Soap (1977–1981): Season 1, Episode 23 - Episode #1.23 - full transcript
Eunice is cruelly dumped when the wife of her Congressman makes an offer he can't refuse. Burt is missing and the Campbells flock to the cuckoo's nest, where they are mistaken for inmates. Burt tells Mary he killed Johnny Dallas because he cannot live on the subway. Corinne learns Ingrid is screwing with the legal system. Father Timothy finds his mother is unsympathetic about his problem. The Tates puzzle over the identity of the surprise witness. On the stand, Jessica cannot understand why the lawyers keep asking the same questions, over and over. Prosecutor Franklin calls his surprise witness, Mrs. Fine, who can place Jessica in Peter's bathroom on the day of his murder.
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IN LAST WEEK'S
EPISODE OF SOAP,
BURT CHECKED INTO
THE MENTAL INSTITUTION
TO TRY AND CURE
HIS INVISIBILITY,
WHILE CAROL HAS LURED
JODIE AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND
TO TRY TO PUT AN END
TO HIS HOMOSEXUALITY.
MEANWHILE, PROSECUTOR FRANKLIN
HAS PROMISED JUDGE PETRILLO
A SURPRISE WITNESS
WHO WILL PUT
AN END TO JESSICA.
CONFUSED?
YOU WON'T BE AFTER
THIS WEEK'S EPISODE OF...
THIS IS THE STORY
OF 2 SISTERS.
JESSICA TATE
AND MARY CAMPBELL.
THESE ARE THE TATES.
AND THESE ARE THE CAMPBELLS.
AND THIS IS...
YOU SON OF A...
GO!
BOYS. BOYS.
OH.
WAITING FOR WALTER?
MRS. McCALLUM.
HE'S RUNNING
A LITTLE LATE.
AND I JUST COULDN'T BEAR
THE THOUGHT OF YOU
SITTING HERE ALL ALONE,
SO I CAME
TO KEEP YOU COMPANY.
WELL... WELL, I'M NOT
WAITING FOR WALTER.
SAVE IT.
WAITER, A MARTINI.
I WANT YOU TO STOP
SEEING HIM.
UH, THE WAITER?
NO.
WALTER.
OH, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU AND MY HUSBAND.
THE STANDISH HOTEL
IN BOSTON,
THE RITZ HOTEL
IN HARTFORD,
THE PLAZA HOTEL
IN NEW YORK,
THE TRAFALGAR HOTEL
IN NEW HAVEN.
NOT NEW HAVEN.
WE WERE NEVER IN...
N-N-NEVER IN NEW HAVEN.
ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT WE'VE
GOTTEN THAT OUT OF THE WAY,
I WANT YOU TO STOP
SEEING HIM.
NO, I WON'T.
WE LOVE EACH OTHER.
OH, PLEASE. LOVE?
WALTER DOESN'T LOVE ANYONE.
WALTER IS THE MOST TOTALLY
SELF-ABSORBED PERSON
IN THE WORLD.
WE HAVE A 7-YEAR-OLD
DAUGHTER ABIGAIL,
WALTER CALLS HER AMANDA.
7 YEARS AND HE STILL
DOESN'T KNOW HER NAME.
THANK YOU.
SO, DO YOU BOW
OUT GRACEFULLY,
OR DO I TELL WALTER
TO DUMP YOU?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
WALTER WOULD
NEVER DUMP ME.
GUESS YOU SPOTTED ME.
WE WERE JUST TALKING
ABOUT YOU.
SMALL WORLD.
IMAGINE THE 3 OF US
RUNNING INTO EACH OTHER
IN THE SAME RESTAURANT.
DON'T BOTHER, WALTER.
BOTHER? IT'S NO BOTHER.
IT'S NO BOTHER AT ALL.
SHE KNOWS, DARLING.
SHE KNOWS?
AH!
YES.
AND I WAS JUST
TELLING EUNICE
THAT IF YOU HAD
TO MAKE A CHOICE
BETWEEN THE TWO OF US,
I KNOW YOU'D CHOOSE ME.
YOU SEE, I TOOK OUT
A SMALL INSURANCE POLICY,
A DETECTIVE,
WHO AMONG OTHER THINGS
DISCOVERED THAT YOU'RE BEING
BLACKMAILED.
I PAID THE BLACKMAILER
AND BOUGHT THE MOST
INTERESTING SET OF PICTURES.
BY THE WAY, DARLING,
YOU DON'T PHOTOGRAPH WELL.
NOW, SHOULD YOU
EVER SEE HER AGAIN,
I WILL GIVE THOSE NEGATIVES
TO THE PRESS.
YOU'D DO THAT?
I MEAN, YOU'D RUIN
MY CAREER?
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU DON'T NEED A CAREER,
DARLING. I'LL SUPPORT US.
YOU'D SEE TO IT THAT
I'D NEVER HELD
ANY OFFICE AGAIN?
CORRECT.
WE COULD GO AWAY.
NO MONEY, NO JOB,
NO NOTHING?
UH-HUH.
WE'D HAVE EACH OTHER.
EUNICE?
YES?
SEE YA.
MOM...
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I SENT HIM HERE.
HE DIDN'T WANT TO COME.
MA, COME ON.
HE HAD TO COME.
NO. NO, HE DIDN'T.
AND NOW LOOK
WHAT'S HAPPENED.
HE'S RUN AWAY
AND GOD KNOWS WHERE HE IS.
MUST HAVE GONE
TO SLEEP.
I KNOW LUNATICS
JUST COME AND GO
AS THEY PLEASE AROUND HERE.
BE QUIET.
MA, I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
BURT'S MISSING.
THEY CHECKED, UH,
ALL THE ROOMS AT BEDTIME
AND HE WASN'T THERE.
HE NEVER WAS, IF YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
MOM, MOM.
HOW LONG HAS
HE BEEN GONE?
HOURS. IT'S ALL
MY FAULT.
I FEEL SO AWFUL.
MY GOD, WHAT IF
HE NEVER COMES HOME?
VENTURE ON ME.
STOP IT.
STOP IT.
BOYS,
STOP IT!
BOYS, BOYS, BOYS.
LIGHTS WERE OUT
OVER AN HOUR AGO.
BACK TO YOUR ROOMS.
WE'RE JUST VISITING.
YOU'RE VISITING?
2 MEN ATTACK
A WOODEN DOLL
WHILE THE 3RD SCREAMS?
NICE TRY.
LISTEN, YOU
DON'T UNDERSTAND.
BOB HERE WAS SAYING
SOME REALLY NASTY THINGS.
OH, YEAH?
YEAH.
DANNY, DANNY,
NOT HERE.
OH, I SEE.
THE DOLL SAID
SOMETHING NASTY,
SO YOU WANTED
TO KILL IT.
THEY'RE VISITORS, DOCTOR.
WHO ARE YOU?
THEIR MOTHER.
I'M SORRY.
WE HAVE
VISITOR'S PASSES.
VISITING HOURS ARE OVER.
YOU'LL HAVE TO LEAVE.
