Somebody Feed Phil (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Buenos Aires - full transcript

I'm supposed to see this guy,
he's a genius with horses.

I'm looking at this thing,
and I'm going,

"I don't know
how you got the horse to do it.

I don't know if you even should
get a horse to do this.

Is it even legal in many places?"

# A happy, hungry man #

# Is traveling all across the sea
And the land #

# He's trying to understand #

# The art of pasta, pork
Chicken and lamb #

# He will drive to you
He will fly to you #

# He will sing for you
And dance for you #



# He will laugh with you
And he'll cry for you #

# There's just one thing
He asks in return #

# Somebody feed, somebody feed #

# Won't somebody, somebody feed Phil #

# Somebody feed him now #

Buenos Aires.
It just sounds romantic, doesn't it?

It just has always been out there for me
as a place that I always wanted to go,

I knew nothing about...

but it always seemed elegant, you know?

And my imagination is filled
with people tangoing in the streets,

and I heard the meat was really good.

And that's all I really needed
to motivate me to come here.

You feel like you're in Europe
with the grand architecture,

beautiful parks,



these very mature trees
and they line the sidewalks

and these wide avenues.

All right, are you ready? We're going in.

First stop: El Obrero.

Kind of an Argentinian version of a diner.

This is a traditional bodegón.

Casual place.

- Casual place.
- But with great food.

- Great food. Food from the city, you know?
- Yeah.

Soledad Nardelli is a world-class chef.

This is one of her favorite places,

and we're going to eat
what the people eat.

Here in Buenos Aires,
we are all sons of immigrants.

Like Spanish people, Italian people.
My surname is Nardelli--

- Italy.
- Yes.

Soledad tells me
obrero means worker.

Una tortilla. Spanish tortilla.

I think we're putting
our stomachs to work.

This is your first time in Buenos Aires?

- First time in South America.
- No!

- Yeah.
- Oi.

What was the first thing you had
in mind when you say Argentina?

I don't know. The Pope?

- Tango?
- Steak.

I think we are much more than that.

Oh, I see what you mean.
Like fried calamari

and this french fry thing
called revuelto gramajo.

It's ham,
scrambled eggs, fried potatoes.

Mm.

I knew what it would taste like
by looking at it, and it's even better.

This is a dish that you can only eat
in bodegones near the port.

And the people who came were workers.

They don't have lots of money.

- So they--
- They don't have a lot of time.

So they need to eat quick
and with calories.

What's my excuse?

Panqueque de dulce leche.

This is my favorite.
This is the dulce de leche pancake.

Which is just
the most beautiful way to say caramel.

Sugar sprinkled on top

and then,
because it's not quite delicious enough...

ice cream on top.

Ba-boom!

This is
the star of the show right here.

- Panqueque de dulce leche.
- Wow.

- Yes, it's our identity--
- It's kind of a national dish--

I was just gonna say.

- Yes.
- You say it's your identity.

It's crispy and then soft inside.

It's a dulce de leche crepe really.

But we do it just a little bit thicker.

You call it pancake.

Our one.

- For you.
- What?

I can't put it in my suitcase.
Know what's gonna happen?

I put it in my suitcase,
it opens, everything is destroyed.

The first Spanish explorers landed
here on the banks of the Río de la Plata

in the 16th century.

And European immigration
has fed this city ever since.

Some 17 million people live here now

and call themselves porteños,
which means people of the port.

The international vibe is in full effect

at Los Galgos,
a café known for its happy hour.

This will be a good place to learn
some porteño pointers

with the help of this guy.

Rodolfo.

Mixology expert Rodolfo Reich.

You used to write about movies, right?

Yeah, but that was
like 20 years ago maybe.

You don't look that old.

Alcohol is a very good preservative.

It helps pickle you.

I'm like a pickle.

- Like a pickle.
- How you say?

Julián! Nice to see you.

Nice to see you.

Julián Díaz took this old bar
that had fallen into disrepair.

It's like an 80, 90-year-old bar,
and he restored it.

We were just saying we love
what you did with the place.

Oh, thank you very much.

This bar is open
with coffee in the morning,

and it goes all the way
late into the night.

And this is a typical bar for porteños?

- Yeah.
- But I love this idea of cocktails on tap.

In Argentina, we love the negroni.

That's equal parts gin,
Campari, and sweet vermouth

for those of you playing along at home.

Ooh.

It's strong.

That's fuerte.

Today's not going to finish
very well for you.

I'm sorry about that, but...

Always for us, drink something
is eat something.

A snack?

Yes, in Argentina,
this is just a snack.

A big plate of marinated tongue

and a slice of rolled stuffed flank steak
called matambre.

All the food we're serving in Los Galgos
is Argentinian typical food.

If you go to a Christmas,
you will find all this stuff.

Here it's very hot in Christmas,
so this stuff--

Right! You have hot Christmas
because we're upside down here.

Meaning I am upside down here.

Mm.

