Smallville (2001–2011): Season 6, Episode 20 - Noir - full transcript

After a secret meeting with Lionel, Lana is shot at the Daily Planet by a mysterious gunman. Jimmy is knocked out while studying photographs of the scene and dreams about a 1940, black-and-white version, of Smallville. Jimmy finds himself playing the role of a reporter with Chloe his secretary, and a bumbling Clark also works there, as his sidekick. Jimmy's investigation leads him to Lana, who turns out to be a very evil femme fatale who plans to orchestrate the murder of her tycoon husband Lex by using Jimmy as the patsy. Jimmy's research further takes him to a notorious nightclub owned by Lionel Luther, and Lois is a sultry singer working at club who is having a fling with Lex to help him orchestrate the murder of Lana. Meanwhile, back in 2007, Clark discovers why Lana married Lex after Chloe learns it from Lana. Also, Lois further meddles in the shooting case by stealing a silver-lined cigarette case which holds a clue.

I don't think this
blindfold thing's gonna work.

I know these halls better than anyone.

Hey, it's not my surprise
you're spoiling.

All right, but I can't get too far away.
I need to hear the phones.

All right.


I transferred your line in here.

It's not your fault you got phone duty
during Senator Burke's visit.

But unless he makes a pit stop
to the pole -dancing parlor...

...well, then we can still
make it a date.


Have I mentioned you are the best
boyfriend a girl could have?

Right back at you, sweetheart.

I figured you could use an escape
from your real-life soap opera.

What do you mean?


Well, you live it every day,
but from the outside.

Your real life's got Cagney
and Stanwyck written all over it.

You've got your billionaire mogul,
the confused damsel...

...who chose money over love,
and the friend...

...who shows up everywhere
because he can't get a job.

Not to mention the steadfast dame
they all depend on.

Wow. A real glimpse into the mind
of Jimmy Olsen.

FYl, "dame"? Not so flattering.

CARMEN [ON FILM]: What's your name?
MARLOWE: Riley. Doghouse Riley.

That's a funny kind of name.

You think so?

What are you, a prizefighter?

-No, I'm a shamus.
-What's a shamus?

It's a private detective.

CARMEN: You're making fun of me.
-They don't make them like they used to.

Movies or people?

You're cute.

Yeah. Thank you.


-That wasn't from--
-The movie.



No, tell them we're on our way up.

Female, early twenties,
gunshot wound to the chest.

-Is she gonna be all right?
-She's hurt pretty badly. Come on, Clark.


I'm sorry, Lana.

Sorry I got you caught up in all this.

I'll find whoever did this.

I'll find them.




-Where is she?

She is being medevaced
to our specialist in Smallville.

-She was with you at the opera.
-You didn't show up.

So I dropped your wife at her car.

-This was about an hour ago.
-You better hope she's all right.

Now, I know someone as alert and
amazing at his job as you must be... must have some idea
what happened here.

Nice try, Miss Lane...

-...but it's not gonna work.
-Well, a girl?s gotta try, right?

MAN: Hey, Phil.
-Excuse me.

Oh, man, I am such a klutz.
I'm so sorry.

CHLOE: So the police think
it was a mugging.

CLARK: A mugging?
JIMMY: Inside the building?

Normally I'd be the first
to cry foul play...

...but she was downtown,
middle of the night, fancy dress...

...stolen purse. He probably jumped her
before she knew what was happening.

Am I the only one
that thinks it's weird that she was...

-...with Daddy Warbucks instead of Lex?
-Whoever attacked her is out there.

Jimmy and I saw him flee.
But the police will run prints on the gun.

Which the mugger left behind.

What was Lana doing here
in the middle of the night anyways?

I should've been watching.
Since she married Lex, I've been angry--

Clark, tell me you are not
making this your fault.

I've always been there
for her until now.

-I gotta find out who did this.
-Well, the police aren't saying much...

...but maybe you'll have better luck.

Jimmy, I need you to download
the photo of Lana's attacker.


You can ask her.

She never remembers anyway.

MARLOWE: Just what did she forget
about Sean Reagan?

What did she tell you?

Not half as much as you just did.

Take it easy.

I know slaps are good
around this time of the evening.



You go too far, Marlowe.


MAN 1:
All right, here's what I got.

MAN 2:
Right over here, boys.

MAN 3:
I'll get it right to him.

Sleeping on the job?
What's the big idea?

Well, I don't-- I can't--

"I don't"? "I can't"?
What's gotten into you, Jimmy Olsen?

The town's hopping with the senator's
visit and you're in dreamland.

I didn't take a job slinging coffee
for just anyone.

I picked the best, I tell you, the best.

