Somebody Feed Phil (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 2 - San Francisco - full transcript

[upbeat music playing]

[birds chirping]

[cable car bell ringing]

-[Phil] Hi. How are you?
-Hi.

-I loved your show on Lisbon.
-Oh, thanks. Did you go?

Yeah, I actually studied there
for three years.

Good for you.

It's really nice to see you.
What are you doing here?

-Oh.
-[laughing]

"What are you doing here?"

[upbeat theme music playing]



♪ A happy, hungry man ♪

♪ Is traveling all across
The sea and the land ♪

♪ He's trying to understand ♪

♪ The art of pasta,
pork, chicken, and lamb ♪

♪ He will drive to you ♪

♪ He will fly to you ♪

♪ He will sing for you ♪

♪ And dance for you ♪

♪ He will laugh with you ♪

♪ And he'll cry for you ♪

♪ There's just one thing
he asks in return ♪

♪ Somebody feed, somebody feed ♪

♪ Won't somebody, somebody feed Phil ♪

♪ Somebody feed him now ♪



[Phil] San Francisco,
the Paris of the Pacific.

Yes, that's what it was called,
like, in 1900.

It was so gloriously European
and so beautiful,

and then in 1902, they elected a mayor
who never worked in politics.

He was, like, a--
just like an entertainer.

But they thought, "That's what we need,"
and they elected this guy.

He was the most corrupt mayor

in the history of the United States
at this time.

Everything was built really shoddily.

Ninety percent of the buildings
were made of wood.

Everyone was being paid off,

and that corruption made
what was coming ten times worse.

Four years later, you know what happened?

A giant earthquake, 1906,

destroyed half the city,

and then the fire destroyed
almost the entire other half,

and it was absolutely devastating.

So here's my favorite part of the story.

There was an Italian immigrant
named AP Giannini.

A couple of years before the earthquake,
he had started a bank.

And he was the one out on the street
after the earthquake,

after the fire, giving loans
to the people to rebuild.

Yes, saved by an immigrant.

And now, that bank is the Bank of America.

And San Francisco, of course,
is one of the most beautiful cities

on the face of the Earth,
and I visit it every chance I get.

There are lots
of famous tourist attractions here,

but I'm starting today
with my kind of San Francisco landmark.

One of the great bakeries
in the country is Tartine,

and it was started here in San Francisco

by Liz Prueitt
and her partner Chad Robertson.

And we're visiting today
with my friend and culinary genius,

Kenji López-Alt.

This is where all the bread
in San Francisco, modern bread, started.

Tartine! How is it?

-[indistinct chatter]
-[Phil giggles]

The smell. You get the smell.
You could live here.

[Kenji laughs]

-Hi, Liz.
-[Liz] Hi.

-How are you?
-[Phil] I'm so happy to see you.

Look at that. Everything is beautiful.

Have I ever told you
what my favorite thing is?

-No, what?
-[Phil] That you make?

The chocolate croissant.

-[Liz] Oh, yeah.
-It's the best anywhere.

Ladies and gentlemen,
this is my favorite thing!

Who am I talking to, you?

[chuckles]

First of all, look at the glaze on the…

It's so beautiful,
it breaks like fine glass, right?

And then this luscious croissant pastry,

and then the chocolate is so…

great, and you put a lot in.

Chocolate croissant's a misnomer
'cause it's usually a thin little strip

of chocolate, you gotta bite
right through the center--

-I don't want to disparage the French…
-[chuckles]

but they could put a little more chocolate
in the chocolate croissant, right?

You want a little bit in every bite.

[Phil] Can you go there
as an exchange program

-where you teach them a thing or two?
-[Liz chuckles]

There's no better… There's no better…

-Did you get one?
-[woman 1] No.

-Can we give them a croissant?
-[Liz] Yeah.

A chocolate croissant for this young lady.

-What's your name? Come here.
-Catherine.

Have you had
their chocolate croissant before?

No, this is my first time here.

I'm so excited for you!
Look, isn't that beautiful?

I don't know
where to start with this.

-Yeah, like that! Yes!
-[Liz] That's a good spot to start.

[chuckling]

-Delicious.
-[Liz] Thanks.

-[woman 2] And she's French, so she knows.
-I'm particular about my croissants.

[Liz] There you go, Phil.

I was just saying,
the French got nothing on her.

-Not with this.
-This is delicious.

[Liz] This just came out of the oven.

Bread pudding,
topped with caramel strawberries.

-[Kenji] Heavy on the custard.
-Very heavy on the custard.

-So do we just pull a John Belushi and…
-[laughing]

-Dig.
-[Kenji] Bless you.

-[Liz] More strawberry?
-I love that.

[Phil] Who doesn't?

Look at her. This is what you want.

Liz giving you more strawberries
on your spoon as you bite.

-Can you come to my house?
-[Liz] Honestly, hot strawberries. Oh.

I think we have to try the éclair.

[Liz] Yeah. Oh, yeah!
You have to try the éclair.

[Phil laughs] I'm no dummy.

[Liz] I'm going to…

[Phil] Look at the gorgeous…

Like, you could see yourself in it.
It's so shiny.

-[Liz] There you go, yeah.
-I almost hate to do this.

[chuckles]

[Liz] Oh, my God. [laughs]

I warned you.