- Nice. You like it?
- I love it.

This is potato tortilla.

Wow! This is just for happy hour?
This is just for--

Yes. Just for a start.

Really? Why would you have
dinner afterwards? This is like...

Because, in Buenos Aires,
you know, we have dinner very late.

At home we have dinner at 9:00,
9:30, maybe ten o'clock.

And then what time do you get up for work?

Oh, the same as everybody, at 7:00.

Yeah, if you go to dance,
you go at two o'clock in the morning.

And you still get up at 7:00 for work?

Yeah. And--

I don't understand you people.

Now here's something I understand.

But these aren't hot dogs,
they're chorizo.

And to find out what porteños
do with them,

I'm meeting expat food blogger Allie Lazar

for an introduction to the most famous
local sandwich called choripán.

Chori is chorizo, pan means bread.

So choripán is chorizo on bread.

And it's just probably
the quintessential Argentine street food.

They eat it at barbeques,
they'll have it at soccer games.

Usually it's made from pork,

and the only condiment they generally
put on it is chimichurri sauce.

Maybe sometime a little salsa criolla,

which is the onion, tomato
in a vinegar sauce.

And that's what it is.

- This is fast food.
- This is a little different.

This is one of the first places
that kind of wanted to give

a little bit more of an elevation
to the chorizo sandwich.

They make everything in-house, and they
want to kind of give it their own flair.

So this is the new Buenos Aires.

- Places like this.
- Exactly.

- Cool twist on the classic, right?
- Right.

By the way, what fast-food place
gives you gin and tonic?

What do we have here?

- Speaking of-- Wow.
- Wow.

This is a classic choripán.

Lettuce, tomato and some fried--

Fried onion! Mm.

That's a very unique flavor. Oh, my God.

Let's do the smoked one.
Mushrooms, crisp lettuce, smoked chorizo.

A lot of mayo.

They like things drippy.

Once an Argentine told me,
like, if it's not messy, it's not food.

- This is food.
- Right?

Now, I'm looking forward
to this wild boar.

- The boar?
- Go.

Mm.

Mm.

That's the best one.

That's very good.

Has a little spice.

Then there's a pickled onion,
pickled carrot...

It kind of refreshes everything.

- This is great.
- Yeah.

Wild boar.

- I'll try one of his sauces.
- Great.

Are you brave enough?

Oh.

It's like a time bomb.

Ooh. Oh.

Why am I stupid?

I put like five drops of nuclear holocaust
on my sandwich.

Richard, I want you to try something.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

One of my favorite things to do
is just walk around a new city,

get a little lost in it,
explore it, like any tourist.

Who knows?
Maybe you meet a new friend or two.

My wanderings bring me to La Recoleta,

considered one of the most beautiful
cemeteries in the world.

And I can't say I disagree.

This is a very nice neighborhood.

It's absolutely beautiful.

It's like a gorgeous park with
these amazing mausoleums above ground.

Recoleta is the final resting place of
some Argentinian presidents, dignitaries,

Nobel prize winners, and cultural icons,

including one you've probably heard of.

It's the tomb of Eva Perón,

beloved first lady of Argentina
who died in 1952.

You probably know her
from the musical Evita.

Don't worry, I'm not singing.

You almost don't realize
you're in a cemetery.

And you don't feel sad, really...

until you hear some of the stories.

You can see that lady
opening the door?

She was celebrating her 19th birthday,

she went to bed and she died.

So they buried her,

and the next day the coffin was opened

and they say it was scratched.

She was buried alive.

That's-- That's very uplifting.

But some of the stories are pretty funny.

This is Mr. Carril...

and he lived in the 1800s,

and he had a wife
that spent all his money.

He wrote a letter publicly that he wasn't
paying anymore debts on his wife.

She got very mad at that.

And so they didn't speak
for 20 or 30 years.

He died first and she said on their tomb,
she didn't want them facing each other.

So this is
a lovely testament to eternal hatred.

I do hope Monica
wants to face me when we're dead.

I don't usually see
eating as political

but this place, Perón Perón,

takes nostalgia
for their complicated former president

and turns it into a rowdy
communal experience.

Gonzalo Pagés is a chef,

and he loves Juan Perón who was
elected president in the late '40s,

early '50s, and again in the '70s.

I can't figure him out
as a figure in history,

because he seemed
to be liberal on one hand

and a dictator on the other hand.

Uh...

It's what they see from outside.

Argentina for a long time was

run by the oligarchy,
the military, and the Catholic Church.

Perón break with that.

He put first the workers.

Free medical, free education.

- Women vote.
- Women vote.

He gave vacation to the workers.

That is not what a dictator would do.

No. But I just tell you what I read.
Right?

That if anyone opposed him,
he would maybe put them in jail,

maybe was violent. Is that not right?

I bring some empanadas...

...to stop talking.

Have some wine.

This is wine from Salta.
Torrontés. Do you like wine?

I like how you changed the subject.

Hey.

