
-Yes.
-Where?
-With who?
-[Monica] I did it--
You didn't come! You stayed in the hotel!
That's what I'm saying,
now he does everything.
-[chuckles]
-[Phil] When was this?
He rides the horse.
"Oh, no, I'm not riding the horse."
Does the zip line,
"No, I'm not going to zip line."
Does the ropes course.
"No, I'm not going." Now, he does it.
-'Cause you're not there.
-[laughing]
-Because I'm-- Is that it?
-Yeah.
I'm now fully an outdoorsman with the…
[laughing]
[Max] What else?
[chuckling]
What's going on?
You have a joke for the people?
-I can tell you an old joke.
-Okay.
There were two couples,
the men sit in their living room.
[Phil] Yes.
The women sit in the kitchen,
and they're talking.
And Harry said to John,
"John, we went to this restaurant today,
and the food was delicious."
So he goes, "Yeah,
what was the name of the restaurant?"
"The name of the restaurant, uh, uh…
I forgot already."
"You were just there this afternoon.
How come you forgot the restaurant?"
"Wait," he said, "Wait, wait.
What's that flower called?
It's red. It smells good.
It's got thorns on it."
He said, "You mean a rose?"
"Yeah! That's it!
Hey, Rose, what was the name
of the restaurant?"
[both laugh]
He's still got it!
Give me the Jewish hula. Give me the hula.
[sings Hawaiian tune]
[Phil laughing]
-[Monica] Bye, everybody!
-Love you. Bye.
[sheep bleating]
-[Phil] Richard is a failed shepherd.
-[man laughs]
[Phil] Well, there he goes. Good job.
Look at this.
Here they come.
It's the world's cutest stampede.
[man laughing]
This is so magnificent.
[Phil's voice]
For my last stop, I'm visiting a place
that doesn't feel very much
like the Hawaii we think of.
This is Kahua Ranch and sheep farm
on the northern tip of the Big Island.
The head ranch hand, Jesse,
is showing me around
and dressing me.
I wasn't prepared for how cold
it was going to be
on top of this mountain at sunset,
so thanks for the coat and the pants.
-[Jesse] No problem.
-[Phil] Do you take care of the sheep?
[Jesse] For the past two and a half years,
I've been in charge of the sheep,
but my family has been up here
for, uh, four generations.
Really?
[Jesse] There were all cowboys.
My great-grandfather, my grandfathers.
I mean, it does feel like what we call
the American West, you know?
It's a-- a lot of it's untouched.
We hope to keep it that way
for the long haul.
Yeah.
[Peter] People think it's all about
white sand beaches in Hawaii.
-And that's only the tip of the iceberg.
-That's right.
The Big Island itself is the size
of Connecticut,
and we have 170,000 residents here.
-Unbelievable.
-It's getting a little crowded right now.
I'm sorry. We'll leave soon.
[laughing]
Meet Peter Merriman. He's a great chef.
He has a bunch of restaurants,
Merriman's, in Hawaii.
And he gets his sheep and his cattle
from this ranch
at the top of this mountain.
We're literally in the clouds.
We're not under clouds. We're in 'em.
What brought you to this mountain?
Well, I came here,
uh, for the lamb, really.
Monty Richards was the owner
of Kahua Ranch,
and he raised the lamb, and I cooked it.
-[Phil] That simple?
-[Peter] That simple.
[Phil[ How beautiful is this?
This is kind of, uh,
the Brazilian thing that I know,
but it's called a what? A shreken?
-[Peter] A schwenker.
-[Phil] A schwenker?
-[Peter] Yeah.
-[Phil] "Hey, you wanna see a schwenker?"
[laughing]
"Why don't you cook me something,
you schwenker?"
-Is that where that comes from?
-That's exactly where it came from.
Neil, you're a real schwenker.
This is Neil, who is Peter's sous chef,
and he worked at a little restaurant
in New York before getting this gig,
called The River Cafe.
Well, the big city's loss
is the Big Island's gain.
How's that corn?
-It's the sweetest corn I ever had.
-Right.
-Oh, my God. This is delicious.
-[Peter] Isn't it?
-Neil!
-[chuckles]
This is so good. I mean,
I think with just a little more practice,
you might be able to work
at the River Cafe.
[all laughing]
[Neil] Uh, thanks, Phil.
[laughing continues]
Wow.
-Should I taste that lamb chop?
-Yeah, go for it.
[Neil] Use some salt.
-Should I? Little salt?
-[Peter] Here's some salt.
-I love Neil coaching from the back.
-Right.
Don't you love when somebody tells you
the little hack?
-Oh, yeah.
-I feel like that's what I'm here for.
[chuckles] Find the hack. Right.
No, but that's the…
This is a hack.
I want people to get it.
Not that it's hard to get Hawaii.
There's just so much beauty here,
but there's a lot more.
It figures Uncle Clay would be the one
to sum it up so perfectly.
I'm going to read you a little bit of
what's on the wall at the shave ice place.
The Pure Aloha Oath.
"I solemnly promise to live
every heartbeat of my life
from this day forward with pure aloha."
"I will unconditionally love every person
who crosses my path in life
as a fellow member
of our one world ohana."
So I want to thank Uncle Clay
and I want to thank everybody I met
in Hawaii from all over the world,
who come to make this place
a real diverse and beautiful culture,
for setting an example of how we can be.
Do you guys ever get sick
like, "All right, Uncle.
All right, not everything
can be the most loving, beautiful…
Come on, Uncle Clay."
[laughing]
Aloha.
[birds chirping]
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody, somebody feed Phil ♪
♪ Oh please somebody, somebody feed Phil ♪
♪ Somebody feed him now ♪
[inhales, sniffles]
Welcome to An Old Jew
On Loose Jagged Rocks.