[man] We have a camera in the background.

So what?

You don't care. Do you care if you see
a camera? We know we're making a show.

Now a tour of the Mission.

Kenji's taking me
to some of his favorite spots.

We stop at Dynamo Donuts
because you gotta have a donut apparently.

Thank you.

A maple bacon. Here I go.

Every walk is made better with a donut.

What a gorgeous day.

I love this neighborhood.
Look at the trees.

This is literally every day
in San Francisco.

It's so nice.

Look at the murals.
Look at the architecture.

-It's spectacular, right?
-Yeah.

[Phil] Named after an 18th-century
Spanish mission,

the Mission District has had
a lively history,

first as a home to immigrants, and more
recently, becoming a trendy neighborhood.

We're here.

Torta land!

-Torta land, yeah.
-Come on.

Let's jaywalk, everybody.

La Torta Gorda! Hello, hello!

I heard you have tortas here.

I have tortas,
and I have all kinds that you can enjoy.

-Okay.
-All right.

Armando Macuil has been serving up food
from his home state of Puebla, Mexico,

since the early 2000s.
You can get all kinds of classics here,

but the biggest draw is the dish
that gives the place its name,

which is basically a sandwich
with everything.

And when I say "everything…"

[Armando] It has pulled pork, milanesa,

chorizo, turkey, ham,

refried beans, avocado, onions,

queso fresco, and American cheese.

-Please enjoy.
-[Kenji] Sounds great.

-Whoa, look at this.
-[chuckles]

This is insane.

[Kenji] Because it doesn't have the…

[Phil] Oh, my God.

-Why isn't this everywhere?
-[Kenji laughs]

No, really. It seems
like a simple concept, right?

If this was everywhere,
we wouldn't have space for pizza.

We wouldn't have space
for anything in our stomachs.

What a great place. You must go here
when you come to San Francisco.

This is the best way to see this city.

You get to meet people.
You're not moving too fast,

but you do have to hang on.

[bell rings]

You hear that bell, you think of--

All you think of is Rice-A-Roni.

[cable car bell rings]

There's an institution here
called Swan Oyster Depot.

And today we're going
with another institution in my life,

Mr. Mark Nassar, who I met
in college in 1977.

Mark is one of the founding fathers
of what's called participatory theater,

where the audience is part of the play.

-Philly, how you doing?
-Nice to see you.

Good to see you.

[Phil] This is my idea of heaven.

[indistinct chatter]

-It's 100 years old, the place?
-[Mark] It's 100 years old.

[Phil] They're brothers?

These are brothers,
some of their brothers--

-Six!
-[Mark] Six. Hey, guys, this is Phil.

-[Phil] Hi!
-Pleasure, Phil.

-What's your name?
-Tom.

Hi, Tom. How long you been here?

-Forever.
-[laughs]

-I might join you.
-[Mark] Yeah.

[Phil] Which one can give me
a little history of the place?

So these guys up here,
four Danish brothers. The Laustens.

They started the shop
the turn of the last century.

They got burned out
by the 1906 earthquake--

-And fire. Yeah.
-It ruined 'em.

And then they started up here 1912.
We've been here since we were kids.

My brother Jimmy, that's my nephew Kevin.

Look at these people.
One family with just seven brothers there.

Uh, one is more charming than the next.

-Hello, sir. I love your place.
-That's very kind of you. Thank you.

-Are you one of the brothers?
-I'm number five.

You got it from both ends, didn't you?

Yeah, I've been getting
kicked around all my life.

[Phil] I'm sorry.

How long did it take for you
to warm up to San Francisco?

[Mark] A little while.

In New York, it's right at you,
right up front. In San Francisco,

you don't know you got insulted
till you're halfway down the block.

It's like the South in that way,
a little bit.

It's one-of-a-kind city,
and everything happens here first.

All the activism…

It's the original liberal bastion
of the United States.

I always say, it's where the Constitution
is actually honored.

Life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness.

-Right.
-[Mark] That's San Francisco, you know?

I always thought,
"The pursuit of happiness,"

it was my favorite phrase
of the Constitution.

What other country allows for that?

Who else cares
if you're frigging happy, right?

But the pursuit of happiness,

that's everything.

And even when we were struggling
in New York trying to make a dollar,

to be able to pursue what we love?

Oh, my God.

I actually felt lucky to live on my own,

to have a terrible job,

[chuckles]

and maybe audition for something
and get in something.

-I know.
-It was everything.

Exciting, right?

Look, here comes the…
Here comes what the place is named after.

We got six different oysters,
two of everything we got.

-Good.
-This is spicy Thai chili on the left.

-Cheers, my friend. Good to see you.
-Cheers, Phil.

It's only been 43 years
since I've known you.

Wow.

-Yes, right away.
-[Mark] Right away.

Right away, nice.

Look at this. Look at this.
Look at this. Look at this.

[Mark] Dungeness crab.
Maybe the best crab.

If you were
in the fanciest restaurant in the world,

you wouldn't have anything
as delicious and luxurious.

We're not cracking. They did it all.

I'm too old to crack.

Maybe forty years ago,
I could have cracked a little.

-What's your name?
-Jimmy.

Jimmy, I know you're the brains
behind the operation.

You know it. You know it.

Jimmy.

-It's us. Oh!
-Here we go.