YOU SEE, WE'RE WAITING
FOR MY HUSBAND. HE RAN AWAY.
I DON'T BLAME HIM.
KEEP THE NOISE DOWN.
AND TRY AND SET AN EXAMPLE
FOR THE PATIENTS.
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S OK, DAN.
HEY, MAR',
HOW'RE YOU DOIN'?
WHERE WERE YOU?
WE WERE SO WORRIED.
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
YEAH, ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT?
I'M FINE. I'M OK.
UH, YOU BOYS WAIT
DOWNSTAIRS FOR ME.
AND NO MORE
FIGHTING.
OK.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
WHAT HAPPENED?
I RAN AWAY.
BURT, IS IT
SO AWFUL HERE?
DO YOU HATE IT
THAT MUCH?
NO, NO, NO, NO, MARY.
IT'S NOT THIS,
IT'S NOT AWFUL AT ALL.
IT'S... IT'S VERY NICE HERE
AND I'M GETTING BETTER.
I REALLY AM. I'M GETTING...
I'M GETTING BETTER.
THEN WHAT IS IT?
YOU SEE, MARY,
WE TALK A LOT HERE
AND WE TELL OUR SECRETS,
YOU KNOW.
AND AT FIRST I THOUGHT,
"HEY, FORGET ABOUT IT."
I MEAN, NOBODY'S GONNA
HEAR MY SECRETS
BECAUSE I'VE GOT SOME
VERY WEIRD SECRETS.
THAT WAS UNTIL
I HEARD THEIR SECRETS.
WORSE.
THEY'RE MOSTLY THE SAME.
SEE, WE ALL HAVE
THE SAME SECRETS.
I... I MEAN THEY COME OUT
A LITTLE DIFFERENT
AND, UH,
I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE THERE ARE
ONE OR 2 HERE
WHO FRANKLY ARE
A LITTLE MORE CREATIVE
IN THE WAY THEY LOOK
AT THE WORLD,
LIKE CHICKEN MAN,
FOR INSTANCE,
BUT, ESSENTIALLY,
THE SAME...
CHICKEN MAN?
YEAH. WHEN THINGS
GET ROUGH...
HE BECOMES A CHICKEN.
OH.
WHEN THINGS GET
TOO ROUGH WITH ME, I...
THEN DISAPPEAR AND...
YOU KNOW,
HAROLD WEARS HATS,
SOME PEOPLE, UH,
DRINK A LOT.
OTHERS SLEEP,
AND YOU KNOW, AND...
SEE, I MEAN, WE... WE ALL
HAVE OUR OWN WAYS OF...
OF STEPPING BACK
WHEN THINGS GET TOO ROUGH.
IN THAT WAY, MAR',
WE'RE ALL THE SAME.
I EAT.
YEAH.
SEE, BUT THEN I REALIZED
THAT I HAD ONE SECRET
THAT NOBODY ELSE HAD,
AND UNLESS I TOLD THEM
THE SECRET,
I COULDN'T REALLY
GET BETTER.
AND UNLESS I TOLD YOU
THE SECRET,
I COULDN'T COME HOME.
SEE, BECAUSE MARY
I CAN'T LIVE WITH YOU
AND LOVE YOU AND...
AND KEEP THE SECRET
FROM YOU.
SO TELL ME, DARLING.
TELL ME THE SECRET.
I CAN'T, MARY.
THAT'S WHY I RAN AWAY,
BECAUSE I REALIZED
I CAN'T TELL YOU THE SECRET,
SO I CAN'T GO HOME.
THEN I THOUGHT,
"I CAN'T TELL THE SECRET HERE,
SO I CAN'T STAY HERE,"
SO I RAN AWAY AND I...
I ROAMED AROUND THE CITY
ALL NIGHT TAKIN' THE SUBWAY.
ON THE SUBWAY,
I COULD HAVE TOLD MY SECRET,
NOBODY WOULD HAVE CARED.
BUT YOU CAME BACK HERE.
MARY, I CAN'T LIVE
ON THE SUBWAY.
OH.
SO I FIGURE I CAN'T TELL
THE SECRET HERE,
EXCEPT OF COURSE
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE HERE.
MARY, I GOT NO PLACE
TO GO.
SO, DARLING, TELL ME
THE SECRET AND COME HOME.
I CAN'T. I GOTTA GO.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOIN',
BUT I GOTTA GO.
BURT, I LOVE YOU.
YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING IN MY LIFE TO ME.
SO THERE IS NOTHING,
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,
THAT YOU COULD TELL ME
THAT WOULD CHANGE
THE WAY I FEEL.
GO ON.
I KI...
I MURD...
I KI...
OH, I CAN'T.
BURT, SWEETHEART,
THIS DOESN'T HAVE
TO BE SO DIFFICULT.
NO MATTER
WHAT YOU SAY,
NO MATTER WHAT
YOU HAVE DONE,
I WILL LOVE YOU.
THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.
GO ON NOW.
I KILLED
YOUR FIRST HUSBAND.
I KILLED
YOUR FIRST HUSBAND.
OH, MY GOD.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
BOY, OH, BOY,
I WISH MY CARDIOLOGIST
COULD HAVE SEEN ME.
I DIDN'T MEAN
TO RUSH YOU,
BUT MY DAUGHTER
IS COMING HOME.
YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T
THINK I COULD.
I DIDN'T THINK
I REMEMBERED.
YOU DIDN'T
REMEMBER MUCH.
I HOPE YOU HAD
A NICE EVENING, INGRID.
HOW CAN YOU
EVEN ASK, ANTHONY?
WHY, YOU ARE PROBABLY
THE MOST INTELLIGENT,
FASCINATING
AND GENTLE MAN
I'VE MET SINCE...
INGMAR BERGMAN.
AH!
BYE-BYE, TONY.
WAS THAT THE JUDGE?
WHAT, DEAR?
JUDGE PETRILLO.
THAT WAS JUDGE PETRILLO.
LOOKS LIKE THE JUDGE,
DOESN'T HE?
YOU'RE TRYING TO FIX
THE TRIAL, AREN'T YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
YOU'RE DATING HIM SO THAT
YOU CAN CONVINCE HIM
TO HANG MY MOTHER.
I'M YOUR MOTHER.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
WELL, IT JUST
SO HAPPENS
THAT I AM ENORMOUSLY
ATTRACTED TO HIM.
WHEN I SAW HIM
UP THERE IN THE COURT,
I JUST COULDN'T TAKE
MY EYES OFF HIM.
BULL.
WHAT... WHAT DOES IT MEAN,
THIS "BULL"?
IT MEANS YOU'RE LYING.
YOU'RE TRYING
TO FIX THE TRIAL.
HOW CAN YOU
DO THAT TO HER?
BECAUSE I HATE HER.
SHE'S NEVER DONE
ANYTHING TO YOU.
SHE TOOK YOU AWAY
FROM ME.
THAT WASN'T HER.
THAT WAS MY GRANDMOTHER.
AND THEN I WAS SENT OFF
TO ECUADOR, OF ALL PLACES,
WHEN SHE KNEW,
COMING FROM SWEDEN,
HOW THE HEAT
WOULD AFFECT ME.