That's okay.
I'd rather talk empanadas anyway.

Uh, you have to first shake it.

- Shake it.
- Really?

I never knew you shook them.

- Yes because it's very juicy.
- Yeah.

You have to move the juice along the--

We're moving the juice.

Juice. The juice.

In Hebrew school, that's all I did,
was look for Jewess.

Then bite and give it a long deep kiss.

Like your girlfriend. Like this.

My girlfriend?

Because it's full of juice, like a woman.

Juicy.

Spicy.

You know, I never had an empanada before.

- Never? The first empanada?
- Yeah, I love it.

This guy wasn't even a chef.

He was a psychologist,
he worked with anorexic people.

He's got a lot going on, this guy.

But he's now channeling it
into delicious comfort food.

- Yes.
- Wow.

This is a pacu,
the cousin of piranhas.

Did you read that in U.S.A.
there were some pacu

biting the balls off
the people in the river?

- Biting the balls off the people?
- The balls. The balls.

I know what you mean.

Yeah. The pacu have the same teeth--

As a piranha?

As a persona.

Oh, as a person!

Yes. It's very-- Yes.

- And they go for that part?
- Yes.

I'll go for this part instead.

Wow. This is a meaty...

- Do you like it?
- I do.

A very good fish.

A wonderful fish. I really love it.

I like the crispiness and it's tender.

Everybody loves salmon.

I was going to do that show.

But this is juicy.

Yeah! You like juicy.

- Yes. Do you want a dry meat?
- No!

- A juicy meat.
- Yes!

Whoa! Whoa! I'm impressed!

That's a magic trick. Wow.

How long was this roasting?

Ten...hours.

I believe
that food and love are together.

You're right.

Gonzalo and his food
have made me see the light.

You can't fight it.

It's too good.

I got an education.
Everything from Perón--

To a deep kiss to an empanada.

All roads lead to that.

All leads to the woman.

And wine. And friendship.

And enjoy the life.

Enjoy your life.

Enjoy your life!

Listen to him.

Yes. Do it. Now. Go.

Porteños love their markets,

and the San Telmo neighborhood
hosts a particularly impressive one

with food, crafts, and antiques

winding for miles
all through the historic streets.

Just a few days here,
and I already need a new belt.

Good thing I got
the extra large belt

because I'm going to pay a visit
to the godmother of new Argentine cuisine,

Narda Lepes.

She's been on TV for decades
and written cookbooks,

but this is her first restaurant,
Narda Comedor.

Narda's focus is a little different
from what you tend to find around town.

Argentineans are
very proud of their meat.

- Yeah.
- Very proud.

But we are
a vegetable-forward restaurant.

How do you call this? Chinese cabbage?

- You find that in Chinese chicken salad.
- Yeah. Yeah, that one.

Okay. A little bit of salt
between the leaves.

A little bit of olive oil.

We paint it with a sauce made
out of a lot of herbs and buffalo yogurt.

- Oh.
- Yes.

We take a lot of different leaves
and we cover it up...

- Very cool salad.
- ...like this...

with some almonds

- so you have a crunchy thing on it.
- Yeah.

- Soft boiled egg.
- Oh.

- We put this here.
- I like it.

Mm.

Creamy and crunchy and herby flavor.

- It's a happy dish.
- I'm very happy.

Mm.

Next she brings something that
doesn't really scream Argentina either.

In Latin America,
nobody will eat tofu like this...

- raw and white and cold.
- Yeah.

So I'll do it the way I like to eat it.

- First, ginger... juice.
- Ah.

Sesame oil. Spring onions. Fried garlic.

Oh, I love garlic.

Sesame. A lot of tempura crumbs.

This is called Tofu Trash.

- So it has to be trashy.
- Good.

This is sweet chili sauce.

- A little bit. And this is ponzu sauce.
- Yeah. Ah.

The crunch is everything, right?

Yeah.

Honestly never had a better tofu dish.

Narda's amazing.
I'm not missing meat at all.

Oh.

What?

But it had been missing me.

Look at that dish. Come on, people!

She's putting greens
on there. It looks like salad.

Put just a tiny bit of salt.

This salt comes from Patagonia.

Look how beautiful.
You don't even need a knife, do you?

You don't need one.
You can break it like this.

Mm.

You! Genius.

- Ready for the sweet?
- Yes.

- So you have like a big bowl of fruit.
- Yeah.

As a dessert.

- It's not fruit salad. I don't like them.
- Good. No.

Because they always put
like a bad apple in it.

It mushes together, all tastes the same.

- The banana is all ruined.
- Yeah.

- It piss me off a bit.
- I'm angry hearing it.

I don't...

...you, fruit salad.

Why don't we call it that?
...salad.

Salad, okay.

Oh, that's...delicious.

But the winner is her chocolate cake

filled with, yes, dulce de leche.

You have a little bit there.

This is my favorite restaurant now.

- Who made this?
- Carolina.

Very innovative, very creative.