[Chef] We call this
a Sicilian sashimi. It's a medium.

You got hamachi, ahi tuna, local halibut,

salmon, scallops,
and a little sardine filet.

There's a huge Japanese influence
in this city,

so this is a mash-up
of Japanese and Italian.

-[Mark] Which is sardine?
-This one. You want to start with it?

Wow.

Come on, now.

This is just like the cafeteria
at Hofstra.

[chuckling]

-Smoked salmon?
-[Chef] Yes.

This is our one-of-a-kind smoked salmon.

They're on their third generation.

-I think it's the best thing on the menu.
-Best thing on the menu?

-More water?
-No, thank you.

Mm. Wow.

-This is unique.
-It's spectacular.

-Come on!
-How's that, Phil?

I like it!

-My God, are you serious?
-Glad to see it.

-Isn't it amazing?
-Fantastic.

Bye, you guys.
There's some seats open now.

Have fun.

[laughs]

-Oh, my God. It was fantastic.
-Fun.

Usually we know where we're going
in advance on this show,

but sometimes, I get distracted.

-Wait, this is Bob's Donuts.
-This is Bob's?

I'm hearing this is the most famous
donut place in San Francisco.

This is old school.

Oh, look at that chocolate cruller.
That looks like me.

♪ How much is that cruller
In the window? ♪

Let's see.

Let's start with apple
because that's more healthy.

[laughs]

-Oh, my God. Mark.
-Come on, now.

-We're going to hell.
-[chuckles]

Get in there. This looks…

Wow.

Oh, my God. That's the best bear claw
I've ever had in my life.

That's not a bear claw.
That's an-- That's an apple fritter.

-Apple fritter.
-That's why it's such a good bear claw.

-That's why it's the best one I've had.
-This is a chocolaty treat, Mark.

Look how soft. Crazy soft.

I don't know San Francisco for donuts.
Now, I know--

I've been to two great donut places.

All right, we now
have to walk off our damage.

-I say we go uphill.
-All right.

Which is not hard to find.

So I had such a great day the first day.

It was so wonderful.

And then at midnight, I woke up,

and this has never happened before

in the whole history
of shooting this thing,

but I woke up like this.

Uh-oh.

Yes. I was up all night.

Uh, how do I put this delicately?

[imitating a gush] "Bouge-gush"
[laughs]

[crew laughing]

It's not fun, people. It's-- Listen.

Am I lucky to have this job? Yes.

Are there occupational hazards? Yes.

"Bouge-gush" is one of them. [laughs]

But the next day,
you know, the show must go on.

And my brother, the producer,
had the great idea

to now put me on a boat.

[suspenseful music playing]

I'm not seaworthy, really.

If you look at me, I see a boat,
I get a little nauseous.

But today, we're going,

because look, the bay is beautiful.

I'll be throwing up.

[crew laughing]

This is a beautiful boat.
It's from Passage Nautical,

and I'm sailing with Captain Barry
and Michelin-starred Chef Mourad

and his fiancee Mathilde,

who's a principal dancer
with the San Francisco Ballet.

And this is our friend Allie Lazar
from Buenos Aires.

This is a Beneteau Oceanis 51.1.
It's got a couple of bedrooms in it.

It's got a few bathrooms that I'm sure
I'll need, and, uh, we're off.

[pops]

[Phil] Salud, to the high seas!

-[Mourad] Welcome to San Francisco.
-I love it.

Look, we're in the water!

Help!

…on the water.

We're on the water.

Thank you, Barry,
I might've been projecting.

This is Alcatraz over here, we're passing?

[woman] Yeah.

[Phil] There was one escape.
You ever see that movie?

Escape from Alcatraz, it's called.
Good name for the movie about--

Wonder what it's about.
Who would've thought?

Clint Eastwood, it's one of his best.
You see it?

-[Mourad] Never seen it.
-You got to watch it.

-I love a prison movie.
-Me, too.

An escape-from-prison movie. I love it.

Maybe it's because I'm married
for 30 years.

[laughs] Please, don't.

-[laughs] I'm gonna make marriage jokes.
-I'm so close to it.

I'm hoping by the end of the boat ride,

she turns to him and says,
"The wedding is off."

[all laugh]

[Barry] It's bouncy as we head
towards the Golden Gate Bridge.

So if you have a glass of wine,
you might want to hold on.

How about my stomach.
Will somebody hold on to that?

I'm just afraid
the wind's gonna screw up my hair.

[indistinct chatter]

[Phil] Whoa!

[Barry] Hold on, Phil.

[Phil] That's not the boat
coming apart, is it?

-[Barry] No.
-[Phil] I would've made a terrible pirate.

I would've been known
as the "Crying Pirate."

[in scared voice] It's tilting, captain.
The boat is tilting."

-[Barry] We're good. Phil, want to drive?
-[Phil] Yes!

-All right.
-Good!

Aim for the middle
of the Golden Gate Bridge.

-[Phil] Yes.
-[Barry] There you go.

[Phil] And which one is the Golden Gate?

-[Barry] The orange one.
-[Phil] All right.

How many points do I get
for each kitesurfer?

[all laughing]

It's getting a little rough.

I might have to make a poop deck joke.

Wow!

Come on!

This is crazy.

[piano playing]

-Hey! Hey! Oh!
-Hi.

