Smallville (2001–2011): Season 8, Episode 19 - Stiletto - full transcript

NARRATOR:
Previously on Smallville:

Say that Clark Kent,
the unassuming journalist...

Steps out of the shadow,
creating two completely separate identities?

No more than three tablets a day.

They can be highly addictive.

And you're sure this is it?

This is where I belong.

Watchtower is officially on line.

There's something about being around you
that seems to calm the murderer inside me.

Will you stay with me?

LOIS: Without a doubt, I am officially a true
believer in this red-and-blue super dude.



I won't stop until I land
the first worldwide interview.

Good luck with that.

[CROWD CHATTERING]

[CAMERAS CLICKING]

If you're not a member of the press society,
you won't be on my list.

LOIS:
Check again.

Lois Lane.

I've written stories for the Daily Planet.
You've heard of it.

It, I've heard of. You, not so much.

Again, I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Okay, obviously there's been
some sort of mistake.

It's not like I squeezed
into five-inch heels for my health.

Ms. Lane, there's simply nothing
I can do.



Actually, there is.

You can tell Edward R. Murrow...

...he can kiss this cub-reporter's sweet...
CHLOE: Lois.

Oh! Chloe. Thanks for coming.

The gargoyle at the gate
was letting in everyone but me.

Come on.
My car's parked around the corner.

That was the event
for journalistic achievement...

...and Lois Lame
isn't even a plus one.

Lois, you're an amazing reporter.

Uh, correction, was an amazing reporter.

You're only as good as your last story
and I wrote mine so long ago...

...it was practically with a feather pen.

I need that news splash. The pregnant man,
or an impeached president...

...or better yet,
a rendezvous with a superhero.

You gave up on the costumed
crusaders after the red-blue blur ignored...

...your open letter begging
for an interview.

Can you blame the guy?
What was I thinking?

If you want your first interview with a
rock star, you don't start with Springsteen.

I had no idea you were such a groupie
of the red, bold and blue.

Well, who isn't?

The man has reinvented
the American hero.

Think about it.

He saves people, he's mysterious,
completely unavailable.

What part of that
doesn't scream Lois Lane?

God, you seriously have a crush on him,
don't you?

I respect his heroism professionally.

But even when I did lower the bar
and tried a Green Arrow interview...

...it turns out Mr. Emerald-Chaps is another
closet case when it comes to publicity.

They wear costumes
because they don't want publicity.

- Now, hurry up. I'm parked illegally.
- Ugh!

Hold on.

These heels are silent killers.

MAN: Give it to me.
CHLOE: No.

- Let me go.
- Chloe.

CHLOE: Lois.
MAN: Just give me the keys.

CHLOE: No.
- Unh!

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

[GROANS]

[IGNITION STARTS
THEN TIRES SCREECHING]

This one's for your friend.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

[PANTS]

Who the hell are you?

Some sort of superhero?

You bet I am.

Call me Stiletto.

I know, Davis, I was sidetracked.
I'll be home in 20 minutes.

You're still in the basement, right?

- Good.
- Ms. Sullivan?

You took a pretty hard hit to the head.
You should stick around.

- I'm fine.
- No, it's my professional advice...

I appreciate that. But I do have to go.

Is this what it takes you to call back
for me these days? Are you okay?

Yeah, thanks for coming.

Sorry about being
the invisible best friend lately.

- Where have you been?
- Um...

Watchtower.

Heh, just when I thought
I'd hit my fill of, uh...

...high-maintenance men,
I take a job from Oliver.

CLARK: Thought he was off the grid.
- He's in Syria.

Sort of incommunicado
with the rest of the world...

...which is why I'm glad you're here.

My laptop was in my backseat
when the carjacker peeled away.

I've been using it to update
my Watchtower databases from home.

Those contain details of every operation.

Hence the panicky flair
with everything I've been saying.

And before you bite my head off, I admit,
I know, I never should have taken it home.

Tell me it was encrypted.

But not unhackable.

Okay, I'll find your computer.

Did you get a good look at the mugger?

I got a good look at the asphalt after
he hit me. But there was another witness.

When I came to in the ambulance, Lois was
raving about some mysterious heroine...

...who swept in
and saved the day. Stiletto?

Must be some kind of knife expert.

- Where is Lois anyway?
- Heh.

There may be a new superhero in town,
where do you think she is?

LOIS:
Page 10?

Why don't you just bury my Stiletto sighting
with the classifieds while you're at it?