YOU SAID YOU CAME HERE
FOR ME
AND... AND NOW YOU'VE GOT ME,
SO WHY CAN'T YOU
LEAVE THEM ALONE?
BECAUSE IT'S NOT ENOUGH.
I WANT TO SEE
THEM ALL SUFFER.
ACTUALLY, I'D LIKE
TO SEE THEM ALL DROP DEAD.
BUT, UH, I'LL SETTLE
FOR SUFFERING.
OH, I HATE THEM.
WELL, I'M ONE OF THEM.
OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT.
YES, I AM.
AND YOU HATE THEM
MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME.
THINK ABOUT IT.
MA?
COMING, TIM.
OH.
MA.
HOW ARE YOU, MA?
GOOD. GOOD.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
COME ON IN.
OH, I COOKED YOU EVERYTHING
THAT YOU LOVE.
LASAGNA?
OH, LASAGNA
IS JUST THE BEGINNING.
I NEED TO TALK
TO YOU, MA.
YEAH, SURE.
I'VE GOT A PROBLEM.
OH, I LOVE IT.
PEOPLE COME TO PRIESTS
WITH THEIR PROBLEMS.
AND LOOK, A PRIEST
COMES TO HIS MOTHER.
WELL, I THOUGHT
I OUGHT TO LET YOU KNOW
WHAT WAS GOING ON.
YEAH, SURE.
BUT...
OF COURSE,
TELL YOUR MOTHER.
THERE'S A GIRL.
WHERE?
NO, MA.
THERE'S A GIRL,
AND... AND I KEEP THINKING
ABOUT HER.
OOFA!
I CAN'T GET HER
OUT OF MY MIND.
IT'S A TEST.
HE'S GIVING YOU A TEST.
DON'T YOU KNOW A TEST
WHEN YOU SEE ONE?
NO, MA. IT'S NOT A TEST.
I'M THINKING ABOUT
LEAVING THE PRIESTHOOD.
YOU KNOW,
I FINALLY SAW THAT
STAR WARS FILM
THEY WERE ALL RAVING ABOUT.
I DON'T KNOW,
IN MY DAY,
THEY HAD A LEADING MAN,
IT WAS CLARK GABLE.
TODAY THEY GOT
A LITTLE MACHINE
THAT GOES "POOP!"
MA, MA, DID... DID YOU
HEAR WHAT I SAID?
I MEAN, FRANKLY,
I COULD HAVE STAYED HOME
AND LOOKED AT
MY UPRIGHT VACUUM CLEANER.
DID YOU HEAR ME?
I'M SORRY. I'M GETTING
A LITTLE OLD.
I DON'T HEAR SO GOOD.
I SAID I WAS THINKING
ABOUT LEAVING...
I MEAN, NOT ONLY
IS MY HEARING BAD,
BUT MY HEART
IS VERY WEAK.
I MEAN, THE SLIGHTEST SHOCK,
AND IT COULD KILL ME.
OTHERWISE I'M FINE.
I SAID I WAS THINKING
ABOUT LEAVING THE...
I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID.
YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT
LEAVING THE PRIESTHOOD.
YES.
OK.
FINE.
MA.
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
I THINK I'M IN LOVE.
FINE.
I'D LIKE THE COFFIN
CLOSED, PLEASE.
PLEASE, MA.
I CAME HERE BECAUSE
I NEED SOME HELP,
SOME UNDERSTANDING.
SORRY.
ALL I CAN GIVE
YOU IS LASAGNA.
SOMETIMES PRIESTS ARE WRONG
ABOUT THEIR CALLING.
I DIDN'T BREAK MY VOWS.
MY SUPERIORS UNDERSTAND.
AND GOD'LL FORGIVE ME.
FINE.
IF HE WANTS
TO FORGIVE YOU, LET HIM.
I WON'T.
MRS. TATE, THINK.
THINK. WHO MIGHT
THE SURPRISE WITNESS BE?
OH, MR. MALLU.
IF I THOUGHT OF IT,
IT WOULD RUIN
MR. FRANKLIN'S SURPRISE.
BENSON, EVERY MORNING
IT'S THE SAME THING.
I ASK FOR POACHED EGGS,
I GET SCRAMBLED.
I ASK FOR SHIRRED EGGS,
I GET SCRAMBLED.
I ASK FOR SUNNYSIDE UP,
I GET SCRAMBLED.
I NEVER GET WHAT I WANT.
WHY DON'T YOU ASK
FOR SCRAMBLED?
BENSON, I WILL
NOT EAT THESE EGGS.
UH, BENSON?
HMM?
WOULD YOU FIX SOME EGGS
FOR MR. MALLU, PLEASE?
CERTAINLY.
HOW DO YOU LIKE 'EM?
POACHED.
ALL RIGHT, BENSON,
I'LL HAVE SCRAMBLED.
MRS. TATE, THINK.
WHO WOULD SAY
SOMETHING BAD ABOUT YOU?
BESSIE STEVENS.
YOU SEE, IN THE 7TH GRADE,
BESSIE STEVENS HAD BRAIDS
DOWN TO HER WAIST,
AND I CUT THEM OFF
TO USE THEM TO BE POCAHONTAS.
NO, NO, MRS. TATE.
IT IS NOT BESSIE STEVENS.
THEN IT'S ROBERT CORWIN.
ROBERT CORWIN.
IN THE 10TH GRADE,
ROBERT CORWIN...
SHE THINKS WE'RE PLAYING
THIS IS YOUR LIFE.
MRS. TATE, WHO ARE
YOUR ENEMIES NOW?
ENEMIES? ENEMIES, SIR?
HOW ABOUT HITLER
AND MUSSOLINI FOR STARTERS?
GOOD MORNING,
DADDY.
HIYA.
EGGS, MAJOR?
YUP.
BENSON!
WHAT ABOUT ME?
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
DO I HAVE TO MAKE
THEM MYSELF?
MOTHER, I'M NOT
FEELING TOO WELL.
I'VE GOT A SORE THROAT.
OH, DEAR.
I'M AFRAID YOU'LL HAVE TO
CANCEL COURT THIS MORNING.
I HAVE TO TAKE BILLY
TO THE PEDIATRICIAN.
MRS. TATE,
YOU CAN'T CANCEL COURT.
MOM, I DON'T WANT
TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.
YOU HAVE TO GO
TO THE DOCTOR.
YOU HAVE A COLD.
YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM
TO THE DOCTOR.
YOU HAVE TO GO TO COURT.
I'LL TAKE HIM.
THE BOY'S SICK.
AND NOW, MRS. TATE, BEFORE
YOU COMPLETE YOUR TESTIMONY,
TELL ME, DID YOU OR DID YOU
NOT KILL PETER CAMPBELL?
DO YOU KNOW YOU HAVE ASKED ME
THAT QUESTION 6 TIMES?
YES.
BUT THIS TIME I WANT
THE JURY TO HEAR.
DID YOU OR DID YOU
NOT KILL PETER CAMPBELL?
7.