Stephanie may have something
to do. You can hug her too.

I'm making a prediction
that Narda Comedor will be on

the top of the top of the list
of best restaurants in Argentina,

if not all of South America,
if not the world.

Goodbye!

Everyone was telling me that Jewish food
is very big in Buenos Aires

because there's an enormous
Jewish population here.

And I said, "Enough already! I'm--

How many Jewish places can we go?
We're finding them all over the world."

And it's not like I'm looking for them.
They find me.

I just don't want it to be so Jewish.
All the time Jewish.

What's the name of the place? Mishiguene.

They spell it differently down here,

but mishiguene is still
the Yiddish word for crazy.

To find out what's so crazy about it,

I'm here with my new friend Allie.

Welcome to Mishiguene.

- Chef Tomás!
- Hello.

- Very nice to have you here.
- I love meeting you. I've read all--

Tomás Kalika is from Buenos Aires,

but he spent time in Israel
and this is his passion.

Kind of modernized old Jewish food.

Why did you name the restaurant
Mishiguene?

A very good friend give us the name
because I had another restaurant

and it was really bad.

- You had a bad restaurant?
- Yes.

She knows that. She knows.

I wrote a bad review once on it.

And he still talks to you?
Because you agreed with her.

- So you are admitting you were terrible?
- Yes.

Only somebody
who's mishiguene would do that.

Exactly.

It's also mishiguene that he
starts me off with gefilte fish

and that it looks fantastic.

So this is the recipe
of my grandmother Olga.

- Go first.
- Okay.

And I'll see what happens to you.

It smells like gefilte fish.

Is that a good or bad thing?

In my house if you walked in
and said, "It smells like gefilte fish,"

you wouldn't wanna be there."

And you must eat it all.

You should try this.

Mm.

How do you describe gefilte fish
to someone who's not had it?

- Like a cow pie...
- Yeah.

- ...of mushed up fish.
- Yes.

But it takes some talent to make it nice.

Exactly.

What I didn't know before I came

was that Buenos Aires
has a huge Jewish population.

I had no idea.

One of the largest in Latin America.

Because here's what I heard,
and I bet you heard the same.

After World War II, who came here?

- The Nazis!
- Of course.

You ever spot one on the street?

I've suspected.

- Sometimes I play the Nazi game.
- You have? Really?

This guy a Nazi?
Is this guy not a Nazi?

- You really play that?
- I've played it.

That's so much fun!
I'm going to do it after dinner.

- You are Jewish?
- Who wants to know?

You know how to play this. No?

Oh.

A shofar.

Big. What are you compensating for?

Hey! Mazel tov!

David Schneider donates 50 dollars.

Very good.

I'm going to make that sound
after dinner too.

For this next dish, I don't need
a shofar, I need a choir of angels.

You know what this pastrami is?

Yes, chef.

This is grano de pecho.

It's under the neck of the cow.

- To serve this with a very special pasta.
- Yes.

My grandmother Olga used to make this.

Again Olga.

- Yes, of course. This is called farfalaj.
- Olga is a great cook.

We're going to serve you the pastrami
with spoons. Okay?

Wow.

What?

And now we're getting
totally mishiguene.

We serve two kinds of pastrami.

The other one very Argentinian
with a whole rib.

Look at that.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Two very different flavors.

- Enjoy.
- Thank you.

The neck pastrami.

Chef!

Melt in your mouth. Right?

And now I have to move to Buenos Aires.

After a meal
of his bubbe's recipes,

it's only fitting
that we end by toasting her.

Grandma Olga used to drink a lot of vodka.

- Wow!
- Ta-da!

One for you.

What a nice piece of Judaica this is.

- L'chaim.
- L'chaim.

L'chaim. L'chaim.
L'chaim. L'chaim.

L'chaim.

Today I'm going for tango lessons.

I think this is the most scared I've been.

Wow.

This beautiful lady Cecilia Piccinni

who's a professional dancer
and dance instructor...

- Hello.
- Hello.

And I'm going
to humiliate myself in front of her.

I'm nervous.

Tango is mostly about walking.

If you can walk, then you can dance.

See, that's the thing.

Just give me a hug.

- A hug? Yes. Okay.
- Yes. Okay.

- I apologize...
- You don't have to.

...for the debasement
of this beautiful art form in advance.

You can release your arms.

Oh, we're done? Okay.

Just keep your arms
as if you were hugging me.

From here, just try to walk.

I know to look at me you'd think,
"This guy can do anything."

Tango requires a certain masculinity...

a macho thing.

I'm ill-equipped.

How am I doing?

- You are great.
- This is not dancing.

This is not dancing yet.

- Music on please.
- Music?

Welcome to a special episode
of Dancing with Schlemiels.

Stop.

I need one thing.

No bouncing.

We are not walking... like this.

I do a little. Yeah. Okay.

- Music. Now one step backwards.
- Whenever I want?

Whenever you want.

- One step.
- Only one. Yeah.