The Daily Planet's never seen a reporter
like you. I plan on keeping it that way.

Oh! Jeez, oh, jeez.

I'm sorry.

Miss Sullivan, we haven't even met
and already I've ruined your blouse.

This is very-- Um, Clark Kent.

K. Kent. I'm Clark Kent.

Chloe Sullivan,
and it's quite all right.

What's with the glasses?


Special delivery
up from the mailroom.

So, what, I'm supposed to answer
your phone now too?


Olsen here.

I hear you're the best.

I wanna report a murder.



I hope I didn't
keep you waiting, Mr. Olsen.

Well, how do you like that.

The untouchable Lana Luthor.

Seems a lot of people got a lot
of ideas about me.

Listen, I don't know
if this is such a good idea.

Your old man's gotta own
half of Metropolis...

...not to mention a certain building
at 1000 Broadway. Big globe on top.

Just talking to you
could lose me my job.

Better your job than my life.

My husband's trying to kill me.

Now why would you
believe a thing like that?

The other day I was crossing 6th Street
when out of nowhere this car...

...veered right toward me,
then it sped away.

It was no accident, Jimmy.

You don't mind if I call you
Jimmy, do you?

Actually, it's James.

You're so confident...

...and so brave,
and I'm so afraid.

I wonder if you could spare a bit
of your strength for me.


I always knew something
didn't sit right with Luthor.

Just a shame a girl like you had to
get caught up in this rotten business.

Do you have any proof?

I knew I could count on you.

My husband's been
sneaking out at night.

I found this in his pocket.

Consider it a thank-you...

...for your help.

I'm here to see a friend.

Ain't everyone?

Look, I don't want any trouble,
honest, I just came--

The kid's with me.


Eyes back in your head, Olsen.

I didn't peg you as the kind of guy
with a secret identity.

And you're never gonna.

Now, suppose you tell me
what story you're chasing.

No story, just thirsty.

Come on, a guy like you,
with a reputation to uphold?

You wouldn't be caught
100 yards of this place...

...unless you were
sitting on a big scoop.

Rye whiskey.


Put it on his tab, Joe.

Name's Kent.

You stroll in here
with this crackerjack kid....

You trying to land me in the cooler?

Cool your jets, Mack.
Jimmy here's just a little down on love.

Ain't you, Jimmy?

Poor sucker.

Man, dame's his poison.


If that's what you're after...

...get in line.

No, no, I'm just....

-Who's your new heavy?

I got nothing on Kent so far
but his tab.

Losing your grip, Paps.

You used to run this town.

Now it looks like the only shots
you're calling are from behind that bar.

So it's Luthor you're after.

Better wipe that newsy smile
off your face.

Luthor can smell fresh blood
a mile away.

Fresh? Now, you listen here, Kent--


I'm one of the good guys.

Yeah, that's what they all say.

If it's young Luthor you're tailing,
I got a tip for you, on the house.

Every night he makes a big exit,
makes sure the whole joint knows it.

But when his car pulls off
out of the alley...

...he's not in it.


Oh, I can't take it anymore.

You're never gonna let me in
on your real life.

Believe me, angel... wife will be out of
the picture soon enough.

You can't keep toying
with a girl?s heart like this.

I gotta know it's real.

Is this real?





Did anyone follow you?

No. I lost them hours ago.

You shouldn't have come.
He could be home any minute.

I can't bear this much longer.

Has it all been in my head?

Have I been so lonely, I've started
making up stories to amuse myself?

I'm afraid not.

You're right about your husband
wanting to get rid of you. And soon.

If I run, he'll track me down.

And if I confront him, he'll make it
look like an accident.

Don't worry. I'll take care of Lex.

Just to protect yourself, please.

I couldn't bear it
if anything happened to you.


Nice driving back there.

And don't worry...

...I kept my word.

I'm here alone.

I'm afraid your word's
not worth much, Luthor.

Doesn't matter.

By tomorrow you'll be picking
lead out of your lungs.

Not unless you want this
to be the next headline.

I'm guessing this isn't about a raise.

It's about right and wrong.

Now, what you do with the singer,
that's your business...

...but I'm not about to let you
bump off your wife along the way.

Oh, yeah. I heard you say
you were gonna get rid of her.

Sure I am...

...once the divorce is final.

I filed for it today.

-Came as a shock to your wife.
-I doubt that.

Don't worry, Jimmy, you're not
the first sucker she's spun in her web.

But you better get out
before you stick.




-Operator, get me junction 435.
-Would I lie to you?

Just came over the wire. Okay.


-What's all the flurry about?
-There's been a murder.

And they say the victim is Lex Luthor.