HE HAS ASKED ME
THAT QUESTION 7 TIMES.
DO YOU WONDER HOW THIS MAN
EVER GOT OUT OF LAW SCHOOL?
NO.
NO, WHAT?
NO, I DIDN'T KILL
PETER CAMPBELL.
THANK YOU, MRS. TATE.
AND NOW, IN YOUR LIFETIME,
HAVE YOU EVER KILLED ANYTHING?
NO. NEVER.
UNLESS YOU WANT
TO COUNT THE TIMES
THAT I ACCIDENTALLY
STEPPED ON ANTS.
I OBJECT.
MR. FRANKLIN, YOU CANNOT
HELP STEPPING ON THEM.
THEY'RE SO TINY.
BUT I NEVER PUT OUT
ANT POISONING
AND I NEVER DELIBERATELY
TRIED TO KILL THEM.
I'M SORRY.
SO YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT
YOU'VE NEVER KILLED ANYTHING,
NOT EVEN A BUG.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ASK CHESTER.
HIS SUITS ARE FULL
OF HOLES
BECAUSE I WILL
NOT USE MOTH BALLS.
THANK YOU, MRS. TATE.
HOLES IN
HIS SWEATERS.
THANK YOU.
HOLES IN HIS SOCKS.
THAT'S ENOUGH, MRS. TATE.
HOLES IN HIS SHORTS,
BUT THEY'RE NOT MOTHS,
THEY'RE FLIES.
GET IT?
NO MORE QUESTIONS.
FLIES IN YOUR SHORTS?
EVER TRY TO USE
A PAIR WITHOUT ONE?
NOW, MRS. TATE,
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT
KILL PETER CAMPBELL?
WEREN'T YOU LISTENING?
WHAT IS THE MATTER
WITH YOU MEN?
OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR.
THE COUNSEL IS
BADGERING MY CLIENT
IN AN OBVIOUS ATTEMPT
TO STALL,
BECAUSE HE CANNOT PRODUCE
THE SURPRISE WITNESS
HE'S PROMISED
FOR TODAY.
I CAN, TOO.
OH, YEAH?
YEAH.
MR. FRANKLIN, HOW MUCH
LONGER DO WE HAVE TO WAIT?
UH, JUST A FEW
MORE MINUTES.
I OBJECT,
YOUR HONOR.
THE COURT HAS INDULGED
THE COUNSEL LONG ENOUGH.
ONE WONDERS IF HE EVEN
HAS A SURPRISE WITNESS AT ALL.
WELL, UH,
MR. FRANKLIN,
THE COURT WILL ALLOW YOU
A MINUTE OR 2 LONGER,
BUT THAT'S ALL.
THANK YOU.
EVERYBODY RELAX.
HAVE I GOT TIME
TO GO TO THE BATHROOM?
DON'T TAKE ANYTHING
TO READ.
HI.
YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED YOUR
MIND ABOUT THIS WEEKEND,
HAVE YOU?
LISTEN, CAROL, I...
OH, COME ON.
NOW I GOT US
A 2-BEDROOM COTTAGE.
WE'RE GOING
AS FRIENDS, REMEMBER?
OK. FRIENDS.
YOU'RE GOING AWAY
WITH HIM FOR A WEEKEND?
THAT'S RIGHT.
BUT HE'S A HOMOSEXUAL.
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND HE MIGHT COME
BACK A HOMOSEXUAL.
BUT IF HE DOES,
HE'S SURE GONNA HAVE
SOMETHING TO COMPARE IT TO.
ALL RIGHT, MR. FRANKLIN,
YOUR TIME IS UP.
NOW, I'M SORRY,
BUT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO...
YOUR HONOR,
I WOULD LIKE TO CALL
TO THE STAND AT THIS TIME,
MRS. SHEILA FINE.
WHO'S THAT?
MRS. FINE.
PAY ATTENTION.
YOU'RE GOING AWAY
FOR THE WEEKEND
TO THE BEACH
WITH A GIRL?
WONDERFUL!
I HOPE SHE TAKES
A BOOK TO READ.
BE SEATED.
STATE YOUR NAME
AND ADDRESS, PLEASE.
SHEILA FINE.
UH, 5093 ROCKRIDGE ROAD.
BUT CALL FIRST.
MRS. FINE, DID YOU KNOW
PETER CAMPBELL, THE DECEASED?
DID I KNOW HIM?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS JERK DID TO MY LIFE?
HE COMES INTO MY HOUSE
WHERE I'M SITTING
WITH MY HUSBAND
AND HE SAYS
I HAVE TO TESTIFY
SINCE I WAS HAVING AN
AFFAIR WITH PETER CAMPBELL.
MY HUSBAND
CALLED HIS LAWYER,
GRABBED HIS GIRLFRIEND
AND FLEW TO ACAPULCO.
I HOPE A TACO CHIP
GETS CAUGHT IN HIS THROAT
AND HE CHOKES TO DEATH.
YES, MR. FRANKLIN,
I KNEW PETER CAMPBELL.
AND HOW DID YOU KNOW HIM?
LYING DOWN.
I SEE.
AND WHERE WAS
THE LAST TIME
YOU SAW THE DEFENDANT,
MRS. TATE?
IN PETER CAMPBELL'S BATHROOM
THE DAY HE WAS MURDERED.
AND DID YOU HEAR
THE DEFENDANT SAY ANYTHING?
YOUR HONOR, THIS LINE
OF QUESTIONING IS AN OBVIOUS
DELAYING TACTIC.
IF IT PLEASE THE COURT,
I WILL EXPLAIN MY LINE
OF QUESTIONING.
YOUR HONOR,
UP UNTIL NOW,
THERE HAS BEEN
ONLY ONE ELEMENT
MISSING FROM
THE STATE'S CASE.
NOW WE HAVE SHOWN
THE MOTIVE FOR THE DEFENDANT.
THE MURDER WEAPONS
WERE FOUND IN
THE DEFENDANT'S POSSESSION.
AND NOW WE ARE
ABOUT TO HEAR TESTIMONY
THAT ONCE AND FOR ALL
WILL REMOVE ALL DOUBT
AND CLEARLY ESTABLISH
THE GUILT OF THE ACCUSED.
MRS. FINE,
WHAT DID YOU HEAR
JESSICA TATE SAY
TO PETER CAMPBELL
ON THE VERY DAY
OF THE MURDER?
I HEARD HER SAY TO HIM,
"I'M SO ANGRY,
I COULD KILL YOU."
THE PROSECUTION RESTS.
DID WALTER REALLY WALK OUT
ON EUNICE FOREVER?
DID HE ALSO LEAVE HER
WITH THE RESTAURANT BILL?
NOW THAT MARY HAS LEARNED
THAT BURT KILLED
HER FIRST HUSBAND, JOHNNY,
WHAT DOES MARY THINK
OF HER 2ND HUSBAND, BURT?
NOW THAT CORINNE HAS
WALKED OUT ON 2 MOTHERS,
DOES THAT MAKE
HER INELIGIBLE
FOR THE DAUGHTER
OF THE YEAR AWARD?