- Got it.
- Forward, side, back.

Oh. Back to this
or do you go forward from here?

That's exactly up to you.

- You're gonna follow no matter what I do?
- That's the idea.

So if I sit down and have a coffee,
you're going to sit down?

Music. I want you to feel this.

All right.

- Left, right.
- Mm-hmm.

- Left, right.
- Mm-hmm.

I go...

Exactly.

- Wow.
- Wow?

- Now fancier stuff.
- Mm-hmm.

We will be moving our torso
in one direction,

and our lower body
in another direction for example.

Oh, boy.

Yeah.

You're always facing each other.
Always facing each other.

If you don't, then it's
as if I'm dancing with someone there

and you dance with someone there.

Don't dance with another--

- All right.
- All right.

I want to add one little thing.

All right. If you think you can handle it.

It's called ochos.

Together. Together.

- Yes.
- And around. See?

And how do we stop it?

Four--
You can have me all night doing ochos.

One...

Four, five.

Seven, eight. Good!

Good.

Three, four, five.

- Was that right?
- Yes!

- I'm not the worst?
- No, no, no, no.

- You're far away from the worst.
- Oh, that's going to be on my...

- Yes.
- Thank you.

- Oh, thank you.
- Very, very good.

Buenos Aires is a colorful city.

But the top-rated restaurant
in all of Argentina,

serving some of the most colorful
cutting-edge food,

hides on a quiet street
behind this nondescript door.

This is Tegui.

Chef owner Germán Martitegui

is famous for his creative dishes
of subtlety and surprise.

Germán is an intense guy,

so I brought his good friend
and my new friend Narda with me

to help lighten him up.

There's a secret about his food.

- Yeah.
- He loves fruit.

And in every dish, probably...

we're going to get some fruit
in some kind of way.

Here we are.
Okay, these are grilled oysters...

and green strawberries.

Not ripe strawberries.

They're very difficult to find.

When you ask for ripe strawberries,
they send you these.

And when you ask for
the green strawberries, they send you--

Ooh, what's happening?

Water from the oysters.

- Yes.
- We make a foam.

- Sea foam.
- You did it.

He throws it to you like that.

Oh!

- That's good.
- Wow! That's the ocean.

Anchovies.

These anchovies
are coming from my hometown.

And some kumquat.

I told you about the fruit,
which I love.

We made a broth
with peaches and cúrcuma.

Turmeric.

Isn't that beautiful?

When the anchovy touches your tongue...

- Salt.
- ...in the beginning,

it's strong and covers it all,

and then you bite and you get the creamy,
the fat, and the citrus and cleans it up.

She must be here daily.

She's good. She's much better
at describing than me.

I'm like, "Mm. That's good."

Once in Nice, he followed me around
with 13 types of chicharrón.

"Is this the best fat you ever had? No?

Or is it this one? Or this one?
Try it, try it."

Like a maniac for days.

Oh.

- What happened?
- Fruit-- What are you doing?

You know? I hate this
because if you're coming from Narda's,

what I serve is nothing.

What is this mean?

Maybe-- Yeah.

All right.

Watermelon, onions, radish.

Nice.

And then you have frog leg.

- Really?
- Have you ever had it?

- I love frog's legs.
- Okay.

This is an oregano oil frozen.

Ooh.

Oh, shh.

Mm.

This is very good.
I shouldn't be saying this, but...

Be proud.

Be proud of your radish drink.

Are you still hungry?

- Yeah, of course.
- Okay.

- "Are you still hungry?"
- We're sharing.

- We had little things like this.
- He's playing with us, I think.

Tortellini.

And this,
we have lemon-infused olive oil.

That's beautiful.

- Mm.
- Mm!

We have Julián,

he makes one thousand
of these tortellinis per day.

- One thousand?
- Yeah, by hand.

- One guy?
- Yeah.

I talked to that guy first,
and this guy stole him from me.

- Is that true?
- No. We met him together.

- I talked to him first.
- At the same exact time.

But I talked to him first.

- I love this.
- Who talked to you first?

Narda or me?

- Who you work with first?
- You're him?

Germán.

Liar.

- He's the one who makes 1,000?
- Yes.

Only one minute per tortellini.

So that's a thousand minutes.

- He doesn't see the light.
- The tortellini vampire.

- Wait. Where you going?
- Sorry.

He was going to take it away.

Why is the chef eating our food?
We got to tell him to back off.

He binges when he's nervous.

Maybe some dessert.

He's really crazy
with desserts, you know?

- Okay. Me too.
- Yeah.

Oh, that kind of crazy.

Checkmate.

But we all win with Germán's take
on the Argentinian classic.

Dulce de leche
dehydrated for two months.

And this is our seven cereals ice cream.

If it sticks to your palate,
you can't talk for--

You're going to take dulce de leche
out of your teeth for a week.

Nice. I like souvenirs.

The Argentinian love of beef
is legendary,

and so is the guy who takes care
of the beef, the gaucho.

