Smallville (2001–2011): Season 5, Episode 5 - Thirst - full transcript

Lana tells Clark that she is moving to the Metropolis University and she is accepted in the Tri Psi Sorority, a sisterhood with hot vampires led by Buffy Sanders, and Lana is transformed in...

Normally I wouldn't waste my time
meeting with a college freshman...

groveling for an internship.

- Well, thank you, Ms. Kahn.
- Bitterman!

- Yeah, chief?
- Where's that piece on Senator Jennings?

- I'm typing it up.
- I don't see your fingers moving.

Twenty minutes, or they'll be
twiddling over the want ads.

Of course, chief.

- Where was I?
- The internship.

Oh, right, right, right.
You didn't get it.


Well, then why am I here?

Curiosity. It's the backbone
of any decent reporter.

Have you got backbone, Sullivan?

Yeah, I...

You had a column here
a couple of years ago, didn't you?

When I was in high school.

Well, that is quite
an accomplishment...

to have your own byline
when you're practically still in diapers.

I mean, a lot of reporters...
Well, real reporters.

Work for years before
they can get that kind of a chance.

I just wanted to meet the kid
that could pull that off.

- Thanks.
- Oh, well, don't thank me.

Thank Lionel Luthor.

He's the one who arm-twisted
the old chief editor...

into dropping your juvenile pablum
into this paper.

- I didn't ask Lionel to do that.
- Well, you didn't say no either, did you?

You must've done something
to piss Lionel off...

because he got you fired.

I remember that day.

I believe we had cake.

Ms. Kahn, I don't expect
to be given a column like last time.

I will start from the bottom
and work my way up...

without any help or arm-twisting.

All I want is the opportunity
to prove myself.

Being a part of this world...

working at the Daily Planet...

it's always been my dream.

We all have to wake up sometime,
don't we, Sullivan?

By the way, we don't validate.

You know what, Ms. Kahn?

I know you may be editor in chief now,
but even you had to start somewhere.

And I am not gonna give up
until I get the same chance.

I started by being
a damn good reporter.

You want a break?

Bring me a story.

Okay, let's stop for a second.

In case you can't tell,
I was completely freaked out.

Pauline Kahn
had thrown down the gauntlet.

The woman had two Pulitzers.
I had a high school service plaque...

and absolutely no idea where
my big story was gonna come from.

Little did I know
that 10 city blocks away...

it was about to bite me in the ass.

Well, more like the neck,
but we'll get to that later.

Welcome to the Tri Psi sorority house.

I think that's Greek
for "bimbos, bikinis and beer."

Pete's Pizza.
Delivered in 28 minutes, piping...


Oh, my God, we are so starving.

Let's eat in the Jacuzzi.

I really should be getting back.

I have two more stops.

Can't you stay?

- Just for a little bit?
- Please?

Well, maybe just for a minute.

What about your pizza?

You taste so much better
than pepperoni.

No! No! Oh, God, no!

Singing telegram.

- Hey.
- Clark, hi.

I just wanted to...

come by and surprise myself.
What's all this?

This is me packing.

- Packing for what?
- For college.

I got late acceptance to Met U.


Why didn't you tell me
you applied to Met U?

Because I didn't wanna
get my hopes up.

You know, I applied so late,
I didn't think I had any chance.

With your grades,
they'd be crazy not to accept you.

Well, I got in just under the wire.

There aren't even
any dorm rooms left anymore.

- Where are you gonna stay?
- I can crash at Chloe's.

But maybe I'll try a sorority.

I know how it sounds...

but it's the only housing
near to campus...

I have any shot of getting into.

You know, Central Kansas University
has plenty of housing still available.

- And...
- And they have you.

But they don't have any of the courses
that I'm really interested in.

Especially astronomy.

It's not gonna be that bad.

We'll talk to each other on the phone
all the time.

Don't worry.

Nothing's gonna change between us.

Welcome to the most prestigious
and exclusive sorority...

at Metropolis University.

We are the richest,
we are the prettiest...

we are the best.