-Bonjour.
-Bonjour. Bonjour.

[Phil] Dominique Crenn is one
of the best chefs in America.

She's the first female chef
to ever win three Michelin stars,

and I had never eaten
at one of her places.

Today, she wants to take me
to Petit Crenn,

which is her more casual restaurant.
We'll sit at the bar,

and they'll just feed us
their little tasting menu,

and I couldn't be more excited.

-[Dominique] Are you hungry?
-You know me.

Yeah, I do.

Monsieur!

-Nice.
-[Phil] Nice.

Thank you.

-So--
-By the way, I love that.

-Yes.
-Tell me, what's that called, that device?

Um, a firewood grill?

[Dominique]
This place opened in August 2015,

and the idea was to bring
the food that I grew up with,

seafood and vegetable only.

You wouldn't know to look at her,
but Dominique has been struggling

with cancer for the last year,

and, uh, she has one of the best attitudes

of any human being
I've ever seen with this.

-You look fantastic!
-Thank you.

You'd never think
that anything's going on.

You know, I think It's about the attitude.

-Yes.
-And how you look at it.

When you hear the "C" word...

[serious voice] "You have cancer."

Then you just have to realize
that "Okay, okay. I'm here.

What can I do?

Give it to me."

So I've done 12 treatments,

and I have four more to go.

I'm almost at the end, so…

-But it's going well.
-It's going well.

That-- that's great.

[Dominique] Here you go.
Let's start here.

-Thank you, Chef.
-You're welcome.

[Chef]
Here we have a comté cheese gougère.

On top, we have a pickled shallot gel.

-[Dominique] This one--
-[Phil] These are gorgeous.

[Dominique] One bite. Mm.

-[Phil] You like it too.
-I like it too.

I'm glad you like it. [chuckles]

-This looks serious.
-[Dominique] Yes, it is.

This is an uni custard.
The uni's coming from Santa Barbara.

[Dominique] You should smell it, also.
You can smell this sea in it.

[Phil]
Luckily, I'm well equipped for smelling.

Wow. Here I go.

Bon appétit.

Come on.

Next, some perfect late-season tomatoes
get the Dominique treatment.

Pow! Oh, that's tomato.

It needs to be in your face.

You should call this dish,
"Tomato needs to be in your face."

[Dominique laughing]

-[Phil] Look at that. Wow.
-[Chef] You're lucky.

You got the last peas of the season.

[Phil] This is one of the more beautiful
dishes in the world. Look at that.

-[Dominique] People, come on.
-[Phil] People, come on.

I don't know if you work
with your grandmother,

but you know the things about…
"You clean the peas with your grandmother,

and then your grandmother
tells you story about life."

That's in France. I was in New York.

I didn't know, when I was a kid,

-peas didn't come from a can.
-[Dominique] Right.

[Phil] This is fantastic. Oh, my God.
You could be a vegetarian with that.

Vegetables can be rock stars.

It could be the name of this dish.

Maybe we need to change
the menu right now.

What was the tomato?
"Tomato in your Face."

[Phil] "Tomatoes need to be in your face."
But "Tomatoes in your face" is better.

To San Francisco.

To San Francisco.

[chuckles] I like how you say it.

[Dominique]
I left my heart in San Francisco, right?

[Phil] Is that where I left it?

[mellow music playing]

We go to Golden Gate Park,
which is even bigger than Central Park.

You know I love a park.

And you know that this
is a gorgeous city anyway,

and the climate and the land that we're on

is so conducive to beautiful trees
and wildlife.

Please don't hurt me.

[birds chirping]

I just sat down. I thought I was in
a scene from Hitchcock's The Birds, but…

[chuckles]

It was very charming and lovely.

I felt a little like Snow White.

And speaking of fairy tale royalty,
here's the one and only Alice Waters.

She's taking me on a personal tour

of what might be my favorite place
in town, the Ferry Building.

We start with breakfast.

I met the great Alice Waters 15 years ago.
I've been in love with her ever since.

She's just the most charming, lovely lady.

She also happened to create
the way we eat in America.

She started the farm-to-table movement
almost single-handedly.

She's responsible for the edible
schoolyard. She doesn't stop.

-[Alice] This is beautiful.
-It is.

-Oh.
-[Phil] It's like eating jewelry.

It really is. [chuckles]

[Phil] Here's another thing I love
about Alice Waters.

She likes eating salad and fruit
like this with her hands.

-[laughs]
-She made me feel okay. I'm not a slob.

I'm like Alice.

Food with your hands tastes better.

-Oh, my God, that's so sweet.
-Yeah.

That's like candy.

We're going to bring this to schools.

Yes, because if your first taste of melon
is this, you really--

You love melon.

-God, that tastes great.
-[Phil] This is really…

This is a tribute to you, I think.
This bowl. 'Cause this is what you do.

I remember one of my favorite desserts
at Chez Panisse was tangerines and dates.

I like to feed people an idea. [chuckles]

-May I take this plate for you?
-Oh, my goodness.

I don't think you should take it.
You need to make room for it.

[waitress] So, these are the sardines.
They're local from the Bay right out here.

[Phil] This one has my name on it.

Oh.

You may have to take this little bone out.

Artist, idiot.

[chuckles]

I got a mouthful of bones
because I didn't debone it.