This is, uh, an incredible landscape
on the Big Island
because a lot of it
is relatively new lava flow
that when it cools and hardens,
turns into this black lava rock.
It's very rough, very jagged,
and so my brother thought,
"Why don't you go walk around in that?"
This is not where people go.
I don't like this.
The problem is,
even when you put your hands down,
you cut your hands.
It's like a--
a pile of charcoal briquettes
if they were mixed in with glass.
Why am I doing this?
I recommend it for hiking.
Thanks, Richard.
Ow.
Idiot.
[theme music playing]
♪ A happy, hungry man ♪
♪ Is traveling all across
The sea and the land ♪
♪ He's trying to understand ♪
♪ The art of pasta,
pork, chicken and lamb ♪
♪ He will drive to you ♪
♪ He will fly to you ♪
♪ He will sing for you ♪
♪ And dance for you ♪
♪ He will laugh with you ♪
♪ And he'll cry for you ♪
♪ There's just one thing
he asks in return ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Can somebody, somebody feed Phil? ♪
♪ Somebody feed him now ♪
Who watched The Price is Right
or Let's Make a Deal growing up, like me,
every day after school?
-[bell ringing]
-[cheering]
And what was the grand prize
always at the end?
"You're going to Waikiki,
beautiful Honolulu, Hawaii."
[Hawaiian music playing]
It seemed like the place
you want to go on vacation.
It seemed like a dream.
And I've gotten to come now,
a couple times,
and there's just so much energy here.
And Honolulu is a great major city
with lots to do.
And most people don't think
of Hawaii as a food destination,
but they don't realize that
all the cultures
of the Pacific Rim are here…
and so is their food.
There's just so much I want
to show you.
But the one Hawaiian dish
that seems to be everywhere,
I'm still not totally sold on.
I don't know, maybe a trip
to this place will change my mind.
I've never been a poke fan.
I've only eaten it on the mainland,
and I-- I can't say I love it.
They-- It's kind of potschke,
with all kinds of stuff on it,
and I was thinking, "If the fish was good,
right, it would be sushi."
But we're going to a place
called Ahi Assassins,
which is hidden away
on the top floor of a strip mall.
-[man] Aloha, welcome.
-Hello!
-There's the man.
-Hi.
-How are you, my brother? Gooch.
-Hi, Gooch.
Mark Noguchi is a great chef in Honolulu,
and he wants to change my mind about poke.
-I have a confession to make.
-Yeah?
-I don't-- I don't really like poke.
-That's it. I quit! I'm out.
-Get out of here!
-[Noguchi] I'm out of here.
[Phil] This is Erika and Josh,
who run Ahi Assassins.
They care deeply
about where they get their fish,
how it's sourced,
how it's cut, how fresh it is.
Poke actually is not raw fish.
Poke is the Hawaiian word
for a dice, a cut.
Oh, the only time I've had it
has been in these chains.
-[Noguchi] We won't talk about 'em.
-That's not it.
-[Phil] This is not that.
-No.
This is you guys going out every morning--
We're the ones that catch it, cut it.
You're the one that will consume it.
There's no middleman or markup.
You're not gonna get 101 toppings,
but you are gonna get fresh fish.
That was the problem.
So, this is pake poke.
That is cold ginger sauce.
-[Phil] See what happens to you.
-[Erika] Aw, cute.
[Phil] I could tell immediately,
just looking at it.
This is not what I'm used to, right?
[Erika] Right.
That's beautiful.
You know, if you've only had poke
in some chain back on the mainland,
this will blow your mind.
You can taste the fish, right?
That's what it's all about.
Yes, it's super fresh.
Well, this looks a little spicy.
So that is our Lunatic.
So the original lunatic is right here.
[all laughing]
I've been chasing fish all of my life.
-I've never caught a fish…
-Here we go.
…that I've wanted
to keep as much as this one.
Jesus Christ!
-Oh, my God!
-Comparing you to a fish.
[Noguchi] Better make a baby
after that one.
[all laughing]
-Nice, huh? Spicy, sweet…
-It's great.
What's this?
Hawaiian Style.
It has roasted kukui nuts inside.
I don't know what that is.
[Noguchi] Hawaiians didn't have
chili peppers before Western contact,
and so Hawaiians seasoned with salt,
limu, or seaweed,
and inamona, which is that.
So, inamona is roasted kukui nuts,
comes out from a tree.
Those are the three
predominant methods of seasoning.
[Phil] Is it only tuna?
So whatever they're catching
is what we're serving.
[Phil] Really?
[Joshua] We preach sustainability.
-What?
-We got something special for you.
-[Phil] Now this is what?
-Ahi bone.
That's the prime rib of the ahi.
We believe in using
all of the fish that you catch.
It got a little blood.
You get the marrow in there,
and all the flavor, all the nutrients.
That's where you get
all your broth, your stock.
I love it!
It's equivalent to chicken wings,
but with fish. Everything but the--
-Healthier.
-Yeah.
-Tastes fantastic.
-[munching]
As a kid growing up,
these are the parts that we ate.
My dad told me that these were the best.
The bones, the bellies, the collars.
What I didn't know was that
he sold all the loins,
-is why we had the bones--
-Don't sell your loins.
[laughing]
Good advice.
So guess what?
I like poke.
Waikiki in Honolulu is one
of the most famous beaches in the world,
and it's easy to see why.
Look at the water. Look at the blue.
Wha-- It's like the color of this.
The mountains.
Diamond Head is right there.
The beach is pristine.
The sand is gorgeous.
And today I'm here to do this.
Are-- are you my ride?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
-You've done this before, right?
-[boater 1] How are you?
[boaters] A couple times.