Over the next few days,
many of you will be disappointed.

But if you're insanely cool...

and very, very lucky...

you might just be chosen
to be a Tri Psi.

And if that happens,
it'll change your life.


Meet Buffy Sanders,
president of the Tri Psi sorority.

By the way, I've changed the names
to protect the vapid.

In the final days
of the Roman Empire...

wealth and power...

were the only things
the emperor coveted.

What about the good citizens
of Rome? What did they do?

Did they rise up? Burn their bras
and their draft cards?

No. They went to the Colosseum.

They stood idle while an evil man
destroyed their world.

In your lifetime, each of you
may be faced with a similar situation.

The question is, will you leave
your footprints on the history of time...

or let them be washed away
by the tides of more powerful men?

Mr. Kent.

What about you?

Me? I...

LuthorCorp practically owns
your hometown of Smallville.

What if you found out
that Lex Luthor...

the emperor of the company...

was a dangerous, unstable

bent on destroying your world?

Would you have the courage
to try to stop him?


Read chapter three for Monday.
There'll be a quiz on the material.

Interesting lecture you've been giving.

- I hope you've been taking notes.
- Just the highlights.

You've been painting me
as the poster child for corporate villainy.

Some of the things you've said
come dangerously close to libel.

It's only libel if it isn't true.

Everything I say in this classroom
is supported by my research.

- Into me.
- You are a fascinating subject.

You wanna know
what fascinates me, professor?

Your lectures have
included speculation...

on certain LuthorCorp projects
that aren't even public knowledge.

Oh, I'm sorry. I never speculate.

The study of history
is built on meticulous research...

even before
coming to obvious conclusions.

And would one of your research sources
be Clark Kent?

I know you hired him
as your assistant.

Now, why would a man
of your stature...

be so concerned with the comings
and goings of a freshman farm boy?

If you know so much about me,
professor, I'm sure you realize that...

I donate a considerable
amount of funding to this university.

That allows me an unusual level
of access to the dean...

and the academic review board.

Yeah, I know.

The buying of influence
is part of my second semester.

If you have a second semester.

You should all be very proud.

The four of you were amazing
during rush week.

Like little diamonds in the rough
waiting to be polished.

But not everyone is Tri Psi material.

It's sad, but it's a fact.

Carol, Bobbi, Susan,
please step forward.

The three of you were really great!

But great isn't enough for a Tri Psi.
A Tri Psi has to be excellent all over.

- Bye, now.
- Toodles.

- Bye-bye.
- You have to go.

Wait a minute, you mean that I'm in?

Lana, come on. You're amazing.

Of course we want you
to be one of us.

Wow, thank you.

But there is just this little initiation thing
that we have to do first.

- What the hell are you?
- We're Tri Psis.

The hottest vampires ever.

Welcome to the sisterhood.

Nice shot.

You just have to know the angles.

That why you've been looking
into my past?

Come on, professor.

You're not the only one interested
in history, are you?

You don't strike me as that much
of an academic type.

What's this?

I know you're a busy man.
Thought I'd save you some time.

That's my whole life in there.

Every record, every achievement,
every failure...

all the way back
to the day I was born.

I'm supposed to just swallow all this?

You wouldn't be the great Lex Luthor
if you did.

No, you'll spend a fortune
checking and rechecking...

convinced what you believe
must be true.

And what is it I believe, professor?

That everyone is hiding secrets
as dark as yours.

How did you get this?

Just used my brain.

It's an interesting document, isn't it?

It seems to indicate
you're using funding to the university...

to conduct questionable
LuthorCorp experiments.

On campus.

But off the corporate books.

I wonder what the dean
would think about that.

Never start a game you can't win,
Mr. Luthor.


With pleasure, sir.

What are you doing?

- I'm redecorating.
- Karen, this is my side of the room.

Yeah, but I gotta look at it, okay?

Now, listen to me. I did not spend
four years of high school misery...

dreaming about coming to Met U
for this, okay?

- No, I...
- No, okay?