HAS MRS. FINE'S TESTIMONY
CONVINCED THE JURY
THAT JESSICA IS GUILTY?
IS JESSICA GUILTY?
THESE QUESTIONS
AND MANY OTHERS
WILL BE ANSWERED ON
NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE OF...
SOAP.
SOAP IS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
---
IN LAST WEEK'S
EPISODE OF SOAP,
BURT CHECKED INTO
THE MENTAL INSTITUTION
TO TRY AND CURE
HIS INVISIBILITY,
WHILE CAROL HAS LURED
JODIE AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND
TO TRY TO PUT AN END
TO HIS HOMOSEXUALITY.
MEANWHILE, PROSECUTOR FRANKLIN
HAS PROMISED JUDGE PETRILLO
A SURPRISE WITNESS
WHO WILL PUT
AN END TO JESSICA.
CONFUSED?
YOU WON'T BE AFTER
THIS WEEK'S EPISODE OF...
THIS IS THE STORY
OF 2 SISTERS.
JESSICA TATE
AND MARY CAMPBELL.
THESE ARE THE TATES.
AND THESE ARE THE CAMPBELLS.
AND THIS IS...
YOU SON OF A...
GO!
BOYS. BOYS.
OH.
WAITING FOR WALTER?
MRS. McCALLUM.
HE'S RUNNING
A LITTLE LATE.
AND I JUST COULDN'T BEAR
THE THOUGHT OF YOU
SITTING HERE ALL ALONE,
SO I CAME
TO KEEP YOU COMPANY.
WELL... WELL, I'M NOT
WAITING FOR WALTER.
SAVE IT.
WAITER, A MARTINI.
I WANT YOU TO STOP
SEEING HIM.
UH, THE WAITER?
NO.
WALTER.
OH, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU AND MY HUSBAND.
THE STANDISH HOTEL
IN BOSTON,
THE RITZ HOTEL
IN HARTFORD,
THE PLAZA HOTEL
IN NEW YORK,
THE TRAFALGAR HOTEL
IN NEW HAVEN.
NOT NEW HAVEN.
WE WERE NEVER IN...
N-N-NEVER IN NEW HAVEN.
ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT WE'VE
GOTTEN THAT OUT OF THE WAY,
I WANT YOU TO STOP
SEEING HIM.
NO, I WON'T.
WE LOVE EACH OTHER.
OH, PLEASE. LOVE?
WALTER DOESN'T LOVE ANYONE.
WALTER IS THE MOST TOTALLY
SELF-ABSORBED PERSON
IN THE WORLD.
WE HAVE A 7-YEAR-OLD
DAUGHTER ABIGAIL,
WALTER CALLS HER AMANDA.
7 YEARS AND HE STILL
DOESN'T KNOW HER NAME.
THANK YOU.
SO, DO YOU BOW
OUT GRACEFULLY,
OR DO I TELL WALTER
TO DUMP YOU?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
WALTER WOULD
NEVER DUMP ME.
GUESS YOU SPOTTED ME.
WE WERE JUST TALKING
ABOUT YOU.
SMALL WORLD.
IMAGINE THE 3 OF US
RUNNING INTO EACH OTHER
IN THE SAME RESTAURANT.
DON'T BOTHER, WALTER.
BOTHER? IT'S NO BOTHER.
IT'S NO BOTHER AT ALL.
SHE KNOWS, DARLING.
SHE KNOWS?
AH!
YES.
AND I WAS JUST
TELLING EUNICE
THAT IF YOU HAD
TO MAKE A CHOICE
BETWEEN THE TWO OF US,
I KNOW YOU'D CHOOSE ME.
YOU SEE, I TOOK OUT
A SMALL INSURANCE POLICY,
A DETECTIVE,
WHO AMONG OTHER THINGS
DISCOVERED THAT YOU'RE BEING
BLACKMAILED.
I PAID THE BLACKMAILER
AND BOUGHT THE MOST
INTERESTING SET OF PICTURES.
BY THE WAY, DARLING,
YOU DON'T PHOTOGRAPH WELL.
NOW, SHOULD YOU
EVER SEE HER AGAIN,
I WILL GIVE THOSE NEGATIVES
TO THE PRESS.
YOU'D DO THAT?
I MEAN, YOU'D RUIN
MY CAREER?
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU DON'T NEED A CAREER,
DARLING. I'LL SUPPORT US.
YOU'D SEE TO IT THAT
I'D NEVER HELD
ANY OFFICE AGAIN?
CORRECT.
WE COULD GO AWAY.
NO MONEY, NO JOB,
NO NOTHING?
UH-HUH.
WE'D HAVE EACH OTHER.
EUNICE?
YES?
SEE YA.
MOM...
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I SENT HIM HERE.
HE DIDN'T WANT TO COME.
MA, COME ON.
HE HAD TO COME.
NO. NO, HE DIDN'T.
AND NOW LOOK
WHAT'S HAPPENED.
HE'S RUN AWAY
AND GOD KNOWS WHERE HE IS.
MUST HAVE GONE
TO SLEEP.
I KNOW LUNATICS
JUST COME AND GO
AS THEY PLEASE AROUND HERE.
BE QUIET.
MA, I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.
WHAT HAPPENED?
BURT'S MISSING.
THEY CHECKED, UH,
ALL THE ROOMS AT BEDTIME
AND HE WASN'T THERE.
HE NEVER WAS, IF YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
MOM, MOM.
HOW LONG HAS
HE BEEN GONE?
HOURS. IT'S ALL
MY FAULT.
I FEEL SO AWFUL.
MY GOD, WHAT IF
HE NEVER COMES HOME?
VENTURE ON ME.
STOP IT.
STOP IT.
BOYS,
STOP IT!
BOYS, BOYS, BOYS.
LIGHTS WERE OUT
OVER AN HOUR AGO.
BACK TO YOUR ROOMS.
WE'RE JUST VISITING.
YOU'RE VISITING?
2 MEN ATTACK
A WOODEN DOLL
WHILE THE 3RD SCREAMS?
NICE TRY.
LISTEN, YOU
DON'T UNDERSTAND.
BOB HERE WAS SAYING
SOME REALLY NASTY THINGS.
OH, YEAH?
YEAH.
DANNY, DANNY,
NOT HERE.
OH, I SEE.
THE DOLL SAID
SOMETHING NASTY,
SO YOU WANTED
TO KILL IT.
THEY'RE VISITORS, DOCTOR.
WHO ARE YOU?
THEIR MOTHER.
I'M SORRY.
WE HAVE
VISITOR'S PASSES.
VISITING HOURS ARE OVER.
YOU'LL HAVE TO LEAVE.
YOU SEE, WE'RE WAITING
FOR MY HUSBAND. HE RAN AWAY.
I DON'T BLAME HIM.
KEEP THE NOISE DOWN.
AND TRY AND SET AN EXAMPLE
FOR THE PATIENTS.
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S OK, DAN.
HEY, MAR',
HOW'RE YOU DOIN'?
WHERE WERE YOU?
WE WERE SO WORRIED.