Oh, criminy.

I am such a klutz. I'm so sorry. Listen,
I'll cover you while you go clean up.

Mr. Lex Luthor, dead on arrival.

A press badge from the Daily Planet
was found on the site...

...with a photo of Mr. Luthor
and that singer.

Now, a suspect was seen
fleeing the scene of the crime.

Suspect, 5'10", brown hair,
brown overcoat, and medium build.


Last call.

Give me another.

No, make it a double.

Only one thing
will drive a man to drink alone.

I wish it were as simple as a dame.

Nothing simple about them, kid.

Guess that's what keeps us
coming back for more, huh?

Jimmy, I've been to every gin joint
in town looking for you.

-You're not the only one.
-Figured it'd be the last place you were...

...but the first place I'd find you.
They think you shot Lex Luthor.

Yeah, I shot him, all right.
Went down cold right in front of me.

Listen, I'm not gonna let you
go down for this, Jimmy.

Someone set you up,
and I just might know who did it.

That telephone line
you had for Mrs. Luthor... weren't the only one dialing it.

Seems that shiny new reporter,
Clark Kent's...

...been spinning those numbers
ever since he came to town.

What are you trying to tell me?

Looks like
the boss's old lady...

...might be getting a little more
from Kent than just the headlines.

Yeah, it's me.

Listen, boy wonder may have
taken the bait, but he's onto you.

Doesn't matter anymore.

You're on top
of the lowlife food chain...

...and I'm out from under
a suffocating marriage.

There's something
I have to take care of.

I thought that's what
I was here for.

Don't worry...

...we won't have to
sneak around much longer.

JIMMY: Guess you took me for a patsy,
didn't you, Kent?

You played me
right from the very start.

You saw your chance
to bump off the old man...

...let me take the fall for it,
and you get away with the girl.

But why'd you have to?

He didn't, I did.

Aren't you full of surprises.

I'm sorry I had to drag you
into all this, James. I really am.

They are gonna put me away.

They won't get the chance.



Why'd you make me do it?

It was all for you.


I should've known better.

Rule number one...

...never get mixed up with a girl...

...not when you're on the job.

On the job?

You're a cop?

Undercover unit.
I was sent here to watch Lex Luthor.

Falling in love
with his wife, that was....

That was my mistake.

Those were some eyes
that she had.

Would have made any guy
wanna be a hero.

Yeah, well, those eyes
just got you the electric chair.

Someone should've told you, kid,
there are no heroes in Metropolis.




Oh, my God, are you all right?

Don't bother.

The picture of Lana's
trigger-happy friend's gone.



It was right in front of me
the whole time, I didn't even see it.

Jimmy, remember me?
The one outside your head?

Lana didn't know you were working.
What if she wasn't here to see you?

-What if she's not innocent?
-Why would she come to the cellar...

-...if it wasn't to visit us?

...I know Lana's your friend...

...and you don't wanna think of her
as a two-timing backstabber...

...but, you know, maybe she had
something she couldn't trust you with.

Aha. The cigarette case is missing.
Think about it.

Lana doesn't smoke.
What would she be doing with it?

What was inside?

A cigarette case?

Maybe something big enough
to get killed over.

And she was taking it to someone
on the other floor when she was shot.

So, what, she just staggered
into the elevator and ended up here?

You know, the elevator has a memory.

So its computer could tell us
what floor it was on last.

I was thinking more gossip column
than political intrigue.

My God.

Lana, what have you
gotten yourself into?

When did you learn to do that?

Some girls go for sports cars...

...I figured you're more of
a lock-picking kind of girl.

According to the building's
exit records...

...Brennan was the only reporter
left on this floor when Lana was shot.

Bowling trophies don't exactly scream
cold -blooded killer.

What the hell are you doing?

We have reason to believe that
Lana Luthor was with you last night.

I've never met her.

Maybe you shot her
and snagged her purse... make it look like
a petty robbery.

-I'm calling Security.

You can tell how you knocked out
Jimmy and erased your photo.

The entire building was sealed off.
Only someone with prior access...

...could have done it.

Hey, look. Mrs. Luthor said
she had a story and wanted to meet.

She must've been getting off the
elevator when someone intercepted her.

I heard the gunshot, I saw the elevator
going down, so I took the stairs.

But when I got there...

...I heard you coming,
and I guess I just panicked.

I'm sorry about your head.

But if the police had gotten your photo,
they never would've believed me.

What was she bringing to you?

All I know is she said
she needed help, and it had--


Call 911.


You didn't have to wait
till the last second.

What fun would that be?




Oh, my God. Chloe.

-Did you get him?
-I knocked him out cold, but--

You don't have a scratch on you.
I don't understand. How is that--?