The next time you pull me from a banquet
at least get me a story with a picture.

Something tells me
Stiletto's got a bad case of camera shy.

She's not posing for a head shot.

Get her in action on the street.

Sure, no problem. I'll just ask to see
her schedule of upcoming saves.

What...?

Did I misjudge you, Lane?

I thought your game was all about
the power of persuasion.

Get the picture.

CLARK:
Lois.

Chloe told me about the attack. She said
you mentioned someone named Stiletto?

Patience, Smallville. Tomorrow you can
drool over her with the rest of the world.

I'm fine, by the way. Thanks for asking.

This Stiletto gave you all these quotes?

She was talkative.

Look, I need you
to put me in contact with her.

Get your own hero.

I have to respect her request
to keep a low profile.

It is not every day that a superhero
entrusts me with her phone number.

She gave you her number?

Sorry, my eyes only, Smallville.

Lois, this carjacker
took Chloe's computer.

It has all her Isis client information on it.

If this Stiletto
was the last person to see this guy...

...I need to talk to her.

Look, if you wanna help Chloe...

...why don't you go downtown
and talk to the thug they did catch?

Maybe Stiletto left enough teeth
in his mouth for him to rat out his buddy.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]

[CROWD CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

WOMAN 1:
Yeah, that was great.

[WOMAN 1 LAUGHS]

WOMAN 2: Thank you.
- Thanks. Ha, ha.

Rye whiskey. Double.

Right away, Mr. Mannheim.

WAITER:
Hey, ugly.

The boss wants to see you,
and doesn't look very happy.

I bet he's not. Mr. Businessman.

Hey, uh, real quick...

Sorry.

[JIMMY SIGHS]

Look, uh, I know I just started,
but I was wondering if I could, uh...

...get an advance on today's pay.

Yeah.
I've just had some stuff come up.

I'll talk to Ricky.

But this is the last time.

[SNIFFS]

I was hoping at the very least,
A.J. Was arrested for a Dolce & Gabbana.

Somebody clocked us.
We had to get out of there, Mr. Milano.

Bruno, I'm trying
to pull us out of the streets.

We've finally cracked the metallic tint
with those green rocks from Smallville.

We can make all the money in the world
and you're out there snatching purses.

It's not about the door prize.

It's about reminding people
we're the ones who own this town.

Not some cape-wearing circus freaks.

Yeah.

Between the gash on your mug
and A.J.'s shiner...

...you two clowns are real intimidating.

How can you just sit back and let these
vigilantes take over the streets? Our streets.

Enough!

We are done with petty street crime.
We are a business now.

Yeah, you're...

You're right, boss.

Maybe it's time for Bruno Mannheim
to climb that corporate ladder.

[GRUNTS]

Next, we say good night
to the wannabe heroes...

...starting with Stiletto.

That one's personal.

Lois?

Lois, come on. I can't be late for work.

What are you doing?

Picking up your rebound.

Lois.

[FAN WHIRRING]

I'm, uh, really flattered,
but I just broke up with Chloe.

Ew, no.

I mean rebound your career.

Nothing numbs the pain of a breakup
like good old-fashioned work.

Look, I'm not here to be saved.

You mentioned a hundred bucks.
Now, what do you want me to shoot?

[SIGHS]

Metropolis' newest superhero.

Incoming.

[CAMERA CLICKING]

Meet Stiletto.

I was gonna sew an S into the chest.
Is that tacky?

Lois.

[SCOFFS]

You're not serious.

Well, not about the whole
cleaning-up-the-streets part, obviously.

But...

I sort of quoted Stiletto
in one of my articles...

...and my editor said
I need a photo to get a page one.

[CAMERA CLICKING]

I didn't see that giant asterisk above
Lois Lane's Rules to Reporting that said:

"Or just make it up."

Hey, unlike you...

...some of us haven't gotten our up-close-
and-personal with the red-blue blur yet.

Now.

Look, I know you're dying for a story with
the guy, but he doesn't talk to anybody.

No offense...

...but why's he gonna talk to you?

Exactly.

The red-blue blur
might not talk to me, at first.

But a fellow superhero like Stiletto
might just get his attention long enough...

...to pitch the writing prowess
of the great Lois Lane.

Ready?

[LOIS SIGHS]

Okay, well good luck with that.

Last I checked, he's kind of invisible.

But crime in this city isn't.

And when that police scanner goes off,
the red-blue blur is never far behind.