While we're on the subject
of roommate etiquette...

can you please tell questa ubriacata
over here...

this isn't the Betty Ford clinic,

I'm gonna go now.

I'd rather be roommates
with a two-headed monkey.

All right, Lana.
Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty.

Up and at them.

Okay, for someone
with a keen "weirdar"...

I can't believe I didn't see the signs.

But I defy anyone to tell the difference
between a nascent vampire...

and a freshman girl
with a hangover.

Didn't you have class this morning?

I must have overslept.

First official day on campus
and you're already hung-over.

Maybe you really are sorority material.

- Is Lana here?
- Hey.

Yeah, what's left of her.
Pledge party. Higher learning at its best.

Maybe you should see
if you can breathe life into her.

I'll be at the library
researching ways to kill my roommate.

Rough night last night?

I guess.

It's all a little fuzzy.

It must have been some party.

I tried to call you a few times
last night...

and again this morning.
Did you get my messages?

No, I haven't checked
my voicemail yet. Sorry.

Lana, are you okay?

I'm just feeling a bit dead.

God, you smell amazing.

Is that new aftershave?

No, it's just the usual.

Well, maybe we should try
something unusual.

Lana, I...

Shut up, Clark. You talk too much.

Lana, stop.
What's going on with you?

We're not in high school anymore, Clark,
things change.

- I can see that.
- We're in college now.

- Live a little. I plan to.
- What does that mean?

It means exactly what I said.

If you're gonna be all needy
and insecure...

maybe we need to reevaluate
this relationship.

Shouldn't put your hands
on things that aren't yours, professor.

Actually, it is mine.

I Googled vampires.

Their historic traits include
aversion to sunlight, elongated canines...

an insatiable hunger
for human blood.

Oh, and immortality.

Poor Lana is about to find out
about the last one the hard way.

Looks like we picked a winner.

This is so much better
than sitting around...

listening to my boyfriend
whine about his feelings.

You're a Tri Psi now, Lana.
We eat boyfriends for breakfast.

- Well, then, to breakfast.
- Breakfast.

Maybe I should slow down a little bit.

Where's the fun in that?

You are not one of the normal,
boring people anymore, Lana.

- You're one of us now.
- And we do things a little more exciting.

- Like what?
- Like this.

Oh, my God, did you see her face?

She's all like:

Oh, didn't we tell you?

You get to live forever.


I don't know what's going on
with Lana.

But I went over
to the sorority house to say hi...

and one of the pretty plastic people
told me she was still asleep...

at 3:00 in the afternoon.

Yeah, I tried calling her too,
but she won't pick up.

Maybe she needs a little space.

- Or some serious deprogramming.
- What do you mean?

Well, I'm pulling up some information
for a story I'm working on...

and I think there's more
going on at that house...

than pedicures
and pillow fights.

I think you better get over here...

- Hey.
- Clark.

- What do you got?
- Besides a heart attack?

Okay, six years ago Tri Psi
was just your regular sorority...

and then their new president
took over.

- Buffy Sanders.
- Yeah.

After that, they became
the most exclusive sorority at Met U.

They get more pledges than
any other Greek sorority every year...

but they only choose one girl
to be part of Tri Psi.

- Lana.
- Yeah.

It looks like she's a member for life.

According to this, ever since
Buffy Sanders took over...

not one Tri Psi has ever left
the sisterhood.

Think that has something to do
with the way Lana's been acting?

I think that there's only one way
that we can be sure.

- A costume party?
- It's the perfect cover...

for us to get in there
and poke around.

I hate costumes.


Right, invitation.

I had one when I was
at the nail salon...

and then, of course, I went
to get waxed and to the tanning bed.

So I...

Carlos, do you remember
where I put it?


No. No, I don't.

I'm not supposed to let you in
without an invitation.

But I won't tell if you don't, Carlos.

Great. Okay, well...

Let's go, Carlos. Sorry.

So Carlos, huh?

It starts with a C.

Don't you think the cape
was a little much?

I kind of like it. It's not too bad.

It's the mask. It slides around.
I can hardly see anything sometimes.