When we go out, first, uh…
-This is our paddle. When I say, "Hut…"
-[Phil] Yeah.
-[boater 2] You go, "Hoo!"
-Hoo!
Change sides.
If we go over, I'm telling you now,
I'm sorry.
The place of departure
is a place where somebody took
a three-hour tour.
Yes! This is the marina
where they shot Gilligan's Island. Yes.
And so, you'll never see me again.
Nothing makes your body look
more like your body
than a rash guard.
Like, your body looks way worse
stuffed into a sausage casing
than if you just let it go.
Probably should have gone
to the bathroom before this, right?
The bathroom's everywhere, Phil.
[Phil] Nice. Remind me not to go swimming.
-Wow, this is a skinny fit.
-[boater 1] Yeah.
Yeah, tell us about it.
[chuckling]
-[Phil] This is right, right?
-[boater 2] Yes.
[Phil] All right, I got you guys.
You don't worry.
[boater 3] All right.
[Phil] I'm an outdoorsman.
Uh-oh, waves.
[chuckles]
-[boater] Hut!
-[all] Hoo!
Now when you have a new guy in the boat,
can you tell if that guy
is pulling his weight
or is slowing you down?
[boater 1] Uh, we know.
You know.
[boater 2] Everybody knows, Phil.
-Hoo!
-Hoo!
I got my "hoo" down. You gotta admit.
All right, we're gonna catch a wave now?
Oh, here we go.
[boater] Hut!
Hoo!
[boaters] Hut-hut-hut!
[Phil] Oh, boy.
Ya-ha.
-[boater] Hoo!
-Hoo!
[singing Hawaii Five-0 theme song]
[screams]
-So I have a question for you guys.
-[boaters] Yeah?
Moana. Good or wack?
-[boater 1] Good!
-Good?
[boater 1] My daughters love that show.
That's nice.
To look at Waikiki and Honolulu
from that perspective of the water
is gorgeous.
These boys are gorgeous! Look at them.
Fit right in.
[upbeat music playing]
I wanted to thank them
for me not drowning.
And so I wanted to show them
something I'm good at,
which is eating a lot of hot dogs.
Here we go.
-[man] All right.
-[Phil] Here we go.
They have a lot of choices,
so I thought what we would do
was get everything.
-[boater 1] I'm not gonna argue that.
-All the dogs, please.
-How are you?
-My name is Phil.
-Who are you?
-My name is Hank.
-He's Hank!
-Welcome!
[cheering]
-Yeah, yeah!
-[laughing]
-Hank! You're gonna do it up.
-[Hank] I'm gonna do it up.
[Phil] I'm feeding the boys gourmet stuff
at Hank's Haute, not "Hot," Haute Dogs,
courtesy of the man himself,
Hank Adaniya.
All right, we deserve it.
We conquered the waves.
Thanks, Phil.
-[boater 2] Cheers.
-[Phil] Do you remember meeting each other
for the first time
and the first impressions?
I remember seeing this guy
after one race, and he was crying.
[Phil] He was crying from the race?
I had salt in my eye.
[chuckling]
He's a poor sport.
He doesn't like to lose.
-[boater 2] I don't like to lose.
-What do you do when you're not rowing?
-[Phil] You're a plumber.
-Plumber.
[Phil] You?
I used to work-- elevator industry
with this guy and that guy. Yeah.
How's business? You know…
[boater 3] It's got its ups and downs.
That's it!
[all laughing]
Yes!
-[man 4] They're trying to-- That's right.
-[Phil] All I want--
-I was waiting for that line, Phil.
-I live to set you up.
That made me happy.
Now we can go on the road.
-Only, it's--
-Hot dogs!
Hot dogs! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
You guys can jump in whenever you want.
Just grab.
[Hank] Kobe. So wagyu beef, bacon-wrapped,
deep-fried hot dog, like a BLT.
[Phil] Do it. I'm proud of you.
We got a lot of dogs, guys.
We gotta do some work here.
-I got a lot of guys.
-[boater 4] All right.
[Hank chuckles] This is a Polish dog.
[Phil] How is it? You like it?
Oh, yeah. Hey. It's a good hot dog.
[Phil] Guys, you're slowing down.
How am I eating more than you?
What's that one?
-Spicy Louisiana style.
-Who wants it?
-You should have it.
-All right. I will.
Yeah, you gotta eat more.
Gotta nice shirt that is you, basically.
I'm on the team!
[clapping, laughing]
-Thank you. I'm putting it on.
-There you go.
Practice tomorrow, 6:00 a.m.
I'll be there. But if I'm not there,
don't wait for me.
[all laughing]
SPLINTERED PADDLE
[Phil]
The coolest neighborhood in Honolulu
is the arts district of Kaka'ako,
famous for its ever-growing collection
of murals.
Shops, galleries and restaurants
have taken over
where warehouses and auto shops
once stood.
Look for it on an Instagram feed near you.
I've had shaved ice before,
like a snow cone.
But this is no snow cone.
And the master of this
is a man named Uncle Clay.
So we're going to Uncle Clay's House
of Pure Aloha.
You must be Uncle Clay, is that right?
I'm just another Hawaiian uncle.
Welcome to our ohana.
Oh. Oh. Wow.
I forgot to ask if you're comfortable
with being hugged.
-I'm really not, but I'll take another.
-Okay.
Have seconds.
-You want thirds?
-Sure.
[chuckles]
[muffled] Welcome to our ohana.
Look at this beautiful couple.
-[Clay] Bronson and Katie.
-That's your nephew, right?
Yes, my brother's son.
-And his newlywed wife.
-They're married.
-[Clay] And I got something for you.
-Oh.
-A lei. A fine leprechaun.
-Thank you.
[chuckles]
Thank you, Uncle Clay.