E-mail those photos to my editor.

I'm off to talk to a real hero.

[WHOOSHING]

CLARK:
Chloe.

Turns out Lois' super friend may be
our only hope in getting your laptop.

According to Met PD, Stiletto's takedown
posted bail before they got him behind bars.

I haven't been able to find leads
on Stiletto's whereabouts...

...but you might wanna
take a look at this.

Blur-Etto?

You know you've made it
when you have your own fan site.

And it looks like your fans
are doing a little matchmaking.

"No one understands a hero's life
of solitude better than a fellow cape."

"These two lonely hearts belong together."
Who thinks this stuff up?

Are they that far off the mark?

Chloe, romance is the last thing
on my mind right now.

I know. But let's face it.

You thought you found
your super-powered soul mate in Lana.

And I haven't heard you
say a word about her since she left.

That's because I have you.

[CHLOE CHUCKLES]

Come on, Clark.

I know I haven't been
the most reliable sidekick lately...

...and Oliver and his gang are MIA.

Having someone who knows what it's like
to lead a double life...

...might not be a bad thing.

No. Look, my double life and I
are just fine.

I'd rather focus on finding Stiletto
and getting your computer back.

Okay.

Bold as she may be, I seriously doubt
we're gonna be able to call her out...

...by putting a spike heel
over a klieg light.

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER RADIO]

Isn't it almost your bedtime, Smallville?

Just finishing up some work
while I'm still motivated.

[SIGHS]

Slow night.

I'm good if you want to go.

If the red-blue blur calls,
I'll be sure to patch him through.

Right. Because your idea
of being a hero...

...is making sure there's paper
in the fax machine.

Just doing my job.

You're wasting your midnight oil.
Between the two of us...

...the editor is only counting
the empty coffee cups on my desk.

Because you're in the big leagues,
and I'm a copy boy?

No, because you're doing way better
than anyone expected.

MAN [OVER RADIO]:
All units come in.

WOMAN [OVER RADIO]:
Attention downtown units.

Silent alarm at Riverside Jewelry
on 5th and Water, handle code 10-38.

Well, I better go feed Shelby.

Ah. I should hit the gym.

I know I'm late.
I, uh, got caught up in a project.

Hey, uh, taking pictures of the sunset,
bar boy?

- This is a nice tele-macro zoom.
- Heh.

You used to be a journalist, didn't you?

What are you doing here?

Now this is interesting.

Blondie looks a lot different
when she's smiling.

- Ha, ha. Adorable.
- Give me my camera back.

Uh. Uh-uh.

[CAMERA BEEPING]

What's going on here?

Do you know her?

- Her?
- Yeah.

No. That's just a fluke.

[SIGHS]

Where is she?

Are you having a hard time hearing me?
Heh.

I said, where is she?

[GRUNTING]

Where's Stiletto?

I have no idea.

Look, I don't know where she is.

What is wrong with you?

It's like you want me to kill you.

Who's the hero now?

- Way to go. Now he's out.
- Oh, he's worthless.

But it seems everyone is in on Stiletto.

Get Ricky to hack
into that stolen laptop.

In the meantime,
I want you to go right to the source.

Let's see what else we can squeeze
out of blondie.

[ALARM RINGING]

[LEATHER SQUEAKING]

Wonderful. Very stealth, Lois.

[GROANS]

Next time, I call myself Nike. Ugh!

You beat me here.

Hello?

Are you here?

Are you the Stiletto?

Can I just say, it's an honor...

Lois?

[SIGHS]

[IN BRITISH ACCENT]
Lois? Who's Lois?

I'm Stiletto.

I should get back to my cave.

You could have a bag over your head
and I'd still know it's you.

[SIGHS]

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Go figure. I want
the red-blue blur, I get the exact opposite.

What do you think you're doing?

What are you doing?
You're supposed to be feeding Shelby.

Seriously, is there any woman in your life
you haven't stood up?

I saw the way you looked at that scanner.
I know you want this story.

I came here to make sure you're okay.

Obviously not, if you're
impersonating the Stiletto.

Okay, first off, it's just Stiletto.
There's no "the."

And second,
I'm not impersonating anyone.

I am Stiletto.

You made up a fake hero
so you could write her story?

Yeah.

[POLICE SIREN WAILING NEARBY]

Stiletto's only the beginning, Clark.

These heels could kick open
some major doors for me.

What if Stiletto could help land
a one-on-one with the red-blue blur?