Gauchos have been herding cattle

and wrangling wild horses here
for centuries.

Hungry work plus lots of cows equals

the best barbeque culture in the world
called the asado.

I'm lucky enough to catch
a glimpse of this mythic world

at Estancia El Ombú, a working ranch.

Even better, I'm going
to at least eat like a gaucho

at the estancia's restaurant.

Joining me today is Felicitas Pizarro.

She's a great chef and an expert on asado.

- It's very simple here.
- Yeah.

Meat and salt.

Cooked outside and over wood fire.

- The smoke, the wood--
- The wood flavors.

Delicious.

Everyone told me, "All your meat
is going to be overcooked here."

But it's not true.
Perfectly done, medium rare.

This is perfect.

But usually Argentinians
prefer the meat well-done.

- Why?
- I don't know.

I prefer it medium rare.

Beautiful. It's worth coming here
just for lunch.

- Look where we are. It's--
- And a wonderful day.

It really does remind me of
the Old South in America or the Old West.

- Cowboys.
- Cowboys.

- But they dress better than ours.
- Mm.

They all carry the knife.

Every gaucho
has its own knife.

For tradition
or because they really use it?

No, they really use it for everything.

And when they eat,
they have their own knife.

If you invite a gaucho

to your house and you make a barbeque,
they'd probably take their own knife.

- Never invited a gaucho to your house?
- Mm-hmm.

Yes? They brought their own knife?

Uh-huh. Yes.

After lunch, they set up
for a classic gaucho dance called a gato

featuring stupido.

What am I doing?

Watch him.

Once again a two year old
is better than me.

God, I don't want to step on him.

Yeah? I'm doing it?

Yay.

I've gotten a nice peek
into the daily life of a gaucho...

but apparently they don't think
a peek is enough.

And here's
the last known footage of me alive.

What if my wife sees this and likes it?

Then she'll want me
to wear this around the house.

This is really, for me,
the road not taken.

And suddenly I'm feeling like maybe...

maybe I could be a cowboy.

Oh. Ow.

I agree.

Stay together cows! Stay together!

What the hell? Who am I?

Where you going?

Go with them.

That's right.

That's right.

I am a cowboy. Come on.

I was rightfully terrified,
but if I can do this...

Is it dinner time?

More than half the population
in Buenos Aires is of Italian descent.

Ah, ragazzi...

Donato Di Santis
is from Puglia, Italy,

and he opened a beautiful store
and restaurant called Cucina Paradiso.

- Oh! Crazy man!
- Phil! How are you, huh?

- Nice to see you.
- How you doing?

Welcome to Cucina.

Donato wants
to introduce me to Italian Bueno Aires

by taking me on a little tasting tour.

This is my kind of place.
I like it already.

Buenos Aires has, as you know,
a very strong Italian heritage,

- but strangely enough...
- Yeah?

...very few do authentic Italian food.

But you are 100 percent?

I try to be as much as orthodox as I can.

- Ah.
- Ah.

Here we go. Buono.

- Enjoy.
- Wow.

This pasta is called
agnolotti con el plin.

Plin is like-- See there's a little pinch?

That's the plin.

- Plin.
- Plin.

Plin.

This is typical from Puglia.
Inside there, you have braised lamb.

Let's switch.

Okay, this is orecchiette made by hand
with cavatelli.

We call it maritata.

Marriage of two pastas.

Good, yeah.

We should eat more pastas like this
that have a sauce like this with a spoon

because you get more sauce.

You're right. I never tried it.

Mm! This is so good!

- You're right. Tastes better with a spoon.
- You get more sauce!

I've been hearing
that this is a huge pizza town.

- Yes.
- I'm a pizza freak.

Everywhere.

And I want you to taste
a bizarre interpretation

of the pizza here in Buenos Aires.

- I can't wait.
- Shall we go?

- Can I have one more?
- I'm amazed you don't gain any weight.

- Avanti.
- Avanti.

So, I'm going to drive like an Italian.

And I'm going to scream
like an old Jewish woman.

So now I'm going
on the vespa with Donato.

It's not like riding a vespa
in Saigon or Bangkok.

There's not a lot of vespa guys
going around, so you're with the cars

and I'm hanging on for dear life.

But he's taking me to pizza.

Hello!

So I kind of will do anything
to get to pizza.

Here's a place that's like 80 years old.

It's called La Mezzetta.

¿Maestro, puede manchar
una fugazza y fugazzetta por favor?

That's-- Right away you're seeing a knife
that you don't see with pizza usually.

- Yeah.
- Right?

- Look at that cheese. No tomato sauce.
- This one is for you.

No, this is only cheese,
extra cheese, and onions.

Cheese and cheese.

Look at this pizza. It's crazy.
What's it called?

Fugazzetta.

The fugazzetta.

Forget about it.

There's so much cheese on this pizza.

Look.

You pick it up and it does this.

What? Ridiculous.