Why don't you check upstairs,
see if you can find anything.

I'll scope things out down here.

- If you see Lana...
- I'll let her know that you're here.


- Lana.
- Hey!

Go play with your six-shooter. Me and
the kitty-cat here need to have a talk.

- What are you doing in here?
- I was looking for the bathroom.

Hot tub!

Sorry, Buff.

Come on, let's go.

Lana, what is wrong with you?

I'm having fun.
You should try it sometime.

What if Clark saw you with that guy?

You remember Clark, right?
Your boyfriend?

The one who cares about you
more than anything?

You sure know how
to ruin a party, don't you?

Lana, I don't know what's going on,
but this isn't you.

You wouldn't hurt Clark like this.

I'm sorry, Chloe.

But you shouldn't have come here.

Oh, sweetie, this isn't a movie.

Never confront a vampire
when they're hungry.

Even if they are your best friend.

Clark. Please help me.


Frankly, I don't know what else to try.

We've given her a transfusion.
There's no improvement.

What's wrong with her?

As near as we can tell...

she's been infected with
some sort of rabies-like virus.

It was probably transmitted in the saliva
of whatever animal bit her.

It's attacking her red blood cells,
preventing them from regenerating.

Is there anything you can do?

We can keep up the transfusions
and hope she stabilizes.

I'm sorry.

You have to fight it, Chloe.

You have to fight it.

Is she all right?

Professor, what are you doing here?

Visiting a sick colleague.

Though he seems to be doing
better than your friend.

- What happened to her?
- She was bitten.

By what?

I know how this is gonna sound...

but I think she was attacked
by a vampire.

- There's no such thing as vampires.
- I know what I saw, professor.

She's lost a lot of blood,
and the transfusion didn't work...

because she's infected
by some weird strain of rabies.


You might wanna have a word
with your buddy Lex Luthor.

- Lex?
- Yeah, ask him about Project 1138.

You got that just from
looking at Chloe's chart?

I recognize the symptoms
from my research at LuthorCorp.

Now, you wanna play 20 Questions
or save your friend's life?

How could you be so stupid?

You never leave anyone alive.
You have to finish them off.

Or turn them by making them
drink your blood.

Oh, that guy Carlos saw you.

- His name's Clark.
- Oh, whatever.

He saw you feeding.
And he was sneaking around my room.

That's two strikes.
I'm not waiting for a third.

- He's my boyfriend.
- So?

Lana, you are going
to live forever now.

He's gonna get old and withered and sag
in places you don't wanna see sagging.

You're special, he's not. Deal.

What are you gonna do to him?

Me? Oh, honey,
this is your freshman mess.

Find Clark and bring him back here...

with just enough life in him
so we can all have a taste...

or you're the one
we'll be feeding off of tonight.


Project 1138, what is it?

- I never heard of it.
- Don't lie to me.

I know it has
something to do with rabies.

Chloe's in the hospital
dying from it right now.

And I think Lana's been infected too.

- Lana?
- No more games.

If you know anything about what's
going on, you gotta tell me right now.

Before it's too late.

Six years ago,
a girl named Buffy Sanders...

was trapped in a cave
outside Smallville for several days.

I know, Lex. I read the article.

- Certain facts never made it to the press.
- Like what?

LuthorCorp aided in her rescue.
After she was transported to hospital...

the site was discovered
to possess unusual characteristics.

Lex, quit dancing around.

- What did LuthorCorp find?
- Meteor rocks.

They had soaked into the water table,
creating infected stalactites...

which, in turn, affected the indigenous
animal life, Desmodus rotundus.

Vampire bats.

So we are dealing with vampires.

There's nothing
mystical about this, Clark.

It's just a very unusual disease.

One of the LuthorCorp researchers
was bitten...

and developed unusual strength,
an aversion to bright light...

- and adaptive canine teeth.
- Fangs?

It seemed to help
with the cannibalistic tendencies.

What happened to him, Lex?

He retired to Sausalito...

after we cured him.

We were able to create a serum
that reverses the infection.