Oh, another one. [chuckles]
Hawaii's for huggers. We take the word
ohana to heart, you know?
Ohana means…
-[whispers] Family.
-Yes.
Originating in Taiwan,
this treat was first brought
to the islands in the late 1800s
by Japanese immigrants
coming to work on one
of the many sugar plantations here.
But in Hawaii, it's called "shave ice,"
not "shaved ice."
So make sure you say it right, people.
I want to try everything.
Everything, one to five.
I don't need pumpkin spice.
There's enough pumpkin spice in the world.
I read that you wanted to have a store
like this since you were a little boy.
-I was eight years old.
-Come on.
-A thousand years ago.
-Hee-hee.
I would come in
with all the neighborhood kids.
-Yeah.
-The words would explode from my heart.
"I want to own this store someday!"
-Really?
-So, yes. I dreamed the dream.
I feel now I have a responsibility
to share with as many ohana
throughout the world
-that dreams really come true, Phil.
-Who's like you? Nobody.
Aren't we all individual, unique,
beautifully created masterpieces?
Eh, some. [chuckling]
Look!
-Here's your first one.
-What is it?
Strawberry Dream.
-[Clay] Ooh.
-Speaking of dreams, right?
We make our own syrups.
Homemade, all-natural.
Heart.
This is phenomenal.
Come on, I have to share right away.
You don't mind that I took a bite
of this already?
-Thank you.
-No.
I think you'll like it. Enjoy.
Uncle Clay, can you be my uncle?
I would be honored!
In Hawaii, we say hanai.
Yes. Hanai.
-Hanai, which means "adopted."
-Yes.
-As of this very moment.
-I'm adopted?
You're my hanai son.
Wow.
Can I borrow $50?
Oh, sh-- I lost my wallet.
Once in a while, you meet a guy
who is just light and love
and warmth and beauty
and everything that's sweet about living
all wrapped up in one cute little package.
[laughing]
This is fantastic.
I usually love to feed my ohana.
Literally feed my ohana.
-You could do it right now.
-May I?
Of course.
Okay, ready?
How is that?
Wow. That's my coffee in the morning.
-Whoo-hoo.
-[chuckles]
Give me another.
[chuckles] Oh.
-All right, hanai son.
-Thank you.
You know who I want you to feed?
That guy over there.
-Big John over there.
-[laughing]
[chuckling]
-Delicious.
-All right.
-Feed the next guy.
-This is real ohana.
We're sharing the same spoon. [laughing]
Oh, my goodness!
Ooh.
I'm flying high. I was born to serve.
This guy needs…
Oh, yes. Matt.
Oh, he rolled his eyes. [chuckling]
We didn't feed Richard yet? That's okay.
[all laughing]
-There you go, Richard.
-Yeah, thanks.
[Phil] Richard,
that's a great chocolate dessert.
I'll have another one.
-[Phil] He had enough. Come on.
-[laughing]
Don't adopt him.
So we're leaving Honolulu today
and taking a day trip
up to O'ahu's North Shore.
We're going to the site
of the most famous wave in the world.
Look at this. This is Hawaii.
And this is the famous Pipeline.
It makes that curl so you actually see
a pipeline, right?
-[woman] That's what it's named for.
-See, I know something about sports.
Jenn Marr's lived by the Pipeline
since she was a teenager.
Now, she's a trained chef, entrepreneur,
and part-time caretaker
of the legendary surfer hangout,
Volcom House.
So basically, she's the ambassador
for the North Shore.
Every year, they decide
the world champion right here.
These are some of the best surfers
in the world.
-[Jenn] We'll get ya out there on a board.
-[Phil] No, you won't!
I'm not crazy.
It looks so frigging dangerous.
[Jenn] Respecting the ocean is number one
here. Mother Nature does not care.
-Whoa!
-[Jenn] Tried to do a little air there.
[Phil] How long have you lived here?
[Jenn] I've lived on the North Shore
for about 35 years.
-This is like paradise.
-It is beautiful.
Except for the death.
Wait, who's this beautiful girl?
That's my granddaughter, Lei Aloha.
-[Phil] Come and say hello.
-Come and say hi?
Come here. Hi. Let's see how cold
the water is, should we?
[Jenn] Don't get too close,
in case a rogue wave comes.
A rogue wave?
-[Jenn] A rogue wave.
-[Lei] Yeah.
[Phil] Feels good.
[Jenn] Watch out. This wave's coming up.
[shrieks]
-[Lei] It got me.
-[Jenn chuckles]
Almost got me.
Wow, beautiful. Look at this.
Jenn's got a real family, of course,
but she's like a mom
to some of these kids.
Wow, what a ride. Look at this guy.
Wow!
Look at this kid. His name is Kanahi.
He came out of the water.
He's seven feet tall.
He looks like something out of Avatar.
I couldn't believe this is a person.
But he's a superhuman.
How long have you been doing this?
Since I was about three,
so, 14 years, maybe?
Wow, that's pretty tall for 17, huh?
Come on, we're gonna go eat something.
Here we come.
The warriors of the surf.
This is the famous house
that I've read about.
[Kanahi] Yeah, this is, uh, Volcom House.
[Phil] We're sitting in this house
called the Volcom House,
which is where all the surfers hang.
They come from all over the world
to surf that wave,
and here's a place for them to crash.
It's some life.
So what we have here
is a little "Breakfast of Champions."
-Smashed potatoes.
-Love 'em.
Then we have macadamia nut
banana pancakes
and a variety of local fresh
tropical fruits.
A lot of these I picked myself yesterday.
Who wants to eat with us?
Come on, people. Look at that. Come on!
-[Jenn] Derek, whoever wants to come.
-[man] Aloha!
Mahalo.