-Let's see if I can do this.
-No, the other way.

-This way.
-Yeah, go down the backbone.

[Phil] Uh-huh!

-Uh-huh.
-Yeah. Exactly.

Thank you, Alice Waters.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.
From zero to hero.

-[laughs]
-And now…

Ah.

Wow, is that perfect?

Well, that's beautiful.

So these are scrambled eggs

with a buffalo stracciatella cheese,

a Titone olive oil on top, some herbs,
and wilted summer squash.

This is up there with my favorite egg
I've ever had, which is in your house.

-[chuckles]
-Alice has a fireplace…

-[Alice] It's in my kitchen.
-You took a big spoon.

You cracked that egg on the spoon,
and you just held it in the fire.

And it was the best egg
I ever had in my life. Yeah.

But this is pretty damn close.

-This is pretty great.
-[Alice] It's pretty great.

[Phil] I could finish this whole thing.
I really could, but…

we have some more things to do.

[Alice] We do.

-[Phil] Hi, everybody.
-[woman] Hey.

Oh, look at this.

We got the Cal Red peach here
if you're interested.

I'm very interested.

That's one of those heritage peaches
I was telling-- Cal Red.

This is a superstar?

This is a superstar.
One of our main cash cow crops actually.

I need to taste it one more time
to make sure it's a superstar.

Hee-hee.

The farmer's right there
if you're interested in talking to him.

Yeah, I want to talk to him.

Look at this. Alice says,
"Know your farmer."

-Wow. She really knows him.
-[chuckles]

-We do know each other.
-[Phil] Hi.

-I'm Phil.
-Phil, pleased to meet you. I'm Farmer Al.

Farmer Al, you make the best peach ever.
It's just incredible.

Aren't those great?

Yeah, they're great.

[Alice chuckles]

-And this is Madame.
-Hello!

-[woman] Hi.
-You're working.

[woman] Yes.

[Phil] It looks like a scene
from Our Town.

Alice knows everybody here

because she helped pull
the whole Ferry Building project together,

from curating the vendors
to choosing the farmers.

-[Alice] Hi.
-[man] Nice to see you.

-This is an apple grower.
-Hi. Oh. Hi.

-I'm Dan.
-Hi, Dan.

I-- I would cast you as an apple grower.

This is the look of a guy
who wants to be this.

[sizzling]

[Phil] Alice, look. Wow!

Hee-hee-hee. Another breakfast?

[chuckles] I don't know.
I can't keep up with you, Phil.

Sure you can.

Right?

-Oh, man. They don't even look real.
-[Alice] Aren't they amazing?

I've never seen color like this.

[Alice] Yeah, that should be good.

Hee-hee.

Juicy. Good.

[Phil] Porchetta, come on.

[Alice chuckles]

[Phil]
That's an amazing pork sandwich, you guys.

I think they loaded it up extra for you.

All right, take-- I'll hold this.
You take this with both hands.

All right? Don't try to put
the whole thing in your mouth,

just take, like, the bottom right corner.

-Bottom right corner, right there.
-Yeah. Yeah.

That's it.

[chuckles]

Okay, now you.

[Alice chuckles]

[Phil] It's so good.

People!

You know about this, people?

We're gonna go see Tanya.

[Alice] Yes.
She's way down on the other end.

[Phil] You might have seen
Tanya Holland on Top Chef.

She's got a place
called Brown Sugar Kitchen in Oakland.

Today, I'm going to her pop-up
at the Ferry Building.

-[Tanya] I love the rose-colored glasses.
-[Alice] I know.

-Hey, Phil. Nice to meet you.
-How are you? I love meeting you.

You have to have a waffle.
That just goes without saying.

-I'm gonna taste a waffle--
-[Tanya] And chicken.

And I'm afraid
I have to taste the chicken.

I mean, I'm not… I'm here.

Just taste it. And today is
National Waffle Day, literally.

-Who knew?
-Your timing is amazing.

Happy Waffle Day, everybody!

-Waffles for everybody!
-[Tanya] One chicken and waffle, please.

[Phil] Here at Brown Sugar Kitchen,
the waffle is the vegetable.

This came right out of the thing.
We don't need anything.

-You can taste the corn.
-Oh, God.

[Phil] Right?

It's yeast-risen.
That's why it's so light and fluffy.

-[Alice] Is that what it is?
-Yeah.

I think this is the waffle of my life.

-I know we just met, but I love you.
-Oh, thank you. I love you too.

-You're on your way, aren't you?
-I am.

Alice Waters, everybody!

-[Alice chuckles]
-[crowd cheers]

I love you. It's such a--

-This was so much fun for me.
-Alice, Phil, look this way.

Some of my favorite people.

[Phil] One of my favorite things about
San Francisco and the rest of the world

is you never know where your next
great meal is gonna come from.

[man 1] You want hot sauce?

[Phil] Sure.

So a lady comes and delivers?

-Yup.
-Yup.

Is this your favorite?

It's a good one.

What's the name of this place?

[man 2] We just call it "the lady."

[all laugh]

[man 1] Yeah.

[Phil] It's like having your mom.

Pretty much. Yeah.

That's what we would do
when we were kids.

"Hey, what does the lady have for us
for lunch today?"

[chuckling]

How old is she?

-I think it's like 35?
-35?

Never tell a woman's age.