The stalactite keeps the serum active.

It must be administered
directly into the heart...

to be carried
through the bloodstream effectively.

Clark, are you all right?


I'm sorry it has to be this way, Clark.

But we don't always
get to choose who we are.

Sometimes our destiny leads us
to places that we don't wanna go.

And there's
nothing we can do about it.

- Lana, no.
- I love you, Clark.

I always will.

Buffy was wrong about you, Clark.

You are special, aren't you?

Nice work. He's quite a catch.

One hundred percent
corn-fed Kansas beef.

Let's eat.

Wait, isn't there something else
we can do with him?

Like what? Barbecue?

No, like convert him.

Into one of us.

We're a sorority, not a fraternity.

No boys allowed.

- You don't understand. He's special.
- Not to me.

- Get out of the way.
- No.

Excuse me.

He's mine. You're not touching him.

I'm really disappointed in you, Lana.

Looks like you're not
Tri Psi material after all.

Looks like I'm making the rules now.

Anyone have a problem with that?

- No. It's great.
- Yeah, congratulations.

Get out. Get out!

- Okay.
- Bye-bye.


Clark, it's okay. I'm here.

Listen to me. You're sick.

No. No, I'm not.

I've never felt better.

Clark, I know what's inside of you.

I've felt your strength.

And now I want you to feel mine.

No. No, this is not who you are.

But maybe it is.

Maybe I've been
hiding it from you all along.

Just like you were hiding
who you really are from me.

No, please.

Clark, don't fight it.

We're meant to be together.
You know that in your heart.

And this way we can be. Forever.

All it takes is one drop of blood.

Lana, no.

So the Tri Psis
got booted off campus...

and the infected girls
were treated by LuthorCorp.

My roommate was so freaked out
that she transferred to NYU...

which means Lana and I
are once again under the same roof.

As for Clark and Lana,
they seem to be able to survive anything.

How much of what happened
do you remember?

Bits and pieces.
Nothing coherent, thank God.

But there...
There was one thing that stuck with me.

Something I felt when I bit you.

What was that?


And love.

And an overwhelming
feeling of strength.

I think for a moment
I felt what was inside your heart.

And I've never felt closer to someone
in my entire life.

I miss being with you, Clark.

How's Lana?

She's back to normal, same as Chloe.

Things haven't been great between us,
but I wanna say I appreciate your help.

That means a lot to me, Clark.

There is something
I'm still curious about.

How did you know
about Project 1138?

- Does it matter?
- Only if it came from Professor Fine.

What do you have against him?

Clark, he's the one
who's been attacking me.

Is that why you stopped by his lecture?
Force him to stop looking at LuthorCorp?

He's doing a lot more than looking.

He's obtaining highly classified
proprietary documents.

- He's only after the truth.
- I think he's after more than that.


just be careful.

I don't believe Fine
is the friend you think he is.

The most exciting part
of completing a story is not finishing it...

but having someone else read it.

Is that a good "hmm"
or a bad "hmm"?

No, it's a good "hmm."

If we printed tabloid nonsense
like The Inquisitor does.

But we're the Daily Planet.

And tall tales about slaying
Buffy the vampire...

don't make it into a real newspaper.

Ms. Kahn, I didn't make this up.

They weren't vampires
of the mythical sense...

they were victims
of an unusual disease.

Look, here, it's all the research.

Interviews, eyewitness accounts,
the CDC report, everything.

- Was that a good "hmm" or a bad...?
- Shut up.

Here's the thing. Your writing shows
you're not completely without talent.

Thank you.

But you're not
a real reporter either. Yet.

Well, everyone has to start somewhere.

Welcome to the Daily Planet, kid.

Oh, my God.

Thank you so much. Where do I start?

Same place I did. At the bottom.

She never did print the article,
but I don't care.

I got in on the ground floor
of my dream.

Okay, so it's actually the basement.
But it's the Daily Planet.

The paper of record for kings,
presidents and prime ministers.

Not to mention future superheroes.

The way I look at it,
I had no place to go...

but up, up and away.