CLARK:
No, this blur, he...

He avoids reporters. What would you say
to him no one else has?

I wouldn't say anything, Clark. I'd listen.

What if he's not looking
for a best friend?

Super powered or not,
every Fred needs a Barney.

Unless it's based on a lie.

[SIGHS]

Besides, it could be dangerous.

You'll find yourself in a situation
you can't Stiletto yourself out of.

Stiletto kicked ass. You should've seen
the guy I sent downtown.

By the time I got there, some attorney
named Moynahan got him out...

...before I could talk to him.
- Chris Moynahan?

- He represents Ron Milano.
- The biggest crime boss in Metropolis.

Then let's go save the world.

I'm in the market for a sidekick,
just don't slow me down.

I'll find Milano.

You're gonna do everything to make sure
your Stiletto story doesn't get published.

You know your transmission
slips a bit in third?

What are you doing here?

- What do you know about Stiletto?
- Stiletto?

I don't know who you're talking about.
Let me go.

No. Ugh!

[GRUNTING]

You do not wanna lie to me.

I swear, I don't know who Stiletto is.
I never saw her.

Okay, sweetheart. But if you do,
I'd like to leave a message.

[GASPING]

[GROWLING NEARBY]

[A.J. SCREAMS]

Hello to you too.
Expecting Freddy Krueger?

What are you doing here?

I thought you were
tracking down Stiletto.

Well, the story broke a proverbial heel.

It's not happening.

Oh, bummer.

Oh, well, I mean, it is Friday night.

There's bound to be a tequila shooter
out on this town with your name on it.

Why don't you go out?
You know, have fun.

I'm not actually here to hang.
But 10-4 on the loud and clear unvitation.

[SIGHS]

Jimmy's not answering his phone and
I was wondering if perhaps you knew...

Where my ex was?

I thought that's what
Facebook updates were for?

Why are you even looking for him?

I needed his help photographing something,
now I need his help burning the evidence.

Fine. You know what?

Surprise.

I'm Stiletto.

Lois.

Oh, my God.
You did this for a story, didn't you?

[SIGHS]

Okay.

Clark's diatribe is still ringing in my ears.
I don't need it in surround sound.

I get it, I messed up.

[SIGHS]

Like you've never gotten
in over your head?

Actually, Lois, um...

...can I tell you something?

Sure.

Jimmy should be at the Ace of Clubs.

[CHUCKLES]

I really need to remove him
from my Facebook friends, don't I?

Yeah.

Thanks, Chlo.

And thank you for understanding.

Anytime, Lois.

[ELEVATOR BELL RINGS]

RICKY:
Bruno, check this out.

BRUNO: Yeah, what do you got?
RICKY: I just unlocked a whole mess of files.

Who the hell are these guys?

[GROANS]

[GRUNTING]

[CLARK PANTING]

Jimmy.

Jimmy.

[GRUNTING]

How the hell did you get back here?

[GROANS]

BRUNO [FROM INSIDE]:
You know who you're talking to?

Do you know who I am?

[GRUNTING]

Do you wanna mess with me?

You wanna mess with me?
You wanna punch me?

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

Oh, my God.

BRUNO: Get off...
RICKY: Back up, man.

- You're gonna kill him.
BRUNO: Come on.

Seriously?

Oh...

[PANTING]

Clark Kent of the Daily Planet.

You reporters think
you got a little story.

Oh, that's it.

Whew.

Wow, that's far.

[GUN COCKS]

If you want, I can tell you how it ends.

Come on, Lois.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

That worked.

Jimmy.

Stiletto has no idea
what she just stepped in.

Lois.

Clark.

Clark.

Hang in there, you're gonna be just fine.

Oh, my God.

Dial 911.

[CLARK GROANING]

Why did you do that, Clark?

You didn't need to be some kind of hero.

Lois, you have to get me out of here.

Okay. Okay.

- Come on.
JIMMY: Medics are on their way.

LOIS:
Come on, superhero.

You're gonna be fine.

[GRUNTING]

Nothing like a double-frosted bear claw
to ease the pain of a flesh wound, right?

Oh, I, uh, didn't know whether you wanted
your copies single-sided or double.

I did both.

And then I thought, hmm,
three holed or no holed?

So I did both,
which is why there's so many.

Lois, you didn't have to do all this.

But thank you.

[GROANS]

Looks like you got
your cover story after all.

I guess.

You guess?