Well, I think. I think.
I didn't ask. Right?

It's a friendly place,
most of the time here.

[man 2] We are friendly guys, that's why.

Yeah, yeah.

[man 2] Because a place can be,
you know, hard to work with.

But if you have co-workers that are good,
everything is fine.

You know what?
It's like that in every business.

I'm sure you're a tight-knit crew.
You have to travel with these guys.

That's right.

It takes a lot to not choke somebody
once in a while.

Yes, and I work with my brother.
Can you imagine--

-Oh, my God. [laughing]
-[man] For real?

[Phil] In less than two hours from town,
you're in another world.

The wine country of Napa Valley.

It's America's Tuscany.

Even before I had this job,

I became friendly with arguably
the best chef in America, Thomas Keller.

I met him when the great James L. Brooks

had the crazy idea to cast me
as a chef in the movie Spanglish.

Thomas was the culinary consultant
on the film.

Today, we'll start our tour
at his flagship restaurant,

The French Laundry.

-Hey.
-Chef.

-Good to see you.
-I love seeing you.

-Welcome back.
-I'm in the happiest place on Earth.

-Good. Nice to hear.
-We're doing a tour

of, uh, Thomas Keller world.

We'll go inside and have you taste
a few things, show you the kitchen.

Yes, you need me to taste a few things

because we have to make sure
it's okay for the people.

I am underdressed for the French…

-Yes, good.
-[Thomas] Very quiet.

Very quiet. Hello, nice to meet you.

[Phil] Hi, everybody! How you doing?

-David Breeden's our chef de cuisine.
-Hi, chef!

-Alison Beazley, one of our sous chefs.
-How are you?

They have a TV that connects them live.

A live transmission to Per Se,
his restaurant in New York,

which is very much like the French Laundry
but not the French Laundry, per se.

Oh! I love it. Look at that.
The famous connection to New York.

We wanted you to know
how much we love you.

I love you guys. Hi. Hi.

I thought I was picking you up,
I wasn't expecting all this.

This is Elliot, our executive sous chef.

-Pleasure.
-Nice to meet you.

Regiis Ova caviar.

Oh, my God. I know what this is.

This is probably the signature dish.

-This is osetra?
-Correct.

[Phil] This is the greatest day ever.

[Thomas] Okay. I have never eaten
this dish in its entirety.

I've eaten all the components separately.

So in my mind, I understand
what it tastes like…

-Can we get you today, on camera--
-To taste it for the first time?

Having a bite of it, of, uh,
the oysters and pearls together?

This will be the first time
in over 25 years, so this is for you.

-Go ahead, you take the first bite.
-[Phil] Okay.

And I-- I will dig in with you.

-[Thomas] Good?
-I hope you like it.

[laughing]

Mm. Now I understand
why everybody likes it so much.

We're gonna go and see Sandra,
our pastry chef and see.

-Chefs, thank you very much.
-[Phil] You know I like her.

Oh, we have some of our garden
that just came in.

[Phil] Wow.

[chuckles]

[sniffs]

-It just feels good on the face.
-[Phil] It does.

-This is Sandra, our pastry chef.
-Nice to see you again.

-I love seeing you. How are you?
-I'm so well.

-Yeah.
-[Thomas] Tell us what you have there.

Oh, okay. This is the chocolate box.

-Yeah.
-With the…

-Oh.
-[Sandra chuckles]

We're really proud of this particular box.

It's really colorful, playful,
has a lot of different flavors all around.

They're works of art.

[Thomas] The beautiful thing about this
is, you can tell a good chocolate

by the thickness of the shell.

[Phil] Wow. Wow. [gasps]

[Thomas] You see how thin that is.
That's the important thing.

Because it's really about what's inside.
That's the prize.

Yes. That's right.

Unfortunately, you can't serve
that now, right?

-[Thomas] No, no.
-[Phil] Hee-hee.

Chef, that was awesome.

Next up, Bouchon.

Bouch-- You know,
Bouchon opened because

we at The French Laundry needed a place
to go eat after service.

Oh, brilliant.

[Thomas] Here in Napa Valley,
everything closed at nine o'clock.

We said, "We have to have a place to go."
Bouchon became that place to go.

You are the lesson.
This is what I tell the kids.

-"You want it? Make it!"
-[Thomas] Right. Make it.

Our number one seller here
at Bouchon is the steak frites.

A nice French Bordeaux
with the steak frites.

Right? You got to go there.

We coat it with caramelized shallots,
and of course, french fries.

Ketchup or mayonnaise?

Why choose?

Ah. Good point.

Shall we?

Mm. Mm.

-You think I'll like it?
-Mm. Mm.

Chefs, thank you very much!

-You guys are geniuses. Thank you.
-Thank you!

-We're happy to have you.
-[Thomas] There they go.

-We have an apron for you.
-[Phil] Excellent.

Thank you, chef.

[chef] Fuhgeddaboudit is
a Rice Krispie treat with a caramel layer,

and we dip it in milk chocolate
and sprinkle it with fleur de sel.

That is a good idea. What would you
like me to do to ruin it?

-[chef] You drop them in, then--
-[Phil] I can do that. I'm a good dropper.

[chef] You take it, and then you flip it.

You take it out and you dip it.

[Phil] That was kind of beautiful
how you did it.