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
YEAH, ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT?
I'M FINE. I'M OK.
UH, YOU BOYS WAIT
DOWNSTAIRS FOR ME.
AND NO MORE
FIGHTING.
OK.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
WHAT HAPPENED?
I RAN AWAY.
BURT, IS IT
SO AWFUL HERE?
DO YOU HATE IT
THAT MUCH?
NO, NO, NO, NO, MARY.
IT'S NOT THIS,
IT'S NOT AWFUL AT ALL.
IT'S... IT'S VERY NICE HERE
AND I'M GETTING BETTER.
I REALLY AM. I'M GETTING...
I'M GETTING BETTER.
THEN WHAT IS IT?
YOU SEE, MARY,
WE TALK A LOT HERE
AND WE TELL OUR SECRETS,
YOU KNOW.
AND AT FIRST I THOUGHT,
"HEY, FORGET ABOUT IT."
I MEAN, NOBODY'S GONNA
HEAR MY SECRETS
BECAUSE I'VE GOT SOME
VERY WEIRD SECRETS.
THAT WAS UNTIL
I HEARD THEIR SECRETS.
WORSE.
THEY'RE MOSTLY THE SAME.
SEE, WE ALL HAVE
THE SAME SECRETS.
I... I MEAN THEY COME OUT
A LITTLE DIFFERENT
AND, UH,
I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE THERE ARE
ONE OR 2 HERE
WHO FRANKLY ARE
A LITTLE MORE CREATIVE
IN THE WAY THEY LOOK
AT THE WORLD,
LIKE CHICKEN MAN,
FOR INSTANCE,
BUT, ESSENTIALLY,
THE SAME...
CHICKEN MAN?
YEAH. WHEN THINGS
GET ROUGH...
HE BECOMES A CHICKEN.
OH.
WHEN THINGS GET
TOO ROUGH WITH ME, I...
THEN DISAPPEAR AND...
YOU KNOW,
HAROLD WEARS HATS,
SOME PEOPLE, UH,
DRINK A LOT.
OTHERS SLEEP,
AND YOU KNOW, AND...
SEE, I MEAN, WE... WE ALL
HAVE OUR OWN WAYS OF...
OF STEPPING BACK
WHEN THINGS GET TOO ROUGH.
IN THAT WAY, MAR',
WE'RE ALL THE SAME.
I EAT.
YEAH.
SEE, BUT THEN I REALIZED
THAT I HAD ONE SECRET
THAT NOBODY ELSE HAD,
AND UNLESS I TOLD THEM
THE SECRET,
I COULDN'T REALLY
GET BETTER.
AND UNLESS I TOLD YOU
THE SECRET,
I COULDN'T COME HOME.
SEE, BECAUSE MARY
I CAN'T LIVE WITH YOU
AND LOVE YOU AND...
AND KEEP THE SECRET
FROM YOU.
SO TELL ME, DARLING.
TELL ME THE SECRET.
I CAN'T, MARY.
THAT'S WHY I RAN AWAY,
BECAUSE I REALIZED
I CAN'T TELL YOU THE SECRET,
SO I CAN'T GO HOME.
THEN I THOUGHT,
"I CAN'T TELL THE SECRET HERE,
SO I CAN'T STAY HERE,"
SO I RAN AWAY AND I...
I ROAMED AROUND THE CITY
ALL NIGHT TAKIN' THE SUBWAY.
ON THE SUBWAY,
I COULD HAVE TOLD MY SECRET,
NOBODY WOULD HAVE CARED.
BUT YOU CAME BACK HERE.
MARY, I CAN'T LIVE
ON THE SUBWAY.
OH.
SO I FIGURE I CAN'T TELL
THE SECRET HERE,
EXCEPT OF COURSE
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE HERE.
MARY, I GOT NO PLACE
TO GO.
SO, DARLING, TELL ME
THE SECRET AND COME HOME.
I CAN'T. I GOTTA GO.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOIN',
BUT I GOTTA GO.
BURT, I LOVE YOU.
YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING IN MY LIFE TO ME.
SO THERE IS NOTHING,
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,
THAT YOU COULD TELL ME
THAT WOULD CHANGE
THE WAY I FEEL.
GO ON.
I KI...
I MURD...
I KI...
OH, I CAN'T.
BURT, SWEETHEART,
THIS DOESN'T HAVE
TO BE SO DIFFICULT.
NO MATTER
WHAT YOU SAY,
NO MATTER WHAT
YOU HAVE DONE,
I WILL LOVE YOU.
THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.
GO ON NOW.
I KILLED
YOUR FIRST HUSBAND.
I KILLED
YOUR FIRST HUSBAND.
OH, MY GOD.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
BOY, OH, BOY,
I WISH MY CARDIOLOGIST
COULD HAVE SEEN ME.
I DIDN'T MEAN
TO RUSH YOU,
BUT MY DAUGHTER
IS COMING HOME.
YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T
THINK I COULD.
I DIDN'T THINK
I REMEMBERED.
YOU DIDN'T
REMEMBER MUCH.
I HOPE YOU HAD
A NICE EVENING, INGRID.
HOW CAN YOU
EVEN ASK, ANTHONY?
WHY, YOU ARE PROBABLY
THE MOST INTELLIGENT,
FASCINATING
AND GENTLE MAN
I'VE MET SINCE...
INGMAR BERGMAN.
AH!
BYE-BYE, TONY.
WAS THAT THE JUDGE?
WHAT, DEAR?
JUDGE PETRILLO.
THAT WAS JUDGE PETRILLO.
LOOKS LIKE THE JUDGE,
DOESN'T HE?
YOU'RE TRYING TO FIX
THE TRIAL, AREN'T YOU?
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
YOU'RE DATING HIM SO THAT
YOU CAN CONVINCE HIM
TO HANG MY MOTHER.
I'M YOUR MOTHER.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
WELL, IT JUST
SO HAPPENS
THAT I AM ENORMOUSLY
ATTRACTED TO HIM.
WHEN I SAW HIM
UP THERE IN THE COURT,
I JUST COULDN'T TAKE
MY EYES OFF HIM.
BULL.
WHAT... WHAT DOES IT MEAN,
THIS "BULL"?
IT MEANS YOU'RE LYING.
YOU'RE TRYING
TO FIX THE TRIAL.
HOW CAN YOU
DO THAT TO HER?
BECAUSE I HATE HER.
SHE'S NEVER DONE
ANYTHING TO YOU.
SHE TOOK YOU AWAY
FROM ME.
THAT WASN'T HER.
THAT WAS MY GRANDMOTHER.
AND THEN I WAS SENT OFF
TO ECUADOR, OF ALL PLACES,
WHEN SHE KNEW,
COMING FROM SWEDEN,
HOW THE HEAT
WOULD AFFECT ME.
YOU SAID YOU CAME HERE
FOR ME
AND... AND NOW YOU'VE GOT ME,
SO WHY CAN'T YOU
LEAVE THEM ALONE?
BECAUSE IT'S NOT ENOUGH.
I WANT TO SEE
THEM ALL SUFFER.