The last time your name was above
the fold, you held a champagne toast.

Is there something about this article
that's still bothering you?

Fine. I admit it.

Sometimes the Lois-"Fast"-Lane ambition
ramps into cruise control...

...and gets away from me.

Those mob guys would still be on the street
if you hadn't come to my rescue.

[CHUCKLES]

Your rescue?

Yeah, right.

You're the one with the...

Smallville...

...if you hadn't been there to...

You're welcome, Lois.

I hope this means Stiletto's
hanging up her heels for good.

Gladly. Those heels
were giving my blisters blisters.

Besides, if Mannheim had better aim,
you'd be dead.

And it was really sweet of you
to, you know...

...throw yourself in there, but, uh,
I never should have put you in danger.

It's not like you save lives
for a living.

No. There's only one red-blue blur.

Honestly, I don't envy the guy.

After walking a mile in Stiletto's shoes,
I was reminded...

...that I am not cut out
for that life of solitude.

I didn't know there was room
for introspection underneath that costume.

Wow, look who got grazed
by a funny bullet.

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

You weren't gonna eat this, were you?

Hey, man. Didn't think
I'd be hearing from you again.

Yeah, let's just get this over with.

You're the one that said
he was strapped for cash.

Yeah, well I guess things change.

[KNOCKING THEN DOOR CLICKS OPEN]

Hey, Clark. Thank you.

I never thought it would feel so good to be
reunited with a bunch of silicon microchips.

I grabbed it before the police. Hopefully,
Mannheim wasn't able to pull files off it.

Well, rest assured,
Tony Soprano Jr. Is my last close call.

I am done traveling with all
of my techno treasures in one basket.

Are you expecting company?

Uh, no. Heh.

Turns out that my body's natural reaction
to stress...

...is to bake
undigestible amounts of food.

Really?

After all the near-apocalypses
we've been through...

...I've never seen more than a chocolate-
chip cookie come out of that oven.

You okay?

It's...

I mean, you almost died yesterday.

For my computer. Heh.

Chloe, you made an honest mistake.
I'm fine.

I know you better than that.
This is not about a computer.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Really, I'm fine.

I apologize if I've been
a little off my game lately.

It's just that, after my divorce,
Brainiac...

...and playing Watchtower
to a bunch of needy superheroes...

...I forget that I need to be all smiles.

Chloe, no one expects you to bounce back
from everything you've been through.

I just want you to know
I'm here for you, if you need me.

I know.

But right now,
I really just need a little bit of space.

Not a super save, okay?

[SIGHS]

When am I gonna learn a wild goose chase
for a story usually ends with a rotten egg?

[TELEPHONE RINGING NEARBY]

Hello?

MAN [IN DEEP VOICE OVER PHONE]:
Is this Lois Lane the reporter?

Who wants to know?

This is the red-blue blur.

Yeah, right.

How do I know you're not some wannabe
with a lot of time on his creepy hands?

[WHOOSH]

Look down.

I received your letter, Ms. Lane.

Call me Lois if you want.

And do you wanna weigh in
on the whole red-blue blur thing?

Because it's kind of a mouthful
on this end.

I think there's probably
a better name out there.

And if there's anyone who can find it,
it's you, Ms. Lane.

I'll put my best men on it.

By men I mean me. I work in the basement
and employ pretty much no one...

...unless you count my intern.

[OVER PHONE]
I'm sorry, I'm rambling.

You're nervous.

Can you read my mind?

It's Saturday night,
I hightailed it down here.

Because I have one obsession right now
and it's you.

And when you didn't respond
to my sky writing, I just...

CLARK [IN DEEP VOICE]:
That was a nice one, by the way.

Between you and me, I could use
a little work on that subtle thing.

There's nothing wrong
with taking your job seriously.

There is when you don't know
who you'd be without it.

CLARK: Something tells me you know
yourself better than you think.

Lois, you're a great reporter
all on your own.

You don't need a hero or some gimmick
to make a headline.

LOIS:
Thanks.

My editor would kill me,
but I don't want this story.

What I've really been wondering is...

...what is it that you need?

You've dedicated your life
to a city full of strangers.

I'm not saying that I know
what it's like to be a hero...

...but even the fastest blur in the world
can't outrun loneliness.

I guess what I'm saying is...

...if you ever wanna talk,
totally off the record...

...I'm only a phone call away.

I'll keep that in mind.

And, Lois, when I'm ready to tell the world
my secret, you'll be the first to know.