Welcome to our all-you-can-eat buffet.
-[Lei] Yeah.
-[man] This is amazing.
[Phil] Jenn's food is everything
you want Hawaii to be.
You know, macadamia nut banana pancakes
and gorgeous fruit
and, um, with gorgeous people.
It's a good diet,
I would say, right? The surf diet?
[Jenn] These guys didn't
always have it this good.
Back in the day, the North Shore,
it was like floor space only.
I'd come over, I'd spend 20 bucks a night
to sleep on somebody's floor
to surf the waves on the North Shore.
And now, since surfing's come up
into its own a lot more,
companies started buying
the beachfront properties up and down.
Now all these guys don't know
how spoiled they have it.
[Hawaiian music playing]
This was quite a morning.
It's so outside of my lifestyle,
but it's nice to see other lifestyles.
-All the worldly matters go away, right?
-Pretty much.
[Phil] The whole world goes away,
and it's just about you and these waves.
-And being together, right?
-[Jenn] It's like a big family, you know?
The whole spirit,
the whole aloha spirit. It's a real thing.
When you're in the surf world
and you're in that surf family,
it's like everywhere you go,
you're kind of a little bit home.
[Phil] We don't have to go, do we, people?
-Yeah, you do.
-[Jenn laughs]
Why can't we stay here for a while?
Like a… few more years?
[Jenn] Why not? [laughs]
[Phil] The diversity of Honolulu means
there's so much good food you get here.
Amazing stuff, like old-school Vietnamese
from The Pig and the Lady
that would be right at home in Saigon.
Mama Le, a great honor to meet you.
I love the food here. It's fantastic.
Thank you.
[Phil] That looks beautiful.
It's just straight-up delicious.
Oh, my goodness, stop.
It might be the best pho I ever had.
Then you got your high-end splurge places
like Senia
from chefs Anthony Rush and Chris Kajioka,
where my friend Megan Murphy
and I had a very nice tasting menu.
[chef] Smoked three times. Smoked raw,
smoked when we cook it,
and smoked again now.
Wow.
[Megan] I only want my salmon smoked
three times from now on.
[gasps] Thank you so much.
What?
What holds them all together
is the desire to celebrate
the ingredients and traditions of Hawaii,
which is Ed Kenney's whole deal
at his great restaurant, Mud Hen Water.
I mean, where else are you
going to find chef-y luau food?
Octopus!
It's one of those luau celebration dishes.
And then pa'i'ai,
which is hand-pounded taro root
brushed with shoyu sugar with nori.
I can definitely taste
the pure aloha in your cooking.
-Your creations.
-[Ed] Oh-ho.Thank you.
From you, that's incredible!
That's actually not
a really great review from him.
[all laugh]
[Phil] Being a string of islands
set in the middle of the Pacific Ocean
means that Hawaii imports 90% of its food.
So they really have to make the most
of what they can grow themselves,
and that awareness starts early here
at Hale'iwa Elementary School.
-Hi, how are you? Welcome.
-Nice to meet you.
-We hug in Hawaii.
-Thank you.
Well, I like that.
Natalie and Joe lead
the AINA In Schools program,
teaching kids everything from nutrition
to composting and gardening.
Go through the list and try and decide
if you think they're a good buddy
for our garden.
[Phil] My buddy's name is Skyler.
What about earthworms? Good, right?
I know about earthworms.
They aerate the soil, right?
This is good.
[Phil] Ladybug? They're pretty too.
How about millipedes?
I don't know either.
[Joe] Look at the bottom of these leaves
to see if you can find a caterpillar
for our monarch butterflies.
[Phil]
Should we ask Joe if that's an aphid?
[Joe] Very good find.
Let's see what else you will find.
Have you found ice cream out here?
-Hey!
-Hey!
-Hi.
-Hello.
What would you like?
-I'm excited.
-And you want sprinkles?
[Skyler] I found out something.
[Phil] Yes?
[Skyler] Caterpillars eat the leaves.
They eat the leaves.
[Skyler] 'Cause leaves are good for them.
Leaves are good for them.
And they keep on growing,
and then they turn into cocoons.
That's right.
-Here we go!
-Who's next?
[Natalie] What do you think
about these ice creams?
-They're good!
-It's good!
-[Phil] You can't finish it?
-Yes, sir.
-[Phil] You want to give it to my brother?
-Yeah.
He's over there. He finishes everything
I don't eat. Right there, that guy.
-Want it?
-You could say, "Here, eat this."
-Thank you.
-[laughs] Enjoy it, Richard.
[kids laugh]
Ha, ha, Richard.
Everybody, say, "Ha, ha, Richard!"
Ha, ha, Richard!
[kids laugh]
[Hawaiian music playing]
Now we're going from Honolulu and O'ahu
to the Big Island of Hawaii.
They call it the Big Island
because all the other islands could fit
in this one island of Hawaii twice.
[Richard] I didn't know that.
Yeah. My driver told me.
[all laughing]
I know when you look at me,
you go, "Wow, that is an adventurer."
"This is a stud."
Well, today your fantasy comes true.
-[steam bursting]
-[guide 1] Whoo!
What was that?
Just a backfire.
[chuckling]
[engine rattling]
[Phil]
It's a nice smooth ride on this--
[guide 1] Yeah, basically the goal
is to shake the butterflies out
-before we get up to the top.
-Oh, yeah, they're shaken out.
So is everything else.
[all laughing]
[guide 1] Don't fight it, ride it.
Stupid Richard.
[guide 1] See those empty green plots
out there?
-Is that where you'll bury me?
-[laughs]
[guide 1] Up and over the shoulders
with these bad boys.
How much weight is placed
in the crotchal area?
Uh, not too much.
Just enough to keep you awake.