There are these wooden blocks
where it's holding the cheese in,

which is great as they're cutting it.

But you don't get a wooden block
when they give you the slice of pizza.

- Mm.
- Good?

That's really good cheese
and onion and oregano. Right?

Beautiful crust.

This is crazy.

This is like a, you know...

- You can put it over your shoulder.
- Like a cheese scarf.

It's like waterfalls of cheese
coming off this pizza.

I'm covered in it and I need a napkin.

There.

Is this a napkin? This is a napkin.

Hey, I can't tell you how much I love
this pizza and hated this napkin.

Ridiculous.

The best pizza. Who do I have to talk to?

It's the worst napkin
I've ever had in my life.

Can you see this? What is this for?

He says it's the best
because it absorbs.

Absorb?

Absorbs the fat.

Yeah?

Yeah, but that, I mean...

It barely makes a dent, my friend.

I'm an American.
We're used to super absorbency.

I may never go back because of the napkin.

Donato has taken me to great pizza,
his great Italian restaurant.

What can I do for Donato?

One of the great things I get to do

is take him to a place
that I discovered in his town.

Nola. We found this on our night off.

Yes, Nola: New Orleans, Louisiana.

This is New Orleans food.

This is red beans and rice.
This is gumbo. Yeah?

I had this unbelievable fried chicken.

Like some of the best fried chicken
I've ever had in my life!

They make this fried chicken in
tiny batches in little french fry baskets.

They fry them. It takes a few minutes
for you to get a couple of pieces,

but is it worth it? Yes!

Oh, by hand.
All right. Good.

Right?

- Juicy. Crispy. Spicy. Flavorful.
- Fried chicken. Yes.

Everything all together.

- I knew I liked you.
- Yeah.

Honest. This is happiness.

Yes, it's fried happiness.

- Liza!
- This is awesome!

- Come meet me because I love you...
- Awesome.

...and I don't even know you.

- The lady of the house.
- It's that Southern hospitality.

- Thank you. You're wonderful.
- De nada.

- Liza, right? Okay.
- Liza.

It's really good.

Yeah, you have a little sweat
under your eyes I think.

- That's a good sign.
- That means it's good.

Liza's from New Orleans. She came
to turn porteños onto her food. It worked.

- Now we get to try...
- Yeah?

...Liza's napkins.

They're better than your fakakta napkins
at the other place.

Wax paper napkins?

Like a sheet of notebook paper.
What are you supposed to do with this?

Next step. This already--

- Oh, my God!
- Oh!

- Look!
- I didn't have enough cheese today.

Inspired by chicken parm.

I have something to tell you both that you
probably don't know about each other.

Where in Italy are you from?

- Puglia.
- Yeah. What's your last name?

- Puglia.
- You're kidding!

Yeah!

Ding, ding, ding, ding.

My great-grandparents came
to New Orleans from Puglia.

So, Phil. When you eat
something this good in Buenos Aires,

you turn to the cook and you say,
"H de p."

- H de p.
- H de p.

- H de p.
- H de p.

- A little abbreviation.
- Did I just curse?

Basically.

A compliment.

Hache for hijo-- Son...
And then you can just guess the rest.

Oh! That's not so bad.

- Generally you do this when you say it.
- I do it. H de p.

H de p.

H de p.

- Ah.
- Wow.

You might need
a bigger scooter.

Okay, now it's time to go all in
on that food Argentina's world famous for.

Sorry to make you wait so long,
but I'm pretty sure it's worth it

because in a city of great steak,

this is one of the best,
I'm going to say, in world!

Best in world!

Don Julio Parrilla.

Just two days earlier,

Don Julio was honored as
the best steakhouse in Argentina

and the number two restaurant
of any kind in the country.

With news like that you got to celebrate.

Hola.

- For me?
- Yes.

- Oh! Thank you!
- You're welcome.

- Hola!
- Hola!

Ah!

Today's special guests at Don Julio
are Julián from Los Galgos...

Cheers.

...and two of our fixers
here in Buenos Aires,

Carola and Sol.

This looks like a temple of meat.

- Yeah. It is.
- Yes.

They are
crazy people about the meat.

That's the kind of crazy I like.

They start us off
with an Argentinian favorite.

This is sweetbreads, mollejas.

For me, that-- Those are
the best sweetbreads...

- In the planet.
- ...in the planet.

In the planet. Just what I want.

Wow.

- Oh, take one.
- No, no, no. I--

I got to pace myself. I know what

is happening.

Not sweet and not bread,
but very delicious.

And just enough to get me ready
for the main event.

A parade of grass-fed,
wet-aged Argentinian beef.

Attention, please.

- Attention, please. Oh! T-bone!
- The house special.

- Is that called a skirt steak?
- Yeah.

Look at the steak!

I'm surrounded.

- What's that?
- A ribeye.

Look how beautiful that is.

It's perfectly cooked.

Or as they say here...

- Jugoso.
- Jugoso.