ACTUALLY, I'D LIKE
TO SEE THEM ALL DROP DEAD.
BUT, UH, I'LL SETTLE
FOR SUFFERING.
OH, I HATE THEM.
WELL, I'M ONE OF THEM.
OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT.
YES, I AM.
AND YOU HATE THEM
MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME.
THINK ABOUT IT.
MA?
COMING, TIM.
OH.
MA.
HOW ARE YOU, MA?
GOOD. GOOD.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
COME ON IN.
OH, I COOKED YOU EVERYTHING
THAT YOU LOVE.
LASAGNA?
OH, LASAGNA
IS JUST THE BEGINNING.
I NEED TO TALK
TO YOU, MA.
YEAH, SURE.
I'VE GOT A PROBLEM.
OH, I LOVE IT.
PEOPLE COME TO PRIESTS
WITH THEIR PROBLEMS.
AND LOOK, A PRIEST
COMES TO HIS MOTHER.
WELL, I THOUGHT
I OUGHT TO LET YOU KNOW
WHAT WAS GOING ON.
YEAH, SURE.
BUT...
OF COURSE,
TELL YOUR MOTHER.
THERE'S A GIRL.
WHERE?
NO, MA.
THERE'S A GIRL,
AND... AND I KEEP THINKING
ABOUT HER.
OOFA!
I CAN'T GET HER
OUT OF MY MIND.
IT'S A TEST.
HE'S GIVING YOU A TEST.
DON'T YOU KNOW A TEST
WHEN YOU SEE ONE?
NO, MA. IT'S NOT A TEST.
I'M THINKING ABOUT
LEAVING THE PRIESTHOOD.
YOU KNOW,
I FINALLY SAW THAT
STAR WARS FILM
THEY WERE ALL RAVING ABOUT.
I DON'T KNOW,
IN MY DAY,
THEY HAD A LEADING MAN,
IT WAS CLARK GABLE.
TODAY THEY GOT
A LITTLE MACHINE
THAT GOES "POOP!"
MA, MA, DID... DID YOU
HEAR WHAT I SAID?
I MEAN, FRANKLY,
I COULD HAVE STAYED HOME
AND LOOKED AT
MY UPRIGHT VACUUM CLEANER.
DID YOU HEAR ME?
I'M SORRY. I'M GETTING
A LITTLE OLD.
I DON'T HEAR SO GOOD.
I SAID I WAS THINKING
ABOUT LEAVING...
I MEAN, NOT ONLY
IS MY HEARING BAD,
BUT MY HEART
IS VERY WEAK.
I MEAN, THE SLIGHTEST SHOCK,
AND IT COULD KILL ME.
OTHERWISE I'M FINE.
I SAID I WAS THINKING
ABOUT LEAVING THE...
I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID.
YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT
LEAVING THE PRIESTHOOD.
YES.
OK.
FINE.
MA.
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
I THINK I'M IN LOVE.
FINE.
I'D LIKE THE COFFIN
CLOSED, PLEASE.
PLEASE, MA.
I CAME HERE BECAUSE
I NEED SOME HELP,
SOME UNDERSTANDING.
SORRY.
ALL I CAN GIVE
YOU IS LASAGNA.
SOMETIMES PRIESTS ARE WRONG
ABOUT THEIR CALLING.
I DIDN'T BREAK MY VOWS.
MY SUPERIORS UNDERSTAND.
AND GOD'LL FORGIVE ME.
FINE.
IF HE WANTS
TO FORGIVE YOU, LET HIM.
I WON'T.
MRS. TATE, THINK.
THINK. WHO MIGHT
THE SURPRISE WITNESS BE?
OH, MR. MALLU.
IF I THOUGHT OF IT,
IT WOULD RUIN
MR. FRANKLIN'S SURPRISE.
BENSON, EVERY MORNING
IT'S THE SAME THING.
I ASK FOR POACHED EGGS,
I GET SCRAMBLED.
I ASK FOR SHIRRED EGGS,
I GET SCRAMBLED.
I ASK FOR SUNNYSIDE UP,
I GET SCRAMBLED.
I NEVER GET WHAT I WANT.
WHY DON'T YOU ASK
FOR SCRAMBLED?
BENSON, I WILL
NOT EAT THESE EGGS.
UH, BENSON?
HMM?
WOULD YOU FIX SOME EGGS
FOR MR. MALLU, PLEASE?
CERTAINLY.
HOW DO YOU LIKE 'EM?
POACHED.
ALL RIGHT, BENSON,
I'LL HAVE SCRAMBLED.
MRS. TATE, THINK.
WHO WOULD SAY
SOMETHING BAD ABOUT YOU?
BESSIE STEVENS.
YOU SEE, IN THE 7TH GRADE,
BESSIE STEVENS HAD BRAIDS
DOWN TO HER WAIST,
AND I CUT THEM OFF
TO USE THEM TO BE POCAHONTAS.
NO, NO, MRS. TATE.
IT IS NOT BESSIE STEVENS.
THEN IT'S ROBERT CORWIN.
ROBERT CORWIN.
IN THE 10TH GRADE,
ROBERT CORWIN...
SHE THINKS WE'RE PLAYING
THIS IS YOUR LIFE.
MRS. TATE, WHO ARE
YOUR ENEMIES NOW?
ENEMIES? ENEMIES, SIR?
HOW ABOUT HITLER
AND MUSSOLINI FOR STARTERS?
GOOD MORNING,
DADDY.
HIYA.
EGGS, MAJOR?
YUP.
BENSON!
WHAT ABOUT ME?
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
DO I HAVE TO MAKE
THEM MYSELF?
MOTHER, I'M NOT
FEELING TOO WELL.
I'VE GOT A SORE THROAT.
OH, DEAR.
I'M AFRAID YOU'LL HAVE TO
CANCEL COURT THIS MORNING.
I HAVE TO TAKE BILLY
TO THE PEDIATRICIAN.
MRS. TATE,
YOU CAN'T CANCEL COURT.
MOM, I DON'T WANT
TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.
YOU HAVE TO GO
TO THE DOCTOR.
YOU HAVE A COLD.
YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM
TO THE DOCTOR.
YOU HAVE TO GO TO COURT.
I'LL TAKE HIM.
THE BOY'S SICK.
AND NOW, MRS. TATE, BEFORE
YOU COMPLETE YOUR TESTIMONY,
TELL ME, DID YOU OR DID YOU
NOT KILL PETER CAMPBELL?
DO YOU KNOW YOU HAVE ASKED ME
THAT QUESTION 6 TIMES?
YES.
BUT THIS TIME I WANT
THE JURY TO HEAR.
DID YOU OR DID YOU
NOT KILL PETER CAMPBELL?
7.
HE HAS ASKED ME
THAT QUESTION 7 TIMES.
DO YOU WONDER HOW THIS MAN
EVER GOT OUT OF LAW SCHOOL?
NO.
NO, WHAT?
NO, I DIDN'T KILL
PETER CAMPBELL.
THANK YOU, MRS. TATE.