This is actually what I wore
on my wedding night.
-[all laughing]
-Sounds like a great time, my friend.
[Phil] If you hadn't already guessed,
I'm going zip-lining.
It says, "Danger keep off."
As long as you're not
on that little black line, you're good.
[Phil] I don't like getting
to the edge of this thing.
A couple things you don't want to do
with the braking.
You want to look up so you don't brake
on this top cable.
You also want to be behind
this metal trolley.
You don't want to put your hands
in the front obviously.
You know what? I don't think I'm…
My-- my thing is not right.
All right. Here we go.
[Richard] Send it!
Whee-hee!
[Phil] Oh, this is fast. This is fast.
Oh!
Oh, God. Oh, God.
[guide 2] Not in front, Phil.
Not in front. There you go.
I got you. You're good.
So Phil, what you can do now
is hug this tree.
-I will.
-[guide 2] Right there. Perfect.
This one, you have to lean this way
or you hit a tree.
It's getting a little scarier.
All right, here we go.
Oy!
Ya!
Oh, God.
Ah-ha-ha.
-Whoo!
-Yeah, man, clean!
That was fast!
[guide 2 chuckles]
The advice for this is,
"Don't step in the holes."
In between each zip line ride,
now they say, "Oh, and now
you're gonna go across this bridge,"
but they haven't built a, uh, uh,
bridge that you would want to cross.
There's big, gaping holes
in between the planks.
Ya-ha!
This would be hard for me
if it wasn't hundreds of feet in the air.
[guide 3]
Be careful of the steps that spin.
-Just messing with you. Come on down.
-[Phil] That's not funny.
-Avoid the holes. Oh, God.
-[guide 3 chuckles]
[Phil] Here's another one.
-[guide 3] This is our last zip line.
-Are you going first--
-[guide 3] He'll go first.
-Okay.
Now that you're comfortable zipping,
we thought we'd mix it up for you a bit.
-Just to make me uncomfortable again.
-Absolutely.
You enjoy yourself.
I'll see you on the other side.
Yee-hoo!
Look where we are.
We're in the top of the trees.
It's kind of beautiful, right?
-Ready?
-[guide 4] Ready.
Goodbye!
Yee-hee!
I'm looking down.
I am not afraid!
Look at me now! Look at me now!
This is our last ride.
I think we get lunch now.
I think we're going to have some chicken.
-Yes, sir!
-Yes!
Well done up there, man.
You made it! [chuckling]
-Good job.
-I'm alive!
I was afraid,
and then I conquered my fear!
Where to next, gentlemen?
Chicken?
One of my favorite things
about doing the show
is when my family gets to join me.
So I wanted Ben to be in Hawaii with me,
and I'm taking him
to GJ's Huli Huli Chicken.
Yes. Welcome, aloha!
-Are you GJ?
-Yes.
My name is Gil. Jo, uh,
J is Jonalyn, my wife.
-Nice.
-And then my boy, Irvin GJ.
-That's your boy?
-Yeah.
Guess what? That's my boy. This is Ben.
You're the talk of the island.
Your chicken, your pork. I want to taste
whatever you want to give me.
I'm gonna go to your dining room.
-Okay.
-[Phil] Here we are, Ben.
-I like a nice high table.
-[Gil laughs]
This way, the food doesn't have
so far to go.
Whoa, look.
I noticed, uh, a chicken
walking around back there.
Is that what I'm having?
-That's a free chicken.
-That's a free chicken.
That's one of the lucky ones.
One of the lucky ones. Like us, Ben.
We're the lucky ones.
Here's the pork ribs.
Whoa!
-How you like that?
-How do I like that?
[Ben] That's a big plate. Oh, man.
-Come on.
-[Gil] Okay, hold on. I'll be there.
No, I mean, "Come on.
This is really good."
Not, "Come on, move faster."
-Benny!
-Oh, wow.
[Gil] Another one. This is a chicken.
[Ben] Oh, man. Thank you.
-It's fantastic pork.
-The ribs are awesome.
Hawaii, not so bad, right?
No, not so bad at all.
What sauce do you like with the chicken?
The chicken's really good
with the sweet chili sauce.
-This is like Vietnamese sauce, isn't it?
-[Irvin] Yeah.
-[Phil] Are you Vietnamese?
-No, we're Filipino.
-[Ben] I love Filipino food.
-[Phil] Yeah.
[Phil] So, G, how did you start?
[Irvin] My dad has a friend back in Maui
who does this.
-[Phil] Yes.
-They helped us out.
-We had a restaurant before.
-[Phil] Yeah.
But then, they decided to reti--
Do the chicken.
Twenty years later, we're here.
-[Phil] It's fantastic.
-Yeah.
So huli huli chicken…
What makes it huli huli?
Huli huli in Hawaiian means "turn."
-[Phil] Like rotisserie.
-Rotisserie.
-[Phil] So huli huli means "rotisserie."
-[Irvin] Yeah.
I've loved you for years.
I didn't even know.
Right? Benny, we are huli huli fans.
I've always loved huli huli.
It is good with that sauce.
Not that it needs anything.
[Irvin] Yeah.
They drive from all over the island,
I bet, to eat this?
[Irvin] All over the state.
Do we have anything like this in LA?
I don't think so. There's nowhere to get
rotisserie like this really.
-Huli huli!
-[Ben] Huli huli.
I can't get over how good the pork is.
Good macaroni salad too.
Yeah, my mom makes that.
-Yeah! Good for Mom!
-[Ben laughs]
Everything on the table, my mom makes.
-[Phil] Is that right?
-Yup.
She's not just sitting at home
eating bonbons.
[Ben] Nope.
You should try these in here.
-Egg rolls.
-What am I trying?
-Deep-fried banana.