-Dip it?
-[chef] Yes.

Flip it.

[Phil] Get off of there.

-[Thomas] Drop 'em?
-Yes, caramel side down.

[Thomas] Well, don't--

I know, Chef. I know.

I can do this part,
the dip it and the flip it.

Do you remember in Spanglish,
Thomas was the culinary consultant,

and Jim Brooks created

a replica of the French Laundry kitchen.

And so, you know,
you were pretty much directing with him

when we did the kitchen scenes.

-It was a lot of fun.
-[Phil] It was fun.

But I made a mistake during filming.

I took the towel that was here,
and I put it here for a second.

-Over your shoulder. Yeah
-I did.

And I think you said, "Cut!"

-Yeah.
-[Phil] And you ran over,

and you took it and put it in my thing.

You said, "You're not in a diner."

-Right.
-[Phil] I was like…

[crew laughing]

"Don't screw up. Don't screw up."
Yeah, I learned.

[Thomas] What are we wrapping, Sarah?

[Sarah] We have our Fuhgeddaboudits
and our peanut butter cups--

-Peanut butter cups.
-You know that's…

-Let's go see the peanut butter cup.
-[Phil] Yours are really the best. Oh.

We also caramelize cacao nibs
and process them super fine and--

[Thomas] Put them inside.

-Add a little crunch to it.
-Get a little crunch.

The balance of chocolate
to peanut butter is perfect.

By the way, that's the happiest rack
in the world. Look.

[all laughing]

[Thomas] Macaroons. The Oh Ohs.

Yeah, those are killer.

Because that's like a glorified Yodel.

Right. Which is good, huh?

They're yummy, and it's so good.

I know. I know.

You can tell that a lot of our repertoire
comes from our childhood.

Peanut butter and jelly was something
I had almost every day.

If I didn't have peanut butter and jelly,

I had bologna and American cheese
with mayonnaise.

Those were my two go-to sandwiches
my mother made me.

Are you working on a version?

-Of the bologna and cheese?
-We are. Yeah, actually.

This is a crazy thing, right?

-For breakfast, the cheese danish.
-Oh, my God.

[Chef] Crazy. With a cuppa of coffee?

-"With a cuppa coffee." Where you from?
-I'm from Long Island.

Yeah! I went to school
at Hofstra University. "Cuppa coffee."

Let's pop in the baking room
real quick so you can see--

Nice to meet you, Long Island.

-Thank you, chefs!
-Thank you, chefs.

-Peanut butter cup for the road?
-Of course I do.

-[cameraman] I'll hold it for you.
-Say goodbye to that one.

-[Thomas] We're making épis.
-Yeah.

Which are this, right?

-[Thomas] So Francois is gonna show you…
-Yes.

No.

Come on the other side.
You'll be more comfortable on his side.

You can see what he does.
I'll stand on this side and critique.

But I'm gonna be terrible.

[Francois] So the goal is for 11 cuts,

and each of 12 pieces
will be the same size.

[chuckles]

[cameraman] Oh, my God.

[laughing]

[Phil] The Keller hits
just keep on coming, with Ad Hoc.

My God, look what's coming.

-Here we go.
-A bucket of fried chicken.

Forget Colonel Sanders, baby.

-[Phil] Come on.
-[Chef] It's hot.

Both of them really good. It's hot.
It's hot. It's molten. Be careful.

It's like the best crust,
and then it's super juicy.

Man, I've eaten a lot today. Right?

I've done a tour of your world.

-[Thomas] Right.
-And yet…

-[Thomas] Yeah?
-[happy grunt]

I'm just really proud
of what happens here.

I'm proud, too.
Richard, I saved you some.

[Richard laughs]

[Skype call ringing]

-[Monica] Hi!
-[Max] Hi!

[Phil gasps] Look how beautiful you look.

[gasps]

I'm talking to my dad.

You, too, Monica. You look beautiful.

-Thank you. You like my pink top?
-[Phil] I do.

I like how you shaved. Shaven.

-[Phil] Yeah?
-Much better.

She actually suggested the beard
because I think she was tired of the face.

-Oh, all right then.
-Mix it up.

How's it going over there? I know, uh,
Monica's staying with you a little bit.

-Yes.
-Is she doing a good job

or it's enough already?

Yeah, well, she's…

She-- we have help,
so she's adding on to-- to the help.

[Phil] So you're saying
you don't need her, really?

No.

[all laughing]

I'm having fun in San Francisco.

Monica, you've been to Tartine.

-The bakery…
-I have.

[Phil] Hee-hee-hee.

My favorite thing.

-[Max] What's that?
-They brought it for me today.

This is the chocolate croissant.
I mean, like Paris.

This is for one person?

[laughs]

That should be the name of it.

But listen to this when you bite it.

[crunches]

I am ruining a computer.

[Phil and Monica laughing]

You have a joke for us today?

I don't know if you heard the--

This old man was in a camp.

-And there was a big accident.
-Yes?

And he was thrown out of the camp,
and he landed on the sidewalk.

[Phil] Yeah?

And, uh, some Good Samaritan came over,

and took off his jacket, put it
under his head, and he said to him,

"Are you comfortable?"
He said, "Eh, I make a living."

[chuckles]

It's like an old song you like hearing
over and over.

[chuckles] Right?