AND NOW, IN YOUR LIFETIME,
HAVE YOU EVER KILLED ANYTHING?
NO. NEVER.
UNLESS YOU WANT
TO COUNT THE TIMES
THAT I ACCIDENTALLY
STEPPED ON ANTS.
I OBJECT.
MR. FRANKLIN, YOU CANNOT
HELP STEPPING ON THEM.
THEY'RE SO TINY.
BUT I NEVER PUT OUT
ANT POISONING
AND I NEVER DELIBERATELY
TRIED TO KILL THEM.
I'M SORRY.
SO YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT
YOU'VE NEVER KILLED ANYTHING,
NOT EVEN A BUG.
THAT'S RIGHT.
ASK CHESTER.
HIS SUITS ARE FULL
OF HOLES
BECAUSE I WILL
NOT USE MOTH BALLS.
THANK YOU, MRS. TATE.
HOLES IN
HIS SWEATERS.
THANK YOU.
HOLES IN HIS SOCKS.
THAT'S ENOUGH, MRS. TATE.
HOLES IN HIS SHORTS,
BUT THEY'RE NOT MOTHS,
THEY'RE FLIES.
GET IT?
NO MORE QUESTIONS.
FLIES IN YOUR SHORTS?
EVER TRY TO USE
A PAIR WITHOUT ONE?
NOW, MRS. TATE,
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT
KILL PETER CAMPBELL?
WEREN'T YOU LISTENING?
WHAT IS THE MATTER
WITH YOU MEN?
OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR.
THE COUNSEL IS
BADGERING MY CLIENT
IN AN OBVIOUS ATTEMPT
TO STALL,
BECAUSE HE CANNOT PRODUCE
THE SURPRISE WITNESS
HE'S PROMISED
FOR TODAY.
I CAN, TOO.
OH, YEAH?
YEAH.
MR. FRANKLIN, HOW MUCH
LONGER DO WE HAVE TO WAIT?
UH, JUST A FEW
MORE MINUTES.
I OBJECT,
YOUR HONOR.
THE COURT HAS INDULGED
THE COUNSEL LONG ENOUGH.
ONE WONDERS IF HE EVEN
HAS A SURPRISE WITNESS AT ALL.
WELL, UH,
MR. FRANKLIN,
THE COURT WILL ALLOW YOU
A MINUTE OR 2 LONGER,
BUT THAT'S ALL.
THANK YOU.
EVERYBODY RELAX.
HAVE I GOT TIME
TO GO TO THE BATHROOM?
DON'T TAKE ANYTHING
TO READ.
HI.
YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED YOUR
MIND ABOUT THIS WEEKEND,
HAVE YOU?
LISTEN, CAROL, I...
OH, COME ON.
NOW I GOT US
A 2-BEDROOM COTTAGE.
WE'RE GOING
AS FRIENDS, REMEMBER?
OK. FRIENDS.
YOU'RE GOING AWAY
WITH HIM FOR A WEEKEND?
THAT'S RIGHT.
BUT HE'S A HOMOSEXUAL.
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND HE MIGHT COME
BACK A HOMOSEXUAL.
BUT IF HE DOES,
HE'S SURE GONNA HAVE
SOMETHING TO COMPARE IT TO.
ALL RIGHT, MR. FRANKLIN,
YOUR TIME IS UP.
NOW, I'M SORRY,
BUT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO...
YOUR HONOR,
I WOULD LIKE TO CALL
TO THE STAND AT THIS TIME,
MRS. SHEILA FINE.
WHO'S THAT?
MRS. FINE.
PAY ATTENTION.
YOU'RE GOING AWAY
FOR THE WEEKEND
TO THE BEACH
WITH A GIRL?
WONDERFUL!
I HOPE SHE TAKES
A BOOK TO READ.
BE SEATED.
STATE YOUR NAME
AND ADDRESS, PLEASE.
SHEILA FINE.
UH, 5093 ROCKRIDGE ROAD.
BUT CALL FIRST.
MRS. FINE, DID YOU KNOW
PETER CAMPBELL, THE DECEASED?
DID I KNOW HIM?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS JERK DID TO MY LIFE?
HE COMES INTO MY HOUSE
WHERE I'M SITTING
WITH MY HUSBAND
AND HE SAYS
I HAVE TO TESTIFY
SINCE I WAS HAVING AN
AFFAIR WITH PETER CAMPBELL.
MY HUSBAND
CALLED HIS LAWYER,
GRABBED HIS GIRLFRIEND
AND FLEW TO ACAPULCO.
I HOPE A TACO CHIP
GETS CAUGHT IN HIS THROAT
AND HE CHOKES TO DEATH.
YES, MR. FRANKLIN,
I KNEW PETER CAMPBELL.
AND HOW DID YOU KNOW HIM?
LYING DOWN.
I SEE.
AND WHERE WAS
THE LAST TIME
YOU SAW THE DEFENDANT,
MRS. TATE?
IN PETER CAMPBELL'S BATHROOM
THE DAY HE WAS MURDERED.
AND DID YOU HEAR
THE DEFENDANT SAY ANYTHING?
YOUR HONOR, THIS LINE
OF QUESTIONING IS AN OBVIOUS
DELAYING TACTIC.
IF IT PLEASE THE COURT,
I WILL EXPLAIN MY LINE
OF QUESTIONING.
YOUR HONOR,
UP UNTIL NOW,
THERE HAS BEEN
ONLY ONE ELEMENT
MISSING FROM
THE STATE'S CASE.
NOW WE HAVE SHOWN
THE MOTIVE FOR THE DEFENDANT.
THE MURDER WEAPONS
WERE FOUND IN
THE DEFENDANT'S POSSESSION.
AND NOW WE ARE
ABOUT TO HEAR TESTIMONY
THAT ONCE AND FOR ALL
WILL REMOVE ALL DOUBT
AND CLEARLY ESTABLISH
THE GUILT OF THE ACCUSED.
MRS. FINE,
WHAT DID YOU HEAR
JESSICA TATE SAY
TO PETER CAMPBELL
ON THE VERY DAY
OF THE MURDER?
I HEARD HER SAY TO HIM,
"I'M SO ANGRY,
I COULD KILL YOU."
THE PROSECUTION RESTS.
DID WALTER REALLY WALK OUT
ON EUNICE FOREVER?
DID HE ALSO LEAVE HER
WITH THE RESTAURANT BILL?
NOW THAT MARY HAS LEARNED
THAT BURT KILLED
HER FIRST HUSBAND, JOHNNY,
WHAT DOES MARY THINK
OF HER 2ND HUSBAND, BURT?
NOW THAT CORINNE HAS
WALKED OUT ON 2 MOTHERS,
DOES THAT MAKE
HER INELIGIBLE
FOR THE DAUGHTER
OF THE YEAR AWARD?
HAS MRS. FINE'S TESTIMONY
CONVINCED THE JURY
THAT JESSICA IS GUILTY?
IS JESSICA GUILTY?
THESE QUESTIONS
AND MANY OTHERS
WILL BE ANSWERED ON
NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE OF...
SOAP.
SOAP IS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.