-Banana egg roll, Ben.
Do it.
That's a good idea. Why haven't we
ever had that before?
-Right?
-Yeah, that's super good.
-How old are you?
-I am 26. So…
I'm 25. Very close.
You guys, you want me
to set up a play date?
[all laughing]
-[Ben] Do you like video games?
-Yeah, kind of. [laughs]
[sizzling]
If you're in Kona,
I want you to go to The Feeding Leaf.
It's Japanese hand food.
I love eating with my hands.
-How's dinner?
-[woman] Very good.
Do you eat here a lot?
-Every day.
-Every day.
-What?
-Every day.
-Breakfast…
-So, this is like your kitchen.
Mm-hmm. [chuckles]
Now, I'm excited.
That's quite a recommendation.
-Oh!
-Hello!
The Feeding Leaf. It's run by Tracey,
who goes by… just Tracey.
Now why just Tracey?
You're too good to be "just" anything.
You know, I'm--
I'm trying to keep my humble roots.
From now on, you're not just Tracey,
you're Tracey!
-Tracey!
-Exclamation mark!
-I'm Tracey exclamation mark!
-You're Tracey the musical.
♪ Uno ♪
♪ Due ♪
♪ Tre ♪
♪ Quattro… ♪
[upbeat music playing]
[Phil] I'm going to eat
Japanese hand food.
-Okazu.
-Okazu.
Look, here's my first handful.
[Tracey] So this is a chicken skin musubi.
-Fried piece of chicken skin on the top.
-[Phil] Who doesn't like that?
The rice in the musubi
is made with plum powder.
It's a little bit salty and sour.
[Phil] Here I go.
[crunches]
-Is it good?
-Yes!
[chuckles]
-Just Tracey, this is just delicious.
-Thank you.
[chuckles]
Can you throw me a napkin?
'Cause if I'm going to eat
with my hands, right?
I also may need a hose
by the time…
We have one outside.
[both laugh]
-Hey! Is that chicken and waffles?
-Yes, our version of a chicken and waffle.
Yes. You're giving me fork and knife.
-You don't have to use it.
-I'm not gonna.
Okay, don't. I'll hide it from you
later when you have to eat the soup.
We'll see you try that.
We put some seaweed
and sesame seeds into the actual waffle.
[Phil] Yeah.
It's topped with a fried chicken
dipped in a Korean sauce.
And then we do
a chili pepper honey syrup on the top.
Oh, that's great.
Amazing fried chicken,
sweet sauce, savory waffle.
This has to be really popular.
That's probably our best seller.
They have it quite often.
-Did you have this today?
-[woman] Not today.
Guess what? Yes, today.
-Yes.
-[Tracey chuckles]
-Thank you.
-They're not saying no.
-Even though they have it every other day.
-Correct.
-[Phil] Uh-oh.
-So this is called nishime.
-Mm-hmm.
-And it's a Japanese pot stew.
The recipe's over a hundred years old.
A lot of places in Hawaii
don't sell nishime stew.
-Why?
-Because it's kind of an older recipe.
Like, only the older people, the kupuna,
actually still make it.
[slurps] Mm.
This is beautiful.
-This is like Hawaii in a bowl, isn't it?
-Yeah.
-Because you've got the culture.
-Yeah.
-And you've got the family.
-Yeah.
This is wonderful.
Thank you. Thank you.
-[Phil] Beautiful. You got--
-[Tracey] You're gonna have poi today.
-You're gonna like it, I promise.
-All right.
Poi, for those of you
who've never had the pleasure,
is a creamy paste
made from mashed taro stalks
that every native Hawaiian
grows up eating.
This is a 'uala kalo poi,
so it's a blend of sweet potato and taro.
Now you're going to eat some poi.
Two-finger poi.
-Really?
-Yes, two fingers.
Yes, just like that. Mm-hmm.
[smacks lips]
It's good, I promise.
You're going to like it. Go.
[sucks fingers]
Let it resonate on your palate.
-It's nice.
-Right?
It's sweet.
This is how people eat it?
With two fingers like this?
Yeah, two-finger poi.
-I had no idea. [sucks fingers]
-Yes.
[Phil] You're taking me back to childhood.
When I say childhood,
I mean when I was a baby.
Like baby food.
[laughing]
See, you're Hawaiian now.
I'm so proud of you.
-Thank you.
-[chuckles]
They call me "Two-Finger Poi."
[laughing]
[sucks fingers]
[Richard laughs]
What's Hawaiian for Wet-Nap?
Lick it.
[both laughing]
[Skype call ringing]
-Oh! Hello there.
-[Monica] Philip.
[Phil] We're in Hawaii.
Were there hula dancers?
[hums Hawaiian tune]
-[chuckles]
-♪ Oh, we're going to the Hukilau… ♪
Come on, Max!
[laughing]
[Phil and Richard laughing]
[sings Hawaiian tune]
[laughing]
That's it. He just--
You know what he did?
He just did the "Jewish hula."
Every-- every Jewish hula ends like this.
[all laughing]
Noting all the activities…
Are you proud of me?
-[Monica] Very.
-Running down the wire.
Zip line. They call it zip line.
Going down the wire. Is that for skiing?
Or what is it for?
There's no skiing there.
I'm in the treetops,
and that's how you get around.
It's either that
or swing on a vine like Tarzan.
[chuckles]
-But I did it. At first, I was nervous.
-Were you scared?
Yeah, at the first one.
They give you like a baby one,
but it's terrifying.
You go a thousand feet in 45 seconds.
And by the end, it was-- it was great.
I loved it. I'd do it again.
You want to do it, Monica?
-I'll do it with you.
-I did it once before.
-It's really, like, exhilarating.
-What do you mean, you did it before?
-Yes.