All right, Burns and Allen, I…

[chuckles]

I gotta go. Aw.

You like your daughter-in-law?

-She's okay.
-[laughing]

All right, I love you!

-I'll see you later.
-[Monica] We love you, Richard!

What do you mean?
I just said I love you,

and I get back, "We love you, Richard."

[Monica and Max laughing]
We love you too, Philip.

Oh, thanks. At least I have croissants
to keep me company.

Goodbye.

The San Francisco Bay area has always
been a place of struggle and rebirth,

and they're still going through it now.

There's one more place I want to show you
that embodies the strength

that's kept this area going
through the tough times.

All right, here's--
here's a great story, uh…

An oncologist at the children's hospital
started this place, Family House.

Because when you think
about your kid being sick…

…you're only thinking about,
and the doctors are only thinking about,

your kid getting better.

But you've got to be around there too.

So if it's your child,
you'd want to be close by.

So Family House was created
by this oncologist

as a place for families to stay together.

Oh! Look at the people.

Hello, everybody.

It's a special day here at Family House
because look who came with me. Mourad.

Hey, great to see you. Hi. Hello.

Kenji, Liz Prueitt.

-Who's this?
-This is Juliana.

Juliana. You're very pretty.

And Dominique Crenn.
They all brought food,

and they're here to help
the kids make pizza

with San Francisco's favorite pizzaiola,
Tony Gemignani,

a real-life pizza champ,
who's definitely a champ to these kids.

-What's your name?
-[woman] Capri.

Capri, like the island?

Yes.

-Wow.
-[laughing]

-So who likes pizza?
-[girl] I do!

Who loves pizza?

[cheering]

-All right.
-Capri!

I'm gonna teach you how to toss a pizza.

So I want to get nice and loud.
Let's do this. Really loud.

[tapping]

Okay, so you spin it
on your fingers really quick.

I'll show you a couple tricks.

-A little across-the-shoulder.
-[Phil] Look at that.

Who likes a big pizza?

I like a big one.

[Tony] It's a little sunny in California.
Stand under that.

-[kids] Whoa!
-[all laughing]

Who's cold and chilly?
I'll get you a blanket.

That's so silly, please.

[all laugh]

-[Tony] You look beautiful.
-Oh, my God.

-Do you want to make a pizza?
-Yeah!

Look, I got the cheese.
You can't make pizza without cheese!

[Capri] We need cheese.

We need cheese.

[Tony] When you put cheese on your pizza,
try to cover up your sauce.

Yeah, good job.

[Phil] Who likes extra cheese?

I like extra cheese.

-You're funny.
-I am?

-Yeah.
-That's nice.

It's fun 'cause you can eat as you cook.

Do you like olives?
Have you tried these yet?

[Tony] Who's done? Are you ready? Oh, man.

-What do you think? Good.
-Good.

She's selecting only the finest pimentos
for her pizza.

-Hi, what's your name?
-Raja.

-Hi, Raja. It's nice to meet you.
-[man] See what's going on on her feet?

Wow. All right, if there's a blackout,
you're in charge.

This is Alexandra, everybody.
She runs the place!

Yeah!

[all cheering, clapping]

Many of our families
come from at least 50 miles away.

They spend the day in the hospital,

and the last thing they want to do
when they come back from the hospital

is sit down and figure out
how they'll go shopping and make a dinner.

I always found that food

was a very good way of showing people
that you care about them.

Food creates family and community,

and it's where we all talk
about how we love one another.

Bless you and all of you guys.

Indeed.

-[Tony] First one's coming.
-[Phil] Bravo!

[clapping, cheering]

[Tony] Oh, good job.

[Capri] It's huge.

You didn't expect it to be that big?

-No.
-[Phil] That's what happens.

[Tony] Yeah.

[Phil] How's the pizza?

Good.

Should I try the Capri?
Am I allowed to try it?

-[woman laughs] No.
-[Tony] Taking too long.

She said,"No."

Actually, yes.

I have a ton of pieces. You can have it.

I can? Capri! Which piece should I have?

Thank you. I'm very honored.

-The combo works very well.
-[Capri] Thanks.

I think you might be onto something.

Maybe you can sell the recipe to Tony.

Chocolate cake, guys. Chocolate cake?

[Phil] Everybody, let's thank
all the chefs who came today.

Let's hear it for Family House!

[all clapping, cheering]

[Phil] The story of San Francisco
after the earthquake sums up

what's great about this city.

There are so many parts I love.

I love the hope in it.

I love the immigrant story part of it.

I love that everything,

no matter how dark it seems
and how terrible,

everything can have a rebirth.

What I'm saying is, there's hope, people.

San Francisco.

Good story.

[theme music playing]

♪ Come sit at his table ♪

♪ If you're happy,
hungry, willing and able ♪

♪ See how breaking bread ♪

♪ Can turn a stranger
right into a friend ♪

♪ He will drive to you ♪

♪ He will fly to you ♪

♪ He will sing for you ♪

♪ And he'll dance for you ♪

♪ He will laugh with you ♪

♪ And he'll cry for you ♪

♪ There's just one thing
he asks in return ♪

♪ Somebody feed, somebody feed ♪

♪ Somebody, somebody feed Phil ♪

♪ Oh please somebody, somebody feed Phil ♪

♪ Somebody feed him now ♪