Thank you.

Busy day, Miss Lane?

Does breaking and entering
not mean anything to rich people?

About as much as removing evidence
from a crime scene.

I caught your little maneuver
at the Planet.

So it didn't surprise me
that a piece of evidence was missing.

The silver cigarette case.

Really, Mr. Luthor, I was lucky to get
a quote from a parking attendant.



Lillian loved this.

My wife, she was fond of gardenias.

But I think what
you're looking for is inside.

You open this?

There was nothing on it.

Ares is supposed to be operational.

LEX: We're in the final stages
of testing, senator.

Well, after all my shuffling... keep the appropriations
under the radar, I certainly hope so, Lex.

We both have a lot to lose, senator.

You didn't know Lex was working
with Senator Burke, did you?


You have got to give Lana major props
for double -crossing both Luthors.

I'd be careful...

...Miss Lane.

Whoever protecting Senator Burke...

...hired someone
to kill the wife of a Luthor.

I doubt whether they'd think twice
about silencing you.


Close call.

Luckily I don't remember much.

Let me fill you in
on a few of the details.

Someone didn't want you
and Brennan to expose...

...whatever was
in that cigarette case... they tried to kill you,
and succeeded with him.

Now, I know that Lex
would never do anything... hurt the love of his life,
but who did?

Chloe, if I could tell you, I would.
It's complicated.

I'm a quick learner.


He's been forcing me to dig into Lex
and turn over everything to him.

Lionel has you spying on Lex?

But instead of giving him
the information you found... were gonna give it
to the papers?


It was my only way
to get out from under them.

I don't understand.

I mean, Lionel has a league
of minions. Why you?

He needed someone on the inside.

Someone who could
get close to Lex.


Lana, is that why
you went through with the wedding?

Why would you do that?

To protect Clark.

From what?

Clark can take care of himself.

What about his weakness?

Chloe, you admitted yourself
that he has one.

Whatever Clark is capable of...

...there's something
stronger than him, isn't there?

If you're keeping this from Clark
because you're trying to protect him...

-...he needs to know.
-He can't.

Chloe, I know that
you confide everything in him...

...but I need you to trust me.

Clark's life could depend on it.

I've been all over town,
all I can find out about the guy...

...who attacked Lana
is that he's a hired gun.

He's out of commission,
so it looks like we hit a dead end.

That's it?

Someone takes a hit out on Lana...

...and you're just gonna
give up just like that?


You're holding back
something from me, aren't you?

Chloe, I can't believe you'd lie to me.

I can't believe you didn't hear
the irony in that statement.

-You know how much she means to me.
-First, ouch.

Second, if you really wanna help,
Clark, just stay out of it, okay? Please.

I'm gonna find Lana's attacker,
with or without you.

How long have you kept
your secret from Lana...

...because you were
trying to protect her?

Are you telling me
Lana's doing this to protect me?

Look, all I'm saying is that
sometimes people do things...

...that you don't expect,
and you don't understand.

And sometimes they have
a really good reason for it.

As much as I wanna believe that
that reason is Lex--

We both know he'd never
do anything to hurt her.

Well, then if it's not Lex, then....

There's only one other person
who would manipulate her like that.

Take it from the look
on your face...

...the cops can't get
Lana's attacker to talk.

Didn't have a chance.

Guy got knocked off
right after he landed in county lockup.

Mr. Luthor...

...the gun at the crime scene
didn't belong to the assailant. It's yours.


-Police never mentioned--
-It's unregistered.

I pulled the ballistics report,
it matches your gun. The missing one.

My guess is Lana's
been carrying it...

...pulled it on whoever
confronted her and lost.

Lana's never carried a gun.

What would she be so afraid of?


There's my hero.

Just my luck.
I finally get a photo on page one...

...I'm in front of the camera,
not behind it.

Even I was impressed
with the Sam Spade quick thinking.

You can't tell me all that
just came from a bonk on the noggin.

You know, it was so weird.

Half of it made sense,
but Lana and Lionel working together...

...and Clark Kent leading a double life
as a reporter by day...

...and crime fighter by night....

You know, it's funny
what your mind will cook up.

So why the pilgrimage to Podunk
at the peak of your fame?

Well, I made you a playlist
to keep you company while I'm gone.



I'm being sent on assignment.

-That's great.

Photo editor saw the paper,
finally knows my name now.

Are you on the human-trafficking story
in Istanbul with Fletcher?

Actually, the Polar Bear Swim Club
in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

-Bunch of old guys in a lake, but--
-It's a start.

I gotta go catch my plane, but there's
something I gotta do before I go.