-Where?
-With who?
-[Monica] I did it--
You didn't come! You stayed in the hotel!
That's what I'm saying,
now he does everything.
-[chuckles]
-[Phil] When was this?
He rides the horse.
"Oh, no, I'm not riding the horse."
Does the zip line,
"No, I'm not going to zip line."
Does the ropes course.
"No, I'm not going." Now, he does it.
-'Cause you're not there.
-[laughing]
-Because I'm-- Is that it?
-Yeah.
I'm now fully an outdoorsman with the…
[laughing]
[Max] What else?
[chuckling]
What's going on?
You have a joke for the people?
-I can tell you an old joke.
-Okay.
There were two couples,
the men sit in their living room.
[Phil] Yes.
The women sit in the kitchen,
and they're talking.
And Harry said to John,
"John, we went to this restaurant today,
and the food was delicious."
So he goes, "Yeah,
what was the name of the restaurant?"
"The name of the restaurant, uh, uh…
I forgot already."
"You were just there this afternoon.
How come you forgot the restaurant?"
"Wait," he said, "Wait, wait.
What's that flower called?
It's red. It smells good.
It's got thorns on it."
He said, "You mean a rose?"
"Yeah! That's it!
Hey, Rose, what was the name
of the restaurant?"
[both laugh]
He's still got it!
Give me the Jewish hula. Give me the hula.
[sings Hawaiian tune]
[Phil laughing]
-[Monica] Bye, everybody!
-Love you. Bye.
[sheep bleating]
-[Phil] Richard is a failed shepherd.
-[man laughs]
[Phil] Well, there he goes. Good job.
Look at this.
Here they come.
It's the world's cutest stampede.
[man laughing]
This is so magnificent.
[Phil's voice]
For my last stop, I'm visiting a place
that doesn't feel very much
like the Hawaii we think of.
This is Kahua Ranch and sheep farm
on the northern tip of the Big Island.
The head ranch hand, Jesse,
is showing me around
and dressing me.
I wasn't prepared for how cold
it was going to be
on top of this mountain at sunset,
so thanks for the coat and the pants.
-[Jesse] No problem.
-[Phil] Do you take care of the sheep?
[Jesse] For the past two and a half years,
I've been in charge of the sheep,
but my family has been up here
for, uh, four generations.
Really?
[Jesse] There were all cowboys.
My great-grandfather, my grandfathers.
I mean, it does feel like what we call
the American West, you know?
It's a-- a lot of it's untouched.
We hope to keep it that way
for the long haul.
Yeah.
[Peter] People think it's all about
white sand beaches in Hawaii.
-And that's only the tip of the iceberg.
-That's right.
The Big Island itself is the size
of Connecticut,
and we have 170,000 residents here.
-Unbelievable.
-It's getting a little crowded right now.
I'm sorry. We'll leave soon.
[laughing]
Meet Peter Merriman. He's a great chef.
He has a bunch of restaurants,
Merriman's, in Hawaii.
And he gets his sheep and his cattle
from this ranch
at the top of this mountain.
We're literally in the clouds.
We're not under clouds. We're in 'em.
What brought you to this mountain?
Well, I came here,
uh, for the lamb, really.
Monty Richards was the owner
of Kahua Ranch,
and he raised the lamb, and I cooked it.
-[Phil] That simple?
-[Peter] That simple.
[Phil[ How beautiful is this?
This is kind of, uh,
the Brazilian thing that I know,
but it's called a what? A shreken?
-[Peter] A schwenker.
-[Phil] A schwenker?
-[Peter] Yeah.
-[Phil] "Hey, you wanna see a schwenker?"
[laughing]
"Why don't you cook me something,
you schwenker?"
-Is that where that comes from?
-That's exactly where it came from.
Neil, you're a real schwenker.
This is Neil, who is Peter's sous chef,
and he worked at a little restaurant
in New York before getting this gig,
called The River Cafe.
Well, the big city's loss
is the Big Island's gain.
How's that corn?
-It's the sweetest corn I ever had.
-Right.
-Oh, my God. This is delicious.
-[Peter] Isn't it?
-Neil!
-[chuckles]
This is so good. I mean,
I think with just a little more practice,
you might be able to work
at the River Cafe.
[all laughing]
[Neil] Uh, thanks, Phil.
[laughing continues]
Wow.
-Should I taste that lamb chop?
-Yeah, go for it.
[Neil] Use some salt.
-Should I? Little salt?
-[Peter] Here's some salt.
-I love Neil coaching from the back.
-Right.
Don't you love when somebody tells you
the little hack?
-Oh, yeah.
-I feel like that's what I'm here for.
[chuckles] Find the hack. Right.
No, but that's the…
This is a hack.
I want people to get it.
Not that it's hard to get Hawaii.
There's just so much beauty here,
but there's a lot more.
It figures Uncle Clay would be the one
to sum it up so perfectly.
I'm going to read you a little bit of
what's on the wall at the shave ice place.
The Pure Aloha Oath.
"I solemnly promise to live
every heartbeat of my life
from this day forward with pure aloha."
"I will unconditionally love every person
who crosses my path in life
as a fellow member
of our one world ohana."
So I want to thank Uncle Clay
and I want to thank everybody I met
in Hawaii from all over the world,
who come to make this place
a real diverse and beautiful culture,
for setting an example of how we can be.
Do you guys ever get sick
like, "All right, Uncle.
All right, not everything
can be the most loving, beautiful…
Come on, Uncle Clay."
[laughing]
Aloha.
[birds chirping]
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody ♪
♪ Somebody please, somebody please ♪
♪ Somebody, somebody feed Phil ♪
♪ Oh please somebody, somebody feed Phil ♪
♪ Somebody feed him now ♪