Jugo is juice basically.

We like it juicy.

Oh.

I'm so happy now, Phil.

I'm so happy now.

I was thinking "I can't eat
any more meat this week. This is crazy."

And now? Hoo, hoo, hoo.

Look how it cuts.

- I love this place.
- Mm.

I really love this place.

I'm telling you, there's
more flavor in this little skirt steak

than in 25 porterhouses
that I've had in my life.

I can die now.

We say muy bueno.

You put the moo in it.

Moo.

This is right at the top. I'm telling you.

This is
what people are talking about

when they say, "This is
some of the best steak in the world."

I don't know. It's maybe
what the cows are eating here,

but the meat is
so tender and so flavorful.

Need some more steak.

- Oh! Hello!
- Hi.

Move over.

I'm trying. I can't just... Okay.

- Are you good? Dad, come in the picture.
- Yeah.

How are you?

I'm very nice.

I loved to see you dancing the tango.

That was my favorite.

That was the most frightening thing
I've done on the show so far.

You looked terrific.

Yep, but you danced a little bit klutzy.

No, he didn't!

No, he didn't.

Stick to what you do best. Your gab--

Gift for gab.

Forget the dancing.

No, don't forget it.

I think you did very well.
I don't agree with him.

Okay. Because she's not a good dancer.

- Anyway--
- Anyway, are you having a good time?

Not anymore!

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

How could my dancing
have been a little better, Dad?

You were a little stiff.

Yeah. I never did this before.

I don't believe you.

It's amazing she got out
with all her toes to be honest.

So tell me about Buenos Aires.

Look at this. You order a steak sandwich,
and this is what you get.

Oh, my God.

I see the steak--

But that's a big piece of steak.

These are some sweet and hot peppers.

Mm.

Wow.

You would like this.

I know I would like it.
I'm getting very hungry.

Say hello to Richard and everybody else.

Hi, everybody, from my parents.

Dad, you'll give me a dance lesson
when I come.

Okay.

- Goodbye!
- Bye!

Look at this.

Mm.

It's my last day
in this incredible city,

and there's one last thing before I go.

Julián is having a barbeque at his house.

A real Argentinian asado.

- I see all the greatest hits.
- Chinchulines.

And the greatest hits of my trip
are here too.

Many of the friends I've met,
like Gonzalo, Rodolfo, Donato, Allie.

Hello, Allie.

And even my tango teacher, Cecilia.

I'm excited to see them
one more time and say goodbye.

Not goodbye, farewell,
because I want to come back.

- Do you tango?
- No.

- Never?
- No.

I know someone who gives lessons.

- Your next agent.
- Yes.

- I make an ad for you.
- Great! Let's do it!

Look, he touch her again and she's like,
"Oh, really?" How could you do that?

We do this one.

Oh!

Chinchulines y riñones.

- Chinchulines.
- Chinchulines. Yes!

It's stomach...

Don't tell me.

Look at that.

You don't do a lot of chicken.

Chicken is not meat.

You know?

I love how it's coming
like in courses.

It's how it works.

It's never all at the same time.

A true asado day for example starts
at 12 pm and finishes at 2 am.

Twelve hours for asados.

It's about drinking.
It's about talking and chatting.

You start with asado,
and then you start another asado.

And you continue.

I can speak as a foreigner,
this is wonderful. But sometimes--

- Be careful.
- No, no. No.

- Takes too long to get to the good meat.
- No, never.

Never an asado take too long. Never.

- No, it takes--
- You are not from Argentina

because you believe that.

You are from Italy!
An asado never take too long.

Sorry, guys.
I need to interrupt you.

Oh!

Now we're talking!

Jugoso.

Here. A lot of chimichurri.

I have a little present for Phil.

A million dollar, baby.

These are the napkins from La Mezzetta.

That's even worse.

I want everyone to have one.

Oh, did you get
a little schmootz on yourself?

You need a napkin. Here's your napkin.

- Thank you!
- Try it.

This is your napkin.

Oh, you.

Oh, I know about these.

She wrote a whole poem
about these napkins.

All right.

I treasure this.
I'm bringing this home--

I give you a lot.
Give it to everyone in the U.S.

Cheers.

Buenos Aires sounds
so mysterious and exotic.

But then here you are with people who you
instantly recognize as kindred spirits.

Warm, generous, and so funny.

Fuerte.

People from the other side of the world
who get you right away.

And the bottom of the world
is now right side up.

Salud.

And that makes you feel like
you can do anything.

# Come sit at his table #

# If you're happy, hungry
Willing, and able #

# See how breaking bread #

# Can turn a stranger
Right into a friend #

# He will drive to you
He will fly to you #

# He will sing for you
And he'll dance for you #

# He laugh will laugh with
And he'll cry for you #

# There's just one thing
He asks in return #

# Somebody please, somebody please #

# Somebody, somebody feed Phil #

# Oh, please somebody
Somebody feed Phil #

# Somebody feed him now #